FRIVOLOUS LOLA
It's so true... life is short, but an ass gives it meaning.
And what an ass! Happy is he who can have it.
What a nice babe!
Such shame!
Well, with a mother like Zaira...
And a father like Andr�!
But is it true that he's the father?
Well, there are those who say yes. There are those who say no.
Go to hell, you little squirt!
Well, isn't she here yet?
No, not yet.
You just asked two minutes ago.
What's wrong with you today?
Nothing. Why should there be anything wrong?
Why do you bother asking?
He has what I had when I was his age.
When you were his age, you were horny for me,
not for some happy-go-lucky daughter of who-knows-who?
What do you mean "who-knows-who"?
Lola is Zaira's daughter.
That's my point! A woman who worked
as a coat checker aboard a transatlantic liner!
What's so bad about that? One job is as good as another.
Indeed! And she came back pregnant and not married!
She came back with Signor Andr�!
Let me remind you... a true Barabbas indeed!
Barabbas? What are you saying?
Someone who got all the way to the top?
He was the chef on the Normandie!
Listen, I just tell it like I see it.
And I see Signor Andr� living in C� del Mosto doing nothing,
with a woman who acts as his governess
but is really his lover, as everybody knows,
and another whom he treats as his daughter,
even though she has her mother's surname!
The life of a king, by God!
Blessed is he who can do it!
I know you'd like to.
But me, I won't give my Masetto to such people.
And anyway, why is everyone is such a rush? They're still young!
They've probably already done something.
Oh no! That never! I would swear on my Masetto.
Well, he's not a faggot.
You can bet on that! He's not an idiot either!
And he has better manners than you do!
Look what I have to hear.
# Pussy kid, I know it I'll be precocious with you #
# I'll be cheeky, mischievous, and shameless #
# Pussy kid, for you a little deceitful, you know #
# I'll be curious, impish, and capricious #
# I'm the free and beautiful kid #
# I'm bold #
# I'm boisterous and a bully #
# Kid #
# Rascal #
# If I ride on my bike, you know I'll have all eyes on me #
# I'll be seen, caressed, and listened to #
# This is the way I like to be, with my little ass turned up #
# I'll be licked, cuddled, and sniffed #
# I'm the party and the adventure #
# I'm the force of nature #
# I'm the joy of life #
# Kid #
# Rascal #
# I know I'll be affectionate, provocative, and mischievous #
# Sweet like you want #
# Roguish at times #
# Pricklier than the thorn of a rose #
# Of a rose #
But... but... how dare you!
# Pussy kid I know I'll be precocious with you #
# I'll be cheeky, mischievous, and shameless #
# I'll be an orgasm for you, I'll be a pleasure with you #
# I'll be the joy of life and happiness #
- Life! - # I'm the free and beautiful kid #
# I'm bold #
# I'm boisterous and a bully #
# Kid #
# Rascal #
# Kid #
# Rascal #
- You're lucky, you are! - What do you mean lucky?
Well, because I like you, no?
Ah yes. And how much do you like me?
If you come with me, I'll show you.
Hey! Who do you think is going to knead the bread?
You! If not, what am I paying you to do?
Oh come on! Hug me!
And how can I do that? I'd get dough all over you.
Give it here!
What are you doing?
I'm cleaning you, no?
Oh yes, Lola, you're right. I'm so lucky!
Enough! You're exciting me too much.
And so?
And so first you have to become my wife.
So that's the way it is? With me no, but with hookers yes?!
For your information, I don't go with hookers.
And yes, that's the way it is.
With you no, because I don't want to disrespect you.
"For your information?"
You're crazy!
Listen, Masetto,
virginity is like a crumb of bread.
The first bird that comes along takes it away.
- What are you trying to say? - That you're an asshole!
Excuse me? And who is it who goes around half naked?
It's hot! What should I do, dress like a nun?
Tell me that you think only of me.
Yes, you know I think only of you; I see no one but you.
Oh God, Lola, you're driving me crazy.
