No. Cowboys and Indians. Bang-bang.
Up the stairway all of you. Go on. Hurry up. Quickly.
Bang, bang, bang!
Good job, Winifred. You got them here right side up and kicking.
Kicking is right. They are certainly a handful.
I'm glad those kids are here where it's safe.
Make that "where it's safe as yet".
Scare me some more. Tell me how it is going to be when they bomb Omaha.
It's not going to be nice, Junior.
Not going to be nice at all.
Six months.
That's a long time to be away.
Three years is longer.
I'll sure be glad to see her.
Who, the Statue of Liberty? You've just passed her.
Nope. I mean my other best girl.
You say, your "other"? - Sure. Her name is Paula.
A great gal. I saw a lot of her before I left.
Paula, huh?
You never told me about her.
Do I have to tell you everything? - Not a bad idea.
Anybody I know? - And nobody you owe either.
I want to marry her, Jonny.
No fooling?
That's it exactly. No fooling.
You think it is big, important stuff, huh?
And the babe? Likewise?
From her letters, I'd say yes.
It wasn't all set up before you left?
Not quite. But this six months of being apart has done it. Made it solid.
Six months?
If it took you that long to make up your mind, it's no good.
Nothing will come of it. - How do you know?
Nothing ever lasted six months with you. Not even the seven-year itch.
Maybe so, Junior. But when I meet the ultimate babe, I'll know it.
Like that! So will you.
Well, I might be just slow and sure, Jonny.
Awful sure. - Listen, Junior.
Guys like us are strictly cash and carry on.
Make hay and then make tracks.
A war correspondent has got no business getting married.
You're selling me, Jonny. - And you're getting a bargain.
It might have cost you a trip to Reno to find out the same thing.
Jonny, Kirk. - Hi, honey.
My goodness, Jonny.
How is your goodness these days?
You can tell our revered editor we'll see him now.
Jonny, Mr Stafford is pretty mad at you.
He's mad? Huh!
In view of progress made in Washington by the Japanese diplomatic mission.
The prospect of war between this nation and Japan becomes more remote that ever.
As a matter of fact, informed sources have indicated.
That an unofficial agreement to guarantee peace ..
Has already been reached.
Print that on page 1 column 8 for the banner line.
Now, Davis.
I must hear your version of why you and your brother were kicked out of Germany.
That's easy. For tracking down the truth.
And writing it.
You're like all the crackpots who think this country is headed for trouble.
You're an old maid looking under the bed for burglars.
That's no place to look for burglars nowadays.
You'd find him right in bed with you.
You disregarded my instructions.
You kept on filing stories that offended nations with which we are at peace.
And you cut the heart and liver out of our best despatches.
We can't publish warmongering rumors.
Alarmist tripe. - "Yes?"
Send Charlie in. I'm ready for my massage.
You say tripe. I say truth.
The only time a paper justifies its existence is when it prints the truth.
Not when it gets the most advertising.
We've got a story that's too hot for the cables.
And we'll get it printed, Chief.
The Chronicle isn't the only paper in town.
You can mail my pension to me.
Hold on.
Let me see this masterpiece. - You won't like it.
I paid for it. Let me see it.
Well if ain't the Davis boys. - Hiya, Charlie old boy.
Greetings of the season, Charlie. Long-time no rub.
Hey, how did you find Berlin?
Strictly by our sense of smell.
Moral dynamite.
Davis, I've got an ironclad contract with you.
You try to get this printed and I'll run you out of the business.
This story is dead.
Here's the feature you'll read on the front page of the Chronicle today.
Safe, sane and solid.
The news you feed the average man must be as carefully chosen as his food.
More so.
It's a cinch he won't get fat on what you hand out.
I know my business, Davis.
I know just how far Mr John Q. Citizen will jump.
All ready, Mr Stafford.
Just a minute, Chief.
Did you ever take a good look at Charlie?
No.
What's wrong with him? - Not a thing.
He's Mr John Q. Citizen.
You talk about him a lot.
Take a good look at him. - What for?
Let's try that story out on him and see how far he jumps.
And if there is anything wrong with where he lands.
Alright, Davis.
I don't mind giving you a little object lesson.
Charlie. Come here.
Let's see what this does to your horse sense.
I'll give your side a real break. You read it to him.
Charlie.
We're about to make a one-man poll of you.
You're a human guinea-pig.
I'm taking bets right now you will prove my point.
So listen carefully and be ready to jump.
Just a minute, Chief.
Gather round, Charlie. Right over here.
You too, Junior.
We want hear every word of this.
Okay, Chief.
"By Jonny and Kirk Davis. Recently returned correspondents in Berlin."
"These facts gathered from the Japanese embassy under curious circumstances."
Curious circumstances.
I happen to know those curious circumstances.
Somebody gave the Japanese counsel a Mickey Fin in a glass of Sake.
"The Pacific Ocean is not nearly as wide as it seems .."
"When you try to paddle across it in a canoe."
"At the Japanese general headquarters."
"Which has moved from Tokyo to the Wilhelmstrasse."
You mean them two Aryans is working together?
"Plans are being laid to stab the United States of American in the back .."
"While presumably patting it on the shoulder."
"No-one can foretell just where the blow will fall."
"But Japanese troop movements and naval manoeuvres .."
"While ostensibly aimed at the subjection of China."
"Are in reality, directed at the United States."
Now I leave it to you.
Did you really expect me to print a thing like that?
Wouldn't that look fine?
Where, boss?
Where? You know where you'd like to see it.
You would like me to print it page 1 column 8 with a banner line.
Thanks. You gave it every break.
Well, Charlie?
What does the story you just heard make you think the United states ought to do?
I think the United States ought to wise up.
And go in there swinging.
You see how you'll make Mister Average Man react? He'd want to fight.
What's wrong with that? It's either fight or go under.
There are ways of avoiding a fight that ..
Mr Average Man doesn't have to worry his little head about.
I'm a reporter, not a psychologist.
Maybe there are ways of avoiding a slugfest.
Could it be that you are getting some sense?
It could be.
I doubt it.
Your kind never learn.
You don't see straight.
You are full of phony ideas about people.
People. Huh.
Why can't you see the rank and file as mostly rank.
Say, boss.
Isn't this record about due in the composing room?
It's overdue. Ring Miss Coulter.
Okay boss.
"Yes, Mr Stafford?" - Come in, honey.
Anything you say.
I wish you meant that, Davis.
You'd be the best man in your field if you'd keep your head.
I'm going to try.
From now on.
Yes, Mr Stafford?
Miss Coulter.
Get this moving. We're holding up the edition.
This is no time for butterfingers, Honey. This is for posterity.
I don't worry about being remembered. I want people to know I'm here now.
Oh, Expense account sheet. - Yeah?
I kept it down to the bone.
Ah well.
What's this? You bought an observation balloon?
It was an old one. It belonged to the Persians.
I think I'll go down and say hello to the boys.
Don't get in their way. They've got an edition to print.
[ Buzzer ]
Answer it, will you.
Office of the Grand Lama.
"What? Who is this?"
Jonny Davis. Remember?
How are you, Pearcley?
"Tell the Chief I just ran his record. What about that story?"
He wants to know what about your feature.
What does he mean: "what about the feature"?
Print it.
The Chief says:
What does he mean, what about your feature. Print it.
"What's that?"
You tell Pearcley if he misses the afternoon edition, he's fired.
And if you miss the afternoon edition.
You are fired.
"Well, alright. But this sure is a switcheroo of The Chronicle policy."
"The Chief never .."
What's this?
What goes on here?
What did Pearcley say?
What record is this?
Are you crazy?
Listen Charlie, my story is on that other record.
Yeah? - Yeah.
It's the truth and it belongs to guys like you.
Are you with me?
All the way. Ain't I one of the rank and file?
Come on, before that babe gets in here.
Hello? Mr Stafford?
Did Mr Stafford buzz me?
No. He's getting the works, honey.
Oh.
Hey, if we keep this up he will blow a gasket.
He's too fat for wrestling, - Five minutes to go.
If we turn him loose he'll run right and ..
Charlie.
I don't think he'll run very far.
Not after the little object lesson I will give him.
Chief.
You are an appeaser.
And an appeaser always gets in the neck.
