老爸老媽浪漫史 第六季 第三集
孩子們 在我任職教授的前幾年 Kids, in my early days of being a professor,
有一個很簡單的目標 I had one simple goal:
就是上一堂能改變某人一生的課 give a lecture that changes someone's life.
2010年的某個下午 我做到了 then one afternoon in 2010, I achieved that goal.
未完成 Unfinished.
在你能找出的所有可以描述圣家贖罪堂的詞語中 Of all the words you could use to describe La Sagrada Familia
例如棕色 尖狀 詭異 brown, pointy, weird
而真正貼切的詞語 the one that really seems to stick
是"未完成" 為什么呢 is "unfinished." Why?
因為在1926年6月7日 Because on June 7, 1926,
留著一把棕色未經修整的奇怪尖胡子 the architect Antoni Gaudi
著名的建筑設計師安東尼·高迪 whose beard was also brown, pointy, weird and unfinished...
被一輛公交車碾死 ...was run over by a bus.
因此 他的最偉大的杰作才會至今都是未完成狀態 And so, his greatest masterpiece would remain forever...
首先 讓我們回到幾天前 But first,let's back up a few days.
泰德 瞧吧臺那邊 Ted, look across the bar.
三個小妞 一個很辣 一個有點辣 Three chicks: one hot, one kind of hot
還有一個是純粹來搞笑的 and one who I'm assuming is really funny.
我們上吧 We ride!
怎么了 What's wrong?
我不知道 I don't know.
等服務員上漢堡 Got a burger coming.
兄弟 我告訴過你 Bro, I told you,
如果你需要泡妞幫手 找我就行 if you ever need a wingman, I'm your guy.
我才不要再經歷那種窘境呢 Yeah, I'm not going to go through that again.
嗨 Hi.
巴尼·斯丁森 Barney Stinson.
我是馬修 巴尼的泡妞小幫手 And I'm Marshall, Barney's wingman.
打擾了 Thank you for your time.
好吧 那兩個辣妹和我玩雙飛 Fine. I'll have a three-way with hot and kind of hot
那個搞笑的妞就在一旁拍艷照吧 while Giggles works the camera.
哥上了 I ride!
告訴你們件事 So, get this:
昨晚我看電視的時候 Last night, I was watching TV, and it turns out,
某個衛星頻道 some random satellite channel
播放了某個芝加哥當地的新聞廣播 picks up a certain local Chicago newscast.
現在 由唐·弗蘭克帶來十一點新聞 And now, the 11:00 News with Don Frank.
囧 Boo!
天啊 經歷一次 Oh, man, it's bad enough
可怕的分手已經夠難受的了 to have to go through a horrible breakup,
而現在那個人又突然從電視里冒出來 but then have that person pop up on your TV?
你還好嗎 Are you okay?
我承認 起初我感到有點怪怪的 Well, I'll admit, at first, I felt a little weird.
但在驚訝之余 我意識到 But after the initial shock, I realized something:
我已經放下了 I've moved on.
都過去了 Finished with that.
那是一個平靜的告別時刻 It was a peaceful moment of closure.
太好了 That's great.
-祝賀你 -是的 謝謝 - Good on you. - Yeah, thank you.
羅賓 你把便便藏哪里了 Where's the poop, Robin?
你說什么 Excuse me?
我小時候養了一只叫憨豆的狗 When I was a kid, I had a dog named Bean.
每當它的臉上出現像你這樣的表情 Whenever he made the face that you're making right now,
你就知道 它在屋里某處大便了 you just knew he pooped somewhere in the house.
羅賓 你的感情大便在哪里 Where's the poop, Robin?
-我不知道你什么意思 -羅賓 便便在哪 - I don't know what you're talking about. - Where's the poop, Robin?
-沒有便便 -便便在哪 - There's no poop. - Where's the poop?
我招了 Okay.
告別那段感情 我心里并不平靜 So it wasn't entirely a peaceful moment of closure.
唐 插播則新聞 Hey, Don, here's some breaking news:
你的前額青春痘爆發了 there's a zit breaking out on your forehead.
都喝完了 Finished with that.
