《绝望的主妇》前情提要 Previously on desperate housewives
卡洛斯需要做出改变 Carlos needed to make a change.
我上班很痛苦 我不能再继续了 I am miserable at work. I can't do it anymore.
奥森给警局寄了封匿名信 Orson sent the police an anonymous tip.
我感觉这事有蹊跷 Got a feeling about this.
要不我们去那个工地挖挖看啊 Enough of a feeling to go dig up a construction site?
麦克保护了雷尼 Mike protected Renee...
他是个好人 He is a good man.
可他付出了血的代价 But he paid the price.
每天 在紫藤郡 Every day on Wisteria Lane,
主妇们都面对着各自的问题 women face their share of problems...
比如报童投错地方 Like a paperboy who's off the mark...
或是机器发生故障 An appliance that's out of whack...
又或是孩子成绩不理想 Or a report card that's below par.
这些日常问题在她们眼中是生死攸关的大事 These everyday problems can seem like matters of life and death.
我告诉你的报童多少遍了 I've told your paperboy ten times--
花坛洒水器早上六点整准时启动 the flower bed sprinklers go on at 6:00 A.M. Sharp.
他来过之后 东西还是没修好 I don't know how you can call him a repairman
怎么还能管他叫修理工 if after he visits, the thing is not repaired.
听好 卡洛斯 她的数学老师写道 And get this, Carlos. Her math teacher wrote,
"唯一比她的算数更差的就是她的态度" "The only thing worse than her arithmetic is her attitude."
可随后真正可怕的事发生了 But then something truly horrible comes along...
-麦克 -我们急忙去处理真正要紧的事 - Mike! - And we rush to hold on to what really matters...
趁它还没永远结束 Before it's gone forever.
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翻译：非燕 BF 觉棂 安然 ztonyy 豆包 燕窝
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时间轴：贝壳 天 舍我其谁 校对：vero
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后期/特效：瓜瓜 监制：vero
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当一个爱人死去 When a loved one dies,
我们必须做出某些决定 certain decisions have to be made.
遮荫巷殡仪馆
必须选定棺材 A coffin must be selected.
必须选好墓石 A headstone must be picked.
还得选好寿衣 Clothes must be chosen.
给尸体落葬绝不容易 Preparing a body for burial is never an easy thing to do...
警戒线 请勿逾越
不过挖坟则难上加难 But unearthing one can be even harder.
我们有发现了 Hey! I think we got something.
怎么样 What do you think?
很得体 You look handsome.
你的衬衣底下是什么 What's that under your shirt?
我对麦克的小小敬意 My little tribute to Mike.
他一定会喜欢的 He would've loved that.
他总想让我去印第安纳波利斯看比赛 He was always trying to get me to go to indianapolis for a game.
而我作为高管总是忙得不可开交 And I was too busy being a big executive,
帮着有钱人充实腰包 helping rich people get richer.
以后我的悼词... That'll be a...
就这样不错吧 great eulogy someday, huh?
你是说你想再次辞职 Is this about you wanting to quit your job again
然后你就能成为廉价顾问吗 so you can be an underpaid counselor?
我永远没法得到你的理解 是吗 I'm never gonna be able to get you to understand this, am I?
如果我感到自己在帮助别人 What a difference it would make in my life
我的生活该多有改观啊 if I felt like I was helping people.
你说得对 我永远无法理解 You're right. I'm never gonna understand it,
而且我不理解为什么我们今天要谈这些 and I also don't understand why we have to talk about this today.
因为我最好的哥们死了 Because my best friend is dead,
而他是因为舍己救人 and he died trying to help people,
所以如果要谈这事 so if you ask me, it kind of seems like
今天再合适不过了 the perfect day to talk about it.
穿这件 This one?
好吧 Sure.
鞋子呢 Um, shoes?
你选 You pick.
你好 牧师 Hi, reverend.
你好 朱莉 Hello, Julie.
苏珊 Susan.
我想给你看 I, um, wanted to show you
为麦克葬礼准备的草稿 a... rough draft of Mike's funeral service.
这是我们之前讨论过的 It's what we discussed--
标准教徒葬礼 a standard episcopalian ceremony.
我确定会没问题 I'm sure it'll be fine.
我只想知道 你是否想加些 Um, just wanted to see if you'd like to add anything
更私人的东西进去 to make it a little more personal.
比方说读物 Readings, for example.
他有什么钟爱的诗歌吗 Did he have any favorite poems?
有什么钟爱的作家吗 Any favorite writers?
麦克不怎么爱看书 Mike really wasn't much of a reader.
没关系 That's fine.
你准备在葬礼上说些什么吗 Were you planning on saying something during the service?
比方说"我真希望没人杀了我丈夫"吗 Like what, "I wish someone hadn't murdered my husband"?
妈 Mom...
-他只是想帮忙 -我知道 抱歉 - He's just trying to help. - I know. I'm sorry.
我只是... I just, uh...
我不知道说什么才足够 I don't know what I would say that would be enough.
我不知道如何告诉大家麦克是怎样的人 I don't know how to tell people what kind of man Mike was...
他是怎样的父亲 丈夫和朋友 What kind of father and husband and friend he was.
我只是... I just...
从没想过会在他还没走完一生前 never thought I would have to sum up his life
就要提前总结他的一生 before he was... done living it.
一切都会好的 It's going to be okay.
拜托 牧师 Please, reverend,
我现在唯一确定的事 If there's one thing that I know for sure at this moment,
就是... is that...
什么都不会好了 nothing is ever going to be okay again.
苏珊现在怎么样 How's Susan holding up?
她会很高兴你来了 She'll be really glad you came.
你给我打电话后 我就搭第一班飞机来了 I caught the first flight after you called me.
我只是... I'm just, uh...
我还没缓过神来 I'm still in shock.
你知道我一早上都在想什么吗 You know what I keep thinking about all morning?