He feels he gets what he wants by giving away things he thinks he doesn't need.
First .. he gives away his suit.
That's the Rhineland.
Then, he gives away his shoes.
One is: Austria.
The other: Czechoslovakia.
Then his socks.
That's Spain.
Then his shirt.
That's Poland.
And then his underpants. That's France.
On the button, Charlie.
Then there is only one thing left for Mr Appeaser to do.
Throw in the last thing he's got.
The towel.
You can let him up now, Charlie.
Kirk.
Clothes.
Davis.
He can still get somebody on that thing.
Not anymore.
This is sabotage.
He is going to get Miss Coulter.
I don't think he wants to call a lady in here now.
Do you, Chief?
And that Charlie, is how all appeasers end.
Stripped of everything. Out in the cold.
Extra, extra! Read all about!
Do I hear those presses roar?
Hello, Chief.
I do.
Here you are, Jonny. Page 1.
Good work, kid.
"Japan plots in Pacific." Well, what do you know?
This is what the Chief needs to stay warm.
Here you are, sire. Someday you'll thank me.
Come on, Charlie.
My hat.
Beat it down to the cashier with our expenses.
No. My girl's waiting.
She'll wait for an hour. She's spoilt.
But I'm late now. - Go on. Get going.
I'll meet you at Evie Manning's. Pick up our bags.
Mr Stafford wants you right away.
He's not buzzing me. - Oh, he will be.
He'll be buzzing everybody.
Come on, Charlie.
They'll never work on another newspaper.
I'll bash that Davis.
Do something! Get me a pair of pants!
Willy. - Uhuh?
How do they look?
They'll be fine.
Sure, after they leave your easel.
Don't run down your legs, honey. They've supported both of us for years.
Too long.
Some women only worry about double chins. I stew about my knees falling.
Anybody here? - It's Jonny.
Nobody else.
I'm back. - Darling!
Why didn't you warn us?
Yeah. We'd have moved.
What's new in the world? - My by-line is inside.
For further information see today's Chronicle. The Davis edition.
Where is Kirk?
He'll be around.
Home on the range.
Well. What's with you?
Still selling stockings with Evie's legs.
You know, it's like I told you, Willie.
There's no dough in legs. You should do a comic strip.
A comic strip? What do you call these?
Hey, where is my ashtray?
Here.
You've moved it.
Listen, my lamb. You've been gone three years.
I dusted a couple of times.
When, the first month?
Why not stop being a bully on the block? - You got clean sheets on my bed?
Yes and no.
What you mean, yes and no? You sound like a diplomat.
That's what I'm trying to be. I rented the room.
What? - After all, Jonny.
He'll find his trunk in the hall when he gets back.
It's a girl and she likes to be alone.
In isolation, huh?
You can't go up there.
Ow!
Will you kindly get this so-and-so out of my room.
Your room?
Hey, I bought that very bathtub you're putting rings on.
Are you going?
Not without a struggle.
Then will you please hand me my robe?
So I can throw you out, Mr Davis.
May I have your name in full?
What for?
Just call me "babe". You will anyway.
This is a war of nerves.
Shall I calm for them?
The nerve is yours, my friend.
Oh, can't ewe be more than just friends?
But we are.
But you still don't trust me.
Now I do.
Don't hurry. Most accidents occur in the bathroom.
Hey, you seem to think you know a lot about me, don't you.
Enough. If I put it in writing you could sue me.
Yeah?
Are you good to look at? - Wouldn't it be more fun to guess?
Okay.
I'll reconstruct the missing body from the evidence at hand.
Now to begin with, the ..
The body is quite a body.
You're getting warm.
You can raise that a couple of degrees.
And you are under twenty-five and terrific in the face.
You'd have to be to wear this hat.
Now let's see. Color of hair.
Yes, sir.
Why, you are a beautiful blond.
Hey, get away from that keyhole!
Yes, sir. A beautiful blond.
Blue eyes.
White skin.
A good set of biting teeth.
If you're not at the keyhole, how come you know exactly what I look like?
Wishful thinking, honey.
Hey, you like yourself a little bit, don't you.
Well, there is a mirror in here. Remember?
Listen, Narcissus.
These same clues could add up to a frowzy, bleached, lantern-jawed ..
Gimlet-eyed, leathery skinned, knock-kneed old crone ..
With a mistaken daring in hats.
And a ..
They do not, my friend.
Do they?
They do not.
Of course we know each other.
You bet.
I'm sure glad to set eyes on you again.
You know darned well you don't remember me.
What?
How could I ever forget you?
You won't.
Again.
How is Kirk?
Oh, you know Kirk too, huh?
Sure, I was the cub reporter when you brought Kirk to the Chronicle office.
Just before you left for Europe.
Ah, yeah now I remember. You were that blond girl.
My hair was red at the time.
Is Kirk still running errands for you?
Why?
Because one of the errands was to send Kirk with a note asking me for a date.
Oh, sure. Sure.
Say, what a night that was.
And what a conga you throw.
It was the rumba that year.
Anyway, we didn't dance.
No? - No.
Well, how could I with a sprained ankle?
But that was a swell 5-dollar dinner I blew you to.
Not even a ham sandwich.
No? - No.
Ah, now I remember. I was on a liquid diet.
Not your type.
You ever tried Sweet Surrender?
Not lately.
We didn't dance, we didn't drink, we didn't eat.
We must have done something.
Or were we just mental?
It was all mental.
Because you never kept the date.
That's an oversight that should be corrected.
Some other year.
Out, mister.
You ought to have that patented.
I will.
After I work out a few improvements.
I could suggest a couple.
I'll learn faster if you show me.
Hey you two. There is somebody down here to see you.
I think we're being paged.
I don't hear a thing.
I do.
Well, thanks for the fraternity pin.
Kirk, darling.
You look wonderful.
And you look good enough to eat, which isn't such a bad idea.
Evie, why didn't you tell me it was Kirk?
Well, seeing is believing, honey.
Come on, Eve. We've got to finish this stocking Ad.
Here I am. Back on my pedestal.
Hi, Jonny.
I see you met Paula already.
Yeah.
Is she everything I said?
And more.
You have a good trip, Kirk?
The only good part was getting back, honey.
Wait until you two really get acquainted.
Yeah, I can hardly wait.
I'd really like to know her better.
Well, to know her is to love her.
I wouldn't be a bit surprised.
Eve, weren't you amazed to see Kirk?
I was.
Nothing the Davis brothers ever do fazes me.
Do you mind if we use your couch, Jonny? - No. Not if you don't bounce.
Those springs aren't what they used to be.
Hey, we got to get ourselves a place to roost. We can't move in on Paula.
No?
What do you think?
Paula.
Well, three is a crowd.
We'll see about making that two, honey.
I'll get our stuff over to the Great Northern. Okay?
I wouldn't think of crossing you, Junior.
How about dinner?
Shall we all go out some place?
I got to finish this.
And he can't do it without me.
Me, I've got a story to cover.
Huh?
I'll meet you here at nine.
Okay.
Well, I want to get into something comfortable.
See you all later.
Well, how do you like her?
So far, so good.
Why didn't you tell me she lived here? - You didn't give me a chance.
You know, you really sold me a bill of goods today, Jonny.
The newspaper business and matrimony don't mix.
Well, I hope the lady won't be too disappointed.
It's the newspaper business I'm giving up.
I'll let you be flower girl if Paula doesn't mind.
Hey, do I hear wedding bells?
Yeah. What goes on?
Ah, she's the greatest girl I ever knew, Jonny.
Honest. Loyal. Straight from the shoulder. You'll find out.
Maybe I have already.
Listen, Junior. You're a war correspondent.
And there is a war going on. Remember?
You just can't walk out on it. - I can.
I got me a steady job all lined up.
Yeah?
Oh, listen, Jonny. Everybody is not like you.
You'd rather be a good reporter than ..
Shakespeare.
Shakespeare was a reporter.
Scooped Queen Elizabeth.
That's the thing to do with dames.
Scoop them but stay away from orders with them.
Sorry Jonny, but that's what I want to do.
A man may want to spend ten years of his life in bed with his hat on.
But he can't. History won't let him.
It will let me.
Maybe.
But I won't.
See you later, pals.
Perhaps we ought to do something big after we get together again.
