(voice-mail) Hi, you've reached the office of Dr. Stuart Price.
您好，斯图亚特·普莱斯医生诊所
Please note the office will be closed until the 24th.
诊所将停业至本月24日，敬请留意
If this is an emergency, please try...
如果病情紧急，请…
(voice-mail) Hi! This is Dr. Stu Price. I'm getting married.
嗨！我是斯图亚特·普莱斯医生，我要结婚了
So I'll be out of the country for 2 weeks.
所以我要出国两周
I'm not sure if I'll have cell service.
我不确定到时手机有没有信号
If this is a dental emergency...
如果有牙科急症…
Nothing.
没人接
(speaking in Thai)
(泰语)
Daddy, please! You're not helping!
爸，别再抱怨了，有用吗？！
I looked into his eyes. Not the eyes of a man.
我看着斯图的眼睛 他一点儿也不像个男人
The eyes of a coward.
他就是个懦夫
(speaking in Thai again)
(泰语)
Excuse me!
不好意思！
- Bill! - Tracy!
- 菲尔 - 特蕾西！
- I'm sorry! - Where the hell are you?
- 对不起！ - 你们他妈的死哪儿去了?
It happened again!
我们又喝高了！
Don't say that, please!
别吓我！
No this time we really fucked up.
不，这次我们真的搞砸了
Seriously! What is wrong with you three?
说真格的，你们几个是不是脑子进水了？
So much Trace, I don't even know where to begin.
对不起，特蕾西，我不知从何说起
Oh god! How bad?
天哪！到底有多糟糕？
- Like, no wedding bad? - Yeah...
- 难道，要取消婚礼？ - 差不多…
a little worse than that.
可能更糟一些
THE HANGOVER PART II
片 名 : 宿 醉 2
ONE WEEK EARLIER
一周前
Uh, huh.
嗯哼
You really need to floss more.
你真得多用用牙线了
Fuck that! That's why I come here.
去你的，我要是愿意用牙线还跑你这儿干嘛
Then you should come more than once every two years!
那你来勤点啊，两年一次也忒儿少了
Why? So you can bleed me of all my money?
干嘛？你想榨光我的钱啊
I never charge you a dime, Phil!
菲尔，我从你那儿一个子儿也没收过
- Hey, how do I work the nitrous? - Ah, you don't actually.
- 嘿，你这麻醉的玩意怎么用？ - 呃，别乱碰
Come on! Just one hit!
拜托，就试一下！
Fillings look pretty good. Any other problems?
你的补牙正常 还哪儿有问题？
Yeah, actually. You're getting married in Thailand.
有问题，你非要到泰国结婚
For starters, that's flights for me and Steph. That's two grand right there.
首先，我们得坐飞机 光路费，就得2000美元
Then my mother in laws watching the kids.
孩子得我岳母看着
So now she's got this whole new thing over my head.
我心里怕怕的
Plus, takes five days to get there.
再说了，光路上就需要5天时间
It's a 16 hour flight. And it's beautiful when you get there.
你就扯吧，是16个小时 再说那地方挺美的
- Whatever, it's a hassle! - It is kinda far.
- 有够麻烦的 - 是有点远
Lauren's been there a week and she's still jet lagged.
劳拉用了一周也没倒过时差来
But it's where her parents are from and it means a lot to them.
但那是她父母的故乡，这对他们很重要
Who gives a shit about her parents! Her dad hates you!
谁他妈的管她父母！ 何况他爸那么烦你
He doesn't hate me! He's just never spoken to me...
他不烦我，他只是没跟我说过话…
...I think it's a cultural thing.
…文化差异嘛
Why can't you just get married
你干嘛不能像上次一样
in Vegas like you did the last time. It's so much easier.
在拉斯维加斯结婚，麻烦少多了
Why can't you just be excited for me?
你干嘛就不能替我高兴呢？
This is my wedding!
我要结婚了！
- You're really happy, huh? - I really am.
- 你很高兴，是吗？ - 当然
Alright...
好吧…
...I'm happy too.
…我也替你高兴
- Thank you! - Gonna be fun.
- 谢谢！ - 应该挺有趣的
Phil. Put the prescription pad back.
菲尔，把处方本还给我
- Thank you. You know that's a felony right? - Fuck you, man!
- 谢了，你知道这是犯罪，嗯？ - 滚犊子
- Was this right up against your scrotum? - Yep.
- 你是不是把它放你裤裆里了？ - 是
- Oh my god, I just realized. - What?
- 噢，老天，我刚发现 - 什么?
- I forgot to renew my passport! - Oh no...
- 我忘了更新我的护照了 - 哦，不…
Good thing I did it last week. It's in the kitchen drawer.
好消息是，我上周已经帮你更新了 就放在厨房的抽屉里
- You're the best! - Hey! We're a team!
- 你真好！ - 嘿！谁让咱俩是两口子呢
You're a good guy. Like a really good guy!
你是个好人，一个纯粹的好人！
Thank you!
谢谢
- So I know you're not gonna get mad. - Mad? What, mad at what?
- 所以，我求你件事，你别生气啊 - 生气？是什么事？
Alan found out that we're going to Thailand for Stu's wedding.
艾伦知道我们要去泰国 参加斯图的婚礼了
- So? - So he's heart broken Doug. You guys are like his family!
- 然后? - 他伤透心了，你们几个就像他的家人一样
No. Your family is like his family.
不，不，你家人才是他的家人
All Alan talks about is the three of you.
艾伦每天嘴里都是你们三个
- And that weekend. - Wait a second...
- 还有维加斯的那个周末 - 等等…
Is he the one who keeps calling and hanging up?
是不是他给我电话 打了又挂，挂了又打，不说话
He does that when he's upset.
他难过的时候会这么做
He doesn't understand why he's not invited.
他不明白为什么斯图没请他
Could you just run it by Stu? Just run it by him.
你能跟斯图说说吗？就当为了我
For me...
行不…
No fucking way! Absolutely not!
死都不行，绝对不行
Come on Stu, it's killing him.
拜托，斯图，艾伦很想去
Honestly, the two of you were barely invited.
说实话，你们俩我都不想请
I get it. I really do. It's just, you know what...
我理解，真的 但是，你要知道
Alan considers you to be one of his best friends.
艾伦把你当他最好的朋友之一
I consider Alan to be insane.
我把艾伦当疯子
Stu, throw him a bone!
斯图，你就让他去吧！
We've already said he's got to pay for everything he eats and everything he breaks.
说好了他捅了篓子由他赔
You know what. We should see if we can squeeze the old man to cover the bachelor party.
我们想法让你未来岳父掏钱搞单身汉派对
- That's good. - I'm glad you brought that up.
- 这主意不错 - 我很高兴你提起这事儿
- Because... this is the bachelor party! - What?
- 因为，这顿饭就是我的单身派对 - 什么？
- What are you talking about? - Yeah, it's my bachelor brunch!
- 你说什么? - 是的，这就是我单身早午餐派对！
Go crazy. Get some chocolate chip pancakes...
伙计们，放开点儿，多来点儿碎巧克力煎饼…
a lap dance from the waitress...
再让服务员来个膝舞…
That's bullshit! You can't just skip out of a bachelor party, Stu.
纯属扯淡！斯图 你不能连单身派对都不搞
You see that? That's orange juice with a napkin on top.
看见没，我在橘子汁上盖了纸巾
Do you know why? So nobody roofies me.
知道为什么吗？就是为了防止有人给我下药
Why I refuse to eat fucking cantaloupe at a bachelor party?
我怎么会拒绝在单身派对上吃香瓜呢？
- C'mon Stu. Don't you think you're over reacting? - No, I don't.
- 斯图，你是不是有点反应过度？ - 不，没有
I'm still putting the pieces of my broken psyche back together.
拉斯维加斯那次，我还没缓过来呢
And you know what the glue is? Lauren!
是劳拉的出现才让我逐渐恢复过来
I'm not doing anything to screw that up.
为了劳拉，我不能再搞砸了
Oh, please. You wouldn't even be with her if it wasn't for us.
切，要不是因为我们 你能和劳拉在一起嘛
Oh, this'll be good.
那又怎么样
Stu, think about it!
斯图，仔细想想吧
You ended up ditching Melissa, and two years later you met your true soul mate.
因此你才甩了梅丽莎, 两年后，遇到你的真命天女
You take Vegas out of that equation, you would have married a cunt.
如果不是因为拉斯维加斯那次 你就跟那个婊子结婚了
Oh that's ok. I'm allowed to say it. It's a bachelor party.
别大惊小怪的，这是个单身派对
Drink up everybody.
干杯，各位
Oh wait, there's no alcohol! I forgot we're at a fuckin IHOP!
噢，等等，我忘了这儿没有酒！因为这是他妈的茶餐厅！
Well it's my decision and it's final, so...how bout a toast?
不管怎样，这是我的最终决定 所以…说句祝词吧？
This sucks. I'm gonna wait in the car.
滚犊子的，我走了
- C'mon Phil, where you going? - Doug, Doug, I just don't get it!
- 拜托，菲尔，你去哪儿？ - 道格，我真是不知道他怎么想的
He's getting married in Thailand! That's great for him, but what about us?
他要去泰国结婚，好极了！ 他考虑过我们吗？
You're selfish! Come on, sweetheart...
你太自私了，我们走，宝贝…
Shame on you!
我都替你害臊！
Don't worry Stu. I will stand up for you no matter what.
别担心，斯图，你的决定我支持
Thank you.
谢谢
But you gotta help me out with this Alan thing.
求你让艾伦参加你的婚礼吧
Guys, I can't tell you how much this means...
伙计们，你们能来，我真高兴…
Alan's been waiting for the invite ever since he got word of the wedding.
自从听说婚礼这事儿，艾伦一直在等着
- I'm sure he has. - Yeah.
- 我相信 - 是啊
Been standing outside by the mailbox every day.
他整日整日地站在邮箱旁边
- Well that's tough. - Yeah.
- 难为他了 - 是啊
I uh, I'm not sure he ever left Vegas.
我想他对上次维加斯之行还念念不忘
He really needs this.
参加婚礼对他很重要
What?
什么事?
Sweetie, papa! You have visitors! Go in slowly.
宝贝，是我，爸爸！ 斯图他们来了！慢慢走进去
Give him a chance to acclimate.
给他点儿时间去适应
- Hey, Alan! - Hey, guys! Hey, Phil!
- 嘿，艾伦！ - 嘿，伙计们！嘿，菲尔！
Hey, bud!
嘿，伙计！
- You guys wanna come in? - Sure. Absolutely.
- 你们要进来吗? - 好，当然
- Hey. - Hey.
- 嘿 - 嘿
- Hey, Stu! - Ok. See you on the court in half...
- 嘿，斯图 - 好啦，那我们中场休息时再见…
- Pretty cool room, Alan! - Thanks, Phil! My dad pays my rent.
- 艾伦，你的房间很有品嘛！ - 谢谢，菲尔！我老爸帮我付房租
Alan, what the fuck! You were supposed to delete these!
艾伦，搞什么！你怎么能留着这些照片
You made a promise!
你发过誓要删掉的！
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
哇哦，哇哦！
What the hell? I'm not cool with this at all. You can't have these.
见鬼的？这让我很不爽 你不能留着这些照片
Relax, Stu! Nobody ever comes in here.
放轻松，斯图！不会有人来我这儿的
A total violation of trust!
你践踏了我对你的信任！
Mother I'm done with my lunch. It's just sitting here!
妈，午餐我不吃了，你来拿走！
I'm sorry, honey. I'll be right up.
对不起，宝贝，我马上来
I can't believe you guys stopped by. This is really cool.
真不敢相信，你们来看我，棒极了
Wait a second!
等等！
- Al, is that Mr. Chow? - Yeah. We still keep in touch.
- 艾伦，这个是周先生? - 是啊，我们还有联系呢
Stu!
斯图，看
Chow, the guy that kidnapped us?
周，那个绑架我们的周？
He didn't kidnap us. He kidnapped Black Doug.
他没绑架我们，他绑架了黑人道格
Remember? It was a whole big misunderstanding.
想起来没？那只不过是个误会
He's actually quite charming.
他挺不错的
- Alan, he's a criminal. - Excuse me, boys!
- 艾伦，他是个罪犯 - 抱歉打扰你们！
- Hi, Linda! - Hi, Dougie!
- 嗨，琳达！ - 嗨，道格！
I guess we don't do desert anymore. I didn't get that memo.
我是不是不能吃甜点了 怎么我没接到通知
I'm sorry, darling. I'll be right back.
对不起，宝贝，我马上去拿
Would a cupcake kill you?
拿个蛋糕你能死啊？
You know, I don't think this was a good idea.
我觉得，这真不是个好主意
Alan, we have a little surprise for you.
艾伦，我们有个惊喜带给你
Stu would like to invite you to his wedding.
斯图想邀请你参加他的婚礼
- Well only if you're not busy. - Stu!
