用人来比啊，我说像… In human terms? I'd say...
…西碧雪佛（著名电视明星） ... Cybill Shepherd.
你们是在电影里演出 还是你们有妄想症？ So you guys in the movie or you just really paranoid?
无法摆脱工作的压力？ Can't get the monkey off your back?
那就来一杯… Then put it in your mouth...
沙尔？ Hey,Sal?
杰利想知道 猴子可以上地铁那一幕了吗？ Jerry wants to know if the monkey's ready.
…猴子乐(原意为恶作剧)啤酒吧 ... with Monkeyshine Beer!
抱歉 Excuse me?
喝一口猴子乐 Get it,monkey
杰利是导演吗？他是哪一个？ Jerry is the director? Which one's he?
喝一口猴子乐 Get it,get it,monkey
就是坐在导演椅子那个 我懂了 -The one in the director's chair? -Gotcha.
猴子乐… Monkey,monkey
菲比，我们走 Pheebs,walk with me.
猴子乐啤酒 Monkeyshine Beer.
因为外面是一片丛林 Because it's a jungle out there!
我干嘛要跟你走？ Why am I walking with you?
我们只是要走过来这里 远离那些… We're just going over here so that we can get away from...
那个广告总是让我很难过 That commercial always makes me so sad.
但是那个家伙一开啤酒 女人就拥上来了… But then the guy opens his beer and girls run at him...
…嗜血肉的可怕病毒 ...the horrible flesh-eating virus!
…所以最后一切还好的 ...so everything works out okay.
看在老天的份上，听我说 For the love of God,woman,listen to me!
我的意思是 那只猴子让我想到了马修 I meant because the monkey reminds me of Marcel.
他有没有在看？有没有在看？ Is he looking? Is he looking?
我看得出来 I can see that.
他们都有棕色的大眼睛 还有鼓鼓的小下巴 Because they both have those big brown eyes and the little pouty chin.
（茱莉亚罗伯茨）我有个难题 告诉我啊 -We've got a problem. -Tell me.
而且他们都是猴子 And the fact that they're both monkeys?
我没有办法帮克丽化妆 I can't do Chris' makeup.
有时候我怀疑我是不是做错了 不应该把他送走 I wonder if I did the right thing,giving him away.
她拒绝承认她的嘴巴上有胡子 She refuses to acknowledge her mustache.
你必须这么做 他看到什么东西都要上 Ross,you had to. He was humping everything in sight.
很多吗？ 像眉毛掉到嘴上似的 -ls it bad? -lt looks like her eyebrow fell down.
除非有人说服她 让我帮她漂白… Unless we convince her to let me bleach it...
我的马里布芭比娃娃 结婚不能穿纯洁的白纱了 My Malibu Barbie will no longer be wearing white to her wedding.
…不然尚格云顿（动作明星）就得去跟加比卡普兰（男星）亲热了 ...Van Damme will be making out with Gabe Kaplan.
我去跟她谈谈 I'll talk to her.
记得有时他会跟你们借帽子… Remember when he'd borrow your hat...
我讨厌演员 I hate actors.
…等你要回来的时候里面会有 小小的猴子“葡萄干”？ ...and when you got it back,there'd be monkey raisins in it?
老兄，伪装得不错 我刚才差点没看到你 Nice camouflage. For a minute there,I almost didn't see you.
他喜欢开这个玩笑 He loved that joke
他干的就叫好玩 如果我对我老板这么做的话… When he did it,it was funny. When I did it to my boss's hat....
抱歉 Excuse me.
突然就变成了我的严重的“态度问题” Suddenly,I had this big "attitude problem."
你叫钱德吗？ Is your name Chandler?
对，没错 Yes,it is.
六人行 第2季 第12-13集 超级碗比赛之后 The One With the Super Bowl
钱德宾 Chandler Bing.
你认识我？ 还是你很会钓男人？ Do you know me or are you just really good at this game?
我是苏西莫斯 I'm Susie Moss.
四年级呀，戴眼镜 Fourth grade? Glasses?
我常常像拿手提包一样 拿一包动物饼干 I carried a box of animal crackers like a purse?
苏西莫斯 Susie Moss!
对呀，是呀 Right! Yeah! Wow!
你真是… You look....
发育得太棒了 Great job growing up.
很高兴看到你不再戴那顶 缀满小镜子的牛仔帽 It's nice to see you don't still wear the cap with the mirrors on it.
升上五年级之后 我发现我不是个男妓 I graduated fourth grade and realized I wasn't a pimp.
记得班上的话剧吗？ Remember the class play?
你掀我的裙子 全礼堂的人都看到我的内裤了 You pulled up my skirt and the entire auditorium saw my underpants?
对，那个时候 我用我的幽默感来保护自己 Yes. Back then,I used humor as a defense mechanism.
谢天谢地，我现在不用那样了 Thank God I don't do that anymore.
那么，儿童时代以来你一直在干什么呢？ So? What have you been doing since childhood?
你们看，猜我有什么？ Hey,check it out! Guess what I got?
押韵？ Rhythm?
哦，我有了条新的腰带 Well, I got a new belt.
不是，第一封影迷信 No. My first fan mail!
我很好奇 I wondered
亲爱的雷莫瑞医生： "Dear Dr. Ramoray:
我爱你，为了得到你 我可以不惜一切 I love you and would do anything to have you."
天啊… 怎么了？ -Oh,my God! -What? What?
“你不神秘的仰慕者 艾瑞克福特” My gosh! "Your not-so-secret admirer,Erika Ford."
是尚格云顿 It's Jean-Claude Van Damme.
我不知道他在这部电影里面 他好帅啊 I didn't know he was in this movie. He is so hot!
等一下 Oh,wait.
：“附注：随函附上了 我十四根的睫毛” "P.S. Enclosed,please find 14 of my eyelashes."
真的吗？ You think?
绰号“来自布鲁塞尔的肌肉”-悍将尚格云顿 The Muscles from Brussels? Wham-Bam-Van-Damme?
