1
00:00:05,505 --> 00:00:08,065
Turk, I'm gonna go get some coffee.
Want one?
2
00:00:08,141 --> 00:00:10,507
Get me a small one-pump mocha.
3
00:00:10,610 --> 00:00:14,512
[J.D.] The perfect setup to a joke,
but no one's around to hear!
4
00:00:14,581 --> 00:00:16,674
Dude! Oh, God!
5
00:00:17,584 --> 00:00:20,553
[Screams] No! Dude!
6
00:00:20,620 --> 00:00:23,453
[Panting] So, what did
you want me to get you?
7
00:00:23,523 --> 00:00:24,785
A small one-pump mocha?
8
00:00:24,858 --> 00:00:28,294
Wasn't that your nickname
in high school? Hello!
9
00:00:29,362 --> 00:00:31,990
There's a guy waiting
to have his spleen removed!
10
00:00:32,065 --> 00:00:33,327
It was worth it.
11
00:00:35,568 --> 00:00:38,731
- Let's go, Per!
- I have been waiting for an hour.
12
00:00:38,838 --> 00:00:41,136
I know. I was leafing
through a magazine
13
00:00:41,207 --> 00:00:43,471
and watching you
on the security cameras.
14
00:00:43,543 --> 00:00:46,876
My favorite part is when you said,
"Screw her!" and stormed out!
15
00:00:46,946 --> 00:00:50,006
But then you came back
'cause you realized I have the keys.
16
00:00:50,083 --> 00:00:54,782
Jordan, now that you work here every
day, if the carpool torturing persists,
17
00:00:54,854 --> 00:00:57,618
I'm gonna put Plexiglas
down the middle of the car
18
00:00:57,724 --> 00:01:00,284
so you can't drive me crazy.
You can't, you can't.
19
00:01:00,393 --> 00:01:03,920
Unfortunately, your door handle
doesn't work from the inside,
20
00:01:03,997 --> 00:01:07,558
which simply means
that if we're in a fiery crash,
21
00:01:07,634 --> 00:01:09,295
you won't be able to get out.
22
00:01:09,369 --> 00:01:12,930
However, that's a risk
I'm sure willing to take.
23
00:01:15,341 --> 00:01:16,899
Jorderoo?
24
00:01:17,010 --> 00:01:18,637
Hello?
25
00:01:18,711 --> 00:01:22,203
I'm in here! You can't see me!
26
00:01:22,282 --> 00:01:24,750
Jordan! Oh.
27
00:01:24,818 --> 00:01:27,582
[J.D.] Not everyone
was in hell at theirjob.
28
00:01:27,687 --> 00:01:31,179
There was only one thing Elliot
didn't like about her new hospital:
29
00:01:31,257 --> 00:01:33,225
Charlie, her co-fellow.
30
00:01:34,160 --> 00:01:36,219
- [EIliot screams]
- [Coffee splashes]
31
00:01:38,665 --> 00:01:40,030
Good morning, Charlie.
32
00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:43,035
Wanna work on osteogenesis
imperfecta therapy with me?
33
00:01:43,103 --> 00:01:47,039
I'll tell you the same thing I told you
when you popped out of that HAZMAT bin:
34
00:01:47,107 --> 00:01:50,372
I work alone, and you have
somebody else's blood on your neck.
35
00:01:50,443 --> 00:01:52,707
Take a shower, man.
36
00:01:52,779 --> 00:01:54,906
Fine. I'll just go.
37
00:01:54,981 --> 00:01:56,744
[EIliot sighs]
38
00:02:00,186 --> 00:02:02,211
[EIliot screams]
39
00:02:02,288 --> 00:02:03,585
Yes!
40
00:02:03,656 --> 00:02:06,284
That is an intern in a bald cap.
41
00:02:08,962 --> 00:02:10,930
I hate ya, Charlie.
42
00:02:13,133 --> 00:02:14,998
[J.D.] Hippocratic oath on three!
43
00:02:15,068 --> 00:02:18,834
- One, two, three!
- "First do no harm"!
44
00:02:18,938 --> 00:02:21,771
There it is!
All right, kick some ass today, guys!
45
00:02:21,841 --> 00:02:25,174
Except for Mr. Woodson in 302.
He's got that rectal tear...
46
00:02:25,245 --> 00:02:28,408
You seem to be developing
a rapport with your interns.
