PAUL: Do you know what today represents?
Nine, Jim. Nine years me and you been together.
Nine we been main shit stains.
I know some dogs that don't even live to be nine.
You lucky if you get seven years out of a Great Dane.
But me and you been putting it in together for nine...
Happy anniversary, Jim.
- I don't celebrate anniversaries. - Jim, open it up.
- I wanna see the expression on your face. - Wanna see the expression on my face?
The expression you're gonna see on my face is "Fuck you."
I hate anniversaries, Paul.
Animal.
How we gonna work this?
Same way we always do. I interrogate him, you write it down.
Oh, so you making decisions now?
I hope the whole 6-9 know you're making decisions.
I'm gonna play the bad guy on this one.
- Doubtful. - Undoubtful.
Highly doubtful.
And you know why? Because you don't play the bad guy.
You just steal all the bullshit lines you hear on TV and the movies that you like.
- And that's not acting. - And it's not stealing. It's called homage.
- What? - Homage.
It's French for, "You better let me do this."
- You wanna interrogate this guy? - Yes.
Okay. Go in there, interrogate him and just don't fuck it up.
Find out who his supplier is and then get out of there. All right?
Yes. You act like this dude can't be interrogated.
You act like he's Godzilla and I'm Tokyo.
Watch and learn, Jimbo. I'm gonna show you some motherfucking homage.
Homage.
Unbelievable.
Homage.
- Whoa, what you doing? - Who the fuck are you? A cop?
No, no, no. Put the gun down, man. Look.
Cops think they can hold me. Hell, no. I'll kill all those fucking pigs.
- You in trouble, B? - What?
- You... - Don't waste my motherfucking time!
Jesus Christ, now he's doing Al Pacino from Heat.
- Help me with these cuffs, dude. - You see this gun?
I killed a cop for it.
["KNIGHT RIDER" RINGTONE PLAYING ON PHONE]
And I took his goddamn phone.
You fuck me on this, and I'll blow your head off.
Because King Kong ain't got nothing on me!
- Who's this? - Now you're doing Training Day?
- Who's this? - You suck as an actor.
You stay out of here!
Get the information, let's get out of here...
...and go get something to eat. - Stop calling here!
- Or somebody's gonna die, bitch! - Like a Reuben.
- Lf it bleeds, we can kill it! - You see? What does that even mean?
Yes, they deserved to die, and I hope they burn in hell!
- Hey, Paul. - What?
You had me at "happy anniversary."
[CHUCKLES]
I got the death penalty in 12 systems.
- Star Wars? - Tell us about the chicken.
- Schindler's List? - Lord knows I love Harpo.
- But if he hit me, I'll kill him dead. - The Color Purple?
The Forbidden Zone was once a paradise.
I got no place else to go!
We're gonna need a bigger boat.
- Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice! - Everything on cable TV.
- Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker! - I've never seen that movie.
I'm not gonna shoot you, Frank.
[WHISPERING] Scarface.
RAUL: Who are you, man?
[IN NORMAL TONE] They call me Mr. Tibbs.
- Bobby, look at this. PAUL: What they got you for?
- Drugs. - Drugs?
You the motherfucker trying to take over my corners?
- Oh, jeez! - You taking money out my pocket?
Police!
Oh, no, I don't sell it, man! I'm a middleman.
- Give me some of that. - Godzilla is coming!
- Godzilla? - Godzilla is coming!
What we have here is failure to communicate!
You gonna spend the night in the box!
Frankly, Raul, I don't give a damn. And where...
- And where is the Batman? - Batman? You're crazy, man. Police!
- Why'd you call back? They don't call back! - Police!
Nobody puts Baby in the corner!
You suck!
No, I swear, man.
I swear they drop the stuff off at my cell phone store, then I take it to the next guy.
- Then what? - That's it. That's all I know.
- Who does the drop? - Who does the drop?
Diaz, all right? Juan Diaz. Juan Diaz.
PAUL: These are not the droids you're looking for.
Sit down. Sit down right here.
What the fuck? What the fuck is going...?
You're gonna give us Juan Diaz, or you're going away for a long time.
When's your next delivery? Look at me.
I was supposed to meet him today, 1:00.
Congratulations. You don't have to go to jail.
- You just been had by White Lightning. RAUL: What?
And Black Thunder!
A couple of dicks.
Time to go deep undercover, Jim.
PAUL: Free minutes. You can call your grandmother, your aunts, your uncles.
Free cell phones here! Free cell phones here.
You should use me to call your mother.
Check it out! Check it out!
- Free cell phones. - You're looking good in that outfit.
No one's... I'm just bored here.
There ain't nothing happening. I think I'm gonna call Debbie.
JIMMY: Right now, while we're working? PAUL: Now, yes, now.
I think something's happening. Something's going on.
Here comes our guy.
Want it? If I ain't got it, I'm gonna get it.
So get it while the getting's good, get it? Check it out.
Free minutes. You can call your grandmother, your aunts, your uncles.
Check it out! Check them ou...
[SPEAKING IN SPANISH]
BlackBerry?
[SPEAKING IN SPANISH]
Go ahead. It's okay.
- He took the money, Jim. - Raul gives you the sign...
...you get that guy out of there as soon as you can.
No, no, sorry, man. Chico, no!
Fuck!
[SCREAMING]
- Paul! Hey. Hey, hey, you all right? - Hey, he went out the back. Get the car.
You just shot at the wrong motherfucker, motherfucker.
All units, all units, be advised, be advised:
It's 10-34, shots fired. One man down.
Suspect, Hispanic male, black T-shirt, blue jeans.
Undercover officer dressed like giant cell phone in foot pursuit.
Paul. Paul, where are you?
Stop in the name of the law.
MAN: You see the spokes I got on this? - Police. I need the bike.
- Kiss my ass, cell phone man. - I said, police.
Yo, yo.
Scooby, get his ass. Come on. Get him, Scooby. Get him, get him.
I got him. I got him.
Oh, shit.
Heel, fake-ass Cujo.
All right, I got him.
Bad dog. Get off... Bad dog.
Damn it.
Shoot a fucking gun up here?
- [MOUTHS] Fuck. - Put the gun down, and slide it over here.
Fuck you doing firing a gun on a platform?
Hey!
Fuck!
PAUL: Jimmy! Look out, Jimmy!
- Jimmy! MAN: Hey.
Jim.
I'm doing Lance fucking Armstrong over here and you bullshitting on the ground.
MAN: Monroe and Hodges.
You know, there's a right way of doing police work.
There's a wrong way of doing it.
Then there's a way that you two idiots do it.
Thank you, captain.
ROMANS: What happened, Jimmy?
It just went south.
Right away.
The whole thing went south, Jack.
These new Mexican gangs, they got no style, they got no class.
- They shoot first and run second. - You should've coordinated with Anti-Gang.
You kidding? The guy says it's happening right now.
- We had to make a right-now move. - Anti-Gang and OCCB...
...have been sitting on that neighborhood. One call would have told you.
- Details never matter. - They don't return calls.
I've got waves of Mexican gang members moving in...
...bringing shipments of dope to that neighborhood from Canada.
The Mexicans fly the dope to Canada and bring it through Toronto.
Because of the heightened security along the southern border.
Really? That's how they get it done, huh?
- You looked confused about it. - I am.
That neighborhood is dead to me. Good job.
The good news, captain? We're fine.
The good news is you're suspended. Thirty days without pay.
What? Suspended without pay? What the fuck, Jack?
- Dead informant, neighborhood shot up... - You kidding?
- I got you two burning a sting. - We didn't...
I got nitwit here being filmed beating up a kid and then stealing his bike.
Nitwit here almost got his ass shot off. You beat up a kid?
- I needed the bike. - You can see it on YouTube if you want.
- Really? What, the YouTube? - Good job.
- How many hits I get? ROMANS: Well, there's at least two:
The chief of police and the deputy chief.
Your suspensions are effective immediately. Get out.
Jack. Jack, you remember Ava, right?
- My daughter, Ava? Right? - I know her, Jimmy.
You came to her christening?
Guess what, she's gonna get married in six weeks.
I'm counting on this money to pay for the wedding.
- I don't care. - You don't care?
Do what you gotta do. Badges and guns, give them up.
- Jack. ROMANS: Badges and guns, I said.
- Lf you're gonna make me beg, I'll beg. ROMANS: Give them up.
You heard what I said, Jimmy.
Jesus Christ, Jack.
Nice. Nice.
- Captain, your heart, it's a icebox. - Get out.
[GLASS SHATTERS]
- Should've ripped off that Gumby suit. - Maybe I was getting mauled by a pit bull.
Since when is it possible for a man to outrun a car?
- You are not the Six Million Dollar Man. - I got hit by a Geo Metro.
It's gas on the right, brakes on the left, Miss Daisy.
Who gets hit by a Geo Metro? So don't blame me for this bullshit.
- Fuck you. - Fuck you.
You.
- You guys are fantastic. - Gifted, even.
To destroy a whole month of our undercover work in mere minutes...
...takes genius-level stupid.
HUNSAKER: Every player we got eyes on disappears...
...when you start your bang-bang shoot-shoot, huh?
MANGOLD: Now, here's an idea. You check an assignment board.
[PHONE RINGING]
You make a call. You do not scramble another cop's eggs.
- Ever. JIMMY: I hate these calls at work.
I gotta take this. Excuse me. Hello?
- Hey, Jimmy, what's up? - Hey.
- It's me, Paul. - What's going on?
PAUL: You see who's standing in front of us?
JIMMY: Mangold and Hunsaker.
You ever notice that Hunsaker smells like 10 Jamaicans slap-boxing in a elevator?
You gotta see their wives, man.
Hunsaker, his wife got three teeth and two of those is in her pocket.
- Oh! PAUL: She got one titty missing a nipple.
They made a movie about these two.
- Kevin Costner and Robert De Niro. - What was it called?
- The Unfuckables. - The Unfuckables. I love that movie.
I'm not gonna lie, I like the idea of Kevin Costner and Robert De Niro playing us.
- [IMITATING DE NIRO] Little bit. - Mangold's wife is very unhappy.
She said he's all foreskin.
- Hey. - That's actually clever.
I'd love to talk about these guys but I gotta run.
- Cool stuff. Later. - I'll see you at the house.
I'm sorry, unrelated business. What were you saying?
You were right to kill that snitch.
And I'm glad you're okay.
You remember Sister Theresa who taught fifth grade?
Yeah, she was way too fine to be a nun.
[IN SPANISH]
POH BOY: She was cool, though.
Taught me how to throw a sick breaking slider.
Those putos are late with my Mercedes, homes.
Once that Mercedes is delivered to me...
...and I get that dead motherfucker's supply chain and bank accounts...
...we gonna expand our drug trade out of Brooklyn.
Take it across the whole East Coast.
And after that...
...we buying a farm team, Juan.
I'm sorry, Poh Boy.
Hector and Tapas stopped to get gas after driving all night.
And when they came out...
...the Mercedes was stolen.
You told me to hire those guys.
You told me the car would be safe in their hands.
[JULIO SPEAKS IN SPANISH]
I will deal with Tapas and Hector myself, right away.
[SPEAKING IN SPANISH]
Bless me, Father...
...for I'm about to sin.
[GUNSHOT]
[BODY THUDS]
PAUL: Can I put the cherry on top of the car?
JIMMY: No. PAUL: You just made me sad.
Shit.
I can't go in there and tell them I got suspended.
You don't have to.
It's my favorite gun, Jimmy. Take care of her.
Thanks, Paul.
- What are you doing with all these badges? - I lose them a lot.
Uncle Paul!
[BOTH LAUGHING]
Hey, baby. What's up?
You're doing it, huh? You're doing it.
- Pam! Mama Bear. Looking good. - Hello, Paul.
AVA: Hi, Daddy. PAUL: God, you look good, girl.
- You look good, girl. - Why, thank you, sir.
- I don't know who you are. Getting married. AVA: I'm getting married.
Oh, man, I can't believe it. I gotta go. I'm sorry. Poof. Disappear.
But I love you like the fat kid love cake.
If it comes to it, I got it. Okay?
PAUL: See you later. - I love you.
- Okay.
Well, let's go. Tell me everything. I'm excited.
- Hey. Things going well? - Yeah.
- You excited? - Yes.
- Still getting married? - Yeah.
- Remember what we talked about. Okay? - He's gonna rain on the parade...
...like he always does. - Amazing band.
- What's the name of the band? - The Virgins.
They're a little edgy for the ceremony.
So we just need the deposit checks to send out to hold everything.
- Let me see the list. AVA: It's pretty cheap, actually.
Yeah.
AVA: It's not much if you look at everything we're getting.
Cheap.
Jimmy, um...
...I know 48,000 seems like a lot, but...
...as dream weddings go, it's actually pretty modest.
And if you're okay with it...
...I'd really love to do this for Ava.
Do what, exactly, Roy?
Pay for the wedding, Jimmy.
Well, that's generous.
- Would you guys give us a second? - Daddy.
- Jimmy. JIMMY: We just wanna talk.
- We hardly ever get to talk. - It's okay.
- Go get a drink at the bar. - Be nice.
Get your mom a drink. Look at her, stressed out.
- What are you drinking? - Scotch.
Rum? Nice.
- Rum on the rocks for your stepfather. - It's fine.
- And I'm just gonna have some water. - Okay, Daddy.
- You look beautiful. You really do. - Thank you.
You both look great.
You know I'm a cop, right?
That I work for the N.Y.P. D?
They give me a gun with bullets.
I gotta go out every day, chase bad guys, try and catch them.
All kinds of bad guys:
Rapists, drug dealers, burglars.
But you know what the worst kind of bad guy is in my book?
It's somebody that would try to humiliate a father...
...in front of his own daughter.
His little girl.
- That it? - Yeah, that's it.
- It was good. - Thanks.
Listen, Jimmy. Ava's like a daughter to me.
She's not your daughter. She's my daughter.
Well, that's why I said "like a daughter."
And it's my job...
...to make sure she and Pam get anything they want.
I'm the second husband.
[LAUGHS]
And $50,000 for Ava's happiness...
...that's nothing to me.
You know, that's a weekend in Vegas.
Now, if you can't afford to pay for your daughter's wedding...
...I will.
Because a deadbeat ex-husband...
...who never had to pay any alimony...
...you're welcome, by the way...
...and can't pay for his only daughter's wedding?
Ooh. To me? That's a bad guy.
So why don't you go ahead...
...and keep your little promise to the great city of New York.
Take that gun of yours...
...and shoot yourself, Serpico.
- Daddy? Can I talk to you? - Of course. Of course.
Excuse me, Roy.
Prick.
I don't have to have the big wedding if it's too much.
We can just have something small with a few friends.