聽我說 我并不得意 但唐走得那么匆忙 Look, I'm not proud, but Don left so quickly
我連跟他最后攤牌的機會都會沒有 that I never got the chance to have that final showdown.
所以才會大聲嚷嚷 雖然只是沖著電視 So yelling at him, even on TV,
感覺也挺不錯 felt kind of good.
而且你們知道嗎 And you know what?
我現在已經真正忘記他了 Now I truly am over him.
-那太好了 -謝謝 - That's great. - Thank you.
祝賀你 Good on you.
羅賓 感情大便不是說沖就沖的 Where's the poop, Robin?
該死 Damn it!
好吧 在忘掉他的過程中 Okay, in the process of truly getting over him,
我也許有打電話給他 I may have called him
并留下了一條不怎么文雅的語音信息 and left an... indelicate voice mail.
老娘要宰了你 I am gonna kill you.
我要飛到芝加哥 手刃了你 I'm gonna fly to Chicago, kill you,
把你的蠢臉放到芝加哥最有名的披薩中吃掉 put your stupid face on a deep dish pizza and eat it.
之后也許會去看場芝加哥熊隊的橄欖球比賽 And then maybe catch a Bears game.
但主要的事還是宰了你 再啃掉你的臉 But mostly the killing and eating your face thing.
把你的手機給我 Give me your phone.
我們要刪了唐的號碼 We're deleting Don's number.
別擔心 Don't worry.
我再也不那樣做了了 I am never doing that again.
下不為例 It was a one-time thing.
證明給我們看 Prove it.
刪除聯系人 Delete contact.
看 刪除了 There. Deleted.
嘿 瞧 Oh, hey.
哇 這么快就回來了啊 Wow. Back already.
單飛的感覺怎么樣 How was flying solo?
我說的"單飛"是指少一個幫手飛不高 And by "solo," I mean so low
所以很快被打下來了 that you got shot down.
我并沒有被拒絕 Look, I didn't get shot down.
相信我 我會抱得美人歸的 Trust me, I'll get the yes.
巴尼·斯丁森總是抱得美人歸 Barney Stinson always gets the yes.
這些都只是計劃的一部分而已 This is all part of the plan.
在初步接觸之后 After initial contact,
我現在進行愛理不理階段 I'm now in the ignoring phase.
巴尼 你為什么不像一個普通人一樣 Barney, why can't you just take a girl out to dinner
攜女友就餐呢 like a normal person?
黃金法則 我不會為了贏得美人心而請客吃飯 Golden rule: I do not buy dinner to get the yes.
吃飯是種太過親密的活動 Dinner's a very intimate activity.
它要求一定層次的心有靈犀和眼神交流 It requires a level of connection and eye contact
而做愛就不需要了 that sex just doesn't.
叫我守舊派吧 Call me old-fashioned,
我需要至少和某女孩上床三次 but I need to have sex with a girl at least three times
甚至才開始考慮和她一起就餐的可能 before I'll even consider having dinner with her.
第二天 在學校 The next day, at the university,
我迎來了一位不速之客 I had a surprise visitor.
你來這里有何貴干 What are you doing here?
天啊 Oh, God!
你不會是在泡我的學生吧 You're dating one of my students.
是瑞秋 對嗎 It's Rachel, isn't it?
巴尼 我知道她穿撩人的毛衣 Barney, I know she wears provocative sweaters,
但她才十九歲 but she's 19!
我現在是不是要準備洗耳恭聽 Now I'm gonna have to hear all about it, right?
來吧 精確到每個細節哦 Go on, tell me every detail.
不 你這個抑郁的老變態 No, you pent-up old perv.
我給你帶了一份禮物 I brought you a present.
認得這個嗎 Recognize this?
這是我設計的大樓 It's my building.
孩子們 你們也許記得幾年前 Kids, you may remember that, a few years earlier,
我曾指定為巨人國家銀行設計 I was chosen to design the new Manhattan headquarters
新的曼哈頓總部 for Goliath National Bank.
那是每個建筑師夢寐以求的機會 It was the opportunity every architect dreams about.
而當該項目最終被放棄時 And when the project was ultimately scrapped...
深深傷了我的心 it broke my heart.