还记得那次你 我 麦克 还有苏珊 Do you remember that time you, me, Mike, and Susan
在湖边租的那些船舱吗 rented those cabins by the lake?
不是吧 那些浮船 Oh, no. The pontoon boat?
对 那艘汽油表坏了的浮船 Yeah, the pontoon boat with the broken gas gauge.
我还不停跟大家说 "别紧张" And I kept telling everybody, "Don't worry.
"他们会来找我们的" They'll come looking for us."
然后太阳都落山了 And then the sun started to go down.
谁知道麦克泳技那么好 Who knew Mike was such a great swimmer?
是 游到岸上至少得半英里 I know. It was half a mile to shore, at least,
还是那么冰凉的水 in cold water.
他真是条汉子 He was an amazing guy.
我只是无法相信 我再也见不到他 I just can't believe I'm never gonna see him
从那栋房子里走出来了 walk out of that house again.
对不起 I'm sorry.
你们来之前我还把情绪控制得很好 I've been doing a really good job keeping it together until now.
别难过了 勒奈特 I'm so sorry, Lynette.
看来他真是个好人 He really seemed like a good guy.
对 他是个好人 Yeah. He was a great guy.
我们得走了 Well, we should probably get going.
要我们顺路载你去教堂吗 You want to ride with us to the church?
不用 我还得准备一下 No. I still have to get ready.
你们先去吧 So you guys go ahead.
布里 Hey, Bree.
别告诉我你要穿这一身去葬礼 Oh. Please tell me you're not wearing that to the funeral.
我正要和你说这事 Uh, actually that's why I was coming over.
我不去葬礼了 I'm not going to the funeral,
能否麻烦你转告苏珊 我非常抱歉 so could you please tell Susan how sorry I am?
你必须去 紫藤巷的邻居们都去 You have to be there. The whole neighborhood is going.
是啊 他们肯定都在想 Uh, yeah, and they'll all be thinking,
"麦克就是为了保护她" "There's the woman that Mike was protecting
"才去和放高利贷的大打出手的" "when he beat up that loan shark.
"就是她害死了他" She's the reason he's dead."
雷尼 Renee--
麦克为我出生入死 Mike stuck his neck out for me,
现在苏珊成了寡妇 and now Susan's a widow,
还有个九岁的孩子没有了爸爸 and a 9-year-old kid has to grow up without a father.
我知道你对发生的事情非常愧疚 Look, I know you feel awful about what happened,
但是今天是要去缅怀麦克 but today is about honoring Mike.
你不该让愧疚感占了上风 You do not get to make this about your guilt.
你为什么这么看我 Why are you looking at me like that?
因为你是对的 Because you're right,
真让我不爽 and it's annoying.
来吧 Come on.
去换身衣服 我给你留个座 Go get changed, and I will save you a seat.
真讨厌今天 Ugh. I really hate today.
我也是 Me, too.
范德坎普夫人 Mrs. Van De Kamp?
有事吗 Can I help you?
我是埃雷迪亚警探 美景镇警察局 I'm Detective Heredia, Fairview P.D.
如果是有关麦克·德尔非诺的谋杀案 Oh. Uh, if this is about Mike Delfino's murder,
我很乐意帮忙 可是... I'd be happy to help, but...
我猜你也发现了 我正准备前去他的葬礼 as you can see, I'm on my way to his funeral.
其实 麦克的案子 我们已经下令逮捕了 Actually, we already made an arrest in that case.
谢天谢地 Thank God.
我是来找你说另一件事的 I'm here on an unrelated matter.
一件人口失踪调查案 It's a missing persons investigation.
是吗 Oh?
对 我想请你回警局协助我们调查 Yeah, I'd like you to come down and answer some questions.
现在嘛 Now?
有请 Please.
当加布走进麦克·德尔非诺的葬礼时 As she arrived at Mike Delfino's funeral,
她在想她的朋友苏珊 正经历怎样的痛楚 Gaby considered what her friend Susan must be going through.
毕竟 麦克是苏珊一生的挚爱 After all, Mike was the love of Susan's life,
这让加布想到了 自己的挚爱 and that got Gaby thinking about the love of hers.
那么... 你有什么想法 So... what do you think?
浮想联翩 A lot of things.
大多都很下流 Most of them obscene.
我也很喜欢 I like it, too!
皇室婚礼风 略带一点点的风骚 It's royal wedding with just a hint of slut.
多少钱 So... how much?
管它呢 物有所值就行 Who cares? You get what you pay for,
而且我这个人都给你了 and you are getting this.
一万二美金 亲娘咧 $12,000? Dios mio.
我们的第一栋房子都没它贵 We didn't even pay this much for our first house.
一个稻草泥土盖的房子能值多少 Yeah, well, how much can mud and straw cost?
女士们 Ladies.
这是个喜事儿 We are having a nice time.
大家和气一点行吗 Let's try and keep it that way.
妈妈 说实话 你喜不喜欢这件 Now be honest, mama. Don't you like the dress?
只有白色的吗 Does it only come in white?
我只想说 底子烂 怎么包都不够美 I'm just saying, she's not fooling anybody.
可我觉得 她美极了 Well, I think she looks beautiful.
就这件了 We'll take it.
不行 No.
不能让你这么花钱 I will not let you spend money like that.
能让我们单独聊聊吗 Uh, could you give us a moment?
你要做什么 What are you doing?
她爱这件婚纱 你却不停地唱反调 She loves the dress, and you keep insulting it.
卡洛斯 你难道还没明白吗 You just don't get it, do you, Carlos?
这只是个开始 This is only the beginning.
你一旦给了她这件婚纱 她就会得寸进尺 You give in to her with this dress, she'll bleed you dry.
相信我 那个女人就是个掘金女 Trust me. That woman is a gold digger.
反击啊 卡洛斯 反击 Hit her, Carlos. Hit her.