47
00:02:28,481 --> 00:02:31,041
We even built a house for the homeless.
48
00:02:31,151 --> 00:02:32,778
How'd that go?
49
00:02:38,558 --> 00:02:40,389
Rex.
50
00:02:47,834 --> 00:02:50,997
In my defense,
who wears a tie to a construction site?
51
00:02:51,104 --> 00:02:54,801
I believe in team-building.
And I'd make my interns agree with me,
52
00:02:54,874 --> 00:02:57,934
but they're in a timeout
because one of them used the phrase,
53
00:02:58,011 --> 00:02:59,376
"Let's rock and roll."
54
00:02:59,445 --> 00:03:01,970
When you're an intern,
you get treated like crap.
55
00:03:02,048 --> 00:03:04,676
When you're in a position of power,
you do the same.
56
00:03:04,751 --> 00:03:08,847
It's inevitable, like the tide, or the
awkward toast I'm going to have to give
57
00:03:08,922 --> 00:03:10,446
at my son's big gay wedding.
58
00:03:10,523 --> 00:03:14,391
Mark my words: Eventually you'll treat
them like dirt like the rest of us do.
59
00:03:14,460 --> 00:03:18,396
Sir, I'd love to chat, but it's
already eight. I gotta rock and roll.
60
00:03:18,464 --> 00:03:20,125
I beg your pardon?
61
00:03:20,567 --> 00:03:23,695
- I'm an attending!
- Tell it to the wall, Newbie!
62
00:03:24,837 --> 00:03:28,068
# I can't do this all on my own
63
00:03:28,141 --> 00:03:31,770
# No, I know
I'm no Superman
64
00:03:34,881 --> 00:03:36,815
# I'm no Superman #
65
00:03:39,686 --> 00:03:41,153
[chuckling]
66
00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:43,451
- The answer's two.
- What?
67
00:03:43,523 --> 00:03:46,890
How many janitors does it take
to change a light bulb? Two.
68
00:03:46,960 --> 00:03:49,724
That doesn't make any sense.
Hank's an electrician.
69
00:03:49,796 --> 00:03:52,822
- And you are not funny.
- I'm very funny.
70
00:03:52,899 --> 00:03:56,460
Earlier, I made a killer "one-pump
mocha" joke. Everybody laughed.
71
00:03:56,569 --> 00:03:58,935
I bet nobody laughed,
but you didn't notice
72
00:03:59,005 --> 00:04:01,371
'cause you were doing
that self-laugh you do
73
00:04:01,441 --> 00:04:03,466
when you think you're being funny.
74
00:04:03,876 --> 00:04:05,901
Was that your nickname
in high school?
75
00:04:05,979 --> 00:04:07,879
[J.D. Laughing]
76
00:04:08,414 --> 00:04:10,109
[Continues chuckling]
77
00:04:10,183 --> 00:04:13,152
Anyhoo, have a good one, Lurch.
78
00:04:13,253 --> 00:04:16,711
[J.D.] I had to skedaddle because
today was burger day in the caf.
79
00:04:16,789 --> 00:04:18,848
And that meant one thing:
80
00:04:18,925 --> 00:04:23,385
75 hungry employees,
and one bottle of ketchup.
81
00:04:24,397 --> 00:04:26,888
- Got the ketchup.
- And here is your burger.
82
00:04:26,966 --> 00:04:29,025
Oh, frick, I forgot my burger!
83
00:04:30,436 --> 00:04:34,133
- No, she didn't.
- [Both laughing]
84
00:04:34,540 --> 00:04:36,599
She never invites us to her hospital.
85
00:04:36,676 --> 00:04:38,940
She doesn't
want you guys embarrassing her.
86
00:04:39,012 --> 00:04:40,502
How would we embarrass her?
87
00:04:40,580 --> 00:04:44,072
Oh, maybe by diagnosing all your
female patients with "Turk fever"?
88
00:04:44,150 --> 00:04:47,381
- A lot of women suffer from that.
- It's true. I even had it.
89
00:04:48,154 --> 00:04:50,520
Or that stupid Siamese twin
thing you do?
90
00:04:50,590 --> 00:04:52,217
[Zipping sounds]
91
00:04:52,292 --> 00:04:54,783
Multi-Ethnic Siamese Doctor?
Bite, please.
92
00:04:54,861 --> 00:04:57,227
- Here it is.