你看过“时空特警”吗？ Did you see Time Cop?
在疯子的世界里 那就表示你结婚了 In Crazy World,that means you're married.
没有啊，他演得很好吗？ No. Was he any good in it?
瑞秋，他完全改变了时空 Rachel,he totally changed time!
这不是寄到“我们的日子”的 这是直接送到你家去 It's not addressed to Days Of Our Lives. This came to your apartment.
那你过去跟他讲话嘛 So why don't you go talk to him?
她去过我们的大楼 She was in our building.
你过去告诉他，他很可爱 最糟能怎样呢？ Go tell him he's cute. What's the worst that could happen?
我的天啊 Oh,my God.
他会听到的 He could hear me.
我有我自己的变态影迷了 I got my very own stalker!
好吧，我去帮你讲 瑞秋，不要… -I'm doing it for you. -Don't you dare! Don't!
你真走运，我只能跟一群工作上的家伙分享 You' re so lucky.I have to share with guys at work.
不要 Don't!
告诉他我会做菜 Tell him I cook!
还记得我们讨论过好事坏事吗，这是件坏事 Remember we talked about "good thing,bad thing"?. This is a bad thing.
对不起 Excuse me.
这样会有一点怪怪的… This is gonna sound kind of goofy...
-嘿，大家 -嘿 -Hey, guys.-Hey.
…我那边那个朋友… ... but my friend over there...
你上哪儿去了？ Where are you off to?
因为洛杉矶有一个古生物学研讨会 There's a paleontology conference in L.A.
…她很会做菜… ...who cooks,by the way....
我会去，然后开车到动物园 给马修一个惊喜 So I figured I'd go and drive down to the zoo and surprise Marcel.
她觉得你很可爱 She thinks you're cute.
你不这么觉得吗？ You don't think I'm cute?
我想他会很惊喜的 直到他发现他是猴子… He will be surprised. Till he realizes he's a monkey...
我不知道 I don't know.
你觉得你可爱吗？ Do you think you're cute?
…他根本就没办法有那种情绪 ...and isn't capable of that emotion.
我们扯太远了 我是过来告诉你… We're getting off the track. I was supposed to tell you...
菲比，那个可爱的家伙又来了 Phoebe? That really cute guy is here again.
…我朋友她觉得你很可爱 ... my friend thinks you're cute.
各位… Okay,so everyone...
我该怎么告诉她呢？ What should I tell her?
…假装我在讲故事给你们听 故事非常的好笑 ... pretend I'm telling you a story and it's really funny.
告诉她 我觉得她的朋友，很可爱 You can tell her I think her friend is cute.
所以大家要笑 So everyone just laugh. Now!
我知道 I know,I know!
我叫罗伯杜南 I'm Rob Donan.
罗伯杜南 Hi,Rob Donan.
斯蒂芬赫斯为了钱而吃东西 Stephen Hurs would eat things for money.
我对音乐一窍不通 不过我觉得你非常棒 I don't know anything about music,but I think you're really great.
大卫斯坦没有手了 David Stein had no elbows.
就是那个被发现手淫的家伙？ Who got caught masturbating?
那不是他干的，他当时只是为了乘公交车的钱 That's not what he was doing.He was looking for his bus money.
我在替市里的儿童图书馆 安排艺人的演出 Anyway,I schedule performers for children's libraries.
我在想，你有没有想过 为小孩子演唱你的歌呢？ And I was thinking,have you thought about playing your songs for kids?
化妆 叫我了，我得走了 -Makeup! -That's me. I gotta go.
我好想要孩子… I would love to have kids...
我得碰你老兄的手多少次 你才会开尊口约我出去呢？ How many times must I touch you on the arm before you ask me on a date?
听我…听我演唱 我为他们写的歌 ...hear me play the songs that I will write for them.
我想再试一次 Well,let's try one more.
我们今天晚饭做什么？ What do we do for dinner?
我们可以留在家里吃自己啊 We could cook for ourselves.
我们去“厄尼”，八点钟 There you go. Ernie's,8:00?
我会到 I'll be there.
谁知道，一切顺利的话 或许这一次… And if things go well,maybe this time...
…我能看到你的内裤 ... I'll get to see your underwear.
我是艾瑞克 It's Erika.
上帝啊，变态影迷 My God. The stalker!
没关系，门没关 Never mind. It's open.
居然没人听到这句话？ No one was around to hear that?
对，用平底锅打她是个好主意 Hitting her with a frying pan is a good idea.
不过，我们应该想点别的 以防她不是卡通人物 But we want a backup plan,just in case she isn't a cartoon!
他怎么说？ So what'd he say?
离开这里 Let's get out of here!
他真浑蛋 What a jerk!
我一直在跟他谈你 可是他却一直想要约我 I kept talking about you,and he kept asking me out.
偏挑这个时候不在 The one time they're not home!
我当然是说不行 Naturally,you know,I said no.
我们走时 在楼梯上碰到的时候… We'll leave. When we pass her...
…她不会知道是我 因为我们没有见过啊 ...she won't know me,because we never met!
还是谢了 Thanks,anyway.
那是收音机明星逃避变态的方法 That's how radio stars escape stalkers!
但是他一直约我… He just kept asking...
…约我… ...and asking,asking,asking....
她来了 She's coming!
如果你想跟他约会的话就去啊 If you want to go out with him,you can.
他听起来像是个浑蛋，但… Sounds like a jerk to me,but
尚格云顿，她说好，今晚见 Jean-Claude,she said yes! I'll see you tonight!
是我 It's me.
就这样了，我们就这样死的 This is it. This is how we're gonna die.
谢谢 Thank you.
预备好了？ You ready?
等等… Wait,wait,wait!
波姬小丝（影星） Brooke Shields
然后 尚格云顿带我去“十字路口”… Then Jean-Claude took me to Crossroads...
艾瑞克 Erika!
…我们在那里 跟茱儿芭莉摩（女星）鬼混 ...and we hung out with Drew Barrymore.