Oh, baby, come here. Are you kidding me?
You are gonna have the wedding that you always wanted.
Big, all your friends, everybody.
Even your mom's gonna be happy.
Stop worrying, all right?
- Really? - Really.
- Are you sure? - Yes.
Because I really want a big wedding.
You're gonna get a big wedding. What'd I tell you?
Gotta stop listening to this knucklehead.
- Is he looking at me right now? - Mm-hm.
Fuck him.
What the fuck?
What the...?
Mother...
Hey, Big Al, how you doing? Jimmy Monroe.
Listen, I gotta sell the Pafko.
See if you can find a buyer for me, all right?
Good morning, Deborah.
Good morning, Paul.
Is this yours from last night?
You got me, Paul.
I was celebrating because I finally closed the ramen account.
I forgot.
Noodles every day, every hour of the day, and you just forgot?
Don't change the subject.
Did you drink this bottle of champagne by yourself?
No, I didn't. I had some help.
- Who? - Henry.
- Henry? - Henry.
- Our neighbor, next door? - Henry, the next door neighbor.
How he get involved in our celebration?
Our celebration? You weren't even here.
I'm doing that thing again, right?
- Paul. - But, baby, you my tenderoni.
- And I get insecure. - I know that I'm lucky to have you.
I love you and I married you because you're funny, and you're smart.
And I'm orally fixated.
That's going too far.
You have no need to be jealous of Henry or anybody else, okay?
I'm yours. You have to believe that.
You know you got me open like a research monkey?
- I don't know what that means. - Can I get some?
I love you, booby. Give me some of that.
Hi.
Hi, Henry.
I'm gonna go take a shower. I'll see you tonight.
You gonna be my eyes, little bear.
What's with the box?
Gotta sell the Pafko.
I heard that. I know that's right.
- I'm lying. What's a Pafko? - It's a baseball card.
Baseball card?
- Jim, listen, if you need 20 bucks, I got... - Asshole, I don't need 20 bucks.
I'm selling it to cover my daughter's wedding.
So how much is that thing worth?
JIMMY: Well, it's a gem mint 10 Andy Pafko.
In 1952, when the Topps gum company came out with the first baseball cards...
...Andy Pafko was number one, the first card in that set.
Kids would collect the cards, right?
Then they'd stack them up, wrap rubber bands around them.
My pop...
...never wrapped rubber bands around his cards.
Loved Andy Pafko.
Always took good care of him.
About four or five years ago, they sold one of these at auction for about $83,000.
Eighty-three thousand grand?
Yeah. My daughter's wedding's gonna cost 48,000.
You're about to come off like a fat rat in a cheese factory, Jim.
Yeah, that's if we get 80.
I'd rather chew my own arm off than to have that guy Roy...
...stand up and take credit for it all. - I hear you.
I'm gonna stay out here and I'm gonna call Debbie.
Oh, good.
Big Al.
Mr. Monroe.
- Is that it? Is that the Pafko? - Yeah. That's it.
Just got off the phone with a buyer and he's gotta have it.
And I just have to appraise it. Can I take it out?
- You're talking about the card, right? - For the next four weeks, fuck this job.
I'm coming home to you. It's gonna be me and you. We gonna get freaky.
Careful with the edge. You're not gonna take it out...
[GRUNTS]
- Open up the register. Open it. - But l...
Dave. You want me to grab the cards?
Put your mask back on.
DAVE: He's calling me Dave because it's not my real name.
Just grab anything that looks old. He pays big for old shit like this.
Paul. Paul.
- Paul. Jesus. - I just wanna get you pregnant.
You know, my daughter come out, she be like 11 pounds, 20 ounces.
You know, running around the house with the doo-doo Pamper on.
- This guy's got a gun. - What?
I'm a cop.
[TASER BUZZES]
JIMMY: Ah! - Now I'm a cop.
Now, I need to see you. I just wanna be home with you. You know?
I'll start everything right now, you know?
Hey!
- Hey! - Jimmy, I'm on the phone.
MANGOLD: Mr. Monroe...
...we are the police. We're here to help.
Now, you've been the victim of a crime, do you understand?
I don't have time for this shit.
Whoa. Whoa, guy.
Based on the emotional state, how should we proceed? What do you think?
We get him a psych evaluation. We're gonna take you to Bellevue...
...just to make sure you're okay.
HUNSAKER: Now, for the record...
...how long, actually, have you been a...
...hobbyist?
MANGOLD: Now, were there any identifying marks on the suspects?
Nope.
PAUL: Okay, seven robberies, all with similar M.O.s.
All in Queens, five in Far Rockaway.
It just got me to thinking maybe our guy...
...got his tattoo from a local parlor in the neighborhood.
Now, here comes the genius. Check it out. Bust it, it might blind you.
This is the stuff my mother used to tell her friends about.
"My son is a genius. My son is a genius. He's a genius."
I called all the local parlors, using the robberies as a radius...
...and I think I got one guy that says he might have given somebody...
...a wiener dog surfer tattoo on his forearm.
Ah! What the fuck, man?
It's a cartoon dog surfing on his forearm.
Why don't you tell my partner who Dave is...
...before he draws two unicorns fucking on your face.
- Give it up. - Dave owes me money.
Says he's gonna pay after he hits this house tonight.
He's been casing one on the beach. In Rockaway.
That's all I know, man. That's all I know.
PAUL: It just keeps ringing and ringing and ringing. I mean, where the hell is she?
JIMMY: Just relax.
PAUL: Four fifteen in the morning and she doesn't pick up?
Ask any cop, his wife is sleeping with the phone next to the pillow...
...just in case something happens. She's probably with that Henry.
I am not doing this shit again.
Jesus.
- Who's this Henry guy? - He's our neighbor.
Every morning when Debbie takes the trash out...
... this Henry guy happens to take his trash out.
"Oh, Debbie, Debbie, Debbie, you look wonderful.
How about you come over.
Really? He's working all night?"
"Why don't you come over around 11.
While he's putting his life on the line, I could dickey-do you from behind."
- Dickey-do? - Fucking monocle-wearing motherfucker.
- Know what? I'm calling Debbie. - Give me that. Give me the phone.
- Give it back, Jim. Give me my phone. - I'm not giving it back.
Sick of this paranoid, "My wife is fucking around on me" bullshit.
- It's driving me fucking crazy. - I promise I won't call her.
If you're not gonna call, then you don't need the phone, do you?
- Give me my phone, Jim. - I'm not gonna... Man, what...?
Get off. I swear to God...
- You better get off of me. - Give me the phone.
- Give me my phone. - Head down, I said.
Get your head... What, you happy now?
Jesus Christ. You're a fucking child.
Oh, man.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
PAUL: What? What's going on? - Yo, what is that? Look at this.
- Unbelievable. - Let me see.
They're on the roof. What the fuck is that?
PAUL: That's called parkour.
It's a French martial art to get you around and over stuff.
What are you, Wikipedia?
- Got sand in the binoculars. - That's because you put it on my face.
JIMMY: We lost him now. Wait a minute.
- Oh, man. - What?
JIMMY: Are you kidding me? - What?
He's taking a shit in the house. Look. Upstairs. Where the light is.
Oh, shit. He's taking a shit in the house.
What kind of guy takes a shit in the same house that he's robbing?
I don't know. What kind of guy takes a shit in a high-pressure situation like this?
I'm not shitting nowhere except for my house.
I will pinch it in my ass for hours before I let it go.
But when I let it go, here, she blows.
Here, she blows. The big brown shark is gonna come.
I set records with my shit turds.
I move my bowels all over my toilet.
All over my bathroom, I'm moving bowels.
I shit so hard sometimes...
...people next door be like, "Warriors, come out and play."
JIMMY: Oh, God.
PAUL: What? - We got a problem.
Somebody's coming home. Come on.
LAURA: "All your base are belong to us"? What is that?
These Japanese guys made a video game. They don't know how to speak English.
- That is really, really weird. - Hey. Ma'am.
- What? - N.Y.P.D. Can you come here a minute?
What's going on? Why are we crouched down?
I'm Detective Hodges, this is Detective Monroe.
- Somebody broke into your house. - What?
He's in there. What we need you to do is take your son...
...go across the street to your neighbor's, and wait for us to get you, all right?
I'm not going anywhere. I'm gonna go take care of the son of a... B... . Myself.
Whoa, ma'am. I need you to put that gun on the deck right now.
No. F that. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm telling you, somebody's stealing my stuff, I've worked too G. D. Hard.
- You gonna smoke somebody, Mom? - F'ing A right I am.
- Ma'am, just please, put the gun down. - No F'ing way. I know my rights.
Lady. Put the F'ing gun down on the ground right now...
...take your son across the F'ing street to your neighbor's house...
...and stay there until we come and get you.
Jesus C.
You better not screw up any of my furniture. It's custom-made Italian.
PAUL: Jimmy!
[GRUNTS]
Shit.
Did you just fall down the stairs?
- No. PAUL: Shoot him, Jimmy.
- He rubbing my titty. - Put it down.
- I don't mean to. It's just nervous energy. - Hold still, Paul.
Just tell Debbie that I love her.
- Who's Debbie? - She's my old lady.
- Take your hand off his breast. - Kill him, Jimmy.
[SCREAMING]
Let him go, or the next one goes right through your head.
- Drop the gun on the floor. - No. No.
It's brand-new zebrawood, asshole.
Give it to me.
Here. Fucking pussies.
Motherfuckers. What do you think a doormat is for?
Pigs.
MAN: Poh Boy. Poh Boy.
We can get the car back, man.
[MAN SPEAKS IN SPANISH]
Shh.
Juan.
The contents of the Mercedes are very, very important to me.
[GUNSHOT]
Five grand to anyone who brings me that car.
[GUNSHOT]
DAVE: Wow, man. Holy shit. Can you believe that?
That girl almost blew my head off. Feel my pulse, man.
That was crazy. Crazy.
You were there. That happened.
Shut up. I'm on the phone.
All right. I'll be quiet. Hey.
I'm craving cheese right now. Could we stop, get some cheese?
Hey, turd burglar, all I wanna hear is where my baseball card is.
Where my partner's gun is.
- Your what? - My baseball card.
Why you talking to me about baseball cards?
Holy shit. Dude, I just Tasered you, man. Oh-ho!
Man. Hey, did you shit your pants when you got Tasered?
Because I Tasered myself, like, five times one night, I didn't shit my pants at all.
I had a little turtle head. It was like:
Like that, man. It wasn't what I thought it was gonna be.
- Machine again. - Who you trying to call? Your lady?
- Six o'clock. She's probably asleep. - Maybe she's banging another guy...
...and she doesn't wanna pick up the phone.
Dude, just sit the fuck back there and shut up.
Hey, you shut up. Hey. Can I get her number?
Oh, psych. I already got it.
You keep obsessing about this thing, it's gonna drive you crazy.
I know, I know. But he keep on saying stuff.
Maybe your wife suffers from that CCD disorder I saw on the news.
- What's CCD? - Cock-Craving Disorder.
It's where they crave the cock. Any cock, every cock.
She's probably in the middle of a D.P. Right now.
- Double penetration. - [MOUTHS] What?
He said "double penetration."
- Shut up. - You wanna shoot me?
- I'll shoot you in the face. - Shoot you in the face.
What? Shut the f... Shut up.
- Just shut up. - Shut up.
PAUL: Stop repeating me.
Stop repeating...
Shut up, man. You see what he's doing, Jim?
Shut up.
Jim, do you see what he's doing?
- He's trying to live here rent-free. - Don't tap your head with a gun.
- Shut up. - Okay.
- Just shut up. - Shut up.
Man, don't be saying what I say.
- Shut your mouth. - Shut your mouth.
- Not a peep. - Not a peep.
- Duck season. - Rabbit season.
- Come on. - You see what I'm saying, Jim?
- Come on, Jim. - Throw out this motherfuck...
Let's all calm down here.
You're angry, you're tired. I'm going to jail anyway, so let's just all chill out, okay?
Knock, knock.
Jim, don't do it.
Don't do it.
- Lf you value our partnership, don't do it. - Do it.
- Been putting it in together for nine years. - Do it.
- Don't do it, Jim. - Do it.
- Jim, don't do it, Jim. - Do it. Do it.
Who's there?
- Why'd you do it, Jim? Why? - Thank you.
Why? To humiliate me?
- Orange. - For what?
No. No. Mm-mm. Mm-mm.
No. No.
No, no, no.
Hell, no.
No. No.
I refu... No. No.
Orange who, damn it?
Orange you pissed your wife's taking it in the ass from another guy?
I'm gonna kill you, mother...
JIMMY: You're gonna tell us where my baseball card is.
PAUL: And where my gun is. DAVE: That's so fucking gangster.
PAUL: That's it. That's it.
Get out, you witty-bitty bing-bong freak.
Witty-bitty bing-bong ass out of the car.
DAVE: Ow! PAUL: You try to run...
...I'll shoot you in the ass.
This is police brutality.
Not yet.
[JIMMY LAUGHS]
- What are you doing? - All right. Last chance.
- Tell me where my baseball card is. - Okay. Okay.
Your baseball card, it's...
It's in Paul's wife's pussy.
- Let's get him, Jim. - At least we tried, right?
- Been nice knowing you. PAUL: You run your mouth too much.
DAVE: You run your mouth too much. - Jim, you see him doing...?
What's the fastest a human being can run?
I don't know, but let's go for the record.
Hang on.
DAVE: Whoa, whoa, whoa.
[DAVE YELLING]
Shit. Oh, my dick, my balls!
Oh, Mommy.
What a rush.
You guys are fun, man.
You wanna go on the Cyclone next?
I'm kidding. I'm putting on a brave face. I don't want to do that again.
I sold your gun and card for a few eight balls...
...and some mescaline and some ecstasy and...
You sold my baseball card for drugs?
- Yes. - What's your dealer's name?
- I don't know. I don't know his name. - He's nickel-and-diming us.
How you think he gonna do on the BQE, Jim?
Not good. Let's take him for a drag.
No, no, no. I don't know him. Okay?
He's like el fantasma. He's a ghost. You'll never see him.
Give me his name.
Okay, come on, guys. I don't know his name, okay?
- He uses different kids every time... - His name!
Nice.
Poh Boy.
He goes by the name Poh Boy.
Hey, fellas. Beautiful day, huh?
Believe this shit? Fuck you, homes. You trespassing.
You come straight out of a comic book.
Somebody didn't get enough love as a child.
This'll make you feel warm and fuzzy.
I ain't some kid you're gonna just come shove off a bike, pig.
- Wow, you saw that? - That's right, cell phone bitch.
You know how many hits I got?
That many hits. Now, if you don't start respecting 5-0...