And I'm here. What are you waiting for?
Signor Tommaso,
the dough has risen.
Oh come on!
I'll see you after lunch. I'll pick you up at 3:00.
No, go respect somebody else.
- Shameless thing! - Talking to me?
You could have at least brushed up a bit.
Oh, I leaned on some flour sacks.
I know what you leaned on.
I'll clean you.
Hey!
You hurt me.
Insolent bitch!
Blessed!
Without heads they're more beautiful.
The body is more expressive than the face,
and above all, it doesn't lie.
Right, the quintessence of being:
coito ergo sum!
En effet, all the rest is merely distraction.
Oh, you can even say it's a lie, a mischief,
or even worse, a curse.
Work, success, progress...
all bullshit.
Only there, I am.
Some of the credit I think is due to the black and white.
Zaira was made for black and white.
I'll never forget the first time I saw her,
in Le Havre.
I was already chef on the Normandie,
she was the cloak girl in first class.
She had on a black uniform,
with a white collar,
black stockings,
and pure white skin.
A bombshell.
She was going with someone else,
but left him for me.
She sacrificed him for me.
And you, in exchange, sacrificed your travels,
your adventures, your philanderings.
All I gave up were today's stupid myths.
That boom of theirs will blow them up.
Here, on the other hand, I laugh at all the trouble
the world's getting itself into.
It's enough for me to have what I want on my plate and in my bed.
And that's the joie de vivre, Pep�.
C� del Mosto,
your friendship,
Zaira's ass,
Lola's... smiles.
But is she really your daughter?
What fucking difference does it make?
How disgusting, Mama!
- You'll eat them, though. - We thank the Lord who created them.
Blessed be the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, Father.
Now and forever.
I have something for you.
He's the good Pope. He'll protect you.
He's the good Pope.
See if the water's boiling and check the salt.
Seems good to me.
You know that Andr� is salty.
I know, I know.
Now clean your hands
and get a tray with two glasses, a carafe of wine,
and four bread rolls.
Here, take it to the master. He's in the study with Pep�.
What's the matter, Zaira?
Oh, my daughter's growing up.
We thank the Lord who created her.
Take it, Father.
The little rump is yours by right.
It's the bottom of the salami, the prior's portion.
Ah, the rump. Thank you child,
thank you, God bless you, thank you so much.
Is it true that you and Maxim had a lover in common?
A famous dancer?
Famous yes, but not for her dancing.
Once she took 12 men in a row, one after the other.
She loved rituals, she did.
But, wasn't he impotent?
He warmed her up, then I arrived.
Like I told you, she loved rituals.
Oh Lola,
bonjour, ma petite.
What a pleasure!
Good morning, Signor Pep�.
Mama sent something to eat and drink.
The wonderful smell of the bakery.
It's more the smell of the baker.
And how is Tommaso?
Why do you care? You don't have to marry him.
If that baker makes love the way he bakes bread,
you're a truly lucky girl.
Merci!
Shall I put it here,
or will it block the projector?
Put it there. Put it there.
Thanks!
It's not the tray that will block...
No, no!
Not that. It's forbidden. You know that.
I'm like Bluebeard,
every door except one!
And that? Where did that come from?
From an old boat, L'Atalante.
- Does it still work? - I think so. Take it.
Help me.
Come on. Come here. Come on.
What are you doing? Let me down!
Go now. I give it to you.
It's your present.
Go on. Leave us to our work.
Of course, it's delicate work.
Many a time you've had to exchange one ass for another.
I find her delicious...
a cream puff.
And something more...
A rare natural slut, ready for everything.
- Who? Lola? - No, her.
And who is she?
Carla, a provincial wife,
shameless and amoral,
and with a fear of hell
that makes her even more delicious.
- Where did you catch her? - At Michelle's dress shop.
She went there for a dress. This is only an audition.
Today she comes back
for a complete service...
a supplement.
I promised her that the photos
would be published only in France.
Besides, no publisher in Italy would dare.