- 当然，如果你有事儿就算了 - 斯图！
Well maybe the Jonas Brothers are in town.
也许乔纳斯兄弟巡演到这里呢
Nope. They're in Raleigh-Durham that weekend.
不，那个周末恰好他们在罗利 （北卡罗那州首府）
Are you really being serious, Stu? You're inviting me?
你真愿意让我去，斯图？ 真的吗？
Yeah why not? It's gonna be fun, right?
是，干嘛不呢？应该挺有趣的，是吧？
- Phil, are you going? - Of course!
- 菲尔，你去吗? - 当然了！
Then it will be fun.
那我们全体归队了
What the fuck are you doing, man?
你疯了吗？
It's my immunizations. It's the last day I can do it.
这是我的疫苗，最后一支
That's supposed to be done by a registered nurse.
这必须由有执照的护士来做
I'm a nurse. Just not registered.
我是护士，无照而已
Stu, look at this! I bought this cause I thought of you!
斯图，看这个！ 因为你我才买的！
- Hey, there he is! - Hey, Stu!
- 嘿，他在那儿！ - 嘿，斯图！
- Teddy! What's up? How are ya? - Hey Stu.
- 泰迪，怎么样？最近好吗？ - 挺好
- Alright. Who's this guy, Stu? - This is Teddy. Lauren's little brother.
- 喂，他是谁，斯图？ - 这位是泰迪，劳拉的弟弟
Goes to Stanford. Pre-med. This is Phil, Alan and Doug.
斯坦福大学的，医学预科 这是菲尔，艾伦和道格
Hey, nice to meet you, man!
嘿，很高兴认识你
Wow, Stanford? How old are you?
哇哦，斯坦福？你多大？
- He's 17. Kind of a genius. - Actually, I'm 16.
- 17，天才儿童 - 其实是16
I'm not a genius. My dad just had me take the entrance exams early.
我不是天才，只是我老爸 让我参加入学考试比较早而已
Because you're a genius.
因为你是天才嘛
- So what are you, a doctor? - No, not yet. I'm premed.
- 那你现在已经是医生了？ - 不，还不是，预科而已
- Ever heard of that guy Doogie Howser? - Yeah.
- 你听说过《天才小医生》吗？（美剧） - 嗯
- Well, he turned out to be a gay. - Alan.
- 原来他是个“同志” - 艾伦
It's true, I read it in Teen People.
是真的，我在青少年杂志上读到的
Right, ok... well I'm gonna grab a book or something for the plane.
好了…我要去买本书之类的
You guys want anything?
你们需要什么吗？
- No, thanks. I'm good. - I would actually love a small water.
- 不，谢谢 - 能帮我带一小瓶水吗？
Cool.
没问题
What's the matter with you. He's 16 years old.
你发什么疯，他才16岁而已
Yeah, Alan. Take it easy!
就是，艾伦，你正常点
I'm a little confused. Is he here just to see us off or what. How does this work?
我不太明白，他是送了我们就离开还是怎样？
- How does what work? - Is that person coming to the wedding?
- 什么怎样？ - 他要跟我们一起去参加婚礼？
Yes Alan. My brides little brother is coming to the wedding. Is that ok with you?
是的，我新娘的弟弟去参加婚礼你有问题吗？
Well, it's the first time I've heard of it. You could have paged me.
有，你就不能提前告诉我一下嘛
Don't over react. It's gonna be fine.
别大惊小怪，没事的
- Hey. Mind if I sit? - Wolf pack only. Find another chair.
- 嘿，我能坐这儿吗？ - 只有狼群能坐，你找其他位置吧
- There's no wolfpack, Alan. C'mon. - It's no problem. I'll find...
- 什么狼群，艾伦，别闹了 - 没关系，我找其他…
Teddy, don't be ridiculous! You're sitting here!
泰迪，别听他的，你就坐这里
Careful, that's a Louis...
小心点，这是我的…
That is a Louis Vuitton!
LV包！
- That's a nice neck roll! - Thanks! You can use it if you want.
- 这个颈枕不错！ - 谢谢！你要用可以借你
Ok.
好
Baby!
宝贝！
This is so absolutely beautiful! Thank you much!
这里真是布置得太好了！谢谢您！
Of course.
当然
Between Teddy and me, you must be pretty excited.
你一定挺高兴的
Pretty soon you'll have 2 doctors in the family.
不久你家里就有2个医生了
You have to realize that in my country
你得知道，在我的国家
we don't consider dentists to be real doctors.
看牙的可算不上医生
Dad...
爸…
Ok.
哦
Anyway I have to go and talk to Teddy about his cello performance tonight.
我要去找泰迪了，谈谈今晚他的独奏
Ouch!
哎哟！
I'm so sorry...
对不起…
Your dad's kind of obsessed with your brother, isn't he?
你老爸未免太宠你弟弟了
Teddy is my dad's prize possession. It's always been that way.
泰迪是我老爸最宝贵的财产了 一直这样
He'll warm up, I promise! Okay?
他慢慢会喜欢你的，好吧?
You can just fax it over to me. I'll pick it up at the concierge.
爸爸，你可以发传真到酒店 我到礼宾部去取
Thanks, papa! Bye bye!
谢谢，爸爸！再见！
That was my dad. I'm a stay at home son.
我老爸电话，我是个啃老族
We were discussing your wedding gift. He's sparing no expense.
我们刚才在讨论结婚礼物 他会送份大礼
Oh... That's so unnecessary.
噢…不必那么破费了
I've been meaning to ask someone. I notice this is a fishing village.
我一直在打听，既然这里是个渔村
Is there a Long John Silver's on the island?
那岛上有没有“海滋客”（美国连锁海鲜快餐店）
You know. No, I don't think so. I'm so sorry.
对不起，这里没有
But, we are actually serving some great fresh seafood.
但是，我们这里有非常新鲜的海鲜
- Better than Long John's? - Yes.
- 比“海滋客”还好? - 当然
- I'll be the judge of that. Enjoy your evening. - You too. Ok.
- 我得亲自去评判一下，你们好好享受 - 你也是
All right!
哇哦！
Thank you, Teddy!
谢谢，泰迪！
The hands of a brilliant musician!
才华横溢的音乐家！
And one day, a great surgeon.
未来出色的外科医生
I admit it...
我承认…
When I first met Stu, I was not quite sold.
当我第一次见到斯图，我不太满意
He seemed unattractive. He lacked intelligence and imagination.
他缺乏魅力，智力平庸，没有想像力
He was missing the spark you look for in a man.
他没有男人身上的火花
But then I looked into Stu's eyes.
但是，当我注视他的双眼
It reminded me of my sweet brother, Chai Yo.
他让我想起了我的弟弟，常勇
For those who do not know,
在座的各位也许不知道
Chai Yo is learning the sailboat and lives in a group home.
常勇在学习帆船，住在痴呆老人院
But Chai Yo loves "khao" .
常勇喜欢“Khao”(泰语）
And that's when I realized, Stu is "khao".
我就意识到，斯图就是“Khao”
What is "khao"?
什么是“Khao”？
"Khao" is soft white rice in luke warm water.
“Khao”是一种泡在温水里的软白米
It has no taste.
没有味道
We feed it to small baby and uh, very old people.
我们用它喂婴儿和非常老的老人
It is nourishment that everyone can digest.
谁吃了都能消化
The world needs "khao", just as the world needs people like Stu.
这个世界需要“khao” 就像这个世界需要斯图
To my sweet daughter and Stu! Congratulations!
敬我的宝贝女儿和斯图！恭喜你们！
Cheers!
干杯！
And now I believe that Teddy has something to say.
下面，泰迪你来说几句
Sit down! I got this. Sit down, boy!
你坐下，我来 坐下，听见没！
That was a.. a great speech, sir!
先生，你…你刚才讲得很好
I like the comparison between Stu and rice.
我喜欢你把斯图比做米饭
I've also prepared a few words.
我也有几句话要讲
Hey everybody. Here's some fun facts.
嘿，大家好，给大家讲几个有趣的事实
The population in Thailand is 63 million people.
泰国的人口是6300万
It is twice the size of Wyoming.
是怀俄明州的两倍
It's chief exports are textiles, footwear and rice.
主要出口物是纺织品，鞋子和大米
Each year approximately 13,000 people are killed in car accidents in Thailand.
每年大约有13000人死于车祸
- The climate in Thailand... - Alan!
- 泰国的气候是… - 艾伦！
- Why don't you skip to the last card there, buddy. - Okay. Sorry!
- 你干嘛不直接读最后一张 - 好的！
None of you know Stu like I do.
你们没有人比我更了解斯图
Not you... not you... not you...
不是你…不是你…不是你…
Not nobody knows Stu like I do.
没人比我更了解斯图
No one!
没有人！
I can't even tell you what we've been through cause we made a pact.
我不能告诉你们我跟斯图经历了些什么 因为我们有君子协议
More important than blood.
歃血之盟
What I can tell you is this. This is not Stu's first marriage.
但是我能告诉你们 这不是斯图的头婚
There was a whore in Las Vegas a couple of years ago.
在几年前，有个拉斯维加斯的妓女
Sit down...
你给我坐下…
- Enough! He'll get over it! - Okay. Thanks, Phil!
- 够了！那些都会过去的！ - 好的，谢谢，菲尔！
In your face!
傻脸了吧！
Well that was exactly as painful as I expected it to be.
就料到你爸爸会那样挖苦我
Sorry...
对不起…
- Oh, rice pudding! What are you doing? - HaHa. Very funny!
- 哦，大米布丁！干嘛呢？ - 哈哈，很搞笑吗？！
Be nice, Phil! He's extra sensitive tonight.
乖一点，菲尔！他今晚特别感性
Get over it! He's your father in law. He's supposed to hate you.
有什么呢！你抢走了他女儿 他恨你很正常
Come have a drink with me and the guys.
走，咱们老爷们儿出去喝一杯
You know... I'm really exhausted. We're just gonna go upstairs and crash.
不了…我累了 我们打算上楼休息去了
C'mon, I just spoke with the manager.
别扫兴，我刚求了那个经理
He's gonna let us have a bonfire on the beach.
他允许我们在海滩上生个火
That sounds fun!
听起来不错！
- Nyah... I'm good. - He's tired!
- 嗯…我还是算了 - 人家累了！
Stu, one drink with your friends who came all this way.
斯图，你就去陪他们喝几杯了
- I just wanna hang out with you! - Oh c'mon. Just go! And do me a favor.
- 我只想跟你多待会儿！ - 去吧！带上泰迪
Take Teddy with you. He never gets to have any fun.
就当是帮我的忙 他一直挺闷的
That is a great idea. Bring the kid.
好主意，带上泰迪
- Alright. One drink! - Perfect.
- 好吧，只喝一杯！ - 棒极了
- See you later. - Have fun!
- 再见 - 好好玩！
- You have the key? - Yep, got it right here!
- 你带钥匙了吗? - 带了！
I'll see you in 20 minutes!
我20分钟后就上去！
My uncle Roger said that he once saw an albino polar bear.
我叔叔罗杰告诉我 他见过一只得白化病的北极熊
Really? Polar bears are white. How would he know if it's an albino?
是吗？北极熊本来就是白的 他怎么知道它得白化病了？
This one was black.
那只北极熊原来是黑的
Did you ever think maybe it was just a black bear?
你有没有想过那不是北极熊就是只黑熊？
Whatever...
随便了…
Ok. Here we go. American beer.
来一瓶，美国啤酒
- Sealed bottle! - Thank you. Alright!
- 原装的！ - 谢谢，不错！
- I'm not really old enough to drink. - Yeah, it's illegal.
- 我还没到饮酒的年龄 - 没错，这违法
Would be a shame if somebody reported you.
要是有人举报，你就惨了
Nobody's reporting anybody. It's fine Teddy. Have a little fun.
谁举报啊，别理他 喝一瓶，泰迪
Careful!
小心！
What is this? Instant marshmallows? Nice touch!
这是什么？棉花糖？ 想法不错！
- That was Alan's idea. - Good thinking, Al!
- 艾伦拿来的 - 好主意，艾伦！
You know... I gotta hand it to you, Stu! This place is paradise.
我得向你坦白…这地方真是天堂，斯图！
Not bad, right?
不错，是吧?
And I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm actually jealous of you.
我真不敢相信自己这么说 不过，我还真有点嫉妒你
- I mean, Lauren is an angel. - Yeah, she really is amazing.
- 劳拉是个天使 - 嗯，她确实很棒
Wow, you guys are sweet.
哇，你们什么时候嘴这么甜
Not big breasts on her. But still, solid rack for an Asian.
咪咪虽然不大，但是，很挺
- Sorry, Teddy, but it's true. - That's ok.
- 不好意思让你听见，泰迪，这是事实 - 没关系
That is just wildly inappropriate.
这么说哥们的媳妇，太不合适了
And yet... I'm really glad you're here. All you guys. Even you Alan.