妈妈 Mama,
你知道我爱你 you know I love you,
但如果你再这么说加比 but if you say one more critical thing about Gaby,
那就别来参加我们的婚礼了 don't bother coming to our wedding.
明白吗 Understood?
行 我想你主意已定 Well, I guess you've made your choice.
我希望她明白她是有多么的幸运 I just hope she realizes how lucky she is.
不对 No.
我是幸运的那个 I am the lucky one.
我从没遇到过和她一样的女人 I've never met anyone like her,
她给我的笑容 就是无价之宝 and when she smiles at me, you can't put a price on it.
所以就算一天工作二十小时 So I don't care if I have to work
能让她开心 我也在所不辞 20 hours a day to keep her happy.
我愿意 I'll do it.
卡洛斯 亲爱的 Carlos, sweetie,
你知道有样东西可以让这件婚纱更漂亮吗 you know what would really make this dress pop is...
算了 我不该问的 No, I shouldn't.
说吧 什么东西 Tell me. What?
可能有些贵 Well, it's probably too much,
一对钻石耳环 but a pair of diamond earrings?
那下一站就去珠宝店吧 Then our next stop is a jewelry store.
客厅地毯上的污渍是怎么弄的 What are those stains on the living room rug?
绿色的是胡安妮塔吐的 The green is Juanita's puke,
黄色的是西莉亚吐的 the yellow is Celia's puke,
红色的是我的葡萄酒 and the red is my merlot.
你什么时候下午就开始喝酒了 Since when are you drinking wine in the middle of the afternoon?
从俩孩子下午就开始吐的时候 Since the girls started puking in the middle of the afternoon.
你的汤好了 胡安妮塔 Your soup is coming, Juanita!
是的 西莉亚 你的也好了 Yes, Celia, yours, too!
给 换班吧 Here. My shift is over.
不行不行不行 加比 今晚不行 No. No. No. No. No. I can't, Gaby. Not tonight.
为什么不行 自从她们染上胃部流感 Why not? I've been with them since
我就一直被她们折腾 they got the stupid stomach flu.
我四天都没睡好觉了 I haven't slept in four days.
我想休息了 卡洛斯 I need a break, Carlos.
明天早上 十位日本的客户飞过来了 Tomorrow morning, ten clients from Japan are flying in,
为了把他们的巨额账户争取过来 and in order for me to win their giant account,
我得做个精彩演讲震住他们 I have to wow them with a PowerPoint presentation
而我甚至还没开始准备 that I have not even started yet.
我就听见你说巴拉巴拉日本巴拉巴拉了 All I hear is "Blahbety-blah. Japan. Blahbety blah."
我需要做个按摩 I need a massage.
天哪 又来 Oh, my god. Not again.
每次有铃声响 就有个天使断掉翅膀 Every time a bell rings, an angel does not get its wings.
出自童话 铃声响 有个天使得到翅膀
还有个孩子要挨打 A child almost gets hit!
没完没了的 It's just endless.
她们除了拉出来的 If something isn't coming out of their mouths,
都是吐出来的 it's coming out of their butts.
我要随叫随到 Every opening is on full service.
我受不了了 我快疯了 I can't do this anymore. I'm starting to lose my mind!
好啦 Okay.
去做按摩吧 今天我照顾她们 Go get your massage. I will take care of them tonight.
那日本的事怎么办 What about Japan?
这事更重要 This is more important.
我说过我会永远照顾你的 I told you I would always take care of you.
去吧 去做按摩 Go. Go get your massage.
姑娘们 老爸回来啦 给你们拿汤啦 Hey, girls! Daddy's home! I got your soup!
惊喜玉米卷餐 Surprise taco visit.
别激动 我没暗示什么 Don't get too excited. That's not a euphemism.
宝贝 我现在有点忙 Hey, babe, I'm kind of in the middle of something.
忙什么 反正肯定不是刮胡子 What are you in the middle of? Obviously not shaving
也不是喷香氛 你看起来像个恐怖分子 or putting on deodorant. You look like a terrorist.
你一会儿再来可以吗 Can you please just come back later?
好啊 只是 Okay. I mean,
我本以为一起吃饭会挺好的 算了 I thought it'd be nice to have lunch together, but fine.
我把这放这儿了 I'll just leave these for you.
麦克 Mike?
你好 加布 Hey, Gaby.
麦克可以来看你 我却不行 So Mike gets to come visit, but not me?
麦克只是来陪陪我 他很理解我的处境 Mike is just being a friend. He gets what I'm going through.
我以前也去过康复中心 Ah, I did my own little stint in rehab.
我知道这有多艰难 I know how hard this can be.
是啊 我怎么会懂 我只是他老婆 Right. What do I know? I'm only his wife.
加布 加布 等等 Gaby. Gaby, wait.
他只是暂时有点紧张 让他放松点吧 He's a little on edge right now. Cut him some slack.
你觉得我是故意来让他难受的吗 You think I came here to give him a hard time?
我只是想来陪他 I just want to be here for him.
我知道 可是你过来就会让他想起 Yeah, but you being here just reminds him
他搞砸了一切 how he's messing everything up.
他觉得自己让你失望了 He feels like he's failing you.
才不是呢 Oh, that's ridiculous.
那你觉得他为什么要躲着你 Why do you think he's pushing you away?
他不想让你看到这样的自己 He can't stand you seeing him like this,
说实话 我觉得他现在有点害怕 and frankly, I think he's a little scared.
害怕什么 Of what?
他一直是家里的顶梁柱 He's always provided for you,
如果某一天你觉得他不行了 and if you think he can't do that anymore,
他怕你会离开他 he's afraid you might leave him.
麦克是个好人 Mike was a good man...
你也是 And so are you.
你应该辞职 You should quit your job.
什么 但你说过 What? But you said that--
我说错了 I was wrong.
