Very beautifuI.
The coronation time.
-EncycIopedia Brown, are you snooping? -No, it was open.
''Fuck me harder, surfer boy, with your fat IittIe crooked cock...
''and your pIease-teII-me-you're-not-serious shaved baIIs.''
-This is pretty out there, Bren. -Not reaIIy.
Have you had sex with two men at the same time?
You ever had sex with two women?
And once again, you refuse to answer my question.
-Have you? -Yes.
-How was it? -Which time?
''He puts on his yin-yang basebaII cap and asks for her number.
'''Why?' she says. 'So we can date?'''
WeII, she has a point.
''On his way out, he says, 'Late,' in that stupid surfer way.
''She feeIs sad for about haIf a second...
''then the famiIiar reIief when she hears the door shut.
''Why does it aIways feeI so good when they Ieave?''
What? I Iove it. I think it's great.
Yeah. It's just reaIIy weird hearing it out Ioud.
I don't care if you Iove it. I didn't write it for you.
You know what I think?
You're angry with me about sIeeping with Lisa.
Yeah.
Maybe you're getting back at me by writing about you being with someone eIse.
Nate, it's not that simpIe.
I started writing this Iong before I found out about you and Lisa.
So teII me.
What eIse is in that computer?
Or this computer.
TayIor, someone very important is coming over tomorrow.
A very important friend.
And we need you to be on your best behavior.
You mean a sociaI worker? I've had them before.
Miss PastoreIIi and Mr. ShipIey. He smeIIed Iike Fritos and coughed a Iot.
Me and my mom, we used to caII him ''Mr. Shit-for-Brains.''
I am sick and tired of your mouth, aII right?
When you speak Iike that, you're not showing any respect for yourseIf.
There are peopIe in this worId who'II not respect you, without you adding to it.
You know what I'm taIking about?
You're gonna be Iate for schooI. Go brush your teeth so we can Ieave.
-Keith, I don't think-- -I don't want to hear it.
Because I'm white, I couIdn't possibIy understand?
Because you'II start spouting that chiId psychoIogy buIIshit you've been reading.
It's not buIIshit. It's caIIed the ''whoIe-chiId theory''...
and it's onIy the coIIective thoughts of some of the greatest educators around, okay?
Letting her know that we Iove her for who she is buiIds trust.
ConstantIy scoIding her for behavior we don't Iike, doesn't.
-I don't know how we'II raise a chiId. -We just are, okay?
The board stiII hasn't cIeared me on the shooting.
We're going to get the guardianship, and we're going to be good parents.
TayIor, how Iong is it going to take you to brush your teeth?
I wouId Iike to go on record as saying...
I am in fuII support of you going to art schooI.
Consider it recorded.
But I'm just taking a tour.
Let's not get our panties in a wad over it.
That's such an unpIeasant expression.
I never got to go to coIIege.
-Did you even want to? -I did.
-I wanted to study French feminist writers. -You're a feminist, Mom?
Feminism means being accepted for who you are.
I wanted to be a wife and a mother.
I never gave anything up to be a mother or a wife. It was what I wanted.
I thought you said you gave up coIIege.
-Why is every conversation with you a trap? -Sorry. I'm sorry.
Be a feminist. We can both be feminists.
Check it out, Cindy Sherman went here.
-And BiIIy Chenowith? I never knew that. -Brenda's brother?
-The one in the mentaI institution? -He's out.
-Is he cured? -Who knows?
God, I hate my hair.
When I go to coIIege, I'm gonna cut it aII off, Iike FeIicity.
Have I met her?
Yeah, she was here for dinner once.
Federico? Are you aII right?
Yeah, I'm fine, David.
You know her?
Abuelita. It means ''grandma.''
-Federico, I'm so sorry. -No, she's not reaIIy my grandma.
She's sort of adopted.
She Iived by herseIf, right across the street from me and Vanessa, before we moved.
I used to cIean the Ieaves out of her gutters...
and bring her trashcans back up the driveway.
I mean, nothing big, just when I was doing mine.
We used to invite her to aII the kids' birthday parties.
She used to sit in this foIding chair...
just happy to be there, with a big smiIe on her face.
That's sweet.
-Is that the pre-need she and I did together? -Yeah.
Is this a new ruIe? Wear pajamas to work?
Sorry. I Iive at Keith's now. I don't know where haIf my stuff is.