- [Growls]
93
00:04:57,330 --> 00:05:00,060
Mmm. That's headed right
to our joint colon!
94
00:05:00,133 --> 00:05:01,998
Yeah, I think I've made my point.
95
00:05:02,835 --> 00:05:08,330
So tell me something, Carla, has she
invited you to her new hospital, hmm?
96
00:05:09,142 --> 00:05:10,302
[J.D.] Victory sip!
97
00:05:11,511 --> 00:05:13,411
- [Slurps]
- Ahh!
98
00:05:13,479 --> 00:05:15,447
Daphne, ketchup!
99
00:05:19,819 --> 00:05:21,446
Is this seat taken?
100
00:05:23,289 --> 00:05:24,950
Ketchup is for winners, Ted.
101
00:05:26,526 --> 00:05:29,359
Jordan, you have
to make other friends in this place.
102
00:05:29,429 --> 00:05:32,193
The only respite I get
is when we're making love
103
00:05:32,265 --> 00:05:34,096
and I pretend you're someone else.
104
00:05:34,167 --> 00:05:37,398
Yeah, I usually pretend
we're doing something else.
105
00:05:40,406 --> 00:05:41,703
Damn it!
106
00:05:44,510 --> 00:05:47,240
I am your new friend, so suck it!
107
00:05:47,880 --> 00:05:50,849
- I gotta go talk to my boys.
- And I have to go talk to Elliot.
108
00:05:50,950 --> 00:05:52,076
Wait, don't leave me!
109
00:05:52,151 --> 00:05:55,780
So I hear you and the wife
are trying for a boy. Little tip:
110
00:05:55,855 --> 00:05:59,723
The night that Perry and I
conceived Jack, he was on top,
111
00:05:59,792 --> 00:06:02,955
it was about three days
before my ovulation... yeah.
112
00:06:03,062 --> 00:06:05,826
Oh, and he was choking me.
Oh, it was so good.
113
00:06:05,898 --> 00:06:08,196
OK, I'm just gonna...
114
00:06:08,735 --> 00:06:10,100
My boys need the ketchup!
115
00:06:14,207 --> 00:06:16,971
That's a lot of boys.
Rex gets first dibs
116
00:06:17,076 --> 00:06:20,443
because I opened his chest
with a buzz saw.
117
00:06:20,513 --> 00:06:21,741
J.D.! Ketchup!
118
00:06:24,450 --> 00:06:26,418
I gotta get back to my hospital.
119
00:06:26,486 --> 00:06:29,046
I was thinking I'd come by
and visit you tomorrow.
120
00:06:29,155 --> 00:06:31,282
Tomorrow's not great,
121
00:06:31,357 --> 00:06:34,485
but we'll definitely do it sometime,
you know, in the future.
122
00:06:36,229 --> 00:06:39,062
We were having Mexican food,
drinking margaritas...
123
00:06:39,132 --> 00:06:42,101
Carla? What are you doing here?
124
00:06:42,168 --> 00:06:44,329
Hey. Let me finish
telling them this story.
125
00:06:44,437 --> 00:06:47,873
We were at this tiny
little ATM machine...
126
00:06:48,374 --> 00:06:50,740
I knew I shouldn't
have had that chimichanga.
127
00:06:50,843 --> 00:06:52,868
I have to... you know...
128
00:06:52,945 --> 00:06:55,311
- Hnn-hnn?
- Fft-fft.
129
00:06:55,381 --> 00:06:56,473
Oh.
130
00:06:56,549 --> 00:06:59,882
Go for it. There's guys here.
They'll never think it was you.
131
00:07:01,587 --> 00:07:03,145
[Tiny squeak]
132
00:07:04,957 --> 00:07:08,393
- I think that blonde girl just farted.
- [Sighs]
133
00:07:09,195 --> 00:07:13,325
- Remember that, Elliot?
- Yeah, I remember. Ha-ha.
134
00:07:14,100 --> 00:07:17,763
Those two new nurses
have wonderful breasts.
135
00:07:17,837 --> 00:07:20,328
Hey! They have names.
136
00:07:20,406 --> 00:07:25,070
Tina, Marge, Sloppy and Mr. Snuggles.
137
00:07:25,144 --> 00:07:27,840
Sloppy's bigger than Mr. Snuggles.
138
00:07:27,914 --> 00:07:31,281
- What are you guys talking about?
- Oh, we were just...
