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在新西兰，某个秘密社群每隔几年就会为了一项盛世聚集起来
-邪恶的化妆舞会
在为舞会准备的几个月裡，一个纪录片摄製组
被淮许接近拍摄这个社群中的一些人
摄製组的每个成员都会佩戴十字架并确保在拍摄期间得到保护
并确保在拍摄期间得到保护
Viago 379岁
现在是晚上6点 So it's 6 PM in the night time...
我通常都这个时候起来. ... which is when I wake up.
这对我来说很可怕. This is always really scary part for me.
yes!到晚上了 Yes! Night time.
现在我要去叫醒我的伙伴们 So, now I'm going to wake up my flat mates.
我非常喜欢同居生活 I really love living in a flatting situation.
起床! Wake up!
大家起床了！ Wake up everyone!
我喜欢跟其他吸血鬼混在一起 I like to hang out with other vampires.
我喜欢聚会 I like the company.
起床时间到了！ Awaken!
起床! A wakey, wakey!
我喜欢跟朋友们一起玩 I just really like having a good time with my friends.
迪肯..嘿，迪肯. Deacon...
Hi!
Hey!
Deacon...
-你昨晚过得如何? How was your night, last night?
-我变成了只狗然后啪啪了. I transformed into a dog and had sex.
酷, Cool!
我们15分钟后要 We're gonna have a little flat-meeting in the kitchen in about 15 minutes, okay?
在厨房开个会，好吗？
好吧 - Okay. - Okay.
我要关上吗? - Should I close this? - Yes.
恩.
Vladislav!.. Vladislav?!
哦! 抱歉 Sorry! Sorry!
怎麽了? What?
现在几点了? - Hey! - What time is it?
-我们10分钟后要开个会 Umm, we're going to have a flat-meeting in about 10 minutes.
20, 20.
好吧，那是 ... Okay... is it...
So we're...
现在我们是在皮特房裡 ...in Petyr's room.
我要去叫醒他. I'm just going to wake him up.
Petyr?
Petyr?!
皮特起床了. Petyr, wake up.
听著，我们10分钟后要开会 Hey, listen. We're just having a flat-meeting upstairs in about 10 minutes.
你不必参加，但我觉得至少得跟你说声，以防万一. You don't have to come but I thought I'd
extend an invitation to you just in case.
地板上到处都是东西，皮特. Umm....
There's a lot of stuff on the floor down here, Petyr, and...
这看起来好像...啊，是脊椎骨 ... like this seems, I don't... AH!
! That asco? It's a spinal column, yuck!
And I was thinking, maybe...
我想也许我该给你带把笤帚下来- ... I just should bring a broom down here for you
-如果你想清理一下这些残骸的话 if you wanted to sweep up some of the skeletons.
我不知道，也许... I don't know.
You know...
好吧 Okay.
我给你带了只鸡 I got you this chicken.
-皮特不来吗? Is Petyr coming?
-皮特都8000岁了，不用叫他来了 - Should we be worried? - Petyr's...
... 8000 years old.
We're not going to have Petyr at the meeting.
我想快速划分一下我们在公寓裡的职责 Okay, so...
Wanted to have a quick chat about flat responsibilities because
因为这并费不了多大功夫 uh...guys I think that we're not all pulling our weight here.
我们并不想指挥你，迪肯 We're not just pointing the finger at you, Deacon.
你很酷.但你从来都不做家务 You're a cool guy but you're not pulling your weight in the flat.
很高兴知道我很酷. Well, I'm glad to hear that I'm cool.
这不是重点，你没好好听 - No, that's not the point though... - Yeah, no, I know...
我知道 It's not a flat meeting about how cool you are.
我们开这个会不是要讨论你有多酷 - I do my flat chores. - No, you don't!
我一直有整理
不，你没有 - Yes, I do - No, that's why we're having the flat-meeting.
不，这就是为什麽我们要开这个会
重点是，迪肯你都5年没刷过盘子了 The point is Deacon that you have not done the dishes for 5 years.
Vladislav说的没错, 檯子上堆著这麽多血盘子实在让人受不了 Vladislav is right.
It's unacceptable to have so many bloody dishes all over the bench like that...
我每次带人过来都觉得很难堪! I'm so embarrassed when people come over here.
-那又怎麽样? 反正你是要杀了他们的! Why does it matter?!
You bring them over to kill them!
吸血鬼才不刷盘子呢. Vampires don't do dishes.
迪肯是个年轻叛逆的吸血鬼. Deacon's like the rebellious young vampire.
他总是做些疯狂的事情，说些疯狂的话 He's always doing crazy things. Saying crazy things.
他就是社团裡的坏小子. He's just like the young, bad boy of the group.
Okay, so...
有一天，我出门卖杂货 One day I was...
... selling my wears...
路过了一个恐怖的古老城堡. And I walked passed this old creepy castle.
我看著它，心想 and I look at it and think...
“真是古老又恐怖”. ... 'very old and creepy.'
然后有个东西飞向我 And then this creature...
... flies at me!
把我拖进黑漆漆的地窖 It dragged me back to this dark dungeon.
啃咬了我的脖子 And bit into my neck.
就在我快死的时候，那东西 And just at the point of death...
强迫我吮吸 ... this creature...
他的拇指血. ... forced me to suck its foul blood.
然后像这样打开翅膀， And then...
... it opened it's wings, like this.
在我头顶上盘旋 And hovered above me.
尖叫著说“现在你是吸血鬼了” Screeching.
'Now you are vampire.'
那家伙就是皮特. And it was Petyr.
我们从那时起就一直是朋友了. And we're still friends today.
你坚持回收利用垃圾，这很好, Vlad. Vlad, you are great. You put out the recycling.
有一天 Which was really cool.
And!
我拖著个人的尸体走过走廊， The other day, I dragged mans body down the hallway,
注意到那裡变得一尘不染. and noticed that there was no dust.
我算是顺便把走廊拖乾淨了 Like, I kind of... I kind of swept the hallway.
Vladislav 像所有老派吸血鬼一样，成长于中世纪 Vladislav, is just like...
... this older vampire who
grew up in the medieval times.
你知道，活了这麽久，见识了那麽多事情 And you know, to be living this long
and to have seen the things that he's seen
但还是依然这麽合群 我得说，向他脱帽致敬. and still like, kind of have it together,
I mean, hat's off to him.
-该死的 Bloody hell!
-对不起 Sorry!
It is a great guy He's a really great guy.
他是个好人. A bit a of a pervert.
有点变态。他对事情还是抱著老一套的观念 He has some pretty old ideas about things.
我们应该养些奴隶的. We should get some slaves!
恩 When I first became a vampire...
我刚变成吸血鬼那会
是非常残暴的 ... I was quite tyrannical.
我因折磨虐待很多人而声名远扬 I was known for torturing a lot of people.
这是我的施虐室 This is my torture chamber.
如今我不太常到这裡. I don't come in here, often anymore.
当我觉得不爽的时候，就会以折磨人做排遣 I tempted to torture when I was in a bad place.
我用各种工具刺他们 My thing was, I would poke someone
人称穿刺公弗拉德 "vlad the poker". with implements.
I was known as 'Vladislav the poker'.
这个保持原状很久了 It's been like this the whole time...
Viago有些迂腐 - Okay, so... - Viago is a little...
清洗和垃圾处理，我一直都有做 ... pedantic.
The washing and the rubbish, I did that.
迪肯，盘子这裡已经5年没挪过窝了! Deacon, on dishes and it's still hasn't moved in 5 years.
他是18世纪的花花公子，所有有些爱挑剔, He was an 18th century dandy.
So, he can be very fussy.
一直抱怨来抱怨去的. He nags and nags...
有天我发现我漂亮的古董沙发椅上沾满了血迹 The lunch the other day and it was blood all over my nice antique couch.
-是真的血? 是的，现在都红了. Which one, the red one?
Well, it's red now, yah.
如果你要在我的可爱沙发上享用你的受害人 If you're going to eat a victim on my nice clean couch
在地板上垫几张报纸先，或者毛巾什麽的 put down some newspaper on the floor
又不费什麽事 and some towels. It's not hard to do.
我们吸血鬼才不会铺毛巾 We're vampires! We don't put down towels.
-有些会的. Some vampires do.
正经吸血鬼不会. Well, not serious ones!
当四个吸血鬼合住在一件公寓裡时 When you get 4 vampires in a flat
肯定会有很多紧张关系 obviously there's going to be a lot of tension.
就跟其他合住情况一样 There's tension in any, any flatting situation.
就这麽定了，我们都得干自己的活 It's settled then. We all do our jobs, starting with a certain Deacon...
当然要从迪肯开始
我才不刷盘子呢 I will do my dishes!
什麽鬼玩意. This is bullshit.
16岁变成了吸血鬼，这就是为什麽我一直看起来像是16岁 Well, I became a vampire when I was 16.
That is why I always look 16.
在那些岁月裡，当你16岁的时候，生活可是很不易的 In those days, of course, life was tough for a 16 year old.
吸血鬼的名声可不好. Vampires have had a pretty bad rec.
我们可不是那种住在城堡裡的老古董 We're not these mopey old creatures who live in castles.
有些是会那样子的啦,好吧，还不少 And while some, most of us are, a lot are... bats.
我们有些还是喜欢在小国家裡合住 在公寓裡，像是新西兰这样的 There are also, those of us, who like to flat together in
really small countries like New Zealand.
我以前是纳粹吸血鬼 I was a Nazi vampire.
在我的秘密吸血鬼军团帮助下
我们会征服整个世界
战争结束后，纳粹战败了 After the war, which the Nazi's lost...
不知道你听说了没，纳粹战败了 I don't know, if you know that the Nazi's lost...
如果你是纳粹的话，战争后的日子可是%……￥…… ... that war.
If you were a Nazi, after the war...
而如果你是吸血鬼...[摇头] ...and if you were a vampire...
而如果你是纳粹吸血鬼...没得活了. 我就曾是如此 ... and if you were a Nazi vampire...
No way.
I was out of there.
吸血鬼生活
我是为了爱情来到这个国家的 Yah, I came to this country for love.
那是个女孩子，人类的女孩 Uh, there was a girl. Human girl.
And...
我觉得她棒呆了，她实在是太了不起了 ... I...
... thought she was fantastic. She was...
... absolutely amazing.
我被她迷住了 I was smitten.
她跟家人搬去了新西兰 Her family emigrated to New Zealand.
我就在想，你知道吗，我就是要跟著她去 我要去追她，告诉她我的感觉 And, I thought,
'you know what, to hell with it.
I'm gonna go. I'm going to chase her and tell her how I feel.'
我跟我的僕人飞利浦说，把我寄去新西兰 I told my servant Phillip,
'Send me to New Zealand.'
他在我的棺材上贴错了邮票 所以我用了18个月才到 He...
... put the wrong postage on my coffin.
So the whole journey took about 18 months.
当我终于到那儿时，她已经有喜欢的人了 And when I got here, she had...
... found someone else.
她跟别人坠入了爱河，而且结婚了 She had fallen in love.
And...
She was married.
她离开前给了我这个 She gave me this before she left.
看到她了吧，那个是我，我放进去的 There she is.
That's me, I put myself in there too.
她跟我说这是纯银的 She told me in was pure silver.
