03 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III - TMNT-3 1993 English
[IN JAPANESE] Go! Faster!
[WARRIOR] Prince Kenshin, turn back.
- Return with us at once. - No.
Give up your weapon!
Do not harm him. Take him prisoner.
You'll have to kill me first!
Take him to the castle!
[KENSHIN] Mitsu!
♪ [CAN'T STOP ROCKING BY 22 TOP OVER PA] ♪
♪ You've heard about the rock ♪ ♪ for some time, I know ♪
♪ It's easy to do when you feel the roll ♪
♪ Make you wanna get up, ♪ ♪ make you wanna move your feet ♪
♪ No matter how it's done ♪ ♪ you know it can't be beat ♪
♪ I can't stop rocking' ♪
♪ No, I can't stop rocking' ♪
♪ Well, I can't stop rocking', ♪ ♪ baby, till I lose my mind ♪
Yeah, baby!
♪ Somebody said it's wrong ♪ ♪ but I know it's all right ♪
♪ Then it really hits you ♪ ♪ like a shot in the night ♪
♪ I'm never gonna stop ♪ ♪ as long as I can stay ♪
♪ Listen to me now, can't you hear me say ♪
♪ Cos I can't stop rocking' ♪
♪ No, I can't stop rocking' ♪
♪ Well, I can't stop rocking', ♪ ♪ baby, till I lose my mind ♪
- Hm. All right. - Yeah.
Rock'n'roll!
Yeah!
[MUSIC STOPS]
Uh-oh. Turtle tantrum.
Uh-oh. Oh, no. Hold it.
- Oh, Raph, come on. - What's going' on, Raph?
- Nothing. - Have patience, my son.
What are we doing' this for? Day after day, practising, killing ourselves - for what?
Nobody appreciates us. Nobody sees us. Nobody even knows we're alive down here!
Hey, guys! How's it going'?
- Fine. Good hair day? - Brought you some stuff.
- I love stuff. - Goodies.
Later.
- Good. Let's see what's in the bags. - Here are the keys to my apartment.
Somewhere. Stop peeking. No peeking.
I'm not peeking. I'm spelunking for pork rinds.
- God, I need this vacation. - Take us with you, April.
- Come on. Take us with you. - Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, guys.
My suitcases are very full.
- Too bad. - Hey, I didn't forget about you guys.
I bought a lot of fun stuff at the flea market for ya.
- Awesome! - Yeah. All right!
- Where's Raph? - He's in another funk.
Again? Maybe this'll cheer him up-.
- Hey, smooth. - Pretty cool, huh?
Nifty lid-Yeah-.
All right. This is for Mikey.
- Ah, yes! - All righty.
What else do we have here? Aah.
And for Leonardo. There you go.
- Oh, Japanese swords. - This'll keep you busy while I'm gone.
- Thanks. - And for Splinter...
Where is he, anyway?
- He's doing rat stuff. - And this, uh...
Actually, I really don't know what it is. Kind of a weird antique or something.
- Think it's Japanese. - Elvis Presley in Blue Hawaii.
Oh, you're so cute.
A super androdyne radio with triode tubes. Boss!
What's that?
Some kinda weird Japanese antique...
egg timer.
[IN JAPANESE] Open the door!
Kenshin, I forbid you to leave the castle.
You have disgraced me.
It is you who have disgraced me, Father, with your unjust war.
Walker.
Walker, you're alive.
Yes, I'd say that was a fair assumption.
Survived the shipwreck, built some new ones and, well, here I am, hungry again.
- Niles! - Move along, lads.
Your sentries, I believe.
Must be a great comfort to know how well protected you are, Lord Norinaga.
Kenshin. Inside.
Now!
Children are such a pest, aren't they? Especially when they side with the enemy.
Oh, dear. Damn nuisance.
- I just keep birds now. - Little finches.
Shut up, Niles.
I have three ships in your harbour, loaded down with powder and muskets,
absolutely guaranteed to win your ambitious war.
Wakasama!
Kappa.
"Open wide the gates of time."
Uh, guys?
Guys!
Ah! What's going on?
Wait a second here.
No way!
She's a man!