Andr�...
- are you coming too? - Of course I'll come.
Even though, I'm sorry,
but I fear she'll be disappointed
that we want much less from her
than she seems willing to give.
As for me, I'll be comfortable only if you come.
Michelle is a bit jealous when she sees me
with certain models.
You know, provincial women
always make you become someone else.
That's why I have to do "evil" every now and then
and "give free rein to the rest of my wants,"
as Zaira calls my adventures.
Bravo, Andr�! Show everyone that toi c'est toi,
and it's up to them to take you or leave you.
Come, come on, I'll accompany you.
It's a splendid day.
I'll marry.
I'll marry not.
But if someone comes in?
He'll enjoy the show.
The Normandie was a floating house of pleasure.
Pep�, prepare her.
I'm done.
The stakes are ready.
Turn around.
I'll be the first.
Then the others will all follow.
How many others?
Twelve.
As you wish, mon Chef.
In my hands, this bakery, I'll make it
something like you've never seen... modern, a real moneymaking factory.
Quiet! Quiet!
There! There!
Quiet! Quiet!
The Knight! The Knight of Italy!
I don't see any knight. A few twats, maybe.
He who knows how to see, sees. He who knows how to see, sees.
The Knight of Italy!
Who is he?
Gildo the Voyeur, everybody knows him.
What's a voyeur?
Someone who gets excited by spying on... the Knights of Italy!
And the Knights of Italy, who are they?
Dickie birds!
But he seems to be a harmless sort.
He never bothers anybody. It's enough for him to watch.
Come on, let's go. You see, Lola,
I want to put in a breadstick factory,
to start in the mass production of sliced bread
and egg noodles for export to Germany,
perhaps even opening a modern farm for egg-laying hens,
with mechanized transportation of fodder.
There are so many things, Lola, that I want to do with you!
There's only one thing I want to do with you!
Wait. We'll go a bit further away.
- The voyeur's over there. - So? He doesn't bother anybody.
It's enough for him to watch.
I want it, Tommaso!
Do you feel me?
Yes, I feel you. I feel you.
Take me, Tommaso. Now! This instant!
Come on! Do it! Do it! What are you waiting for?
You know what I'm waiting for. For us to get married.
But he says no, he doesn't have anything to wait for.
Don't you see that he can't wait any longer?
Put your panties back on.
No, I won't put them back on.
First I want you to disrespect me.
- You want what? - I want you to take me,
screw me, deflower me!
What are you talking about? Are you crazy?
Only a few days from our wedding, why do you want to ruin it all?
I don't want to ruin a fucking thing.
Or actually, that fucking thing is exactly what I want!
It would do me good to know before marriage!
I want to know beforehand if I'll like it.
Beforehand! Understand? Beforehand!
Beforehand! I want it as a proof of love.
Proof of love? My love for you? That's utterly ridiculous!
And then what else do you want? The world upside-down?
Stop it, Lola. Don't talk nonsense!
Hey, are you crazy?
Wake up, Masetto! Where do you think you are,
in church or at the movies?
I know that your head's messed up.
You're jealous, and you're afraid that I'll cuckold you!
That's why you don't want to make love with me!
You want to keep me a virgin
as an insurance policy against being cuckolded!
Poor idiot. If I want, I can make you a cuckold
before or after the marriage!
Go, go, run away, marry your factory!
Stop, Lola. Where are you going?
To find someone who's not as dumb as you are.
Will anyone take me?
Is there anyone who will disrespect me?
Lola, come back.
Hey you, voyeur!
What happened?
I scared him too.
You see, you should always stay with me.
Idiot!
You're right; I'm an idiot.
Oh God, the dressmaker! I have an appointment at 5:00! Run!
We'll get there in time. Don't worry.
Sonia! Come!
It's beautiful! Come!
Get going, come on! If I get there late, you better watch out!
I have to try on the wedding dress.
What's the use of a dress now, now that you're not going to marry me?
I want it all the same.
Maybe so I can marry someone else.