你還記得我們是同事時 Do you remember how awesome it was to be co-workers
不 應該是兄弟同事時多棒嗎 nay, bro-workers?
等等 你不會是說 Wait a minute. Y-You don't mean...
泰德·莫斯比 項目重新啟動了 Ted Mosby, it's back on.
我們會按你的設計造這幢樓 We're gonna build your building.
太棒了 你要設計我們的新總部 This is awesome...you're designing our new headquarters.
現在 也許有人會告訴你 Now, there will be voices that tell you
屋頂曲棍球場是不可行的 a hockey rink on the roof is unfeasible.
你不要被人左右你的想法 You've got to shut those voices out.
實際上 我打算拒絕 Actually, I think I gonna say no.
拒絕嗎 你腦子沒進水吧 No? Are you kidding me?
但是在紐約城里有一棟你設計的大樓 But designing a building in New York City
可是你的終生目標 is your lifelong dream.
我不想再給巨人國家銀行干活了 I do not want to work for GNB again.
那些人太邪惡了 Those guys are evil.
無意冒犯 馬修 No offense, Marshall.
老兄 沒關系 Dude, none taken.
是的 巨人銀行就像《星球大戰》里面的黑暗帝國 Yes, GNB is, uh, the Empire from Star Wars.
但是死星無論怎樣都是會建成的 But the Death Star's gonna get built either way.
你不認為死星建筑師會把這一成就 And don't you think the architect of the Death Star
很興奮地填進自己的太空簡歷里嗎 is pretty psyched to have that thing on his space resume?
雖然我承認 I mean, yes,
他的設計并不完美 his design was flawed in the sense
一顆子彈射穿那個排氣口 that a single bullet fired into a particular vent
就會摧毀整個星球 would explode the whole thing.
但據我們所知 那是承包商的錯 For all we know, that was the contractor's fault.
你可以避免這個問題 你知道為什么嗎 But that won't happen on your watch. You know why?
因為你是獨一無二的泰德·莫斯比 Because you're Ted Mosby!
你要設計一個曼哈頓史上最華麗的 And you are gonna design the most beautiful,
沒有出口 抵御叛逆的建筑 ventless, Rebel-proof building in Manhattan,
而且在滯留層的每一個垃圾壓縮機上 with clearly marked emergency stops
都要有醒目的緊急符號 for every trash compactor on the detention level.
我知道這很難理解 Look, I know this is hard to understand,
但是現在 我的生活安靜 簡單 快樂 but right now, I have a quiet, simple, happy little life.
我挺喜歡這樣的 And I like it that way.
我知道我內心的想法 I know what my answer has to be.
我不能接受這份工作 巴尼 I can't take the job, Barney.
我不想再那么生活了 I'm done with that life.
你不恨我吧 No hard feelings?
當然不了 Of course not.
那就好 All right.
-你好 莫斯比教授 -你好 瑞秋 - Hey, Professor Mosby. - Hey, Rachel.
我以為這事就到此為止了 And I thought that was the end of the story.
但是那天晚上 But then that night...
我跟你們講 I'm telling you,
沒有一個建筑師會在 no architect would ever design
死星核心反應區建一個暴露在外面的巨型通風口 a giant exposed vent right over a Death Star's core reactor.
這是太空建筑基本常識 That's Space Architecture 101.
肯定是承包商的問題 It had to be the contractor.
巴尼 挺我 Barney, back me up.
巴尼 Barney.
老兄 這對我很重要 Dude, this is important.
我要再來一杯 I need another drink.
馬修 你要什么嗎 Marshall, you want anything?
我不用 Uh, no, I'm fine.
我知道他因為我的回絕而生氣 Okay, I get that he's mad at me for turning down the job,
但是無視我的存在 這太夸張了吧 but acting like I'm not even here?
等等 你拒絕了那個工作嗎 什么時候 Wait, you turned down the job? When?
今天早上 This morning.
真奇怪 That's so weird.
一個小時以前 我們正要下班 Just, like, an hour ago, when we were leaving work...
你堅信泰德會接這個工作嗎 So, uh, you still think Ted's gonna take the job?
拜托 Please.
我會讓他同意的 I'll get the yes.
巴尼·斯丁森總能贏得美人歸 Barney Stinson always gets the yes.