不过…真的很感谢你们能来 艾伦你也是
It means a lot that you made the trip. Thank you.
这对我很重要，谢谢
- Wouldn't have missed it buddy. - Great!
- 我们一直都挺你 - 是的！
Now. Can we have our one fucking beer, dad?
现在来干一杯?
Alright. Toast! C'mon stand up guys.
来，站起来！干一杯
Come over here, Alan!
凑过来，艾伦！
To Lauren and Stu!
敬劳拉和斯图！
- You did it, buddy. - Sure did.
- 兄弟，你终于结婚了 - 没错
Cheers!
干杯！
What the hell...
见鬼…
What?
什么?
Phil...
菲尔…
I think it happened again.
上次拉斯维加斯的状况重现了
Alan, what the fuck did you do?
艾伦，你他妈都干什么了?
I didn't do anything. I swear to god.
我发誓，我什么都没干
Your hair is gone.
你头发没了
No, no... up.
不是这儿…往上摸
Where the fuck are we?
我们这是在哪儿?
Phil, I'm scared.
菲尔，我好怕
Stu, c'mon get up! We got a situation.
斯图，快起来！出大事了
- Oh, holy shit! - Where are we?
- 噢！ 他娘的！ - 这是哪儿?
- Oh my god, Alan. Your head. - No your head!
- 老天，艾伦，你的头 - 不，你的头！
- Is it bald? - Stu, you're gonna freak out, but it's gonna be ok.
- 我也秃了? - 斯图，你别抓狂，一切都会好的
- Why? Was it my teeth? - Nope, it's not your teeth.
- 怎么？我牙又没了？ - 不，不是你的牙
- Are you sure? - Yep.
- 你确定? - 是的
Can you see the bottom?
你能看见我牙根吗?
Oh my god! What the fu...ck
噢，老天，靠！
That's good. Why don't you try to wash it off.
对，试试，看能不能洗掉
It's not coming off. This is a real tattoo!
洗不掉，靠，这是真纹身！
Alan, what did you do! Did you Roofie me?
艾伦，你干什么了！你又给我下药了？
I didn't do anything!
我什么也没干啊！
Stu, he swore to god!
斯图，他真没干！
What happened?
到底咋回事?
Get it off of me!
快把它赶走！
- What the hell? - It's a monkey.
- 靠? - 是只猴子
What a cute little mask. Hi little monkey.
小脸真可爱，嗨，小猴子
Alan...
艾伦…
Phone! Alan, go find the phone!
电话！艾伦，接电话！
I got it!
我接！
- Doug, where the hell are you? - I'm at breakfast. By the pool.
- 道格，你在哪? - 我在泳池边吃早饭
- You guys coming down or what? - Oh Jesus. Thank god. Doug's fine.
- 你们下来吗? - 哦，谢天谢天，道格没事
- Stu, Doug's fine. He's at the resort. - Why aren't we at the resort.
- 斯图，道格没事，在酒店 - 那我们怎么在这鬼地方
What's going on? Where are you guys?
怎么了？你们在哪儿？
I do not know, man! We woke up in some shit hole room in some city.
不知道哪个城市的破旅馆里
- Oh god. What city? - I don't know, Doug!
- 老天，到底哪个城市？ - 我不知道，道格！
Fuckin Asia-town.
反正没出亚洲
- I do not know, I told you. - Where are we?
- 我说了我不知道 - 这到底是哪儿?
- Hey Stu. - What?
- 嘿，斯图 - 干嘛?
Check this out.
你来看
Ever seen anything like this?
你见过这玩意儿吗？
- What is that? - Careful. Might be a spiders nest.
- 啥玩意儿？- 小心，可能是蜘蛛网
I've tangled with those before.
我被蜘蛛网粘住过
I don't get it man. We each had one beer last night, right? I mean you too!
我不明白，兄弟 我们昨天不是一起喝酒嘛？你也喝了！
- Yeah but I left early, remember? - I don't remember shit!
- 是，但我提早离开了，有印象没? - 我什么也不记得了
Tracy wasn't feeling well. She came down to get me.
特蕾西不太舒服，我回去陪她了
Wait and second. Is Teddy with you guys?
等下，泰迪和你们在一起吗？
Teddy? What? What are you talking about?
什么泰迪？你指啥？
He wasn't in his room. They've been looking for him all morning.
他不在房间，他们找他一上午了
- Teddy went to Stanford, right? - Yeah. Why?
- 泰迪在斯坦福读书，对吧? - 是，咋啦?
Fuck!
靠！
- I just found his finger! - What?
- 我刚找到他的手指头啦！ - 啥?
- I just found his fucking finger, Doug! - Phil, what is going on?
- 我他妈的刚找到他的手指头，道格！ - 菲尔，到底咋回事?
Alright. Alright, alright... this is what we're gonna do.
行，行，行…我们先这么着
You tell the girls that we woke up early and went on a fishing trip, ok. And that's where we are.
你告诉大家，我们早起钓鱼去了
- Right. - Right, stay by the phone!
- 好 - 好，随时再联络！
Shit!
靠！
Uh, we got a little bit of a problem.
我们有点小麻烦
What is that?
你们看什么呢?
We don't know.
不知道
- Is it a worm? - It's a mushroom.
- 是条虫子吗? - 是个蘑菇
Yeah, shiitake.
是香菇
Monkey, taste it! Is it shiitake?
小猴，尝尝！是香菇吗？
- He can't understand you. - He just did.
- 他不明白你说啥的 - 你真尝了
- Why is he pulling on it? - He's probably hungry.
- 它为啥要扯它呢? - 可能饿了
Wait a second. Is that...
等等，这是不是…
What the fuck man. Tell that gay monkey to leave my shit alone.
搞什么搞，让猴子别扯我耳朵
Chow?
周?
You're fucking crazy.
你们这群疯子
It's so fucking light in here! Alan, grab me my sunglasses!
这儿真他妈亮！艾伦 快把我太阳镜拿来！
- It's great to see you, Leslie! - Nice to see you too my little popo.
- 见到你真好，莱斯利！ - 你也好，小宝宝
Chow, what the fuck are you doing here?
周，你他妈咋会在这儿？
Alan called me a few days ago and invited me to the wedding.
艾伦几天前打电话约我来参加婚礼
- Excuse me? - What, he's my plus one.
- 什么? - 怎么了，我有权带客人来
You don't have plus one. It's $200 a plate.
不，你没有，一个人餐费要200美元呢
Guys, guys. Just focus, ok. -Chow, what happened?
哥们，别扯远了 -周，发生什么事了？
You guys texted me, said you're fucked up and looking to party.
你们发短信给我，说想开心一下
I picked you up on my boat and I brought you here to Bangkok.
我就开了船，带你们到了曼谷
But we had a sick night, bitches!
贱人们，我们昨天可疯狂了
Wait a second Chow, we're in Bangkok?
等一下，周，我们在曼谷?
Holler, city of squalor.
哈哈，是啊，“上帝之城”
Do you know how I got this tattoo?
你知道我怎么有这个纹身的吗?
Uh, yeah from a fucking tattoo guy!
当然是从纹身专业人士那里纹的啦！
Come on Stu, use that big Jewish brain.
拜托，斯图，用用你的大脑
What's the monkey holding?
猴子拿的是什么？
- That's a finger! - Stu, I got some bad news.
- 是根手指头！ - 斯图，我有个坏消息
Teddy was with us last night. That's his finger.
泰迪昨天和我们在一起 这是他的指头
- Teddy's dead? - Teddy's not dead! He partied with us all night!
- 泰迪死了? - 泰迪没死！他昨晚和我们一起疯呢！
- Well then where is he? - Don't you remember anything?
- 那他在哪儿? - 你们什么都不记得了?
- No! - No, nothing, Chow.
- 不！ - 什么都不记得，周
Ok I explain it all, ok?
那我给你们讲讲，好吧?
Just let me do one bump, get my head straight. Come to papa.
让我先爽一爽，清醒下
That's a big...
太多了吧…
You ready for craziest fucking story ever...
你们准备好听有史以来最疯狂的故事…
Chow!
周！
Hey Chow, you okay?
周，你没事吧?
You gotta be kidding me.
真是扯淡
Fuck, he's dead!
靠，他死了！
- Help! - Stu!
- 救命！ - 斯图！
- Help! - Stu, shut up!
- 救命！ - 斯图，闭嘴！
- Call an ambulance! - Shut up! He's dead!
- 快叫救护车！ - 闭嘴！他已经死了！
Look if someone comes and finds a dead body and a pile of cocaine...
如果有人来了 发现一具死尸和一堆毒品…
We're gonna spend the rest of our fucking lives in a Thai prison.
我们就等着在泰国把监牢坐穿吧
Alan! Please don't cry!
艾伦！求你别哭了！
Alright. Alright. I just need a second to figure this out.
行了，行了，容我考虑几分钟
ICE MACHINE LOCATED ON 15TH FLOOR.
（制冰机在15楼）
Look, this is the worst idea, ever.
这是个蠢主意！
What the fuck is this place?
这是什么鬼地方?
Bangkok is the capital of Thailand. Its population is 12 million people...
曼谷是泰国的首都人口1200万…
Alan, will you help!
艾伦，帮把手！
- The elevator! - I'll get the button!
- 电梯！ - 我来按！
- What the fuck is the deal with this monkey? - That monkey gets it!
- 这猴子跟来干嘛? - 猴子可聪明着呢！
- Come on! - Fuck no!
- 快啊！ - 靠，不是吧
The powers out. We gotta take the stairs.
停电了，我们走楼梯
- Oh fuck! - Come on!
- 靠！ - 走吧！
Here it is!
到了！
Feet first. I've done this before.
先放脚，我以前干过
Careful!
小心！
- Stu! - What?
- 斯图！ - 什么？
- We still have to find Teddy! - Oh god.
- 我们还得找泰迪！ - 老天
The roof!
屋顶！ （参见第一部，他们最终在屋顶找到失踪的道格）
Teddy!
泰迪！（参见第一部，他们最终在屋顶找到失踪的道格）
- You guys see him? - No!
- 你们找到他没? - 没有！
He's not here.
他没在这儿
I can't believe this is happening again.
我真不敢相信，又来一次
Ok, look. We'll handle this. You get back there.
我们留下来找泰迪，你先回去吧
You tell them that Alan and I got drunk with him, we're still partying.
你告诉他们，我们三个喝多了还在派对呢
- You gotta go get married! - No! Not going back without Teddy!
- 明天就要婚礼了！ - 不！没有泰迪我不回去！
He's Lauren's little brother. He's lost, he's injured.
他是劳拉的弟弟，他丢了，而且受伤了
If I fuck this up, I have to lose everything.
如果我搞砸了，我什么都没了
Ok.
好吧
Alright.
好
- Alan, check your pockets! - What?
- 艾伦，翻翻你的口袋！ - 干嘛?
You know the drill. C'mon there might be clues.
你知道的，可能会有昨晚的线索
- Check your phones! Numbers, texts. - That's a good idea!
- 看看你的电话！通话记录，短信 - 好主意！
- I got nothing. Fuck! - I got an text from Chow.
- 我毫无线索，靠！ - 我有一条周的短信
- What time? - Uh, 10 o'clock last night.
- 什么时候? - 昨晚10点
- What's it say? - "On my way, Niggahs"
- 他说什么? - “同志们，我就到了”
Oh, Niggahs... ok... hip hop.
哦， 弟兄们… 嗯…很复古
We are so... fucked!
我们死定了！
Hey Phil! Look who's back!
嘿，菲尔！看后面是什么！
We gotta get you out of the sun. You're too hot.
我们得离开这儿了，你快晒傻了
Phil, I really think we should go to the American Consulate.
菲尔，我真觉得我们应该去美国领事馆
For what? To report a dead body we shoved into an ice machine?
去干吗？说我们把一具死尸放到制冰机里去了？
What are we gonna do? Keep walking around in circles? Cause that's real productive.
那我们怎么办？在这儿绕圈子？ 这难道有用？
You know I'm trying to figure this thing out here and your attitude is not helping.
我一直都在想办法 你跟我这是什么态度
I'm sorry. It's a 100 degrees and we don't have a plan.
对不住了，这儿温高100度 我们什么也没干
And all we've done is buy him hats and sodas.
除了给他买帽子和苏打水
-What, it's a bag of Fanta! - Alright, what do you want to do, Stu?
- 不，这是芬达！ - 好，那你想怎么干，斯图?
I don't know!
我不知道！
Well then stop yelling at me like it's my fuckin fault.
那你就别唧唧歪歪了 好像这全是我的错
It is your fault!
就是你的错！
All I wanted was a bachelor brunch.
我都说那个早午餐就当是单身派对算了
Shit! Shut up! It's Doug! Talk to me!
靠！闭嘴！是道格！说话！
I just got off the phone with Bangkok PD. They've got him. He's ok.
我刚和曼谷警察局通过电话了 他们找到泰迪了，他没事
Oh thank god! Doug found him.