139
00:07:31,350 --> 00:07:33,648
- [gust of wind]
- [Chair squeaks]
140
00:07:35,555 --> 00:07:37,648
Guess they all had someplace to be.
141
00:07:37,723 --> 00:07:39,213
- Just go!
- OK!
142
00:07:39,859 --> 00:07:44,353
Hey! If you feel like talking,
I've got a dandy conversation starter.
143
00:07:44,430 --> 00:07:47,558
I have had someone else's fingers
in four, count 'em, four,
144
00:07:47,633 --> 00:07:49,396
different orifices today.
145
00:07:49,502 --> 00:07:51,265
Oh, must be your birthday.
146
00:07:51,370 --> 00:07:56,672
OK, gang, I'll meet you up in Radiology
to talk about Mr. Heath's CAT scan.
147
00:07:56,742 --> 00:08:00,769
His tumor's getting so big,
it's starting to look like a "threemor"!
148
00:08:04,617 --> 00:08:05,743
Not funny.
149
00:08:05,818 --> 00:08:09,254
Have you been following me around
all day dressed like an intern?
150
00:08:09,322 --> 00:08:13,281
Yes. And you're a terrible teacher.
I'm not prepared to operate on anyone.
151
00:08:13,359 --> 00:08:16,226
Whatever. If it wasn't funny,
why did they all laugh?
152
00:08:16,295 --> 00:08:19,264
Wake up and smell the urinal
I haven't cleaned in years!
153
00:08:19,365 --> 00:08:22,027
Everybody kisses the ass
of the person above them.
154
00:08:25,238 --> 00:08:29,004
I was going to be a cardiologist,
but I didn't have the heart.
155
00:08:32,345 --> 00:08:36,111
I was going to be a psychiatrist,
but I was a-Freud.
156
00:08:36,883 --> 00:08:38,373
Yeah!
157
00:08:38,451 --> 00:08:42,615
I was gonna be a doctor,
but I didn't have the patients.
158
00:08:45,024 --> 00:08:48,460
I was gonna be a baker,
but I couldn't raise the dough.
159
00:08:48,528 --> 00:08:50,223
That's funny.
160
00:08:50,296 --> 00:08:54,027
You know, I was gonna have her
bring you some chicken, but it was fowl!
161
00:08:54,100 --> 00:08:55,931
I know.
162
00:08:56,002 --> 00:09:00,837
You get it now? Your relationship
with your interns is a sham.
163
00:09:00,907 --> 00:09:03,171
That dog just laughed at a pun.
164
00:09:06,779 --> 00:09:09,145
Ooh, not gonna lie to you, that hurts.
165
00:09:09,248 --> 00:09:12,706
- Tell me about your kid.
- Oh, how'd you know I was a mom?
166
00:09:12,785 --> 00:09:15,049
As a parent,
I can read the signs, you know?
167
00:09:15,121 --> 00:09:18,284
Let us not forget the understated
coffee mug we're carrying.
168
00:09:18,357 --> 00:09:19,847
[Jordan] Oh.
169
00:09:19,926 --> 00:09:25,489
- How do I know that guy?
- Maybe you used to date him?
170
00:09:25,598 --> 00:09:28,567
Oh, that's so clever. I'm gay.
Wow, that's good.
171
00:09:28,668 --> 00:09:33,230
I'm tired. Maybe he is from the
International Pretentious Association,
172
00:09:33,306 --> 00:09:36,241
and he's here to remove your goatee.
173
00:09:36,309 --> 00:09:37,970
What do you have, a boy or a girl?
174
00:09:38,044 --> 00:09:42,572
I have a little girl.
I don't get to see her often enough.
175
00:09:42,648 --> 00:09:46,709
See, I don't know, a few years ago
I had a little business problem.
176
00:09:46,786 --> 00:09:49,846
- What was your business?
- Import-export.
177
00:09:49,922 --> 00:09:51,947
Import heroin
into my bloodstream,
178
00:09:52,024 --> 00:09:55,892
I would export vomit and urine into
whatever alley would have me as a guest.
179
00:09:56,696 --> 00:10:01,326
Sorry, that's a little smile I get
when I'm silently judging someone.
180
00:10:02,134 --> 00:10:04,898
The thing is,
it's Jenny's sixth birthday on Monday,
181
00:10:04,971 --> 00:10:08,498
and I'm not really sure
that I can fly out and make it.
