Arkham Asylum.
Prison to the greatest supervillains the world has ever known.
And Mr. Banjo.
Ever since the first "Robot Chicken DC Comics Special",
#RCDC
Humanity has been safe from these deviants.
Until...
the night.
And now, the Robot Chicken DC Comics Special 2
Villains in paradise.
#RCDC2VIP
Would you like to buy some girls scout cookies?
No!
Okay. Thanks, mister.
But Bizarro... said no.
每天这样上班儿简直是杀人 Oh, this commute is murder.
Okay.
动身吧 Let's do this!
滚...... Get aw...
恶，你们这些小吸血鬼 Ow! You little vampires.
哦，我的莫卡辛鞋 Oh, my moccasin.
哦，别啊，别又是那样！ Oh, no, not again!
No, no!
轻点儿蹭吧，顽皮小鳄鱼 Just be gentle, Mr. Snappy.
这破烂玩意儿出什么毛病了！ What is wrong with this piece of shit!
慢点儿刷 Swipe it slower.
呃，这也太慢了 Ah, that's to slow.
卡的磁条朝向对么？ Is it facing the right way?
朝向当然是...... Of course it's facing the right...
好吧，不对 Okay, it was not.
爸，这简直是胡闹 Dad, this is total bull crap.
这是春假 It's Spring Break.
My boyfriend invited me to his family's place at the beach.
法院宣告你在周末和节假日由我来监护 Well, the court says I get you on weekends and holidays.
无论你喜不喜欢，我们得一起过这个春假 Like it or not,we're spending this time together.
做什么？ Doing what?
我已经为你计划好了 Oh, I have a plan for you.
我要双份浓缩拿铁咖啡 Give me a double espresso latte,
半脱咖啡因，中倍泡沫，撒上些碎荷兰巧克力 half decaf, medium foam, with a dusting of dutch chocolate.
那个秃头混蛋 That bald son of a bitch.
天气巫师要我们带咖啡给他么？ - Does Weather Wizard want coffee? 我给他发过短信了 - I texted him.
我觉得他还没回短信是 因为在玩这些三消游戏 I think he's responding because those three dots are hovering right there.
请给我一份中杯的拿铁咖啡 Tall caf?latte, please.
好的，一共3.95刀 Okay, that's $3.95.
你没问我加不加鲜奶 You didn't ask me if I wanted whip or no whip.
要加鲜奶油么 Do you want whip?
加 - Whip. 好的 - Great.
我想要一杯额外加量的意大利浓缩咖啡么？ Do I want an extra shot of espresso?
我不知道，你知道不？ I don't know. Do you?
我们会知道的 We'll see.
不好意思，等一下 Oh, sorry. Hold on.
放到我放钥匙的兜里了 It's... It's in my keys.
就在这里 It's in my keys.
免费给你，好么 It's on the house, okay.
免费不免费与这个无关 Free or not free has nothing to do with it.
我不知道我想不想要 I don't know if I want it.
只有硬币知道我想不想 Only the coin knows if I want it.
等等 hang on.
哦，别这样啊，WiFi密码不管用了 Oh, come on.The Wi-Fi password doesn't work.
你不就是一台活生生的超级计算机么 Aren't you a living supercomputer?
用你大脑中的WiFi吧 Use the Wi-Fi in your brain.
我又没有WiFi I don't have Wi-fi.
我有3G网络 I have 3G.
And I'm locked in a shitty family plan.
我妈把我所有的数据包都用来传输《灵书妙探》剧集了 Mom blows through all my data netflixing episodes of "Castle". netflixing：观看完一整季电视剧
我自己都没得用了 I have no minutes ever.
再也没了！ Ever!
春假期间在这里干活？这真是扯淡，Lena Working here on your Spring Break? That's total bull crap, Lena.
行，把这说给“战秃老爹”听吧 Yeah.Well, tell that to Daddy War-Bald.
“战秃老爹”！ "Daddy War-Bald"!
我们该，我们该在推特上互跟 We... We should follow each other on Twitter. 国内网络无法使用推特，不方便解释
达蒙·林德洛夫（编剧）有次喜欢过我的推文 Damon Lindelof favorited my tweet once.
@达蒙·林德洛夫毁掉了《普罗米修斯》 @达蒙·林德洛夫点了喜欢
Lena整个春假得在那边干活了 So, Lena over there has to work on Spring break.
你知道现在该放春假了么？ Did you even know it was Spring break?
那又有什么关系么？我们根本不给假 What does it matter?We don't get vacations.