Kill the fatted calf or something.
Don't look at me.
I've taken a little weight but not that much.
We got some presents for you in our bags as soon as I unpack.
I don't expect much. Just a diamond bracelet or two.
He's a great kid, Jonny.
Just giving a bum imitation of you.
Can't you see he's got his heart set on that high-octane upstairs?
And you can't expect a Linotype machine to win out over that, brother.
May as well sit back and nature takes its course.
Listen, Evie. I've looked out for Junior since he wore short pants.
I don't care what he does with his weekends.
But I do care what he does with the rest of his life.
But Jonny, you can't .. - Forget it. Kirk is my problem.
Kirk is Kirk's problem. Get that through your skull.
Oh sure, sure. But I've always helped the kid with his homework.
I'm a wow at long-division.
Particularly when things don't belong together.
Be back later. Got to cover a fire. A woman's angle.
Is that so? You know, I haven't seen a fire in years.
Especially from the woman's angle.
Tell Kirk Santa Clause's house is burning down.
How do you like that?
The same way I'd like another twenty pounds waist.
I wonder what he's up to. - I wonder what she's up to.
You know something.
I'll bet there ain't no fire.
There will be when they get there.
But look, I've told you ten times I've got things to do.
Sure you have. With me. And doing Madam Lugovska's is one of them.
You haven't lived until you have tasted Mama's borscht.
Once you have, you're never the same again.
That's what I'm afraid of.
Okay, bring on your borscht.
Jonny! From the heart, welcome. - How is the Russian bear?
Walking like a man. Just read the newspapers.
Hi, Anatole.
Professor Anatole. Astrologer. Predicted black Friday.
He should have made millions.
No. Somebody talked him out of it. He lost his shirt.
Joshka. How wonderful.
I am so happy to see you. - Been true to me?
True to you? Ha-ha ..
He asks.
He is naughty.
There are no naughty children. Only glandular cases.
Meet Paula Lane, Mama.
How do you do. - Hello.
Always a pretty girl.
We'll have drinks in the little dining room.
Joshka, Joshka.
I am very sorry. It cannot be. It is engaged.
What's the idea? I thought I had first call on that room.
What's the difference where we sit?
The difference between democrats and republicans.
Just like old times, the corner table.
Some people are having dinner in the little dining room.
But they can't stay there all night, Joshka.
No, don't underestimate your customers.
Same as usual?
For you?
The same as his same. - Oh, that's fine.
But do not agree with him too much.
Carlo.
Chinese special.
Well, what and who ..
Have you been doing these lost years?
Lost? - Yes. You didn't know me.
Go on, tell me about yourself.
Oh, I've been breathing in and out and ..
Writing little items. Fires, fashions and ..
Alderman's clam-bakes. - Strive and succeed. Onward and upward.
Well, not so far upward.
I'm working on it.
Jonny.
Thanks, pal.
Say, Dorloff.
See what you can do to get those folks out of my little dining room, huh.
I'll do my best.
You don't take me very seriously, do you.
As a girl reporter? I do not.
Stafford does.
There is a good chance of him sending me to the orient.
What for? Silk worms?
Indochina. A woman correspondent.
Don't look so male and superior.
I beat the town on ambassador Zucker's resignation.
What? Was that your story?
How did you get it? Don't tell me, I know.
You rolled your eyes and crossed your gams.
Well, we ..
We danced a little.
For the first time I understand the ambassador's domestic policy.
I'm glad you told me.
It wouldn't do to sell you short, baby.
Jonny.
I ..
It might interest you to know that the world is coming to an end.
Not unless it is tonight.
The stars say it will be April the 7th.
1987.
At 5:30 o'clock.
Daylight saving time?
That gives us exactly forty-five and half years.
The way things are going it won't be a minute too long.
Excuse me, professor.
You see, I have him in the middle of a trance.
Oh, pardon me. I didn't see you had a lady.
You weren't kidding about that trance.
You know, I'm working on a patent too.
A lie detector.
I'm trying it out on you.
How am I doing?
Batting a zero.
It's a great invention. It protects a girl in the clinches.
Say, what are you? A baseball player or a prize-fighter?
The lingo, I mean.
Oh.
My dad, he took care of a lot of broken-down athletes.
And newspapermen.
Rescue missions? - Health farm.
Well .. here is to health.
I know a couple of fine ways to improve it.
I wonder if Dorloff is making any headway up there.
Let's see. Where was I?
You weren't anywhere, but you were trying to get somewhere.
There's no question about it. You are the one.
One what?
The gal I've been thinking about all these years.
Ha!
Just a girl I made up in my mind.
One of my better dreams.
I never thought I'd meet her.
Suddenly a bathroom door opens and whambo!
Any girl that listens to the howl of a wolf is a goner.
Little Red Riding Hood didn't do so bad.
She didn't do so good.
Until she got wise.
Don't throw curves at me, Jonny.
Those aren't exactly angles you've been tossing at me, baby.
Alright. So, I am a goner.
Tell me some more beautiful fables.
Jonny, the lie detector. It's stopped working.
It blew out a fuse.
Oh sweet.
Sweet.
The crossroads of the Pacific.
Jonny.
The people in the little dining room. They finish there at three.
This shouldn't happen to a dog.
But I convinced them that dessert would not be good for them.
Look.
Coffee?
Maybe.
Excuse me.
Hey buddy, you're going in the wrong direction, aren't you?
No. We are going to have some coffee. - Oh no. No coffee. Don't think of it.
Bad for the nerves. Keeps you awake.
And sleep is just what you need. The door is that way.
Well thank you.
What's this?
Jonny, I'm glad of that minute between rounds.
Because I've got just enough sense left to walk to that door and out.
Sense has nothing to do with the way we feel.
The thing to do is close your eyes and let yourself go.
Goodbye.
She wasn't hungry, Jonny?
She is hungry alright but I guess she isn't starving.
I don't believe her.
I don't understand women sometimes.
Here is lesson number one.
When you find a blond the right age and weight who knows the value of suspense.
That is bad.
That is too bad. - It is terrible.
My heart bleeds.
Whose blond was this, yours or mine?
Here is a paper.
Anything in it? - Not enough.
Hey, that fire must have been hotter than you expected.
You know what I feel like?
I feel like I've been riding a bicycle up and down a rollercoaster track.
The bicycle has no handlebars.
No brakes either.
Well, was it fun?
Yeah. When I wasn't scared to death.
Eve.
Were you always dead sure of Willie?
I mean, did you want to believe him more than anything ..
And not quite be able to make it?
There was that time with the redhead next door.
Of course, honey. I've always been sure of him.
Lucky you.
Say, a telegram came for you.
What's the matter, still on that bicycle?
Yeah.
Want me to read it for you?
Please.
Probably somebody opening a new dry-cleaning establishment.
Say, it is from Stafford.
It's the Indochina job.
You are all set for it.
When do you start packing the pith helmet and he quinine?
I don't think I'm going, Evie.
Not what? Why, it's the chance of a lifetime.
Yeah, that's what I thought.
Yesterday.
Before I started this business.
Sure.
Am I the unromantic old hag.
Of course, you don't want to leave Kirk.
Until you get him good and married, I mean.
Did Kirk tell you that?
With gestures and what is known as a catch in his voice.
He is crazy about you, honey.
But he kind-of jumped the gun a little.
What's the difference?
You're lucky baby. He is somebody to tie to. A good risk.
Yeah.
I know.
Now the girl that snares Jonny ..
Had better have on good heavy gloves when she takes him out of the trap.
Why, I thought you liked Jonny.
Like him? I adore the big lunk-head.
Everybody does. That's what's wrong with him.
You talk as though he is little more than human.
Oh, he is human alright.
That's my point.
Too human.
Well, I love humanity.
So does Jonny, one at a time.
If he keeps his health he'll get around to everybody.
Eve, I'm all mixed up.
I don't know what to do. Whether to follow my emotions or ..
Or toss a coin, or what.
Kirk or Jonny, eh?
Yeah.
Heads or tails.
Baby, in this case I'd forget about the emotions. I'd toss that coin.
And be darned sure it comes up heads and not tails.
Hello everybody. - Hello.
Where is Willie? - He's inside taking a bath.
I told him he had to get the paint out from behind his ears.