...you gonna make me get my hit count up.
[IN SPANISH]
We wanna know where Poh Boy is.
[IN ENGLISH] Don't do it, homes. Don't fucking do it.
- Who? - You know where Poh Boy is?
[IN SPANISH]
- He's French. - Oh.
Well, Pierre, fee-fee, foo-foo, volly froo.
Dijon mustard, motherfucker.
We going in. Come on.
PAUL: Jesus.
Oh, he got your card.
You guys like my diamond vault, right?
And baseball is played on a diamond. Get it?
So who was it that named you after the sandwich?
Your mom or your dad?
How can I be of service to you, officers?
I want my baseball card.
- What card might that be? - Don't play cute with us.
And don't you raise your voice in my house.
Because if such a card exists, then...
...you know, it might easily get destroyed.
- So you do have it. POH BOY: I ain't say that.
What if someone did?
Are we still playing what-ifs?
All right, what if you had to make some sort of deal to get it back?
What if we arrest your ass?
What if your house caught on fire?
What if your Andy Pafko card...
...accidentally falls into a running garbage disposal?
I think I just had the scariest "what if," homes.
What kind of deal you talking about?
Deal. Man. Let's call it a favor.
- Nothing illegal. POH BOY: No.
No, someone stole my vehicle, officer.
This car has tremendous sentimental value to me.
All I want is for you to do what cops are supposed to do...
...and find my fucking car.
- So the car for the card. POH BOY: If you could get me my car back...
...then perhaps Senor Pafko makes his way back to you.
- And safe at home. - Oh, fuck this.
Give us the card, or I'm gonna go berserk in this motherfucker.
Watch this, man. Boys.
You like that? Yeah, we practiced that shit for an hour.
So shoot. Go ahead. You might get me.
JIMMY: So...
...what kind of car are we talking about?
POH BOY: Those the two from the phone store?
JUAN [IN SPANISH]:
Calculated risk, baby brother. I need that car.
So you follow them.
PAUL: You know the bonobo chimpanzee...
...is the only non-human primate that has oral sex?
JIMMY: Where do you find the time to watch the Animal Planet?
I'm with you 25 hours a day.
I have to feed this. I have to feed this, okay?
Well, you're a compendium of fucking useless information.
Well, I don't wanna look at reality TV because that's the bowels of Hollywood.
I fucking hate reality TV. You're right, it fucking blows.
And I like to see chimpanzees getting head.
You got a point.
[CAR ALARM BEEPING]
Here we go.
So this guy's the biggest car thief in Brooklyn.
Let's be careful.
You just scratched my ride.
- What the hell are you doing, Tommy? - Driving, bitch.
- Get out the car. - Because I'm black?
- No, because you're 10. - Eleven.
PAUL: Get out. TOMMY: I was wearing my seat belt.
Get out of the car, you little repeat offender.
Fuck.
We need to know about the Mercedes that was stolen a couple of nights ago...
...in the back of the mini-mart.
I ain't telling you shit. And you can't do shit. Because I'm a minor.
[JIMMY LAUGHS]
Fuck you too, Professor X-Iooking motherfucker.
You are an angry young man.
- Messing with my business, bitch. - Whose car is this?
- Your mama's. - You mother...
- What? - You know, I will smack the black off you.
- You can't do anything to me. - Tell us about the stolen Mercedes Benz.
- I'm not telling you nothing. - You tell me something or...
[GRUNTS]
Motherfucker.
I told you be careful.
[TOMMY LAUGHS, THEN GRUNTS]
Paul, did you just punch a little child?
There's things you don't know about me. Fuck a little kid up if he kick me in the dick.
Come on. Let's go. I'm gonna throw you in the river.
- Sick of this. Let's go. - Tell us about the stolen car.
- Fuck you. PAUL: I hope your ass could swim.
JIMMY: Better yet...
...I should take you home and tell your mom what you've been up to.
- No. She'll beat my ass. - Tell me about the Mercedes.
It wasn't me. But I know the guys who stole it. They sold it to a lawyer.
- You all right? - Ouch.
JIMMY: Give me the name. - Kapanowski. Something crazy.
He's Russian. I can get you the address. Just don't take me home.
Get that address.
I'm 11 and I got a better phone than you.
Broke-ass bitch. Yo.
Whoa. Tongues are cut out.
HUNSAKER: Yeah, that's a big thing with the Latin gangs.
They like to remove the tongues so you can't repent your sins...
...to Jesus in the afterlife.
So, what are these boys? Salvadoran? Honduran?
Rudels. That makes them Mexican nationals.
Intricate stitching, higher heel, skin usually of an endangered species.
- In this case, goddamn it, sea turtle. - How the hell do you know that?
I know boots.
MANGOLD: Those are great. HUNSAKER: Thank you.
MANGOLD: I might be thinking about getting a pair.
- No, sir. These boots would wear you. - You don't mean that.
Let me ask you a question, cop-to-cop.
What size do you think those are? I'm a 10.
You might wanna...
[SPITS]
Never wear a dead man's boots.
That is a world of bad luck you do not want a part of.
Sorry. And thank you.
So, maybe we should find out what got these hombres in so much hot salsa.
HUNSAKER: Gentlemen.
PAUL: Still don't understand how he got the rooster to play the piano.
JIMMY: He just puts a little chicken feed on the keys that he wants the chicken to peck...
...so he can play a song.
- It's not that complicated. PAUL: I'm gonna be the bad guy.
No, you're not. You fucked up your whole performance last time.
Bullshit. I was totally believable.
[IN SPANISH]
PAUL: I've been working on my acting. JIMMY: That's not acting.
PAUL: Homage.
- I'm playing the bad guy. - You ain't.
No. You ain't.
Jimmy, you sucker-punching piece of shit.
What are you doing? No, please, don't. No. No. No.
Hey, are you a lawyer? Hey. Are you a lawyer?
Get over here!
- You, come here. - Don't kill me. No, no!
Take her, please. Take her.
No. She's more valuable. She won't scream.
- Drop the gun. - Put that gun down, copper.
- I am a hostage negotiator. I'm a police. - Put it down.
Please, citizens, stand away from that criminal.
- Not a step further, copper. - Easy, big fella.
Easy.
- Easy. - Easy, big fellow.
- We don't wanna... Easy. - Easy, big...
- Shut up. - Easy. Simmer down. Simmer down...
I killed 11 people today. I don't care. I'll kill more.
Eleven people? I am an attorney, I can represent you. I have card.
Don't hurt nobody. We don't wanna hurt nobody. Easy, big fella.
- Where's the car keys? - Car keys?
Right. I need the car. We're getting out of here.
- Easy, easy, easy. - No car. No car. You have my wife.
Go get the car keys!
I'm your friend. Listen. I'm your friend.
- You are in direct violation of code five. - What are you doing?
I'm doing Robocop. You need to stay in character.
- Would you come on. - You need to stay in character.
JIMMY: Outside. Outside. - Just...
You're a terrible police officer. You know that?
- Where's your car? - In the garage. On the side. In the garage.
- All right. I'm taking the dame with me. - Hey, man. Hey, man, take me.
Take me, man. Take my gun.
I feel your pain, bro. Me. I feel your pain.
- All right. I'm taking the cop with me. - Okay.
[JIMMY LAUGHS]
That is what I'm talking about. Meryl motherfucking Streep, baby.
- Totally in character, totally believable. - You were terrible.
Eleven people? You killed 11 people today? And why did you smack me?
I was in the moment...
...and the moment said smack you. - You can't be all the time trying to slap...
Jesus Christ!
- Who the fuck are these guys? PAUL: It's the dude from the store!
What the...?
Oh, the hell with this shit!
What the...?
A goddamn cemetery? Well, that's just fucking great, Paul. Really.
All we gotta do now is just hop out of the car...
...and we can hop in a fucking grave. - Hop.
JIMMY: Hold the car still.
- Let them have it, baby. - Shit.
Now's a good time to do something.
Yeah.
PAUL: This is a pretty goddamn popular car. JIMMY: Let's find out why.
[THUDDING]
PAUL: Whoa, whoa, whoa!
[MUFFLED SCREAMING]
It's okay. It's okay. It's okay.
[IN SPANISH]
PAUL: Are you all right?
Hold on.
[SPEAKS IN SPANISH]
Look. Police. Paul. Police.
- Paul. "Jimmy." - "Jimmy"?
Gabriela.
Grabiela?
Gabriela.
[SPEAKING IN SPANISH]
Let's just get her to a washroom.
GABRIELA:
JIMMY: It's gonna be okay. PAUL: It's okay. It's okay.
JUNIOR [IN SPANISH]:
[JUNIOR WHIMPERING]
You lose the Mercedes.
You lose the girl.
And you get Juan killed. My baby brother.
What?
Five grand's not enough, man? What, I gotta up it?
Fucking 20 Gs.
Those putos go anywhere with that girl...
...man, I wanna know.
I'll take a order of spicy carrots and some guacamole.
What? How's me eating gonna hurt?
[SPEAKS IN SPANISH]
Chimichinga with shredded beef.
No food, Manuel. I need your help over here with something, all right?
Of course, Jimmy.
- Spicy food. - It's not just for me, it's for the table.
Listen, Manuel...
Manuel, this is Gabriolo. Gabarolo. Gabarolo.
And she's in trouble.
We need you to interpret her story and let her know we're here to help.
But we need to know what happened to her.
Okay. All right.
[SPEAKING IN SPANISH]
She's really scared.
We need to talk somewhere private. Now.
- All right. - Yeah, let's go.
HUNSAKER: Yes. Well, l...
MANGOLD: Got something. Got something, Ray. It's really big.
I am about to seriously blow you...
...away. - Right, well, I appreciate it very much.
All right. Bye.
- I'm sorry, you were saying something. - Got a ballistics match.
Uh-huh.
Now, from the gun found on the dead banger at the cemetery.
- Now, that gun. - Look at that.
- This gun... - That's a gun.
It's in a bag. - Is registered to none other...
...than Detective Paul... - Hodges.
Damn. How did you know? You been in the bathroom all day.
Look what I have, a picture of the crazy clown right here.
Okay. Gabriela was the mistress of one of Mexico's biggest drug dealers.
- The one who got killed? MANUEL: She went to the police...
...and they tried to kill her in her home.
They killed her sister.
Her brother, he paid a man to get her across the border.
When she was going across, that coyote sold her out.
Some men put her in a plane.
Then they put her in the trunk in a car for two days.
And you know the rest.
I'll be right back.
JIMMY: Get me a shirt, will you?
So my daughter's getting married.
It's a guy named Ronald.
He's nice to her, he's nice to my daughter.
When my daughter was born, the first thing that she did, the moment she was born...
...she winked at me. Can you imagine that?
A little infant doing that?
She was trying to tell me everything was gonna be all right.
Always made it easy for me. Even in divorce.
Always made it easy. Easy-going kid.
Really...
I just want her to be happy, that's all.
Her mother thinks I'm a jerk-off. She hates me.
That's why I gotta get this card back.
You know, I just gotta...
One time, I gotta do the right thing...
...and give my daughter this wedding that she wants.
And then I won't look like such a jerk.
You know what I mean?
Jimmy.
Okay.
JIMMY: How many guns did you get?
This is the hidden nanny cam that I had in my bedroom.
And I can't watch what's on here so I need you to press play.
No.
No fucking way.
- Come on, Jimmy. - I am not looking at that.
You are insane, Paul.
You have a wife in that house that loves you.
And you put a camera in her bedroom. You have actually gone nuts.
But I'll tell you something right now, I'm not looking at it.
No.
- Please? JIMMY: No.
Please?
Don't show me the bear.
Hey, honey. Mind your business back there, all right?
- You don't even know what she said. - Neither do you. Put the fucking bear down.
You know what she said?
She said, "Please, Jimbo.
Please look at what's on there, on this tape.
My master's hurting so bad in his heart.
- Please?" - You've lost your mind.
You are insane.
I'm gonna regret this, I know it.
- There's nothing on here. - Yes.
- Yes. Yes, you mother... - Here.
Take your bear, take your bear. Put it in the bag.
- Can we go now? - Yeah.
PAUL: Yeah. Hey, thanks a lot, buddy. Okay.
That was my guy at the FBI.
He says he can help, but he can't be here for another 24 hours.
So until then, we watch the girl and wait.
So I guess I just kiss my card goodbye, huh?
- Jimmy, forget about the card for now. - Think I'm gonna forget Ava's wedding?
You know I want Ava to have the wedding that she wants. But right now...
...my focus is on keeping Gabriela alive. - Think I'm not?
Not when every word coming out of your mouth is, "My card, my card, my card."
[PHONE RINGING]
Jimmy, we're not done yet.
- Yeah. - Jimmy, it's Hunsak...
- It's Barry Mangold. I'm here too, brother. - Nice. You know what time it is?
HUNSAKER: Listen, we found a gun on a known murderer.
Way to go, Sherlocks.
It's registered to your partner. We know Paul's dirty.
Meet us at the Ladder in 20 minutes.
Yeah.
All right.
Going after the card, aren't you?
- I'm not gonna do this with you now, Paul. PAUL: Chrissakes, Jim.
Ava will be just as happy if you let Roy and Pam pay for the wedding.
- Just stay here and watch the girl. - What if Poh Boy put a tail on you?
I'm not gonna let you jeopardize Gabriela's safety.
You stay here or you stay away.
- Don't know what you're talking about, Paul. - Hey, Jim.
- He came. HUNSAKER: He had to.
Up past your bedtime, huh, Mangold?
- Zing. - All right. Thanks for coming, Jimmy.
We need your help on something.
I need to know if you're aware...
...that your partner's piece was used on a hit of a Mexican national.
He's playing coy.
Paul's gun was found...
...in the dead hand of one Juan Diaz.
Juan was the shooter from the cell phone store, you may remember.
- Got himself an older brother. MANGOLD: Poh Boy.
Which is fun to say.
His name is Poh Boy and he's looking to expand his drug business.
MANGOLD: He's looking for any help he can get.
Including cops.
Just wanna know if you're aware of the situation...
...that your partner has gotten you into.
Help us help you. Think of us like your diary.
You guys are just out here playing cops and robbers, aren't you?
Got your guns, your badges...
...your cute little boots.
But really you don't have any idea what's going on.
If you ever try to play me against my partner again, I will fuck you up.
You first.
You should know better.
[PAUL SNORING]
Hi.
[IN ENGLISH]
I think I should tell you something.
This is real nice, but nothing is gonna happen between us.
See, I'm married. And I love her.
[IN SPANISH]
I have feelings for you too.
Not that I don't want anything to happen between us.
I think you're beautiful and sexy.
And you probably even got a bit of a nasty streak when it comes to the bang-bang.