我就是那么跟Lena说的 That's what I told Lena!
她说这也太不公平了 She says that's so unfair.
Lena说了很多很对的话 Lena makes a lot of good points.
哦，你知道她是素食主义者么？ Oh! And you know she's vegan?
我真羡慕你，Lena I really admire that Lena.
天气巫师要我们给他带一杯美式淡咖啡 Weather Wizard wants an Americano.
就说我们已经走了 Say we already left.
我来向大家介绍一下超孩儿 I'd like to introduce you to Superboy.
我的，呃......我的克隆体 My, Uh... My clone.
你们好 What up?
“克隆体”？ "Clone"?
我就知道你没种告诉他们真相 I knew you wouldn't have the guts to tell them the truth.
我就不该给你生这个孩子 I never should have had your baby.
这十六年来我一直都是那么对你说的 That's what I've been telling you for 16 years.
没错，克隆体！ That's right, a clone!
一个不折不扣的克隆体 A clone with no strings attached.
通过我们的隐形无人机校准发射一束能量脉冲 By sending a targeted energy pulse from our stealth drone,
我们将使正义联盟的发电机失效 we will deactivate the Justice League's power generator,
把正义大厅平面图南象限里的人全都关在里面 housed in the south quadrant of the Hall of Justice,
撕碎这些倒霉蛋英雄趁在他们毫无还手之力和...... rending those hapless heroes completely defenseless and...
我们正在开会呢！ We're in the middle of a meeting!
你们这些笨蛋想告诉我是什么事如此重要么？ Do you fools want to tell me what's so important?
如果你非要知道的话 Well, if you insist.
欢迎捧场Smallville镇高中1986年才艺演出！ Welcome to the 1986 Smallville High School talent show!
我叫性感莱克斯，我们是性感卢瑟乐队！ My name is SexyLexy and we are Sexx Luthor!
快关掉 Turn it off.
Oh, baby, baby,with that ass so sweet.
We're the brainy studs that you're dying to meet.
Sexx Luthor!
Come on! Lana Lang Lana Lang with that sweet ponntang
I wrote you a song now shake hands with my wang.
Sexx Luthor!
我说了快关掉 I said turn it off.
我把这设成铃声了 Just made it my ringtone.
我今晚过得很愉快，艾瑞斯 I had a great time tonight, Iris.
逆闪电！ Reverse-Flash!
你不是唯一会讨好女士的人，闪电侠 You're not the only one who's good with ladies, Flash.
睁大眼睛好好欣赏“逆 艾瑞斯”吧 Feast your eyes on Revers-Iris.
我名字叫Tina My name is Tina.
起飞了！ Up, up and away!
呃，你不觉得你应该坐下么？ Uh, don't you think you should sit down?
因为我会飞得非常的快 'Cause I'm gonna flying really fast.
我只是觉得你坐下会安全些 I just think it would be safer.
我只是，你就不能变出别的形状么？ I just...Isn't there another shape?
你就不能把它变得更......像交通工具么？ Couldn't you make it more... vehicular?
为啥？ Why?
其实无所谓，只管把我放进球里出发吧 Look, it doesn't matter. Let's... Let's just go in the ball.
哦，因为这有损你的威严 Oh, because it's emasculating.
哦天，你也是那种 “就把它随便放在那儿吧”的家伙，是不是？ Oh, boy. You're one of those "Just put it right out there" guys, aren't you?
对！这很有损威严 Yes! It is emasculating.
以没有超能力坐在一个 It is emasculating to show up
橙绿色安全泡泡的形象登场很有损威严 with no superpowers in a lime-green safety bubble!
嗯，我不是那种人，我们来谈谈这件事吧 Oh. Well, no,let's talk about this for a second.
之前你不是说“更像交通工具一点儿” Earlier, you said "something more vehicular".
比如飞机？ Like a plane?
可以 - Sure 好的，等等，喷气式的还是老式螺旋桨的？ - Okay, yeah. No, jet or prop?
哦，机头有大螺旋桨的那种，当然了！ Oh, a big prop plane, for sure!
当你们在和机器人战斗的时候 And while you guys are fighting the robot,
我则卷入和史努比的狗打狗之争 I'll get in a dogfight with Snoopy.
我们直接走吧！ 我很抱歉我说了那些话 Let's just go! I am sorry I ever said anything.
听着，这次我不会让你坐着泡泡飞过去了 Look, I'm not gonna fly you in the bubble.
我知道你恨那样做，我一直都想着怎么解决这个问题 I know you hate it,and that's all I'll be thinking about.