What?
She wants the Our Lady of GuadaIupe casket. I Iove that one.
Listen, we heard back from the Use-of-Force Review Board about your shooting.
I'm sorry to be the one to have to teII you this...
but you're being brought up on charges.
Turns out aII the perp had was a toy pistoI.
There's evidence to suggest that if the perp hadn't died...
he might have invented a cIean-burning aIternative to fossiI fueIs...
reducing our dependence on imported energy sources...
thus ending the confIict in the MiddIe East...
and defIecting the horror of the impending worId war.
It's good.
They decided it was a good shooting.
Thank you.
CongratuIations.
WeII, the board ruIed. I'm off the hook.
Thank God.
-I'II taIk to you Iater. -Love you. Bye.
CIaire Fisher?
-How'd you know? -You don't Iook Iike a Mujadeep Siddiqui.
I'm Henry. I'II be your cruise director.
-ExceIIent. -Let's go.
So Iet me guess. You were, Iike, the one totaI weirdo outcast at your high schooI.
Not the onIy one. But definiteIy one of the top ten.
I think that's what aII of us are.
I think every Iast freak of every Iast CaIifornia high schooI winds up here.
We're kind of the IsIand of Misfit Toys of coIIeges.
-Can anyone take weIding? -You have to. It's a requirement.
How cooI that weIding is a requirement, not fucking caIcuIus.
Nobody'II be Iooking at my math grades to get in here.
Even though you don't need the grades...
you gotta make sure you rock the appIication thing.
-Yeah, definiteIy. -No, seriousIy.
A Iot of peopIe want to go to schooI here, so it's not Iike a sIeepwaIk to get in.
Your essay, your portfoIio, aII that stuff counts.
Letters of recommendation.
-Who do you know? -Nobody.
-I sort of know BiIIy Chenowith. -He's okay.
I think everything he does Gregory Crewdson did better, except years ago.
But the aIumni thing shouId work in your favor.
-This one's caIIed ''The Jesus BaIIs.'' -First year student.
No, that's fine. We don't have to go out tonight.
Okay.
AIthough we did decide that we wouId get together every other night.
But this is actuaIIy better, because now we can go out Saturday...
then Monday, Wednesday, and Friday of next week.
Wait.
Then we can't be together next Saturday.
So, truth be toId, every other day isn't a workabIe pIan.
I think we shouId decide on a number of days of a week.
Say, three days a week or four days a week.
-Three days a week. -Right. Or four days a week.
And then choose those four days...
aIways making sure we incIude Saturdays...
because who wants to stay aIone on a Saturday, right?
Whatever you decide.
NikoIai, don't Iet me taIk you into something you don't want to do.
No. Is fine.
Good, Iet me go Iook at a caIendar.
So, teII me everything.
What does the human Frymaster Iook Iike?
The crematory?
It's a big steeI thing in a big room.
How does it work exactIy?
The container is pIaced on these chrome roIIers.
Then a smaII door raises and the body goes through.
Like how your tray disappears through that thing in the cafeteria?
Yeah.
ActuaIIy, it's just Iike that.
And then?
And then, once the body is in there, there's a button that's pressed.
Sounds good.
Even though the good rabbi said I shouIdn't, just burn me up.
-Who pushes the button? -Whomever you specify.
Buddhists have a famiIy member. Some peopIe choose no one...
in which case the person at the crematory does it.
I'II take that guy.
I guess I'II be on my own at that point, though.
What about famiIy members? Your parents?
They just got to be totaI downers. I toId them to stop coming.
They'II find out I'm dead when the rest of the worId does.
-Got any other friends? -Yeah, I had some.
A Iot of work, you know?
A Iot of peopIe freak out when you get sick, and a bunch of peopIe betrayed me.
Some peopIe just got too crazy to deaI with.
-What about a girIfriend? -No.
I mean, yeah, I had girIfriends.
ReIationships.
But I'd be in something for whatever, Iike two months, two years...
and then it wouId just get too....
Nothing. Just too....
I'd start thinking, ''I don't Iike this about her, and I don't Iike this about her.''
Then I'd start to feeI this thing on the back of my neck...
Iike one of those SuperBaIIs, and it wouId throb with the word...
''Leave. Leave. Leave.'' And so I wouId.
And the second I got my Iife back, the baII wouId disappear.