182
00:10:08,574 --> 00:10:10,701
It's... it's hard to get a job,
you know?
183
00:10:10,776 --> 00:10:14,405
Money's tight, I've got
hospital bills that I can't pay.
184
00:10:15,681 --> 00:10:19,447
- Sam, I am so sorry.
- Yeah...
185
00:10:24,857 --> 00:10:26,415
I know who he is!
186
00:10:26,993 --> 00:10:30,952
- One little problem...
- Oh, my God! Just give me the drugs!
187
00:10:31,030 --> 00:10:33,897
For God's sake, I've been
working you from every angle!
188
00:10:33,966 --> 00:10:37,333
That's the junkie who conned Elliot
into giving him meds!
189
00:10:38,137 --> 00:10:40,628
It just got interesting, people!
190
00:10:40,706 --> 00:10:42,071
The Janitor was wrong.
191
00:10:42,141 --> 00:10:45,304
My interns weren't laughing at my jokes
because I'm their boss!
192
00:10:45,411 --> 00:10:49,040
It made me think about how some people
don't wanna just open the door,
193
00:10:49,115 --> 00:10:51,549
walk in and see the truth.
194
00:10:51,917 --> 00:10:54,249
Why did you come here, Carla?
195
00:10:54,320 --> 00:10:58,051
You're mad at me? Why didn't
you want me to come to your job?
196
00:10:58,124 --> 00:11:01,491
Hey, Bankfarter! If you want,
we're all going down for lunch.
197
00:11:01,594 --> 00:11:03,824
You tell me.
198
00:11:03,896 --> 00:11:07,127
After all, the truth can reveal
the ugliest part of people.
199
00:11:07,199 --> 00:11:12,432
That guy has conned damn near everyone
in this hospital. We've gotta warn her.
200
00:11:13,439 --> 00:11:15,498
Jordan! Whoa!
201
00:11:20,079 --> 00:11:23,378
She wanted to work here. Let her
see what it's like to work here!
202
00:11:23,449 --> 00:11:26,282
And for God's sake,
will you be a man?!
203
00:11:28,721 --> 00:11:32,555
[J.D.] As for me, I already knew
exactly what the truth was.
204
00:11:32,625 --> 00:11:36,459
Plus, my best friend
was always around to back me up.
205
00:11:36,529 --> 00:11:38,087
How funny is this joke?
206
00:11:38,164 --> 00:11:44,034
That patient's tumor is so big, it's
starting to look like a "threemor."
207
00:11:45,137 --> 00:11:49,005
"Threemor"! You are hilarious, Dr. D!
208
00:11:49,075 --> 00:11:52,010
Awful. Awful!
209
00:11:53,813 --> 00:11:54,837
Awful.
210
00:11:57,149 --> 00:11:59,640
[J.D.] OK, be cool. They're just kids.
211
00:11:59,719 --> 00:12:02,381
Except Gloria. What is her deal?
212
00:12:04,523 --> 00:12:08,186
OK, guys, let's talk for a second
as equals. All right?
213
00:12:08,260 --> 00:12:12,629
Seriously, I'm taking off my
stethoscope and my little name tag.
214
00:12:12,698 --> 00:12:16,156
- I'm not a doctor right now.
- You're still wearing scrubs.
215
00:12:18,237 --> 00:12:19,932
We are in a hospital, man.
216
00:12:20,906 --> 00:12:23,875
OK, we're off the property.
Now let's talk.
217
00:12:23,943 --> 00:12:26,878
- Shouldn't we wait for Gloria?
- Coming!
218
00:12:26,946 --> 00:12:31,406
We'll catch her up later. Have you guys
been fake-laughing at my jokes?
219
00:12:31,484 --> 00:12:35,181
Be honest. I promise,
absolutely no ramifications.
220
00:12:35,254 --> 00:12:37,085
We've been kind of fake-laughing.
221
00:12:37,156 --> 00:12:39,989
I hope you die a violent death
and bugs eat your corpse.
222
00:12:40,059 --> 00:12:44,894
Look, your jokes kind of suck, and when
I laugh, you pick me to do procedures.
223
00:12:44,964 --> 00:12:49,333
Unbelievable. From now on, there
is absolutely no laughing at my jokes
224
00:12:49,435 --> 00:12:52,734
unless they're particularly hysterical.
225
00:12:52,805 --> 00:12:55,365
Talk about your Mission: Impossibles.