There does come a time
when you must unwind.
And it's just the wind
and your superfriends.
Be set free.
Upon the sea.
And you're with your superfriends
until the super end.
Just sailin'!
Sailin'!
Sailing!
我，我该给我爸打电话了 I... I got to call my dad.
...Which will bump Eddie's plan to the end of march,
but I don't think anyone loves "Malcolm in the riddle" anyway.
All in favor?
Okay, what's the problem?
You're working us to the bone, Luthor!
We've butt-polished these seats into reflective surfaces.
I pulled a chair for Grodd the other day
and got into a staring contest with his brown eye!
Why don't we get vacations?
Vacation!
You idiots have plenty of time off.
It's called prison.
Luthor is correct!
I, Starro The Conqueror, require no vacation.
Why when I'm defeated by the Justice League,
I'm back to business the next day.
I was at the drawing board, not the shuffle board.
I... Uh, hey, where we going?
Oh, two guys taking a leak. All right, well, it's odd...
We're on the same page, right, guys?
You shouldn't flush those things.
That's how New York got giant alligators in the sewers.
That's just an urban legend.
Oh, you think so?
Moving on a new business...
I have four mochas, two whipped, two naked.
What? My daughter Lena is supposed to bring the coffee.
Who the fuck are you?
That's my nephew Calvin, isn't he great? Trying to help my sister out.
I'm taking Lena shift while she's on vacation with her boyfriend
Lena does what she wants.
No!
This insubordination will not stand!
Well, you heard him. Go. It's over. I tried, but it didn't work out.
It is what it is, okay? Tell sis I love her.
What? What are you looking at. Get the fuck out of here.
Brainiac, tap into the grid!
We'll cross-reference the database of every airline in the country until...
Lena's Instagram is blowing up with vacay pics!
That beach house looks amazing!
Grodd, cross your legs, I can see your dick.
Lena thinks she can defy me?
You all wanted a vacation?
Well, the Legion of Doom is going to the beach.
Flight mode engaged.
What?
The Hall of Doom... It flies.
Meow! We've been commuting to the Okefenokee swamp
when we could have been anywhere else? Meow!
I wear fucking burlap, man,
and the 20 pound of swamp water it takes on every morning!
I have a case of trench foot that's marched halfway up my balls!
Buckle up!
This bastion of evil upsets the delicate balance of the green.
You were right to summon me, the Swamp Thing,
for I am your protector.
Do you smell gasoline?
Shit! Shit! This thing's taking off!
Get the fuck out of my way!
No!
“沼泽异形之死” "The death of Swamp Thing"
今年最惊世骇俗的漫画书，现已发售！ The most shocking comic book of the year, now on sale!
他归来了并且比起前更棒！ He's back and better than ever!
“沼泽异形”第一卷 "Swamp Thing" #1! Now back to our show.
绿箭侠呼叫守望塔 Green Arrow to tower.
The turbulence knocked the pilot out cold! I'm all alone up here!
Easy, India Juliet 32,we can talk you down.
First, tell me what it says on your altimeter.
I can't even see the altimeter.
- I assure you it's there. - I know it's there.
I'm saying I can't see it!
If you're having trouble identifying the altimeter,
you need to look it up in the flight manual.
I can't read it! We're ejecting out of this flying death box!
Fuel jettisoned.
Oh, fuck!
You know, I was just off a very hard breakup,
but I have to say, this actually feels...
Is there a doctor in the house?
Oh, right here! Dr. Fate. He's a doctor.
I'm not... Uh... I'm actually not that kind of doctor.
What? You lied to me.
I never meant to hurt you, Melanie!
绿箭侠是维护正义的佼佼者 Green Arrow was the champion of justice,
不过更重要的是，他是我的朋友 but more importantly,he was my friend.
再多的眼泪也不能 And no amount of tears will...
也不能...... Will...
知道我想说啥？去他的吧 No, you know what? Fuck this!
哦，别装的那么震惊，你们这些骗子 Oh, don't act so shocked, you phonies
你们知道其中的猫腻 You know how this works.
过上几个月，一些魔法护身符之类的 东西就会让他复活或者 In a few months, some magic amulet will bring him back or...
就会出现某个平行维度穿越来的绿箭侠 we'll find some alternate-dimension Green Arrow
这的确就跟我们这儿出现过的一样 that's exactly like the one we had before!
你们中有多少人已经死过了 How many of you here have already died?
别装了！举手吧！ Come on! Put them up!