不幸的是，我们吸血鬼没法佩戴银饰 Unfortunately...
... we vampires can not wear silver.
Yeah...
好吧，我最多只能戴这麽久 It's about as long as I can wear that.
我们今晚要去威灵顿，确认自己看起来不错是很重要的 Tonight, we are going out into Wellington center.
It is important that we look good.
恩，很不错,我喜欢 Yeah, it's really good. Yeah.
很不幸，我们没有倒影，所以没法知道自己看起来如何 One of the unfortunate things about not having a reflection is that you...
... don't know exactly what you look like.
呜呜呜！看啊，这只幽灵杯子自己飞起来了 Look!
A ghost cup!
Floating all by itself!
我们给对方画像，确保对方看起来不错 We can give each other feedback and
help each other out until we're looking great.
很多衣服来自于我们的受害人 Yes, some of our clothes are from victims.
有时候在咬人的时候发现 诶？ 这裤子不错嘛 We might bite someone and then...
... you think, 'ooh, those are some nice pants!'.
这个？ -不行，换掉 - Do work these? - NO!
作为吸血鬼，你会变得很性感 Change it!
When you are a vampire, you become very sexy.
我们会设法吸引受害人 We are trying to attract victims to us.
我有点犹豫要不要穿这个马甲 Not sure about the waist coat.
我的风格是 死亡但美味 I go for a look which I call Dead But Delicious.
我们即是诱饵又是陷阱 We are the bait.
But we're also the trap.
海，女士们 Hello, ladies.
我们要去城裡派对狂欢了。 And my love, we are ready to go into town and party!
吸血鬼style！！ Vampire... vampire style.
我们进城时会努力融入，儘量不要太显眼 When we go into town, we must try to blend in.
进城的感觉很棒，因为有一瞬间我会觉得... We are walking the streets.
Coming into town. Um, it's really cool because
just for one brief moment
死基佬! I feel...
Homos!
吸血鬼有点麻烦，要邀请才能进 The trouble with being a vampire is you
have to be invited in, to go in.
拜託你邀请我们进酒吧吧 We would like to come into the bar, please.
拜託你邀请我们进酒吧吧 Invite us into the bar, please.
是开著的啊 Keep walking.
但你得邀请我们 You invite us in!
If humans discovered 人类有时发现我们是吸血鬼，就会跟踪我们 If the humans find out what we were...
大惠灵顿区有6、70个吸血鬼 ... they would destroy us.
There are between 60 and 70 vampires in the greater Wellington region.
-吸血鬼，肯定是 - Obvious vampire. - Joline!
海. Hello!
我好渴! How embarrassing.
我还是人时跟这人交往过 He's a guy I used to work with when I was human.
他挂了？. - Is he gone? - Yeah, he's gone.
是啊，他挂了，我整晚都在吸他的血.
我是个饥渴的女孩! I've been draining him all night.
Been a very thirsty girl.
还是小孩时被咬就会一直这样年纪 Being bitten as a little boy or a little girl
you always going to look the same age.
-你们今晚有干掉什麽变态吗？ What are you doing tonight?
是啊，一个恋童癖 Going to kill some perverts?
-酷 - Yeah, we're meeting a pedophile. - Cool.
我们要去BK酒吧. Okay, let's just go please.
祝你们玩得愉快 - Have a good night, guys! - Yeah, you have a good night!
祝你们玩得愉快 The Big Kumara is vampire owned and operated, so we could always get in.
BK酒吧是吸血鬼开的，所以我们随时能进
那裡是威灵顿吸血鬼晚间最热门的地方 It's the hottest night spot for vampires in Wellington.
进来吧伙计们 -谢谢 - Come on in, guys, come on in. - Thank you.
也许你能带些人去我们那儿？ 也许是处女/男？ Perhaps you could bring some people to the house.
- Sure. - Perhaps some virgins?
处，好的 Virgins? Yep, okay.
有什麽偏好吗？ 比如什麽性别之类的。 Any kind of preference in terms of gender or?
一些女士吧 Maybe some ladies?
好的，女士们 Yep. Ladies.
也许还有个男人 Perhaps a guy?
-男女各一个? One of each?
很好. One of each should be cool.
我跟迪肯的关系是 ... 他是我的主人. My relationship with Deacon is...
... well, I'm his familiar. He's my Master.
他让我干嘛我干嘛 He tells me what to do, I do it.
我们是主僕关系，处的还不错 We have the kind of master-servant relationship which works nicely.
海! -海 Actually.
这有些血迹，我老公有血友病 - Hello! - Hello.
Oh, it's a little bit of blood.
Um, my husband, he's a, he's a hemophiliac.
你知道的..就是这样 You know, someone who bleeds a lot.
恩 Yeah.
-随便什麽年龄? -恩 Any kind of age range?
但不要小孩子? -不要孩子. - Young. - But not, not kids?
Not kids.
-18-30? -至少要比你年轻 18 to 30?
Definitely younger than yourself.
那就18-30. 所以你要举办个晚宴派对 Okay, so 18 to 30.
So it's a dinner party?
- I'll be there? - Yes!
是的，我们会盛装打扮，然后吃了他们，会很好玩的 - Dinner party. - The guys we'll be there?
Yes.
- We will all be there? - Yes, we will dress up.
- Okay, great. - And then... eat them.
好的 - Should be fun. - Okay, great.
会很好玩的
我想知道我们能不能谈谈... I was just wondering if we could talk about the...
给我找个夜间牙医? You don't know of a night dentist?
-我这裡长了个东西 Because I have this thing here.
我们能不能谈谈协议？ I was just wondering if we could talk about the deal.
协议 - Hm? - The deal.
-盘子？ -不，协议... - The dishes? - No, the...
协议是他会让我永生 The deal is that he is going to give me eternal life.
Um, which is...
-这太令人兴奋了 ... very exciting.
我感觉自己到达了最佳状态， Well, I just feel like I kind of reached my potential and
我只是不希望在更老的时候变身 I wouldn't want to kind of, get any older before, I kind of...
我希望保持在好的年龄状态 I just feel like I'm the best version of myself that I can be.
可我这麽多年就一直洗衣服，洗盘子.. . It's just that it's been 4 and a half years and I just
I just want... doing your plans and...
Doing your dry-cleaning. Now I'm doing your dishes.
-还有牙医 Yeah... the dentist?
还有牙医。我觉得等了太久了，所以希望.. And the dentist and it's just taking an awful long time, so I was just wondering...
消失 -好吧 待会见-好吧 - Be gone! - Okay.
- I see you later! - Okay.
作为吸血鬼最不幸的事情是 One of the most unfortunate things about being a vampire is that...
你必须要喝人血 ... you have to drink human blood.
我喜欢营造个浪漫的夜晚 I like to make a real evening of it.
来点儿音乐和好酒... Play some music.
Maybe give them some nice wine.
这是他们人生的最后时光，为什麽不搞得美好点儿呢 It's their last moment alive so why not make it a nice experience.
说说你是干什麽的吧 So...
Tell we what you do, what do you...
事实上我打算重回大学 I was thinking about going back to Uni, actually.
是吗? Oh, you are? Lets put this over
there.
大学.? University, yeah?
在那儿之后，我要去旅行. Yeah, but after that, I'm gonna travel.
我想要出国旅行很多年了.所以我一直有存钱 Yeah...
I really wanted to go over seas for ages, so..
我想去西班牙，意大利，伦敦. Saving out and I'm gonna go to Spain and
Italy and London and...
好吧，不好意思，头发放这裡 Yeah.
Okay. Excuse me.
Just put that there.
来吧... There we go.
我靠
Shit!
进展不是很顺利 Well, that didn't go so great.
我咬到了主动脉 Um, I hit the main artery.
所以现在搞得一团糟 So, yeah, it's a real mess in there, um...
往好的方面想，我想她度过了个美好的夜晚 On the upside, I think she had a really good time.
现在是深夜，我找到了个在看电视的女人， So, it's quite late and uh...
I've managed to find a woman up, watching television.
看来是个不错的受害者人选 And, uh, she seems like she'd be a good victim.
我要对她催眠 I'm just going to use hypnosis on her...
看我，看我... See me...
她从这个角度看不到我了. She can't, she can't see me from that angle.
Vladislav 曾经非常强大 Vladislav used to be extremely powerful.
他可以催眠一大群人 He could hypnotize crowds of people.
他跟3、40个女人一起狂欢. Great orgies. 20-30 women.
他可以变成任何动物 He could turn into all sorts of animals.
但从来没有把脸变对过 But now he never get the faces right.
他杀害任何人.男人，女人,小孩... He would kill anybody. Men, women.
他烧毁一切. 太棒了 Children. Burning... everything.
但他在自己的死敌面前遭受了耻辱的挫败 It was totally great.
But he suffered a humiliating defeat...
... at the hands of his arch nemesis...
"野兽" ... The Beast.
在那之后他就不复从前了 And, he's never been the same.
看我，看我.看我，看我. See me...
你要进来吗 Would you like to come inside?
Ah!
海，杰基，欢迎光临，进来吧 - Jackie, welcome! Come in. - Hello.
这是尼克，我前前男友，还有约瑟芬 This is Nick. Ex-ex boyfriend.
- And Josefine. - Nice house.
这是迪肯，我欧洲来的朋友 And this is Deacon, my over seas friend from Europe.
迪肯跟朋友需要受害者 Deacon and his friends need...
海，进来吧，欢迎 ... victims.
Hi! Please come in, welcome.
不能找喜欢我或是我喜欢的人，毕竟是要成为受害者的 There can't be people that...
... I actually
envious them or like because of course they will become victims.
海，约瑟芬?我英语课坐你旁边 Hi! Josefine?
No, I sat next to you in English. Remember?
记得吧? Um, you used to call me the Jacksersist?
你以前叫我杰西西
是的，你叫过 No you did, no you did. Yeah.
是你最初这麽叫的 No, you started that.
是你先叫起来的，后来就传开来了 You were the one who started calling me that and then it kind of caught on.
大家就都这麽叫我
是的 Yeah.
好的，再见 Okay, bye then. Bye.
就她了 She's in.
-你喜欢吗,尼克? -恩，很好 You like that, Nick?
Yep, it's nice.
我要去准备晚饭了 -好的 I will go and prepare dinner.
你是处吗，尼克？ -什麽? Nick, are you a virgin at all?
看起来不像..你是处吗? Um, what?
Doesn't seem like... are, are you a virgin?
是的 -不是 - Yes. - Um, no.
我们交往的时候你还是的 You were a virgin when we were seeing each other?
是啊，那是12岁的事儿了 Yeah, I was 12.
你说他们是处的. You said he was a virgin.
我们喝处的血因为这显得比较酷 I think we drink virgin blood because...
我觉得这就好像是，你吃三明治的时候 ... it sounds cool.
I think of it like this...
If you're going to eat a sandwich..
确定还没人碰过会让你更加享受它 You will just enjoy it more if you knew no one had fucked it.
让我们问问约瑟芬吧 Let's concentrate on Josefine than.
你是处女吗? -不是 Are you a virgin?
好吧，我很抱歉，因为我真以为她是 I'm not, no.
Okay, I'm really sorry.
Because I totally...
她看起来就像是，说话也像，我是说，谁会想上她，我就不会 Him there is a Virgin.