[IN ENGLISH] Bang-bang.
Yeah. But nothing is gonna happen.
[IN SPANISH]
I hope you can respect that.
Hey. Hey, wait a minute. What? What?
I didn't mean anything about the whole bang-bang thing.
No, I can't get in the shower with you.
You're getting in the shower.
[IN ENGLISH]
[IN SPANISH]
[SHOWER RUNNING]
[IN ENGLISH] Don't even look at me like that.
You just a bear. Shut the fuck up.
No.
No. No, Debbie, no.
No, Debbie, no.
JIMMY: Diaz.
Diaz. D-l-A...
Yeah, okay. That's for you, Ali.
Okay, thank you.
Thanks, buddy. Be safe. Take care of yourself.
Hello? Hello?
Hey, hello? Yeah? I'm sorry, did I wake you up?
Hi, I'm calling about the Diaz funeral.
Yes, Juan Diaz. That's right, Juan Diaz.
What time is that? What time is that?
Okay, 2:30, thank you. Thank you.
I'm so sorry I woke you up. Okay, have a good night. Sweet dreams.
Ali, I'll see you. Stay out of trouble.
It's just me. Where's the girl?
She's in the shower.
Have you been crying?
I saw the nanny cam.
JIMMY: I wish you didn't have to see that.
I couldn't let you look at it, that's all.
I've been where you are.
Roy?
Yeah.
Come here, man.
- Look like you need a hug. - Whoa, you really read that one wrong.
- It's just that I'm vulnerable. - How long's she been in there?
I don't know. Does this mean that we're not broken up anymore?
What are you, in the fifth grade? You're my partner.
How long's she been in here? Hey. Hey, yo, open up. I gotta go.
Gabriela, just put a towel on, okay? I'm just gonna... I gotta take a...
Oh, man. What the fuck? You're a great cop. You are a great cop.
- I'm supposed to be holding her hand? - You don't let her get out the window.
You didn't hear that? You fall asleep on the bed, did you?
No. No.
Here, you speak Spanish.
[SPEAKING IN SPANISH]
- I know what peligro means. - What's it mean?
It's Puerto Rican for penguin. I knew that.
What? We got...
Whoa.
That's something...
...that you put in a computer. - In a computer.
JIMMY: That banger that got killed in the cemetery when his car went in the grave?
- Poh Boy's little brother. - So?
So Mangold and Hunsaker put them together.
They think I'm a dirty cop because the shit bandit gave Poh Boy my gun? That blows.
JIMMY: Hey.
Police. We need to use your computer.
Well, I don't know. I'm just a night manager...
...and for something like that, I'd probably have to call...
...and get an okay from the general manager on that.
Translate this, put your GED to work, okay? Thank you. How you doing?
- What do you do? - Housekeeping.
She's an hourly housekeeper. Hourly-rate housekeeper.
- Hey, Jim, check this out. - What?
Now I know I'm not bugging.
Looks like her boyfriend's bank accounts and suppliers.
This could make Poh Boy drug king of New York.
Boom, bam, boom.
Seven hundred and fifty million dollars. Or 7 billion pesos. Either way...
PAUL: Know what I'm thinking? Poh Boy never wanted Gabriela.
- He wanted this flash drive. - Yes, he did.
She's very afraid for you. The note says:
"I have put you in danger. You should not die because of me.
Thank you for your help. You were sweet like chocolate."
I think she's talking...
...to you.
JIMMY: Okay. I got an APB out on Gabriela.
We got one hour while Poh Boy's at his brother's funeral...
...to break into his house and get my card. PAUL: How?
DAVE: You're not very chatty, Darnell. - Will you shut the fuck up?
[TOILET FLUSHES]
I'm just, like, a social butterfly by nature, you know?
Hey.
Do you wanna be my jail cell BFF, without the forced rape?
Look, man. Can't you see that I'm dealing with some real deep shit?
- Can't you see I'm trying to reach...? - Hey, guard.
Hey, guard. You know?
- Guard. - Guard.
- Back the f... - Back the f...
- Hey... - Hey...
You fucking with me?
Are you fucking...?
Back the fuck up, l...
I will jump on the other side and...
You trying to...?
Oh, yeah. This motherfucker.
Yeah. That's, like, one of the things I like to do.
I like to play the oboe too. And I do parkour.
That's a couple fun facts about me. You know what I mean?
Talk to me. Tell me. I wanna know you.
Come on, man. I wanna get inside of you, Darnell.
What's your vibe? What do you do? What do you do, man?
I wanna know about you.
Like, I wanna know your thing, you know?
What's up with you? Tell me.
- I knit sweaters. - What?
- No way. - Yeah.
- Come on. - Yeah, come on, I knit sweaters.
- No, you can't. - Yeah, I can.
- No, you can't. - Yes, I can.
- No, you can't. - Yeah, I do, man.
I could knit the fuck out of a big, nice sweater.
Hey, nutjob.
Someone just paid your bail.
- Yeah? - Who the fuck would pay his bail?
Poopsie. The window you're gonna break in in this house is on the second floor.
Yeah, second-story window. No problem.
We're only gonna have about 30 to 40 minutes with the house empty.
I need you to get in there and get up to the second floor where his diamond vault is.
Probably where he keeps the card.
It's gonna be easier than giving Paul's wife an ATM.
Ass to mouth.
He said ass to mouth.
Yo, that shit's not funny, man.
- His wife really is cheating on him. - Wait, what?
- No. - Yeah, yeah.
No.
No. Why are women like that?
Oh! I feel terrible now.
How are you gonna deal with this, Paul, emotionally?
I don't know. I'm not sure.
Hey.
Don't you give up on love, Paul, you hear me?
- Don't you give up on love. Okay? - I almost gave up.
- Don't give up. PAUL: No, I ain't giving up.
- Because love inspires. You know? PAUL: Yes, it do. Damn.
- And you're full of love. You'll be fine. - Love.
- Full of it. - You are.
- Got a whole bag of it. Yeah. - I can see that.
Yeah, you know something, man? David?
What you just said to me moved me, man. It was heavy stuff.
- You know where I came up with that? - Where?
- When I was doing the thing that I love. - Taking a shit in somebody's car?
- Jim, come on. - What?
When I was watching sunsets on Rockaway Beach.
It's my favorite thing. Most beautiful thing you've ever seen.
- I love sunsets. - No, you don't.
- Yes, I do. - No, you don't.
- Wanna come with sometime? Seriously? - Yes.
Hey, hey, hey. Sit back.
Hey.
[WHISPERING INDISTINCTLY]
[PAUL LAUGHING]
What?
- What? - Yeah, yeah.
- Right? Right? - What?
Off you go.
[WHISPERING INDISTINCTLY]
[PAUL LAUGHING]
More secrets.
- Is he gonna do more of that parkour stuff? - He's a pro.
- My man. Told you. You saw that? - Hey, Paul.
Oh, shit.
[THUDS]
No!
My card.
PAUL: Oh, shit. He ain't moving. - Hop in there and check his pulse.
I'm not hopping in there and doing nothing.
- You're not gonna help? - It was your baseball card.
He was your friend. You were making out in the car.
But that don't mean I need to hop over there.
JIMMY: You're no help at all, Paul, really.
- I can't feel a pulse. - Are you doing it right?
- Yes, I'm doing it right. He must be dead. - He can't be dead.
- Goddamn it. I was counting on this kid. - He looks like a little angel.
What are we gonna do with him?
- Let's just throw him in a Dumpster. - What? No.
He's not a piece of trash that you just throw in a Dumpster. He was my friend.
- Be right back. - Where are you going?
- To get my card. - Are you crazy?
We gotta get out of here before these people get back...
...and we still gotta find Gabriela.
We got 20 minutes. I'll be in and out. Give me a boost.
Boost? With all due respect, Jimmy, fuck no.
JIMMY: Just push my feet up with your hands.
PAUL: What? - I'm gonna stand on your head.
Just stand still, all right?
Don't step on my head! You stepped on my forehead, Jimmy.
Ta-da!
Ta-da, my ass. You better get that card and let's get out of here before they come back.
[CARTEL DE SANTA'S "VATO SENCILLO" PLAYING OVER CAR STEREO]
[PHONE RINGS]
Talk.
[IN SPANISH]
[IN ENGLISH] We got the girl.
She was hiding at her uncle's house.
[IN SPANISH]
DEBBIE [ON VIDEO]: It's a rock.
[DEBBIE AND MAN LAUGHING]
MAN: Oh, boy.
DEBBIE: I'm gonna get a rubber. MAN: Okay.
Hi, Paul.
I found your little camera. Is this what you wanted, huh?
Is this what you wanted? Remember my gay cousin, Eric?
Hi. How are you?
That's her gay cousin.
Fuck you, Paul. How can you not trust me?
Trust her, buster.
That's her gay cousin.
- All I do is sit here and worry about you. - Worry.
And this is what you do? I love you.
That is her gay cousin!
Yes. That's her gay cousin. Look, motherfucker, look.
That's her gay cousin. That's her gay cousin. You motherfuck...
[IN SPANISH]
GABRIELA [IN SPANISH]:
Fuck.
[PHONE RINGS]
- [WHISPERING] Paul, not now. - Jimmy. Jimmy, guess what?
She didn't do it. She didn't cheat. Debbie did not cheat.
- That was her cousin. - That's great, buddy.
It was a goof. Oh, man, it was their...
...fuck-you-for-putting-the- camera-in-the-room thing.
I just had to watch longer.
Good, because you know what else you should be watching?
- What's that? - The whole Mexican army...
...is dragging Gabriela in through the fucking garage.
- Jim. I'm coming to get you. - No, no, no. Stay where you are.
- I'll text you. - All right.
MAN: We got a fighter, man.
[PHONE BUZZING]
Oh.
Okay.
MANGOLD: You know, I've been thinking. HUNSAKER: Uh-huh.
Poh Boy? We only have his dead brother as a connection to the killings.
You know, we don't actually have anything that implicates Poh Boy directly.
More importantly, nothing that ties Jimmy and Paul to Poh Boy.
- That's the balls. - Why don't we go directly to the source.
Why don't we put the squeeze on this Poh Boy son of a bitch...
...until he makes us some truth juice, huh?
- Make us some what? - Not from concentrate.
- Let's go make us some truth juice. - Let's do it.
[IN SPANISH]
[IN ENGLISH] She's got moxie.
[MUFFLED YELLING]
[IN SPANISH]
GABRIELA:
TINO: Andy Pafko.
- [IN ENGLISH] What you want, twat? - Come on, papi chulo.
Is that any way to talk to baseball legend Andy Pafko, Mr. Dickhead?
Or should I say:
[SPEAKS IN SPANISH]
That's chicken head, vato.
You sure?
The number you have reached is not in service. Bye-bye, now.
Then I guess I gotta take this crucifix to the Federales, then.
- You bring it to me or she dies. - Fuck you.
You come to us. One hour, under the Pulaski Bridge, bring the girl and the card.
- One hour. - Put the girl on the...
They got what I want.
They want me to meet them under the Pulaski Bridge.
You and your best shooters stay with me. Everyone else goes to the bridge.
Okay, when those dicks show up, you kill them.
And you bring me that crucifix.
JIMMY: Oh, shit.
Did you remember to take your pills?
Yes. Thank you.
MANGOLD: Hey, do you think you'll still come to that jazz thing later?
HUNSAKER: I don't.
JIMMY: Shit.
What the...?
HUNSAKER: Wanna get some Indian food after this?
I'm still full from all that cheese.
[PAUL YELLS]
[GUNFIRE]
[HUNSAKER GRUNTS]
[MEN YELLING INDISTINCTLY]
- What the fuck are you guys doing here? - What are you doing here?
- What did we walk into? - How's he doing?
- Ray? - I think it went through.
- Pressure on it, Ray. - How you doing?
- Where's the car? - Over there.
- Hey, you think you can make it there? - No, I will not leave him.
Listen to me, man. You gotta go call this in or else he ain't gonna make it.
He's afraid of getting shot.
- Don't let me get shot. - I'm not gonna let you get shot. Be brave.
- Okay, count for me. - One. Two. Three.
Go.
Officer down. All patrols, respond.
JIMMY: Ow!
Oh, come on.
Yo, you got my shoe?
POH BOY: Come on. You two, take upstairs.
Kill anything that tries to get in.
[IN SPANISH]
[WHISPERING] Stay low, stay low.
Yo.
[MOUTHING] I'm going in. In one, two, three.
- Did you get him? - His head's not there. Does that count?
Yeah.
[GRUNTING]
[YELLING]
JIMMY: Yoo-hoo! - Ah!
[YELLING]
Hey. Hey!
Jim, I just got shot.
[SPEAKS IN YIDDISH]
[SPEAKS IN SPANISH]
POH BOY: I hear you whispering sweet nothings to each other.
You better not be blowing each other in my house.
We're not, you prick.
POH BOY: Hey, the only thing keeping you guys here is the girl.
And I just want my flash drive. So, what do you say we trade, huh?
You ready?
I'm ready. Let's go be great.
Do you even listen to yourself sometimes?
- You trespassing, detectives. - Call 911.
[SIRENS WAILING IN DISTANCE]
Pretty fast, homes.
Yeah, but I could still kill the fuck out of her before they put me in bracelets.
Don't kill the fuck out of nobody. Just let her go.
[IN SPANISH]
[IN ENGLISH] You know, you two putos want her to keep this pretty face...
...you better bring my fucking flash drive.
[IN SPANISH]
POH BOY:
I don't believe this motherfucker. He's a nincompoop.
You're a nincompoop. You know that?
Send the girl over here, we give you the flash drive, everybody go home happy.
Oh, man, you think I'm gonna give up a hostage, homes?
[POH BOY LAUGHS]
Me and this bitch are gonna go for a little ride.
All right? You get all these pigs out of here and get a car waiting for me out front.
[IN SPANISH]
[IN ENGLISH] I'm gonna bust your fucking head open.
You know how tired we are from killing all your friends?
You should have quit while you was ahead, homey.
- You got him? - Yeah, I got him.
Y'all ain't gonna shoot me.
[IN SPANISH]
On three.
POH BOY [IN ENGLISH]: Man, you ain't gonna shoot nobody, man.
That's right, you ain't got the fucking balls.
That's one, two, shoot on three? Or one, two, three, then shoot?
- One, two, three, then shoot. PAUL: There you go getting mad.
- Always one, two, three, then shoot. - I'm not good at math.
[IN SPANISH]
- [IN ENGLISH] Come on, man. - Are you ready?
- Yes. - One.
[GABRIELA SCREAMS]
Motherfucker.
MANGOLD: Careful, you guys.
HUNSAKER: It's all right, kid. They know what they're doing.