就是说嘛，这次大家都向已故的 绿箭侠表示敬意，下次谁还拿这当回事 Exactly. So, all due respect to Green Arrow or who ever bites it next,
我已经受够了你们的追悼会，你们的复活 But I'm done with your memorials,your wakes,
还有赶到你们家乡星球去撒你们的骨灰了 or flying to your home planets to scatter your fucking ashes!
我够了！ I am done!
这是我在每日星球报实习的第一天 First day of my internship at the Daily Planet.
在每日星球报工作很棒的 Working at the Daily Planet is great.
肯特先生人非常好，莱恩小姐总是带来独家新闻！ Mr. Kent's really nice,and Miss Lang gets all the scoops!
还有如果我遇上麻烦，我就用信号表呼叫超人 And if I ever get in hot water, I can call Superman on my signal watch!
扯得好，Jimmy Good one, Jimmy!
是真的 Look, it's true!
不可能的 No way!
我证明给你看，菜鸟 I'll prove it, rookie!
超人会在我摔到地面之前接住我...... Superman will catch me before I even in hit the ground...
这是你的信号表么？ Is this your signal watch?
坏消息是， JimmyOlsen死了 The bad news, Jimmy Olsen died.
好消息是，我升职了 The good news, I got promoted.
配合点儿吧，你这个愚蠢的大猩猩 Come on, you stupid gorilla.
这是我第一天外勤 It's my first day.
做点儿酷动作吧 Do something cool!
救命，救救我，超人！ Help! Help me, Superman!
Jimmy?
Jimmy!
啊？怎么回事儿？ What? why?
超人杀害大猩猩
看呐，肯特先生！ Look, Mr. Kent!
我第一天撰写的新闻上头版了 I got the front page on my very first day.
恭喜 Congrats.
So, what made you respond to my profile?
Well, you said you liked fish.
So?
Ain't no poontang until date six, and the edge grows wild, my man,
like Fangorn forest wild.
哦，我才想起来我洗完澡忘关掉大海了，那么 Hey, I just remembered I left the ocean running, so...
下次再说吧 maybe another time.
What a beautiful morning.
You're welcome.
You gonna make that joke every fucking day, Weather Wizard?
Your power's not called "July"!
Hey, man, you're really sunburned.
You should go inside.
This is my natural skin tone. You know what? Mind your own business.
Okay, all right.
Cute mermaid, girls.
Damn cute.
Hey, here's $5.
Why don't you girls go get yourself some ice cream?
Hey, there, baby. From around here?
Clayface don't get to meet a lot of...
Hey, fellas, "Private beach" is code for "Nude beach".
Keep your visibly-mangled and misshapen sausage cock in your pants, Penguin.
Guys, at a nude beach... Hey, that really hurt.
Guys, at a nude beach, there's nude women.
Oh, my god!
- What? Huh? - Dude, you got fried!
I told you, my skin is naturally... Holy fucking shit!
- Problem? - Oh, no.
Is it sunburn?
No, no. Nope.
I'm perfectly bronzed.
Hey, I think this guy is dead.
I think I finally comfortable in my own skin.
- So take off your mask. - Uh, no, no, no.
- I'm a real "But-his-face". - There's no judgment here, Scarecrow.
We're all beautiful in our own way.
Look at those dudes' dicks!
Wait. So "private" doesn't mean "nude"?
"Private" means "private".
What are you fools doing?
Where are your clothes?
What the hell kind of freak show are you running here, Luthor?
- I'm just here looking for my daughter. - Daddy?
Lena!
"Daddy"?
Lena, you are never to see him again.
No!
Conner, you are never to see that girl again.
No!
Hey, a quarter.
No!
Oh, golly, superboy!
How'd you ever land a high-class fucking trail like Lena Luthor?
Well, talking about teenagers having sex would be cheap exploitation.
But singing about it is another story.
I met Lena. Went to a movie.
Fell for Conner. I let him super do me.
We made out. Started to bone.
You'd be surprised what they've enhanced on this clone.
Super teens, who cares what they mean?
When all you need are super nights.
Give us dirt! Give us dirt!
Did you find out their scheme?
Give us dirt! Give us dirt!
Does his dick shoot red beams?
Good thing my panties are 10% lead.
And she's no stranger to dicks with smooth heads.
Gross.
My super dad, he'll get super mad.
But it's worth it for those super...
Nights!
I let you finish that song as a professional courtesy.
That was a mistake.
Lena, you're to good for that super-trash.
My clone's to good to date a filthy Luthor!
Lena's got more class in her little finger than you...
I'm cool, I'm cool.
Silence, fools. It's over.