She looks like a virgin. She talks like a virgin, I mean...
Who would have sex with her, I wouldn't.
我会 -哦 I would.
Oh.
两份晚餐 Okay, good.
- It's 2 dinners... yum. - Nick.
你喜欢意面吗？ - Do you like bisghetti?
是的，通常都很喜欢 Uh... yep. I usually like it.
有点儿烫 But, be better if it was warm?
这是我最喜欢的把戏 ...我给客人们呈上意面 So, this is my favorite trick.
We present our guest with a plate of bisghetti.
然后问:然后问何不吃点意面呢" And then, I would say, ' Why don't you eat some bisghetti?'
吃点意面吧, 尼克 Please, Nick.
Eat some bisghetti.
我都不知道你喜欢吃蠕虫, 尼克 I didn't realize you enjoy eating worms.
Nick.
那些是蠕虫. - No... - They are worms.
我盘子裡有蠕虫在动 There's worms moving around on my plate.
只是看起来像而已 Worm like but not actually... There's worms moving around on my plate.
Worm like but not actually...
我是从lost boys裡偷到的创意，但我们加了点反转 We stole that idea from The Lost Boys.
But I put a nice twist on it.
尼克 ...有一条蛇JJ怎麽样 Nick.
How does it feel to have a snake for a penis?
杰基，我JJ没了 Jackie?
变成了眼镜蛇 My penis has disappeared. It's a cobra snake.
没人会把你的jj跟眼镜蛇搞混，相信我 Nobody is gonna mistake your penis for a cobra, Nick, okay?
- Believe me. - What have you put in my bisghetti?
不是的，就是条普通jj而已. No, it is just a normal penis.
我要走了. I'm out. I'm out.
Josefine?
约瑟芬... 你喜欢意面吗? Do you like bisghetti?
这群变态，搞坏我的意面 Look, these freaks...
我的JJ变成蛇，一点不好玩 ... spike my bisghetti, make my cock turn into a snake is not cool.
不太对劲 Not cool.
是不是有点古怪？ You don't think this is weird?
卧槽... For fuck sakes...
Jackie?!
Jackie!
杰基！杰基！--抱歉，尼克！ - Sorry Nick. - What are you doing?!
你做了什麽，杰基？
Jackie!
Shit!
这他妈...?
滚开! Fuck off.
我这是在哪儿? Where am I?
Fuck.
Fuck!
怪胎! Freaks!
Ah, no...
-哦，不，皮特抓到他了 -可怜的家伙 Petyr got him.
Poor guy...
谁放皮特出来的? Who let Petyr out?
两个月后
伙计们 Hey, guys!
嘿！嘿！你们在做什麽？ Hey, what are you guys doing?
你在做什麽，尼克? What are you doing, Nick?
进来 Come into the house.
海，我叫尼克 - Hi, my name is Nick. - Hey, guys.
嘿，伙计们 I've been a vampire for 2 months.
我变成吸血鬼已有两个月了
变成吸血鬼最棒的一件事就是可以飞 Probably, I reckon best thing about being a vampire is flying.
我一直都想要飞 Like I've always wanted to, I think everyone has always wanted to fly.
我现在可以了 And now I can do it.
Oh...
你为什麽不从前门进来? Nick, why don't you use the front door?
-为什麽呢？我会飞. Why would I? I'm flying.
皮特咬了我 Petyr bit me.
并喝干了我的血，当我醒来时 Sucked all my blood out.
I woke up in his basement and...
他给了我些血 ... he offered me some blood.
我想是比较德国的东西 I just thought it was something...
... some German thing that these guys do.
变成吸血鬼的过程非常难熬 This transition, into becoming a vampire was pretty hard.
我看起来糟透了。我脖子上有个大牙印 I look like shit to start off with, like, I had a massive gash on my neck.
伤口非常深，都能看到我的喉咙。
Like you could see the inside of my neck.
我的衣服上到处都是血 I had blood all over my top.
我回到家，浑身是汗，感觉忽冷忽热 And then I came home and I was sweating.
I was either really hot or really cold.
感觉就像是10倍的宿醉 It was like a hang-over times 10, I reckon.
It was really bad.
感觉像是得了流感 It was quite similar to having the flu.
唯一不同的是我的双眼不停的冒血 Except, the only difference would probably be...
... that my eyes bleed heaps.
你们不冷吗？ Are you guys not cold?
很难解释，但我就是又冷又双眼流血，还可以飞 No, I can't really explain it. It's like, yeah, really hot and cold and like...
... bloody eyes and flying and stuff.
邻居会看到你在飞，你想给这屋子招来关注吗？ The neighbors can see you flying around the house.
You want to draw attention to his house, hm?
可是一整个拍摄团队都在跟著你呢。 You got a whole... documentary crew following you around.
我正在给我的朋友们跳色情舞蹈 I am doing an erotic dance for my friends.
却被你毁掉了.我正跳的带劲呢 And you ruined it. I was in the zone.
他们都喜欢 My friends are loving it.
我也喜欢，我看到结束部分了，很不错 -谢谢 I love it. I saw the end of it. It looked great.
他们也许还没有完全的接纳我 I don't, I don't know, if I'm, if I'm accepted yet.
但我想我正在慢慢融入 But... I don't know. I think it's getting there.
他们很老，但面对现实世界又显得很天真无知 I don't know the oldest stuff, but they're quite naive...
... when it comes to the real world.
我很愿意跟他们一道，这样我们就可以互相学习 So...
I don't know, it would be cool to just...
Hang out with them. They could teach me some stuff.
But I could probably teach them a few things.
刚开始时，痛苦的要死 At the start it was like, 'Oh no, like I'm..'
'... I'm dead.'
这影响了我的朋友和家人，一切都不复从前 It kind of affected my friendship with normal people, my family and stuff.
但现在我有了新的家人 But, of the way I see it, I've got a whole new family.
他们接受了这样的我，而我也同样- They accept me for who I am. They don't even seem to know who they are.
儘管是其中之一杀了我 Even though...
我们今晚去哪儿? ... one of them killed me.
Where should we go tonight?
BK吧（The Big Kumara.） Let's go to the big Kumara.
BW怎麽样（Boogie Wonderland）? Why don't we go to Boogie Wonderland? We never get in to Boogie Wonderland.
我们进不去哪裡 My friend Richard's the bouncer. He can get us in.
我的朋友理查德是那裡的保安，他可以请我们进去
真的？ - What? Really? - I'll invite us in.
-这是Stu.-谁是Stu - Stu is game. - He will come with us too?
这是我的朋友Stu Ah, this is my friend Stu.
海 - Hey. - He works in computers and stuff.
他是搞计算机的
他跟我姐姐恋爱过，不过后来吹了 Originally he went out with my sister.
我没法理解，你一直都对我这麽好的 And then they broke up.
I didn't want her to do it, but...
It's got nothing to do with me.
现在，你听不见我 And um... he can't hear me.
Stu 不知道我是吸血鬼 Yeah, so basically...
Stu doesn't know that I'm a vampire.
也不知道我朋友是 And he doesn't know that my friends are vampires.
他只是以为我有些怪异的朋友 He just thinks that I'm just...
这个是杰西 ... with some powerful friends.
我带他去家裡，其他人都以为他是食物 我不能咬他，这太糟了 I bought a room in the house and he thought I bought a meal.
Just like...
... it really, really sucks...
... that I can't eat him.
理想情况下，我只要... I just want to like...
不过他是那种值得交朋友的人 Look at it. He's the reddest guy I know.
现在你能听到了 Right, you can hear me.
你计算机搞得不错? - Like computer based and stuff, heh, mainly? - Yeah, yeah.
是啊，数据库. - Databases. - Yeah, like computers mainly.
计算机之类的
我们在BW和BK中投票 Let's have a vote for Boogie Wonderland or The Big Kumara.
The Big Kumara? Big Kumara!
很好... Wait.
快点. Come on Stu, hurry up.
我觉得尼克不应该变成吸血鬼 I don't think Nick should have been turned into a vampire.
他真的很垃圾. He's such a dick.
嘿，伙计 Looking great man!
绅士们，欢迎加入 You are most welcome!
我们在 Boogie Wonderland了! We're in Boogie Wonderland!
我们现在在Boogie Wonderland了，太有意思了 Here we are at Boogie Wonderland and it is so much fun.
他们有电子地板！真不可思议！很高兴能来这裡 This is amazing!
I'm so happy to be here.
这地方太蠢了！ This is pretty cheesy.
你看到他的外套了吗？ Also, did you see the jacket he wore?
跟我的一样 He's wearing the same jacket as me.
不，并不完全一样 - It's not exactly the same. - It's pretty close.
很接近
我现在爱死做吸血鬼了 I'm just loving being a vampire.
Over there, is the big Fat Lady's Arms.
每週三会组织恐怖竞赛 Ah, on Wednesday's there be, like fear factor competition.
你们可以赢得T恤和帽子 You can win like t-shirts and hats and small prizes.
我闻到了狼人的气味 I can smell werewolves.
碰到狼人说明有些不好的事要发生了 Okay, we're just about to walk passed some werewolves so some shit might go down!
小心点伙计，别染上跳蚤 Look out guys. Don't catch flees.
你说什麽? - What's that, mate? - Deacon.
继续走. - Sorry what? - Keep going, keep walking.
我们晚上听力敏锐著呢. - Keep walking! - We heard that, mate. We've got sensitive hearing.
- Have you? - Yeah.
你们是在拍mv吗? What are you filming? It's a music video, is it?
我们可不想找麻烦 We don't want any trouble.
我想 - Why did you start it? - Well, I do. Have I got your heckles up?
那你试试啊
滚回去闻你的裤裆吧 Huh?
Why don't you girls smell your own crutches, huh?
你在说什麽？ - Come on. It's not worth it. - What are you talking about?
我们才不会闻自己的呢，只会互相闻. 这是我们打招呼的方式 We don't smell our own crutches. We smell each others crutches.
And it's a... form of... greeting.
摄像机拍到了，别说了.. Your own camera, mate, don't, don't...
没关系，我认识这家伙,他是"基"古拉伯爵 What?
It's okay, cause I know this guy.
It's count Fagula.
嘿，别骂人 Hey, hey, hey! Don't swear.
抱歉 -我们是什麽？ - Sorry... they... they... - We're werewolves.
我们是狼人(werewolf), 我们不咒駡(swearwolf) - Not swearwolves. - What are we?
我们是什麽 We're werewolves, not swearwolves.
我们是狼人(werewolf), 我们不咒駡(swearwolf) - No, listen, that's offensive... - That's a really offensive word to call people.
那可是很冒犯人的话.
让我们聊聊棍子吧 Well, at least you're talking about a bundle of sticks.
这有个棍子 Please, this bundle of sticks...
别追，那个是骗你的. Werewolves?
- No, no, no! - Don't get it! Nathan it's not real.
他脱下手套了 He's just gonna take of his gloves.
嘿，你tm想干什麽？ Ah, shit, man! Why the fuck did you do that for?
别咒駡，我们会失去冷静的 Hey! Don't swear. We're gonna lose it. We're gonna lose it.
冷静. 迪昂! - Whoa, whoa, whoa! - Hey.
冷静 Calm down. Calm down!