真太好了！道格找到泰迪了
- What happened? - He got arrested.
- 怎么回事? - 他被拘留了
- Arrested? For what? - Disorderly conduct.
- 拘留? 因为什么? - 违反公共秩序
- Seriously? - Yeah! He's ok though.
- 真的? - 嗯！他没事就行
They'll release him to you. No questions asked. No one has to know.
他们会放了他，你们什么也别问 就当没这回事
He's at the Ratra Wang police station.
他被关在RATRA Wang警察局
Ok. I'll call you when we get there.
好，我们到那了再给你电话
Teddy's in jail, but he's fine. We gotta get a cab.
泰迪在局子里，没啥事 我们赶快找个出租车
- Ok! - Alright!
- 好！ - 好！
- Yes, I have his paperwork here. - Okay.
- 是，我这儿有他的记录 - 好的
- He has been treated. - Sounds good.
- 手续都办好了 - 听起来不错
We're good. They've processed him for release.
好了，他们已经去带他了
They put him in the drunk tank. He's fine.
他们把他跟喝多的人关在一起所以没啥事
Sixteen years old and spent a night in jail. Can you imagine?
16岁就在局子里蹲一夜，你能想像吗？
Haha! We love to party.
哈哈！我们爱派对
Here we go!
来了！
- Wait who's this fuckin guy? - Teddy Sisay.
- 这老头儿是谁? - 泰迪啊
No, no, no, no. That's the wrong guy! Sir!
不，不，长官，人不对！
Excuse me.. I'm sorry. Officer. You brought the wrong guy. That's not Teddy!
不好意思，长官，你们带来的人不对 这不是泰迪！
Of course it is! We have his ID's and everything!
他就是泰迪！ 我们有他的身份证，钱包啥的！
These were in his pocket when we made the arrest.
我们逮捕他的时候，在他口袋里发现的
They were in his pocket?
在他口袋里?
Excuse me, sir! How did you get this stuff?
对不起，先生！这些东西怎么在您这儿？
Hello?
听见了吗?
Teddy doesn't speak. We tried English, Thai, Chinese... Nothing.
泰迪是哑巴，我们跟他说英语，泰语 中文…他啥也不说
Let me ask you something.
我来问你件事
Does he look like he works out at Bally Total Fitness in Palo Alto, California?
你看这老头像是在加州倍力健身俱乐部健过身的吗？
Look. We arrest a lot of people. We cannot analyze everything.
听着，老子拘人无数，不可能什么都验
- What do you expect us to do with this guy? - Not my problem!
- 那你让我们怎么处理这老头儿？ - 不关我事儿！
Hey guys, I think he knows us. Hi. Hello.
嘿，兄弟们，我觉得他认识我们 你好啊
Do you know where our friend is, Teddy? He's missing!
你知道我们的朋友泰迪在哪吗？他不见了！
- Stu, forget it. The guys worthless. - He knows something!
- 斯图，别费劲儿了，没用 - 他一定知道些什么！
He's wearing Teddy's sweatshirt.
他穿着泰迪的运动衫呢
Maybe he just doesn't understand. I'll act it out.
也许他只是不明白，我来表演给你看
Yeah, like charades. Watch.
就像猜字谜，看
- Two words. - Is it a movie?
- 两个词 - 是电影吗?
This is not for you, Alan!
不是让你猜，艾伦！
- American teenager... in Asia. - Karate Kid, with Jaden Smith.
- 美国少年…在亚洲 - 贾登·史密斯的《功夫梦》
It's easy cause you're talking to him.
你都说出来了，太简单了
Stu, it's a waste of time! Just leave this fucking guy here.
斯图，你这是浪费时间！ 我们就把他搁这儿吧
Here's something. There are 500 thousand monks living in Thailand.
我有发现，在泰国有50万僧侣
It is not uncommon for some monks to take a vow of silence, at the age of eight.
其中会有不少人，从八岁开始禁言
There you go.
原来如此
- Anything else in that envelope? - Nah, it's empty.
- 信封里还有什么? - 没了，空了
Woah, hang on. A drink card from White Lion bar in Bangkok?
哇，等下，曼谷白狮子酒吧的卡片？
Worth a shot.
值得跑一趟
Jesus christ! Is this the right street?
老天爷！我们来对地方了吗？
That's what it says.
上面是这么写的
- Whoa! This is the White Lion! - What the fuck happened here?
- 哇哦！就是这儿，白狮子酒吧！ - 靠，这地方怎么了?
Holy shit!
见鬼！
(yelling in Thai)
(泰语)
- Let's... - We should probably...
- 走… - 我们应该…
That's ok.
小心
What the fuck is going on here?
他们干嘛这么对我们?
- Whoa, guys. Check it out! - Holy shit! Stu, look!
- 哇哦，兄弟们，看！ - 见鬼！你看，斯图！
That's my face. Go, go go! Nice work, Alan!
那是我，进去，进去！ 眼力不错，艾伦！
- Hello? - Be with you in a minute!
- 有人吗? - 马上就来！
- Excuse me. - Oh, look who it is!
- 打扰了 - 哦，真是贵客啊！
- So what do ya think? - What, I'm sorry?
- 你感觉如何? - 什么感觉如何?
- The tattoo. You love it? - Uh, no. Actually, I hate it.
- 纹身，你喜欢吗? - 呃，我恨这个纹身
- No refunds. Get the fuck out! - Wait a second!
- 恕不退款，快滚吧！ - 等一下！
Read the sign!
看店内提示！
NO REFUNDS. GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE.
恕不退款，快滚吧
We don't want any refunds. We just have a couple of questions.
我们没想退款，就想问几个问题
We're trying to figure out what went down last night.
我们想知道昨天发生什么事了
What went down? Take a look at what you did outside.
发生什么？你们去外面看看
Half the neighborhood went down.
外面塌了一半
We did that?
那是我们干的?
You don't remember getting into a bar fight at the White Lion?
你们几个不记得昨晚在白狮子酒吧斗殴？
- Starting a full on fuckin riot? - Sir, we don't remember anything.
- 引起了一场大暴动？ - 兄弟，我们什么都不记得了
Oh boy...
苍天啊…
Check this out!
你们看看！
Oh shit!
见鬼！
Fuck the Police!
警察去死！
There's Teddy! He was with us!
是泰迪！他跟我们在一起！
Jesus christ!
老天！
That's when the cops arrived and started cracking skulls.
那时警察就来了，不少人头破血流
I took you guys and hid you in the shop here.
我让你们藏到这里
Then you decided to get a tattoo. You cried like a little bitch.
然后你就决定弄个纹身 哭得像个娘们儿
This kid is fucking nine years old. He's got balls twice your size.
这小孩才他妈的9岁，蛋蛋是你的两倍
- Show him your balls, Nao! - No, no, no. That's ok.
- 让他们看看, Nao！ - 不，不，我们不看了
Listen, we're looking for our friend Teddy. Have you seen him?
听着，我们想找我们的朋友泰迪你看见他了吗？
Not since last night. Why? What happened?
昨晚后就没见了怎么了？
Yeah, I'm supposed to marry his sister tomorrow and we kinda lost him.
我明天就要和他姐结婚 可我把他弄丢了
- Oh well. Then fuck it! - What do you mean, fuck it?
- 哦，那我没辙，你认命吧！ - 什么认命?
Bangkok has him now and she'll never let him go.
在曼谷丢了的人，是找不到的
- You hear that, huh? Is this what you wanted? You happy now?
听到了吗？这就是你想要的？你高兴了吧？
You're wasting your time. These monks take their vow shit seriously.
你这是浪费时间僧侣对他们的誓言是非常认真的
Look at this. That's the sign of the Chang Mai Monastery, just outside of town.
看这个，这是清迈寺的标志 出城你们就能找到
Maybe somebody over there can get him to talk.
也许那里有人可以让他说话
- Ok, can we just go over this one more time? You got the beer from...
好，我们再来回顾一下？ 你从哪拿的啤酒？
- The hotel bar. They gave me a sealed case. - Right.
- 从酒店的酒吧，他们给了我一箱 - 对
- But, who gave it to you? - The bartender.
- 那是谁给你的? - 酒吧服务员
And then you brought em out and I opened them.
然后你拿出来，我打开的
Yeah and Doug had one and he was fine so it's not the beer.
而且道格喝了也没事 所以不是酒的问题
- So what the hell happened? - I have no idea!
- 那到底是怎么回事? - 不知道啊！
Hey guys. Check it out. He's got a Chinese boner.
嘿，兄弟们，快看 他下面有反应了
Alan, come on! Cut it out!
艾伦，别闹了！停下来！
- That is so wrong! - Don't stop monkey, keep doing it.
- 疯子！ - 别停下来，小猴，继续
When a monkey nibbles on a penis it's funny in any language!
当猴子玩大雕时，比什么都好笑
Keep doing it!
继续！
Alright, thank you!
好了，谢谢！
Bye Shannon! Bye Little Wayne!
再见香农！ 再见小韦恩！
Wow! So beautiful!
哇，真美！
What is this, a PF Chang's?
这是哪儿， PF Chang's?（美国连锁中餐馆）
Ah, they're meditating.
哦，他们在沉思
- Such a peaceful people! - Yeah.
- 真是宁静的人们！ - 可不
- Knock, knock! Hello! - Alan! Show some respect!
- 敲门了！你们好！ - 艾伦！讲点礼貌！
- Don't get up guys. - We brought one of your guys back.
- 不必起来，兄弟们 - 我们把你们同伴带回来了
He's really funny. He's really nice and cool.
他很不错，很酷
Hi, how you doing. You the one in charge?
嗨，你好，你是管事的？
- Excuse me... ow... Wait! - Stop it! Calm down!
- 抱歉…哇…等等！ - 别打了！冷静点！
Hold on. It's because we're talking.
对了，我们是因为说话才挨打的
God damn it! Oh! Stop!
混蛋！啊！住手！
Wait it's me!
是我！
Oh I get it.
我知道了
No talk! No talk! Shh.. Ok...
不说话！不说话！好吧…
Ok.
好吧
Late last night, you climbed the walls of our monastery.
昨天晚上，你们爬墙进到我们寺里
Shouting out questions about love, marriage and the meaning of life.
大声嚷嚷着什么爱情，婚姻 生命的意义
Poor brother Han was meditating alone in the garden.
可怜的韩长老正一个人在花园里沉思
- And you took him. - Oh my god!
- 你们劫持了他 - 喔，老天！
- We kidnapped a monk. - We live an alternative life style.
- 我们绑架了一个僧人 - 我们昨晚在另一个世界里
We are so sorry about that, but we weren't ourselves last night.
我们很抱歉，我们昨天喝傻了
Yep, things kinda spun outta control a little bit.
是啊，昨天发生的事情确实失控了
But there's a boy who's missing and hurt.
现在我们的朋友受伤了而且不见了
Can you find out if he knows where our friend is?
你能帮忙问问我朋友在哪儿吗？
Brother Han took a vow of silence many years ago.
韩长老很多年前就发誓禁言了
It would be useless to try.
我也没有办法
Well maybe he can write down what happened, on a piece of paper?
那是不是能让他拿笔写下来？
Actually Phil, that would be cheating. Isn't that right, Grand Wizard.
不，菲尔，这样做会被认为是作弊 对不对，住持大人
- Alan! - I'm afraid fatty is right.
- 艾伦！ - 这位胖施主说的对
See?... What?
听到了吧?…你叫我啥?
None of us will ever know what brother Han knows.
我们没有人知道韩长老在想什么
Oh, alright. Well, so much for holy people.
哦，好吧，说的这么虔诚
Bunch of bald assholes. C'mon, let's go.
不过就是群秃驴，走，我们走
Hey you know what! FYI!
嘿，知道吗？！顺便说一下！
You may want to put some signs up that say no talking...
在你们放孙悟空出来打人之前…
- ...before you unleash your dragon. - Yeah, that was a little rough.
- …不如贴个禁止说话的招牌 - 是，我们被打惨了
And "your welcome" for bringing him back safe.
不用“谢谢”我们把他送回来了
You know we found him in the drunk tank.
我们可是把他从局子里搞出来的
Yeah well we did take him in the first place.
我们先前是挟持了他嘛
- C'mon guys, let's go. - Wait!
- 兄弟们，我们走 - 等等！
The Buddha teach, every memory lives somewhere deep within.
佛语有云：汝所经之诸事，必深藏于记忆
Perhaps you should bring your question to the Garden of Meditation.
也许你们几个可以试试静思
- Did you understand a word he just said? - Yeah, yeah. About two thirds.
- 你听懂他说什么了吗? - 嗯，大概三分之二
He said something about the Garden of Meditation?
他说沉思什么的？
No, he said he's farting because of his medication.
不，他就是沉思太多，所以在这儿放屁
I get that.
看什么看
It's a waste of time. I don't remember anything. Do you?
这是浪费时间，我什么都不记得，你呢？
No. I got nothing. Alan?
不，我也没有，艾伦？
Alan!