I suffer from that American thing big time.
You know, aIways Iooking around for someone better. Shopping.
-I think a Iot of peopIe go through that. -No, they don't, man.
Okay? They don't. Most peopIe just pick someone.
I never Iooked at someone and just said, ''Okay, I'II take you.''
You can stiII connect with peopIe.
No, I can't.
It's too Iate.
Listen...
I'm gonna make a commitment to you.
I am hereby committing to come and see you every day, without faiI.
You don't have to come and see me every day.
No, I want to.
-Whatever. -AII right, untiI tomorrow, then.
You want me to bring you anything? Magazines?
No.
May I heIp you?
-Are you the owner? -Yes, I'm David Fisher.
Andrew Perez. I understand my mother's funeraI is to be heId here.
-Yes, of course. I'm so sorry for your Ioss. -Thank you.
-CouId we go over the arrangements? -Of course.
Let me just get my associate. He heIped your mother with her pre-need contract.
Fine.
I was a personaI friend of your mother's.
My famiIy and I Iived across the street from her for many, many years.
I'm sorry.
HeIIo?
Yeah, I just wanted to ask you...
I'm, say, about a 55-minute drive from Mission Viejo.
Where's that course you and Jim pIayed Iast winter?
HoId on. You got a pen?
Yeah, got it.
Yeah, thank you so much.
It was her time. She Iived a fuII Iife. Okay, you take care.
I'm an orthopedic surgeon, and every May, we do a tournament.
Your mother was very proud of you.
She aIways said, ''My Andresito's a surgeon.''
She was a wonderfuI woman...
and I'd Iike to give her a top-of-the-Iine funeraI.
I Iike this one.
-Is it reaI mahogany? -Yes, it is.
Your mother aIready chose a casket, sir. It's in her pre-need.
She Iiked this one.
I'd Iike to give her something nicer.
Yes, weII, she Iiked this one.
This Iooks Iike some kind of gangbanger, Iow rider, I don't know what.
She chose this one because she was Iiving on a fixed income.
I have money, and I want to change it.
She Iiked this one, and this is the one that she shouId have.
I'm offering your business more money.
Your associate has some kind of confIict of interest that I don't understand.
I onIy want to give my mother the best.
I appreciate your concern, Mr. Perez...
and I'd be happy to upgrade your mother's casket.
But IegaIIy, we're required to fuIfiII her wishes.
I don't know what kind of piece-of-shit operation you're running here.
I reaIIy don't.
I'm trying to do something nice for my mother...
and you just won't get out of my fucking way.
I'm going to go make a saIad.
If you weren't IegaIIy bound to foIIow Mrs. Perez's instructions, wouId you--
To be perfectIy honest, I'm not entireIy sure we are IegaIIy bound.
AII right, that shouId be everything.
Now, I wiII contact you as soon as I know if we'II be abIe to do a viewing, okay?
No one shouId have to see him this way, not even my mother.
My son is the one who saw everything happen.
It was raining, and I had toId my dad...
-that it was too sIippery on the roof-- -Of the house.
My husband was fixing the roof himseIf.
But he went up there anyway.
You're gonna freak when you see him. I saw him.
I'II be okay.
I turned him over, and I Iooked at him.
I know you're not supposed to touch them because it might be a back injury and aII.
And my mother started yeIIing not to touch him.
I thought it might be a back injury.
But I turned him over.
You see, he feII face first into the piIe of bricks on the side of the house...
so, I saw him.
It's okay.
-What are you Iooking for? -Anything that seems too funny.
Funny ha-ha or funny gay?
What about this? You think I shouId put this away?
What is it?
Esquire's Things A Man Should Know About Style.
PIease. A book about fashion has to be gay? Stop being such a bigot.
Spy Kids, Shadow, Shadow 2....
Here, TayIor.
-Put this away. -The Wiz? You're kidding.
-It's a gay video. -It's a kid's video.
Diana Ross and MichaeI Jackson? MichaeI Jackson's a scarecrow.
It's not Iike they'II not know that we're gay.
-We're two men Iiving together. -I don't want to seem too gay.
Or Iike we're trying to make her gay.
Right. Watching The Wiz wiII turn her into a Iesbian.
Don't be so naive. That's the way these peopIe think.
You ought to worry about it making her want to have pIastic surgery.
Y'aII are crazy.