是我想錯了 還是這就是 Am I wrong or is that exactly what Barney says
巴尼準備展開泡妞攻勢時說的話啊 when he's putting the moves on a girl?
一字不差 我是說 這好像 Exactly. I mean, it's almost like
他準備對你展開攻勢 he's putting the moves on you.
錯 恰恰相反 Yeah, more like the opposite.
他整晚都在無視我 He's been ignoring me all night.
我懂了 Oh.
巴尼太想要我接這個活了 Barney wants me to take the job so bad
以至于要對我耍這種泡妞小招式 he's putting the moves on me?
我希望他這次栽了 I hope that's his end game.
事實上 我又不希望了 Actually, I don't.
我覺得你們倆挺配的 I like you two together.
我才不要 I don't buy it.
即使對巴尼來說 也太扯了 That's crazy, even for Barney.
好吧 好好想想 Okay, well, think about it.
我們都見識過無數次他的攻勢 We've seen his moves countless times.
他無視完一個美眉以后 下一步會干嘛 What does he do after he's done ignoring a girl?
克麗絲 我喜歡你的眼鏡 Chrissy, I love your glasses.
真的嗎 Really?
它讓人在聊天的過程中 They totally pull focus up
完全把注意力轉移 從而無視談話內容 from that whole chin situation you got going on.
敬克麗絲 To Chrissy.
挖苦式的贊美 The backhanded compliment
減低她的自信 這招從沒失手過 to lower her self-esteem-- a proven winner.
但是巴尼從來沒 But Barney hasn't done...
泰德 我欣賞你的始終如一 Ted, I admire your loyalty.
你一直都是這個一成不變的發型 You've had that hairstyle forever.
你不會在乎它是不是過時 You don't care that it's out of fashion
是不是被蕾絲邊團體吸納為新流行指標 or that it's been co-opted by the lesbian community.
你堅持自己的時尚 You stick with it.
敬泰德 To Ted.
你好啊 莉莉 Hey, Lily.
別這么叫我 Don't "Hey, Lily" me.
我從走廊上一路都嗅能到便便的味道 I smelled poop all the way from the hallway.
不是吧 你又知道 Oh, no, not this again.
感情大便還沒沖走吧 羅賓 Where's the poop, Robin?
好吧 我又給唐留了條消息 Okay, I left Don another message.
最新消息 "This just in"
我拿刀捅你的時候 is what I'm gonna say
就會這么說 when I'm stabbing you.
不可能 But that's impossible.
你已經把他的號碼刪了 You deleted his number.
我也想 I tried to.
但是手機提示說 But then this thing popped up
你確定刪除嗎 on my phone that said, "Are you sure?"
而我當時并不確定 And I wasn't sure.
我怎么能對我的手機撒謊 I can't lie to my phone.
親愛的 我完全理解 Oh, sweetie, I totally understand.
給姐刪了 Delete it!
這沒那么容易的事 好不好 It's not that easy, okay?
這不僅僅是刪除個號碼那么簡單 You're not just deleting a number,
你是在刪除你人生的一部分 you're deleting a part of your life.
所有這些回憶 You know, all those
所有這些經歷 memories, all those experiences.
刪了它們就等于永遠消失了 It's like you're admitting they're gone forever.
我了解 親愛的 I know, sweetie.
我能了解 I know.
給姐刪了 Delete it!
那這樣 如果像你說的那么簡單 Okay, if it's that easy,
我就刪一個你手機上的號碼 I'm gonna delete one of your numbers from your phone,
看你什么感覺 see how you like it.
隨你便 My "plezh."
如果你在里面找到一個 If you can find a number in there
我不常用的號碼 我會很高興的刪掉它 that I don't call regularly, I'll gladly delete it.
超級神踢空手道管 Super Kicks Karate.
別 別刪那個 No, not that one.
那是我道館的電話 That's my dojo.
你還去道館了啊 You have a dojo?
我上了一節空手道入門課 I took an introductory karate class.
哎呀 走錯房間了 Oops, wrong room.
大人們上的真正的空手道課在哪個教室 Where do the grown-ups go for the real karate class?
有什么問題嗎 女士 What's the matter, lady?