如果你觉得做顾问更快乐 If being a counselor's gonna make you happy,
那你就该去做顾问 then that's what you should do.
勒奈特看着苏珊和麦克的结婚照 As Lynette looked at a wedding photo of Susan and Mike,
想到他们悲剧的结局 she thought about the tragic end of their marriage,
也想起了她自己婚姻的开始 and that started her thinking about the beginning of her own.
我来吧 Oh, I got this.
不不不不 我来吧 No. No. No. No. No. I got it.
为什么 因为你是男的吗 Why? 'cause you're the guy?
不是 因为是我约你的 这样才公平 No, because I asked you out. It's only fair.
还是我来吧 Let me get it.
不 下次的 No. Next time.
下次 Next time?
你是在跟我约第二次吗 You're asking me out on a second date?
绝对的 Abso-tively.
但你要知道 我在约会三次之前 Okay, but you should know I have a 3-date rule
都不会考虑跟人上床的 before I even consider sleeping with someone.
声明一下 我可没期待什么 For the record, I wasn't, uh, expecting anything.
如果你现在请我去喝咖啡 That said, if you take me out for coffee now,
我可以把那个当做第二次约会 I would be willing to consider that a second date.
要是在那之后 And what if after that, I offered you
我再请你吃我车里的半根巧克力棒呢 half the candy bar I have in my glove compartment?
能当作第三次约会吗 Would that count as a third date?
不如我们先去喝咖啡 Let's have the coffee first
看看进展如何 怎么样 and see how it goes, shall we?
走吧 Let's get out of here.
我们要不要跟人力资源部汇报这事 So do we need to tell H.R. About this?
为什么要汇报 Why would we?
我觉得当两个员工开始办公室恋情 Well, I think they want to know
应该通知他们一声 when employees get in a relationship.
汤姆 我们不用把关系弄复杂了 Tom, we don't have to do the whole relationship thing.
我不是那种期待结婚戒指 I am not one of those girls looking for a ring
孩子 和郊区小屋的女人 and kids and a house in the suburbs.
虽然我挺想要白色尖木桩栅栏的 Although I am kind of partial to white picket fences.
你不觉得有一天会遇到个人 You don't think there's anybody out there
改变你这些想法吗 who can make you change your mind?
至少七年之内没有 Not for the next seven years.
我已经为当副总做了完整计划了 I have this whole plan where I become vice president.
美国副总统吗 Of the united states?
我是说公司副总裁 不过再说吧 I meant the company, but we'll see.
好啦 我能看了吗 我后背好疼 Okay. Can I look now? My back is aching,
脚踝肿着 而且你的手有股芝士味儿 my ankles are swollen, and your hands smell like cheese.
哒啦 Ta-da!
这是什么 What is this?
你的梦想之屋 It's your dream house.
这房子已经售出了 Someone already bought it.
是啊 售给我了 给你买的 Yeah, I did, for you.
你有病吧 What the hell's wrong with you?
哪能这么随便送房子的 You don't just buy someone a house.
除非它就是梦想之屋啊 The exception to the rule being dream houses.
不 你还是应该先问问我 No, you still should've consulted me.
我们应该一起做决定的 This is a decision we're supposed to make together
而且... 抽筋 我的脚 and... ow! Oh, cramp. Oh, my foot.
-来 坐这儿 -好 - Here. Sit down. - Okay.
坐 Sit down.
来 Here.
-哪疼 这吗 -对 就是这 - Where is it? Right there? - Right there. Right there.
好啦 承认吧 这种感觉真不错 Come on. Admit it. This is kind of nice.
是挺好的 只是 Yeah, it's nice, But...
我希望家里还一些特别的布置 I have certain things I want in a home.
我知道 比如造个树屋给双胞胎玩 I know. Like a-a tree house for the twins to play in.
那边有棵树正适合 There's the perfect tree for it.
还有草药园 And an herb garden--
房子另一边有个绝佳地点 There's a great spot on the other side of the house.
还有就是 And of course,
你的白色栅栏 跟你梦想中的一个样 your white picket fence, just like you always dreamed about.
等等 我从没说过想要白色栅栏 Wait. I never said anything about a white picket fence.
你当然说过 我们第一次约会的时候 Sure, you did. On our first date.
你说你最爱白色尖木桩的栅栏了 You said you were a sucker for a white picket fence.
我怎么可能第一次约会就告诉你 There's no way I said that on our first date.
你的确说了 我还记得是因为 You did. I remember, because
你一说完 as soon as you said it,
我就想象出咱俩坐在自家门廊上 I got this image of us sitting on our porch,
喝着柠檬水 watching our kids play
看着我们的孩子玩耍 while we drink lemonade
然后从我们的白色栅栏一眼望出去 and look out over our white picket fence.
这地方的确不错 Yeah, this does seem like a nice place.
抱歉我没跟你商量就买下了它 I'm sorry I did this without you,
但是我第一眼看到这房子 but I knew, when I saw this house,
就知道你会喜欢 that you would love it.
因为我比任何人都了解你 Because I know you better than anyone.
给 这些也是你的 Here. These are yours, too.
谢了 你介意我把CD播放器带走吗 Thanks. Um, do you mind if I take the portable cd player?
我做饭时听的那个吗 The one I use while I'm cooking?
不然我该怎么放CD啊 How else am I gonna play my CDs?
说的也是 拿走吧 Yeah. Sure. Take it.
好的 谢了 Okay. Thanks.
你怎么样 How you doing?
很好 这不就是不赚钱的清仓大甩卖 Great. It's all the fun of a garage sale without making any money
处理掉的还都是自己喜欢的东西 and only getting rid of stuff you really like.
你怎么不努力抗争一下 Why aren't you fighting harder?
不就是个唱片机而已 It's just a cd player.
我是说你的婚姻 I'm talking about your marriage.
勒奈特 你了解我 Lynette, you know me.