MANGOLD: Want me to ride with you in case you die?
I want you to stay here and finish the job.
Hey, Barry.
Those boots fit you well.
PAUL: It's okay. You're "safe-o."
[SPEAKING IN BROKEN SPANISH]
She has all of it. She has everything you need.
[IN ENGLISH]
No goodbye kiss for "Jimmy," huh?
[SPEAKS IN SPANISH]
[SPEAKING IN SPANISH]
[SPEAKS IN SPANISH]
- Where are you going? - To get my card.
Hey. Detectives. Wait a minute, wait a minute.
Fucking shit.
You got some nerve, you two.
Captain...
Suspended but still backing up Mangold and Hunsaker on their investigation?
- No. I mean, well, we... - Yeah, Mangold told me all about it.
- He did? - Captain, we were...
No, no, no, you did good. You did good.
You saved the lives of two of my guys. Putting you both up for a Combat Cross.
- Ah! - Sorry, Paulie.
JIMMY: Doc, whoa, whoa, whoa. Doc, listen.
- I gotta check this body for evidence. - Do me a favor, use a glove. Use a glove.
Open it up.
PAUL: There's some Swiss cheese upstairs, go check it out.
CORONER: Be quick about it, huh? I got a week's worth of dead.
Just go find something to do for five seconds.
Glad I shot you in the corazón, el Poh Boy.
"Corazón" means "heart." Gabriela hipped me to that.
Mm-hm. That's right.
You didn't shoot him in the corazón, okay?
- You must have shot him in the shoulder. - I shot him in the heart. You crazy?
Excellent shot, right there.
So I got shot too, you know?
Only reason why I ain't passed out yet is because I wanted...
That ain't my shot.
No, that ain't my shot. There's muscle memory at the Academy.
They teach you, better aim for the arteries and stuff like that. That ain't my shot.
I'm sorry, Jim. Jimmy, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it.
[PAUL SOBBING]
I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Jimmy. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. Jim.
- Fuck. - Jimmy.
Can we say a prayer together?
Come on, man. Drinking ain't gonna make things better, gonna make things worse.
Got some 20/20 Mad Dog back there?
I know how you feel about the Pafko, man. I can get my hands on a Reggie Jackson.
Hey, Pam. What's up, sugar?
Turn around, let me get a look at you. Right on, mama.
If God created anything better than you, he keeping it for his mother-Ioving self.
JIMMY: Nice seeing you. - Take care, Pam.
Let's dance. Come here.
You having a good time today?
Let's get out of here, come on. One time.
We'll go to your dad's house. In the back of the Lincoln...
- I'm glad you're in a really good mood. - Yeah, I'm in a great mood.
- I wanna ask you a little favor. - Okay.
I want you to let Roy give Ava away with you.
When the priest says, "Who gives this woman away?"
You and Roy both stand up and you say together, "We do."
Come on, that's fair. He's paying for the wedding.
Are you high?
You're gonna do this for me, Jimmy, because you owe me.
Because if you don't...
...if you ruin my daughter's wedding day for me, the way you did everything else...
...I will rip your fucking balls off.
- Hey, you. - Hey.
- You need anything, baby? - No, thanks, I'm fine.
Oh, you sure are.
- You like your necklace? - Oh, yeah, I love it.
You know there's more where that came from.
Honey, I don't want you to keep buying me things.
I love you and I forgive you.
You just need to pull that jealousy thing way back.
Thank you. And I love you.
And you look so pretty and sweet, like Bambi.
PRIEST: "The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.
He maketh me lie down in green pastures.
He leadeth me beside still waters.
He leadeth me in the path of righteousness for his namesake.
When I was a child, I spoke as a child...
...I understood as a child, I thought as a child.
But when I became man, I put away childish things.
Faith, hope, and love...
...these three. But the greatest of these is love."
And who gives this bride away?
Hey, hey, hey. Sit down. Sit down.
Stand up and I'll blow your fucking kidneys out. All right?
He should probably do it.
PRIEST: And who gives this bride away?
I do.
I love you.
[PHONE RINGS]
Hello?
- Hey, sweetie. MAN: Hi, sweetie.
So, um...
...I was thinking we could go out to dinner. MAN: Oh, dinner. Where are we going?
Could you hang on for just a sec, hon? Thanks.
- Hello? MAN [IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE]: Hello?
Is this some kind of joke?
MAN [IN DEEP VOICE]: Why? Do you like jokes?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
MAN [IN NORMAL VOICE]: Open.
- Open who? - Open the fucking bag, bitch.
Hi.
[WOMAN SCREAMING]
Yes.
[ENGLISH - US - SDH]
-=The Last Fantasy=- 荣誉出品 本字幕仅供学习交流，严禁用于商业途径
-=The Last Fantasy=- 翻译：fatalerror 校对：fatalerror
诚邀字幕翻译，做轴人员 请邮件联系tlf_subteam@hotmail.com
片名 拍档侦探
知道今天是什么日子吗？
九年，吉米，我们一起搭档九年了
九年了
有些狗甚至都活不了九年
大丹犬能养到七年算是运气了
而我们都他妈在一起九年了…
九周年快乐，吉米
- 我从不庆祝周年的 - 吉米
- 我想看看你接下来会是什么表情？ - 想看我的表情？
你将看到的是“滚你妈的”
我讨厌周年纪念，保罗
禽兽
这次准备怎么处理？
老套路，我审问，你记录
哟，你几时成老大了？
希望全警局的人都知道你是老大
这次我要演坏人
- 我表示怀疑 - 你不用怀疑
我强烈怀疑
知道为什么吗，因为你演不了
你只不过是照搬电视电影里的台词罢了
- 这可不叫演戏 - 这可不是照搬，这叫致敬
- 什么？ - 致敬
是法语里“你最好听我的”的意思
- 你真想审问这家伙？ - 没错
好吧，进去审问他吧 别他妈给我搞砸了
逼他供出他的上线是谁就出来 懂了吗？
好啦，你搞的好像这个家伙会守口如瓶
好像他是哥斯拉我是东京一样
学着点，吉米，我让你看看啥叫致敬
致敬
没法想像
致敬
- 喔，你在干什么？ - 你他妈是什么人，警察？
不不，把枪放下
条子们以为可以困住我，去死吧 我要杀光这群蠢猪
- 你有麻烦，哥们？ - 什么
- 你… - 别他妈浪费我时间！
我的天，居然演起《盗火线》里的 艾尔·帕西诺来了
- 哥们，帮我解开手铐 - 看到这把枪了吗？
是我杀了一个警察夺过来的
我还拿了他的手机
你他妈敢耍花招，我就爆了你的头
因为金刚比起我差远了！
- 哪位？ - 你又演上《训练日》了？
- 你是谁？ - 好烂的演技
管你屁事！
赶快拿到口供，然后出来…
- 我们吃饭去 - 别他妈再打来了
- 不然我就要杀人了，婊子！ - 像个“鲁本”一样
- 如果它流血了，我们就杀了它！ - 看看，这句又是啥意思？
是的，他们死有余辜 我希望他们下地狱！
- 嘿，保罗 - 干嘛
别闹了
我被12个星系判了死刑
- 《星球大战》？ - 告诉我们有关鸡的事情
- 《辛德勒名单》？ - 上帝作证，我爱哈珀
- 可他要是敢打我，我一样会杀了他 - 《紫色姐妹花》？
禁区曾经是天堂 （决战猩球）
我无处可去 （冲上云霄）
我们需要一条更大的船 （大白鲨）
- 虫汁，虫汁！（《阴间大法师》） - 全是有线电视上的东西
- 哦耶，混蛋！ - 这片子我没看过
我不会杀你，法兰克 （疤面煞星）
疤面煞星
你是什么人？
他们叫我提伯斯先生 （恶夜追缉令）
- 鲍比，来看看这个 - 他们让你干什么了？
- 毒品 - 毒品？
你这混蛋居然敢抢我地盘？
- 哦，天哪！ - 想跟我抢生意？
警察救命！
哦不，我不卖毒品的，我只是个中间人
- 给我来点 - 哥斯拉来了！
- 哥斯拉？ - 哥斯拉来了！
我们有的是失败的经历可以交流 （铁窗喋血）
你得在铁笼子里过夜了！ （铁窗喋血）