你怕了嗎 You scared?
怕你們嗎 拜托 Of you? Please.
我可是個幼兒園老師 I'm a kindergarten teacher.
我最討厭幼兒園了 I hated kindergarten.
老子一共上了三次 All three times.
但我肯定會再去上課的 But I'm totally gonna sign up for more lessons.
你多久前才開始上這課的 How long ago did you take that class?
我也不記得了 I don't know.
那段時間好像 It was around the time
每一個人都會問我 "服不~~~~~~" when everyone was going, "Wassuuuuuuup!"
這個你怎么又會記得呢 How do you even remember that?
服不~~~~~~ Wassuuuuuup...!
莉莉 你可能永遠都不會再打這個號碼 Lily, this is a number that you will never dial again.
-我會打的 -你不會 - I might. - No, no.
但是你還存著這個號 But you keep it in your phone
是因為它會讓你產生錯覺 because it reminds you of a version of yourself
讓你覺得你可以做到 而實際上是 that you could be, even if it's a version of yourself
你永遠也做不到 that you'll never become.
所以不一定要刪除 And that's okay.
不 一定要刪 No, it's not.
你看好了 Okay, you know what?
姐刪了 There, gone.
到你了 施巴斯基 Your move, Scherbatsky.
我終于知道你們女人的難處了 I finally know what your kind goes through.
現在我深有體會 I get it now.
再說最后一遍 我不在乎尺寸的大小 For the last time, I don't care how big it was,
這跟生孩子不一樣 it is not the same as giving birth.
說啥呢 不是這樣的 Ew. No.
巴尼對泰德展開攻勢呢 Barney's been "putting the moves" on Ted.
真惡心 Oh, that sucks.
不過我覺得你們挺配的 Although I like you two together.
不是 他這么做是想讓泰德 No, he's been doing it to try to get Ted to design
設計巨人國家銀行的新大樓 the new GNB Tower.
你們說的是哪種攻勢 Which moves are we talking about?
是以抱怨的形式 Did he do the thing where he brags on himself
來吹噓自己嗎 in the form of a complaint?
真受不了 每次哥一拿出名片 Man, every time I take out my business card
那些女人一看見巨人銀行的標志 就瘋狂往上撲 and women see the GNB logo, they throw themselves at me.
我真懷念得花心思泡馬子的時候 I miss the chase.
太可惡了 It sucks!
真受不了 哥利亞銀行的高層職員 Man, the courtside Knicks seats
在尼克斯隊的場邊席上有專座 that are available to all upper level GNB employees
離球場死近死近的 are too close to the action.
球員的汗都灑哥西裝上了 I keep getting sweat on my suit.
太可惡了 It sucks!
真受不了 Man,
巨人國家銀行福利待遇太全面了 GNB's benefits package is so comprehensive
居然醫生可以讓哥隨便挑著看 it gives me the freedom to see any doctor I want.
太可惡了 It sucks!
的確是這樣 He did.
那也包括熱切的眼神交流咯 And the intense eye contact thing?
那么 泰德 So, Ted,
你愿意跟我一起分享炸芝士青椒嗎 would you like to split some jalapeno poppers?
好 好吧 Uh, okay.
的確 Yep.
而且他還會通過身體接觸 And the thing where he establishs intimacy
來建立親密感 through physical contact?
你們知道為什么炸芝士青椒這么好吃嗎 You know why jalapeno poppers are so good?
因為用的是奶油芝士 It's the cream cheese.
說得太對了 That is so true.
是啊 Yeah...
奶油芝士口感溫和 Cream cheese has a mild flav-flavor
所以它 它能中和辣椒 so it... it balances out the spiciness of the jal...
辣椒中的 the spiciness of the...
伙計 你摸夠沒 Dude!
那么他這么對你的時候 So at any point in this
你有沒有勇敢地對他說 巴尼 did you say, "Barney, I know what you're doing,
你這么做是沒用的 "and it's not going to work.
我是不會接受這份工作的 I am not taking that job"?
呃 我好像沒有確切地表明 Well, I mean, not exactly in those...
看來你很享受他的追求嘛 You're loving this.
才沒有 No.
你就是 You are.
你很享受這份殷勤 You're loving the attention.