[ALL] Huh?
[ALL] April?
Kappa!
[IN JAPANESE] Good morning.
Whoa!
You have that effect on people. Don't you, Master?
Out cold.
[SQUEAKING]
- OK. - [CRIES OF ALARM]
Hi.
Wakey, wakey. Wake up! Hey, guys, do these clothes look familiar to you?
Wake up. Wake up, weird-looking James Dean dude.
He's coming' round.
- Kappa! - Kappa?
Cappuccino? Nah, it makes me hyper.
- What's a kappa? - Ancient Japanese demon.
Some were good and some were very bad.
- Ah. - Yes, demons.
- Huh? - Hey! He speaks English.
- Where's he from, anyways? - Well, judging from sword...
I'd say feudal Japan.
That explains why he speaks our language.
See, England started trading with Japan in the late 16th century.
- How did you get in April's pants? - I just want to know what happened to April.
It seems the sceptre has magic powers,
and somehow transported them both through time.
Hold on, dudes. If April's back in feudal Japan,
does that mean we, like, have to ride that sceptre back through time to get her?
- Cool. - You have no choice, my son.
Awesome. But do you think they had pizza back then?
Aw, get aught to town.
- What's going' on, Captain? - Ignorant, superstitious fools.
- We was just wondering'. - Them, you moronic toad.
- They think the woman's some kind of witch. - She's some sort of a witch.
Shut up.
- Some sort of a witch, yeah. - Would you keep quiet?
[IN JAPANESE] Come here, now!
Sorry?
Look, I took Spanish in high school.
[IN JAPANESE] Bring her here!
Hey! Easy!
♪ [CONGA BY BARRIO BOYZZ ON WALKMAN] ♪
[IN JAPANESE] Let it stop!
Next time, ask me to turn it off.
Where is my son, witch?
Hey, I really don't have a clue, OK? So why don't you just drop this macho stuff?
- Kill her! - Lord Norinaga! Allow me.
The daimyo believes you're a witch who has somehow spirited away his son. Is this true?
Yeah. Yeah, it's true.
I am a witch.
See that?
I shrunk four incredibly cool guys and I locked 'em in there.
Really?
Go on!
Then go ahead, witch.
Shrink me.
Don't push me, Ruffles,
or I'll melt you into a steaming puddle of puke.
She has no power. Let me question her about your son.
Then you can roast her, toast her, chop her into tiny pieces and feed her to the birds.
No. I want her to suffer.
[DONATELLO] Let's see, here. If I subtract the cosine from the inverted integer
then I can take the flangeler and put that here.
Oh! That's it! Of course!
It's equal-mass displacement.
See, guys? For every one of us that goes back, someone from the past will come here.
But the problem is, that switch will only work under one condition.
- You know what that is? - Tuesdays?
- Ground hog's day? - Aw, great.
It will only work if the magic travellers each have the same weight.
Bingo! Gee, you guys do have a good educational system, huh?
Step back, dudes. I just bought us some heavy artillery.
Donny! Long time.
- Leo, how's it going'? - Hey, Casey. Welcome back.
- Hey, Raph. How did your brain implant go? - What?
- Funny. - Anyway, enough of this, uh, camaraderie.
When do we get together and bust some skulls?
Hold it there, Casey. You're not gonna do any head-breaking' this time.
- Sorry, guy. - What was that?
You wanna run that by me again? How come?
We need somebody to stay here with Splinter
in case the time bandit here decides to flip out.
If it ain't too much of an inconvenience.
- It'll be a serious honour. - It is time to go, my sons.
Donatello, we shall wait by the sceptre every 12 hours, as you have instructed.
Correct, Master.
But the space-time continuum will be out of phase after 60 hours.
Wait a second. Time out. Now, what does that all mean in American?
If we don't come back in two days, we're turtle soup.
- Whoa! - Bummer.
[WICKED CACKLE]
Why don't you get a real job, cue ball?
Hey, hey. You know what? This is a Rolex. It's a gold Rolex. You want it?
- Let me aught to here. - [SHOUFLNG]
[NILES] Shut up!
Stay with Walker, you die. You come with me, you live.