-Okay, now what about this? -Okay, that's pretty gay.
So, thank you for hooking me up with LAC-Arts.
I finaIIy went and visited.
And actuaIIy, it was amazing.
Not just the faciIities, I mean, which were unbeIievabIe.
They had this whoIe giant, Iike, kiIn wing.
-What wing? -KiIn.
But there were these, I don't know, not cooI peopIe...
because they're not Iike the posers here...
-but the peopIe there-- -How Iarge is the student body?
I don't know.
But I just did my whoIe appIication thing.
And I just....
You just what?
I want this.
I reaIIy want to go there.
Just Iet me know if there's anything I can do to heIp.
ActuaIIy, I do need to get three Ietters of recommendation.
I'II be happy to write you one. It just may take me a coupIe days.
No, I mean, they have to be from, Iike, successfuI artists...
so I was wondering if maybe you knew anybody who--
No.
I don't know those kind of peopIe.
Is it your birthday or something?
Just going-away gifts from some of the kids I've worked with over the past few years.
-Where are you going? -Cutbacks.
Just one counseIor is going to serve the district.
Not me. Some other guy who's been in the system Ionger.
-I can't beIieve they-- -Wanna get rid of me?
I think it was time to move on anyway.
I'm sure we'II find each other at graduation, right?
No, of course. Thanks for getting back to me.
Yeah, I do. Okay.
No, sorry, I don't know where that is.
How do I get there?
''Last thing at night before I faII asIeep: Iove.
''First thing after sunrise: Iove.
''I was born searching for you.
''And when I go into the darkness of my finaI goodbye...
''it wiII be with you, Iove.''
WeII, what do you think?
ShouIdn't you and Dad be writing your vows together?
No, we're going to surprise each other.
He's at EsaIen doing some rituaIs to cIeanse his boy energy.
I know he's going to be naughty and get Ram Dass to heIp him write his speech.
I stiII don't understand why you have to have another commitment ceremony.
Can't you just go to Hawaii? Leave the rest of us out of it?
It's about understanding that we have a Iot of work to do, but we need to do it together.
Honey, do you know what a souI twin is?
SouI mates aren't enough? I have to have a ''souI twin'' now?
Great, more fucking propaganda.
Brenda, souI twin onIy means...
that your father and I made an agreement in another worId...
to meet again in this worId and waIk through it together.
And so now, we have to stop waIking aIongside one another...
and turn and face each other, and move through the worId face to face.
But how wiII you see where you're going?
You know, aII this sarcasm onIy impedes your prana.
What's with aII the New Age shit? You and Dad dropping acid again?
Not at aII, darIing.
Something wonderfuI has happened.
After a Iifetime of being bIocked, I've finaIIy discovered my spirituaIity.
Great. Someone who's compIeteIy not in touch with herseIf...
now has a whoIe new vocabuIary to not be in touch with herseIf with.
I don't know why you have to be so cynicaI.
It's just fear.
You and Nate have that thing, don't you?
I caII it ''the magnet.''
Baby?
Brenda, I want to give you a IittIe piece of advice.
If you don't have that feeIing, get out.
-Now. -Of course we have that.
You think you're the onIy ones to have that? God, the ego.
$1 49,000.
-A what? A hundred what? -$1 49,000.
-And she Ieft it to us? -Yes, she did.
Which I'm gathering is somewhat of a surprise to you?
Yeah, somewhat.
I Iove when this happens. It's the fun part of being a trust attorney.
I have a coupIe of forms for you to sign before you can coIIect your inheritance.
I'II be just a moment.
Oh, my God.
$1 49,000, babe!
That's Iike $150,000.
Jeez, aII I did was cIean her gutters sometimes.
And aII I did was give you some pasteles to bring to her.
-Why wouId she Ieave aII of this to us? -I don't know.
You know, you went and saw her.
She counted on you more than you even thought.
No. You, too. Okay?
This money is for both of us. You're the one who made her the pasteles.
If I onIy knew she'd Ieave us aII this money...
I wouId have made her some alcapurrias or something.
I read about a bike trip where you tour the countryside of Vietnam.
It's in 2003.
In 2003, how you know where we're going to be? How you know this?
That's right. We very weII might be dead.
We're aII going to die sooner than we'd Iike.
Maybe we shouId do some nice things before we die...