226
00:12:57,977 --> 00:12:59,342
Case closed.
227
00:12:59,445 --> 00:13:01,345
What is it with you and costumes?
228
00:13:01,413 --> 00:13:04,109
I borrowed it from my brother.
He's a stripper.
229
00:13:04,183 --> 00:13:08,142
- I'm... I'm here!
- Gloria...
230
00:13:09,688 --> 00:13:14,216
Look, Carla, I didn't want you
to come here because, well...
231
00:13:14,293 --> 00:13:16,989
Look, there's so much great about you.
232
00:13:17,062 --> 00:13:18,586
You're smart, you're loyal,
233
00:13:18,664 --> 00:13:21,827
you've shattered my preconceived
notions about Chicanos!
234
00:13:21,901 --> 00:13:24,028
Elliot, bring it.
235
00:13:24,103 --> 00:13:25,934
You're a bit of a gossip.
236
00:13:26,005 --> 00:13:28,530
So? I'm interested in people's stories!
237
00:13:28,607 --> 00:13:31,906
Thanks to you, for the rest of my career
I have the worst nickname!
238
00:13:31,977 --> 00:13:34,502
Bankfarter's not so bad.
It sounds German.
239
00:13:34,580 --> 00:13:37,447
[Speaking German]
240
00:13:37,516 --> 00:13:42,010
Hey, Bankfarter, did you hear? Charlie
found a successful gene therapy for O.I.
241
00:13:42,087 --> 00:13:43,850
He basically cured the disease.
242
00:13:43,923 --> 00:13:46,357
How did he have time
when he was torturing me?
243
00:13:46,425 --> 00:13:48,791
Jealousy's an ugly color, Bankfarter.
244
00:13:48,894 --> 00:13:51,385
Anyway, we're
discontinuing your fellowship.
245
00:13:52,097 --> 00:13:56,431
Frick. Frick, frick, frick, frick,
frickety-frick-frick-frick.
246
00:13:56,502 --> 00:13:58,163
Frick...
247
00:14:02,775 --> 00:14:07,075
I'm not sure how people
go about doing nice things...
248
00:14:07,146 --> 00:14:11,276
...but here. You should be there
for your daughter's birthday.
249
00:14:11,350 --> 00:14:13,318
I can't take that.
250
00:14:13,419 --> 00:14:16,547
Come on. I can't even
Botox an ear with this.
251
00:14:19,291 --> 00:14:21,225
Would everyone please watch this?
252
00:14:21,293 --> 00:14:24,262
Because nobody,
but nobody, cries like Sammy.
253
00:14:24,330 --> 00:14:27,629
He leads off with the chin quiver.
254
00:14:28,667 --> 00:14:31,227
Then he goes right to the look-away.
255
00:14:31,337 --> 00:14:35,899
He tries to hold it back but he just
can't because there's too much pain!
256
00:14:37,042 --> 00:14:42,344
And then finally,
he squeezes out one single... tear.
257
00:14:43,282 --> 00:14:45,375
[Cox fakes cries]
258
00:14:45,451 --> 00:14:48,579
Ladies and gentlemen,
that is quality Crack Addict Theater!
259
00:14:48,654 --> 00:14:50,588
I can't watch this.
260
00:14:50,656 --> 00:14:55,025
Then move your big, bald biscuit head!
Some of us don't have cable.
261
00:14:56,295 --> 00:15:01,130
This is a little trust exercise that I
really think's gonna connect us again.
262
00:15:01,200 --> 00:15:03,760
Remove your blindfolds, please.
263
00:15:06,839 --> 00:15:10,104
See your death.
See your death.
264
00:15:10,175 --> 00:15:12,439
See your death.
265
00:15:12,511 --> 00:15:16,003
Keith. Don't worry, buddy, we're cool.
266
00:15:16,081 --> 00:15:18,140
- Really?
- No! See your death!
267
00:15:18,217 --> 00:15:21,914
No! But I looked up to you!
268
00:15:23,989 --> 00:15:26,822
[Chattering]
269
00:15:26,892 --> 00:15:30,020
Hey! Why don't you guys
go upstairs and do some work?
270
00:15:30,963 --> 00:15:33,932
And for God sakes,
will somebody wake up Gloria?
271
00:15:37,836 --> 00:15:42,330
OK, enough waving. You wave too much.
You abuse waving. Go.