艾伦！
"Every memory lives somewhere deep within"
“汝所经之诸事，必深藏于记忆”
- Sweetie. - What?
- 宝贝 - 什么事?
You have visitors.
斯图他们来了！
- Hey, Alan! - Hey, guys!
- 嘿，艾伦！ - 嘿，伙计们！
- Hey, Phil. - Hey buddy!
- 嘿，菲尔 - 嘿，伙计！
Stu would like to invite you to his wedding.
斯图想邀请你参加他的婚礼
- Is this true, Stuart? - Yeah, why not. It'll be fun.
- 你真愿意让我去，斯图？ - 是，干嘛不呢？应该挺有趣的
Fuck!
你疯了吗！
- For Lauren and Stu! - Cheers!
- 敬劳拉和斯图！ - 干杯！
- Chow! - We had a sick night bitches!
- 周！ - 贱人们，我们昨天可疯狂了！
Alan, what the fuck!
靠，艾伦你干啥！
Is that person coming to the wedding?
那个人要来参加婚礼？
- There is no wolfpack. - Alan, Alan, don't do that!
- 什么狼群 - 艾伦，艾伦，别闹了！
And finally...
最后…
The three best friends anyone could have.
三个最要好的朋友
Fuck the Police!
警察去死！
I know where to go.
我知道我们该去哪儿啦
- What do you think, Alan? - This is the place.
- 是这地方吗，艾伦? - 就是这儿
C'mon. Let's go.
走，我们进去
I don't remember any of this!
我怎么不记得来过这里！
- Yeah Alan, you sure this is the place? - Yeah, pretty sure.
- 我也不记得，艾伦，你确定是这地方吗 ？ - 没错，就是这儿
Rose! Harmony!
罗丝！海茉莉！
Is he coming or what? I've been waiting all day for him.
他到底来不来？我已经等了他一天了
- I'm sorry. Waiting for who? - Chow, that dick ass fuck!
- 对不起，等谁？ - 周，那个贱人！
- Why? What's wrong? - Nothings wrong.
- 什么?出什么事了？ - 没事，没事
Ok, good. Look at this. Look what I bring for him. Check it out, huh.
好，来，你们看 我给他带了什么，哈
- No, no! - $ 6,000 American.
- 不，不！ - 6000美元
Wow looks so real!
哇，看起来好像真家伙！
Sorry!
对不起！
- Alan, what the fuck! - It's ok. The gun, it's very sensitive.
- 艾伦，你他妈搞什么！ - 没事儿，这枪比较灵敏
Everybody ok?
没人受伤吧?
Ok, then get the fuck back to work! Come on. Music, please!
没事就赶快开始干活！ 来，音乐！
Where is my 6,000 dollars?
我的6000块钱呢？
6,000? No, no, no. This is Chow's deal. We got nothing to do with that.
6,000块? 不，不，不 这是周要的，跟我们没关系
Un-fucking believable.
真他妈不敢相信
This guy, if he backs out again, the shits gonna catch up with him.
那个贱人，要是让我再看见他 让他好好尝尝这枪的味道
He's made a lot of enemies in this town, and now they're gonna be your enemies.
他在这里结了不少梁子 你们也别想划清关系
That's not fair!
这不公平！
Ok listen. We're just looking for a little kid.
听着，我们在找个孩子
- 2,000 dollars. - What!
- 2000美元 - 什么！
I don't know, maybe more. How young you want this kid to be?
我不知道，这可能还不够 你想要多大的孩子？
No, no! Sorry, you misunderstood. We're looking for our friend... 16 years old.
不，不！你没听明白我们在找我们的朋友…16岁
- Teddy. - Teddy?
- 泰迪 - 泰迪?
- Yeah he was here with you guys last night. - He was?
- 他昨晚不是还和你们在一起 - 是吗?
Do you know if he left with us?
那你知道他有没有和我们一起走？
I don't know. You were in the corner all night with Kimmy.
我不知道，你们昨天整晚都在那个角落和卡米在一起
- I didn't see you leave. - Kimmy?
- 我没看见你们离开 - 卡米?
- Is she here? - Yes, she's in the back. She just came for her shit.
- 她在吗? - 她刚来上班，在后台呢
Go and talk to her.
你们去找她吧
Alright, listen. I'm sorry about everything that happened.
听着，我们为所发生的一切表示抱歉
Listen to me, ok? Pay attention to what I'm going to talk to you know.
你听好了，记住我跟你说的话
When you see Chow, you tell him Samir says "Hello".
当你看见周，告诉他萨米尔跟他说“你好”
Okay!
好！
But do it like that, ok! "Hello" like threatening. Like, ironic.
记住，说的要像这样！ “你好”像是讽刺，恐吓
- "Hellooo" - Okay!
- “你好” - 好！
Go away! Go away!
滚开！快滚开！
Of course I remember him. He was buying shots for everyone.
我当然记得泰迪，他请所有人喝酒
Nice kid! His parents must be so proud.
好孩子！他父母一定特骄傲
You have no idea.
可不是
Ok, so do you remember if he left with us?
好，你记得我们离开时他有没有一起？
Yeah, you were all leaving together,
是啊，你们一起离开的
but you almost forgot this one right here.
怎么你怎么好像连我都不记得了
Right, super star?
是不是，超级明星？
This one was following me around like a little puppy dog. All night.
你昨晚一直跟着我，像个哈巴狗
Saying he'd fallen in love with me. Asked me to marry him.
说你爱上我了，要我跟你结婚
Classic Stu!
经典款的斯图！
- We didn't get married, did we? - Course not!
- 我们没结婚吧? - 当然没有！
We just had some fun in the Chardonnay room.
我们只是在酒窖里寻了些乐子
- What happens in the Chardonnay room? - Let's just stay on task.
- 寻什么乐子? - 我们还是先打听泰迪的事吧
I danced for him. He tickled me. We had sex.
我为他跳舞，他挑逗我，我们做爱了
- Fuck! - It's ok. You're not married yet.
- 靠！ - 没关系，你还没结婚呢
- No big deal. - It's cheating!
- 不是大事 - 这是背叛！
No offense to you. You're a lovely woman.
没有冒犯你的意思，你是一个可爱的女士
It's a violation of my moral code.
这是对我道德准则的践踏
Don't be sad. Stu you loved it. You were crying, saying how special it was.
别难过，斯图，你挺享受的 你哭着，说你有多喜欢
- Wait! I'm sorry. He was crying? - What a baby. He was crying.
- 等等，你说，他哭了? - 真是个小宝宝，还哭呢
You should have seen him. He was so sexy. The way he moved around.
你们应该看看他当时的样子 屁股扭扭的，性感极了
I had to ask him to slow down so I didn't drop my load too quick.
我不得不让他悠着点，让我别那么快泄了
- Load? What load? - Oh, you know... My sperms.
- 泄了？什么泄了? - 哦，你知道的，我的精液
I think your English is off. You're talking about my sperm!
你英文也太差了，我想你是指我的精液吧！
- Where would your sperm come from? - From my balls!
- 你从哪来的精液? - 从我的那地方啊！
- Hold on! Back up! - Wait... Are you...
- 等等！你说什么！ - 等等…难道你是…
Hey. You're in Bangkok, sweetie.
嘿，亲爱的，这可是曼谷
- There's a reason they don't call it "Bang-cunt". - Oh!
- 曼谷可不是个名字 - 噢！
- Oh god! - Wow.
- 老天啊！ - 哇
I don't get it. Is this a magic show?
我不明白，这是魔术表演吗？
Come on, Stu, it was beautiful. We climaxed at the same time.
别纠结了，斯图，我们都很开心 同时到了高潮
How's that work?
那怎么可能?
Shoot my load into you. Shoot your load on the floor.
我射到你身体里，你射到了地上
- Ok! - You ruined me. Ruined bottom.
- 是啊！ - 你毁了我，毁了我的菊花
Oh god!
老天啊！
- Stu! It's not the end of the world. - Sorry, but I'm so confused.
- 斯图！这也不是世界末日 - 对不起，到底怎么回事
I made love to a man... with boobies.
我跟一个有胸部的男人…做爱了
Listen. I promise you no ones ever gonna find out about this.
听着，我发誓，没人会发现这事的
But we found out about it.
但是我们几个不都发现了
And then we forget. That's what we do!
那就都忘了，就这么办！
I do so much fucked up shit. And I just forget about it.
我干过那么多蠢事，我还不是都忘了
- Yeah? - Yeah! Just forget! It goes away!
- 是吗? - 是啊！忘了，就什么事都没有了
That might be harder to go away, but in time it'll happen.
可能有点难，但是总会过去的
I certainly do. Just gonna forget about it.
行，那我就忘了它
- Never happened. - Great!
- 从没发生过 - 好极了！
Phone! Phone! Who is it? Answer!
电话！电话！谁的电话？接啊！
Lauren's dad. He just reminded me...
劳拉的爸爸，他又来逼我了…
- Answer it! - I can't.
- 接啊！ - 我做不到
What! He might know something about Teddy. C'mon we still have a shot here.
等等！他可能知道泰迪的下落 我们可以试试
Get your head back into the fucking game, Stu!
整理头绪，面对现实，斯图！
Hello?
你好?
Who takes an all day fishing trip the day before a wedding?
谁会在婚礼前花整天去钓鱼呢？
- Yeah, I guess that is kinda stupid. - Put Teddy on the phone.
- 嗯，确实有点傻 - 让泰迪接电话
- Teddy's seasick actually. - Seasick?
- 泰迪晕船了 - 晕船?
Teddy's been a Maritime cadet since he was nine.
泰迪从9岁起就是候补海军了
That's weird, cause he's puking everywhere.
那还真奇怪了，他吐的到处都是
I'm gonna tell you something that you do not know.
我要告诉你些你不知道的事情
- I don't like you. - Yeah,I knew that already.
- 我不喜欢你 - 哦，这我早知道了
If my daughter chooses you, that's her problem.
我女儿选择你，那是她的事
This is ??. Hey it's Phil Winnick!
您是？？ 嘿，我是菲尔·维尼克
Listen, I apologize. We've been reelin in some crazy Marlin and I just wanna say...
对不起，我们一直在跟马林鱼周旋，我想说…
Phil!
菲尔！
- Jesus! - Phil!
- 老天！ - 菲尔！
Fuck me!
靠！
- Give us back our monkey! - What monkey? Get your own monkey!
- 把猴子还给我们！ - 什么猴子？找你们自己的猴子去！
Come on, you asshole, the fucking monkey!
别装了，贱人，就是你抱的那只！
Come on!
还给我！
Anytime, Alan. He's pointing a gun at us!
艾伦，你干嘛！他可拿枪对着我们呢！
This is our monkey!
这是我们的猴子！
No one's getting shot over a fucking monkey!
没有人会为了一只猴子去死！
Hand him over, now!
快还给他，现在！
God, I've never given him no monkeys.
老天，我才不想还呢
No, no ...
来，来…
Hey Phil, check it out. He's got a banana on his helmet.
菲尔，你看，猴子的头盔上有个香蕉
He's the real deal.
我想他们确实是主人
What the fuck's happening?
你们知道发生什么事情了吗?
Hold on! How did this happen? Do you know where our friend is?
等等！这是怎么回事？ 你们知道我朋友在哪儿吗？
- Yeah. Sixteen years old. Asian kid. - (says something in Russian?)
- 16岁的，亚洲男孩 - (俄语)
No, I don't understand what you said! No, I didn't understand!
不，我不明白你说什么，我不明白！
What'd he say?
他说什么?
He said fuck you and your questions!
他说操你和你的问题！
- Oh, my arm! - Philip, are you okay?
- 哦，我的胳膊！ - 菲尔，你没事吧?
Oh I got shot! Fuck! Fuck this!
我中枪了！靠！靠！
It's alright, Phil! It's alright!
没事，菲尔！没事的！
We'll figure this out and get the monkey back, I promise.
我们会搞明白怎么回事而且把猴子追回来
Who gives a fuck about the monkey!
谁他妈的关心那只猴子！
What the fuck is going on?
到底他妈的发生什么事情了?
Stu, am I gonna be ok? You're a doctor.
斯图，我会不会死？你是个医生
I don't know, let me look!
我不知道，让我看看！
What?
怎么了?
Don't look at it!
别看！
Stuart Price! Get your ass back over here!
斯图尔特·普莱斯！ 你给我滚回来
- You got shot! - I know!
- 你中枪了！ - 我知道！
- Whoa, you all right? - Yeah, I'm ok.
- 哇，你出来了? - 是，我没事
Actually, bullet just grazed my arm. Eight stitches.
子弹只是擦过我的胳膊，缝了8针
Only cost six dollars. How is that even possible?
只花了6块钱，不可思议吧？
How's any of this even possible?
发生的所有一切都不可思议呢
If I was a foot to my left, Stu, I'd be dead.
要是当时往左站一英尺，我就死了
What are we gonna do?