老兄，她好惹火 Oh,man. She's so smokin'!
她有一对最炫的… She's got the greatest set of
这儿没男的？ No guys around,huh?
盖勒先生？ 是，嗨 -Mr. Geller? -Yes,hi.
迪恩利浦森，我是动物园的管理员 Dean Lipson,zoo administrator.
有谁需要什么吗？ 我来杯浓缩咖啡 -Does anybody need anything? -I'll have an espresso.
听说你有个问题，是不是？ You had a question?
我还是自己去拿 I'll get it.
叫你去的话 说不定最后会被你喝掉 If I ask you to,you'll end up drinking it yourself.
我似乎找不到我去年捐的猴子 他是一只卷尾猴… I can't find the monkey I donated last year. He's a capuchin...
…他的名字叫做马修？ ...answers to the name Marcel?
好不公平啊 我知道 -That is so unfair. -I know.
我恐怕有个坏消息要告诉你 I'm afraid I have some bad news.
你跟尚格云顿那样对她之后 还要喝她的咖啡吗？ Like you'd drink her coffee after what you did to her with Van Damme?
马修他已经过世了 Marcel has passed on.
乔伊，我要取消今晚的壁球 I have to cancel racquetball tonight.
天哪，怎么会呢？ Oh,my God. What happened?
马修的训练师会把马修让给我几个小时 Marcel's trainer will let me have him for a couple of hours.
他生病了，然后他病得很重… He got sick,and then he got sicker...
你为了猴子失我的约？ You're blowing me off for a monkey?
…然后他突然好了一点 ...and then he got a little better.
我们可以改星期六打呀 We can reschedule for Saturday.
然后就死了 But then he died.
对，除非你搭上一票鸽子 Unless you hook up with a bunch of pigeons.
我真不敢相信 I can't believe this!
很抱歉，盖勒先生 你也知道嘛，俗话说： I'm sorry,Mr. Geller. But you know,there's an old saying:
用叉子叉我… Stick a fork in me...
…我熟了 ... I am done!
“猴子难免一死” "Sometimes monkeys die."
用叉子什么？ Stick a fork what?
像你煎牛排那样啊 Like when you're cooking a steak.
不是很好的俗语… It's not a great saying...
我不吃肉的 I don't eat meat.
…用在今天却很贴切 ... but it certainly is fitting today.
那你怎么知道菜熟了呢？ How do you know vegetables are done?
不知道啊 只要吃一口就知道了 Well,you don't. You eat them and you can tell.
那应该有人通知我才对呀 对不起 -Someone should've called me. -I'm sorry.
我知道这不能够让他复活… Look,I know this can't bring him back...
那吃我吧，我熟了 Okay,then eat me,I'm done!
…这是我一点心意，请收下 ... but here,it's just a gesture.
我遇见完美的女人了 I've met the perfect woman.
动物园礼券？ Zoo dollars?
我们坐在沙发上 我们在亲热… We're sitting on her couch,fooling around...
对，四点请过来看一看鸟的表演 金刚鹦鹉戴帽子 Yes,and come see the bird show at 4. The macaws wear hats.
…突然她转过来对我说： ...and then she turns to me and says:
“你有想过在电梯里做吗？” "Did you ever want to do it in an elevator?"
你的猴子没死的话会可爱多了 It's a lot cuter if your monkey hasn't just died.
那你说什么？ What did you say?
我相信我的回答是… I believe my exact words were....
你怎么知道 要不要在电梯里做？ How do you know if you wanna do that?
你就是知道 You just know.
我知道 I know.
真不敢相信 乔伊去跟他的变态影迷吃饭 I can't believe Joey's having lunch with his stalker!
她长得怎么样？ What is she like?
你还记得“危情十日” 里面的凯西贝茨吗？ You remember Kathy Bates in Misery?
她长得跟她完全相反 Well,she looks the exact opposite of that.
我们得走了 三十分钟后订了餐厅位置 We gotta go. Got a reservation in 30 minutes.
她不是疯子吗？ And she's not crazy?
我的计划最多绝对不会 超过两，三分钟的 What I had planned shouldn't take more than two,three minutes,tops.
不，她只是神经有问题 Oh,no,no. She's a total whack-job.
她以为乔伊真的是德瑞克雷莫瑞医生 She thinks that Joey is actually Dr. Drake Ramoray.
两百秒钟的激情，我们得走了 Two hundred seconds of passion! We gotta go.
我的天哪 Oh,my God!
但是… But...
然后他还要去跟她约会？ And he's going out with her?
…我有个主意 ... here's an idea.
他不能这么做的 He cannot pursue this.
就因为这个女人以为她可以 在她的客厅魔盒里面看乔伊… Just because this woman sees Joey through the magical box...
你有没有穿过女人的内衣呀？ Have you ever worn women's underwear?
…并不表示她就不是人啊 ...in her living room doesn't mean she's not a person.
这个事实上，有… Well,yes,actually...
我是说，她应该得到快乐 也应该得到爱呀 Does she not deserve happiness? Does she not deserve love?
…是我艾达姑妈的 ... but they were my Aunt Edna's.
一条裤子里挤了三个人 And there were three of us in there.
你们看我干什么？ 想上那个疯子的是乔伊耶 Why are you looking at me? He's the one who wants to boff the maniac!
我在想，如果你今天… I was thinking it would be kind of sexy...
你还好吧？ Are you okay?
…晚饭的时候穿我的内衣 会蛮性感的 ...if you wore mine tonight at dinner.
不，我只是很紧张 No. I'm just nervous.
如果我幻想他们只穿内衣… Maybe if I just picture them all in their underwear....
不，那个主意不好 上个家伙就是那样被开除的 That's not a good idea. That's the reason the last guy got fired.
你要我穿你内裤？ You want me to wear your panties?
可以吗？ Could you?
若我穿了你内裤的话，那么… If I was wearing your underwear...
我只是…我习惯为大人演唱 I'm used to playing for grownups.