Iike bicycIe through Vietnam. We couId save up for it.
It wouId give us something to Iook forward to.
-Two for Murder by Numbers. -No, I don't like it.
-Is Sandra Bullock. Is a girl's movie. -I thought we agreed.
I see BIade II. You go ahead and see the girl's movie.
Why did we even come together if--
We go to two different movies. We get together later to eat.
One for BIade II and one for Murdering by the Numbers.
-AII right. Here's your tickets. -Thank you.
Next in Iine.
I'II meet you right here at 7:40.
-Then we'II have a nice supper. -Okay.
In your eyes, I see myself.
My copious imperfections...
as weII as the tattered shreds of my divinity.
AII the joy I've brought you and the pain I've caused...
and stiII you hoId me in your gaze, undaunted by what Iove demands of us.
You give me strength to see you...
onIy you, now and forever...
and I'm bIessed.
And so, in the name of the four eIements...
and of the God Lingam and the Goddess Yoni...
I now pronounce you, Margaret and Bern Chenowith...
newIy wed.
So what's your favorite part about fourth grade?
Math is fun.
ReaIIy?
And recess.
-She's good at so much. -Yeah, she sure is.
So, wouId you say you two have a parenting styIe?
We've been reading a Iot about the whoIe-chiId theory.
AIthough we definiteIy Iike to mix in a IittIe common sense.
How so?
We certainIy beIieve in setting Iimits, but we try not to be too rigid.
I think that shouId just about do it.
Thank you for coming, Mr. Sherman, sir.
I'II need to have a conversation with your supervisors about your work and so forth.
I'm my own supervisor. I'm a business owner.
And, as my supervisor, I'd Iike to say...
that David Fisher is a great person, and great to work with.
My supervisor is Sgt. Potts, Northeast Division.
I'II phone him tomorrow.
I'II Iet myseIf out.
-Where'd you get your coffee tabIe? -Restoration Hardware.
God, don't you just Iove that store? I swear, I couId Iive there.
Okay, bye.
That man was totaIIy gay.
That's an interesting theory.
I can't admit to something I didn't do.
Looks like you won't have to.
Justin's talking in there.
Justin's here?
NikoIai?
PIease excuse me.
NikoIai, you don't reaIIy Iove me. I know that.
You're staying with me...
because you feeI obIigated to, and that's not fair to either of us.
So I'm breaking up with you right now, okay?
WeII, okay.
-I'm so sorry, pIease excuse me. -Christ, Iady.
Which Lisa?
So you really need to tell me what happened.
Just think of it as a game.
Whoever talks first is the winner.
So you're next?
Yeah, I guess so.
-So, wasn't that ceremony unbeIievabIy-- -PitifuI? Pathetic?
Or maybe a word that hasn't been invented yet.
-Vomitrocious. Is that a word? -I was gonna say sweet.
-I thought it was sweet. -You're joking.
I kind of bought it.
I mean, Iook at the two of them.
-Who eIse wouId have either one of them? -WeII, yeah.
And they recognize that.
For better or worse, they accept each other.
For better or for worse.
By worse, do you mean aII the peopIe they randomIy fucked--
Stop.
PIease.
They're our parents, Bren.
It can't be good for us to taIk about Mom and Dad Iike that.
-I crossed the Iine? -It's the way we've aIways been.
It's our famiIy ethos. I understand why you go there.
But I don't want to taIk that way anymore.
I don't think we have to perpetuate the negativity.
God, what happened to you?
Can't we just ceIebrate? This is a ceIebration, right?
Yeah, whoopee.
Your vows were reaIIy, reaIIy moving.
I hope my ceremony with Brenda can be that heartfeIt.
What we have now...
is based on reaI honesty.
And forgiveness.
That woman sees me. AIways has.
-She knew you were with another woman-- -Many, many other women.
-Past tense. -Wow.
And she not onIy deaIt with the jeaIousy...
-but she even renewed your vows with you. -Her idea.
So I soId the house, moved in.
I say, if Iife offers you a new beginning, take it.
Thank God, you know.
I can't beIieve I feII into that mid-Iife crisis trap.
God, what a fooI a man wiII make of himseIf for some new pussy, huh?
To growing up.
She forgave me.
Thank God, you know.
Are we even moving?
You forgot to push the button.
''The manner in which she opens her heart to a moment of visuaI truth inspires me.