272
00:15:42,942 --> 00:15:45,103
There it is, just like I said.
273
00:15:45,210 --> 00:15:48,475
I can feel your hatred
like a cool spring breeze.
274
00:15:48,547 --> 00:15:50,481
Ahh.
275
00:15:54,320 --> 00:15:56,083
[J.D.] Gloria...
276
00:15:59,558 --> 00:16:03,517
- I can't believe I don't have a job!
- Is that even yours?
277
00:16:03,595 --> 00:16:06,257
I need your support right now, Carla!
278
00:16:06,332 --> 00:16:10,666
Carla, you cannot tell Turk and J.D.
About this until I get back on my feet.
279
00:16:10,736 --> 00:16:12,294
Why? They'll feel bad for you.
280
00:16:12,404 --> 00:16:15,066
No, they'll be merciless.
281
00:16:15,140 --> 00:16:18,701
Seriously, if you tell, I will
never trust you again with anything.
282
00:16:28,187 --> 00:16:30,314
- Where've you been?
- Nowhere!
283
00:16:31,190 --> 00:16:33,158
- What're you doing?
- Nothing!
284
00:16:33,625 --> 00:16:36,287
- How's Blonde Doctor?
- Jeez!
285
00:16:37,429 --> 00:16:39,897
- What's the dish?
- I gotta go.
286
00:16:39,965 --> 00:16:43,128
- Hey!
- ¡No hablo inglés!
287
00:16:43,235 --> 00:16:47,262
My God, you got that saliva on your lip
that says you know something juicy!
288
00:16:47,339 --> 00:16:50,570
- No, I don't.
- Here it comes!
289
00:16:50,642 --> 00:16:52,701
[Turk] Yes!
290
00:16:52,778 --> 00:16:56,737
- Oh, OK, here's the scoop!
- Yes, here is the scoop, indeed.
291
00:16:56,849 --> 00:16:59,409
- You gotta promise not to tell.
- [Turk] I know.
292
00:17:04,590 --> 00:17:07,081
Sam? What are you doing back here?
293
00:17:07,159 --> 00:17:09,059
Hey, lamb chop. Crazy story. I was...
294
00:17:09,128 --> 00:17:12,097
I was taking a bus to my plane ticket,
there was an accident,
295
00:17:12,197 --> 00:17:14,563
and thank God I'm alive.
I'd hug you, but I...
296
00:17:14,666 --> 00:17:17,499
...ahh, you know.
[Chuckles]
297
00:17:17,569 --> 00:17:22,268
Jordan. This is one of our most famous
con artist/drug addicts.
298
00:17:22,341 --> 00:17:24,866
- Nice to see you, sir.
- You as well.
299
00:17:24,943 --> 00:17:27,707
Turkelton?
You've dealt with him before.
300
00:17:27,813 --> 00:17:30,304
- Hey, dude.
- Why didn't you tell her?
301
00:17:30,382 --> 00:17:32,714
'Cause he told me not to!
302
00:17:34,553 --> 00:17:37,852
- This is gonna cost you.
- Get off my back, I'm not in the mood.
303
00:17:37,923 --> 00:17:39,220
Oh!
304
00:17:41,593 --> 00:17:42,753
Say it again!
305
00:17:42,861 --> 00:17:44,692
Get off my back, I'm not in the mood?
306
00:17:44,763 --> 00:17:48,255
That's what she said!
Zoom, zoom, zoom!
307
00:17:50,469 --> 00:17:54,337
OK, I'm sure you know about it.
Go ahead, take your shots.
308
00:17:55,707 --> 00:17:56,765
You've got bug eyes.
309
00:17:56,842 --> 00:17:59,970
Because you dye your mustache
blonde doesn't mean it's gone.
310
00:18:00,045 --> 00:18:02,172
That's all that you have to say?
311
00:18:03,882 --> 00:18:05,110
Excuse us.
312
00:18:05,184 --> 00:18:07,618
- Oh, my God! You kept a secret!
- I know!
313
00:18:07,686 --> 00:18:10,348
I almost told them,
but I didn't because I love you.
314
00:18:10,422 --> 00:18:12,390
I love you too!
315
00:18:13,926 --> 00:18:17,885
Oh! I... I had to tell Turk something,
so you smoke a pipe now.
316
00:18:17,963 --> 00:18:19,931
Ah. Coolio!