- Get the fuck my glasses! - Dion! Dion!
Hey, hey, hey, hey!
深呼吸 Do the breathing! Do the breathing.
数到十 Do the breathing. Count to 10, mate. Count to 10.
数到十, 我的朋友，现在你又变回人了 - Come on. - Hold it.
Count to 10, human again.
感谢上帝，今晚不是满月。多谢了，祝你们有个愉快的夜晚 - 10, human again. - It's alright. It's not full moon.
Thanks a lot guys.
- Enjoy your night, yah? - You should be ashamed of yourselves, man.
Great, we didn't want this to happen.
加油，伙计们. -别喷口水，小婊子们 - Come on guys. - Hey!
Say it! Don't spray it, bitch!
克裡夫! 你为什麽老是咒駡 Declan!
- Why are you swearing all the time?! - Well, he ride with me...
他们真的是狼人？ - Were they actually werewolves? - Yeah.
是的 Are you okay, Stu?
你还好吧, Stu?
我不知道要怎麽开始。以前没做过这个 I just don't really know how to...
... approach this, cause I never done it before.
他是个好朋友，我不想毁掉这份友谊 Um, and he is a good friend.
And I don't wanna...
可当被发现你是个吸血鬼时，你还能做什麽呢？ ... I don't want to break that friendship but..
... then again, what do you do when someone tells you, that they're a vampire?
我想他会又气又怕 I'm expecting him to be angry.
可能会有很多情绪 He might be scared and expecting lot of things to, to bubble to the surface.
你大概已经觉察到我最近变了很多 You probably noticed, it has been...
... I've been going through a few changes lately.
是的 - Yeah. - Yeah?
是吧? Yeah.
是的 Like...
你知道，我不再出来一起吃午餐了 I don't show up for lunch anymore.
是的 - Yeah. - Have...
我还把我们的网球比赛都改到了晚上. ... changed the story of all of Tina's games.
The night time, Tina's games.
没错 Right...
你以前总是把我打得很惨，可上次我赢了 And how you went from beating me
every time and how I
I've won the last 3?
是啊 Yeah.
我带你来这裡是要告诉你 So...
The reason I brought you here...
... is to tell you that...
我是个吸血鬼 ... I'm a vampire.
Stu很好的接受了这个 Stu took it pretty well.
他是我最好的朋友 He's definitely my best mate.
我不会咬他的 And I'm not gonna eat him.
如果他们要请你吃意粉，千万别吃。 But if they ever offer you bisghetti...
Um.... you shouldn't eat it.
我想他们拿饼乾招待了我 They offered me biscotti.
吸血鬼不会吃同伴的 Vampire mates don't eat human mates.
就算我想，我也不会吃他的 And no matter how much I want to eat him...
因为他是我朋友 ... I will never eat him cause he's my mate.
对吧，stu - Right, Stu? - Yah.
是啊
Yeah.
Stu非常赞.我们都喜欢他 Stu is great.
We really like him.
起初我很想吃了他，但现在，我很高兴能够认识他 At first I wanted to kill him.
But now I'm glad I've spent the time to get to know him.
他红润的脸颊使他看起来很美味 Yeah, of course he looks delicious with his big red cheeks.
但我们达成了协议，不会吃Stu. But we've all got an agreement that we're not going to eat Stu.
对吧？ -没错 - Right? - Right.
上面那些人都喜欢他 The guys upstairs, they... They're loving him.
上面那些人都喜欢他 That's ... it started off with, 'Who's this human you're bringing into the house?'
刚开始他们对把人类带进来很不满， 但现在他们比我还要喜欢他 But it took them literally 2 minutes and
they like him more than they like me, I reckon.
我织了条围巾给stu I'm knitting a scarf for Stu.
来攻击，用你的双腿 Try it again. Use your legs.
Wow.
退后并阻挡 - Step back... - Punching high.
高拳
高 - Yep. - Hi.
没错 Yep.
我想说的是... I'm just, what I'm trying to say is...
你把我变成了吸血鬼 ... cause I know that you...
但请不要这样对他 ... you turned me into a vampire.
Maybe don't do that to him.
他是个素食者 He's a... vegetarian.
所以吃肉喝血是他最不愿意干的事了 Last thing he'd want to is eat...
... a life-being or eat blood or eat meat...
我在控制这个 - I am controlling this. - Get it, get it!
抓到了 Quite amazing to see how far technology can go forward
看到科技在你不经意间取得如此 快速的进步实在是太不可思议了
if you're not paying attention.
收到了一条新消息 One message received.
"你身后有十字架." There is a crucifix behind you.
按这些然后对好焦 So, done on it, or like, half way down and focus it.
然后微笑 Maybe smile.
所以你想找的任何东西都可以 . - Anything you want to find, you... - Yeah.
- You can type your name here. - I've lost...
是啊，在这裡输入 ... a really nice silk scarf in about 1912.
我在1912年丢了条非常好的丝绸围巾
穀歌一下. Yes, now Google it.
Stu是我很久以来的第一个人类朋友 Stu is the first human friend that I've had for long time.
-人总是会死的 -是啊... With humans there's a tendency to die.
我们可以看到她的照片 Yeah.
We can look at her photos.
恩 - Ah, oh yes. - Or you can poke her.
或查看她的资料 （poke her 也有戳她的意思）
是啊. Yes.
我们能看到日出吗? Can we see a movie with sunrise?
哦 - What? Shit! - Whoo...
真漂亮 Nice...
如果我们选择了图片，就可以查看处女的照片了 If you push images, than we can see pictures of virgins.
- Ah, yes. Yes. - Yah, yah...
她应该不是处女，如果她那麽做的话 I don't think she's a virgin if she's doing that.
就是他了，这是我的老僕人飞利浦 There he is, yeah.
This is my old servant, Phillip.
我们打给他 -好的 ... - So, we're gonna call him. - Yeah.
And...
...screen...
是他了! 就是菲利普! My God, that's him, that's him, that's him, that's Phillip, that's Phillip.
主人! - He looks old.
过去很久了，可你看上去还是老样子.
告诉我，你找到凯瑟琳了吗?
恩，不需要著急，爱是值得等待的
听著，菲利普，你付错邮资了
什麽
你给棺材的邮资错了.
所以我用了很久才到这裡.
主人
你答应把我变成吸血鬼的
而我现在都90岁了
你答应过我的，而我现在都这麽老了
很高兴看到你，菲利普.
我一生中除了等待没干别的..
Rita Angus 敬老院
就像穀歌地图? Yeah, kind of like youth romance, but like more, more layers.
是啊，差不多，不过信息更多
你看过暮光之城吗? Maybe Twilight, have you seen it?
我就跟暮光之城男主一样 Okay, I'm the main guy in Twilight. You now the main guy?
你知道男主吗 Twilight?
就是我 That's me.
有摄像机一直跟著我 Cameras following me around.
他们本可以选别人的 They could have chosen anyone.
有多少人知道你们是吸血鬼 How many people have you told you are a vampire?
没多少 - Not many. - I heard that girl...
我听到那个姑娘在谈论这个，说你是个吸血鬼 ... talking about that you said you were a vampire.
是啊，我跟她说了 Yeah, I told her.
你还跟谁说了? - Who else? - Who did you tell?
的辣妹朋友 Uh, I told her hot friend.
你不能告诉任何人！ You can't tell everyone that you're a vampire.
这家伙是谁？ Who's that guy?
我不认识，但我信任他 I don't know but I told him.
告诉我你不是跟所有人说了 You can't tell everyone.
我是个吸血鬼
吸血鬼! Yeah, I've got a bit of an eye condition.
我眼睛有点问题
怎麽了 What's wrong with him?
吸血鬼眼睛,我不能见阳光 Um, vampire eyes. Can't go into the sun.
你的尖牙是真的吗？ Oh, my God, is that your fangs?
是啊 非常真 For real?
For real, real.
我是个吸血鬼！ I'm a vampire.
那我是个吸血鬼猎人 - What? - Yeah.
- I'm a vampire hunter. - No, you're not.
你根本不是，混球。Skype上见 - No? - You fucking piece of shit.
I'll Skype you!
我可以变形 I float.
我也是 - I transform into stuff. - Same.
-不，你不行 -可以啊，给你看看 - No you can't. - Yeah.
I'll show you.
现在给我看看，你的吸血鬼把戏 Show me. Show me some of your vampire stuff.
What have I got? Um...
别撒这样的的谎 Don't lie about transforming into shit.
暮光之城! - Twilight! - Shut up, Nick!
闭嘴，尼克! 你才不是暮光!
-你有什麽问题吗？ -你就是我的问题，告诉所有人我们是吸血鬼 You're not Twilight.
- What's your problem? - You are my problem.
Telling the world that we are vampires.
现在我要告诉全世界你是个混球 And I'll tell the whole world that you're an asshole now.
闭嘴 Shut up!
-闭嘴!-你闭嘴 - Shut up! - Guys?
- You shut up! - No, you shut up!
- No, you shut up. - You shut up.
我是德古拉! I'm Dracula, man!
不，你不是 You're not Dracula! - I'm Dracula!
我是德古拉! You don't even know who Dracula is!
你甚至都不认识德古拉是谁 You idiot!
蝙蝠决斗! - Oh, bat fight! - Bat fight! Oh, yah, yah, yah!
哦，迪肯..这不公平 Ah, Deacon!
That wasn't fair, man!
我的外套啊，伙计 My fucking jacket, man!
我才不在乎你的蠢外套呢 I don't care about your stupid jacket.
- Deacon! - You okay, man?
嘿，Stu， 你的蠕虫怎麽样? - Hey, Stu? - Mm-hm?
How's your worms?
什麽? -你在吃蠕虫. Alright.
You're eating worms.
Can you do that shit when you turn them into worms?
你能把它们变成蠕虫吗？ -炸薯条不行. No.
Doesn't work on chips.
必须得像蠕虫的东西才可以. Only works on things that already look like worms.
-也许麵条可以? 你想要吃点儿麵条吗？ - Maybe noodles. Do you want some noodles? - He knows now.
现在他都知道了
我可不会吃这个 Oh no. I wouldn't eat that.
为什麽？ Why?
你还好吗，尼克? Are you okay Nick?
Alright?
他吃了炸薯条 He ate fried chip.
现在我连食物都不能吃了。不能晒日光浴，不能看日间电视 I can't eat salads now, great.
I can't sunbath.
I can't watch daytime TV.
I can if I could, or I guess I could.
炸薯条是我最爱的食物，现在也不能吃了 More, more then ever just the chips.
My favorite food. I can't eat chips.
这感觉... 做吸血鬼太糟了 I don't... it's just...
I hate...
I said it. I'm over being a vampire. It's shit.
So, don't, don't believe the hype.
Jackie?!
杰基!我能进来吗 Jackie, can I come in please?
大家去睡觉 - Okay, off to bed, guys! - Hello, children!
嘿，孩子们! - Don't look at the men. - You want me to kill this?
别看他
Don't look at the men!
我本来打算今晚咬你的，但现在不可能了，因为尼克成了吸血鬼, I was going to bite you tonight.
Really?
But now I can't because there's this Nick being a vampire.
我以为你之前杀了他的? Sorry, sorry, I thought you killed him 2 months ago.