Shut your gob. Lock him up, lads.
Up! Go up!
Well, well, well.
What have we got here?
Give us a kiss, duckling', while you still got your lips.
You're not the first one to do that to me.
There you are, Mr Whit. You can lead your stinking' mutiny in here.
Good night, my little tweety birds.
Come on, lads.
Goodbye, Whit.
Casey?
Yeah, you look familiar too.
The sceptre will be in the temple,
which means you will be replaced by four priests.
- Nothing' to it. - Now we must, please, try to hurry.
- Mitsu is in great danger. - Mits who?
Yes. Mitsu. She is the woman who leads the rebellion against my father.
She is the most courageous and beautiful woman ever...
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We get the picture. Could we go now?
- Enough of Mitsu, already. - T minus two minutes. Let's go, Mikey!
What?
Mikey, why are you wearing shorts?
Kenshin switched with April and got her clothes.
- So? - So, this is for whoever comes in my place,
so they won't arrive bare-butt naked.
[BOTH] Oh.
- I got three more pairs. - No!
We have no time for this scientific debate.
Yes, Master. Come on, guys. Let's go.
- It's time. - Yeah, yeah.
Kids.
OK. The inscription says "Open wide the gates of time."
- All right, already. Let's go! - Go with care, my sons,
and return with swiftness.
- We will not fail you, Master Splinter. - OK, guys. Hold on now.
Here we go. It's starting to work. Hang on.
Make sure your tray tables are in their full upright position.
Hang on to your shells, dudes!
- [IN JAPANESE] What is this? - Where are we?
This is very bad. They are not four priests. They are my father's honour guard.
The sceptre was not in the temple.
- There must have been a battle. - I knew it. I'm missing all the fun.
[LEONARDO] Where are the priests? Where's the temple?
Talk about your quantum leap!
Hey, dudes! Check it out! We're in Shogun!
Where'd we get these clothes?
These guys are pretty serious.
- How do you steer this? - There's no steering wheel.
- You're lucky. Mine doesn't have a head. - Watch out for the people.
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!
Don't these things ever run aught to gas?
I think I swallowed a frog. I hope it wasn't an ancestor.
- That was fun. - At the least the time travel worked.
We're here five minutes and already we lost one brother, the magic sceptre...
- Our dignity. - And no April.
Hey, where's Mikey?
The last time I saw him, he was doing this: Aaah!
Jeez. What else could happen?
Whoa! Turn around! Whoa! Good horsey! Good horsey! Whaah!
Who turned out the lights? Whoa! You know, I think I saw this on Bonanza once. Whaah!
[IN JAPANESE] Take him!
OK, boys. Who's first in line? Come on.
[IN JAPANESE] Wait!
Ancient wusses.
- Kenshin-sama! - Even here you find me.
No.
Put down your sword, Kenshin.
They are not enemies, only lost warriors like yourself.
OK. So far this disguise is working. But we're turtles, not honour guards.
Thanks for pointing that out. That would explain the large shell on my back.
- Well, ya don't have to be so sarcastic. - I'm sorry, Leo, but that's my nature.
You see, Walker, we do not need your help. We're victorious without your guns.
Today my honour guard carried my own secret weapon.
Really? Oh, that's very good news.
Where are my honour guards?
Murata! Find my honour guards!
- Yes, sir! - Now.
- You! - Huh?
Come here! Now!
I told you these outfits would get us into trouble.
- Let's go. Blend in. - Yeah, right.
They're coming! They're behind the wagon.
Step aside.
- Uh-oh. - Go! Idiot!
[IN JAPANESE] Yes, sir. Come here.
- That's very impressive, my lord. - This is very bad.
- Well, they fell for it. - Shh. You want to keep it down, Leo?
So they've gone missing. I mean, war has a habit of doing that to people.
- Look to the future. - You do not understand.
My honour guard carried a relic to ensure victory.
Ah, yes. The golden sceptre. Well, one does hear things.
Secrets leak like a stink from a dead pig.
You certainly can turn a phrase, my lord.
Listen to me, Daimyo. Guns ensure victory, not some ancestral good luck charm.