Darling, - Kirk.
Tell him he must put on a neck-tie too. Here.
Two cravats from Bond Street for him. - You're an angel, angel.
And for you, Evie.
A little French number. Compliments of the Davis brothers.
Go on, take it. It's kosher.
From unoccupied France.
You're a great guy, Kirk.
He'll be ready in a minute.
It's about time I had a minute alone with you.
Hey, I got your present here somewhere.
I had it.
Something for your finger.
Kirk.
Don't give that ring to me.
Why not?
I'm not right for you.
Not right?
Honey, you're everything I want.
The best.
No, darling. That's what you are.
And just what you want me to be.
What do you mean?
Jonny and I went out for a drink after you left.
Fine.
As long as he didn't slip something in your glass.
He is famous for it.
I don't want to hurt you but ..
Well.
Suppose you tell me what you got on your mind.
Alright.
It's Jonny.
It's been Jonny for three years.
Ever since that first time I saw him.
That time he stood you up?
Yeah, I know.
Oh, I've tried to kid myself out of it.
I told myself that it was all wide-eyed stuff.
Told myself that he was all bad news. Poison.
That's where I come in? An antidote?
Or did I ever come in at all? - Oh, Kirk.
I think you're the swell-est person I've ever known.
And if Jonny hadn't come back. If he'd only stayed away.
I got to tell you something.
Jonny is a funny egg.
Very funny.
Maybe not his fault.
Women have a habit of throwing themselves at him.
Alright. I've got that coming too.
I did throw myself at him today.
I suppose I'll always throw myself at him.
Then just be sure of one thing.
Be sure he is there to catch you.
He'll be there.
Yeah? Wait until the chips are down.
They are down right now.
Stafford wants me to go to Indochina.
Indochina? That's dynamite.
I'm not going, Kirk. Jonny won't let me leave.
He won't.
You can't care for someone the way I care for Jonny and have it ..
Well, wasted.
Can't you?
I'm sorry, Kirk. - Shut up, will you.
Maybe you're right about Jonny.
I don't think so, and I don't hope so.
Please, darling.
I feel like a mule kicked me right in the stomach.
And I'd like to kill Jonny. That's all.
I'd like to kill him.
Behold us!
Kirk, your dress is wonderful.
Of course, I did just get my hips in.
I think you look pretty demi-mondainey.
If I didn't know you didn't know French, I'd have to slap you, darling.
Well, kids.
You look elegant. Both of you.
Eve and Willie, will you forgive me? I don't feel like going out tonight.
As a matter of fact I feel out already.
On my feet.
What's the matter with her?
Whatever it is, it's catching.
All of a sudden I've got a headache. Let's call off the celebration.
What do you mean, headache?
You just told me you felt like tearing the town apart with your teeth.
Put in your uppers, Willie.
That's just what we're going to do.
Evie and Willie's was never like this.
Why didn't you unpack for me?
You know, you got the Davis eye, kid.
The girl is terrific. - What girl?
Your girl.
Sure you don't want to try and change her status?
It might not be too hard. - No?
No.
I took her out for a soda.
With bourbon.
We went on from there.
Wound up and Mama Lugovska's.
Wound up how? Tight?
No. Just wound up.
Well, uncoil. What are you trying to prove?
That it isn't the world that's round, it is the heels that walk on it.
A guy's a cinch for a new shuffle before he gets a hand good enough to play.
I expect fast shuffles Jonny, but not from you.
My deal, kid.
And I didn't get one from Paula either. - Give her time. You will.
You should know that better than me. - I should?
Oh.
I saw her after she left you.
A two-timer, huh?
She isn't a woman, she's a football.
What's that, a flag you wave? Or the double standard?
When a man is a two-timer that's just normal.
But when a woman is a two-timer ..
She is strong drink and shouldn't be sold to minors.
I ought to poke you one. - What for?
If you can't read that babe then somebody has to do it for you.
You want me to spell out the words? - Spell away.
It rhymes with "champ".
But it means the opposite. - I ought to ..
About here. - About there.
It still rhymes with "champ", kid.
You can't change my mind about Paula.
Champ.
Well.
Well then, maybe we'll have to fix it so the babe changes hers.
So long, Jonny. It was nice being related to you.
Hi, Dorloff.
I got a date coming up. How about the ..?
Oh, it's all yours today, Jonny.
A date, eh? - Yeah.
A blond?
Everybody is blond.
Tell Mama to ice up a couple of bottle of champagne.
Champagne?
Jonny.
Well the best is none too good for everybody's blonds.
Demand isn't good enough.
Jonny.
I suppose I shouldn't have called you.
You just beat me to the telephone, honey.
You know, all the way over here I kept telling myself.
Take it easy, Pal.
Just a little more maidenly modesty please.
The little dining room, baby?
Ah, the heck with maidenly modesty.
Confidence is what a girl needs.
Any place you say, Jonny.
Remind me to be with you the next time you pick out a hat.
Why, don't you like this one? - No. There is too much of it.
Hair like that should be seen not buried.
Come here.
Why?
You need a reason?
It would help.
It's just a step over there but ..
It's a long step.
Where is that confidence you were talking about?
Alright. I'll give you a reason.
Because it is what you want to do.
It is a long step, Jonny.
Isn't there another reason too?
Alright, alright. Take your pound of flesh.
It's what I want you to do too.
I don't suppose you'll ever tell a girl a thing she needs to hear.
There is too much of this coat too.
There is a lot more of you that shouldn't be buried.
I haven't much time, Jonny.
Have you a stop-watch on you?
I'm supposed to catch a plane at three.
For where, Hoboken?
Stafford has ordered me to Indochina.
Stafford is a mental case.
Indochina, huh?
That's a long way off.
You don't want me to go, do you Jonny?
Well, I do and I don't.
I will take the "do" reasons first.
You are a fire hazard to some plans that I've got.
A woman doesn't always tie a man down.
Now, why don't you want me to go?
It would be nice to have a row.
Even you can do better than that.
Surely that isn't all you have to say.
No.
I got something else to say, honey.
Goodbye. A pleasant trip.
Goodbye?
That Indochina job is a big opportunity.
I can't ask you to pass it up.
But Jonny, you just said I'd be nice to have around.
For a couple of weeks.
So that's how it is.
For a couple of weeks? - That's how it is.
I can say it in six languages but why make it tough for you to understand?
In what language was that kiss?
The universal language, baby.
And don't tell me you need an interpreter.
Did I interrupt anything?
Unfortunately, not a thing.
Will you join me, Dorloff?
But the lady? The champagne was for the lady.
It wasn't needed.
The lady is just leaving.
To the Far East, isn't it?
This I do not understand.
Once, she leaves. Once, you throw her out.
And obviously you desire to be together.
"Desire" is the word.
Here is something to paste in your hat my friend.
You can't have your angel cake and send her to Indochina too.
Where to, Miss? - China.
Hello Jonny.
Where have you been the last month?
Among the unemployed.
I've also been to Grant's tomb.
The Bronx Zoo and the Aquarium. Twice.
You'd be surprised how many fish they got there.
Most of them look like Papa.
Oh, go on in and kiss and make up.
I'm glad to see the two of you back.
Two of us?
Sure. Your brother is in there now.
Say, what is wrong between you and Kirk?
When I told him you'd be here he acted the same way.
Like something bit him.
Where, honey?
Hello Junior.
Oh, you look fine. Like a collapsed dachshund.
Hello Jonny.
Davis, I've told all this to Kirk. I'll be brief. He'll give you details later.
As you know The Chronicle sent Paula Lane to Indochina.
A master-stroke.
She is missing. Disappeared completely.
We've tried every way we know to find her.
Did you get in touch with Floyd Kirsten in Hanoi?
Kirsten? That has-been.
He couldn't find his bottle if it was in his hand.
Okay, I just asked.
Now, I'm worried about Paula.
There just might be a little trouble with Japan.
Honest?
You'd better rush that tip over to the State Department.
The long and short of it is.
I want you two boys to go to Hanoi and find Paula Lane.
It wouldn't be that you want some decent coverage for The Chronicle, would it?
Let me handle this alone, Chief.
Sorry, boy.
In fairness to The Chronicle I can't.
You couldn't pull it off alone.
With Jonny you might.
