I have priests I actually I do like any
like I was like asexual I think it's
called because I don't I was gonna talk
to anyone
yeah long story Aires but then I smell
it with this girl she's actually really
awkward anyways
which one is she okay I'll have her go
there oh my god can you tell me about
your first love
oh my god okay
well my first love
was a girl she still is my first love do
you know when you see the Sun in the
morning and you don't see any clouds and
you know it's gonna be a good day that's
how I feel okay you know that expression
it's like you make me feel as you like
you know you're early
yeah like that she's so good it was like
a warm place to come home to and you
just know like you just just feel safe
and and I was just talking about it with
this guy cuz he's got that right now I'm
like that he just gonna go home tonight
you're gonna cook dinner and and I just
love that you know I mean I just loved
like this just like home you know what
I'm saying like we were together for
like four years and then she met a guy
at a party that we were all at and like
cheated on me for a couple months and
then married the guy a year later which
was pretty brutal
the feeling is you don't know whether to
be miserable or happy because suddenly
you feel a strong attraction or urge you
just want to be near somebody but you
can't tell why and when you're very
young as much as you you have no idea
how deep you can feel that's just the
very that's like looking at the surface
of something later on it gets a lot
deeper but that was the first you move
on my first love was named dejay me and
it was in third grade and she claimed to
be an Indonesian princess and she
introduced me to seaweed for the first
time and I've been eatin seaweed ever
since I know that was my first love
because the feeling that I get now with
love is like that feeling but less
intense like that was the most the most
unbridled like love I have ever felt it
was that first one when I was
eight years old change schools in fourth
grade and I mourned her for like the
whole year I would wait for her to come
every morning to class and she never did
yeah for sure he didn't feel the same
way he just he would tell me he wasn't
sure what he wanted and it sucks it it
broke my heart a lot but carrying a
buddy I'm loving him like I want him I
want him to find happiness as well and I
want him to do what's best so I perfect
I think that's what love is like no
matter what situation you're in I'm
sorry I'm getting teary if you love a
person you'll do anything for them and
if it's meant to be it comes back and if
it doesn't like then you'll find love it
one day I met him at this house party
and like immediately like I knew like I
saw him and I was just like okay I'm
gonna go after this guy and it's cuz I'm
a really shy person and so yeah and so I
never like make the first move or
anything but I was like I went up to him
and I was like do I know you from
somewhere we hit it off we like started
like hanging out like every day I was in
love like automatically like it was like
a love and first sight type of deal and
I don't know he he was not good for me
he was
manipulative and like narcissistic and
very toxic but I was blind because like
you know as in love and stuff he ended
up cheating on me and once I found out I
was gonna break up with him like I'm not
gonna put up with that right but she was
like no like don't leave so he decided
to propose to me because he thought like
Oh like if like like this is like how
I'm gonna prove it to her you know I was
just all dumb and I was like sure like
yes like so I was engaged for a little
bit which is really weird like I'm
really young like uh like why was I
thinking like to do that but I loved him
but he didn't love me as much as he said
he did which is okay it sucked it really
hurt it took a couple months to recover
I'm finally healing I'm doing good yeah
that's that guy it's a game I like
didn't want to admit it to myself but
you know it was happening it was like
freshman year of high school and
they were the coolest first night in
from that I don't know like a magnet was
pulling me like I had no choice in the
matter and it was just kind of crashing
into me and happening and I couldn't
really do anything about it
but in like a good way and I waited too
long I you know it's just kind of passed
me by I'll always remember you know like
should have should have taken that leap
should have made that chance
well I don't know I feels kind of cringe
II now looking back I'm a bitter you
know I mean I don't think that a good
thing hover at the time at the time we
were actually best friends for one or
two years like just best friends we do
everything together
and then he was like in love with me for
a while before I was ever in love with
him for sure but I like I remember even
though I was so little like you think
you could not love somebody when you're
that young but I really do think that
was my first love when you just feel
that like that feeling of peace you know
it's like really peaceful and it's like
you know plastic speaker compañeras
to see that case in this bus you know
it's okay if I'm like bilingual but he
would write me all these notes during
class like everything he was doing and I
have all like still I have this box of
all the notes he ever gave me and stuff
like that and it's not infatuation it's
love I know like I always so okay this
is high just this high I make sense of
it hey there come a I'm telling my story
okay I moved from my border sector which
is like the surface of the Sun it's
super sunny and warm and I moved to
Washington DC where they get all four
seasons and I'm very free to limp that
like I get really cold I hope your your
subscribers are bilingual and so I got
all four seasons for the first time but
I don't like the winter I like the Sun I
like the warmth I'm like a beach girl so
I said like I love the spring I'm in
love with summer I'm infatuated with
fall I think it's beautiful
like it's so exciting and I don't like