What's wrong with it this time?
Do something. If you don't, you'll bleed to death on me
before we get to the dressmaker's.
You do something, damn it! Get my handkerchief out of my pocket.
I can't find it. There's no handkerchief here.
There's nothing at all.
Damn it, Lola, stop the bleeding.
Use your blouse, your skirt, something!
Wait.
Give it here.
A woman's juices
are the best disinfectant.
You're really crazy.
What goes on inside that little head? What?
Only because today is Easter.
But it's the last time that I'll do it.
Is it my fault if I find it disgusting?
What's disgusting is disgusting!
Prejudices! Complexes! Repressions!
I know how good your finger is.
What have you been eating? Goddamned bird!
Leave it. I'll do it.
What are you sucking, stupid?!
You'd love me to have it like this, eh?
Come on, let's go, idiot.
Just in time!
Wait! I'm coming with you!
Are you crazy? A wedding dress
seen by the groom equals marriage come to doom!
Let me warn you about that dressmaker.
The French are all a bit whorish,
and so are dressmakers.
She's both, so figure it out!
But why should I prefer a cretin like you?
I'll wait for you at the bar.
Oh hell! What a storm!
Capricious, like women.
Oui, j'arrive. I'm coming right away.
Ah, c'est toi. Vite, mon chou. Come in.
Sorry I'm late, Signora Michelle.
It's just that I have other appointments. We'll do it quickly.
Quel orage!
Voil�.
Beautiful. A true masterpiece!
It's coming along marvelously.
Get undressed. Let's try it on right away.
Ah, yes.
- Really, I can't. - Pourquoi pas?
I'm not wearing panties.
Ah, �a alors! Did you lose them on the street, par hasard?
Uh, sort of. Let's say it was an emergency.
Oui, oui. I understand. At your age, it can happen...
c'est pas grave. I have exactly what you need.
D�shabille-toi. We'll fix it right away.
Vite, vite.
Vite? Vite? Pourquoi vite? What's the hurry?
I'll tell you later. Pep�'s waiting for you.
Go.
Go, go.
Voil�! They come from Paris. They should suit you well.
Et bien, ma petite... chapeau! Quel physique!
Thank you, Signora Michelle.
I'll return them to you tomorrow.
Mais non, what are you saying? My gift to you.
They'll be my wedding present.
However, the best dress for you would be to stay nude.
Yes? And how can we go to church? Only in a veil?
What a pity! You're perfect!
I know men, ch�rie,
men who would pay a fortune
for someone like you.
Might you still be a virgin?
Unfortunately!
- How much would they pay? - A lot, a lot of money!
Every girl is sitting on a fortune, and doesn't know it.
Just think, there's a man
who is ready to pay a great sum,
only to be near you,
without doing anything.
Then it's a mania! They all don't want to do anything!
No, Signora Michelle, thank you,
but love is fun.
If it becomes work, it's not fun anymore.
Excuse me for a moment.
Signora Carla?
- Good evening, Signora Michelle. - Par l�.
Donnette!
Oh, mon chou,
you're such an angel.
But your husband, Signora Michelle,
what kind of photos does he take?
Photos d'art, bien s�r.
But the models in Italy have no class.
In Paris it was something else, plus chic!
And how is it that you came here?
Oh, mon Dieu, my back!
Oh, la guerre, la politique, the movies.
I was a costume designer. He was a camera operator.
But that's an old story.
Voil�.
Perfect.
Attends, we still need the veil. Ne bouge pas,
if you don't want the pins to prick you. J'arrive...
Her ass sings a song popular in Jamaica
where the virgin wears out the club
of a marvelous sailor. Apollinaire.
I agreed only because they're artistic photos, Signor Andr�.
But of course, my dear, artistic and poetic.
Don't squeeze your legs together.
There, like that. Now lift your slip.
Good. Let's bend a little forward.
Stick it out, stick it out, stick it out majestically.
Voil�. Take care that the light on her ass is right.