老实说亲爱的，我不在乎… （乱世佳人）
- 蝙蝠侠在哪？（蝙蝠侠） - 蝙蝠侠？你疯了，老兄，警察救命！
- 为什么你要撤退？他们从不撤退！ - 警察救命！
没有人会把婴儿扔在角落里 （辣身舞）
太烂了！
不，我发誓
他们把东西送到我的手机店 由我来转手给别人
- 然后呢？ - 就这些，我只知道这么多
- 谁送的货？ - 谁送的货？
迪亚兹，胡安·迪亚兹
这不是你要找的机器人 （星球大战）
坐下，给我坐在这里
怎么回事，这是怎么回事…？
告诉我们胡安·迪亚兹在哪 不然你就去蹲监狱吧
下次送货的时间？看着我
我原本打算和他今天下午一点见面
祝贺你，你不用坐牢了
- 你已经是白闪电的人了 - 什么？
还有我黑天雷！
一对傻屌
该进行卧底行动了，吉米
免费时间 你可以随便打给你奶奶姑姑舅舅
免费手机，免费手机！
你该用我给你妈打电话
快来看啊，快来瞧啊！
- 免费手机 - 这身行头很适合你
没人…我快无聊死了
什么情况都没有 我想打个电话给黛博拉
- 现在？工作时间？ - 现在，就现在
我感到有事发生
我们等的人出现了
你想买吗？我要是你，绝对会买
物超所值，还不快买？快来看看吧
免费时间 你可以随便打给你奶奶姑姑舅舅
快来看啊…
黑莓？
继续，没事
- 他拿了钱，吉米 - 拉尔一给你暗号…
你马上就去抓那个家伙
不，不，对不起，奇科，不！
妈的！
- 保罗，嘿，你没事吧 - 他从后门逃走了，上车
也不看看老子是谁就开枪，混蛋！
所有单位注意，所有单位注意
这里是10-34街道 发生枪战，有一人中枪倒地
嫌疑犯是西班牙裔男性 穿黑T恤蓝色牛仔裤
穿着像一只大手机的 卧底警员正徒步追赶
保罗，你在哪？
给我停下
- 你看我车的辐条怎么样？ - 警察，我要征用你的自行车
- 玩蛋去吧，手机男 - 我说过，我是警察
喂
史酷比，追他，抓住他，史酷比
我发现他了，我发现他了
妈的
别过来，疯狗
我跟上他了
恶狗，走开…
该死的
在这里开枪？
- 妈的 - 把枪放下，然后放地上滑过来
你他妈居然在月台上开枪
嘿
妈的
吉米！小心，吉米！
- 吉米 - 嘿
吉米
我在拚命骑车而你却趴在地上
门罗和霍奇斯
警察有正确的工作方式
也有错误的
还有一种就是你们两个白痴用的方式
谢谢，长官
发生了什么事，吉米？
事情搞砸了
就是这样
整件事情搞砸了，杰克
新来的这些墨西哥黑帮不守规矩，不择手段
- 他们打完枪就跑路 - 你们应该和反黑组联合行动
开玩笑，那人说的接头时间马上就到了
- 我们不得不马上采取行动 - 反黑组和组织犯罪控制科
…一直在那一带卧底，一通电话便知
- 你们俩从不注意细节 - 他们从来不回电话的
有大批墨西哥黑帮成员携带…
毒品从加拿大进入这一地区
墨西哥人先把毒品空运到加拿大 并通过多伦多入境
因为南部边境的安检严密的很
真的，他们就是这么干的，不是吗？
- 你看起来很困惑 - 是的
我们在那一片区的工作全白费了 干的好
有个好消息，长官，我们俩安然无恙
好消息是你们俩停职，停30天，没工钱
什么，不发工钱，搞什么，杰克？
- 造成线人死亡，在社区开枪… - 你开玩笑吧？
- 我有你们俩闯祸的证据 - 我们没有…
有个笨蛋被人拍下打了一个孩子 并抢了他的自行车
那个笨蛋差点中枪，你打孩子了？
- 我需要用他的自行车 - 你自己上YouTube看吧
- 真的？传到YouTube了？ - 嗯，你立功了
- 有多少点击量？ - 起码有两个人看过了
局长和副局长
你们的停职命令立刻生效，滚吧
杰克，你还记得艾娃吧？
- 我女儿，艾娃，还记得吗？ - 我记得，吉米
你参加过她的洗礼的
她六个星期后就要结婚了
我得赚点钱给她操办婚礼
- 关我鸟事 - 你不管？
我管你怎么办，交出警徽和枪
- 杰克 - 警徽和枪，我再说一遍
- 要我求你吗，那我就求你 - 交出来
你听清楚我的话了，吉米
老天，杰克
好，好
- 长官，你真是铁石心肠 - 出去
- 早该扯掉这身制服了 - 也许我被一只斗犬给咬了
你以为人跑得过车？
- 你可不是无敌金刚 - 我是被车撞了
油门在右，刹车在左
被车撞了？别来责怪我
- 去你的 - 去你的
去你的
- 你们俩可真棒 - 有天赋
轻易就这么毁了我们一个月的卧底工作…
真是愚蠢透了
我们盯上的每一个毒贩都跑掉了…
当你们枪战的时候
你们去看看别人的工作安排
你打电话问问，你们破坏了别人的工作
我讨厌上班时候来电话
我接个电话，很抱歉，喂？
- 吉米，近来可好啊 - 嗨
- 是我，保罗 - 什么事
看见站在我们前面的两个人了吗
曼戈尔德和韩塞克
你有没有觉得韩塞克很娘？
你得看看他们老婆
韩塞克，他老婆有3颗牙 其中两颗还放在口袋里
- 噢！ - 她还有个奶子没奶头
有人还拍过关于这小俩口的电影
- 凯文·科斯特纳和罗伯特·德尼罗主演的 - 片名叫啥？
- 《不可嘿咻》 - 《不可嘿咻》，我喜欢这部电影
说真的，我喜欢这个点子，让凯文·科斯特纳 和罗伯特·德尼罗演我们俩
- 是啊 - 曼戈尔德的老婆很不幸福
她说他包皮过长
- 嘿 - 可真会造谣啊
我很想再谈谈这两个人的事 但我还有事
- 有意思的事，再见 - 再见
对不起，一些无关的事 刚才说到哪了？
你杀了那个告密的是明智的
很高兴你没事
还记得教我们5年级的老师特丽莎吗？
她人那么好，不该去当修女
她人很好
还教我怎么扔棒球
那几个白痴还没把我的奔驰开回来
等车到我手里…
我就能得到那个死人的供货渠道和银行账户…
我们就能把生意扩展到布鲁克林区以外了
扩展到整个东海岸
到那时…
我们买只棒球队，胡安
对不起，普博尔
海克特和塔帕斯开了一整夜 停车去加油
他们出来的时候…
车就被偷了
是你让我雇用这两个人的
你说车在他们手里是安全的
我要亲自处罚塔帕斯和海克特
宽恕我，上帝…
为我即将要犯下的罪
我能把警笛放到车顶吗？
- 不行 - 你让我不开心
妈的
我没脸进去说我被停职了
你不用说
这是我的爱抢，吉米，小心保管
谢谢，保罗
- 你怎么有这么多警徽？ - 我经常弄丢
保罗叔叔
宝贝，你好啊
你要结婚了，是吗？你要结婚了
- 帕梅拉，你真美 - 你好，保罗
- 爸爸 - 天哪，看看，你真美
- 你真美，乖女 - 谢谢
- 我都认不出你了，你都要结婚了 - 我要结婚了
我都不敢相信，我得走了，对不起
但我爱你就像狗熊爱蜂蜜
要是谈到这事，我有办法
- 再见 - 我爱你
- 我也爱你 - 好
来吧，跟我说说，我很期待
- 事情进行地怎么样？ - 是的
- 很期待？ - 是的
- 仍然决定结婚？ - 是的
- 记住我说过的话，好吗？ - 他打算举行…
- 盛大的游行 - 请一流的乐队
- 什么乐队？ - 处女乐队
他们很抢手的
所以我们得预付订金把事情定下来
- 让我看看单子 - 实际上还算便宜啦
是啊
看看单子上的东西 你会觉得价格并不高
不高
吉米…
我知道4万8千美元看起来有点多，但…
对于一场梦想中的婚礼来说这并不算多
要是你同意的话…
我很愿意为艾娃这么做
做什么，罗伊？
出钱办婚礼啊，吉米
你可真大方
- 能让我们俩单独谈谈吗？ - 爸爸
- 吉米 - 我们只是谈谈
- 我们都没怎么谈过 - 没事的
- 去吧台喝点酒吧 - 友好一点
给你妈也来一杯，看看她，太紧张了
- 你要喝什么？ - 苏格兰威士忌
朗姆酒？好
- 给你继父来杯加冰朗姆酒 - 没关系
- 我只要一杯水 - 好的，爸爸
- 你真漂亮，真的 - 谢谢
你们俩都很漂亮
你知道我是警察
我是纽约警察局的
他们发给我一把装着子弹的枪
我每天出去，追坏人，抓坏人
我抓各种各样的坏人
强奸犯，毒贩，小偷
但你知道最坏的是哪种吗？
就是那种想当着他宝贝女儿的面羞辱…
他亲生父亲的人
当着他的小女孩
- 说完了？ - 说完了
- 说的很好 - 谢谢
听着，吉米 艾娃就像是我自己的女儿一样
她不是你女儿，而是我女儿
所以我刚才说“像一个女儿”
我的职责…
就是让她和帕梅拉能得到 她们想要的任何东西
我是第二任丈夫
为了能让艾娃快乐，5万美元…
对我来说根本不算什么
这只是我在赌城一个周末的花销罢了
要是你付不起这钱…
那么我来
一个事业无成的前夫…
从没付过任何抚养费…
一直由我在支付，顺便一提，不用谢
独生女结婚还没钱办婚礼
对我来说，这才是坏人
你大可继续…
怀着你对纽约市民的伟大承诺
用你的枪…
找个地方自杀算了，正义急先锋
- 爸爸，我能和你谈谈吗？ - 当然可以
失陪了，罗伊
混蛋
不用非要给我举办隆重的婚礼 如果花费很大的话
我们邀几个好朋友 举行个简单的仪式就好
宝贝，过来，这怎么可以？
你一直期待这场婚礼
隆重的婚礼 请所有的朋友，每个人都来
你妈也会很高兴的
你放心吧，好吗？
- 真的？ - 真的
- 你能肯定吗？ - 当然
我真的想举行一场隆重的婚礼
你会的，我不是说了吗？
别听这个傻瓜乱说
- 他在看着我吗？ - 嗯
让他去死
怎么回事？
这是怎么…
混蛋…
大艾尔，你好吗？我是吉米·门罗
听着 我想把这张安迪·帕克的棒球卡卖了
你看看能不能帮我找个买主，好吗？
早上好，黛博拉
早上好，保罗
这是昨晚你喝的吗？
被你逮到了，保罗
我在庆祝终于不用再吃拉面了
我忘了
每天吃面条，每个小时，这你都能忘？
不要转移话题
这瓶香槟你一个人喝掉的？
不是，有人帮忙
- 谁？ - 亨利
- 亨利？ - 亨利
- 我们的隔壁邻居？ - 没错
我们俩的庆祝关他什么事啊？
我们的庆祝？你都根本没来
我不会有下次了，好吗？
- 保罗 - 可是，宝贝，你是我漂亮的小心肝
- 我不放心 - 嫁给你我很满足了
我爱你并且嫁给你，因为你幽默又聪明
还有我的口技
扯远了，与这点无关
你根本没必要吃亨利或谁的醋，好吗？
我是你的，你得相信这一点
你知道我就像实验室的猴子 把一切都给了你
- 这是啥比喻？ - 你能把你给我吗？
我爱你，宝贝
嗨
嗨，亨利
我去洗个澡，晚上见
帮我看着，小熊
盒子里是什么东西？
我要把Pafko卖了
我听说过，我知道
- 我在撒谎，什么是Pafko？ - 是一张棒球卡
棒球卡？
- 吉米，听着，如果你需要20块，我有… - 白痴，我不需要20块钱
我卖掉它是为了给我女儿办喜事
它值多少钱？
这张是钻石10级的Andy Pafko
1952年，托普斯公司推出了第一批棒球卡…
Andy Pafko是这一套卡中的第一张
孩子们都喜欢收集卡片，不是吗？
他们把卡片叠在一起，用橡皮筋绑起来
我爸爸…
从不在卡片上绑橡皮筋
他喜欢这张卡
一直珍藏着
4，5年前，这种卡片曾经拍卖到8万3千美元
能卖8万3千美元？
是的，我女儿的婚礼要花4万8千美元
这下你要发财了，吉米
是的，要是能卖到8万美元的话
我就是砸锅卖铁，也不能在这事上…
- 输给罗伊那个混蛋 - 没错
我不进去了，我要打个电话给黛博拉
好吧
大艾尔
门罗先生
- 这就是那张卡吗？那张Pafko？ - 没错
我刚和一个买主通过电话，他想买
我还要鉴定一下，能取出来吗？
- 你是说鉴定这张卡，对吗？ - 这个月我不去工作了
我要回家陪你 我们要好好享受二人世界
小心边缘，要不这么取…
- 把抽屉打开，打开 - 可是…
戴夫，我们要不要抢点卡片？
把面罩戴回去
我真名不叫戴夫，所以他这么叫
捡那种旧卡片拿，他会出高价的
保罗，保罗
- 保罗，妈的 - 我想让你怀孕
我们的女儿会有11磅重
穿着尿不湿在房子里爬来爬去
- 这个人有枪 - 什么？
我是警察
- 噢！ - 现在我才是警察
我想见到你，我想和你在一起
现在就开始
嘿！
- 嘿！ - 吉米，我正打电话
门罗先生…
我们是警察，我们来给你提供帮助
现在你是受害人，明白了？
我没时间听你们废话
喔，喔
基于他现在的精神状况 你觉得我们应该怎么做
我们给他做个精神评估 我们要带你去贝尔维尤…
给你做个检查
做笔录需要，问你一下…
你的收藏爱好，是什么时候开始的？
那么，嫌疑犯有什么特征吗？
没有
7桩抢劫案，都是类似的作案手法
全都发生在皇后区 其中5件发生在法洛克威
这让我想到，也许罪犯…
是在附近街区某家店做的纹身
下面是我天才的想法，听着 说出来别吓着你
我妈以前对朋友经常说
“我儿子是天才，他是天才”
我给抢劫地点附近的纹身店都打了电话…
有个人说他曾给某人…
在小臂上做过卡通狗冲浪的纹身
啊！干嘛？
他的小臂上纹的是 一个卡通狗冲浪的纹身
告诉我搭档那个戴夫是谁…
不然他就在你脸上纹两只独角兽
- 快说 - 戴夫欠我钱
他说今晚偷一户人家后就还我钱
是洛克威海滩上的一处房子
我就知道这些
我一直给她打电话，她去哪了？
放轻松
凌晨4点15的电话她也不接？
问问任何一个警察，他老婆的电话肯定 都是放在枕头边的…
以便有急事时联系 她可能和那个亨利在一起
我不想听你胡说八道了
天哪
- 这个叫亨利的是谁？ - 他是我们的邻居
每天早上黛博拉倒垃圾的时候…
他也会“碰巧”倒垃圾
“哦，黛博拉，你真是美极了”
“到我家来玩吧”
“真的？他整晚都要工作？”
“11点钟左右上我家来吧”
“让他拚命干活去吧，我们来嘿咻”
- 嘿咻？ - 这个该死的四眼混蛋
- 我现在就打给她 - 还给我，把手机还我
- 还给我，吉米，还给我 - 不给
受不了你整天疑神疑鬼的
- 我都要烦死了 - 我保证不会打给他了
你要是不打，你也就用不找了
- 还给我，吉米 - 我不打了
放手，我发誓…
- 你最好放开 - 还给我
- 还我手机 - 趴下
趴下…现在你高兴了？
老天，还怎么还这么孩子气
哦
喔，喔，喔
- 怎么了？发生什么事？ - 那是啥？看看
- 难以置信 - 让我看看
他上屋顶了，这是在搞什么？
这叫跑酷
是一种法国功夫 主要内容是让人绕圈跑，上窜下跳
你是维基百科？
- 望远镜进沙子了 - 因为你把它放我脸上了
我们看不到他了，等等吧
- 哦，哥们 - 怎么了？
- 没开玩笑吧 - 怎么了？
他在房间里拉屎，看 楼上，亮灯的地方
我操，他在房里拉屎
你说哪种人会在偷窃的房子里拉屎？
我不知道，哪种人会在这种关头拉屎？
我只在家里拉屎
我会憋它个几小时再拉
不过拉的时候，就要爆了
一条褐色大鲨鱼出洞了