荡妇，她是个荡妇 Slut, she's a slut.
Oh, you!
Oh, hell, no!
Check me out now, mother fuckers!
It's Starro!
Like a mighty New York City sewer alligator!
I'd hate to say I told you so.
That is a lie.
I tol...
Only our combined forces can defeat a foe that size.
All right, Luthor. I'll bring my super-strength,
laser eyes, invulnerability, and super-speed,
and you bring your slightly above-average intelligence.
You know what? Fuck you, Superman!
我来干掉这个小东西，小丑先生 I've got this one, Mr. J!
No!
“小丑之死”，好评发售中！ "Death of the Joker", now on sale!
集齐18种不同封面的版本吧 Collect all 18 variant covers!
我已经买了哦！ I got mine!
喂，赛尼斯托，你还记得你以前在 绿灯军团的基本训练么？ Hey, Sinestro, you remember your lantern corps basic training?
老套的“弓与箭”练习？ The old bow-and-arrow maneuver?
你这白痴！ You idiots!
这把太阳伞可不仅仅是时尚的象征 This parasol's more than just a fashion statement.
Sorry! Sorry!
来解这个谜！ Riddle me this!
有人能听到我说话么？ Can anybody here me?
来解这个谜！ Riddle me this!
该让Starro体会到速度的致命了！ It's time Starro learn that speed kills!
Sorry! Sorry!
交给我吧，伙计们 I got this, guys!
或许这次我可以扭转战局 通过我海里朋友们的帮助！ Maybe I can turn the tide of this battle with the aid of my ocean friends!
水行侠召唤我们了，大海中的骏马们，准备作战！ Aquaman calls us,the horses of the sea, to fight!
如果有人不想参加战斗，现在就离去吧 So if any of ye wishes to leave,go now,
and let no seahorse hold in judgment he that does!
你们可以自由选择 you are free...
所有人 all of ye...
自己做出抉择吧 to do as you choose.
对，小伙子们 Aye, lads.
就连脑子有问题的Steve都留下来了 Even Slow-witted Steve stayed.
还有残疾Kevin And Crippled Kevin.
Kevin，那位尾巴被螃蟹夹了的同胞 Kevin, whose tail was gripped by a crab.
Look upon one another
and know that on this day, ye all chose
to fight for the one in tight-green leggins and orange shirt,
the one who sometimes carries a trident but mostly no,
the one with the locks of gold fairer than any maiden!
We fight for the one they call
Aquaman!
So, ride the currents as though your tails were set alight,
for your names shall be remembered
from this day and forevermore!
为水行侠而战 For Aquaman!
If this is the end,
I want to die here,
In your arms
among all these dead seahorses
为水行侠而战！ For Aquaman!
这么多死掉的海马 So many dead seahorses.
I love you.
I love you!
这可能么？ Could it be?
真爱居然把我这个老海星的心都触动了 True love has touched even this old starfish's heart?
我们没有理由打下去了，我的朋友们！ We have no reason to fight,my friends!
笑笑吧，你这个混蛋！ Smile, you son of a bitch!
Sailin'
我觉得我们今天在这儿学到了些东西，卢瑟 I guess we learned something here today, Luthor.
是啊，我们学到了。通过集结我们所有人的力量 Indeed, we have.For all our combined powers,
我们这些笨蛋以为我们能 击败宇宙中最强大的力量—— we were fools to think we could defeat the greatest power of the universe...
爱 love.
真是太美妙了 It's so beautiful.
真是有点儿恶心 It's a little gross.
新娘新郎可以读他们写的婚礼誓言了 The bride and groom will now read the vows they have written.
When I met Lena...
I never realized one person could teach me so much about life
and love and following my own passion.
That's how I finally find the courage to ask...
Bizarro, will you marry me?
And... and Bizarro say yes!
Oh! This is beautiful.
Bizarro say yes!
Yes!
Yes! Yes!
A thousand times yes!
You may now kiss the bride.
Yes! Me want kiss!
Yes! Yes!
This is how we're ending the second "Robot Chicken DC Comics Special",
with a bullshit fake-out wedding?
你不是已经死了么？ Damn it! Aren't you dead?
哦，我有魔法护身符 Oh, I got the magic amulet.
Drop your dicks and grab your flip-flops.
We are Sexx Luthor!
Oh, baby, baby! With that ass so sweet.
We're the brainy studs that's your dying to meet.
Sexx Luthor!
ian-and-robot-chicken.blogspot.com
The Joker's back and better than ever! On sale now!
Another job well done!