317
00:18:23,202 --> 00:18:24,760
[Both sigh]
318
00:18:24,870 --> 00:18:26,531
- What's wrong?
- [Both] Well...
319
00:18:26,605 --> 00:18:29,631
We were gonna do Multi-Ethnic
Siamese Doctor Has a Fresca,
320
00:18:29,708 --> 00:18:31,938
but Turk got
on my case about my interns!
321
00:18:32,010 --> 00:18:34,774
He's mad because they're sucking up.
I was sayin',
322
00:18:34,847 --> 00:18:37,338
"That's the same thing
you did with Dr. Cox."
323
00:18:37,416 --> 00:18:40,146
Know what? Put our right hand
in front of your face.
324
00:18:40,219 --> 00:18:42,187
Now talk to it!
325
00:18:42,254 --> 00:18:45,815
J.D., he's right. If you want
to be a jerk attending too, go ahead.
326
00:18:45,924 --> 00:18:48,415
Don't do it because they resent you.
Not fair.
327
00:18:48,494 --> 00:18:50,985
Dude, get up.
I gotta go to the bathroom.
328
00:18:52,097 --> 00:18:55,555
[J.D.] As I went to the men's room,
praying he only had to go onesies,
329
00:18:55,634 --> 00:18:58,660
I thought about the different methods
people use to teach.
330
00:18:58,737 --> 00:19:01,706
[# Michael Tolcher: Sooner or Later]
331
00:19:08,380 --> 00:19:11,042
I wasn't sure if you wanted
to give him more money
332
00:19:11,116 --> 00:19:14,142
or skip the middleman
and actually give him narcotics.
333
00:19:14,219 --> 00:19:18,349
So I went ahead and brought your
ATM card and a heroin sandwich.
334
00:19:20,159 --> 00:19:22,855
It's not heroin, it's smoked turkey.
335
00:19:22,928 --> 00:19:25,954
You thought if you made me look
like a fool, I'd quit?
336
00:19:26,031 --> 00:19:30,593
So, Jordan, I heard Sam got you. Don't
worry, he totally suckered me once.
337
00:19:30,669 --> 00:19:34,230
When I first started, I lent my car
to a patient to go pick up her kids.
338
00:19:34,339 --> 00:19:36,204
Last time I ever saw that IROC.
339
00:19:36,275 --> 00:19:38,743
Remember that patient
who stole your identity?
340
00:19:38,810 --> 00:19:40,334
Darryl! He's cool.
341
00:19:40,412 --> 00:19:43,904
From now on, he's only gonna
use my credit card for emergencies.
342
00:19:43,982 --> 00:19:47,884
It's a rite of passage that you have to
go through around here to be accepted.
343
00:19:47,953 --> 00:19:51,389
Oh, my God! You actually
did something nice for me!
344
00:19:51,456 --> 00:19:55,222
No, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
It was a selfish act.
345
00:19:55,327 --> 00:19:59,093
If other people talk to you,
you won't have to talk to me!
346
00:19:59,198 --> 00:20:00,665
Cute.
347
00:20:00,732 --> 00:20:03,997
[J.D.] I think it's always easier
to be a jerk than a good guy.
348
00:20:07,573 --> 00:20:09,700
Did we do something wrong, Dr. Dorian?
349
00:20:09,775 --> 00:20:11,936
You guys are fine.
You're doing a good job.
350
00:20:12,010 --> 00:20:13,375
Still, good guy or not,
351
00:20:13,445 --> 00:20:16,209
there's no reason why
you shouldn't enjoy the perks.
352
00:20:16,315 --> 00:20:18,340
You know what,
I want the laughter back!
353
00:20:21,053 --> 00:20:23,385
And you know what,
I liked it when you waved.
354
00:20:23,455 --> 00:20:26,390
That was nice.
Why don't all of you just wave!
355
00:20:27,526 --> 00:20:28,493
All right.
356
00:20:28,594 --> 00:20:30,459
[J.D.] You can deal with anything,
357
00:20:30,529 --> 00:20:34,465
as long as you have a group of friends
around to go through it all with you.
358
00:20:41,273 --> 00:20:42,740
Hey, guys. What's going on?
359
00:20:42,808 --> 00:20:46,710
I can't imagine what it would be like
if I were all on my own.
360
00:20:48,413 --> 00:20:52,941
Excuse me, can I please borrow
your "Help Wanted" section? Thank you!
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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