被人需要的感覺是挺不錯的 不是嗎 It's nice to be wanted, okay?
是的 這件毛衣背心是新買的 多謝大家關注 And, yes, this is a new vest. Thank you all for noticing.
也對 你們看得出來才怪 Oh, that's right, you didn't.
但巴尼看出來了 Barney did!
哦 泰迪小寶貝 Oh, Teddy,
你的心已經徹底被占領了 you are so going to spread your legs
就乖乖地就范 設計大樓吧 and design that building.
我才不是那種隨便的建筑師 I am not that kind of architect.
聽好了 羅賓永遠不會刪掉唐的電話號碼 So get this-- Robin never deleted Don's number.
說啥呢 Wait...
切 Boo!
怎么每個人都覺得這是件容易的事 Oh, everyone thinks it's so easy.
把手機給我 Give me your phone.
我刪掉一個你的 試試看 Let's delete one of yours.
好啊 Uh, okay.
沒關系 No problem.
如果你能找到一個我不需要的號碼 If you can find a number that I don't need
或是一個不應該留著的號碼 隨便刪 or shouldn't have in here, be my guest,
祝你好運 but good luck.
我的電話簿可是管理有序 I keep my phone tight.
-愛德文 -這個不能刪 - Edwin. - Oh, no, not that one.
這可是我預定樂隊演奏地點的登記人 That's the booker for the club that my band plays at.
我組建的那支全律師瘋克樂隊 你們還記得吧 You know, my all-lawyer funk band-- you remember--
瘋克爵士樂 純瘋克絕對的純瘋克 The Funk, the Whole Funk and Nothing but the Funk.
你的證人撒謊 所以你官司輸了* * Your witness lied so your case is sunk, hah!
我宣判 你這輩子獻身于音樂了* * I sentence you to a life of funk
律師們 你們的辯詞是什么* * Counselors, how do you plead
我愛瘋克* * Funky.
繼續 Kick it.
你們只表演過一場 而且還是四年前 You guys played one gig four years ago.
我要刪了這個號 I'm deleting it.
別 別刪 我們還打算再加演一場呢 No, no, we're gonna-- we're gonna play another gig again.
沒準很快就開始 Probably really soon.
只是我們現在都忙 而且 It's just we all got super busy, and...
我們不會再加演了 是吧 We're not going to play another gig again, are we?
很可能是這樣的 寶貝 Probably not, baby.
知道了吧 按刪除鍵其實很難的 See, it's hard to hit that delete button, isn't it?
只是我手機沒有這個號碼 Well, it's just that without that number in my phone,
我就是一個平庸的公司律師 I'm just a corporate lawyer
一周工作60個小時 毫無激情可言 working 60 very un-funky hours a week.
抱歉 馬修 Sorry, Marshall.
但如果我必須得這么做 你也一樣 But if I have to, you have to.
好了 輪到你了 Okay. Your turn.
巴尼 我有話要跟你說 Barney, I gotta tell you something.
我突然想起件事 Oh, that reminds me.
我給你買了架小飛機 I got you a little airplane.
這代表勇于冒險的精神 It represents the spirit of adventure.
你喜歡嗎 泰德 Do you like it, Ted?
喜歡嗎 Do you?
夠了 Stop it.
別這么看著我 Stop looking at me
好像我是世界上最重要的人 like I'm the only person in the world who matters.
我不會設計巨人國家銀行大樓的 I'm not designing the GNB Tower.
我知道 Yeah, I know.
你拒絕了 You turned it down.
我們已經請別人了 We hired someone else.
你相信嗎 Can you believe it?
他居然開始采用最老套的攻勢 He's resorting to the oldest move in the book.
那套經典的"表面上假裝取消 The classic, "pretend to take the offer off the table
實際上是想讓我有強烈的欲望"策略 so I'll want it more."
這也太明顯了 對吧 It's so obvious, right?
好像故意讓我后悔地說 As if that's going to make me be like,
天啊 我真不應該拒絕這機會 "Oh, God, I never should have said no."
這不是攻勢 伙計 It's not a move, dude.
今天早上 我還幫忙辦理新建筑師的手續呢 I executed the paperwork for the new architect this morning.