我们到底怎么办？
I'm sorry guys. This wasn't part of the plan.
对不起，兄弟们，这不是计划范围内的
- What plan, Alan? - I've said too much already.
- 什么计划，艾伦? - 我已经说太多了
Alan! What plan?
艾伦！什么计划?
- It's all Teddy's fault. - What are you talking about, Alan?
- 都是泰迪的错 - 你到底说什么，艾伦?
Why is he even here? He's not part of the wolf pack!
他为什么非和我们在一起！ 他不是我们狼群的成员！
- Alan, what did you do? - It's not my fault!
- 艾伦，你到底干了什么? - 不是我的错！
Teddy shouldn't have been sharing from his bag.
泰迪不该把他那包拿出来和大家分享
- What bag? - The marshmallows.
- 那一包什么? - 棉花糖
I had a separate bag just for Teddy.
我给泰迪特地准备了一包
But it was dark and it was hard to keep track.
但是晚上太黑，本来就分不太清楚了
And then, you almost sat on em. I couldn't tell which was which.
然后，你又差点儿坐上去 我就完全分不清楚了
- It was mayhem! - What did you do to the marshmallows, Alan?
- 这是犯罪！ - 你对那些棉花糖做了什么，艾伦？
Alan, what did you do?
艾伦，说话？
Isn't it obvious?
不是很明显的吗?
I spiked them with muscle relaxers. And plus my ADHD medication.
我往里面加了肌肉松弛剂和我的多动症药
- What? - You drugged us again?!
- 什么? - 你又给我们下药?！
Not you! I just wanted to knock out Teddy for a little
不是你们！我只是想把泰迪弄晕
while so we could finally enjoy the weekend.
让我们四个好好玩儿
Enjoy the weekend? Alan, you told me that you didn't do anything!
好好玩？艾伦，你告诉我你什么都没做的！
Alan, you swore to god!
艾伦，你可是发了誓的！
I just wanted things to stay the same.
我只是想我们几个在一起就像以前一样
Like at my face! You ruined my life!
你看看我的脸！你毁了我一生！
You're not my friend!
你不是我朋友！
Don't say that, Phil! You're serious? Even in America?
别这么说，菲尔！你是认真的？回美国也不是？
- Yes! - Oh God! Don't say that, Phil!
- 是的！ - 老天啊！别这么说，菲尔！
- Don't start crying, Alan! - You're the bearded devil!
- 别哭，艾伦！ - 你是魔鬼！
You liked it! You smiled at me when I handed you the bag with marshmallows.
你很喜欢的！我把棉花糖给你时 你还冲着我笑
Because I like marshmallows, you fucking psycho!
那是因为我喜欢棉花糖，你这个疯子！
Hey! Whoa! Hold on!
嘿！哇哦！别打了！
Enough!
够了！
- Why, Alan? Why? - Stu!
- 为什么，艾伦？为什么？ - 斯图！
Because we're the three best friends, remember?
因为我们三个是最好的朋友，记得吗？
Remember?
记得吗？
Stu, that's enough...
斯图，算了…
Guys, we can't fall apart now. We gotta stick together.
兄弟们，现在不是内讧的时候我们要团结
- Alan, what's that written on your belly? - What? Huh?
- 艾伦，你肚子上写了什么? - 什么？嗯？
Lebua Hotel, Saturday six pm.
乐华酒店，周六下午6点
- You write that? - No!
- 你自己写的? - 不是！
Shit, that's in 20 minutes.
靠，就差20分钟6点了
What about England, Phil? Will we still be friends there?
英国怎么样，菲尔？在那儿我们是朋友吗？
Alan, I already told you. It was in the heat of the moment.
艾伦，我告诉你了，我是一时气急了
We're still friends. All over the world.
我们还是朋友，到哪儿都是
- Even Great Britain? - Yeah.
- 即使在大英帝国? - 是的
What about you, Stu?
你呢，斯图?
We'll see.
再说吧
Gentlemen, follow me.
先生们，跟我走
Here you go.
他们来了
Well. About time! Sit down.
哇，来的正是时候！坐吧
Come on, sit.
来，坐吧
Wow, you guys look like shit.
哇，你们看起来跟狗屎一样
- Uh, do we know you? - Hey!
- 嗯，我们认识你吗? - 嘿！
Take off your fuckin hat. You're in a restaurant for christs sake. C'mon.
摘掉你的帽子，看在上帝的份上 你是在酒店里呢，快
Ok, listen. We have no clue what's going on here.
好，听着，我们对为什么来这里一无所知
You know, they sell a Plum whiskey here, it's fuckin unreal.
知道吗，他们这里卖的威士忌是假的
Seriously, it will absolutely fuck you up!
真的，喝起来像狗屎一样
Oh, I'm sorry. You guys already got fucked up, didn't you.
不过你们已经像狗屎一样了
Uh, listen, I'm a little confused. How did you...
嗯，听着，我有点迷惑，你怎么…
You know what? I am a little fuckin confused!
你知道吗？我也有点迷惑！
Where's Chow? With the fuckin account code and the fuckin password!
周在哪里？账号和密码在哪儿？
We don't know anything about any codes. We're just trying to find our friend.
我们不知道什么密码 我们只是来找个朋友
- Teddy? - Yes! Teddy! Have you seen?
- 泰迪? - 是的！泰迪！你看见他了吗？
Hmm, let's see...
嗯，让我看看…
There's Teddy!
这是泰迪！
Holy shit! It's from last night.
狗屎的！是昨天晚上照的
- Who are you? - I'm a businessman.
- 你是谁? - 我是个商人
And I've invested a large chunk of capital in your friend Chow.
我给你的朋友周投资了一大笔钱
And in return, he was supposed to transfer my profits electronically.
作为回报，他应该在5分钟前
About five fuckin minutes ago.
把我的钱打给我
So last night, we took Teddy as insurance.
所以昨晚，我们绑了泰迪作为保证
- Oh my god! Is he okay? - Oh my god, I wasn't done talking.
- 噢，上帝，他没事吧? - 噢，上帝，我还没说完话呢
You tell Chow, that we are having breakfast on the roof of this hotel...
你告诉周，明早8点，在这个酒店的天台…
...tomorrow morning at eight am.
…和我一起吃早饭
Or if he makes the transfer, you will get Teddy.
如果他完成交易，你们就得到泰迪
If not well then hey, you know... it's Bangkok.
如果没有，你知道… 这可是曼谷
That's your cue to get the fuck out of here.
赶快滚吧
Hey, you know what? Leave the hat.
嘿，知道吗？把你的帽子留下
Alan leave the hat.
艾伦，放下帽子
Atta boy.
好孩子
We're fucked! Chow's dead. What do we do now?
我们死定了！周死了，我们怎么办？
The guy doesn't give a shit about Chow, Stu.
这人才不管周是死是活，斯图
This whole things about a fucking bank account.
他只想知道账号和密码
Let's just go back to the hotel. We'll search Chow's body.
我们先回酒店在周的尸体上找找
Hopefully the password's in his wallet or something.
希望密码在他的钱包里或其它地方
- And what if it isn't? - He's gonna kill Teddy.
- 如果找不到呢? - 他会杀了泰迪
Just relax. We have until 8am tomorrow to figure it out.
放松点，到明早8点还有很长时间 我们能想到办法的
First the monkey and now my hat. How much worse can this day get.
先抢我猴子，又抢我帽子 今天可真糟糕
Jesus christ!
上帝啊！
Well we're livin here in Alan town.
我们住在艾伦的小镇里
And he's drivin our lives into the ground.
他让我们的生活跌到了谷底
When we woke up we were wasted and drunk.
我们醒来的时，既没用，也喝醉了
Phil got shot. We got beaten by a monk.
菲尔中了枪，我们被和尚打
I was happy, and my life was good.
我以前的生活很好，很开心
Getting married like a dentist should.
像一名普通牙医那样准备结婚
Roasting marshmallows on a stick.
用竹签烤棉花糖吃
I got fucked in the ass... by a girl with a dick.
被一个有鸡鸡的女孩爆菊…
Oh yeah, I will remember that.
欧耶，我记得这个
And we're livin in Alan town.
我们住在艾伦的小镇里
There's water everywhere.
到处都是水
Yeah it's cause it melted, Stu. The fuckin powers out.
没电，冰都化了嘛
With an inadequate electrical grid, serving millions of people
因为供电不足
Bangkok experiences 1500 power outages per year.
曼谷每年停电1500小时
Seriously, Alan. That's enough!
真格的，艾伦，闭嘴！
Out of the way!
闪开！
We got it.
我们来打开
Oh my god!
哦，上帝！
Chow, calm down!
周，冷静点！
- You put the chill on me? - No, no!
- 你们想冻死我? - 不，不！
It's okay.
没事了
Relax!
放轻松！
It's just us. Breathe!
是我们，别激动，深呼吸！
It was so cold.
我好冷啊
- We're gonna warm you up. - I was so cold!
- 我们想法让你暖和起来 - 我好冷啊！
- You did good, buddy. You did good. - I did good.
- 你挺过来了，哥们，你挺过来了 - 我挺过来了
Feelin better?
感觉好点了吗?
- Alright, you warm enough? - I don't know.
- 怎样，你暖和些了吗？ - 我不知道
Come feel my bowels and tell me.
你来摸摸我的五脏六腑然后告诉我
I've been locked in a fuckin ice box all day!
我被关在制冰机里一整天！
Hey Alan, if you want my sunglasses...
嘿，艾伦，如果你想要我的太阳镜…
...just ask Chow. You don't have to kill me.
…跟我说就行，没必要杀了我
Chow, nobody killed you. You were already dead. You didn't have a pulse.
周，没人想杀你，你当时已经死了 没有脉搏
Oh, you never do blow before?
哦，你以前没学心肺复苏吗？
Sometimes your heart stop... start up again.
有时候你的心脏停跳了…然后又开始跳了
- Read a book! - Look I'm sorry. We're having a bad day.
- 好好学习吧！ - 听着，真对不起，我们这一天也过得很糟糕
Oh, you're having a bad day! Did you die?
哦，你过得糟糕！你死了吗？
- I got shot! - But did you die?
- 我中枪了！ - 那你死了吗?
Chow, some guy told us that you got a bank code or something...
周，有人告诉我们你有银行密码什么的…
...and if we don't bring it to him first think in the morning...
…如果我们明早不给他
...he's gonna kill Teddy.
…他就杀了泰迪
Who, Kingsley? He harmless. Don't worry. I got the bank codes.
谁，金斯利？他无害的，别担心我有他要的东西
Great! Alright, we gotta meet him at 8am. -Who is that fuckin guy, anyway?
好！那我们就明早8点给他 -他到底他妈的是谁啊？
- An investor in my business. - Yeah, what business is that?
- 我的一个投资商了 - 嗯，投资什么生意？
It's called "not your business" ok!
这个生意就是“关你屁事”，知道了吧！
- Oh, where's the monkey? - The monkey...
- 哦，猴子在哪里? - 猴子…
Yeah I put the account number and password in his vest. Where is he?
我把银行账号和密码都放在它背心里了 它在哪？
- Why would you do that? - Safe keeping, pretty boy.
- 你为什么放那儿? - 小白脸，为了安全啊
I got a lotta heat on my ass.
你知道多少人盯着我吗
I got FBI, Bangkok PD, Interpol, MSNBC...
美国联邦调查局，曼谷警察局，国际刑警组织，哥伦比亚…
That little monkey snorting coke with me all night...
那只小猴子昨晚和我一起吸毒…
Jerkin me off while I watched Stu make fuckin lady boy.
当我看斯图和那个人妖亲热时帮我脱衣服
- He not going anywhere. - We don't have the monkey, Chow.
- 它能去哪儿 - 周，猴子不在我们这里
Oh, some Russian thugs took him from us.
嗯，俄罗斯歹徒抢走了它
Oh you fucking guys!
你们这些白痴！
Okay. No problem. We just have to get him back.
好了，没问题，我们只要把它抢回来就行了
- From where? - From the same place we took him from.
- 去哪儿抢? - 从我们刚开始抢它的地方抢
This monkey isn't just normal monkey.
它不是只普通的猴子
Every night, monkey drug mule.
夜里，他就是猴子跑腿
He take coke to buyer...
他送毒品给买家…
And deliver cash to dealer. He is middle man.
然后拿钱给毒贩子，它就是个中间人
Dealer never handle drug directly.
毒贩子不用直接交易
He clean.
就没什么把柄
That's terrible.
糟糕透了
Not terrible. What he talking about. Fucking genius.
什么糟糕，你懂什么，这主意太天才了
You ever see monkey go to jail?
你见过猴子坐牢的吗？
We just take the monkey for deal, he come close,
我们招呼猴子过来做生意，等它过来了
we take his vest. That's that.
抢了它的背心，就这样
- We get some blow too, you know... bump. - No, no more bumps, Chow.
- 顺便也买点毒品, 你知道的…爽一爽 - 不，别再爽了，周
This is ridiculous.