我不爱讨论这种话题 I hate talking about this stuff,
但是紫藤街所有人都知道 but everybody on the street knows
你和汤姆是天作一对 you and Tom are supposed to be together.
我说不好 I don't know.
现在我们对彼此有太多不满 At this point, there's so many bad feelings,
我觉得分开一段时间会好些 I think time apart will help us.
不会的 It won't.
我也经历过这些 我知道以后会怎样 I've been through this. All right, I know how it goes.
你们都等着对方让步 Each of you waiting for the other one
承认自己错了 哀求对方接纳自己 to admit they were wrong, beg to be taken back.
问题是 在等待的过程中 The problem is, the whole time you're waiting,
你们只会渐行渐远 you're just growing further apart.
但你和苏珊复合了 But you and Susan got back together.
我天天埋怨自己怎么跟她分离这么久 And I kick myself every day for letting it take so long.
我想说的是 What I'm trying to say is,
总要有人先让步 somebody's gotta make the first move.
我现在做不到 I can't right now.
我太生气了 I'm too angry.
总有一天你会消气的 And one day you won't be.
希望到时还不晚 I hope it's not too late.
你们俩都是如此 For either one of you.
别烦心了 亲爱的 Don't let it bother you, honey.
什么 What?
汤姆和女友一起出席 Tom, showing up with his girlfriend.
没事 我觉得他们俩长不了 It's fine. I actually don't think it's gonna last that much longer.
是吗 你听到风声了 Yeah? You heard something?
不 是我做出决定了 No, I decided something.
布里·范德坎普发现自己 Bree Van de Kamp found herself helpless
在强势男子面前很无助 in the face of a powerful man.
而这令她开始回想 And this got her thinking
自己从前对付强势男子的手段 about the ways she'd handled powerful men before
以及她习得这一手的过程 and how she'd learned to do it.
布里 Bree.
你在做什么 What are you making?
蜂蜜核桃派 Honey pecan pie.
这是你爸爸的最爱 It's your father's favorite.
我能帮忙吗 Can I help?
派做好了 Pie's done,
但是我可以教你怎么打奶油 but I can teach you how to make whipped cream.
当然了 我还有很多事情要先教给你 Of course there's so many things I should probably teach you first.
比如 Like what?
比如说 如何做女人 Like... how to be a woman.
这是我能教给你最重要的一课 That is the most important lesson I can pass down.
奶油越粘稠越要加快速度 好吗 As the cream thickens, you whip it a little faster, okay?
我长大后不就变成女人了吗 Don't I become a woman just by getting older?
不是的 布里 Oh, no, Bree.
有些事你太小了还不懂 There's some things you're too young to understand,
可是 but...
我想你已经长到可以学习假面的年龄了 I think you're old enough to learn about the mask.
假面 The mask?
我妈妈就这么叫它 It's what my mother called it.
它是你的面具 It's the face you wear
以防别人察觉你的想法 when you don't want people to know what you're feeling.
所有受过良好教养的女人 All well-brought-up women
都能掩饰自己的情绪 conceal their emotions.
这招对付男人尤其管用 It's very useful, especially when dealing with men.
为什么 Why?
如果一个男人知道了你的想法 Well, if a man knows what you're thinking,
他就有了控制你的力量 it gives him power over you.
比如说 For example,
如果男人知道你有多爱他 if a man knows how much you love him,
他就会对你熟视无睹 甚至伤害你 he'll take you for granted. He'll hurt you--
毫不在意 carelessly,
冷酷无情 cruelly,
周而复始 constantly.
爸爸知道你爱他吗 Does daddy know that you love him?
知道 我一次次地告诉他 Yes. I have told him repeatedly
我不能没有他 that I cannot live without him.
如果你那么生他的气 If you're so upset with him,
为什么还要给他做最爱吃的派 why are you making his favorite pie?
因为过了这许多年 Because after all of these years,
我忘了如何戴上自己的假面 I've forgotten how to wear my mask.
所以我必须分散你爸爸的注意力 So now I must do things to distract daddy.
比如用这个派 Like this pie.
等我把它端出来 他会激动万分 When I bring it out, he'll be so excited,
以至于忽略我眼中的绝望 he won't notice the devastation in my eyes.
绝望 Devastation?
对 这是种情绪 Mm-hmm. It's an emotion.
如果你的朋友打来电话说 The kind you might feel when your friend calls
你丈夫的别克停在一家宾馆的停车场 to say your husband's lesabre was seen
紧挨着他秘书的博纳维尔车 in the parking lot of a certain motel,
你就会感到绝望 next to his secretary's bonneville.
练习下你的假面吧 Practice your mask.
不对 宝贝 过头了 Oh, no. Honey, that's too much.
你只需嘴角带些笑意 All you need is the hint of a smile.
很好 Perfect.
带着这样的笑容 With an expression like that,
就没有人能够读懂你真实的内心了 No one will ever know what you're really thinking.
那我是不是就能驾驭男人的心了 And I'll have power over men?
老天啊 但愿如此 God, I hope so.
你在为什么事情生气呢 Why are you angry?
谁说我生气了 Who says I'm angry?
这么多年的夫妻了 After all these years,
我难道还不知道你心里在想什么吗 you don't think I can read you?
既然你对我如此了解 Well, if I'm such an open book,
那你就猜猜看我为什么生气呢 what am I angry about?
所以你承认你在生气咯 So you admit you're angry.
我什么也没承认 I admit no such thing.
你知道吗 You know...
你总是这样 This thing you're doing...
我总是怎么样了呢 And what thing would that be?
你总是给自己戴上这样一副面具 You put on this plastic face
以致于我根本不知道你的真实想法 To keep me in the dark about what you're really feeling.
我每天都如履薄冰 A-and I walk around on eggshells for days,
却永远都摸不着头脑 Not knowing which end is up.
可能是我觉得 把自己每一个 Well, maybe I don't feel safe
想法和感觉都告诉你 很没有安全感 Sharing every single thought and emotion I have with you.