If the sceptre is lost, my clan is lost, and you will have no one to trade with but yourself.
Niles!
- Captain. - Bring me the woman.
Come on, guys. Let's find the temple. Maybe April's still in there.
Boy, Kenshin's dad must be really seriously rich.
Think I saw this place on Lifestyles of the Rich and Dangerous.
"Bring me the woman, Niles." "Lick my boots, Niles." "Feed my birds, Niles."
What's next? Roll over and play dead?
What are you looking at, you ugly lump O dung?
[GROWLS]
Lump of dung?
[KEEPS GROWLING]
Oh, you dirty... I oughtta...
- [GROWLS] - Later, Popeye.
I'm gonna get that guy. Did you hear what he called me, Leo?
- Yeah, an ugly lump 0' dung. - Well, that was an insult, Leo.
Not necessarily, Raph. In some countries dung is used as a fuel source.
"Dung is used as a fuel source." Thanks[!]
[IN JAPANESE] Hey, you!
- O-hai-yo, wasabi. - Hello, mustard?
OK, so my Japanese is a little rusty. Um...
Suzuki, Kawasaki...
How about, uh, sayonara?
- That'll work. - Ciao-Adios-.
See you later. Yes.
It's me again, fatso-San.
Hurry up.
Wo-man!
We want woman!
Move it, you sot!
There they are. The Three Stooges.
Yeah, Larry, Curly and Moe.
Get her down, you fat sot.
Hurry up! Don't ruffle my little duck's feathers. I ruffle them myself.
- Hurry up! - Psst.
Hey. It's wet willy time, Moe.
Wet... what-um?
- What a moroon. - What's up, April?
- Hi, April. - Yo, April.
Raph? Leo?
Boy, some vacation. I'd fire my travel agent.
- Not me. I think it's cool. - Hey, fat boy.
[MARTIAL CRIES]
- Uh-oh. - Yeah, get him in there.
Hey, don't forget to pack a lunch. Matter of fact, pack three.
Wow! He can actually lift that thing.
- That's impressive. - Hello?
Nice clothes.
Would somebody please tell me what the heck is going on around here?
Relax, April. It's just your ordinary time-travel-equal-mass-displacement thing.
- Yeah. - Oh, OK. So let's get out of here. Now.
Hey, miss! Miss! Cut me loose- They'll hang me here-.
This is my favourite part!
Next!
- I know I'm gonna regret this. - Hey! Come and get me! Come on!
- Watch your head. - Well, come on. Hurry.
Think these guys have ever seen a pinball machine before?
Throw him to me!
Boy! Tilt!
Fight's over. We're closed.
These guys are really pushy. They don't know when to quit.
- What are you doing', April? - Come on. I think I found a way out.
Obviously not the age of chivalry.
- Come on! - Go, go, go. We're right behind you.
Yuck.
Whoa!
Oh, no. Not another sewer.
[AS TERMINATOR] I'll be back.
Oooh!
Bleurgh! Garbage.
Yuk. Bleugh, yew.
Boy, do I hate spinach.
Bleugh.
- Raph? - [COUGHING AND SPLUTTERING]
Well, I'm in there. Donny?
Yeah?
[MORE SPLUTTERING]
Mud wrestling is definitely a spectator sport.
Peuh! Gross.
Grosser. April? Yo!
- Here. - Hey.
- Help me up. - All right, I'm coming'. I'm on my way over.
- A little mud. No problem. I can handle... - Help me.
Wait, wait.
This was the worst rescue I've ever had.
Help! I'm a turtle and I can't get up.
- Thanks. - We'd better get aught to here.
Look on the bright side. We could have fallen into a big, greasy, smelly, pile of...
Don't even say it, Don.
Hello?
Hello. Oh, that hurts.
- [CHILDREN WHISPER] Kappa, kappa. - What a head popper.
Oi. Earth to me.
God, my neck hurts. My spots hurt. Even my bandanna hurts.
Hey, little one.
OK.
Where am I?
- Mikey! - Mikey!
Yo! Michaelangelo!
Hey, Mikey!
Yes! Much better.
- Wow! A leg-O-rama! - Yeah, I'll say.