He's the kind who gets things done, no matter who he has to walk on.
Yeah.
You are right about that.
Well, when do you start for Hanoi?
You're sure I'm starting, huh?
That's right, Davis.
I know the spot you're in because I put you there.
You are broke.
No other paper will touch you with a ten-foot pole.
I've got you tied up for two years.
And you'd rather be dead than out of the business.
So.
When do you start for Hanoi?
How's your feet, Chief?
Bad.
I mean your paper's feet.
Cold, as usual?
You send in your dispatches.
I'll print them the way I see them.
I thought so. Very cold.
You know what cold feet causes on a newspaper, Chief?
Poor circulation.
Or is it the other way around?
You are not going to bring up my editorial policy again, are you?
You don't expect me to keep it on my stomach, do you?
Alright, Davis.
We don't like each other.
But we work together. Huh?
Sure.
Necessity is the mother of strange bedfellows.
Eh, Junior?
Do I put you on the payroll?
Yeah.
As of when you took us off.
It's a deal. How about you, Kirk?
I'm set.
Oh sure. Everybody is set.
Don't you worry, Chief. I'll find a way to get the news printed.
How? Taking along a hand-press?
You'll learn you can't toss me around like a badminton ball, Davis.
They don't play badminton with a ball, Chief.
They use what is known as a bird.
You ought to know what that is. You get it enough.
More Japanese beetles round here than you'd see in a California lettuce patch.
Did we come here worry about Indochina or find Paula?
I don't know about you. I'm here to gather news buds while I may.
Yes, sir. Than you would find in a California lettuce patch.
What kind of a guy are you anyway?
Paula is a fellow newspaperman if nothing else.
For my dough she is nothing else too.
Are you through trying all the places that wouldn't know where she is?
Yeah. - Okay.
Hey, cab.
Now I'll take you to a place that might.
You see Junior, in every town there is one guy who knows who's where and why.
I suppose you mean Floyd Kirsten? - That's right.
Stafford told us about him. He's all washed up and a lush too.
Maybe, but Kirsten knows more drunk that Papa does sober.
Nothing like a little protective occupation.
Identification.
Passports please.
Excuse.
Go ahead.
So sorry.
So sorry?
The only thing they're sorry about is that they can't pull those triggers.
Yet.
Come on, buster. Get going before they ask to see our birthmarks.
Thank you.
I hope you're not wasting our time. - I'm not wasting my time.
I'll say one thing for Paula. She sure made this disappearance act look good.
You think she's pulling a fast one, eh? - I think she's a smart dame.
Pretends to get herself in a jam so that some sap will come tearing after her.
That's you. - So why help me find her?
Simple.
Sooner you see she's a phony, the sooner you take other kinds of nourishment.
Yes?
We'd like to see Floyd Kirsten.
We are old friends. - Friends?
You are the first of your race to come for a long time.
You are welcome.
Thank you.
Please.
Get set, Junior.
You are about to see a legend in the flesh.
A real old-timer. From the school of Richard Harding Davis.
Hello Floyd.
Jonny Davis, Floyd.
Originator of the Hong Kong hay ride. Remember?
Jonny Davis?
Well, I must say.
So must I.
This is my brother, Kirk.
I'm glad to know you, son.
It's a privilege to know you, Mr Kirsten.
I've read your stuff.
Not lately, I'm afraid.
Well, it's been a long time between by-lines, Jonny.
My paper has about given up on me I guess.
Won't you sit down, gentlemen? - Thank you.
Forgive me, Thomas.
This is Thomas Chang.
He has been very kind to me.
He has cared for me here in his house.
My house is yours.
Excuse me.
You see Jonny, I've kinda lost touch with things.
I don't write anymore.
I can see stories but I can't write them.
Maybe I'm finished.
I sort of get buck fever when I see a typewriter.
Buck fever, my eye.
What are you talking about? You look great, Floyd.
Thanks, you liar.
Mr Kirsten, can you help us? We're trying to find Paula Lane.
She was sent over here by The Chronicle and ..
And we thought since you know everybody in Hanoi that ..
The Japs have taken over here completely.
They've invaded Thailand.
Thailand can't resist. Not for long.
You can't tight tanks with bows and ..
Arrows.
Can you?
Can I help?
Ming.
These attacks are common. - Will he be alright?
We know how to care for him.
Take Mr Kirsten to his room.
Call his doctor. - Yes, Mr Chang.
Looks like you're the one that drew a blank this time.
Perhaps if you came back later?
This way, gentlemen. - No, Mr Chang.
This way.
You know, Junior. I think Mr Chang has something to talk about.
Now for instance, the Japanese beetles.
Do you or do you not believe in pest control, Mr Chang?
Take either side.
Which side do you take, Mr Davis?
I'm for it. I don't like vermin of any kind.
Now.
How about Paula Lane?
Why do you want to find her? - We think she's in a jam.
We're friends of hers. If that is why you're stalling.
If you know Mr Kirsten.
That is probably true.
Come on. Where is she?
She has been helping Mr Kirsten.
She is now at the frontier, about 200 miles from here.
The frontier? It's trouble, Jonny.
It is. And it is very unwise for me to talk about it.
It's still more unwise not to.
If we start crashing up and down the frontier we'll make a lot of noise.
You do believe we're on your side, don't you Mr Chang?
Yes, I do.
Otherwise I would send you away.
Then why the mystery?
If we find her you will see.
If we do not find her.
Then it will do her no good for you to know.
So there will be two less people who can speak in the wrong place about our plan.
No, Mr Chang.
Three less people.
It is three miles to the river.
On the other side is China.
We are in luck. They are going away from the river.
What about that patrol?
They won't be back this way for half an hour.
What the wigwag?
I can tell you now.
They're bringing Chinese children out of the war zone into French territory.
There is the boat.
It looks like they are expected.
I will go first and tell them you are friends.
Isn't it just as dangerous for the kids over here with all those Japs around?
Once they are smuggled in they'll have a chance.
At least he won't have to duck bombs.
Come on.
Shush, children. Quiet. You must be very quiet.
That's Paula alright.
Paula.
Gee, it's good to see you.
Are you alright, honey? - Yeah.
Oh, you've brought your big brother too, huh?
Here, let me take buggins.
Well, did Stafford send you over here for silk worms?
What are you trying to do, get your name in the paper?
Here, here. Let me do that.
Stick around and I'll give you an interview.
A nice way to get shot. Smuggling Chinese kids across the border.
What is a border? Just an imaginary line.
Let us take over, honey.
Here. Take this.
Is this the last load?
Yeah. Yeah we got them all.
You mislaid a couple.
All set. Where do they go? - A little mission down the river.
Miow will guide them. She's guided many such groups. There's less risk that way.
Miow.
What did you expect to do with the cannon?
I expect it to shoot anybody that tries to stop me.
You act like these are your kids.
I think when children are in trouble they become everybody's kids.
You could be right, babe.
Alright, let's go.
The "sooner I find out she's a phony", huh?
Are you sure she will be okay?
Of course. Very fatigued. Strain.
But she just lies there. Doesn't even move.
I give her a sleeping powder.
It won't wear off for some time.
But there is nothing to worry about.
Who's worried?
I gather ..
You are.
Mister Davis.
Look, look, look. You've got your thumb in her eye.
This isn't man's work anyway.
Here .. start that story about Thailand falling ..
And the Japs will be there before you get it written.
Hey, Ming.
Front and center.
How is Kirsten? - Resting.
That's fine. Look, take over here honey, will you.
Give the lady a good wash and polish job.
A pretty girl. For a white woman.
She looks like a piece of cheese the rats have been at.
How you coming with the literature?
The story writes itself. I'm just feeding it paper.
A good diet.
Only if it writes itself ..
You'd better tell it to write to spell "perfidy" with an "e" and not a "u".
Thanks.
Still great at spelling out the words for me aren't you.
Ming, Ming. Gently does it.
The kid looks like she might break easy.
When you get that epic finished, you can tack Floyd Kirsten's name onto it.
You figure it belongs to him?
No. I figure it belongs to anybody who can read.
No, no. Here, here.
Let me do it. You're not getting her ears clean. Get the bed ready.
I always like women with their forehead showing.
Mine never had any to show about the eyebrows.
Kirsten's name on this, huh?