没有，他现在是吸血鬼 No, I didn't...no... he's a vampire.
你什麽意思 What do you mean?
他插到你前面去了 He jumped in front of your place.
我要说 All I'm saying is that, um...
如果我有jj的话，也许早就被咬了 You know if I had a penis, I would have been...
I would have been bitten years ago.
现在我得惩罚你 I might have to penalize you.
再过几年，也许10年 Perhaps another couple of years. Maybe 10 years.
他们咬彼此的jj，他们根本不穿男式衬衣，而是穿女式的 Hm?
Like one big circle, just biting each others dicks.
You know, they don't even wear shirts, they wear blouses. It's, it's just...
他们有自己的基佬咬JJ俱乐部 ... a big homo-erotic dick biting club.
而我 却站这儿，熨这些该死的衣服 And I'm stuck here, ironing their fucking frills.
还要清理浴室，那裡到处都是血.好吧，明天见 Also clean the bathroom, please.
It's blood everywhere. It is gruesome.
Okay, see you tomorrow.
Off to bed, please.
Katherine.
凯瑟琳... She was so charming and nice.
她真是太迷人了,她是我梦想的一切 She was everything I wanted.
不幸的是她结婚了 Unfortunately...
... yeah, she was married.
我当然想过杀掉那男人，砍下他的头，喝光他的血 Sure, I wanted to kill the guy.
I thought about, chopping his head off.
Draining him of every drop of blood that he had.
谁不会呢？ Who wouldn't?
但我看到她是那麽的开心 But then, I also saw how happy she was.
她开心我也就开心了 And that made me kind of happy.
我不想毁掉她的幸福- And I didn't want to ruin it for her, so...
所以我退出了 I did the honorable thing and I just...
... stepped back.
让她过自己的生活 And let her live her life.
皮特 Petyr!
Where is it?
Petyr!
水! Get water!
阳光! - Get out of the sunlight! - Get water! Get water!
去取水来! Get water! Petyr, get away from the sunlight!
小心阳光，皮特 -呆在阴影处
Get in the shadows, Petyr!
Get out of the sunlight!
让开 Get out of my way!
-我在这裡, 皮特！ 我要下去救你 不可以，太阳太大了 I'm going in!
I'm coming Petyr!
- Deacon, no, it's sunlight! - I'm coming for you!
现在是大太阳 It's sunlight out there!
It's sunlight!
太迟了 I was too late.
关了这个 Turn that thing off.
我们的朋友刚刚被阳光杀死了! Our friend had just been killed in a fatal sunlight accident.
我想事情可能是这样的... So this is what I think happened.
吸血鬼猎人从这裡破窗而入- The vampire hunter...
... broke into the window here.
踩在这个桌子上 弄坏了桌子腿儿. Has impacted the table. Breaking the table leg.
然后从这裡走向坟墓. Then he has come this way.
Towards the tomb.
盖上十字架! Crucifix!
Cover the crucifix!
而皮特从坟墓裡跳出来，把石门推向猎人 And then...
... Petyr has burst from the tomb.
Pushed the tomb lid on to the vampire hunter.
阳光正好从这裡射进来，把皮特活活烧死了 And then the sunlight has come through here.
And burned Petyr alive.
这也许就是普通桌子腿。 Think this is just a table leg, which is...
... sanded down.
- Do you think he hand sanded that, or? - Yes.
是啊，想像下把这个插进... Image that, stuck in your...
这下面太可怕了 It's quite shocking down here, Nick.
尼克，这是我们的好皮特 Look, here's our sweet Petyr.
被烧焦了 - Fucking hell. - Burnt to a sizzle.
我分不清这家伙的正反面 - I can't figure out this. - This is the vampire hunter.
脑袋上都是血 Is this Franco?
- Uh, who's this guy? - Look at this...
... bloody head, back to front.
把他翻过来，从另一边翻，另一边 Twist it the other way, the other way!
我们就可以看看是谁了 Let's see who this guy is.
典型的肌肉男 - Hm, typical macho type. - Yuck!
真可怕 It is.
Oh, shit!
- 我认识他 你认识他？ I know that guy.
- Actually. - You know him?
是的 - Yeah. - What?
什麽 I saw him the other night in town.
我们在城裡见过
我说我是吸血鬼 Told him I was a vampire.
什麽？！ What?!
他开玩笑说他是吸血鬼猎人. I thought he was joking. He said he was a vampire hunter.
你把个吸血鬼猎人引到我们家裡来? You let a vampire hunter into our house?
没有，他只有我的电子邮箱而已. - I just gave him my e-mail. - Nick!
我要把你的舌头拔下来 Take out your tongue.
我要杀了你 And shove it down your ass.
Fucking hell!
你的大嘴巴害死了皮特 You and your big mouth!
我不是有意的 It was a mistake!
起来 Get up and stand on this ceiling like a man.
像男人一样站在天花板上
冷静！我们好好谈谈 We can talk it out, yeah, man?
我要杀了你！-我已经死了 We can talk it out, mate!
- I'll kill you! - I'm already dead!
小心，Stu Stu, stay back!
敲门声。我去开门 Someone's at the door.
Go, go.
哦，卧槽 ... Oh, shit.
晚上好 -你好，警察 - Good evening, sir. - Hello, police.
我们是警察L和M. 我们接到入室盗窃的报告,有尖叫声传出来 Hi, I'm constable O'Leary. This is constable Minogue.
We're just responding to a report of a possible forced entry and also...
... a rather large amount of shrieking.
我们可以进去看看嘛？ Just, um, wondering maybe we could come in and just have a wee look around?
好的-为什麽这裡有个摄像机? Okay.
What's with the fellow? What's with the camera?
我们来这裡是因为接到报告说这裡有很大动静 Yeah, we're obviously just here cause there was a phone call
from the, a member of the public, um, about a bit of disturbance.
很可能是入室抢劫，而且有烟雾出现 Um, some loud noises.
- Possibly a forced entry, wasn't there? - Um...
And, also, maybe a bit of smoke coming out, so...
我们只是来确定一切正常， We're just checking over the scene. Making sure every thing's uh...
You know, above board sort of speaking, uh...
没人有危险 Making sure no ones in danger, that kind of thing.
我们只是想上去看看一切都好 We might go up and have a wee look up there, if that's alright with you?
-你来带路. 恩... - Come on mate, you lead the way. - Just a little tour. Yeah.
这裡闻起来很奇怪 Okay.
- Smells a bit weird here too, mate. - Yeah.
What do you call that?
你们不会发现这裡有什麽异常. Barbecue.
我希望没有 You will not notice anything out of the ordinary.
No, we certainly hope not. Let's just...
Lets just keep going.
海，大家还好吗 - Hi there guys. How are yah? - Hello.
很好 Hi fellas.
海，伙计们 We've just wondering where all the shouting was coming from?
尖叫声是从这裡传出来的吗?
那是我 That was me.
-我们收到了报告. -邻居的吗？ Yeah, okay, we've had a couple reports, okay?
A couple of people not happy with the level of noise here.
Okay.
The neighbors?
You got neighbors on either side.
我很紧张，我对他们实施了催眠， Feeling nervous.
I've hypnotized those cops.
但我不是很擅长这个，他们随时会醒来 I'm not a great hypothesizer so it could wear off any second.
我希望他们不要杀警察，因为会引来更多 I really hope that those guys don't kill those police
because then this means more police will come.
可能还会有基督徒，这是我们最不愿意看到的 Possibly even Christians which is totally the last things we need in this house.
我明白你们在快活，但动静别太大，好吗？ I can see you're having a good time. End of the day...
... we got to keep the, uh, the peace, okay?
Whoa, whoa, whoa...
你看到了吗? See what I'm seeing?
什麽？ Is that even ok?
开玩笑吗？ You're joking?
这裡没有烟雾警报器 Not a smoke alarm in sight.
你们必须装烟雾探测器 No smoke detectors, mate?
这是第一点注意事项 Rule number 1:
烟雾探测器 Smoke detectors.
好的 Okay.
第二点，不要在室内烧烤 Rule number 2: maybe not so many barbeque's inside.
好的 - Sorry fellas. - Okay.
这下面味道更重了 - Barbeque's? - That was really strong there, ain't it?
是啊 What kind of marinade?
那是谁 Who's this guy?
来参加派对的一个朋友 Um...
It's a friend who came to our party.
你还好吗？ Mate, you're alright?
他只是喝醉了 - He's drunk. - That's what I thought.
我想是的 Drunk guy.
喝醉了 You can't just leave him down here like that, okay?
你们不能就让他躺在这儿，他明天醒来会很难受的
This guy's not having a good time.
He's gonna feel terrible tomorrow morning.
他的灵魂在地狱裡. Well, he's soul is in hell, so...
我不知道地狱在哪儿，但哪裡有毯子？ Well, I don't know where's his soul's at, but all I am saying, where is his blanket?
他有个水泥挡板了 Who left the concrete on?
是啊 - Yeah, you can move him there? - It's definitely not going to be comfortable.
但这个不够舒服 - Seen anything else in there? - No, I think I've seen enough.
还有什麽?
不，我都看过了 - Okay. - Hang on a minute.
等等，这是什麽? What have we got here?
-这个？ -这个. - What is that? - This?
这个太危险了 - Oh, this? - Are you seeing this clearly as I can?
这个乳胶是可燃的 Adhesive, mate.
That's a flammable.
上面就有灯，还有插座 And then you got a lamp on top of that.
Directly underneath the power source.
这样可不好 - That is quite bad. - It's very bad.
这裡也没有烟雾警报器. And no smoke detectors again are there?
恩，有的. -是啊，我现在看到了 - No. - Yes, there are.
- Yes, there are. - Okay, that's good.
有很多要考虑的 Lots to think about guys.
我们可以继续吗？ - Yeah, lots to think about there guys. - Next flat-meeting, yeah.
讨论下这个，这样你们就能好好解决了 Yeah, good thinking, that's the thing, just...
- ... have a bit of dialogue about it. - Okay.
没错 - They've got a really good point. - Wait!
让我们干掉他们吧? Let's kill them.
别 Well, let's just see what other safety...
我们看看他们还有什麽建议，也许之后再杀了他们, - Stay here and then maybe we'll... - Yeah.
我宣佈对尼克的审判开始 I call into session,
this trial of Nick,
of Wellington.
宣读指控. Read the charges.
"有关尼克的问题." Problems we have with Nick.
"第一条:你带了个人类进来，这是绝对禁止的 " Number 1:
You brought a human into our house.
Stu 做的不错 - Which is a big no-no in the vampire world. - Stu is, Stu is okay though?
是啊，stu很好，那就把这条划掉吧 Yeah, Stu is fine, so I guess we'll just...
... cross that one out.
Uh...
谢谢你, Stu.谢谢你, Stu. - Thank you Stu. - Thank you Stu.
新的第一条: So...
The new number 1:
"尼克告诉别人自己是个吸血鬼." Nick's been telling people he's a vampire.
"这导致我们被一个吸血鬼猎人入侵了 " That in turn resulted in...
... an unwanted visit from a vampire hunter.
"第二条" 这个非常严重，尼克 Crime number 2:
This is quite a bigy, Nick.
"那个吸血鬼猎人杀死了皮特. " The vampire hunter who killed Petyr.