…你要穿什么？ ...then what would you be wearing?
大人只是… 边喝咖啡边做他们大人做的事 Grownups drink their coffee and do their grownup thing.
小孩呢… And kids...
…会专心听 ...Iisten.
你太棒了 You're swell!
我觉得这个责任好重大 It's just a huge responsibility.
怎么了？ What?
你要亲我吗？ Are you gonna kiss me?
音乐准备好了，饭菜也好了 Got the music. Got the dinner.
我正在考虑 I was thinking about it.
我做了马修最喜欢吃的菜 香蕉蛋糕… I made Marcel's favorite dish,banana cake...
…加了虫虫 ...with mealworm.
那好，好耶，咱们来些音乐 Alrighty! Let's play some tunes!
我们找地方坐吧，钱德 Let's go find our seats.Chandler?.
蜡烛啊 Candle.
你以为今天晚上 这儿会发生什么事啊？ What do you think's gonna happen here tonight?
等一下 Hold on a second.
他认为他可以 He thinks he can.
你正要过来… Hi,are you on your way over
哦，搞什么 Oh, what the hell?.
他可以 He can.
各位，我是菲比 菲比 -Hi,everybody. I'm Phoebe. -Hi,Phoebe!
不会…我理解 我是说，猴子得工作嘛 No,I understand. A monkey's gotta work.
不，没什么大不了的 It's no big deal.
现在我要唱一首 关于祖父母的歌 I'm gonna play some songs about grandparents,okay?
又不是说… 我计划了什么特别的 It's not like I had anything special planned.
奶奶走到哪里都大受欢迎 Now Grandma's a person Who everyone likes
好的，再见 Okay. Bye.
她送你火车跟一辆闪亮的自行车 She bought you a train And a bright shiny bike
但最近她不再来共进晚餐 But lately she hasn't Been coming to dinner
上回你看到她时 她看起来瘦多了 And last time you saw her She looked so much thinner
真遗憾 I'm sorry, man.
你妈跟你爸说她搬去秘鲁 Now your mom and your dad said She moved to Peru
事实上她死了，有一天你也会 But the truth is she died And someday you will too
-觉得怎么样？-什么？ -Feel that?.-What?
我们是不是应该松开手了 The moment we should have stopped holding hands?.
瑞秋 那我们就由你先开始说好了 Rachel,why don't you start talking first?
我要香烤鲑鱼 I'll have the grilled salmon.
好吧，我觉得 她这样是完全没道理的 I feel that this is totally unjustified.
这位医生要意大利调味饭 And the doctor will have the risotto
她说我可以的 我又没做什么… She gave me the green light,I did nothing
德瑞克，这真是太好了 是啊，没错 -Oh,Drake,isn't it amazing? -Yeah,it is.
你以为 我在电视上看不到你吗？ Do you think I can't see you in the TV set?
怎么了？ What?
现在我们轻松地坐在这儿… Well,here we sit,devil-may-care...
好了，莫妮卡 你有什么话要说就说好了… If there's something you'd like to share
…但不久前 你还在重注西蒙的脊髓 ...and a while ago you were reattaching Simone's spinal cord.
你没有这个权利跟他出去 You had no right to date him!
你这么说太荒唐了吧 你出卖我 -That's the most ridiculous -You sold me out!
是啊，那很复杂 That was a tricky one.
我才没有出卖你呢 有，你有 -I did not! -You absolutely
你让我讲好不好？ Would you let me talk!
事实上… In reality...
…那个手术要花上十几个钟头 可是他们只播了两分钟而已 ...that operation takes 10 hours. But they only showed it for 2 minutes.
你刚刚弹我的头？ Did you just flick me?
“他们”是谁？ Who's "they"?
你不让我说完，我只是想… Well,you wouldn't let me finish and I was
没有啦 No one.
好痛啊 That hurt!
德瑞克，你真有才华 让我看看那双手 Drake,you are so talented. Let me see those hands.
别弹了 Quit flicking!
你，你别弹了 Stop flicking!
这双美丽的手 Oh,these hands,these beautiful hands.
是你先弹的，是你先弹的 You flicked me first!
真想吃掉他们 I could just eat them.
但我不会 But I won't.
别这样，别这样嘛 Let's not do this!
不然我的手表一定会掉下来 Otherwise my watch would fall off.
想点快乐的事！ Happy thoughts!
不，说真的 No,seriously.
这双… These hands...
…救人无数，创造奇迹的手 ...these miracle,magical,life-giving hands.
只要靠近，抚摸 或许甚至舔一只就好了 Just to be near them,touch them,maybe even lick one?
好吧，我要教训人了 Now I'm gonna kick some ass!
好吧，一只就好了 All right. Just one.
好吧 你们住手的话我就放手 All right. Now,I will let go if you both stop.
你要我不再见他吗？ You want me to stop seeing him?
你很行耶 You're good at that.
你要我打电话给他 告诉他你要替我跟他约会吗？ You want me to just tell him you're seeing him instead?
天哪，来人哪，他噎住了 Oh,my God! Someone! He's choking!
这里有没有医生？ Is anyone here a doctor?
你想这样吗？ Is that what you want?
塞林镇最好的医生就在这儿 Yes,the best doctor in Salem!
你就是想这样？ 是的 That's what you want?
德瑞克雷莫瑞医生 Dr. Drake Ramoray!
很好 很好 -Fine! -Fine!
好了 There we go.
我们要是在监狱里的话 你们就会是我的贱女人 If we were in prison,you guys would be,like,my bitches.
你十五分钟之后到夜行馆等我 Meet me in the nocturnal house in 15 minutes.
谢谢你们让我跟你们一起 Thanks for letting me tag along.
没什么 Forget about it.
嗨， 我不喜欢跟别的男人那样 Hey,look. I don't really enjoy being with other men that way.
你觉得怎么样，扭动先生？ How you doing there,squirmy?
我窝在里面 I'm hanging in.
有一点出来 And a little out.