你怎么能这么说呢 Well, that's a horrible thing to say.
你应该对我有安全感 Of course you can feel safe with me.
我是你的丈夫啊 I'm your husband.
我爱你 I love you.
告诉我吧 Please.
好吧 Okay.
甜点过后 After dessert,
你对加布丽尔... You paid a certain...
大加赞扬 compliment to gabrielle.
你跟我开玩笑吧 You gotta be kidding.
你那样很伤人的 It was hurtful.
我伤着谁了 To who?
我啊 To me.
你说她是你此生见过的最美丽的女人 You told her she was the most gorgeous woman you'd ever met.
-她可是个模特啊 -我不管 - She was a model. - I don't care.
你怎么能当着你妻子的面这么夸别人呢 You don't say that with your wife standing right next to you.
我要去睡觉了 I'm going to bed.
现在吗 Now?
是你让我告诉你我的感受的 You wanted to know what I was feeling.
我觉得... I'm feeling...
很伤心 很丢脸 hurt and humiliated.
我觉得你这么想简直愚不可及 And I think you're dumb to feel those things.
你到底要不要睡觉呢 Are you coming to bed?
还是打算继续板着个脸呆在这儿 Or are you just gonna stay down here and pout?
其实 我只是想起了我的妈妈 Actually, I was just thinking about my mother...
想到她是多么的有远见 And how insightful she was.
对什么事情有远见 Insightful about what?
我马上上来 I'll be right along.
等我... I just want to, uh...
把这里打扫干净以后 tidy up first.
好吧 Okay.
对了 雷克斯 Oh, and, Rex?
明天的早餐我打算做比利时华夫饼 I'll be serving Belgian waffles for breakfast.
我的最爱啊 Wow. They're my favorite.
抱歉让你久等了 Sorry to keep you waiting.
没关系 It's quite all right.
只是我还是不太明白 Although I'm still a little unclear
你为什么要带我来这儿 as to why you brought me here.
你有听说过一个叫雷蒙·桑切斯的人吗 Have you ever met a man by the name of ramon sanchez?
恐怕没有 怎么了 No, I don't believe I have. Why?
他几个月前失踪了 He disappeared from his home a few months ago.
而我们刚刚得到线报 And we just got a tip
说他已经死了 That he's dead.
我的天哪 Oh, my.
你刚刚说你从未见过此人对吗 You say you never met him?
雷蒙·桑切斯 确实从未听过这个名字 Ramon Sanchez. No, that name doesn't ring a bell.
是这样的 依这条线报所言 Well, you see, because of this tip,
有人认为是你杀害了桑切斯先生 someone out there is accusing you of killing Mr.Sanchez.
老天哪 这简直是无稽之谈 Oh, good heavens. That's just silly.
而巧合的是 And as it happens,
我们的确在线人给我们提供的地点 Mr. Sanchez was found exactly
找到了桑切斯先生 where the tipster said he would be.
那他... And was he--
死了吗 Dead?
没错 他已经死亡 Yes, ma'am.
太可惜了 What a shame.
因为你被指认为杀害桑切斯先生的凶手 Because you have been identified as Mr.Sanchez's killer--
所以你们没别的选择 只能带我来问话 You had no choice but to bring me in for questioning.
我能理解 I understand.
所以我必须问问你 So I have to ask you...
是不是你杀了他 Did you kill him?
绝对不是 Absolutely not.
我不得不承认 你让人难以捉摸 I must say, you are hard to read.
谢谢 多谢你的赞美 Thank you. What a lovely compliment.
你认为这是一个赞美 You think that's a compliment?
我从小就被教育说要喜怒不形于色 I was raised to be composed at all times.
而这无疑是个让人很压抑的环境 This is obviously a very stressful situation--
发现我被人指控谋杀 Finding myself accused of a horrific crime.
可是你称赞我... And the fact that you would think
说我的行为举止都很得体 that I'm comporting myself with a measure of grace and dignity--
你能这么说 实在是非常贴心 Well, that's a thoughtful thing to say. You're very sweet.
你还有什么别的要问的吗 Now do you have any other questions?
我也不想催你 I hate to rush you,
可是我快赶不上我一位挚友的葬礼了 But I'm late for the funeral of a very dear friend.
没什么要问的了 I can't think of a thing.
认识你非常开心 Well, it was lovely meeting you,
衷心希望你们找出杀害桑切斯先生的真凶 And I do hope you find out what happened to Mr.Sanchez.
我们会的 I'm sure we will.
看到没 我怎么跟你说来着 See? What did I tell you?
她确实有一手 She's something all right.
只是不知道我们有什么证据能把她抓起来 I'm just not sure what we got by bringing her down here.
我们有她的指纹 We got her fingerprints.
"复活在我 生命如斯" "I am the resurrection.And the life..."
当苏珊听着牧师 As Susan listened
对麦克的那些赞美之词时 to the kind words the minister had to say about Mike,
她感觉自己恍然若失 She found herself at a loss.
她知道人们希望能听到她说几句 She knew people wanted to hear from her,
可是她对于该说些什么毫无头绪 But she had no idea what she wanted to say.
我真是不敢相信你居然逼我抱你回来 I can't believe you're making me do this.
等等 我觉得你想说的其实是 Oh, wait. I think what you mean to say is,
"苏珊 我可爱美丽动人的苏珊 "Susan, sweet, wonderful Susan,
"感谢你嫁给我 并给予我 "Thank you for marrying me and allowing me the honor
将这美臀抱回家的无上荣誉" of carrying your beautiful behind inside our house."
你现在是烂醉如泥啊 You are so drunk right now.
没有 我没醉 我只是 No, I am not. I'm just--
我这辈子从来没有像今天这么开心 Oh, I've never been this happy in my life.
感觉身子轻飘飘的 I feel like I could float.