Hey! I'm allowed.
- I'm on vacation. - Right.
Absolutely. Schwing!
Hey, Leo! Look at this water.
Huh? I don't see anything.
Exactly. No tyres, no beer cans, no dead fish.
Just... water.
Clean, clear, beautiful water. Hm.
Nature, I love it.
Makes me wanna... I don't know... migrate or something.
[LAUGHTER]
Turtles don't migrate, Raph, birds do.
Hey, I got a beak, don't I?
Yeah. OK, turtles. Let's move out.
You bet.
[BOTH] Whoa!
- Ambush! - Here comes trouble, guys.
Enjoy your swim.
Miss me?
[SHOUTS IN JAPANESE]
You like baseball here? Strike one.
Strike two. You're aught to there. I love that game.
OK. I've had enough.
Come on, Jack.
It's Hammer time!
Here. Hold these. Thank you.
Oh, no!
No, no, no, lady. That ain't nice.
[IN JAPANESE] Step back!
Huh?
- Who blew the whistle? - Hey! Look!
Kappa.
Hey, we're friends. OK?
We're here to find our brother, that's all.
Hey, I don't kiss on the first date, lady.
- Raph, give it a rest, will ya? - Yeah.
Don't be afraid.
- You're just like the other one. - The other one?
Mikey?
- Bingo! - Oh, yes! Yes!
- Get down with your turtle self! - Oh, yeah!
You say your friends aren't demons?
Hey, pal. You got a relative in Brooklyn? Nah.
I figure they're mercenaries in disguise,
come to help the rebels invade us from the north.
- My village! - [GUNSHOTS]
- Mikey! - Go!
Find Kenshin. Fire over their heads and burn this place to the ground.
There's a reward for the man who brings me the sceptre. Go!
Burn it!
Go!
Yoshi! Yoshi! Yoshi!
Gunfire? I better cover the melon.
I gotta get aught to here.
Burn it to the ground!
It's one of them honour guards. There's a reward for 'im.
[CACKLING]
Greetings from Her Majesty.
My heroes. Mm.
Aaah!
Wait! Wait! I'm really a beautiful princess in disguise!
Oh, swords!
Break the spell. Gimme a kiss.
What do you mean, a monster, a demon?
Hey! Which way did they go?
Excuse me, Niles. Shouldn't you be trying to scare somebody?
But there's a demon up the road. Awild beast with a body of a man
- and the head of the devil himself. - Listen to me, you cretinous idiot.
It's nothing but a samurai wearing one of his ridiculous masks.
Shut up! Get on with it.
Clint Eastwood? Nah.
Huh?
Hm...
Hey, Butch, don't you know westerns are dead?
Speaking of dead...
[SOUND OF BLOWS]
I'll save ya, Captain.
- Uh-oh. - Hi, there.
See, when I said westerns were dead, I meant they're not dead.
Cos I forgot about Clint. You look a lot like Clint. They're, uh... Yes, you do.
Wet willy.
Sorry, Captain.
Yes!
Dudes, most excellent timing.
Hold it right there, Zorro-dude.
He's getting away!
- Wimp. - Captain, don't leave me here.
- [MAKES CHICKEN SOUND] - Captain! Wait for...
Help! Grandfather! Help!
- Yoshi! - Help! Grandfather! Help!
Yoshi. Grandson.
Stay right here.
- Yoshi. - Yoshi?
Yoshi?
- I don't think I'm out out for this hero stuff. - Michaelangelo!
- I could use some water. - What's going' on?
Here I go!
- I don't believe it. He went in. - Mikey! No!
- Mikey! - No!
We gotta do something!
Kurt Russell, eat your heart out.
I think he's gonna be OK.
Yoshi. Yoshi.
[COUGHS]
- Are you all right? - Yeah.
- You scared me half to death. - Scared me half to death.
- Mikey! - Mikey! So glad to see you!
- Yoshi! - I can't believe you did that. You're a hero.
- He has no life in him. - [OTHERS GASP]
[IN JAPANESE] He's badly hurt?
What's going on?
Give him to me. Let me take him. Please.
Yoshi.