要动物园礼券吗？ But,zoo dollars?
我要告诉你有关你猴子的事 It's about your monkey!
你是导演的助理？ So assistant to the director?
他还没死 It's alive.
你的工作一定很有意思 你一定有很多很酷的责任… That's an exciting job. You must have a ton of responsibilities
我跟选角完全无关 I don't do the casting.
你们大家想吃什么？ So what are you guys gonna eat?
为什么我满脑子 都想着把那冰块放进嘴里… How come all I can think about is putting that ice in my mouth...
…然后舔遍你的全身？ ...and licking you all over?
我不懂，你为什么不救他？ I don't understand. Why didn't you help that man?
因为我上的高中是男校 现在神要补偿我？ Because I went to an all-boys high school,and God is making up for it?
因为我是神经外科医生… Because I'm a neurosurgeon...
…他显然是患了… ...and that was clearly a case of...
…“食道阻塞症” ... "foodal chokage."
我现在就要你… I want you right here...
好吧，听着 我要坦白一件事… I gotta tell you something
…在这里 ... right now.
你什么都不用告诉我 You don't have to tell me anything.
现在？在这里？ Right now,right here?
你不用向我解释什么 You don't have to explain yourself to me.
你不认为这里是公共场所吗？ Don't you think we're in kind of a public place?
我算什么啊竟然敢怀疑伟大的德瑞克雷莫瑞医生 Who am I to question the great Dr. Drake Ramoray?
能接近你，我就该满足了 I should be happy to be near you.
这里有活虾 They do have the shrimp.
嘿，我… Hey,l
到洗手间等我 Meet me in the bathroom.
嘿什么？ Hey what?
就那样，只是嘿 That's it. Just hey!
像结束了一首舞那样，嘿！ Like at the end of a dance. Hey!
现在我要去洗手间了 I'm going to the bathroom now.
有一天你们会长大 There'll be times when you get older
他喜欢把我们留在圈里面 He likes to keep us in the loop.
你们会想跟别人上床 When you'll want to sleep with people
只为搏得他们欢心 但不要这么做 Just to make them like you But don't!
因为… 'Cause...
…那是另一件… ... that's another thing...
来呀 Come on.
…你不要做的事 一起来 ... that you don't wanna do Everybody!
那是另一件你不要做的事 That's another thing That you don't wanna do
不敢相信我们在做这事 I can't believe we're doing this.
好，先生 All right,mister.
给我看那条内裤 Let's see those panties.
太棒了 很有教育性 -Excellent! -Very informative!
遵命 Alrighty.
一点也不会不恰当 Not at all inappropriate!
谢谢各位光临 后面有饼干要送给你们 Thank you for coming,everybody! There are cookies in the back.
你知道怎么样会更性感吗？ But you know what would be even sexier?
真是棒透了 That was great.
怎么样？ What?
孩子们爱死你了 The kids loved you.
你没把你的衬衫塞进去的话 If you didn't have your shirt tucked into them.
对呀，我酷毙了 Yea! I rock!
你知道为什么吗？ 因为你说实话 And you know why? Because you told the truth.
好，现在呢 我想看你只穿那件内裤 All right. Now,I would like to see you wearing nothing but them.
从来没有人对小孩子说实话 Nobody ever tells kids the truth.
把衣服脱下来 Take your clothes off.
你真是了得 You were incredible!
好吧，但是你要知道这表示 我们会错过特餐的介绍 I hope you realize this means we'll miss hearing about the specials.
但…？ But...?
你怎么知道还有“但…”？ 这种事情逃不过我的 -How'd you know there was a "but"? -I sense these things.
不是“但是”就是奉承话 It was either "but" or "butter."
来，快点… Come on,hurry!
你要我快点弄好 还是要我做得好？ Do you want this done quick or done right?
我想问题是有些父母… The thing is,I think some of the parents...
好，转过去，我要看你的后面 All right,turn around. I wanna see you from behind.
…会希望你多唱一点… ...they were hoping that...
…农场动物那类的歌曲 ...you'd play more songs about barnyard animals.
有人跟着 “钢铁玻璃”录影带做运动哦 Somebody's been doing his Buns of Steel video.
这个我办得到啊 I can do that.
真的？ Really?
所以你要我缩紧什么吗？ 或者是… So you want me to clench anything or...?
因为那样子会非常棒 Because that would be fantastic!
怎么？你要亲我吗？ What? You wanna kiss me?
苏西… Susie?
我正在考虑 I'm thinking about it.
这个就是报四年级的仇 This is for the fourth grade.
如果我有借书卡，我能借走你吗 If I get a library card,can I take you out some time?
什么意思啊？ 什么“什么意思”？ -What do you mean? -What do I mean?
什么意思？！ What do I mean?!
我的意思是内裤，先生 那就是我的意思 I mean underpants,mister! That's what I mean!
怎么？我没工作 What?I'm unemployed
什么意思？ What? What do you mean?
我的裙子… My skirt...
…你掀开了，大家笑了 ...you lifted. IKids laughing!
蝙蝠 The bat.
到十八岁大家还叫我内裤苏西 I was Susie Underpants till I was 18!
黑暗世界的大使 Ambassador of darkness.
像一只插翅的信差 冲出了巢穴 Flitting out of his cave like a winged messenger.
那是四年级的事了 你怎会到现在都还在生气呢？ That was in fourth grade! How could you still be upset?
死神之舞的盲目幽灵 Sightless specter of the macabre.
你二十年后打电话给我 告诉我你是不是还在生气 Call me in 20 years and tell me if you're still upset about this.
兄弟，我的猴子呢？ Buddy,my monkey?
对了… Oh,yeah,right.
在几个月前… There was a break-in...
我也要告诉你 你这条内裤我是不会还你的 I hope you realize you're not getting these underpants back!
…这里被洗劫，内贼干的 ...a few months back. Inside job.
你的猴子被偷了 Your monkey was taken.
还有一只雪鹭，一只两脚趾的树懒 Along with a snowy egret,a two-toed sloth...