我也希望你轻点 I wish you could.
是啊 我也很快乐 Yeah, I'm happy, too.
就这一句吗 That's it?
"我很快乐" "I'm happy"?
这一句包含了千言万语 Well, that covers it.
你想听什么话 What do you want from me?
我又不是那种很会说话的人 I'm not a big... word guy.
好吧 先生 Okay. Come on, mister...
坚毅寡言先生 Strong and silent.
怎么了 What?
给我写首诗 Write me a poem.
我可干不来这种事 Oh, leave me alone with this stuff.
这是我的新婚之夜 我想要听首诗 It's my wedding night, and I want a poem.
快点 好好想想 Come on. Let's go.
我记得的都是小时候听来的 All I remember is this thing from when I was a kid.
那也行 I'll take it.
给我读首诗 老公 Give me my poem, husband.
一见倾心 I love you once.
再见倾情 I love you twice.
我爱你 此生不渝 I love you more than beans and rice.
多美的诗啊 Now that is a poem. Oh.
你们这么做非常明智 It's really smart you guys are doing this.
去世前不留遗嘱 那才可怕 When people die without a will, it can be a nightmare.
你还好吗 宝贝 You okay, honey?
我当然很好 Of course I'm okay.
我们接下来的两天 We're about to talk about us dying
都要讨论死后的事情 for the next two days.
没人喜欢谈这个 希望这么说能让你好受点 If it makes you feel any better, nobody enjoys this.
真令人吃惊 I'm shocked to hear that.
你这里面还有癌症手册吗 You got any cancer pamphlets in there?
说不定我们还英年早逝呢 In case we finish early.
苏珊 别闹脾气 这很重要 Susan, come on. This is important.
我们要迎来小生命 我们买了房子 We got the baby coming. We got the house.
我并不是说遗嘱不重要 I'm not saying a will isn't important.
我的意思是今天天气很不错 I'm saying it's a beautiful day.
我们应该去散散步或干点别的 We should take a walk or something.
等到一个舒适沉闷的雨天 And deal with this dying stuff...
我们再商议死亡事宜 on a nice, dreary, rainy day.
洗手间在那边 鲍勃 Um, bathroom's right there, Bob.
我不想上洗手间 I don't need to use the bathroom.
也许我是要去一趟 Or maybe I do.
好吧 你怎么了 Okay. What is it?
我们在给自己招厄运 We're jinxing us.
我们这么做 简直是在告诉死神 "快来吧" By doing this, we're telling death, "Come on in."
不 如果你不做这件事 那才是厄运呢 No, it's when you don't do this that it's a jinx.
我是个水管工 Look, I'm a plumber,
人们只有在厕所爆炸了 and it's always the people that don't have homeowner's insurance
才想起应该给家里上份保险 whose toilets explode.
现在保险多贵啊 Is it what they eat?
你没理解我的意思 Missing my point.
不是 我是在回避你的意图 No, avoiding your point.
去洗洗手 Go wash your hands.
拜托了 Please?
我们周六再讨论这件事吧 我保证 We'll do it Saturday. I promise.
我知道这很难 但就随了我吧 好吗 Look, I know it's tough, but indulge me, okay?
如果真发生了什么事 Because if something happens,
对我来说 there's nothing more important to me
没有什么比安顿好你和小宝贝 than knowing that you and you...
更重要的事情了 are taken care of.
鲍勃 过来吧 Bob, come on!
你在厕所里待着 我们可不会付你钱 We're not paying you to go to the bathroom.
这正是我想说的 Oh, this is what I'm talking about.
神户牛肉 芝麻菜 山羊芝士 None of that kobe beef, arugula,
这些都是扯 and goat cheese nonsense.
随便哪天 给我块上好的 Give me good old-fashioned ground beef,
老式牛肉 美国奶酪 卷心莴苣就足矣 American cheese, and iceberg lettuce any day.
我很高兴你这么开心 Well, I am glad you're happy,
但为了吃份汉堡 But I am not sure that any burger is
开车半个小时 我觉得不值 worth a half-hour drive in the car.
那是因为你还没咬上一口 That's just 'cause you haven't taken a bite yet.
胡安妮塔说布里·范德坎普夫人的男友 Juanita said Mrs. Van de kamp's boyfriend
被一辆车撞死了 got killed by a car.
没错 Uh, yes.
是的 他是死了 Yes, he did.
这是一场事故 And it was an accident.
非常令人悲伤 It was very sad.
但你不必担心 But you don't have to worry.
我们只要记着过马路时 As long as we remember to look both ways
两边看看 before we cross the street,
这事就永远不会发生在我们身上 that'll never happen to us.
我们死后会去哪 Where do we go when we die?
上天堂 Well, you know, we go to heaven.
我知道 但是人人都会上天堂吗 I know, but does everyone go?
你认识的每个人都会上天堂 Everyone you know will go to heaven.
动物们呢 What about animals?
动物们也上天堂 Animals go to heaven, too.
虫子呢 What about bugs?
虫子很烦人 Bugs are annoying.
我们不让虫子上天堂 We don't want bugs in heaven.
那吃虫子的动物呢 What about the animals that eat the bugs?
它们会不会饿呢 Won't they starve?
你说的对 You're right.
天堂里也有虫子 There are bugs in heaven.
但如果所有的人和所有的动物 But if all the people and all the animals
以及所有的虫子都居住在天堂里 and all the bugs that ever lived go to heaven,
那不是很挤吗 isn't it super crowded?
不会的 亲爱的 No, sweetie.
天堂很美好 Heaven is perfect.
怎么美好呢 天堂是什么样子 How is it perfect? I mean, what's it like?
接下来交给你了 You wanna jump in here?
伙计 这里就是天堂 Buddy, this is heaven.
是吗 It is?