Yeah.
That's what I said.
Kirsten's name.
Send it to his office.
Not to our office, his office.
I thought you were vaccinated against nobility.
Would you recognise a needle when you see it?
I might, if I got the point.
Stafford will get the point.
Right in his editorial policy.
I told him I'd get the news printed. - Yeah.
Kirsten gets a by-line and Stafford gets crossed.
A beautiful double play.
Triple play.
The public gets the truth.
Not a bad guy, Kirsten.
He was a good reporter once.
Which is more than I can say for you, towhead.
Some people might want to vote her a medal.
What for?
Running out on her job?
Playing dry nurse to a bunch of wet smacks.
It took a stiff-backed bone at that to walk up and spit in the Mikado's eye.
Bed ready now.
Yep. Alright.
Okay, honey. I'll call you when I need you.
A pretty girl, for a white woman.
Yeah. You are pretty in any language.
"Pretty" isn't the word for it.
What kind of cheese?
I was wrong about you being the cheese. You're the rat.
You put one over on me about your hair too.
How?
You said it used to be red.
Well, how do you know it wasn't?
You've been away from peroxide for weeks.
No dark roots.
So a girl couldn't fool you, huh?
Not more than once.
But that once was a good once.
I heard every word you said out there.
Why didn't you open your eyes?
Because it sounded better when I couldn't see you.
Making love always sounds better in the dark.
Is that what I was doing?
Sure.
Didn't you know it?
No lying, no fancy language.
I don't use fancy language when I'm balling somebody out.
Or when you're spilling water down a girl's neck.
Oh, you big, clumsy cluck.
Now I know why you came to Indochina.
You had me worried.
Well, let me in on the secret. I won't tell a soul.
You wouldn't know a soul if it wore a halo.
I'll tell you why I came.
To count the 400 million Chinese.
Well, I suppose it was to find you.
Hey listen, I came here to write news, not make it.
Stop squirming, Jonny. It's no use.
You're stuck with me just as much as I'm stuck with you.
How much is that?
Well how far is up?
It's the works, Jonny.
You know something?
My nose itches.
Didn't that mean something when I was a kid?
Hmm .. it still does.
When your nose itches, it means you're going to kiss a fool.
Want to read this? Or do you trust me?
Get your face organised, honey.
Why don't you say something?
Well, maybe I shouldn't kick.
We found her.
I'd still rather have her safe than ..
Just have her.
What am I supposed to do now? Hang around and catch her on the bounce?
Sure.
The higher she bounces the easier she is to catch, huh?
You tell me, Jonny. You're the expert.
You always bounce them high, don't you.
You know that little bar on 51st Street?
The one with the saloon on one side and the beer parlor on the other?
Yeah, I know the place. - Good.
Meet me there sometime.
I don't get you.
Yeah, sure you do.
You had me right all along.
This is the bounce, Junior. The high bounce.
What about Paula?
You were just kissing her goodbye in there I suppose?
I always kiss goodbye. It's polite.
Not the way you did it.
Now I get it.
You finished the job you started out to do, didn't you.
What job is that?
You fix it so I never have a chance with her.
Old "follow-through" Davis.
Goodbye, Junior.
Wait a minute.
I got to kiss you goodbye.
And you forgot something else, Junior. You forgot to say thanks.
For what?
The knife between my first and second ribs?
For the information I'm about to give you.
You and that babe in there belong together.
Like mush and milk.
Yes, sir. She is the milk.
One hundred percent pure. Suitable for young and old.
You are the mush, Junior.
Jonny.
It's no use, Jonny. It won't work.
If I needed any proof I got it when I walked into that room.
What?
Oh, that. Say, listen, kid.
People kiss the Blarney Stone every day but they don't remember it for long.
She'll remember you.
Until the next guy kisses her.
The right guy.
If you're smart, that will be you.
Listen kid, you've got just what that babe is looking for.
The "forever" set up.
I know. If I'm wrong I've wasted years of research.
You're leaving, Mr Davis? - Yes, Chang.
Thanks for the use of the hall. - What?
Never mind.
A gentleman is waiting for you.
He is no gentleman, but I'm glad he's waiting.
Well, how do I look?
Pretty .. for a white woman.
You now it is awful to want to knock a man right on his ear and ..
Not have all the weapons to do it with.
He's gone.
Well .. is she coming back?
He said not.
Well, how do you like that.
How do you like it?
And I threw myself at him again.
Once more, he wasn't there to catch me.
Wouldn't you think I'd get used to my bruises?
Now don't, honey.
He's a funny guy. - Funny?
Sure, he's funny.
He kills people. Kills them dead.
Only he is sweet too.
No more harm in him than a cobra.
Look.
All that moisture will wrinkle your suit.
You know.
A little while ago I was so excited that I didn't have any mascara.
It's a good think I didn't, because I would be an awful mess now.
Here.
I don't believe it.
I just don't believe that you can belong to the same family as that ..
That ..
Yes, sir?
Champagne in a beer glass and lace it with Irish whiskey please.
Yes, sir.
I'm really intrigued.
What do you call that dreadful mixture?
The scientists tell me it's called an Irish Male.
Spelled M-A-L-E I presume?
It should be if it isn't.
It sounds rather potent.
No, not at all.
Light as a breath of spring.
Two quick ones and you can hear the banshees wail.
Do you start drinking at noon every day? - Of course not.
I start earlier on Saturdays. - Why?
I'm thirstier on Saturdays.
Odd. I'm always thirstier on Sundays.
What day is this? - Sunday, sir.
What'll you have?
I'd like to try one of those ..
Irish Males.
The lady will have an Irish Male.
Spelled M-A-I-L.
You're wasting your time, honey. I'm down to my last twenty bucks.
Well In my country we have an old saying.
Money isn't everything.
Your country?
When I'm home my address is Park Avenue.
10-1 it was Brooklyn first.
I haven't got it tattooed on my any place have I?
Not in any place that shows. - Then how did you peg me?
I'm a linguist.
If that means near-sighted I'd go along with you.
You know, I've seen you around here for a week.
But I'm darned if you've seen me.
I'm beginning to wonder why.
Simple. You never looked.
I'm looking now.
Like what you see?
Sure.
You're as pretty as a picture in a fifty-cent magazine.
Then why the chill? I don't get it.
I don't either.
My other reflexes seem okay.
Look, if being broke is slowing you down, I know where you can get a job.
Let me tell you something, babe.
For the first time in my life I don't want to work either.
It must be the climate. Enervating.
Climate, my eye.
If you ask me, you carry a torch so big they could use you for a lighthouse.
That's my nose you're looking at.
Listen, when a man like you goes on a four-star bender and then can't unbend.
The reason usually wears a skirt.
Oh sure.
Probably some right little tight little bluenose.
What do you say we get out of here?
Why not?
I'll take a whack at blowing out that torch.
How did you like Manila? - I'll let you know late.
In here, Miss.
But that is Mr Davis's room.
What a coincidence. I knew a Mr Davis once.
Isn't this charming?
Now we can have some honeymoon bridge.
Oh?
Isn't the honeymoon over yet?
How long has he been in never-never land?
Ever since he hit that bed.
I got all dressed up to watch him sleep.
Well, he looks intact.
He is.
My name is Paula Lane.
I'm glad to know you.
Right back at you, sister. I'm Crystal McRegan.
And I ought to have my head examined.
I've wasted the best 8 hours of my life.
Getting him into this helpless condition.
He's useless to man or beast.
I knew him once, so maybe I can work out something.
Funny.
You don't look the way I figured you at all.
You're no bluenose.
Well, so long.
I know when I'm outpointed.
But before I go just for the fun of it.
Let's see how it would have been if we'd cut for him.
Okay, high card gets the pot.
A rum pot.
No, not rum.
Champagne and Irish whiskey.
A sweet light drink without authority.
He said.
Go ahead.
The Jack.
The King.
Well, I feel better.
Now that it's legal.
And say, if it's any comfort to you.
I didn't get anywhere with him.
Struck out with the bases loaded.
I told you I needed some sleep.
Did you call for room service?
You must be something that came to me in a dream.
I am particular for what kind of dreams I find myself in.
Where is Kirk?
He's coming on the next plane.
How about measuring you for a nice, big, sizzling seltzer pick-me-up?