我拉屎创过纪录的
我把卫生间拉得到处都是
还有浴室
有时候拉得太猛…
隔壁邻居会出来说，勇士，出来玩吧
哦，老天
- 什么？ - 我们有麻烦了
房子主人回来了，来
“你的基地都是我们的了” 什么东西？
日本人制作的一个电视游戏 他们不会讲英语
- 这实在是怪异了 - 嗨，女士
- 干什么？ - 我们是纽约警察局的，你能过来一下吗？
怎么了？我们蹲下来干吗？
我是霍奇斯警探，这位是门罗警探
- 有人闯进了你家 - 什么？
他还在里面 我们希望你带着你的儿子…
去街对面你邻居家 等我们去接你们，好吗？
我哪也不去 我要亲自去收拾这个杂种
喔，夫人，你得马上把枪收起来
不，去你妈的，我哪也不去
我告诉你，有人正在偷我东西 我工作太他妈的的辛苦了
- 你要杀人了吗，夫人？ - 他妈的当然了
- 夫人，请你把枪放下 - 不可能，我知道我有这个权利
夫人，马上把那他妈的枪放下
带上你儿子穿过他妈的街去对面你邻居家…
在那待着别动直到我们去接你们
真他妈疯了
你们别把我的家具弄坏了 那可是意大利订做的
吉米
妈的
你刚才从楼梯摔下来了？
- 没有 - 开枪，吉米
- 他摸我胸 - 把枪放下
- 我不是有意的，我只不过是紧张 - 别动，保罗
请转告黛博拉，我爱她
- 谁是黛博拉？ - 我老婆
- 把你的手从他胸部拿开 - 杀了他，吉米
放了他，不然第二枪就打你头
- 把枪扔地上 - 不，不行
这可是崭新的斑木地板，笨蛋
给我
给你，没用的家伙
混蛋，进门前也不先把鞋上的泥蹭掉
蠢猪
普博尔
我们能把车给找回来
嘘
胡安
大奔里面的东西对我非常非常重要
谁找回车就赏5千美元
喔，兄弟，你能相信吗？
那娘们差点把我爆头，摸摸我的脉搏
好险啊，好险
你们也在场，亲眼所见
闭嘴，我在打电话
好吧，我不说话，对了
我刚才在找奶酪，能停车买点奶酪吗？
听好，笨贼 我现在只想知道我的棒球卡在哪
我搭档的枪在哪
- 你的什么？ - 我的棒球卡
为什么问我棒球卡？
想起来了，伙计，我用电击枪电过你
喂，被电的时候你有没有大便失禁？
我电过我自己，比如有一天晚上 我电了自己5次，一次也没拉裤子
只是出来了点屎头，就像这样
就像这样 并没有像我想的那样拉出来
- 又没人接 - 你给谁打电话？你老婆？
- 现在才6点钟，她也许还在睡 - 也许她正在和别的男人亲热…
所以她不接电话
你丫给我坐后面，把嘴闭上
嘿，你才闭嘴 能告诉我你老婆的电话吗？
哦，我知道了
你一直想着这事，这会把你逼疯的
我知道，可是这家伙老是提起
也许你老婆得了CCD病
- 什么是CCD？ - 恋屌症
就是渴望鸡鸡 渴望任何一个男人的鸡鸡
也许她正在玩DP呢
- 就是3P - 什么？
他说“3P”
- 闭嘴 - 你要开枪打我吗？
- 我要爆你头 - 爆你头
什么？你他妈…给我闭嘴
- 闭嘴 - 闭嘴
别重复我的话
别重复…
闭嘴，你看看他，吉米
闭嘴
吉米，看见没？
- 他想在这里作威作福 - 别惹我
- 闭嘴 - 好吧
- 闭嘴 - 闭嘴
别复读我的话
- 闭嘴 - 闭嘴
- 别出声 - 别出声
- 鸭子季节 - 兔子季节
- 拜托 - 你看到了吧，吉米
- 吉米 - 把这个混蛋扔出去…
我们都冷静一下
你很生气，你很累，而我横竖要去监狱 我们都冷静一下，好吗？
笃，笃
吉米，不要理他
不要
- 看在我们搭档一场，不要 - 要
- 我们搭档9年 - 要
- 不要，吉米 - 要
- 吉米，不要 - 要，要
谁在说话
- 你为什么这么做，吉米？为什么 - 谢谢你
为什么？为了羞辱我？
- 橘子 - 干嘛？
不，不，嗯，嗯
不，不
不，不，不
不
不，不
我拒绝…不，不
橘子谁，妈的
你老婆被别的男人搞的时候塞进去的
我要杀了你，混蛋…
你得告诉我我的棒球卡在哪
- 还有我的枪 - 你们太霸道了
就这样
出来，你这个变态
我出来了哟
- 噢 - 你敢逃跑…
我就开枪打死你
这是警察暴力
暴力的还在后头
- 你干什么？ - 好了，给你最后一次机会
- 告诉我棒球卡在哪 - 好吧，好吧
你的棒球卡，它在…
保罗老婆的阴道里
- 我们搞死他，吉米 - 至少我们试过了，哦？
- 很高兴认识你 - 你太会嚼舌了
- 吉米，你看到了吧…
人类最快能跑多快？
不知道，我们来破个纪录
抓紧了
喔，喔，喔
操，我的鸡鸡，我的蛋蛋！
哦，妈妈
好一次冲锋
你们可真会玩
想继续吗？
我开玩笑的 我只是在装吊，我不想再玩了
我卖了你的枪和棒球卡来买8个球…
以及一些“墨斯卡灵” 和“狂喜”还有…
你把我的棒球卡换毒品了？
- 没错 - 你卖给谁了？
- 我不知道，我不知道他叫什么 - 他对我们很小气
你说把他放高速公路上怎么样，吉米？
不好，我们再玩一次
不不，我不认识他，好吗？
他就像夜魔，他是幽灵，你看不见他
名字
别这样，我不知道他的名字
- 他每次派不同的小孩… - 名字
你赢了
普博尔
他用普博尔这个名字
伙计们，今天天气不错，不是吗？
你相信这个，去你的，你私闯民宅
你真像个漫画人物
一个缺少爱的小孩
这会给你温暖
我不是小孩，你才是 快点走开，蠢猪
- 喔，看见没？ - 没错，手机男
知道我有多少点击量吗？
有这么多，你们要是不…
我会用你们来增加点击量
我们想知道普博尔在哪
不要说，不要
- 谁？ - 普博尔在哪？
- 他说的是法语 - 哦
好吧，皮埃尔，%^&*(
#$%^&，混蛋
我们要进去了，快
老天
他一定拿了你的卡
喜欢我的钻石拱顶吗？
棒球就是在钻石上玩的，明白吗？
谁用三明治给你取的名？
你爸还是你妈？
有什么能为你们效劳的吗，警官？
我想要回我的棒球卡
- 那卡长啥样？ - 别在我们面前彪戏
别在我家大声说话
如果确实有这么一张卡的话…
你知道，它很容易损坏的哦
- 那么就是在你这了 - 我可没这么说
如果在某个你们的人手上呢？
我们还要拐弯抹角吗？
好吧，你们准备拿什么条件换？
我们逮捕你怎么样？
你家着火怎么样？
要是你的卡…
不小心掉进垃圾处理器怎么样？
这个假设最可怕吧
你要什么条件？
条件，不如说是帮忙吧
- 非法的不行 - 不会
有人偷了我的车，警官
这辆车对我有特别的价值
我要你做的只是你们警察分内的事…
找回我的车
- 那么就是车换卡 - 如果你能找回车…
那么这张卡或许会回到你手里
- 安安全全的 - 算了吧
把卡片还给我们，不然就对你不客气
小心点，弟兄们
喜欢吗？我们排练了1小时了
开枪啊，继续，说不定能打中我
那么…
你的车是什么样的？
他们就是手机店的那两个人？
我考虑过风险了，兄弟，我需要那辆车
你跟着他们
你知道吗，侏儒黑猩猩…
是除人类外唯一有口交行为的灵长类动物？
你怎么会有时间看动物星球？
我每天25小时和你在一起
我得充电，好吗？
你净学一些没用的东西
我可不喜欢看电视真人秀 那是好莱坞的垃圾
我也讨厌，你说的没错，都是垃圾
我更喜欢看猩猩嘿咻
你说的对
我们走吧
这家伙是布鲁克林最大的汽车盗贼
我们小心点
你们刮到我的车了
- 你干吗，小子？ - 我在开车，混蛋
- 下车 - 因为我是黑人？
- 不，是因为你只有10岁 - 是11岁
- 下车 - 我有系安全带
下车，你这个小混蛋
操
我们想知道几天前晚上在小超市后面 被偷的大奔的情况
我不告诉你，你拿我没办法，我未成年
你也去死吧，混蛋
小伙子火气很大嘛
- 别妨碍我做事，混蛋 - 这车是谁的？
- 你妈妈的 - 你妈妈…
- 怎样？ - 我要狠狠抽你一巴掌
- 你拿我没办法 - 告诉我们被偷的大奔的事
- 我就不告诉你 - 你要是不说…
混蛋
你小心点
保罗，你刚才打了这小孩一拳？
你不了解，被小孩踢到蛋蛋也是很疼的
好了，我们走吧，我要把你扔河里
- 受够了，我们走 - 告诉我们车的事
- 去死 - 我希望你会游泳
也许…
我应该告诉你妈妈你做的事
- 不要，她会打我屁股的 - 跟我们说奔驰车的事
不是我干的，但我知道是谁偷的 他们把车卖给了一个律师
- 你没事吧？ - 哎哟
- 告诉我名字 - 卡帕诺斯基或是什么
他是俄国人，我可以给你地址 只要你别把我送回家
查到地址了
我的手机比你的好
穷鬼
喔，舌头被割了
肯定是拉丁黑帮干的
他们喜欢把舌头割下来，这样你死后…
就不能向耶稣忏悔了
这些是什么人？ 萨尔瓦多人？洪都拉斯人？
鲁德尔的靴子，这说明他们是墨西哥人
做工精良，高跟 用珍稀动物的皮革做的
- 这次是双海龟皮的 - 你是怎么知道的？
我很懂靴子的
- 这靴子很好 - 谢谢
我也想搞一双了
- 不，这种靴子不太适合你 - 别胡说
我问你个问题，你说实话
你觉得这靴子多大码？我是10号的
你最好不要…
不要穿死人的靴子
这是个操蛋的世界
对不起，谢谢你
我们来调查一下这些人是怎么来这里的
先生们
我还是不明白他是 怎么做到让公鸡弹钢琴的
他只是把鸡食放在琴键上让鸡去啄…
这样就能弹了
- 没那么复杂 - 我要演坏人
不行，上次你全演砸了
胡说，我演的很好
我一直在彪演技 那不是表演
那是致敬
- 我要演坏人 - 不行
不行
吉米，你这混蛋
你干什么？不，不要
喂，你是律师吗？ 喂，你是律师吗？
过来
- 你过来 - 别杀我
抓她吧，抓她
她更值钱，她不会叫
- 把枪放下 - 我是警察
- 我是人质谈判专家，我是警察 - 把枪放下
市民，离那个罪犯远点
- 别过来，警察 - 冷静，朋友
冷静
- 冷静 - 冷静，朋友
- 冷静 - 冷静…
- 闭嘴 - 冷静，别发火…
我已经杀了11个人了 再杀几个我也不在乎
11个人？我是律师，我可以为你辩护 这是我的名片
别伤人，我们不想任何人受伤 冷静，哥们
- 车钥匙在哪？ - 车钥匙？
是的，我需要一辆车，我要离开这里
- 冷静，冷静 - 没有车，我把老婆给你
去拿车钥匙
我是你朋友，听着，我是你朋友
- 你违反了第五法则 - 你说什么呢
我在演机械战警，你要入戏
- 过来好吗？ - 你得入戏
出来，出来
知道吗？你真是糟糕的警察
- 你的车呢？ - 在车库里，边上，车库里
- 好了，我要带她走 - 嘿，带我吧
带我走，这是我的枪
我理解你的痛苦，我理解你
- 好吧，我带警察走 - 好
这才是表演 我是梅尔·他妈的·史特里普
- 完全入戏，完全让人心服口服的 - 你的表现很糟糕
11个人？你今天杀了11个人？ 还有，你为什么扇我耳光？
那个时候…
- 那个时候就该扇你 - 你不能老是…
天啊
- 这些人是谁？ - 是手机店的那些人
妈的…
糟糕
这是…
公墓？你可真行啊，保罗
我们只要跳出车…
- 就能直接进坟墓了 - 跳吧
稳住
- 搞死他们 - 妈的
大显身手的时候到了
好
- 这辆车很受关注啊 - 我们查查看是什么原因
喔，喔
别怕，别怕
你没事吧？
等等
你看，警察，保罗，警察
- 保罗，吉米 - 虾米？
加芙列拉
加芙列拉？
加芙列拉
我们给她找个洗手间
别怕，没事了 别怕
你跟丢了大奔
弄丢了那个女人
还害死了胡安，我的弟弟
怎么？
5千美元还不够是吧？还要我再加吗？
那就2万
不管这两人把她带到哪…
我都要知道
我来点辣萝卜和鳄梨酱
怎么？吃饭有什么不对吗？
春卷加碎牛肉
我不吃，曼纽尔，我需要你帮个忙
好的，吉米
- 辣菜 - 不只给我的，大家都吃
听着，曼纽尔…
曼纽尔，这位是加比萝萝，加比萝萝
她遇到了麻烦
你把她的遭遇翻译给我们听 同时告诉她我们是来帮助她的
但我们要先知道她遇到了什么事
好，没问题
她很害怕
我们要找个私密的地方谈，马上
- 好 - 我们走
是的，好极了…
有发现了，雷，大发现
我要让你大吃…
- 一惊 - 好的，我很感谢
好，再见
- 对不起，你刚才说什么 - 弹道匹配上了
嗯哼
那个墓地里死掉的黑帮成员的枪
- 就是这把 - 看看
- 这把枪… - 这是一把枪
- 在袋子里 - 它正是…
- 警探保罗的 - 霍奇斯
你怎么知道的？你整天都待在浴室里
看我找到了什么，一张这个小丑的照片
加芙列拉是墨西哥最大的毒枭的情妇
- 被杀的那个？ - 她正准备去找警察…
他们想到她家去杀她
结果杀了她妹妹
她弟弟花钱找人把她弄出境
蛇头在她越境的时候出卖了她
几个男人把她绑架到一架飞机上
然后把她放在一辆车的后备箱两天
剩下的你们都知道了
我马上回来
给我拿件衬衫，好吗？
我女儿要结婚了
那家伙叫罗纳德
他对她很好，他对我女儿很好
我女儿出生时，她做的第一件事…
竟然是对我眨眼睛，你能想像吗？
一个婴儿做这个动作？
她想告诉我，让我放心
她从未让我操心，甚至是我离婚的时候
不让我为难，她真是一个懂事的孩子
真的…
我只想让她幸福
她妈妈觉得我是个混蛋，她恨我
这就是我一定要拿回这张棒球卡的原因
我一定…
这一次，我一定要做一件正确的事…
给我女儿一个她梦想中的婚礼
这样我就不那么像一个混蛋了
你知道我在说什么吗？
虾米
好吧
你拿了几把枪？
这是我秘密放在卧室的保姆摄影机
我没勇气去看，你帮我看一下
不
没…他妈的…门
- 拜托了，吉米 - 我不会看的
你疯了，保罗
你老婆那么爱你
你却把摄影机放她卧室，你真是疯了
我告诉你，我不会看的
不
- 求你了 - 不
求你了
别给我看
嘿，你别多管闲事，好吗？
- 你都不知道她说什么 - 你也不知道，把熊给我放下
你知道她说什么了吗？
她说“求你了，吉米”
“求你看看上面录了什么”
“我的主人心里很受伤”
- “求你了” - 你真是疯了
你疯了
我会为此而后悔的，我知道
- 里面什么也没有 - 好
- 好，好，真他妈… - 给
拿着你的熊，放回袋子里去
- 我们现在能走了吗？ - 好
嘿，多谢了，老友
是我在联邦调查局的朋友
他说他能帮忙 不过他要过24小时才能到
他来之前，我们来看着她然后等着吧
我的棒球卡就这么没了？
- 吉米，忘掉那张卡吧 - 我能不管艾娃的婚礼吗？
你知道我一直想给她一个她梦想的婚礼 可现在…
- 我得盯着确保加芙列拉安全 - 我就不是吗？
你现在一张口就是“我的卡，我的卡”
吉米，我们还没完呢
- 嗯 - 吉米，我是韩塞克…
- 还有贝瑞·曼戈尔德 - 我也在，兄弟 - 很好，你知道现在几点了吗？