还有礼品店的三件运动衫 ...and three sweatshirts from the zoo gift shop.
我的天哪 可是动物园说我的猴子死了 The zoo told me that my monkey was dead!
我真不敢相信 I can't believe this.
两个礼拜前 我还在看“绝命杀阵”… Just two weeks ago,I was watching Sudden Death...
动物园 The zoo!
你相信 动物园说的每一件事吗？ You believe everything the zoo tells you?
…现在我竟然在跟尚格云顿约会 ...and now I'm on a date with Jean-Claude Van Damme.
你能打扁那个家伙吗？ Can you beat up that guy?
动物园只是告诉过我这一件事 That's the only thing the zoo's ever told me.
扁这个呢？当然 -Can you beat up that guy? -Sure.
他们当然会说他死了 他们害怕消息传出去会不好看 Of course they'll say that! They don't want the bad publicity.
这太疯狂了 This is so wild.
他们掩饰得密不透风 It's all a great big cover-up.
我得承认我有点奇怪 你会同意跟我来个盲目约会 I gotta admit,I was surprised that you agreed to go on a blind date.
你知道这件事情 牵涉到多高层吗？ Do you have any idea how high up this thing goes?
通常我是不会答应的 Normally,I would not do it.
那个利浦森先生？ That guy Lipson?
利浦森先生知道？ Lipson knows?
是吗？ 那你为什么会为我破例呢？ What made you make the exception for me?
-谁还知道？-我只认识利浦森 -Who else knows?.-I only know Lipson.
因为瑞秋告诉我说… Rachel told me...
…你想跟我还有茱儿芭莉摩 来个“三人行”啊 ...you were dying to have a threesome with me and Drew Barrymore.
利浦森先生知道，是吗？ Lipson knows,huh?
对了，茱儿她有一些规矩的… By the way,Drew has some ground rules and....
你好，负鼠先生 Hello,Mr. Possum.
树上的谜团 上下颠倒的夜之民 Enigma of the trees,upside-down denizen of the night.
-说你对不起我 -不 -Say you're sorry!-No
正在嘲弄着地心引力… 兄弟，我的猴子呢？ -Taunting gravity -Buddy,my monkey. My monkey?
说！ Say it!
不，我才不要跟你说抱歉呢 No! I'm not gonna!
道上的传闻… Word on the street
当我说“道上”的时候 我指的是园里的游园道路 When I say "street," I mean those pretend streets here at the zoo.
快说…好极了 Say it! Say it! Great!
当然了 Of course.
瑞秋，道歉 不然你的毛衣就遭殃 Say you're sorry or your sweater gets it.
你的猴子有了新职业了… Your monkey found a new career...
那是我最喜欢的毛衣 我第三次约会的毛衣 That is my favorite sweater! That is my third-date sweater!
…往娱乐界发展去了 我只知道这一些 ...in the entertainment field. That's all I know.
说，你很抱歉 Say you're sorry.
真是令人难以置信 This is unbelievable!
好了，这个消息 对你值多少钱啊，朋友？ So what is this information worth to you,my friend?
你想玩，是不是？ You wanna play? Okay,let's play.
好，咱们就来玩 Let's play.
你是暗示我要贿赂你吗？ Are you trying to get me to bribe you?
或许吧 Maybe.
你想怎么样？ What'll you do?
可是你都已经告诉我了 But you already told me everything.
把毛衣还给我 否则这就变成番茄酱皮包了 Give me back my sweater or it's handbag marinara.
你才不敢这么做 You don't have the guts.
是吗？至少我不会不敢 告诉男人，我觉得他很可爱 Yeah? At least I wasn't too chicken to tell some guy he was cute.
你们看 Check it out.
马修就是 啤酒乐广告里的那只猴子 He actually is the Monkeyshine monkey!
那你打算怎么办？ What'll you do?
我要打电话给那家啤酒厂 问他们他在哪里啊 I'm gonna call the beer company and try to find him.
好了，住手，疯婆子 Stop! Stop the madness!
我丢了我的健壮驮马时就是这么做的 That's what I did when I lost my Clydesdales.
你们好 Okay,hi again!
你们两个疯了 This is crazy!
菲比好 Hi,Phoebe!
现在你们谁还记得 你们本来在吵些什么东西吗？ Who can remember why you're fighting in the first place?
今天我们要先唱一些 关于农场动物的歌曲 Today,we're gonna start with some songs about barnyard animals.
对，没错 Yes,that's right.
草地上的牛说哞 Oh,the cow in the meadow goes "moo"
但是… But still....
农夫在敲他的头 把他绞成肉酱 Then the farmer hits him And grinds him up
看看你的皮包 Look at your purse!
汉堡就是这样来的 And that's how we get hamburgers
看看你的毛衣 Look at your sweater!
看看你们自己 Look at yourselves!
现在…鸡 Now chickens!
德瑞克，你是唯一救得了她的人 Only you who can save her,Drake!
我会帮你补毛衣的 I'll help you fix your sweater.
该死，我是医生，我不是神 Damn it! I'm a doctor. I'm not God!
我会帮你… I'll help you...
我的信仰就是这样被推翻了的 There goes my whole belief system.
…丢掉皮包 ...throw out your purse.
对不起，我阻止你再见他 I'm sorry I made you stop seeing him.
是艾瑞克 It's Erika.
老天，快，关掉电视 Quick! Shut off the TV.
不，我要看结果 I wanna see what happens!
对不起 我知道你喜欢他还跟他约会 I'm sorry I went out with him when I knew you liked him.
我救莱丝莉脱离昏迷状态 然后我们亲热 I get Leslie out of the coma then we make out.
怎么可能？你刚才亲了莎宾娜 How can that be? You were kissing Sabrina!
对不起，我…借了你的手套 I'm sorry that I borrowed your gloves.
瑞秋，那只是乔伊是神经外科医生的世界 Rachel,it's a world where Joey is a neurosurgeon.