Keep everyone back. Stay back, everyone. Give me some room.
- Give him some room. - Everybody, get back.
- No. - No, wait.
- Let him try. - No. He's casting an evil spell.
No, it's not an evil spell. He's helping.
Keep back, everyone. I need more time.
[IN JAPANESE] Please, don't.
Come on, guys. Help him out.
Come on, Leo. You can do it.
One, two, three, four, five.
One, two, three.
Yeah.
Attaboy, Leo.
- He did it. - All right.
Yoshi. Ah! Yeah.
Yeah. Oh.
You're gonna be OK, Yoshi.
- Here you go. - Yoshi.
- Outstanding, dude. - Thanks.
Yeah, I just hope these village people won't be afraid of us any more.
Well, it's a start.
[SHOUTS IN JAPANESE]
Your men showed lack of courage today.
They were frightened by the demons. As were your men.
Is that so?
Walker,
loo k-.
Tell me, were the demons today not men?
Real demons?
I don't know.
Old priests say
once before, demons defeated my ancestors.
Now they've come back for me.
I agree to your price.
Guns for silver and silk.
Ah, guns for gold.
Now there are demons. Before there were just men.
My cannons can destroy these monsters, my lord.
You can rewrite history.
No.
And I can rewrite you.
Clothesline! Clothesline!
- Wipeout. - Hi-ho, Silver!
Horsey!
Hey, horses!
Somebody dial 911. Medic?
- You thirsty? - Oh, no. My butt.
- You didn't find the sceptre, did you? - No. It's history.
Huh?
- Adios, amigos. - You know, sometimes I hate that guy.
Yeah. Hm.
- Let's see. The square root of the... - Now wait! Just hold it here, OK?
If the sceptre wasn't in the woods, maybe the daimyo has it.
No. He's been looking' for it too.
So what are we gonna do? How are we gonna get home?
Wait. Listen. Look. Are you sure this isn't a dumb thing to do?
No, it's a smart thing to do. Losing the old sceptre was a dumb thing to do.
I didn't lose it, OK?
I had my head totally torqued, and besides, I know what it looks like.
I was holding onto it last and it doesn't look like this.
- Don't look at me that way. - You don't know what you're talking about.
Excuse me.
- No, you don't... What? - What?
I don't mean to spoil your little party here.
This is your plan?
- Yeah. - You're not seriously suggesting
that Donatello is gonna make an incredibly arcane time-travel machine?
Of course not.
- Totally bogus. - Really stupid.
- That's a relief. - No, that guy's gonna make it.
He's good with his hands.
- What? - Come on, April.
- Where are you going, dudette? - To find an apartment.
I have a feeling we're gonna be here for a very long time.
- Are there apartments in Japan? - Am I a real-estate agent?
- What about condos and time-shares? - Let's get back at this.
Take me with you.
Where? New York?
No, you wouldn't fit in.
I mean, uh... well, actually, you would fit in.
But, uh, you wouldn't really fit in. You know what I mean?
- You could teach me. - Uh, no, I couldn't.
Look, Whit.
I'm going back real soon and, uh...
I don't wanna have this conversation, OK?
[IN JAPANESE] What is that?
Take whatever you guys need. All right?
[IN JAPANESE] Shut it up.
Hey, Ken. Maybe you oughtta try a little decaf?
Kenshin is unhappy. He believes they will never get home.
Well, it ain't exactly a quick jaunt across the Brooklyn Bridge, is it?
Hey, Ken, you know? Maybe you oughtta try a little herbal, Ken-man? Know what I mean?
We can't wait for your sons. Mitsu needs me now.
The sceptre, please.
[IN JAPANESE] Oh! What is that?
[IN JAPANESE] Get away!
Can you believe it?
We're not even in the play-offs yet.
[DONATELLO] The space-time continuum will be out of phase after 60 hours.
Pick up the pace, smithy-San. We gotta have that sceptre done by tonight.
No.
Love it
♪ - You know, there is one... ♪ ♪ - O sole mio! ♪
We're talking' franchises here.
All you gotta do is keep your delivery to under 30 minutes.
Let's see what we got in here. We got a, uh...
pizza. You got that, dude? Pizza.