这个属 第一条，但我们希望强调这一点 That's... I actually should've... that should have been crime number one
"第三条：迪肯不喜欢你穿跟他一样的外套" but we wanted to build up to that.
Number 3:
Deacon doesn't like that your wear the same jacket as him.
"他要你找到自己的穿衣风格" And he would like you to find your own original style.
基于以上罪责，吸血鬼法庭判决尼克有罪 For these crimes of which
we the vampire council find you guilty...
你被无限期地禁止进入这所公寓 ... you should be banished from our flat.
-无限期地. -无限期地 Indefinitely.
- Indefinitely? - Indefinitely.
所以我以后还可以回来? So I can come back?
不行 No, no, indefinitely means that there is no end.
无限期的意思是永远
我想 I thought that there was no...
无限期是说没有确切的结束时间 No, indefinite means that it's not a definite thing.
反正要很久 Yeah, but it's long.
也许是明天，也许任何一天 Could be tomorrow, it could be 6 months.
不，不可能是明天 NO! No, it is not tomorrow!
至少要六个月 - You get about at least 6 moths. - Banished!
你被逐出了 You are banished.
你想的话还是可以来, Stu. But Stu, you can visit if you like.
谢谢你. Thank you.
作为对你罪行的惩罚, 你应该被处以羞辱游行 For your crimes...
... you will be made to suffer...
... the procession...
我跟他们说过，尼克，请他们不要通过这个惩罚的 ... of shame.
I asked them Nick, I asked them not to pass that sentence.
我想我们应该立即执行惩罚. We should do this immediately.
你根本就没跟我们提过 - In my opinion. - You didn't ask.
你说可以的 You didn't ask. You were saying yes.
这个必须执行 - I did... - Well, this is what's going to happen.
我确实觉得惩罚有点极端了 I still think it's quite extreme.
让我们开始耻辱游行吧. Let us do the procession of shame.
Now.
-耻辱！耻辱!耻辱! 耻辱! - Shame. - Shame!
Shame. Shame. Shame!
-坏吸血鬼! Shame!
耻辱! - Shame. - Bad vampire!
Shame.
我们走吧, Stu? Should we go Stu?
拜拜, Stu. Bye Stu.
拜拜
真是可惜 That was a shame.
几个月后
今天我们收到今年盛会的邀请 So today we have an invitation.
To the big event of the year.
我来打开 ... Breaking it open.
他们有把信纸边烧焦 They have burned the edges.
就像个藏宝图 - Like a treasure map or something. - It looks very authentic, doesn't it?
看起来很真 'Dearly departed...'
"亲爱的亡者们.." 就是我们
That's us.
"威灵顿的吸血鬼协会" 'The Wellington vampire association in conjunction with the
- "以及吸血鬼女巫俱乐部和僵尸社团 " lower-hat-vampire-witch club
and the Kurory-zombie society
"邀请你们参加六月六日举办的邪恶化妆舞会. " invite you to attend The Unholy Masquerade on the night of the 6th of June...
"于晚上六点开始."
... starting at 6 PM.'
- 666... - Oh, yeah...
噢耶 The Unholy Masquerade of course is great time for the undead community of Wellington.
这个化妆舞会对威灵顿的不朽生灵来说可是非常棒的
会有僵尸，吸血鬼，女巫...我们会一起跳舞 There's zombies there. Vampires, banshees, all having a dance together.
这对我可是个大事 It's all a big deal for me.
我爱死它了 Love it.
有一年我装扮成乌比?戈德堡 One year I went to The Unholy Masquerade dressed as
Whoopi Goldberg from Sister Act...
在修女也疯狂1、2裡的造型 ... 1 and Sister Act 2: Back in the Habit.
那不是太好，因为她是个修女
Didn't go down so well because she was a nun.
吸血鬼可不喜欢修女 Vampires don't like nuns.
化装舞会最重要的一部分是他们会评选出荣誉嘉宾 Of course the big deal of The Unholy Masquerade
is that every year they announce the guest of honor.
And...um...
我不知道该不该说，但.. I don't know if I should be saying this but...
我听小道消息说今年的荣誉嘉宾会是我 I heard a little rumor
that the guest of honor this year...
... might be me.
地址？ -对啊在哪儿？ "绝望教堂" The location...
- Oh, yeah, where is it? - Where's the location?
Detrol of Despair.
"本年的荣誉嘉宾会是..." And the guest of honor will be...
谁啊？让我看看 Who is it? Show me.
Hm.
好吧 好吧... Okay.
这太没道理了! Okay.
- Okay. Okay, that's fine. That's fine. - Okay?
Vladislav...
... has...
Vladislav 对刚刚得到的消息做出了反应 ... just had a reaction to the information that the guest of honor will be...
今年的荣誉客人是"野兽" ... um... The Beast.
我心灵中最黑暗的角落被"野兽"佔据著 The darkest part of my mind
is reserved to The Beast.
我们可以告诉关于他的一些事 We can tell you a thing or two about The Beast.
你应该祈祷自己不会见到"野兽" You should pray that you never have to see The Beast.
这个被称作"野兽" This one is called The Beast.
然后他们说 "把你的手从我的蛋蛋上拿开, 野兽" And I said, 'Get you hands off my balls, Beast!'
他也许告诉你他跟"野兽"的伟大较量 He may have told you some stories about his
great battle with The Beast.
"哦，我在悬崖上跟野兽大战, 哦，我在沼泽裡跟野兽大战... " Yeah, oh, 'I fought The Beast on a cliff.'
Oh... 'I fought The Beast in a swamp.'
"有一次我们在夜店的洗手间裡大战 " 'One time I fought The Beast in the toilettes of a night club.'
艰难的战斗 Difficult battle.
我希望你永远不会见到"野兽" I hope you never see The Beast.
"野兽" The Beast.
你不能打扮成刀锋战士去舞会,他是个吸血鬼猎人 You can't go the the ball as Blade.
He's a vampire hunter.
吸血鬼喜欢韦斯利?斯奈普斯(刀锋主演). Yeah, but vampires love Wesley Snipes.
这太不合适了 It's inappropriate.
好吧，Vlad ..要绿色的马裤还是有 龙形饰带的黑皮裤？ Okay, Vlad? The Green Jortes,
or the Black Leather with the Dragon Belt?
这裡出现危机 -选一条你要的 - We're have a mild crises here. - Doesn't matter which pants you were, just...
看一下这些裤子 - What do you want with me? - Just look at the pants Vlad!
看一下这些裤子, Vlad! Look at the pants!
就只是裤子而已! Enough with the pants!
我勒个去! 真见鬼 - Shit, man! - Holy shit!
你看起来太可怕了 Oh, you look terrible.
黑色那条 The black pants.
-谢谢你.穿上吧 Thank you. Get dressed!
我不确定我能不能去 I don't know if I feel up to it, really.
你看起来不太精神，但你可以在路上吃个人 You don't look that great but if you eat someone on the way...
就会青春点了 If you ate a little bit? - You could probably wear a mask or something.
-也许你能戴个面具什麽的
别打扰我在网上竞价. Just leave me to do my dark biding on the Internet!
你在竞投什麽东西? What are you biding on?
一个桌子 I'm biding on a table.
你到底走不走？ - Are you coming or not? - Not.
不 I'm gonna go change. We're leaving in 10 minutes.
我要去换衣服了，我们10分钟后出发.
Have a good time!
绝望教堂
哈喽!
我们老是这种姿势，你知道... We waited often, without giving into that kind of...
我已经厌烦了 stuff which I'm really sick of that but you know...
It just that, it's a hard frustration...
这样很难追到人类 takes people down.
让我来介绍Gary 和Alicia. 嘿 -嘿 Come on. Can I introduce, um...
- Aaron and Alisha. - Hi, how are you?
呻吟得有点儿过了 Hi.
- Hi. - Less moaning guys.
现在我们在邪恶化装舞会. 太棒了 So we are at The Unholy Masquerade.
It's great.
这是我的面具，我为了今晚特别做的 This is my mask.
Which I made for the occasion.
杰基?这是不死族的聚会啊 Hey!
- Jackie. -Yeah!
- This is undead party. - Yeah, I'm a vampire.
是啊，我是吸血鬼 You...?
我是吸血鬼。 太好了 I'm a vampire. I'm a vampire!
-谁咬了你? -尼克 - Great. - Yeah, yeah.
- So, um, who bit you? - Oh, Nick.
-哦，好吧，好吧 -迪肯！ - Oh great. - Yeah.
Okay.
Deacon!
这样很无礼，她是我的僕人 Pretty rude, because she was my...
她是个没用的僕人 ... servant.
She was a pretty useless servant.
- I wouldn't... - Yeah, yeah, but still, it would have been...
a如果你咬她前先问下我，我会很感激的Anyway, it would thankful you ask me, ... appreciated if you'd asked...
Stu还好吗? -很好，他在那儿 How's Stu?
- He's good. He's here.
-Stu! -嘿！你好吗? - Oh, his here? - Stu! STU!
Hey, hey!
Hey!
-有人看起来想要吃掉你吗? -没有 Has anyone looked at you like they want to eat you, at all?
Ah, no...
后面的听得到我说话吗? Can you hear me at the back?
我代表威灵顿吸血鬼社团 On behalf of the Wellington vampire society...
-以及吸血鬼女巫俱乐部和僵尸家族欢迎各位光临 ... uh, with lower-hat vampire and witch club.
And the Kurory Zombie society, we welcome you here tonight.
我们今年有鲜肉礼包的抽奖活动，就在那边. We're raffling a live big pet this year, you could see
the prize over here on my left.
很优惠，奖券只要10美元一张，5张只要45美元 It's a wonderful prize.
I thinks it's a 10 dollars each or 45 dollars for a book of five.
现在到了介绍今年荣誉来宾的时刻 Now without further adieu, it's my very great pleasure
to introduce to you this years guest of honor.
波琳 伊凡诺维奇! Pauline Ivanovich!
谢谢你 Thank you.
这就是"野兽". That's The Beast.
野兽是我给前女友波琳的称呼. Thank you.
The Beast is, uh, the name I gave to my ex-girlfriend Pauline.
她更喜欢波琳 She prefers Pauline.
我们曾有一段热烈的关系 We had a very intense relationship.
充满了激烈的性生活. We were very...
... sexually explosive.
我上一次见她的时候，她甩了我，叫我混蛋 Last time I saw her, she impelled me and called me an asshole.
她说了很多伤我的话 She said...
... all kinds of things that really hurt me.
而那会我被插在路灯柱上呢 And all this while I was impelled on a lamp post.
大家好，我会在人群中到处转转 Well, everyone, I will be mingling around and I really hope that...
我真希望能够认识你们所有人
... I will meet...
... all of you.
你好 Hello.
那是她的新男友 That's the new guy.
他是吸血鬼吗？ What, what kind of vampire... if he is a vampire. Did you see his face?
你看到他的脸了吗?
Oh... oh.
-哈喽 -海，你好吗. - Hello! - Hi, how are you?
-这是迪肯. -你好 - This is Deacon. - Hello Deacon.
-这是 Stu.-你好 - This is Stu. - Good day Stu.
- How are you my friend? - Good.
Hi. Stu.
-朱利安-你的手真暖和 You got really warm hands too.