Signor Pep� knows me, but you, Signor Andr�,
I don't want you to think badly of me.
What are you saying, Signora Carla?
Pep�, I'd put a veil there.
Oh, pardon. I'm looking for a veil.
Oh, mon Dieu, non! That's the wedding veil!
Oh God, Carla, you are worthy of D'Annunzio.
A shape so purely round itself
Where the arch of the back begins
and fulfills the longing hand.
Am I pretty?
Un bijou!
I got it. What do you think of it?
Oh. I wouldn't know.
Qu'est-ce qu'il y a, ma petite? Something not right?
No, nothing.
Maybe it's the dark sky, the rain.
It always happens the first time you put on a wedding dress.
But it passes. It's only a little cockroach.
A little what?
Mais oui. How do you say, cafard...?
Ah! Melancholy.
Andr� also says that, when Mama's sad.
Oui, melancholy... tristesse.
But I'm not sad, Signora Michelle.
I'm mad as hell!
Bravo, Lola.
Toujours we need to be mad as hell, even when we get married.
You took a lot of time!
It took the time it took.
Is it nice, at least?
Are you having something?
- A marsala. - At this hour?
If I feel like having a marsala, so what?
A marsala.
Did you see the nice wedding present that Signora Michelle gave me?
- Cover yourself! - Why?
- They're looking at you. - So?
Will you stop staring at her?
Otherwise her boyfriend will get mad.
Relax. We're not at home.
This is northern Italy, the guys don't get offended.
You want me to get into a fight? Behave yourself!
Oh Tommaso, you're so boring!
Oh God, oh God, oh God, now we got problems.
Stop it, Lola. Let's get out of here.
Not me. I'm not going anywhere.
Why not?
No. Because it's raining
and I need to go pee.
Can I give you a hand?
Guys, it's a done deal; she's mine.
That's enough already!
What are you doing? Are you nuts?
You're coming with me!
Hey! What manners!
Let me go. You're hurting me. Who do you think you are?
From now on you dance only with me.
And then they say we're the jealous ones!
You want me to break that Bedouin mug of yours?
Try it then.
Oh no! Not the pinball machine!
I wouldn't marry him even if I were dead!
I'm free, free, free to do whatever the fuck I want!
Lucky you! Wish I were.
Miss. Get in. I'll give you a lift.
I'm going where you're going.
Wherever you want.
Get in, come on. What are you afraid of?
I'm a gentleman, you know? What? Can't you see it?
Miss, get in, come on.
Lola!
Come on, get in, move.
Lola!
Come on, come on!
Lola! Where are you going?
You broke your toy?
What toy?
The one who was running after you and calling you.
You're Lola, aren't you?
Me? No, not me.
My name is Zaira.
Allow me to introduce myself. Doctor Lenzi Remo.
I'm Remo the furrier.
I've got a workshop that will soon be a factory.
Look. Look in the back.
Touch. Touch. Feel how soft they are.
You have a beautiful body, Zaira.
You could be a model... maybe for my furs.
Would you like a little music?
Relax, my love, and tell me where you need to go.
You want me to close the window?
Leave it open. I need the air and the rain.
Afraid?
I'm not afraid of anything.
Damn, she's a thing!
Look at that!
What an idea, Zaira... you and my furs.
Am I pretty?
The prettiest.
You are la joie de vivre!
Formidable!
A dream in black and white.
What are you doing? Where are we?
Calm down. You're okay, you're with me.
Leave me alone! I want to get out of here!
Hey, babe, first you go around without panties,
and now you don't want to do it? What do I look like, an idiot?
No, but you are one all the same.
Ah, you even make fun of me, but now it's my turn.
Come here! Come here!
Take your hands off me, you pig!
You're crazy!
First you lead me on,
and then you act like Saint Maria Goretti!
Ah, Zaira, you know what you are? You know what you are?
A slut.
What are you doing, you bitch?
Where do you think you're going?
Fucking whore.
Where the fuck are you going?
Try it again, asshole!