太荒唐了
Stu, Mr. Chow can't whistle. Shake your monkey.
斯图，周先生不会吹口哨，你来
Alright, here we go.
好，他听见了
Come on!
来了！
How did we wind up with the monkey last night anyway?
我们昨晚为什么把猴子偷走？
I needed some blow and Alan thought he was cute...
我需要买些毒品，艾伦又觉得它很可爱…
...so we stole him!
…所以了！
So stupid!
真笨！
Stu, ready to grab vest?
斯图，准备抢它的背心了?
- Okay. I just grab it? - Yeah, just do it. Just do it.
- 好的，我就直接抓住它就行? - 是，快，快
- Hey, little monkey. - Alan, be quiet.
- 嘿，小猴子 - 艾伦，安静点
- Fuck! - We gotta go, right now!
- 靠！ - 我们得快跑，现在！
- Pull that fuckin monkey in! - I'm trying!
- 把猴子拉进车里！ - 我在用力！
Shit!
妈的！
- Get that monkey in here, Stu! - He won't let go!
- 斯图，快把猴子弄到车里！ - 它不放手啊！
Stu, get back in the car! Right now!
斯图，快进到车里！快！
I'm trying! Slow down!
慢一点！我在尽力！
He's so strong!
它太有劲儿了！
Let go you fuckin monkey!
放手，你这该死的猴子！
- Look out! - Oh shit! Tight squeeze!
- 小心！ - 哦，靠！恰好挤过去！
I got him!
我抓住它了！
- Where's the code, Chow? - Check his little vest.
- 密码在哪儿，周？ - 找找它的小背心
- Got it, Alan? - Yes, I got a .
- 找到没，艾伦? - 嗯，我找到个…
- Slow down Chow! - Hold on, J-Birds.
- 开慢点，周！ - 坐稳了，伙计们
Holy Shit!
他妈的！
Don't worry. I got this shit!
别担心，哥擅长这个！
Pig!
猪啊！
Oh, my word.
哦，上帝
Sorry, Stu! My bad!
对不起，斯图！我的错！
Oh, shit!
噢，该死的！
Get down!
卧倒！
What the fuck!
靠！
Oh no! He shot the monkey!
哦，不，他打中了猴子
They shot the monkey.
他们打中了猴子
I'm at my wits end.
我束手无策了
He's coming back around.
他从后面追上来了
Look out!
小心！
- Holy fuck! - Oh no...
- 靠！ - 哦，不…
- Everyone alright? - Yeah.
- 大家都没事吧? - 没事
I have such an erection right now!
我现在“鸡动”了！
Are you for real?
你说真的?
They're gonna take good care of you here, ok ?
他们会好好照顾你的，好吧
What's that?
什么意思?
Oh, yeah. Cigarettes. Got em right here. Here you go.
哦，香烟，我这儿有，给你
Right here.
给你点上
Deep breathe. Good.
深吸一口，好的
Soak it in.
吸进去
Breathe the smoke into your tiny little lungs. There you go.
把烟吸到你的小肺里，就这样
It's funny. I've never been much of a smoker, but...
有趣的是，我一直对抽烟没好感，但是…
Boy does it look cool on you.
你抽烟的样子可真酷啊
Alan, c'mon! Let's go!
艾伦，快！我们要走了！
I'll miss you, monkey.
我会想你的，小猴
I wish monkeys could Skype.
你要是会用Skype就好了（Skype：聊天软件）
Maybe one day...
也许有一天…
Come on! Get in!
快！上车！
Are you guys seriously this calm?
你们就这么镇静？
Relax, Stuart. It's classic switcheroo.
放轻松，斯图，只是个普通交易罢了
I give him money, he gives us Teddy.
我给钱，他交人
You ever do anything that doesn't end up in a standoff, Chow?
你就从没遇到过事情不这么顺利的，周？
I'm an international criminal. It always ends like this.
我是个国际罪犯，事情都是这么发展的
I met my wife at one of these things.
我就是在这过程中遇到我老婆的
- You got a wife? - Yeah, we married 15 years.
- 你有老婆? - 是啊，我们结婚15年了
What, I not good looking enough for woman?
怎么了，我长得不够帅？连老婆都讨不上？
No, that's cool.
不，你挺好的
Let's do this!
上阵了！
- Welcome to the Tower Club. - Blah blah blah, who cares.
- 欢迎光临塔俱乐部 - 唧唧歪歪的，谁在乎
Stop! Chow crossing.
停下来！让我先过
- Hey, Kingsley! - Well, well.
- 嘿，金斯利！ - 哦，哦
Propecia looking nice!
你的光头还那么亮啊！
You been hitting the gym?
你最近一直在健身吗?
Yes I am actually. Thank you for noticing, Chow.
是啊，你连这都注意到了，周
Hey, guys. Have a seat.
嘿，伙计们，来坐吧
- Where's Teddy? - He's waiting downstairs in my car.
- 泰迪在哪里? - 他在楼下我车里等着
Send him up when the transfer is complete.
交易完我就让人带他上来
Tell you what. Give me extra 50 grand, you keep Teddy.
跟你说吧，你再给我5万，泰迪我就不要了
And I throw in this other fat fuck for free.
我还把那个胖子免费送给你
- Chow.. Chow... - Could we move this along!
- 周…周… - 我们能快点嘛！
Alan, account number. Come on, come on.
艾伦，账号，给我
8-1-4, K, 2-3-9-8. 8-1-4, K as in knife, 2-3-9-8.
- Password? - "baloney1"
- 密码? - “胡扯1”
Your password is "baloney1" ?
你的密码是 “胡扯1”?
Well it used to be just "baloney" but now they make you add number.
我以前只是用“胡扯” 但银行非让加个数字
- Fuckin annoying. - OK.
- 烦死人了 - 好的
- And it's that easy. - Ta dah!
- 就这么简单 - 塔哒！
Oh look. You sunk my battleship.
哦，看，你赚了
- Great, now can we please have Teddy? - Yeah. Bring him up.
- 好了吧，能把泰迪带来了吗？ - 好，把他带上来
See. We go to your wedding. We have fun. I bust a nut.
看见了吧，我们去参加你的婚礼 开心一下，我去玩女人
We did it, Stu. It's over!
我们把人找回来了，斯图，终于结束了！
This is Bangkok police! Everybody down!
曼谷警察！所有人都趴下！
Oh, nuts!
哦，混蛋！
Kingsley, you're fucking Five-O?
金斯利，你他妈的是警察？
Gotcha, Leslie!
抓住你了，莱斯利！
Get him outta here.
把他带走
Go! Just do it! Go!
走，快走吧！
How the fuck...
怎么搞的…
Samir, you fucked me over six grand? You camel jockey!
萨米尔，你就因为6000块钱出卖我？你这个阿拉伯土人！
You spit on me?
你吐我?
Six grand this time, eight grand last time.
这次6000，上次8000
It's not the money, man, it's the principle!
这不是钱的问题，这是原则！
Principle? Nigga, please! We both dead inside.
原则？黑鬼，拜托了！别装得像个正经人
Call me nigga... don't call me "nigga"!
敢叫我黑鬼…少叫我黑鬼！
- Put em in, motherfucker! - He's an asshole, man.
- 把他们抓起来，混球！ - 他就是个人渣
You guys ok?
你们没事吧?
- What the fucks going on? - Detective Inspector Peters, Interpol.
- 到底怎么回事? - 国际刑警，彼得森警探
- You're a cop? - Yes.
- 你是个警察? - 是的
This sting operation has been in place for weeks.
这个行动计划已经好几周了
When Samir told us that your friend was lost...
萨米尔告诉我们，你们的朋友失踪了…
We took advantage of that information. I'm sorry.
我们就利用这个信息引周出来，对不起
So can Teddy come out of the car now?
那现在能让泰迪上来了吗?
No, Alan, Teddy's not in the fuckin car!
不，艾伦，他不知道泰迪在哪里！
They don't have him. They never had him.
他们没有抓住泰迪，一直都没有
They just needed us to bring them Chow. They used Teddy as bait.
他们只是利用我们找周 泰迪只是他们的饵
- Do you have any leads at all? - No. We've checked everywhere.
- 你们完全都没有线索吗? - 没有，我们能找的地方都找过了
No one has seen him. I'm sorry.
没人看见他，对不起
If you haven't found him by now, I'm afraid Bangkok has him.
如果你们到现在还没找到他 我怕是凶多吉少了
Why do people keep saying that?
为什么他们老这么说？
Stu... It's time.
斯图…不能再拖下去了
Phill...
菲尔…
-I'm sorry. - Don't say that. Please.
- 对不起 - 求你别说这个
- No this time we really fucked up. - Oh god! How bad?
- 不，这次我们真的搞砸了 - 天哪！到底有多糟糕？
Like, no wedding bad?
难道，要取消婚礼？
Yeah... a little worse than that!
差不多…可能更糟一些！
Ok, how about this? He fell off the fishing boat and drowned.
你看，这么说怎么样？ 他掉下渔船，溺水了
No.
不行
Ok, I got it. Teddy was hit by a truck.
好，那说他被车给撞了
- Alan! - Not a good time, Phil. Kinda busy!
- 艾伦！ - 干嘛啊，菲尔，我正忙着呢 ！
How many people get run over here?
这里每年多少人被车撞死？
- Over 1200 a year, Phil. - Perfect!
- 一年1200以上，菲尔 - 好极了！
His body was too mangled to recover. Case closed.
他的尸体被撞得无法辨认，就这么定了
Can I get more ice, please?
能给我加点冰吗？
I'm not gonna lie to Lauren.
我不打算对劳拉撒谎
Stu, do you want this or not?
斯图，你想结婚还是不想？
Look at what I've done, Phil. What I do.
看看我都干了些什么啊，菲尔
I have a weakness for prostitutes. All kinds, apparently.
我有召妓的缺点 各种妓女，很显然
- I have a demon in me! - So what?
- 我内心有个魔鬼！ - 那又怎样?
Teddy's gone, but I can still save Lauren.
泰迪死了，我仍然可以救劳拉
Just let her live her life without me.
只要她的生活里没有我
Stu!
斯图！
I want you to call Doug and tell him I'm never coming back.
我要给道格打电话，告诉他我不回去了
Gettin off the hamster wheel.
远离这失败的人生
Gonna stay here in Bangkok. I think I belong here.
我以后就呆在曼谷了 我想我是属于这里的
Open up a little dentists office.
开一个小牙医诊所
Deep cleanings, with a happy ending.
洗洗牙，安心过日子
You sure about this?
你确定?
Hey, what the crud!
嘿，搞什么鬼！
Powers out, Alan.
停电了，艾伦
- Phil! - Doug.
- 菲尔！ - 道格
- I need answers, man. - I know...
- 我需要答案，哥们 - 我知道…
Doug, who are you talking to?
道格，你在和谁说话？
- What? - Give me the phone!
- 什么? - 给我电话！
Lauren, no! That's a private...
劳拉，不！这是私人电话…
Who is this?
是谁?
- Lauren? - Phil? Tell me what's going on, right now!
- 劳拉? - 菲尔？告诉我怎么回事，马上！
We lost your little brother.
我们把你弟弟丢了
- What? - Bangkok has him now.
- 什么? - 他在曼谷下落不明
You gotta take the stairs.
得走楼梯
You're in Bangkok?
你们在曼谷?
Ooh, that's a finger!
呃，是个指头！
Put Stu on the phone!
让斯图接电话！
Bangkok experiences 1500 power outages per year.
曼谷每年停电1500小时
Stu really doesn't want to talk to anybody.
斯图现在不想和任何人说话
- Water everywhere. Powers out.
到处是水，停电了
Come on, Stu, use that big Jewish brain
拜托，斯图，用用你的大脑
Phil! Give me the phone!
菲尔！给我电话！
- It's Lauren! I got it! I'm handling it! - I know.!
- 劳拉的电话！没事！我来搞定！ - 我知道是劳拉！
- Give me the fuckin... - I can handle it, Stu!
- 给我电话… - 我能搞定，斯图！
She's gonna break your heart!
她会伤透你的心的！
Honey, sweetheart, it's me! I'm so sorry!
亲爱的，宝贝，是我，对不起啊！
Stu? What the hell is going on? What does he mean you lost Teddy?
斯图？到底怎么回事？泰迪丢了？
What? Is that what Phil said? No no no. We misplaced, Teddy.
什么？菲尔这么告诉你的？ 不，不，我们跟泰迪约错地方了
But we're all good now. We heading back to the hotel. We're gonna see you soon!
但是没事，我们正往酒店赶很快就能见到你了！
I love you so much! And I gotta go, but I'll see you soon. Bye.
我爱你！我得挂了，马上回去，再见
Stu!
斯图！
- Stu! - God!
- 斯图！ - 上帝！
Taxi!
出租车！
Come on, Alan!
跟上，艾伦！
Hey, you mind filling us in!