你是魔鬼? You a demon?
不，他不是 - No, he's not a demon! - I'm a software analyst.
-我是软件分析师 -过来点儿 Stu. - Stu, Stu, Stu... - Am I a witch?
-去跟什麽人跳跳舞吧 -好的 -慢慢来 Go dance, uh, with anyone.
- Sure. - Okay, take your time.
-我喜欢Stu. 他不是吸血鬼，那是僵尸吗? I like Stu. He's not vampire, or a zombie...
-男巫? - Am I a witch? - He's not...
都不是，他更像是个人类 He not uh... he's neither, he's uh... more of a human.
借过，借过- 海 Excuse me, excuse me. Hi, Nick, hey.
Um, Nick...
尼克...如果Stu被杀了的话，你会不会介意呢? Do you mind if Stu is killed?
这当然不好受. Uh, I don't feel real good about it.
我能问你个私人的问题吗? Can I, can I just ask you, you know, a...
当然 - ... a personal question? - Sure.
你已经死了吗？-唉.. Are you, um....
... are you, are you, are you predeceased?
Uh...
如果谁要吃他的话，当然该是我们。但我们不会这麽做 If anyone's gonna eat him is gonna be us but we're not, we're passed it.
They can just go fuck themselves.
这都是你的错，尼克。谁让你带个人类过来 Nick! It is your fault.
Okay? You brought a human into this den of vampis nest.
上面说可以携伴出席的. - You're not helping. - Yes, you did.
他是我的伴儿啊 - Plus one. - Lovely talking to you, I've got to shout off now.
很高兴认识你，我得走了，待会见
See you later on.
一旦有人咬了第一口，就会在这裡引起血腥狂欢 As soon as one vampire takes a bite, it's a frenzy!
我们得把他带走 - A frenzy! - Okay, we've got to get him out.
跟著我，跟著我 借过。抱歉，伙计们 Okay, follow me, follow me.
Excuse me, sorry guys.
Stu ...举著这个 挡住你充满血色的脸 Okay, Stu.
Put that over your red face.
现在我们出去抽根烟 - Just going out for a cigarette. - Oh, hey!
哈喽 - Okay, not that way. - This way.
这边. - This way. - Is there another way?
这裡有别的出口吗？
退后。我是吸血鬼 - Get away from the vampires. - Guys...
打扰一下 Excuse me everyone!
能听我说两句吗 Can I have your attention please.
某些吸血鬼忘记了这裡的规矩 Some of the vampires forget Unholy Masquerade rules.
他们带了个人类进来 They brought a human.
还不让我们享用他 And they don't let us to feast on him.
这完全是个误会,邀请函有点问题 This was a total misunderstanding.
There was on the invitation, and this actually pertains to you...
事实上都是你的错。邀请上写"可携伴出席"
... the invitation, it said,
- plus one, but it did not specify... - Okay.
可是并没有注明不可以是人类，或者狼人 ... - Wait, look... - If it could be a human or
if it could be werewolf or...
他可能是个吸血鬼猎人 . Yeah, but he could be a vampire hunter for all we know.
说不定他会叫同伴过来举办个吸血鬼BBQ. He could texting his mates, saying, 'I've got them all under one place
come on over. We'll have a vampire barbecue!'
他根本不是的 Well, he's not, he's not doing that.
我们怎麽知道？ How do we know that?
他带著领结的。仔细看看他 告诉我你做什麽的Stu He's wearing a bow-tie, look at him!
来吧，告诉我们, Stu! 告诉我们你做什麽的, Stu. Stu, tell them what you do.
Come on Stu! Tell us what you do. Come on.
海, 我叫Stu. Tell them what you do, Stu.
- Hi, my name is Stu uh... - Don't fuck it up, man.
-我听不到 -大声点儿 - I can't hear Stu. - Louder, louder!
海, 我叫Stu. Hi, my name is Stu, uh, I work in...
我听不到 - I can't hear... - Louder.
-大声点儿 -他们听不到，他们听不到 Stu can't hear, they cannot hear you.
我叫Stu. 我是一家地理信息系统公司的软件分析师 Hi, my name is Stu. I'm a software analyst. I work for a geographic information system company.
抱歉，那是什麽？ -Uh... - Sorry, what is it?
I work for a company that does
基本上来说，我们收集用户的需求 basically we take like business requirements from organizations.
然后我们分析这些需求，然后基于需求做出软件 Then we analyze those requirements and then we build software
to fit those requirements.
他是处男！ 他是处男 He is a virgin. He is a virgin!
我大老远都能闻出他的处男味儿. - I can smell a virgin of a thousand paces. - Go on then.
那就滚开去闻你自己吧。 Take your thousand paces and smell yourselves!
我等不了了 I can't wait till you moan them.
不!
你们不可以吃人类 There should be no eating of the human.
伙计，你谁啊？ Who are you all of a sudden?
难道你这麽快就忘了自己的老情人了? You have forgotten your former lover.
So quickly.
-乔治...? -不，不是乔治,在五年之后 Georgie?
No, not...
... Georgie, like, 5-years Saturday.
No.
等一下，就一下 Wait a minute.
-Viago! 不，我得把这个摘掉 Just one moment.
No...
No, I've got it, it's coming, take it away...
海，野兽 -海，混球 Hello Beast.
Hello asshole.
嘿，别叫我"混球" -那也别叫我野兽 - Hey, don't call me asshole! - Don't call me...
这是Vladislav, ... Beast. This is Vladislav. This is me ex-boyfriend. - This is absolutely the same.
我前任 - You know, the one who fucked the police... - Alright, that's old business, that's...
就是那个跟女巫上床的
这是个人隐私
- ... personal business. - Yeah.
-久仰大名，混球 - Nice to meet you asshole. - This is my lover.
这是我情人 You will not feast on the blood of the human known as Stu.
你不该在宴会上喝人血
你这混球，那是人类，规矩就是这样的. Listen asshole, this is a human and
为什麽这儿会有摄像机?这裡一个，那边还有一个 this is the rules and what is cameras doing here?
One, and then another one, what is this?
我们在拍纪录片 They're making a documentary on...
这是秘密社群，你知道不该被拍下来的 This is a private secret society mate,
you don't go bringing your bloody cameras into everything.
你们不能吃Stu。也不能吃摄像师们 You will not eat Stu and you will not eat the camera guy.
也许可以吃一个摄像 - Maybe one camera guy... - I'm up to bloody here, with you at the moment.
我才不会听你 And all your mates behind there, whoever the hell they are.
还有你的同伴们，不管他们是谁
我们要吃那个人，你们管不了 We're gonna eat the human being.
And there's nothing you can do about it, alright?
滚远点儿，离开这裡 Now back off!
And let my misses get her way.
我什麽都做不了? 那这样如何呢？ Oh, there's nothing I can do about it?
- That's right. - Well, what about this?
把他的脑袋扯下来! Diego, rip his head off.
What do you want?!
吸血鬼决斗! Vampire fight!
打他, Vladislav! Get him Vladislav!
把他的脑袋扯下来
他要杀了他! Rip his head off!
吸血鬼不可以杀死同类! He's killing him!
It is forbidden for vampires...
... to kill a vampire.
这TM什麽鬼? - What the f... - Medic!
What?
你还好吗? Are you okay, love? Get out!
滚开! We should probably go Stu.
我们也许最好离开, Stu.
很高兴见到你, 波琳 It was great to see you,
混球！ - Pauline. - Asshole!
Perfect.
杀人犯! - That was very... how we both... - He's a murderer!
别忘了是我们一起打败他的 We both, together, equally destroyed that guy!
恩 Yeah, but it was more Stu with the giant stick!
这主要是Stu和他的大棍子的功劳. I hope this doesn't make this awkward for you and The Beast.
我希望这不会搞砸你跟波琳的关系?
不，我想这反倒给了我一个新的机会 No, I think it's opened up new possibilities.
Oh, no.
-哦不... -现在让我们继续吧. Here we go again.
Stu! Stu! Stu! Stu, Stu, Stu, Stu!
Stu, Stu, STU!
Stu, Stu, Stu, Stu...
- Stuuu... Stuuu... - Wait, wait, wait, wait, stop!
等等，听著. Listen, listen!
你们闻到了吗? You smell that?
这边. This way.
狼人们 Werewolves.
看看猫咪带我们来到哪儿了 - Oh, no. - Look what the cat dragged in, huh?
边儿去，继续走.今晚别来捣乱 - Piss off. - Keep walking. Don't hassle us tonight.
这没说不让进来啊. -别来打扰我们 There has been no hassle here.
Well, let it stay that way.
快把自己用链子锁起来 Keep chaining yourselves up!
为什麽不穿葬裤子？ Guys, where's your track suite pants?
今晚是洗衣服时间，我老婆把那裤子洗了 It was washing night.
My misses couldn't wash them cause there was too much blood on them.
因为上面沾了好多血，所以... When your legs expand they go into the track suit.
反正腿会胀大，会把这些裤子撑破的,所以要穿宽鬆的裤子 - Oh! - Those jeans are gonna rip completely!
这裤子到时候就撑破了
你们要失去这些裤子了，伙计们 You've lost all those trousers, guys?
迪克兰，那个树太窄了，看看那个，就像个小树枝 Declan, that tree's far too thin!
Look at it! It's like a branch!
你知道自己变身后会变多大吗？ You don't know how big you get when you transform!
你选错树了 That's the wrong tree for you.
Anton, I've...
-安东... -哦不，你忘了密码了？ Oh, no, you've forgot the combination.
那你要什麽密码锁? Why did you get a combination lock?
我昨晚把钥匙丢了 I lost my key last time.
四个零? 初始密码都是这个，对吗? Okay, well, it's probably 4 zeros, that's the factory setting, is it?
滚回树旁边去.混蛋 - Fuck off to a tree. - Hey!
我们是狼人，不可以咒駡 （not swearwolf.） Werewolves, not swearwolves.
我知道，只是变形搞得我压力山大. Yeah, I know, well on transformation nights,
it's alright, alright? I'm getting stressed out.
我只是想提醒你一下 I was just reminding you.
闭嘴，把自己锁好，白痴 Stop talking and chain yourself up you dickhead!
我们要变身了. Honestly, we're transforming.
好吧，我们要走了 Alright, we'll keep walking.
恩，快走吧 - Yeah, keep walking. By the way I find that offensive! - We'll keep walking.
等等。我觉得被冒犯了，那是毛皮吗？ Is it fur?
别盯著那毛皮看! 退回到各自的树跟前 Oh, for crying out loud.
Don't look at the fur everyone. Get back to your trees, okay?
真噁心 - That's disgusting, man. - You're wearing fur.
你居然穿著皮草 Declan!
这不是真皮草 - That's not real fur. - Oh, shit!
我靠
离开这裡! Honestly, get out of here. Take your humans!
把那个人类带走,这个领结男，他要先走，还有摄像 The guy in the bow-tie, he's gonna go first!
快点儿! Get out of here!
大家快点把自己还想要的衣服脱下来. Take all your coats off if you want to keep everyone!
把新外套脱了，内森. Take that army service jacket off...
Get that camera out of my face!
快点!快点! Go, go! Let's go, let's go. Come on!
快跑， Stu! Run, Stu, RUN!
快点!快点! Let's go, let's go!