Frisbee. Also cool.
[IN JAPANESE] Stop it!
Who Frisbee'd me in the face?
- I'm aught to here. - Why, I oughtta...
[GROWLS]
It was Mike, with the thing.
Whoa. Hey, chill. Hey, hey, hey.
What is this? The Geraldo show?
You gotta learn to control that temper, guy.
Did I say that?
I'm practising fighting the daimyo.
Fight the daimyo? Hold on here.
Fighting's for grown-ups and that's only if you've got no other choice.
You guys are kids. You should be out, um...
You should be out having fun. Flying those things.
Come on. We could do it together. You could teach me.
- Fun is for children. - What? You're a senior citizen?
Come on. It'll be easy.
- What'd you say your name was? - Yoshi.
Yoshi!
OK, Yoshi. You and your buddies grab those kites and I'll join you later.
Kids.
Yo! Yoshi! Wait up!
Hey, I think I'm getting this, Yoshi. What do you think? Look at that.
Lord Norinaga accepts your price. Guns for gold.
Tell the daimyo to prepare the papers.
Oh, sorry. I guess you want to be alone, huh?
I was asking the gods to protect someone.
Kenshin?
He's, like, your beau, huh?
- You know him? - Well, sort of.
He kinda went on a cosmic cruise and dropped in on us.
But don't worry. He'll be back as soon as we leave. I promise.
- How do you know this? - Well, uh, uh... it's a kappa kinda thing.
So, uh, what's your sign?
Oh, man.
- Hockey. - Hockey.
Guess it's time for a little cultural exchange, if you know what I mean.
OK, guys.
- Let's play a little hockey. - Hockey?
Take your best shot.
Come on.
- Just like you saw on TV? - TV?
Remember?
[IN JAPANESE] You guys understand it?
Hey, good. All right.
[IN JAPANESE] It must be hockey.
OK, I can work with that.
Good. Tomorrow, Walker, we will use your guns.
My pleasure.
Walker.
- Hm? - My dungeon is very crowded.
Then it would only be humane not to take any more prisoners, wouldn't it?
We'll just have to kill everybody.
What do you hear, Sensi?
Danger.
Mitsu.
- What is it? - Mitsu, I bring bad news from the castle.
It's two hours to midnight.
- I sure hope this works. - Impressive.
- Yes. Oh, this is perfect. - What if this doesn't work, dudes?
What if we make, like, a cosmic U-turn and end up back in Godzilla land?
We don't have a choice... unless you want to stay here.
- Maybe we should. - Hold it.
Yeah, right. Forget about Mitsu and gimme the sceptre.
Hey, Raph! Give me back the sceptre!
- Give it over here! - Wait!
[BREAKING GLASS]
- Nice going. - Butterfingers.
What next?
The daimyo is coming in the morning,
with Walker and guns.
Great.
God, man.
Hey, Yoshi. You awake, buddy?
Aw, Yoshi. Hey, hey, hey. What's the matter, little man?
What's up with those tears? What's going' on here?
- Nothing. - Nothing', huh?
Well, too bad, cos if something' was bothering' ya, I got a little present here to cheer you up.
It's called a yo-yo. It's yours. I made it for ya.
I was gonna give it to you tomorrow but, you know, things might get a little nuts.
- I might forget. - You fight daimyo in the morning.
Yeah. OK. So, tomorrow afternoon I'll teach you some tricks on your yo-yo.
- OK, buddy? - Tomorrow you might die.
Yeah. OK, Yoshi, you listen to me.
Tomorrow morning you and your buddies go up into the mountains and you play.
You hear me? No matter what happens.
I cannot let you die, Raphael-San.
Don't worry, kid. Nobody's gonna die.
Hey, Yoshi. Come on. Where are you going? It's late already. Get yourself to bed.
What are you doing'?
Yoshi, this isn't playtime. Your sister's gonna kill me.
- What do you got? - For you, Raphael-San.
Aw, you didn't have to.
I find in the woods. Now you and the other kappa can go home. Now you no die.
Son of a snapper.
Leo!
I found it!