This isn't right.
I'm coming, I'm coming.
- It's Masetto. - Send him in.
Come in.
What a good book!
Finally, a book that says loud and clear
that they were wrong to close the brothels,
and that from now on, society women
will be putting out for everyone, even for free.
That ugly slut of a lady senator!
She's the one who can really be called a whore.
I don't give a fuck about her. I'm here for you.
What have they done to you?
You look like you've been abandoned at sea!
You had a squabble, huh?
You can tell me.
I came to fuck, not to talk.
Of course, my precious. But first dry yourself.
Relax, sweetie, your Wilma is here with you.
Come on, now dry your hair.
Your money isn't soaked too, I hope.
Give it here. I'll do it...
What did you do to your finger?
Your bandage is coming all apart.
Come here. I'll fix you up.
But it's a piece of panties!
Ah, love, love.
She must really love you to sacrifice her panties for you!
So, come on, tell me, why did you have a fight?
Your usual jealousy, I bet.
How the fuck do I have to tell you that I came here only to fuck?
It's not true. You also came to treat someone badly.
And that's the trouble with a private enterprise...
everyone's in such a hurry; there's no time for intimacies.
In the old days, in the brothels, you joked around with the clients,
you had conversations...
It's a matter of principle. I'm like that.
A question of principle for a fuck?
But of course that's why you fight afterwards.
There. Put it on.
You know you excite me.
Come. Let's go to bed.
So, how do you want me to take it?
Yes, dear. I'm all yours.
Now don't think any more of that girl who blew up at you.
Come down more. Lay on top of me. Kiss me if you want.
Yes, you drive women crazy.
This is how you ought to fuck that slut who made you angry.
- Be quiet. Shut up. - Yes, you're right, precious.
I'll shut up. Think only happy thoughts.
I'm only your slut.
Oh, Lola! Yes. Slut!
Lola!
Oh slut! Lola! Yes!
But why, Wilma, why does Lola spite me?
Oh, sweet boy,
don't you know that love is all a spite?
What happened to you?
Nothing. I got caught in the rain.
- How come you're up so early? - I'm getting ready to go hunting.
Pep�'s coming by later.
- And Mama? - Upstairs, sleeping.
Here.
Dry yourself, if you don't want to catch your death of cold.
Go on.
First I need to take off this soaking dress.
Hold it up in front of me while I undress.
What's wrong? Don't you always say that I'm your daughter?
I'm done. Now you can dry me.
What are you waiting for? No one else is here.
So what happened?
You had a fight with Tommaso?
With him it's finished!
What happened?
Everything! He's the opposite of you.
With him it's no games, no dreams, no horsing around.
Always no, no, no. No to everything.
And then rows, fights, suspicions.
He's jealous of everyone,
even of you.
That seems right.
You can't lock up la joie de vivre.
How is that right?
But you, do you love him?
I don't know.
There are two Lolas.
One wants Masetto,
the other...
Finish it yourself.
Go on. Take it. Drink. It will do you good.
It's choking me.
Go get me a dry dress from my room.
Not even "please"? Why don't you go?
Because if I go,
then I won't come back here to you.
What are you looking at?
The moon.
So am I.
Qu'est-ce qu'elle est belle!
Like a photograph?
Or better.
Like a woman.
Get dressed, come on.
You put it on me.
Oh pourquois? Stop!
How did you find it?
I followed my nose.
I bet that when I'm not here, you go to my room.
But you come to spy even when I'm here.
And yet you'll still marry Tommaso.
No, I won't marry him.
And afterwards you'll enjoy making him jealous.
Want to bet that I'm not marrying him?
What will you bet?
Me.
Don't joke, baby girl.
I'm not joking at all.
If I marry Tommaso, I'll be yours.
Don't talk foolishly.
I could be your father.
Are you,
or aren't you?
Andr�! Lola!
- Whore! - Stop, Zaira!
- Whore! - Stop, stop! Nothing happened!
- Whore! - Look who's talking.