艾瑞克，请进 Hey,Erika. Come in.
你怎么这么快就到了？ 我刚刚还在塞林看到你 How did you get here so fast? I just saw you in Salem.
对，他们用…直升机送我 Right,they choppered me in.
什么事？ What's up?
还有一场小派对 You're having a little party too!
她在吗？ 谁啊？ -ls she here? -Who?
莎宾娜，你们的事我全知道了 Sabrina. I know about you two!
乔伊？ Joey?
妈？ Ma?
我看到你们两个 在医生休息室里接吻 I saw you today,kissing in the doctor's lounge.
钱德？你在这儿干嘛？ 我以为你们走了 Chandler？What are you doing here? I thought you guys took off.
不是你想的那样子啦，那是… It's not what you think
你说你心里只有我 You told me I was the only one!
不不不，是她走了，带着我的衣服 She took off with my clothes!
你一丝不挂 不完全是 -Are you naked in there? -Well,not exactly.
好，听着，够了 All right,look. That's it.
我想我们不该再见面了 We shouldn't see each other anymore.
我知道我很久以前 就应该告诉你了… I should have told you a long time ago...
我穿着女生内裤 I'm wearing panties.
…我并不是德瑞克雷莫瑞医生 ... but I am not Drake Ramoray.
我连医生都不是，我是个演员 我只是假装我是医生而已 I'm not even a doctor. I'm an actor. I just pretend to be a doctor.
你经常穿女生内裤吗？ You always wear panties?
天哪，那医院的人 知道这件事情吗？ Oh,my God! Do the people at the hospital know?
不…这是第一次 No,no. This is the first time.
你还真够倒霉 Talk about your bad luck!
你们谁来帮帮忙，好不好？ Somebody wanna help me out here?
第一次试女生内裤 然后衣服就被别人给带走了 The first time you try panties and someone walks off with your clothes.
我知道… Oh,I know! I know!
我在哪里？ Where am I?
大学的附设医院… University Hospital...
不是我要穿的 是苏西叫我穿的 I was not trying them out. Susie asked me to wear them.
…你已经在这里度过十八年了 ... where you've been for the last 18 years.
让我看看 不要 Let me see!
你怎么会在两个地方？ How can you be here and there?
我才不让你或任何人看呢 No! I'm not letting you or anybody else see,ever!
因为那是电视节目 Because it's a TV show!
好吧… All right,all right!
德瑞克，你到底要说什么？ What are you getting at?
长相很漂亮，但是神志不清 Nice girl. Not great with concepts.
有人在用“牙线” Someone's flossing!
我不是德瑞克 I'm not Drake!
没错 他不是德瑞克，他是… That's right! He's not Drake. He's...
…汉斯雷莫瑞，德瑞克邪恶的双胞胎兄弟 ... Hans Ramoray,Drake's evil twin!
乔伊，有些人不喜欢那样的 Joey,some people don't like that.
钱德穿女生内裤 Chandler's wearing panties.
真的吗？ Is this true?
什么？ What?
让我看 不…你不要看 -Let me see! -You don't have to see!
是真的 Yes! Yes,it is true!
我之所以知道是因为… And I know this...
小屁屁 Hi,tushy!
…他假装他是德瑞克 来…来骗我上床 ... because he pretended to be Drake to sleep with me!
你们谁把你们的内裤借我穿 One of you give me your underpants.
帮不上忙，我不穿内裤的 I'm not wearing any.
并且他告诉我他要带我私奔 And then he told me he would run away with me!
你怎么会没穿内裤呢？ How can you not be wearing any?
穿粉红丁字裤的人 倒训起人来了 I'm getting heat from the guy in the hot pink thong.
他骗我 And he didn't!
而且你马桶盖没有放下来 你这个浑蛋 And you left the toilet seat up,you bastard!
听我说，罗斯，我出五十块钱 买你的内裤，好吗？ Look,Ross. I'll give you $50 for your underpants.
这些都是真的吗？ Is all this true?
是，恐怕是真的了 Yes,I'm afraid it is.
我根本配不上你，艾瑞克 You deserve much better than me.
你应该跟真正的德瑞克在一起 你爱上的人是他 You deserve to be with the real Drake. He's the one you fell in love with.
去塞林吧，去找他 Go to Salem. Find him!
他才是你的 He's the guy for you!
中央公园
汉斯 Oh,Hans!
菲比，牛奶用完给我好吗？ 我快好了 -Can I have the milk? -I'm almost done with it.
汉斯？ Hans?
汉斯！ Hans!
拉住裤裤不要急嘛 Keep your panties on.
邪恶的双胞胎 Yo,evil twin!
对，再见，艾瑞克 Right. Goodbye,Erika.
各位，我在电影里了 And I'm in the movie!
祝你在塞林一切顺利 Good luck in Salem.
怎么了？ 有个扮演病人的请病假… -What happened? -A virus victim called in sick...
保重了 Take care.
…所以凯西就推荐我上场 我会死在担架上 ...so Cathy recommended me and boom! I'm dying on a gurney!
我永远不会忘记你的，汉斯 I'll never forget you,Hans.
罗斯，马修刚拍完最后一幕 如果你要去现场跟他道别就… Marcel just finished his last scene,if you wanna go say goodbye.
刚才是谁向我泼水！ All right. The people who threw the water!
我们只是想帮你 Helping you out!
不，没关系啦 他说不定还有派对什么的要去 That's okay. He's probably got parties to go to and stuff.
开除？ Fired?
为什么？ Why?
有很多父母向图书馆的 董事会投诉… The library board got a lot of complaints from parents...
他继续他的生活了 生活就是这样子，对不对？ He's moved on. That's the way it goes,right?
…你歌词里的一些内容有问题 ...about the stuff in your songs.
我真不敢相信，图书馆？ I can't believe it!The library？
天啊 Oh,my God!
-书籍，自由演讲，报纸 -我知道 -Books. Free speech.Newspapers on sticks.-I know.
什么？ What?