巴尼說的是真話 Barney wasn't lying.
天啊 我真不應該拒絕這機會 Oh, God, I never should have said no!
得了吧 巨人銀行不可能去找另外的建筑師 Come on, GNB didn't really hire a new architect.
這肯定又是巴尼攻勢中其中一招 This is just one of Barney's moves.
這不是什么招式 伙計 It's not a move, dude.
主要合作伙伴都開始不耐煩了 The senior partners were getting impatient.
你不是根本就不想要那份工作嗎 I thought you didn't even want the job.
是不想要 I didn't.
不想要 不想要 I don't. I don't!
真的不想要 I don't.
行 我接受了 Okay, I'll do it.
什么 泰德 現在晚了 What? Ted, it's too late.
你只要答應讓我做 I'll design it for half
我只收他一半工資 of what you're paying the other architect.
而且他們不用做的我都能做 And you know I will do stuff they would never do.
附贈門廊設計哦 Lobby stuff.
半價 Wow, half?
泰德 Ted,
我代表巨人國家銀行 on behalf of Goliath National Bank...
我承認 這是攻勢的一種 Okay, it's a move.
-什么 -兄臺 - What? - Dude!
他們根本就沒請其他人 There is no other architect.
對不起 對不起 我騙了你 I'm sorry, I'm sorry I lied.
我幫著巴尼一起忽悠你 I was being Barney's wingman,
因為我從來沒機會成為過他的小幫手 and I never get to be the wingman.
你們倆混小子騙我 You guys lied to me?
你是人類史上最爛的小幫手 You're the world's worst wingman.
聽著 我要走了 You know what? I'm out of here.
我下次會好好做的 別拋棄我 I can do better. Take me back.
我他媽真二啊 You son of a bitch!
我不想跟對我撒謊的人合作 Look, I can't do business with people who lie to me.
我們撒謊的目的 是為了讓你認清自己想要這份工作 We only lied to you to make you realize that you want this job.
我不想要 No, I don't.
我剛才確實說了 I mean, I know I said I did,
但我只是被你騙到了 but that's only because I fell for the same
你用這種稀奇古怪的手段 creepy, pickup artist voodoo of yours
騙到了無數女人 that countless women...
236個 236.
而我也上當了 ...before me fell for.
哇 真行啊 Wow, respect.
泰德 其實你是真心想要這份工作 No-- Ted... you want to do this, okay?
你只是害怕再次受傷 You're just scared of getting hurt again.
但你不能讓恐懼吸走你的藝術精華 But you can't let fear steal your funk.
太帥了 這話絕對要寫進歌詞 That is good. There is a song in there.
不好意思 Excuse me.
泰德 Come on, Ted.
這是你的夢想 This is your dream.
不 已經不是了 知道為什么嗎 No, it's not. Not anymore. And you know what?
放棄這份夢想是無比正確的 Letting go of that dream was the best decision I ever made.
難道你們真的認為 You guys actually think
我到現在還放不下成為一名建筑師的渴望嗎 I have some lingering itch to be an architect?
沒日沒夜工作 Work 20 hours a day and weekends?
加班到吐血 頭發全掉光 還不斷自我懷疑 To get ulcers and pull my hair out and worry and doubt myself
然后更悲慘的是 and then at the end of it all,
到頭來還是摔個狗啃泥 一事無成 have the rug pulled out from under me?
教書我很開心 I love being a professor, okay?
他們一直說的那些 All that stupid crap they tell you
教書的樂趣之類的狗屁話 about how fulfilling teaching is?
確實是真的 It's all true.
我不想放棄現在的快樂 I'm happy, and I'm not letting go of that.
我不要這份工作 My answer's no.
你們好啊 Hey, guys.
你的感情大便還沒沖走吧 羅賓 Where's the poop, Robin?
你怎么知道的 How do you do that?
你簡直就是一個炸彈警犬 但擅長聞便便 You are like a bomb-sniffing dog, except with poop.
便便警犬 You are a poop-sniffing dog.
好像一般狗狗都有這個技能吧 I think that's just called a dog.
那便便在哪 羅賓 Where's the poop, Robin?
好吧 我又給唐打電話了 Fine. I called Don again.