I saw them, you know, your brothel photos.
My compliments!
The others I can accept! But my daughter, no!
Scoundrel! What did you do? Is she your lover?
What did you do? Tell me! Tell me! I want to know everything!
What's there to know, you jealous idiot?
She was soaked to the skin and I helped to dry her!
That's all. Nothing else! Nothing else!
Now I want to know everything from you.
- Everything what? - And this time...
I want the truth!
Whose daughter is Lola?
Ah, you want to know, eh? Suspicion is gnawing at you?
From me you'll never know, never!
This is why I never told you, because I wanted you to remain in doubt,
a doubt that would protect Lola and save our love.
And instead no, no, it didn't do any good.
Because you're like a pig...
the idea of Lola being your daughter, didn't hold you back,
it excited you!
Lola is the daughter of Jean!
Go on, hit me again.
You remember Jean, your machinist friend on the Normandie?
He's the one who introduced us. I was his lover, and you knew it!
I had Lola by him, but after I had already met you!
It was his going-away present! Happy now, pig?! Happy?!
And now that you know that Lola isn't your daughter, go, go, run back to her!
No, Zaira, no.
You know you are the only woman I have ever loved.
- Pig. Pig. Pig. - No, my love, no.
Do you feel me, love?
Oh yes. Feel how much I love you? You feel it?
No. Liar. I feel how much you love her. You want her, not me.
No, it's not true. Don't talk like that, Zaira.
You know it's not true.
No woman excites me the way you do.
No one else in the world, no one, no one.
You are the only one I can truly love.
Yes, my love, yes. Come here.
Yes, bite me,
bite me, my love, bite me!
Oh yes, yes, Zaira!
What an ass, Zaira!
Yes, my love, yes!
Stop it! You're getting on my nerves!
What's wrong? You don't like the song?
No, I don't like you.
Well, what's to look at?
Not done yet?
If I closed the oven it means no, doesn't it?
Strange. According to the clock they should be done.
Oh yeah?
You want to teach me my job, maybe?
And you get steamed up at me just because you can't make it with Lola?
Listen, faggot, you're not even allowed to think the name Lola, is that clear?
Clear! Clear! Of course.
Clear, my ass!
Fucking asshole! Now you're going to get it!
The bread! The bread's burning!
Cunt! Look what you've done!
Masetto.
Anything else?
- One kilo of bread rolls. - I'm sorry, Signora Rosa,
but the hand-rolled bread will take another half hour.
- Oh nice. Why? - Oh, the whimsy of the oven.
And of the bakers...
when they have their heads who knows where!
Where do you want them to have their thoughts? On marriage, no?
Unfortunately. It's all her fault if Masetto is no longer himself.
Watch it. You don't have to marry Lola; your son does.
Let's hope that whimpering girl doesn't take after that weasel Signor Andr�.
- But he's almost your in-law! - That devil my in-law?
If Lola is Signor Andr�'s daughter, I'd never give her my Masetto.
Good morning, everybody!
Good morning to you, Lola. The usual?
No bread this morning; only Masetto!
You're asking for trouble if you set foot in there.
There's a supplementary batch for him to do.
Don't distract him too much.
They burned the bread, perchance?
But look at her!
Hi!
- What have you managed to do? - How dare you come here!
How do I dare? Me? It's you!
First you make a jealous scene at the bar and embarrass me
in front of everyone, and then you chase me down the street
forcing me to get in the first car that passes by!
I'm the one who made you get in that car?
Yes, you, you and your goddamned jealousy!
And you know what happened in that car? You want me to tell you?
- What? - So much the worse for you!
Worse, my ass! Talk! Talk!
I was assaulted.
You're asking for it if you come to break my balls! And mind the oven!
Enjoy!
What's this story? If it's true I'll strangle you. Talk!
Now. Come on. Talk!
I was assaulted! Assaulted!
That guy in the car took a back street,
then he stopped and jumped on top of me.
He noticed I didn't have any panties.
I fought back, but he hit me,
immobilized me, tied me up.