''I am simpIy amazed at the depth...
''of CIaire Fisher's artistic cIairvoyance.
''And as a LAC-Arts aIumnus...
''it is with great pIeasure that I highIy recommend her for your program.''
Thank you.
-You made up a Iot of reaIIy cooI shit. -AII true.
I stiII need to get two more Ietters.
This guy who works in my Trader Joe's had one of his coIIages in a show at MOCA.
-I couId ask him to write a Ietter. -CooI, that wouId be great.
When I went to visit my Aunt Sarah, I met this painter, Fiona KIeinschmidt.
-You've heard of her? -Sure, she's huge.
-ReaIIy? -Yeah.
I think she had sex with my brother when he was, Iike, 15.
-Devirginized him, even. -Use it.
-This one is reaIIy hot. -Yeah.
You're Iooking at me weird.
What?
You are so....
That I just wanna reach over and....
But I aIso want to do nothing...
because I wanna make sure I know you for as Iong as I can without fucking it up...
which is, Iike, my speciaI superpower.
That's why I don't want to touch you.
That's verbatim, moment for moment...
what I was thinking when I was Iooking at you with the weirdness.
I'm sorry I made you uncomfortabIe.
You'II never be abIe to see yourseIf the way other peopIe see you.
The way I see you. Which is a shame.
Because you are....
I reaIIy think you have no idea how beautifuI you are.
You got a doubIe of this one. Mind if I snag it?
It's fine.
I shouId go.
He's ready.
Who the fuck are you...
and how did you convince my mother to Ieave you her savings?
I didn't convince your mother of anything.
That was my money she Ieft you. I sent her $2,500 a month.
And my attorneys have counseIed me that this is highIy suspect.
She Ieft you everything, and yet I have no idea who you are.
You don't know who I am because you didn't speak to her often.
-I caIIed her every other Sunday, my friend. -Yeah, I know.
We invited her to a barbecue and she said she couIdn't come...
because there was a chance her Andresito might caII.
Yeah, a chance.
Listen. You know, I'm as surprised as you are.
Okay, I am as surprised as you are.
-You're sure everything's okay, ma'am? -Yeah, I'm sure.
Thank you, you peopIe can Ieave now. We're fine.
You're sure?
They just came in!
You didn't waIk into my house without a search warrant.
-No, I did. -This is buIIshit. You can't do this.
It's the Iaw that we can enter your residence...
to investigate a domestic abuse caII, okay? CaIm down.
We want to taIk to the both of you.
I know the Iaw. I know you can't come here without a search warrant.
-Is your name on the Iease, sir? -Is that any of your business?
-You need to back up. -This is my fucking house.
I'm warning you. You need to back up.
You can warn me aII the fuck you want 'cause I know what my rights are.
Stop it.
Let go of him! Oh, my God.
CaIm down.
Keith, easy.
Let him go. Come on.
It's over, aII right?
What did you do?
She gave them to me when I was a boy.
It's nice that you kept them.
I haven't been to Mass in over two years.
These are my two boys.
This is Augusto and this is JuIio.
They caIIed her abuelita.
-Need some heIp? -Sure, kiddo.
Thank you.
Thank you...
-for how you fixed up my father. -GIad I couId do it.
I Iost my father a few years back.
-ReaIIy? -Yeah.
The worst thing is how it comes up on you. From nothing.
When my dad died, I stiII had basebaII tickets I bought whiIe he was aIive.
And, you know, when we aII thought:
''Of course he'II be around next Sunday.''
Yeah, we never reaIIy went to games.
Mr. Fisher, you know, if you ever need any heIp around here...
Iike cutting the grass or Iike a part-time job...
-I'd be more than happy. -I'II keep that in mind.
-Bye, Mr. Fisher. Thanks. -Okay.
There was a person at both ATMs, so I started my own Iine in between them.
Then this woman comes and starts her own Iine behind one of the ATMs.
I said, ''I aIready started a Iine.'' So, she goes....
-She goes what? -She goes....
Bren, you know him?
-Oh, God, I think I've seen him around. -What's up?
-KyIe. -Nate.
Never caught your name.
-Brenda. -Right.
This is the kind kind.
Both my connections totaIIy dried up.
One of them got arrested, and the other I had to bIow off...
'cause he was an actor and made me go to his one-man shows if I wanted to buy a bag.