当然 和世界上 Sure. Sitting with the people
你最爱的人坐在一起 you love more than anything in the world,
吃着双层牛肉汉堡 就如同天堂了 eating a double cheeseburger and fries--it's gotta be heaven.
-你知道天堂里还有什么吗 -什么 - You know what else is heaven? - What?
可以钓鱼的地方 That place we fish.
在瀑布边吗 Near the waterfall?
是的 也是天堂 Yep. Heaven.
我们在一起看足球比赛 And when we watch football together
你妈妈还会给我们端来一盘小吃 and mom brings us trays of snacks.
那也是天堂吗 That's heaven, too?
如果天堂就是能让你最快乐的地方 If heaven is supposed to be the happiest place you can be,
那我说的这些 对你来说不是天堂吗 don't all those places sound like it to you?
这些汉堡包是用什么做的 What are hamburgers made out of?
我知道这里面不是火腿 'cause I know they're not ham.
感谢各位前来参加麦克·德尔非诺的丧礼 Thank you for coming to help honor Mike Delfino's life.
现在请大家随家属去墓地送他最后一程 The family invites you to join them at the cemetery.
我有话想说 I changed my mind.
大家好 Hi.
之前我没想要致辞 I-I wasn't, uh, planning to say anything
是因为 because, uh...
我根本不知道该说些什么 I had absolutely no idea what to say.
麦克生前从没跟我讨论过他想要怎样的葬礼 Mike and I never talked about what he wanted for a funeral.
这是因为 I think it's because, um...
你们都了解他 Well, you know Mike.
他 比较沉默寡言 He... wasn't really much of a talker.
今天有几位好友 Some of you,
特地来拥抱了我 as you came by to hug me today,
安慰我说他现在去了更美好的地方 you said that he's in a better place.
知道吗 我 And you know what? I...
我现在意识到 I realize now...
的确如此 he is.
他正坐在一家餐馆 He... is in a diner...
与所爱的家人一起享用芝士汉堡 eating cheeseburgers with his family...
正在瀑布边 And he's fishing
垂钓 at a waterfall...
正在跟儿子一起收看橄榄球比赛 And he's watching football with his son,
像个疯子一样大吼大叫 yelling like a maniac.
所以 So...
既然他已经去了 since he has to be in...
这么多美妙的地方 all those wonderful places...
我要跟他道一声再见了 I'm going to have to say good-bye to him now.
麦克 再见了 Good-bye, Mike.
一见倾心 I love you once.
再见倾情 I love you twice.
我爱你 此生不渝 I love you more than beans and rice.
奇异恩典* *Amazing grace
如此甘甜* *How sweet the sound
我等罪人 竟蒙赦免* *That saved a wretch like me
昔我迷失* *I once was lost
今归正途* *But now I'm found
曾经盲目* *Was blind
重又得见* *But now I see
如斯恩典* *Was grace that taught
令心敬畏* *my heart to fear
如斯恩典* *And grace
免我忧惧* *my fears relieved
归信伊始 恩典即临* *How precious did that grace appear
何等奇异 何其珍贵* *The hour I first believed
冲决网罗 历经磨难* *Through many dangers toils and snares
风尘之中 我在归来* *I have already come
恩典眷顾 一路搀扶* *This grace that brought me safe thus far
靠它指引 终返家园* *And grace will lead me home
麦克是对的 You know what? Mike was right.
这真是我此生吃过最美味的汉堡 This was the best freaking burger I've ever had in my life.
你说得没错 You got that right.
苏珊 你什么都不吃 不饿吗 Susan, you haven't eaten a thing. Aren't you starving?
0-5-1-6-0-2 0-5-1-6-0-2.
我才想起来 I-I just remembered--
这是麦克语音信箱的密码 it's Mike's password for his voice mail.
我得给通讯公司打个电话 I have to call the cell phone company,
要不他们还得多收我一个月钱 or they're gonna charge us for an extra month.
交给我吧 I can do that for you.
明天一早我就打 I will call them first thing tomorrow morning.
MJ报名了 M.J. signed... up
本年度少棒队的投手 for pitching for Little League this year.
本来应该是麦克教他的 Mike was supposed to teach him.
亲爱的 我让卡洛斯教他 Oh, honey, I'll send Carlos over to coach him.
我生这两个女儿都不爱好体育 I gave him two girls who hate sports,
所以他一定会超兴奋的 so he'll be thrilled.
麦克总是用一个小玩意 Mike was always checking the tires on our car
检查我们的车胎 with this thingy.
但我不知道那个小玩意哪去了 I don't know where the thingy is.
那个东西很重要 有了它才安全 I just know it was important and it kept us safe.
我家的车还是汤姆来打理的 Hey. Hey. Tom's still taking care of our cars.
从现在起 要他把你的车一起打理了 I'll just tell him to add yours to his to-do list from now on.
苏珊 我们会竭尽所能 Susan, we are gonna do everything we can
来支持你 to hold you up, okay?
好 Okay.
是的 死神会夺走一些东西 Yes, as much as death takes from us,
同时也会赋予一些东西 it also gives.
教会我们生命中最重要的事 It teaches us what's truly important...
比如索取一生终须回报 Like giving back after a lifetime of taking...
比如去追回本不该放手的人事 Going after something we never should have let go of...
或是去回忆什么造就了今天的自己 Or looking back on what made us who we are.
但有时 一个人的离世 But sometimes the lessons learned after a person's death
却要由意料之外的人承担责任 aren't the ones we expected.
分析结果显示杯子上的指纹 Forensics says the prints on the mug
与死者身上找到的指纹吻合 match the prints we found on the dead guy.
她跟查克恋爱那段时期 Whole time she was dating Chuck,
由始至终我都没信过她 I never trusted her.
现有证据够拘捕她吗 You think we got enough to arrest her?
差不多 Probably.
先等等 Let's hold off.
等铁证如山的时候再把这个贱人一举拿下 I wanna make sure we get enough to put this bitch away for good.