I cried out and called you.
Oh, how many times I called you, Masetto.
But he laughed... no one could hear me.
I told him, "Let me go, I beg you, I'm a virgin.
I swear I'm a virgin."
And then... he forced my legs apart,
and he couldn't stop himself.
And then what? Talk, for God's sake, talk!
He took it out and he thrust it inside me!
You understand, shithead?
I've been deflowered, deflowered, deflowered.
And it's your fault!
It's not true! Enough! Stop it! You made it all up! Nothing happened!
It did happen! It did!
If you don't believe me, take a look!
Take a look at what, wench?
Wench!
Wench! Wench!
Yes, do it!
Wench! Wench!
Do it, Masetto, do it!
Liar. Liar. Liar.
Mine. You're my liar.
My liar, you're my liar.
Why did you tell me all that rubbish?
Because I made up my mind that you'd do it.
Go on. Give me something to clean myself.
Here. Use this. It's clean.
It's to cover the dough when it rises.
Just what we need. Now that you came inside me,
maybe I'll rise too.
That's not so bad. Just tell that dressmaker
to hurry up and finish the gown.
I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you.
Bitch, was this your cock?
Poor thing. She's looking for her husband.
Of all the great beauties here, there is only one
fresh as the morning; her name is Lola!
If you want to sleep tonight, my baker,
I'll take your place!
One for me too!
Right away, dear.
My marital duties oblige me to take it only from my husband.
Best wishes, and may your children be gays.
Oh enough, I'm going to burst!
Stop, Ginetto! Enough! Stop!
Come on, boss, it's yours!
What's this thingamajig?
Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!
Oh no. Enough tears, Carmelina, give me a kiss instead.
- Peepee? - And...
What do you mean "and"? And what?
Ah-ah. No questions if you want me to tell you the truth.
No one's ever seen such a banquet in these parts.
You couldn't have done more even if she had been your daughter.
Yes, I would say it's gone well indeed.
But let me go check the wedding cake.
It's my masterpiece!
Zaira, how about a kiss with the groom?
In this world there are only three things that leave no trace:
a gull in the air, a fish in the water...
And a cock inside a pussy!
Brava, Wilma and your pussy!
# All women work the same way #
# You touch their tits and their pussies get wet #
# I too, work the same way... you touch my belly #
# And I get a hard-on! #
And tomorrow we'll all fast in penitence.
Stop crying. Eat something.
Tonight I'll make you have some fun.
I have a present for you.
I do too.
But you mustn't tell anyone.
It must remain a secret between you and me.
Same with mine.
With this, I declare you
a member
of my club.
Oh Andr�,
it's stupendous!
And you, you have something to give me?
You know, I married Tommaso,
therefore... I lost the bet.
You won me.
I must pay.
No, Lola, no, stop it.
But what are you thinking?
I wanted to say that I must now give you my wedding souvenir.
Take them.
They're yours.
Oh Lola,
I've never met anybody like you.
Nor I like you.
I am truly a lucky man.
All men who please me are fortunate.
Yes, so lucky.
The bride! The bride! The bride!
Ready.
Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!
Who knows if she'll be faithful to him?
Who? He to her, or she to him?
Oh, both of them.
They're in love, and that's enough.
What's fidelity got to do with love?
It has everything to do with it!
No, it has nothing to do with it!
- Yes, of course it does. - No, I tell you, no.
Did you see the nice gift that Andr� gave me?
Nice! Did you put on the dressmaker's gift too?
- No. No panties. - Why no panties?
I took them off along with the veil when I went up to the room.
They were hurting me.
Are you telling me the truth, Lola?
Of course, like I already told you. Enough of your questions!
You're not still jealous, now that we're married, by any chance?
Especially now.
Maybe you're already sorry that you did it?
I don't know yet.
After all, it's the first time I've been married.
Why? Are you intending to cheat on me perhaps?
I don't know yet.
After all, it's the first time I've been married.
Translation by Marco Fornier