No, no. I couldn't stand the noise.
Then we'll do the next best thing. Take off your clothes.
And get under the shower.
I would rather go on with that dream.
And I'd rather you wouldn't.
Now, how about that shower?
Or are you afraid of getting wet?
How are you and Kirk hitting it off?
On all twelve cylinders.
Now go and get yourself all dry and then you can take me out ..
And get all wet again.
Take who out?
Take me out.
I'm sorry. I'm flat broke.
Oh, no you're not. I've got that salary you forgot to pick up in Hanoi.
Put it on the mantelpiece.
You do ..
Want to take me out?
Don't you?
Oh sure. Sure.
How did you track me down anyway?
Stafford's bloodhounds found you.
He cabled Kirk he wasn't sore about that Kirsten story.
That's nice of him.
Isn't it.
He asked Kirk to get you back on the job.
He said to leave no stone unturned.
You can tell Papa you did fine with all stones until you met Gibraltar.
That's me.
That's not why I'm here in Manila, Jonny.
I don't care whether you go back to work of not.
Honey, what are you trying to do, work your way through college?
Kind of.
I just want to get you back on your feet for the last round.
I want you in there, punching.
At what?
I don't like set-ups.
Don't you remember? We've got a celebration coming to us.
One we've postponed a couple of times.
I'm glad to hear you and Kirk are doing alright.
Uhuh.
Yeah, that's fine.
What recipe did he use?
Not fair asking a cake how it's made.
Some cakes should be thoroughly beaten.
I am so glad. - For what?
We stopped.
It is time to go back to the hotel isn't it?
What hotel? - Your hotel.
I took a room right next to you.
Nice of me, huh?
No. Optimistic.
Goodnight.
Yes?
I'm afraid you are the one who is being optimistic.
Why don't you try some oil, Jonny?
Isn't that your speciality?
What's yours?
I know a good way to find out.
We must be thinking of the same one.
I wonder.
What I had in mind was you crawling.
Around the edge of the balcony.
Well, I was thinking of something a little less athletic.
But just as daring.
Of course, if you are afraid of falling ..
Don't worry.
I always land on my feet.
The first time I've had my hands on bamboo since I gave up Mah-jong.
Really? What make it swell?
I got splinters under my fingernails.
You should wear gloves when you play games.
I do.
And I know when to take them off. And that's right now.
What goes with you and Kirk?
Same as ever.
He's the type of man that signs a love letter "respectfully yours".
I didn't know he wrote them. - He talks them.
He talks too much.
He doesn't even know how to kiss.
I suppose he is learning now?
Well. He practices enough.
Let me show you what happens.
You point at your mouth.
And then you aim at your ears.
Of course, it is kind of nice in a way.
Something like a puppy.
How would you want him to kiss you?
Like this.
Or this.
So the kid kisses like a puppy, huh?
Just be patient with him. He'll be a full-grown dog.
It runs in the family.
I thought you would.
I thought I could make you cross your own brother.
He's worth ten of you, a hundred of you.
How many? - Two hundred.
You certainly look very funny standing there.
Oh, funny huh?
Very funny.
But I can laugh ..
Because now I'm the one who can turn around and walk away and not look back.
So long, Mr Davis.
Now I don't owe you a thing.
Paula.
No lights.
I don't trust you even with them on, Jonny Davis.
Wrong Davis.
Kirk. - Yeah.
And I said no lights.
I'm giving you a break.
You probably got cold cream smeared over your puss anyway.
I don't get this at all.
Sorry to barge in. They let me in Jonny's room. He wasn't in ..
You expect to find him here? - Take it easy.
Hear that?
Sure. That's just the army. They always fly around.
Yeah. Only this time it is the wrong army.
Those plans have got the Rising Sun painted all over their wings.
Read it and weep.
I was at The Chronicle office downtown when this came in.
Japan just bombed Pearl Harbor.
[ Air-raid siren ]
Any more dope on Hawaii? - None so far.
All I know is ..
Some of those little dickie-birds flew in at breakfast time and laid some eggs.
Manila can expect some of the same any minute.
Have you cabled The Chronicle? - No. Censorship slapped on it.
I don't know how long it is going to last.
I guess I won't have to alibi to Stafford now for not finding Jonny.
I found him. But not for long.
Know where he went? - No.
At the moment, I didn't care as long as it was away.
You're a bad liar, honey.
You're still stuck on him as much as ever.
More.
But I hate the sight of him too.
And Jonny?
How about him?
Oh, I don't know. Does anybody ever really know about Jonny?
I'm for you and you're for Jonny and he's for himself.
A nice design for going crazy.
Yeah, the mystic maze.
Six ways in and no way out.
[ Door knocks ]
Come in out of the night air, Junior. It's bad for you.
Hello, Jonny. - Give me a hand with this, will you.
You got the wrong room, Mr Davis.
How was Hanoi?
Fine. How are you?
Up to my neck in a war.
Where's your bags? - In your room.
What are you doing? - Packed? - Yes.
Good, Leave them that way. You go to Australia with towhead here.
The boat leaves in an hour.
Listen, if I go to Australia ..
It will be because I can't stay away from kangaroos another minute.
Right now, I can take them or leave them.
You'll take them. Here is what you'll wear on the boat.
I'm up to my neck in the war too. I'm not running out on it.
You're not running out. The Chronicle is pushing you.
Here's Stafford's cable. - Who'll cover Manila?
I'll cover it like a dirty shirt. - It took a war to get you back to work?
This beanie goes with that dress.
I wouldn't wear these together if I were going anywhere.
Which I am not.
This will go with anything.
Before we don't leave I'd like to tell you something about Paula.
I've heard it. Words and music.
I need to pack her, if I do say so myself.
Listen Jonny Davis, you're not going to get me out of Manila.
Not me, it's The Chronicle. Orders, get it? Orders.
That goes for you too, Junior. - I quit.
Nobody quits. Get your bags.
Okay, I'll get them.
You get dressed or I'll dress you in the taxi.
Say, who does he think he is? - He reminds me a little of Jonny Davis.
Pushing us around. Are you going to let him get away with it?
I'm going to let him think he is.
Never argue with Jonny.
Just listen to him while he plays Mister Big.
And even let him believe that you agree with him.
And.
Figure it out for yourself.
I think you got something there, Junior.
Well, how do you think I'll look in a Red Cross uniform?
They guys aren't going to mind getting shot to find out.
One of them might be me.
I'm going to join the army.
I hope Manila is still there when we get back.
We'll be standing on that wharf in half an hour.
I hope the trip back in the Pilot Boat won't be too rough on you.
Not nearly as rough as fighting it out with Jonny.
Well.
Here you are. Sun Valley.
Thanks Slim. I'll send right home and get my skis.
Don't forget to strain the tadpoles out of that water before you drink it.
Me drink water?
That stuff ain't even fit to wash my feet in.
Snap into it, Bill.
Looks like a direct hit.
Yeah, Right on the ridge.
Must have aimed at the cross.
Field Hospital Number 3, huh?
It was.
How many got out? - None.
Tie that wire off over there.
A nice little human interest story for the folks back home.
Make sure they get it. What paper you with?
New York Chronicle.
I've heard of it. This is that war it said we couldn't have.
Oh well, things are different now.
Pearl Harbor jumped Stafford and The Chronicle right on the bandwagon.
Of course I don't know what will happen when the wagon hits the first bumps.
All set, sir.
Then get going, boys. Good luck.
Got it right here, sir.
Let's go.
Where to?
They'll tell you when they get back. - From where?
Hey.
How about riding with you fellahs? - No riders.
Don't tell me you want us to carry you too?
Why, on the contrary. Here, allow me.
You bet. You bet we'll allow you.
That's dynamite. Don't stub your toe.
What makes you think I didn't stub it already?
The army sure travels on its stomach.
Good work, Porto. - Thank you, sir.
Give him a hand, boys.
Not a minute too soon.
My name is Davis, Lieutenant. Correspondent.
I hitch-hiked a ride with the boys. - Oh.
Quite a landing party.
A correspondent, eh?
That's fine.
We can duck your words. Can you duck our bullets?
I can try.
Davis, huh?
Ain't one Davis around here enough?
Dish out the dynamite, Freddy. Get the men busy on the cookies.