唐 又是我 羅賓 Hey, Don. It's Robin again.
之前給你打的電話真是抱歉 Uh, look, I am sorry for all the calls.
我看到你上電視 It's just, I saw you on the news,
確實心里難受了一下 and it made me a little crazy for a minute.
看來我還是低估了分手對我造成的影響 I guess I wasn't as over our breakup as I thought.
我想對你說的是 Um, but I want to say,
我打心底里 from the bottom of my heart,
想把你宰了 I am going to kill you.
哦不 不對 No... No, I'm not.
我為你高興 I am happy for you.
你臉譜網里的那個亞洲婊子 And that Asian slut on your Facebook page.
她也得死 She's dead, too.
你不是把號碼刪了嗎 I thought you deleted his number.
沒錯 但我已經記住他的號碼了 I did, but it turns out, I memorized it.
腦子里的電話本是刪不掉的 莉莉 You can't delete contacts from your brain, Lily.
你必須要忘記 Well, you have to try.
如果你想告別這段感情 If you ever want to have closure...
根本不可能告別 I am never going to have closure.
告別這種東西根本不存在 Okay? Closure doesn't exist.
就好像昨天唐才搬進來和我住 Okay, one day, Don and I are moving in together,
突然今天 and the next thing I know,
他就飛去芝加哥了 he's on a plane to Chicago.
就這么結束了 It just... ended.
無論我怎么努力想忘記 And no matter how much I try to forget that it happened,
事實就是事實 it will have never not happened.
我和唐之間永遠沒有善終 Don and I will always be a loose end.
我們的感情就會維持在 We'll always be...
未完狀態 Unfinished.
高迪他從來都沒有放棄自己的夢想 Gaudi, to his credit, never gave up on his dream,
但事情不是一般都能如愿的 but that's not usually how it goes.
我的意思是 如果你要造一座棕色尖尖的詭異教堂 I mean, usually, it isn't a speeding bus
一般來說 一輛急駛的公車是阻擋不了你的 that keeps the brown, pointy, weird church from getting built.
多數情況下 失敗的原因在于太困難 Most of the time, it's just too difficult
太昂貴 或者太恐懼 or too expensive, or too scary.
只有當你停止了夢想的追逐 It's only once you've stopped
才能體會到 想再次燃起熱情有多么困難 that you realize how hard it is to start again.
然后你就會強迫自己放棄夢想 So you force yourself not to want it.
但夢想的力量超乎想像 But it's always there.
你永遠會想著它 直到達成 And until you finish it, it will always be...
-巴尼 -瑞秋 - Hey, Barney. - Hey, Rachel.
瑞秋 你怎么沒上課 Rachel, why aren't you in class?
你怎么沒上課 Why aren't you in class?
是啊 泰德 你干嘛沒上課 Yeah, Ted. Why aren't you in class?
你這個王八蛋 You son of a bitch.
我打電話給馬修 I'll call Marshall.
我們草擬一份合同 We'll draw up the contract.
先別急 Not so fast.
我沒這么容易得手 I'm not that easy.
巴尼被迫放棄了他的重要準則之一 And so I made Barney break his golden rule.
在我徹底屈服之前 I made him take me out to dinner
他帶我去了晚餐 before I finally gave him the thing he always got.
好的 Yes.
雖然過程有點曲折 And even though it didn't happen right away...
接下來 由唐·弗蘭克為您帶來11點整點新聞 And now, the 11:00 News with Don Frank.
你好(西語) Bueno?
你誰啊 Um, who is this?
我不會英語(西語) No hablo ingles.
你是誰(西語) Quien es?
不好意思 你這里是不是917-456 I'm sorry. Is this 917-456...
不好意思 是465 I'm sorry, uh, 465...
不對 No, wait.
羅賓的告別時刻終于來了 Robin finally got some closure, too.
不好意思 打錯了 Sorry. Wrong number.
終于過去了 Finished with that.
混蛋 Hey, punk.
給你點忠告 Bit of advice.
下次你把一個幼兒園老師的脖子踩在腳下時 Next time you step on a kindergarten teacher's neck,
最好別松開 you better finish the job.
這一天終于到來了 I knew this day would come.