-孩子们呢？难道说你没有告诉董事会孩子们想听实话吗？-没 -And the kids?Did you tell your board that the kids want to hear the truth?-No
看来我们成功了 Looks like we made it
成功忘记对方… Left each other on the way...
…找到新欢 ... to another love
我懂了 I see.
或许如果你只是唱一些 一般的儿歌 Maybe if you just played some regular kiddy songs?
看来我们成功了 Looks like we made it
不，你要…我当什么呢？ What do you want me to be? Like some...
…当一只愚蠢的 紫色大恐龙吗？ ...stupid,big,like,purple dinosaur?
今天以前，我还如是想 Or I thought so,till today
直到看到你为止 Until you were there,everywhere
我又没说你必须当巴尼 You don't have to be Barney.
巴尼是谁啊？ Who's Barney?
看到你，往日回忆涌上心头 And all I could taste was Love the way we made it
你们不会相信的 You'll never believe it.
-让我猜猜 -什么？ -Let me guess.-What?.
看来我们成功了 Looks like we made it
一些胖子真的跳下来了？ Some Weebles actually do fall down?.
一块布只救了七个人？你猜到了什么？ A stitch in time now only saves seven?What do you got?.
很遗憾我们之间没有结果，我们也是 Sorry it didn't work out between us.Or us.
那么… Well...
算了 ... never mind.
茱儿很失望 Drew was very disappointed.
什么 什么 What?. What?.
我是追查马修追查到这个的 现在他很健康也很快乐… I tracked down Marcel and get this. He's healthy,he's happy...
好的，再见 Okay. Well, bye.
…他在纽约拍“极度恐慌II 病毒肆虐曼哈顿” ...and he's in New York filming Outbreak 2: The Virus Takes Manhattan.
你骗人 You're kidding!
再见 Goodbye.
简直不可思议 我知道 -This is amazing! -I know.
我也说再见 Well, bye for me too.
我才终于混上电视 这猴子开始拍电影了 I finally get a part on TV,and the monkey's making movies.
瑞秋，我好了 Rachel,I'm ready.
好，再次再见 Okay. Well, bye-bye again.
抱歉，那个说实话的唱歌小姐在这里吗？ Excuse me. Is this where the singing lady is,who tells the truth?
好的 Okay.
对呀，我猜那就是我 I guess that's me.
或许咱们三个人可以… Perhaps the three of us just could:
她在这里 She's here!
哦不不不 Oh, no, no, no, no.
确定吗？我的屁股可以挤碎核桃哦 Are you sure?.I can crush a walnut with my butt.
-不不不，很难忘 -但是不了 -Oh, no, no, no. Impressive.-But no.
有时男人爱女人 Sometimes men love women
也许我在煮饭的时候可以用得上 Maybe if I were baking.
有时男人爱男人 Sometimes men love men
好了，再见 Okay. Bye-bye.
然后还有双性恋 Then there are bisexuals
虽然有些说他们在骗自己 Though some just say They're kidding themselves
再见，马修 Bye, Marcel.
银幕上见了 See you on the big screen.
是你让人们喝那种啤酒的对吧 You keep people drinking that beer, okay?.
我会想你的，兄弟 I'll miss you, buddy.
真是令人兴奋 我都快一年没见到我的猴子了 This is exciting! I haven't seen my monkey in a year.
你洗澡从来不往下看吗？ What,you never look down in the shower?
再见 Bye.
我连说个“猴子是阴茎”的笑话都不可以吗？ I'm not allowed to make one joke in the "monkey is penis" genre?
好了，好了 Back up,please.
各位，往后退 Back up. Come on.
打扰了 我们在哪里能找到猴子？ Excuse me. Where can we find the monkey?
抱歉，各位 这场戏不对外开放 I'm sorry. It's a closed set.
对不起，你不了解 我…我是他的朋友 I'm sorry,you don't understand. I'm a friend of his.
我想我应该写一首 关于这件事的歌 I think I want to write a song about all this.
我们…我们以前住在一起的 We used to live together.
只是我的吉他有条弦断了 Except one of the strings on my guitar is broken.
我跟费利佩（《海豚的故事》中的海豚）还曾在波克若山分租公寓呢 And I have a time share in the Poconos with Flipper.
钱德，丁字裤借我，好吗？ Chandler,can I borrow your G-string?
罗斯，他在那里 There he is!
你等说这句话等了很久了吧？ 大概二十分钟啊 -How long you been waiting to say that? -About 20 minutes!
兄弟 Hey! Buddy!
马修… Marcel! Marcel!
你们看不出来吗？ 这个人快死了 Can't you see what's going on here? This man is dying!
在丛林里 In the jungle
偌大的丛林 The mighty jungle
今夜狮子睡着了 The lion sleeps tonight
停 Cut!
你们看不出来吗？ 这个人快死了 Can't you see what's going on here? This man is dying!
在丛林里，偌大的丛林 In the jungle The mighty jungle
停 Cut!
今夜狮子睡着了 The lion sleeps tonight
你们看不出来吗？ 这个人快死了 Can't you see what's going on here? This man is dying!
妈咪 Mommy!
你们看不出来吗？ 这个人已经死了 Can't you see what's going on? This man is dead!
抱歉，各位，这片场… Excuse me,this is a
不对外，我们知道 我们是猴子的朋友 Closed set. We know. But we're friends with the monkey.
早安 Good morning.
伙计，你看我带谁来了 Look who I brought!
是你的老朋友耶，小象哈瑞 Your old friend,Harry Elafonte!
老兄，火气真大！ Whoa,dude. Burn!
我不懂 I don't get it.
他昨天好像很高兴看到我 He seemed so happy to see me yesterday.
别放在心上，他近来压力很大 你知道，主演一部电影 Don't take it personal. He's under pressure,starring in a movie and all.
马修现在到底有多大牌呀？ How big of a star is Marcel?
用人来比啊，我说像… In human terms? I'd say...
是的，没问题 Yeah. Okay.