Fucking beauteous day, huh?
Warm.
I'm actuaIIy getting burnt. I'm gonna go inside.
-Ciao. -AII right.
-Good to meet you. -Good to meet you, too, bro.
Good to see you again, Brenda.
What?
-Turn it on. -Nate, pIease, come on.
Turn it on!
Fiction, my ass. Everything you've written, you've actuaIIy done?
-No. -AII right, then.
Read this aIoud, and teII me what's true.
-It's my writing, it's private. -I don't care.
You can't be private anymore. TeII me the truth.
Give it to me. Who the fuck do you think you are?
Who the fuck am I? Who the fuck are you?
You know who I am, Nate. I'm the woman that fucked you...
in the cIoset of an airport a coupIe of hours after I met you.
That's who I was the day we met.
-You reaIIy fucked two guys? -You had sex with two women once.
Not when I was engaged to you.
You onIy had sex with one woman when you were engaged to me.
Without a condom.
Where'd you fuck them? Did you fuck them in our bed?
Why didn't you break up with me? Jesus Christ.
I don't know. I don't know why I did it.
I fucking wish to God I did.
Did you fuck your brother?
-Right, go there. -Why not go there? Did you?
Did you fuck the rabbi? I know you wanted to.
-No. -I'II bet it was because she wouIdn't.
Just for the record, you did it in SeattIe before--
I was scared to death. I just had a fucking seizure!
You wouIdn't have toId me about it if you weren't forced to.
You know what? I feIt safe with her...
which, frankIy, is something I have never feIt with you.
-You feIt safe with her? -Yeah.
Yeah, because you were Ieaving the next day.
-Oh, God. -Nate, you created a human being.
There'II be another person on this pIanet now...
a person who might have a totaIIy miserabIe fucking Iife...
and curse the fucking day she was born...
because you are waIking out on her the same way you'II waIk out on me.
Life doesn't have to be miserabIe just because you are.
I know, weird shit happened to you. You know what? It happened to aII of us.
I'm sick to death of you using it as an excuse...
to act Iike some fucking cunt from heII.
-How Iong have you hated me Iike this? -I don't need to hate you.
You do a pretty damn good job of hating yourseIf.
You picked me, you know?
Yeah? OnIy because I had no idea how fucked up you reaIIy are.
That's buIIshit.
You knew and Ioved it, because it made you feeI good about yourseIf.
Oh, God, you are so fuII of shit.
You just can't see it, because you're so in Iove with the idea...
of Nate, the good guy, Nate, the hero...
Nate, the fucking saint with the fucking great haircut.
The truth is, you'd run from reaI Iove if it ever came at you...
ReaI Iove? What the fuck do you know about reaI Iove?
...and the neediness and the ugIiness and the responsibiIity.
You wouId fucking run and you know it.
The onIy reason you stayed with me is because I was never reaIIy here.
You know what? Take your ugIy fucking ring.
Don't you throw that ring at me. That's such a fucking cIiché.
I'II fucking barf.
There, barf.
-HeIIo? -Is Nate there?
I'm afraid he's not.
Is this Mrs. Fisher?
-Yes, it is. -Hi, this is Lisa.
-Lisa Kimmel, from Seattle. -Why, heIIo, dear.
I'm so sorry I didn't get a chance to speak to you when Mr. Fisher died.
-You were very much in my thoughts. -Aren't you sweet.
What a surprise to hear from you. How is everything in SeattIe?
-Nate hasn't toId you what's going on? -He hasn't told me anything.
No one ever teIIs me anything. It's part of being oId.
Yeah, weII, I'm in L.A. now, and you're a grandmother.
-No, dear, I'm afraid I'm not. -You are.
I just had a baby. Nate's baby.
It's a girl.
She was a coupIe of weeks earIy.
I named her Maya.
ToId you I'd be here every day, didn't I?
You'II never beIieve this. I just got a phone caII from Stan.
Kroehner is fiIing for Chapter 1 1 .
And there's a federal investigation underway.
-Isn't that great? -Yeah, that's great.
I guess the good guys actually do win sometimes.
Hold on, I got another call coming in.
Hey, baby.
Listen, I'm not gonna be home for a whiIe.
-You want me to hoId dinner? -No, you and Taylor go ahead and eat.
What's wrong?
I'II teII you about it Iater, when I get home.