- They're coming, guys! - Shit!
我抓到一个 I got one!
我的腿，我的腿 My leg! My leg!
哦天啊! Stu! Oh, God!
Stu! Stu!
STU!
Stu!
快离开! Get off me!
你还好吗, Stu? Stu, are you alright?!
Stu!
Ah, fuck!
Fuck off!
快离开! 别碰我! Get off me!
You stinky piece of assholes!
白痴狼人! 别看,尼克! Stupid werewolves!
别盯著血看. Look away Nick!
Don't look at their blood!
不，停下来! Stu!
别碰他，他是个好人 He's a really good dude! Leave him alone!
太晚了，别盯著血看 It's too late for him!
- Don't look at the blood Nick! - Stu!
他在那儿. There he is.
他现在应该还很伤心，看到自己的好朋友 被狼人撕成了碎片. He's probably still a little upset having seen his
best friend disemboweled by werewolves.
Nick!
尼克... 我找到你了 I found you.
Whoa!
真是太可怕了，对吧？. That was pretty full on, heh?
做吸血鬼就是这样 But this is what happens when you are a vampire.
你得看著每个人死去 You have to watch everyone die.
父母，朋友..有时是很残酷的 You're mother and father.
All your friends.
Sometimes brutal.
就像在一堆大长钉上长眠. Like slipping and falling onto a giant spike.
或者睡在一堆秋天落叶上 Or falling asleep.
In an autumn pile of leaves,
其中一些卡在通风口. and having some of them, block your wind pipe.
或者在做面具时犯些简单的错误 Or making the simple mistake,
of fashioning a mask out of crackers,
被鸭子和鹅攻击. and being attacked by ducks.
Geese.
还有天鹅 ... Swans.
也许他们在很老的时候死掉 Or simply dieing of old age.
但即使这样也很残酷 But even old age is brutal.
看著自己的朋友们变老，尿都尿不出来 Watching your friends...
... grow old.
They can't piss.
们会说很多蠢话，而且什麽都不记得了 And they say stupid things and their brains go and they
can't remember anything.
到最后，甚至都不记得你是谁 And then, one day, they can't even remember who you are.
你会希望他们死掉，他们确实会死掉 And you wish they were dead.
And then they do die.
所以我想Stu也许情愿这样. No.
If I know Stu...
... this was probably the way he wanted to go.
被狼人撕成碎片 Disemboweled by werewolves.
血和内脏四散开来挂在树上 Blood and guts,
splat onto the trees.
他的脸也血肉模糊.. His face torned to shreds.
我希望我使你感觉好点儿了。 I hope I made you feel better.
目前为止，我们觉得这像是一起狗袭击人的事件 Ah, well, from what we could see in the beginning
it looks like there's been a bit of a dog attack.
当危险的狗狗被放出来，就会发生这种事 That's really what happens, when you get, you know...
dangerous dogs.
Um, straits, not being looked after.
看起来不太好 This is not good.
是啊，一点儿也不 No, not good at all.
有很多比被狗撕成碎片更好的死法 There's nicer ways to go, then being...
... torn apart, by what looks like a pack of dogs, more than just one.
看起来是一群狗，不止一隻 -我想是的
这些袭击事件在月圆时会变得频繁起来 - I say so. - These attacks have been happening more, more frequent.
They're happening on a monthly bases and and it's just no good for anybody, okay?
这对于汪星人和公众都是很可怕的 Specially not the dogs. Certainly not the community.
我抓到了一隻 I've got the bastard.
One of them here, hey?
看看它,现在必须要杀死它了 That's what I'm talking about. Look at it.
End of the day, this dog is gonna have to be put down.
真是可惜. What a shame.
看看你都做了什麽 Look what you did.
Hey?
它还想继续，还没完了. He's got the scent again, hasn't he? He wants to go again. He's not finished.
就是他们让我变成了狼人
Yeah.
都说吸血鬼的心是冷冰冰的，完全死了 They say that vampires hearts are cold and dead.
Definitely dead.
拜拜，Stu - Bye Stu. - He would have loved his scarf.
他会喜欢这条围巾的
可爱又柔软 It was lovely, loose, knit.
我不知道，但我的心依然是有感觉的 But I don't know. I think I still feel things inside it.
Deacon!
迪肯，醒醒 嘿，Viago. Deacon, wakey, wakey. Hey!
你就坐在这裡睡觉吗？ 窗帘都没拉上，马上就到早晨的 You don't sleep in here. The curtain's opened. It's nearly morning.
这是什麽? -你得多注意点儿这些事情 You want to get sizzled to a crisp.
You know, you could think a little about these things.
好的，对不起，Viago. Okay.
- Sorry Viago. - It's okay.
没关系. - Night, night! Okay.
晚安
收到时间04:20 Received at 4:20 AM:
嘿，伙计们，这裡是吸血鬼尼克。
我有个惊喜给你们
你们肯定会震惊的
Stu! - Stu?! - Hey, Deacon.
嘿！迪肯 - Stu! - How is it?
你怎麽样？ Good to see you.
见到你真好 Look at his face!
看看他的脸 I saw them tear you to shreds!
我看到你被抓烂了 Look! He looks like Seal!
现在他看起来像Seal（脸上有疤的黑人歌手）. They didn't kill me.
他们没有杀死我 - It looks cool. - Thank you, thank you.
看起来很酷
谢谢 Meet some of our friends.
我们带了些朋友来 Anton, Deacon.
安
嘿，迪肯。安东 Hi, Anton.
我肯定是不省人事了 I must have blacked out.
只记得救护车开来了 And then, I remember,
他在抽搐 - an ambulance. - He's going into shock.
我来了 O'Leary. O'Leary!
Yeah, coming!
冷静下来 - Okay, calm down, mate. - Calm down.
冷静下来
狂犬病吧，是吗？ Looks like rabies, doesn't it?
我不记得过了多久才醒了过来 And I don't know how long after that was, but like, woke up.
是在白天 And it was daytime.
场景重现 And I couldn't find my clothes.
我找不到自己的衣服了
我看到了狼人们，他们找到了我 Those werewolves guys...
... eventually found me.
他们给了我条裤子 And they had some,
they like, lent me some pants.
这些人在我迷茫的时候给了我支持 So, yeah, those guys have been supporting me.
Cause I was quite confused.
Yeah, these are the guys who, um,
turned me into a werewolf.
-你自己织毛衣? -是啊，我织的 You knit your own jersey?
- Yes. - Oh, yeah?
这是月亮吗，还是? -是月亮 - I knit. - Is that the moon, or?
希望我们不会..你知道，像这样 ... - Yes. - Hopefully, we won't, you know...
这地方真不错. Ah, this is a nice place.
请不要舔任何东西，也不要在任何东西上撒尿. Please, don't, ah, don't lick anything or...
... pee on anything.
刚开始我们很担心他们会随地小便 We were worried at first, you know, we thought
'Ooh, they are just going to urinate on everything.'
但其实他们很礼貌很乾淨 But they actually are really polite and pretty clean.
当然狼人进来的头半个小时裡，整个房子变得很难闻 There was obviously that werewolves smell,
which permeated the entire house for the first half an hour.
但后来我们打开了窗户 But we opened some windows and got rid of that.
当Stu刚提出这个建议时，我还在想，这不可能 你知道，去吸血鬼家裡做客 'What a stupid suggestion, their idea,' I thought.
No way.
You know, walking into the vampire's den. That's ludicrous.
That's my hand.
但作为首领，我决定试试 But I thought, we'll give it a shot.
You know, I'm the alpha male, so I made the call.
我是头领，所以一般来说，他们都听我的 I'm the alpha male.
- Yes. - So, generally...
... all of the other guys follow me.
敬 Stu! - For Stu! - For STU!
谢谢，伙计们 Thanks guys.
你的脸怎麽了? What have you done to your face?
我被一群狼人攻击了 I got attacked by some werewolves.
我以前见过个狼人，他很不错 Army is a werewolf. Seemed like a very nice person.
现在凯瑟琳也变成吸血鬼了 So, Katherine is a vampire now.
我们决定在一起 - Yes. - We decide to get together.
你知道的，我们又会有什麽损失呢? We just thought, the hell with it, you know.
What have we got to lose?
我就坐在那什麽都没做，他就这麽漂浮著 进来跟我表白 I was just sitting, doing nothing,
and he came floating in and over to me,
然后我认出了他，真是太棒了! and I recognized him. It was wonderful.
然后我就咬了你 And then I bit you on the neck.
没错 That's right.
我不介意做个吸血鬼 And I don't mind being a vampire.
我做的不错. I'm enjoying it.
有些人很介意我们的年龄差 Some people freak out a bit about the age difference.
他们不明白一个96岁的女士怎麽会跟 一个年龄有她四倍大的老男人在一起 Uh, they think, 'what's this 96-year old lady doing with a guy,
for times her age.'
但我一点都不介意.-这没什麽 - And, you know, I don't care... - It doesn't make any difference.
对啊，他们可以说我是老牛吃嫩草，谁在乎 No, they can call me cradle-snatcher, who cares.
所以我咬了她，我们可以永远在一起了. I decided to bite her and we're gonna be together forever.
-这太棒了 -是啊 - Wonderful. - Yeah.
波琳决定跟我複合，但持续了没多久 Pauline and I are tentatively back together.
But it's not long before you remember why it was we
她很快想起当初为什麽会分手
broke up in the first place.
-野兽 -混球
从卧室开始做，那裡必须完全黑暗. We start in our bedroom,
and I need that totally boarded up or blacked out somehow.
现在我丈夫也是我的僕人，所以关系有点儿转变 My husband is my familiar.
So, there has been a dynamic shift there.
你去买点儿亮片，写下来 You could buy a Bedazzler. So you write that down. That's B-E-D...
现在我是真的有在家的感觉了. I feel like I'm where I need to be now.
-我爱你 -我也爱你 - I love you. - I love you too.
Great.
但我是你的主人. But I am your Master.
- Okay? - Yeah.
你们还在因为我的笑话笑个不停呢，对吧？-是啊 Yeah, these guys have to laugh at my jokes, right guys?
Yeah!
That is a good one.
真的是个不错的笑话。-我会确认了每个人都笑了 I always look round to make sure they're all laughing.
如果我看到有人没笑，我会测试他 Like, if I see one of them is not quite laughing I'll be like, 'Hey!'
你在笑什麽? 我要测试下你 'You laughing?', and often I'll test you.
- What are you laughing at, Justin?
你在笑什麽? - Hey? - What are you laughing at now?
- Just then? - Yeah, yeah, but what?
我不知道 Oh, I don't know.
回答错误 Ah, test failed! Test failed!
你现在在笑什麽? You're laughing now. What are you laughing at now though?
我不知道 I don't know cause...
又错了 Ah, another failure!
你在笑什麽, Stu? Well, what are you laughing at Stu?
我在跟同伴一起笑 Oh, I was laughing with the group.
不错. Yep, that's good. That's good, yeah.
集中注意力 -集中注意力 Just pay attention. Pay attention.
跟大家一起笑. Laugh with the group.
你将不会记得在过去一个半小时看过的内容. You will not remember the last hour and a half,
of what you have just seen.
你会忘掉这部影片的内容 You will forget...
... the contents of this movie.