听着，我们从一个凶手身上找到一把枪
上路了啊，大侦探
是你搭档的枪，我们知道保罗有问题
20分钟后拉德酒吧见
好
你要去找你的卡了，对吧？
- 这事我得一个人去，保罗 - 真是的，吉米
让罗伊和帕梅拉掏钱办婚礼 艾娃一样会开心的
- 待在这里看着她 - 万一普博尔派人盯上你了怎么办？
我不能让你威胁到她的安全
你要么留在这里，要么别回来
- 不知道你在说什么，保罗 - 嘿，吉米
- 他来了 - 他必须得来
已经过了你的睡觉时间了哟，曼戈尔德
- 得了吧 - 好了，谢谢你能来，吉米
有件事得请你帮个忙
我想问问你知不知道…
你搭档的枪曾被用来 袭击过一个墨西哥罪犯
他在装
保罗的手枪…
在死掉的胡安·迪亚兹手上
你也许还记得 胡安就是手机店里开枪的那个人
- 他有个哥哥 - 普博尔
很有意思的名字
他叫普博尔，他想扩张他的毒品生意
他在寻找任何可能的帮助
其中也包括警方
我们只想知道你是否意识到…
你搭档使你陷入的处境
帮我们就是帮你自己 就把我们当成你的日记吧
你们俩是不是在扮演警察和小偷啊
拿着枪，戴着警徽…
还穿着可爱的小靴子
其实根本不知道什么状况
你们要是胆敢再挑拨我和搭档的关系 有你们好看的
先收拾你
别这么蠢
嗨
我得告诉你一件事
和你在一起感觉真好 但我们之间有缘无分
我结婚了，我爱我老婆
我对你有感觉
并不是我不想发生点什么
你这么美丽迷人
砰-砰（做爱）时估计更骚
砰-砰？
是的，但我不会碰你
希望你自重
嘿，嘿，等一下，怎么了？
我只是随便说说，不是来真的
不，我不能和你一起洗
你要去洗澡
不要那样看着我
你只是一只熊，闭嘴
不
不，黛博拉，不
迪亚兹
迪亚兹，D-I-A…
好，谢谢你，阿里
好，谢谢
谢谢，老友，保重
喂,喂？
喂？把你吵醒了吗？
我想问问迪亚兹葬礼的事
是的，胡安·迪亚兹 没错，胡安·迪亚兹
什么时间？
好，2点半，谢谢
很抱歉把你吵醒了，晚安，做个好梦
- 阿里，回头见 - 别惹麻烦
是我，那个女孩呢？
她在洗澡
你刚才哭过？
我看了录像了
真希望你没看到
我只是不忍心让你知道
我也经历过这种事
罗伊？
嗯
过来，哥们
- 看起来你需要一个拥抱 - 喔，这你可真误会了
- 我比较脆弱 - 她进去多久了？
不知道，我们不再闹矛盾了吧？
你还在读5年级吗？你是我搭档
她进去多久了？ 嘿，开门，我要进来了
加芙列拉，披上浴巾，好吗？ 我要进来了…
怎么回事？ 你真是个好警察，出色极了
- 我还要抓着她的手不成？ - 你不该让她从窗户爬出去
你没听见动静吗？在床上睡着了吧？
没有
给，你懂西班牙语
- 我只知道“peligro”什么意思 - 什么意思？
波多黎各人管企鹅叫“peligro”
什么？我们…
喔
这东西…
- 能插电脑上 - 插电脑上
在公墓里撞到墓碑死掉的那个黑帮
- 普博尔的弟弟 - 这又怎么样？
曼戈尔德和韩塞克把 这两件事联系在了一起
因为枪在他手上我就成了坏人了？ 真乱来
嘿
警察，我们要用下你的电脑
我做不了主，我只是个夜班经理…
对于这种事，我要得到总经理的批准
把这个翻译一下，用你受过的高等教育 好吗？谢谢，你好吗？
- 你是干什么的？ - 打扫房间的
她是钟点工，按小时收费的钟点工
- 吉米，来看看 - 什么
现在我不急了
看起来应该是她男朋友的 银行账户和供货商
这足以让普博尔成为纽约的毒品之王
乖乖隆滴咚
7亿5千万美元，或是70亿比索 无论哪个…
知道我怎么想的吗？ 普博尔要的不是加芙列拉
- 他只是想要这个随身碟 - 没错
她很担心你，纸条上这么写的
“我给你带来了危险 你不能因我而死”
“谢谢你的帮助 你就像巧克力一样甜”
我觉得她应该说的是…
你
我已经通知全境搜索加芙列拉
趁普博尔参加他弟弟的葬礼，我们还有…
- 一小时去他家拿回我的卡 - 我们怎么进去？
- 你不是很健谈啊，达奈尔 - 你能闭嘴吗
我就是一朵，天生的交际花，知道吗？
喂
想不想做我的狱中好友？不搞基的那种
你没看到我在想重要的事情吗？
- 你没看到我在想… - 警卫
警卫
- 警卫 - 警卫
- 滚开… - 滚开…
- 嘿… - 嘿…
你想惹我？
你想惹…
滚开…
我要去你那边然后…
你是想…
没错，混蛋
好吧，我可喜欢干这事啦
我喜欢演双簧，我还会玩跑酷
这是我身上的两个优点，知道吗？
和我说说话，告诉我，我想了解你
来吧，哥们，我想了解你，达奈尔
你喜欢啥？你是做什么的？ 你是作什么的？
我想了解你
我想了解你，你知道吗？
你怎么了？告诉我
- 我喜欢织毛衣 - 什么？
- 不可能 - 是的
- 不是吧 - 没错，我喜欢织毛衣
- 不，你不会的 - 是的，我会
我能织出一件又大又漂亮的毛衣
嘿，白痴
有人来保释你了
- 是吗？ - 哪个笨蛋瞎狗眼了保释他？
小子，你要爬进2楼的窗户里去
知道了，二楼窗户，没问题
我们只有30到40分钟时间 只有这段时间没人
你进去后到2楼他藏钻石的地方
他也许把卡放在那
比给保罗的老婆按摩全身容易
从上到下
他说从上到下
喂，这可不好笑
- 她老婆有外遇 - 你说什么？
- 不 - 是的
不
不，为什么女人都这样？
哦，我感到很抱歉
你打算怎么处理，保罗？从情感上
我不知道
嘿
不要放弃真爱，保罗，听见了吗？
- 不要放弃真爱，好吗？ - 我就要放弃了
- 别放弃 - 不，我不会放弃
- 因为爱能鼓舞人心，知道吗？ - 是的
- 你充满了爱，你不会有事的 - 爱
- 充满爱 - 是的
- 满满一大袋的爱，是的 - 我看的出来
你知道吗，大卫？
你刚才的话感动了我，这话题很沉重
- 你知道我想到哪吗？ - 哪？
- 当我做我喜欢做的事情的时候 - 比如在别人车里拉屎？
- 吉米，别这样 - 什么？
是我在洛克威海滩看日落的时候
那是我最喜欢做的事情 那是最美的景象
- 我喜欢日落 - 不，你不喜欢
- 我喜欢 - 你不喜欢
- 有时间过来一起看日落啊？认真地说 - 好啊
嘿，嘿，坐回去
嘿
什么？
- 什么？ - 嗯，嗯
- 对不对？ - 什么？
你去吧
又说悄悄话
- 他会更多跑酷动作吗？ - 他是个专家
- 我怎么说的，看到了吧？ - 嘿，保罗
糟糕
不！
我的卡
- 他不动了 - 跳进去，检查他的脉搏
我才不进去
- 你不打算帮忙？ - 那是你的棒球卡
他是你的朋友，你们刚才还在车里亲热
这不等于我就要跳进去啊
你一点忙也帮不上，保罗
- 我感觉不到脉搏 - 你摸对地方了吗？
- 当然摸对了地方，他肯定是死了 - 他不可能死
- 妈的，我还指望这小子呢 - 他就像个小天使
我们怎么处理他？
- 我们把他扔垃圾箱吧 - 什么？不
他不可以像垃圾一样可以随便丢掉 他是我朋友
- 马上回来 - 你去哪？
- 去找我的卡 - 你疯了？
我们得趁他们还没回来赶快离开…
我们还得找加芙列拉呢
还有20分钟时间 我来得及的，托我一下
托你？不，我才不托你
向上推我的脚
- 什么？ - 我要站在你头上
站着别动，好吗？
别踩我头上，你踩到我额头了，吉米
看看
看个屁，赶快去找卡，趁他们还没回来
说
我们抓到她了
她藏在她叔叔家
好结实的肌肉
哦
- 我去拿套套 - 好
嗨，保罗
我发现了你的摄影镜头 这就是你想要的？
还记得我的同性恋表弟艾瑞克吗？
你好啊
那是她同性恋表弟
去死吧，保罗，你怎么能不信任我
相信她，混蛋
那是她同性恋表弟
我在家整天担心你
你却这么对我？我爱你
那是她同性恋表弟
那是她同性恋表弟，看清楚了？混蛋
那是她同性恋表弟，那是她同性恋表弟
妈的
- 保罗，现在可不是时候 - 吉米，你猜怎么着
她没偷情，她没背叛我
- 那是她表弟 - 这挺好
是我搞错了，那是她…
故意惹我生气拍的
我看到后面发现的
好，你该发现点别的什么
- 什么？ - 墨西哥黑帮大军…
正把加芙列拉带去车库
- 吉米，我来接应你 - 不，你待在原地
- 我会发短信给你 - 好
她可真够倔强的
哦
好的
- 我一直在想 - 嗯哼
普博尔？我们只知道他 死掉的弟弟和杀人案有关
我们实际上还没有和 普博尔有关的直接证据
更重要的是，没有把吉米和 保罗与他联系到一起的证据
- 这才是关键所在 - 我们干嘛不直接从源头查起
我们为什么不直接问普博尔这混蛋…
从他那挤点“汁”出来，嗯？
- 啥？ - 天然橙汁
- 我们去挖点料出来 - 我们干吧
她很有种
安迪·帕克
- 你想干什么，笨蛋？ - 来嘛，英雄
我可以和传奇人物安迪·帕克谈谈吗 龟头哥哥？
或者这么说
那是鸡头的意思，小子
你确定？
您拨打的号码不在服务区，再见
看来我该把十字架交给警方了
- 把它带来给我，否则我就杀了她 - 去你的
你来找我们，一个小时后到 普拉斯基大桥下带上那女孩和棒球卡
- 一小时 - 让那个女孩接…
他们手上有我要的东西
他们约我去普拉斯基大桥下见面
你和你最好的枪手跟我一起 其他人去大桥
他们一露面就杀了他们
把十字架给我带回来
糟糕
你记得吃药了吗？
吃了，谢谢
你等下还去看爵士乐表演吗？
不去了
糟糕
这怎么…？
等下去吃印度餐怎么样？
我吃了奶酪，现在肚子还饱着
- 你们在这儿干嘛？ - 你怎么在这儿？
- 刚才是怎么回事？ - 他怎么样了？
- 雷？ - 我想子弹打穿了
- 按住伤口，雷 - 你怎么样？
- 车呢？ - 在那
- 你觉得你跑得过去吗？ - 不，我不会丢下他的
听着，他得去呼叫救援 否则他坚持不下去的
他是怕挨枪子
- 可别让我中枪啊 - 不会的，勇敢点
- 好，帮我倒数 - 1，2，3
走
警员受伤，所有巡逻车请回答
喔！
哦，快点
喂，你有没有拿我的鞋？
你们两个，上楼
谁来就杀谁
蹲下，蹲下
喂
我要进去了，1，2，3
- 干掉他了吗？ - 他的脑袋没了，算不算？
算
- 哟哟！ - 啊！
嘿，嘿！
吉米，我中枪了
我听见你们说悄悄话了哟
你们可别在我房里搞基
我们没有，你这变态
你们来是为了那个女孩
我只想要回我的随身碟，我们做个交易吧 怎么样？
准备好了？
准备好了，我们大干一场吧
你到底知不知道自己在说什么
- 你们私闯民宅了哟，警探们 - 你报警吧
动作很快嘛，小玻璃
但我还是可以在你们抓到我之前杀了她
别他妈再杀人了，放了她
你们要想让她活命的话…
就把随身碟还给我
我信不过这个混蛋，他是个白痴
你知道你自己是白痴吧？
你放了她，我们给你随身碟 我们皆大欢喜
你们以为我会这样放了人质吗？
我要和这婊子一起离开
懂了吗？让这群蠢猪都撤走 在前门给我准备一辆车
我要打爆你的头
你知道我们干掉你手下有多累吗？
趁你还没死，赶紧投降吧，小玻璃
- 瞄准了没？ - 瞄准了
你们不敢开枪的
我数三下
你们不敢开枪的
没错，你们没那个胆
是数到三开枪还是数完三再开？
- 数完三再开枪 - 你又发脾气了
- 一直都是数完三再开枪的 - 我数学不好
- 来吧 - 你准备好了？
是的 1
混蛋
小心点，伙计们
没事的，他们都懂行的
要我陪你吗，你看起来要挂了
我要你留在这儿把事情干完
贝瑞
这靴子很适合你
好了，现在你安全了
她知道整件事情
就不和我来个吻别了吗？
- 你去哪？ - 我拿我的棒球卡
大侦探，等一下
该死
你们俩胆子不小啊
长官…
停职了还协助曼戈尔德和韩塞克调查
- 不，我们… - 曼戈尔德都跟我说了
- 他说了？ - 长官，我们…
不不，你们做的很好，做的很好
你们救了我两个手下的命 你们该戴上战斗十字勋章
- 哦耶！ - 对不起，保罗
医生，喔喔，听我说
- 我要在这具尸体上查找证据 - 帮个忙把手套戴上，一定要戴上手套
打开
楼上还有些瑞士奶酪，上去看看
你们快点，这些尸体我要忙一周了
去找点事做吧，给我们点时间
很高兴我那枪打在你的“corazon”上 普博伊
“corazon”是心脏的意思 加芙列拉教我的
嗯，没错
你没打中他的心脏，好吗？
- 你一定打在他肩上了 - 我打中他心脏了，你胡说什么
好枪法，正好打在那里
我也中枪了
我没有挂是因为我想…
这枪不是我打的
不是我打的，我还记得训练时的情形
他们教你如何瞄准动脉，这不是我打的
对不起，吉米，我不是有意的
对不起，吉米，对不起
对不起，我不是有意的，吉米
吉米
我们可以一起祈祷吗？
振作点，喝酒解决不了问题 反而会愁上加愁
来点疯狗20/20吧
我知道你失去帕克的棒球卡的感受 我能搞到瑞奇·杰克逊的卡
帕梅拉，你好啊
转个身，让我看看你，漂亮啊
比你漂亮的只有天仙了
- 很高兴见到你 - 再见，帕梅拉
我们跳舞吧，来
今天开心吗？
我们找个地儿幽会，来吧，就这一次
去你爸爸的房子，在林肯市的后面…
- 看到你心情好我也很高兴 - 没错，我是心情很好
- 我想请你帮个小忙 - 好
我希望你和罗伊一起把艾娃交给新郎
当牧师说，谁来把新娘交给新郎
你和罗伊一起站起来说“我们”
这很公平，毕竟婚礼是花他的钱
你喝糊涂了吗？
就当是为我吧，吉米，你欠我的
如果你不同意…
敢破坏我女儿的婚礼 不管你做了什么…
我会扯掉你的蛋蛋
- 嘿 - 嘿
- 想喝点什么，宝贝儿？ - 不用了，我很好
哦，你当然很美
- 喜欢这条项链吗？ - 哦，我很喜欢
其实还有很多呢
亲爱的，不要再老给我买东西了
我爱你 ，并且我原谅你
只要你别像那样吃醋就行了
谢谢，我爱你
你就像只小鹿斑比一样漂亮可爱
耶和华是我的牧者 我必不至缺乏
他使我躺卧在青草地上
领我在可安歇的水边
他使我的灵魂苏醒 为自己的名引导我走义路
我做孩子的时候 说话像孩子…
情感像孩子 想法也像孩子
现在我已长大成人 我把孩子气的事都丢弃了
常存人心的东西有三样： 信念，希望和爱…
其中爱是最重要的
谁来把新娘交给新郎？
嘿，嘿，给我乖乖坐下，坐下
你要敢站起来我就让你变成东方不败 听懂了吗？
也许该让他来
谁来把新娘交给新郎？
我
我爱你
喂？
- 嗨，亲爱的 - 嗨，亲爱的
呃…
- 我在想我们一起吃个饭吧 - 我们去哪吃？
等我一下好吗，亲爱的？
- 有人吗？ - 有人吗？
这是恶作剧吗？
啥？你喜欢恶作剧？
笃笃
谁在那？
打开
- 打开什么？ - 打开袋子，混蛋
你好
哦耶
-=The Last Fantasy=- 谢谢观赏