Yeah, we sure want the right refreshments for our party.
We don't want the boys to go hungry.
You're a dead ringer for my brother.
Only he is in Australia.
How do you know?
I put him on a boat.
You should have stuck around. He got off.
Anybody else get off with him?
Yeah. An unidentified blond.
Where is she? - Back there.
Back where?
A place called Sun Valley.
Oh yeah. I know. I was there.
What is she doing?
Probably holding some lucky stiff's hand.
She joined the Red Cross.
Field Hospital Number 3?
That's right. Field Hospital Number 3. How come you didn't see her?
I don't know.
I guess I ..
Just missed her.
You missed me a couple of times too.
The "forever" set-up. That will get her. That's what you said.
Why hold that against me?
I handed you a golden blond on a silver platter.
Don't you know you can't give people to each other?
You can't move them around like checkers.
I never got within ten yards of her.
Alright. Let's park it.
Some things you can't park.
Take Paula, for instance.
The thing for you to do is to take what you can while you can.
Alright. I said let's park it.
For the duration.
Alright, come on, come on. Help yourselves. Keep them going.
Keep making them.
Alright, make with the cookies.
You too, golden words.
Ever see these things before?
Yes, sure. Casey's cookies.
I gave them a column last week.
Two parts hollow bamboo.
One part dynamite.
Garnished with a percussion cap.
Drop among buttered Japs and it mixes them thoroughly.
The dirty little sons of .. heaven.
Alright, men.
We can take our pick, boys.
We can shoot the enemy out of the water before he lands.
Or let him land, try to wipe him out and capture that beautiful equipment he has.
Let him land.
Sure. I hear they carry chocolate bars.
It is hardly necessary to add.
We are outnumbered. - Ain't we always?
It is getting positively boring.
We'll make them yell uncle.
Here is the way I see it. I want two men, carrying cookies.
To climb down the cliff and blast the Japs as they concentrate on the beach.
They'll make for that canyon down there.
It is the only way to get to or from the beach.
They'll make for it.
But they won't get there.
Because the rest of us will be at the mouth of the canyon waiting for them.
Who has to toss the cookies?
Not you Purdy. I've seen you pitch.
You Porto for one.
Yes, sir.
How about me, Lieutenant?
I used to throw a javelin for Brooklyn High.
Alright. You, Davis.
Yes, sir.
The rest of you will follow me to the canyon.
With the exception of the visiting fireman.
And you Purdy, who will stay in the foxhole.
Why me? Ain't this a democracy?
It is.
You and your machine gun are going to shield the 2 democrats with the cookies.
Well, Mama and me will be in there spitting.
Fix bayonets.
Porto. Davis.
Wait five minutes and then start.
7:53?
Right.
Just in case you boys need something to get you in the mood.
Sam brought some news back.
The Nippos bombed Field Hospital Number 3 last night.
All hands lost.
Come on, democrats.
And don't forget to spell our names right.
Follow me.
Did you know about Number 3, Jonny?
Sure. I heard it.
I let her get off that boat.
I even put the idea in her head.
My fault.
Why didn't you tell me, Jonny?
I don't put anything in the paper until I hear it twice and see it three times.
Here we go, pal.
Alright, Sam.
You didn't tell me because you wanted to give me break.
I just don't believe it. That's all.
I can take it, Jonny. Just like anybody else.
I guess people can take a lot when they have to.
You said something once.
It makes a lot of sense to me now.
You said history wouldn't let a man stay in bed with his hat on.
You were right.
See you later, Senior.
Don't let Mr Moto think too fast out there, kid.
Those kids are sure getting dry behind the ears.
It must be this tropical sun. - Yeah.
You'll get a better look from down there, golden words.
Take good care of Mama. - Uhuh.
There goes the first cookie.
The last thing they said to me was don't forget to spell the names right.
I got them straight and I want you to get them straight too.
Because here is some of the things they did.
Take Sam Porto.
Sam was a dentist from Manila.
Painless to everybody but the Japs.
He was a little guy with a great big grin and a heart to match.
A party of Nippos were taking cover in a cave 100 feet below him on the beach.
The only way Sam could get at them was to blow the ground from under himself.
He must have known as he threw that last dynamite stick that he was going to die.
But he threw it all the same.
That was Sam Porto and don't forget the name.
Take Kirk Davis, ex-war correspondent.
He was halfway down a cliff stood on a ledge not wide enough for his number 9s.
He made a target that would gladden the heart of a Jap gunner ..
But he was in a position to do plenty of damage if they didn't see him first.
The Japs were setting up house in another cave ..
Where they could rake the beach with machine gun fire.
Lieutenant Halls led his men out of the canyon.
Don't forget the name.
Lieutenant Wade Halls West Point 1937.
By now the Japs had got the ticker going and a Filipino scout, Manuel Ortega ..
Don't forget that name, copped a full burst.
Soldier Davis couldn't reach that gun.
But he could reach that big rock balanced above it.
He did Brooklyn High proud with that throw.
As a javelin thrower he stepped right into the limelight.
But the limelight doesn't pay off when the other guy has got a gun.
A Jap plane came out of nowhere.
And turned soldier Davis into a gold star on his High School service flag.
That was Kirk Davis. Don't forget the name.
Don't forget Sergeant Tom Purdy who used to bend a gas hose in Butte Montana.
That same Jap plane dived on the foxhole and shot the legs out from under Mama.
"Mama" was what he called his machine gun.
I almost feel the Montana democrat would rather have stopped the bullets himself.
He was as sore as a boiled owl.
Lieutenant Halls was coming on again but so was the Jap plane.
Halls got one through the leg and he hit the sand face down.
Sergeant Purdy picked up his busted Mama and mounted it against his own body.
Kicking like forty mules straight away.
That Jap flyer went hunting his ancestors in the Bataan jungle.
But there wasn't much left of Sergeant Purdy.
He only lived long enough to know that he and Mama had done their job.
Sergeant Tom Purdy. Don't forget the name.
Halls still had one good leg and a dozen hard guys alongside him.
He couldn't walk. He could hop.
But he couldn't talk. He could point.
Thanks to Porto and Davis the Japs were out in the open.
Thanks to Tom Purdy, all they had to worry about now was being outnumbered.
Those hard guys charged and that little scuffle was over.
Not so fast, Mr Davis. - I'm sorry, kid.
The little scuffle was over and it was won.
And it wasn't just a win. It proved something bigger.
I'll catch up with you later, Lieutenant.
Brown men and white men fought and died together.
When they bled, their blood was the same color.
And don't forget the names.
Lieutenant Wade Halls, Sergeant Tom Purdy.
Privates Manuel Ortega, Sam Porto and Kirk Davis.
They lost their lives.
No that's wrong. They didn't lose them, they gave them up.
And I ask you not to forget the names.
Jonny.
I heard you just now, Jonny.
Kirk?
Stop snivelling, towhead. You don't cry for heroes.
Say, where do you keep your rabbit's foot?
I heard everybody in Hospital Number 3 got it.
On one of the breaks.
I was coming back with some ..
Food and clothes and ..
Is this all, Mr Davis? Shall I mark it ready?
No. More to come. But you'd better get moving with what you've got.
The radio can't last much longer. - Yes, sir.
Put in a fresh sheet, honey. We'll write it together.
We won that little fight with the cookies.
Now, we won't be winning any more that you hear about on the Bataan peninsula.
The big push is on.
They're throwing the book at us. 0rders have come to evacuate.
Tomorrow morning the headlines will read:
"BATAAN FALLS!"
The headlines will be wrong though.
Because Bataan has not fallen. It has stood for 94 days and it still stands.
The best delaying action of the war was fought in an area the size of a county.
300,000 Japanese were tied in knots long enough.
For the USA to get its Sunday clothes off and go to work.
Hold it, Jonny.
Okay.
If a handful of Americans and Filipinos can do all that.
Living off rice and mule-meat, fighting with bricks, bats and bolas.
Then Bataan still stands.
The battle of Bataan was lost. By Japan.
In case the Japanese don't realize that ..
I've a message for them from the men dead and living, of Bataan.
More to come.
That is a newspaper term and it means the story isn't finished.
And the punch line has not been written yet.
Remember that, Tokyo.
More to come.
(Ro-S)