the winter and like I think that's how
you can kind of like tell the difference
like some
people confuse love and infatuation why
I well is he supposed to tell you tell
you what my first love yeah give us
brownie little Mexican kid for just
scrawny little Mexican kids out here can
you tell us about your first love yeah
definitely I met my first love
actually in kindergarten and I fell in
love with her then in high school we're
both in the musical she was like the
drama superstar and I was I was always
so I was too cool for the plays and
stuff but I was like you know that's my
shot senior year I got to do this and
she was dating one of my best friends
but I knew I was right for her so I had
to you know convince her of that and
then I did and she was the lead and I
was very much in the background but it
all worked out and then we dated for a
while went to senior prom together had a
beautiful summer together after that but
then unfortunately had to split up for
college and the distance was just too
much the love couldn't overcome it so it
all came crashing down but we're still
friends to this day and we're still
close in some ways she's a really
amazing person and will always be my
first love
do you think that you guys will
you never know yeah I think it could be
a possibility if you're listening
Natasha you know yeah a shot I said yeah
yeah yeah we'll see my first love
Wow my first love was in kindergarten
his name was Rafael I still remember him
he was a little chubby guy and I used to
look for him all over the school and and
I was in love for him and later on he
was in Mexico City I traveled to waters
and I didn't know more about him so how
old were you when you guys went separate
ways
oh we were seven years old right now I'm
42 so it's been a long time ago why did
you love him why did you I don't know
maybe I always like the those kind of
people like chubby and like damn I don't
know he was not a kid but I think he
didn't like me because when he saw me he
used to run away from me so I think it
was it was only one way love have you
are you gonna love him
oh yeah I was married and as a matter of
fact I was married to a Rafael - but I'm
separate right now so in you're
separated okay maybe the first Rafael
will see this video and try to contact
you that would be great my first love
was a narcissist who was able to still
I keep his like hands around me like he
really was able to indulge and
completely take my and
kind of lock me up in a way but it was
really beautiful cuz I felt like I could
like save him from his issues and he
felt like he could save mine it would
kind of just dug like grapes for each
other but he's still my best friend
so yeah I don't even know how to explain
that I don't know four years later and
I'm still kind of stuck in this bubble
of trying to find myself and trying to
figure out what I need and why but my
first love was my best friend
are you over him
first
it was rough that's all I'm gonna say
about it I'm sorry it's over that's the
end leave it at that yeah I've never
been loved actually never had fun RC I
don't think I've ever been in love
oh I like she never had one interesting
never been in love never dated I've
never had a boyfriend
how do you imagine Oh it'll be a blast
I'm kind of annoying at the same time
man I think we'll see that's like the
hardest question because what do you
think about that it's like so many
emotions so many so many like experience
that so many memories coming to mind she
like couldn't date in high school and
then I knew that I was going to wait the
year until she was out of high school so
we couldn't date but then she texted me
and she was like so I was praying about
it and God's love maybe we should just
be friends
for four years after that I was mad at
her I was mad at God I was like well you
know it's like how could you let this
happen I thought it's good
like Cindy it like it's gonna last
forever when you find that person that's
like your first love like nothing else
is almost the same because nothing else
compares to like what do you how do you
get that same thing that's like somebody
else that you had
that's almost seems unmeasurable
comparable being with her being around
her being like and her company was like
the light in like the dark places of my
life it just made everything seem like
it was okay I guess she she actually is
that she's an amazing dancer
a ballet dancer and when I was falling
in love with her and I was thinking
about it like I was falling in love with
the ballerina kind of like a I that your
dream you know like a hole ever
someone's dream you know I realized I
loved her when uh we were she was coming
in from her dance show and I got her a
huge bouquet of flowers or roses 20 of
them and I'm waiting her at a car
because she doesn't know I'm there I
surprised her and she comes out and she
starts tearing up and I give her the
flowers I like I couldn't bring myself
to tell her I love her because there's
still early but I knew it and when later
we went to a golf course like a golf
driving range and we're sitting in the
car afterwards and she tells me she
loves me and I tell her I love her too
and she actually told me that she
stopped herself from saying I love you
after I gave her those flowers so
basically we found out that we loved
each other at the same time it was just
it's beautiful
yeah we're current we're currently
together or coming up on two years and
uh like forty days yesterday night there
was a sunset when I see a sunset
I think of God's creation when I think
of God's creation is beautiful but God
treated her more beautifully than the
sunset and I thank her for being her
because as beautiful she's on the
outside she's even more beautiful on the
inside
especially to me wasting your time stop
staying in
[Music]
thank you guys again for watching
another episode
I made a new shirt it says hey stranger
and if you want to check it out I'll
have it linked in my description that's
pretty much it I'll see you guys next
week
[Music]