вжд╩ - What, there's... - They're in the raita.
вжд╩ I'm going to pop my belly if I don't have my papadums soon, ya?
вжд╩ You understand me, ya?
вжд╩ Maybe it is racist.
вжд╩ Jesus, Kate.
вжд╩ This is really beautiful food.
вжд╩ Yeah, with herbs it would be even better, actually.
вжд╩ It shouldn't really need herbs.
вжд╩ The worst thing about it is,
вжд╩ a part of him always knew it was happening,
вжд╩ but he was just too much of a coward to be alone.
вжд╩ He'd rather have her while
вжд╩ she's being licked out by her accountant,
вжд╩ than not have her at all.
вжд╩ Romantic, pathetic, beautiful.
вжд╩ So many things.
вжд╩ Yes, I wasn't expecting her to tell you all that.
вжд╩ You're through the worst now.
вжд╩ He also has sometimes touched himself
вжд╩ himself thinking of the two of them together.
вжд╩ He is a sexually complicated man.
вжд╩ But with a huge heart.
вжд╩ - Right. - A huge, broken, heart.
вжд╩ - OK, Melody. - Shattered.
вжд╩ Bum out.
вжд╩ No, no, look. She has found love with Brian.
вжд╩ I cannot begrudge her that.
вжд╩ Your pain is so beautiful.
вжд╩ Thank you.
вжд╩ - Have you been in touch with Cara?
вжд╩ - Yes... She sent me a photo of her garden.
вжд╩ Her front garden?
вжд╩ No, although she does have a lovely little front garden.
вжд╩ But I only paid attention to the back garden.
вжд╩ More space for aggressive seeding and such.
вжд╩ It was rather a weekend passion of mine.
вжд╩ Can we see a picture of her back garden?
вжд╩ Of course. If you like that sort of thing.
вжд╩ Here are the lovely camellias.
вжд╩ And you can just make out that climbing rose blossoming
вжд╩ - through the sweet peas. - What's that?
вжд╩ That's Brian jumping through the sprinkler in front
вжд╩ of the chrysanthemums.
вжд╩ - He's very... - Hairy, yes.
вжд╩ I haven't that gift, I'm afraid.
вжд╩ I think it's beautiful. That you tried. She let you down.
вжд╩ You held your end up. Good for you.
вжд╩ Thank you, Sam.
вжд╩ - Are you trying to have sex with someone here? - No.
вжд╩ OK. It's Ukululu time. We're going to play Truth Songs.
вжд╩ So, fill your cups.
вжд╩ It's time to get to know each other properly
вжд╩ and these are the only two ways I know how to do it.
вжд╩ I have work tomorrow. Ah, we all do.
вжд╩ - Well... - What? вжд╩ I have work tomorrow. Ah, we all do.
вжд╩ - Well... - What?
вжд╩ You're a receptionist.
вжд╩ And?
вжд╩ Well...
вжд╩ Sing one about this deliciously spicy curry!
вжд╩ Ok.
вжд╩ I really liked the curry?Which is really lucky?
вжд╩ Cos Kate told us to big it up whether we did or not.
вжд╩ Is that true?
вжд╩ No.
вжд╩ Yes. Who's next?!
вжд╩ Kate do one!
вжд╩ Excellent idea!
вжд╩ - Do one about... - Nothing sexual, please.
вжд╩ ...orgasms!
вжд╩ I'm not going to sing about orgasms!
вжд╩ Come on!
вжд╩ They feel really nice.
вжд╩ I really like orgasms.
вжд╩ They happen down there.
вжд╩ You nailed it, babe.
вжд╩ I want to do one with Colin, about love.
вжд╩ Hold my hand.
вжд╩ Why am I here?
вжд╩ Most mornings I wish I was dead.
вжд╩ Wow.
вжд╩ Fucking amazing.
вжд╩ Second curry.
вжд╩ What's that smell?
вжд╩ It's the next curry.
вжд╩ Ooh, lovely. Why did you tell Lulu about my orgasm thing?
вжд╩ I didn't. Why did you tell everyone to pretend to like my meal?
вжд╩ I didn't. Why did you tell Lulu I've never jizzed?
вжд╩ I didn't! Baby, you can't say jizzed.
вжд╩ Well, she's fucking intuitive then,
вжд╩ picking ME to sing the one song about orgasms.
вжд╩ Lucky I pulled it off.
вжд╩ Later. Please. This one is fish.
вжд╩ It's all in the timing.
вжд╩ Promise me she doesn't know.
вжд╩ I promise.
вжд╩ - Swear on our future children. - I swear.
вжд╩ Б≥?Kate can't co-me.
вжд╩ This programme contains very strong language throughout and adult content
вжд╩ I was singing about how...
вжд╩ how you can't come to the cinema with Sam and Fred tomorrow.
вжд╩ - Sure. - Seriously, I didn't know.
вжд╩ Seriously, it's OK.
вжд╩ I didn't know.
вжд╩ Anthony never tells me anything any more. Seriously.
вжд╩ I'm sorry.
вжд╩ I don't want to talk about it.
вжд╩ Ok.
вжд╩ I can get the ukulele if you'd rather sing about it.
вжд╩ - I could fucking murder you sometimes. - Sorry.
вжд╩ Hey, I'm a good listener, though.
вжд╩ - I'm sure you... - What?
вжд╩ I just feel like everyone else can jizz at the drop of a cock.
вжд╩ Tell me about it.
вжд╩ You struggle as well?
вжд╩ Oh, no, sorry. I'm one of the lucky ones.
вжд╩ I get close just looking at The Shard.
вжд╩ Lulu, get out, come on.
вжд╩ I can feel you ruining my relationship from here.
вжд╩ It's OK, baby. I know you didn't say anything.
вжд╩ We're just chatting.