嘿，能给我们讲讲你想起什么了吗！
Ok, now when we woke up, the power was out.
好，记得我们醒来的时候，停电了
And you found Teddy's finger in what?
你在哪里发现了泰迪的指头？
- In a pool of water. - But it didn't start out as water.
- 在一滩水里 - 但那刚开始并不是水
No, it was ice.
对啊，是冰
Exactly! Teddy got ice from the machine...
没错！泰迪是从制冰机里拿的冰…
...came back to the room. Put his finger on ice and fell asleep.
…然后回到房间，把指头放到冰里，然后睡着了
Now what do you do if you wake up...
你试想一下，如果你醒来…
...and you find your finger floating in a bowl of melted ice?
…发现你的指头飘在一碗水里你会怎么做？
I'd get more ice, Stu... on the 15th fuckin floor!
我会去取更多的冰，斯图…去15楼取冰！
Yes! Teddy goes up, the power goes out...
是的！泰迪坐上电梯，忽然停电了…
- Holy shit! Of course! - He's at the ice machine.
- 狗屎的！原来是这样！ - 他在制冰机里
Alan, no!
艾伦，不对！
It's on ten!
电梯在10楼！
- Sir, is the elevator stuck? - ??.
先生，电梯是不是卡住了?
- C'mon! - Go, go, go!
- 快！ - 跑，跑！
Hey, Teddy!
嘿，泰迪！
Look out, look out!
小心，小心！
- Teddy! - You're ok!
- 泰迪！ - 你没事吧！
Teddy, you okay? You ok, man?
泰迪，你没事吧？你没事吧，哥们？
- Where am I? - You're in an elevator, in the middle of Bangkok.
- 我在哪里? - 你在电梯里，曼谷的电梯里
But we're gonna get you outta here. It's gonna be fine.
我们马上带你走，一切都会好的
Hey Stu, nice tattoo.
嘿，斯图，纹身不错
Thanks, man.
谢谢，哥们
Alright, let's do this! C'mon, c'mon!
好了，把他弄出来！快！
Tell him we found him. Yeah, I know. But we're on our way. Ok, bye!
告诉他我们找到泰迪了，是，我知道 -我们这就回去，好的，再见！
Alright, guests are arriving, people starting to ask questions,
好了，客人陆续都到了，人们开始问咋回事
but we can still pull this off!
但我们还能赶到！
- How? - I don't know, with a taxi?
- 怎么回去? - 我不知道，坐计程车?
- Chow's speed boat. - What?
- 用周的快艇 - 什么?
Last think I remember, was getting off Chow's speed boat.
我最后记得的是，我们从周的快艇上下来
- Chow has a speed boat? - "The Perfect Life".
- 周有个快艇? - 叫“完美人生”
C'mon!
走！
Stu, get that back line.
斯图，把绳子解开
Good jump, Phil!
跳得好，菲尔！
- You alright? - Yeah.
- 你没问题吧? - 没问题
- You sure you know how to drive this thing?
你确定你会开快艇？
Please, I was raised in a yacht club. I know what I'm doing.
拜托，我可是行家，我当然知道
You know where we're going?
你知道我们往哪儿开吗？
Leave it to the Captain!
交给船长我来解决吧！
Oh fuck you, Alan!
哦，别装逼了，艾伦！
Do you know where we're going, Captain?
你到底知不知道往哪儿开，船长？
Affirmative cadet! We're going south.
非常确定，菜鸟！ 我们向南行驶
- We're in the Gulf of Thailand. - Good.
- 我们在泰国湾 - 好的
Hey! You okay?
嘿！你没事吧？
- Feeling a little better. - Alright!
- 好一些了 - 那就好
Listen Teddy. I'm really sorry! We didn't mean for any of this to happen.
听着，泰迪，真的对不起！ 我们也不想发生这些事情
It's funny. I can't remember anything but...
挺有趣的，虽然我什么都不记得，但是…
when I woke up, I was kinda happy.
我起来的时候，我觉得挺高兴的
Yeah!
耶！
By the way... Do you have any idea where my finger is?
顺便问一句…你知道我的指头在哪儿吗？
Yeah, we gave it to a drug dealing monkey.
知道，我们把它给了一只贩毒的猴子
Bangkok...
曼谷…
Yeah, right... fuckin Bangkok!
是啊…他妈的曼谷！
I apologize. There will be no wedding!
对不起，婚礼取消了！
He is on his way. He will be here...
他在路上了，很快就到…
Please, if you will all move to the bar. We are going to clear this area.
请大家去酒吧休息吧 我们要清理这个会场了
Please!
谢谢！
I'm telling you, I spoke to him. He's coming.
我跟你说了，我跟他通了电话，他马上到
Look! There they are!
看！他们来了！
Stu!
斯图！
- Alan, there's no dock. - Just hang on!
- 艾伦，那里没码头 - 坐稳了！
- Alan, it's not funny! Turn the boat! - Hang on!
- 艾伦，这一点都不好玩！转一下方向！ - 坐稳了！
- Is that Alan driving the boat? - What?
- 是艾伦在开船吗? - 什么?
Uh, we should probably move back a little bit.
呃，我们应该往后退几步
Oh my god!
噢，上帝！
Turn the boat!
转个弯！
Everyone back up a little bit here.
大家都往后退
Sir, it's gonna get worse before it gets better.
先生，在事情变好之前，总有点糟糕
Hi! Hi everybody!
嗨！大家好！
Came in a little hotter than we planned. I'm sorry we trenched the lawn here.
出场比我们预计的要火爆 不好意思弄坏了草坪
Totally fixable. A little bit of sod, it'll be fine.
没事，都能修护，别担心
- Baby! - Oh my god!
- 宝贝！ - 哦，上帝！
I'm so happy to see you!
见到你我真高兴！
- Teddy! Teddy here. - Hi, Dad!
- 泰迪！来爸爸这里 - 嗨，老爸！
- You alright? - Yeah, ok.
- 你还好吗? - 嗯，我没事
- Your hand! - I know.
- 你的手！ - 我知道
We had an accident. I'm ok.
出了点小意外，我没事
This is your fault!
都是你的错！
- Dad. - He's right. I have not been completely honest.
- 爸 - 他说得对，我不够坦诚
- Stu? Don't do this. -Yeah?
- 斯图？别说了 - 嗯?
Thanks, Phil, but gonna do it.
谢谢，菲尔，但我得说出来
You said I'm a joke.Well I'm not.
你说我是个笑柄，但我不是
I'm not some weird, milky, ricy,
我不是什么怪怪的，乳状的，米做的
watery that you feed to infants and old people, ok!
烂烂的，喂小孩和老人的东西!
Maybe I would be if you added some cayenne pepper!
如果你加点辣椒粉的话我还有可能是！
I wish I was a boring dentist...
我也希望我是个无聊的牙医…
...who had a boring life and boring friends...
…过着无聊的生活，有一堆无聊的朋友…
... but I don't and I'm not.
…但我不是
I'm actually part of this weird wolf pack.
我是这个怪异狼群的一员
It's not weird. It's pretty cool actually. No membership fees.
不是怪异，是酷！而且不收会费
I've had enough of this. Come here.
我听够了，你给我过来
Whoa! Here's the deal man.
哇哦！告诉你
- I got a dark side!
我有黑暗的一面！
There's a demon in me!
我心里住着贞子！
It's true, he has semen in him.
是真的，他身体里有精子
I said demon.
我说的是贞子
But you also have semen in you, remember?
但你身体里确实有精子，不是吗？
Not relevant, but thank you, Alan.
不一回事，但是谢谢，艾伦
The point is, this demon takes me to some pretty weird places.
我要说的是，我身体里的贞子 把我带到了一些很危险的地方
We lost Teddy for two days in Bangkok.
我们在曼谷丢了泰迪两天
But that same demon took us to hell and back to find him.
但是同样的贞子，让我们找到了他 把他带回来
We took on Bangkok and we won.
我们战胜了曼谷，我们赢了
Now that's pretty fuckin cool if you ask me!
如果你问，我会说这感觉棒极了！
I love your daughter, and I'm gonna marry her.
我爱你的女儿，我要和她结婚
- Unless you have any problem with that? - I'm good.
- 除非你不愿意? - 我愿意
But all that said, it would actually mean a great deal to both of us...
但是，如果我们可以得到你TMD祝福…
...if we could just get your mother fucking blessing!
…将对我们意义重大！
Hey, Alan...
嘿，艾伦…
- That looks pretty cool shaved. - Thanks, Phil.
- 你的光头挺酷的 - 谢谢你，菲尔
You should shave your head too.
你也应该把你的剃了
- Why would I do that? - Well than we would look exactly alike.
- 为什么我要那么做? - 那样我们看上去就像双胞胎
- Take good care of my daughter, Stu. - I will.
- 好好照顾我女儿，斯图 - 我会的
I'm sorry we almost killed everyone with the boat.
非常抱歉我们差点用那艘船撞死大家
Just happy you're here.
只要你在这里就行了
And don't worry about the tattoo.
也别担心纹身
I'm gonna have it lasered as soon as we're home in LA.
我一回洛杉矶就洗掉它
- That's ok. I can get used to it. - Really?
- 没关系，我能适应它的 - 真的吗?
But for now, let's switch sides?
但是现在，我们还是换个位置吧?
- Yeah, ok. - Thank you.
- 哦，好吧 - 谢谢
Much better.
好多了
Dear family and friends. On behalf of Stu and Lauren...
亲爱的家人和朋友，我代表斯图和劳拉…
...I welcome all of you, to this marriage celebration.
…欢迎你们，来参加婚礼
We are here today to...
今天我们在这里…
Hey buddy. Can you hold on for a second.
嘿，哥们，你能停一下吗
Thank you.
谢谢
Hello? Hi everyone!
大家好？各位
My name's Alan Garner.
我叫艾伦·加纳
I want to thank the Asiatic people for allowing us in your land.
我要感谢亚洲人民让我们站在你们的土地上
I wanted to say that, um, I'm really happy to be here...
我想说的是，嗯，我真的很高兴在这里…
...and I have a wedding gift to present to Lauren and Stu.
…我有一份结婚礼物要送给劳拉和斯图
And um, a lot of thought has gone into this...
它代表我此刻的心情…
...and I hope that you appreciate it as much as I did, or going to.
…我希望你们大家能和我一样喜欢
Okay, guys!
好了，大伙！
Oh, fuck!
哦，靠！
Alan!
艾伦！
What the fuck?
这TMD是怎么回事?
- So what do ya think? - That's insane! How did you do that?
- 你觉得怎么样? - 真是棒透了！你怎么做到的?
My dad had to make a lot of calls.
我爸打了很多电话
I told Mike that you gotta do it. It's for my third best friend.
我告诉迈克（拳王泰森）你必须来 这是给我第三好的朋友
Alan, it's amazing! I love it! Thank you so much!
艾伦，太棒了！ 我爱这个！太谢谢你了！
We only have him for tonight. We don't have him permanently.
我们只有今晚能和他在一起 他不能一直和我们在一起的
Understood!
我理解！
- You do a lot of public speaking, Alan? - I barely ??
- 你总在公共场合演讲，艾伦? - 我哪有??
Mike, you were great. It's true, that was incredible.
迈克，你真是太棒了，真的，难以置信
Thanks, guys. That means a lot, really!
谢谢你们，这对我意义重大，真的！
By the way, you really need to remove that fuckin tattoo from your face!
还有，你TMD必须把这纹身洗掉
Yeah! On it!
是！当然！
Sorry about the last minute change up to the performance, Mike.
很抱歉在最后一刻改变了节目，迈克
- Don't worry, Alan. - What are you talking about?
- 没关系，艾伦 - 你在说什么？
Well he was originally supposed to sing "Burning Up" by the Jonas Brothers...
他原本应该唱乔纳斯兄弟的“烧起来”…
...but then I remembered you don't like indie rock.
…可是我记得你不喜欢独立摇滚
Hey guys. You're not gonna believe this.
嘿，兄弟们，说了你们也不信
- Is that your phone? - Yeah.
- 那是你的电话? - 是啊
How come you never tried calling us?
那你怎么没给我们打电话?
It's been dead for two days.
这两天都没电关机了
But I recharged it and found all these photos.
我充电后，发现了这些照片
What?
什么?
- Shit! - Yeah, some of it's pretty messed up.
- TMD！ - 嗯，有些可是很黄很暴力的
- Awesome, let's check em out. - Whoa, whoa, whoa!
- 棒极了，我们看看 - 哇哦，哇哦！
No one needs to see this stuff!
这东西不需要看了！
C'mon man! I'm Mike Tyson. I've seen everything!
别扯了！兄弟，我是迈克·泰森 我什么都见过！
- It'll be fine. - (mumbles something)
有什么关系
Alright, we look at it once.
好吧，我们只看一次
And then we delete them. It's gonna be ok.
然后就删了，不会有事的
- Oh, ooh! - Mother fucker!
- 噢，噢！ - 操蛋啊！