Look at this! It was here the whole time! It was under the house.
- Our little brother put it there. - Whoa! Mondo surprise!
- Whoa. - Let me see that.
- Careful now. Easy, guys. - Is it the one?
- It's the one. Look, it's the sceptre. - Oh, God. I can't believe it.
So you see, as long as we didn't have this, we had no choice but to stay and fight.
- Right? - You mean we were set up?
Wow.
- Uncool. - Very uncool.
Mitsu,
is that for real?
The vibes in here just turned bad. Let's split.
Wait! I am the one.
Please. I am the one who told my grandson to hide the sceptre.
- What? - I want you to fight, not Mitsu.
[SCREAM]
- Mitsu! - Let's go. Move it!
- Evening. - Mitsu!
- Let me at him! - Mikey. Mikey, stay back. Calm down, man.
Give me the sceptre, my little green friends.
No! Kill him!
Raph, gimme the sceptre.
- Don't. - Man.
Bring Kenshin to the castle tonight, you get her back.
Come morning', I was you, I'd be gone.
He's just riding' off. Guys, we gotta do something.
I apologise for this interruption, but perhaps this little bird will sing for your supper.
Mitsu.
Why have you stolen my son?
I do not have your son.
He's gone on a magic journey.
Only the sceptre can bring him back.
You are lying. You have them both.
I have nothing.
He has the sceptre.
No!
Stop it!
Not as chirpy as I hoped. Niles.
- Come on. Come on. - Take her away!
How did you capture such a woman?
The same way you capture any wild animal. By setting a trap.
[IN JAPANESE] Wait!
I don't have it.
Equal partners. Right? I'm not your spy any more.
[HORSES NEIGHING]
[APRIL] I wanna see the daimyo.
Hey, easy with the hands.
Another little birdie come home to roost.
April's inside. Now it's up to us.
Is this what they mean by "getting totally vertical"?
Turtles. It's not just a job, it's an adventure.
[MEWING]
[LAUGHS]
[CAT LIKE GROWL]
[MEWING INTENSIFIES]
[HISSING]
Meow, dude!
Ow! His chin's landed on my foot.
Sayonara, blubber butt-.
- Mitsu! - Yaah!
- How's it hanging? - Michaelangelo.
Hey, Mit. Uh, sorry about the crack about the bad vibes.
- You got great vibes. - Quickly. We must free the others.
- Hey, Whit! - Well, well, well. Miss O'Neil.
My partner and I were discussing your future.
Let me tell you something about your partner here. He's scum.
He's the lowest scum of the earth.
No, you know something? He's lower than scum.
- He gives scum a bad name. - Of course he does. That's why I hired him.
Take her away.
No, now wait a minute. Wait! I have information about the daimyo's son.
I think she's telling the truth.
Really? Well, I don't pay you to think, do I? I pay you to lie, cheat and steal.
So why don't you go down to the harbour and bring back the men and their guns?
Guns?
Shh. Maybe she's up here. Nice and light now.
Ooh. Love the artwork.
Reservations for five?
And your tea, maybe?
Come on!
- That's OK. We'll find a table ourselves. - Little log there.
Everything looks cool up here. Come on!
- Come on, come on. Clear on the right. - Clear on the left. Mitsu, you back there?
Hey, you guys. Check it out.
- Wow! Ancient us. - Trippy.
- The Battle of the Thousand Swords. - Hm?
Four demons defeated the daimyo and his army.
Definitely family. It looks like me but it's, uh, got Raph's beak.
- Watch it. - But it was only a legend.
- Dudes, we're legends. - Hey, it's cool.
- I like it. - Hey, Wayne Newton.
You.
You were expecting maybe, uh, the Addams Family?
- Good one. - You have come back.
Yeah, we like to drop in every three or four centuries.
Yeah and it looks like you're having' a rough day, so give us the sceptre back
and... we'll get aught to here.
- Yeah. - Yeah. Uh-huh.
You have disgraced my ancestor, but you will not disgrace me.
For that I am willing to die.
Kill!
[IN JAPANESE] No!
We will both die, but only one of us with honour.
Hm.
- Are we out of the loop here or what? - Yeah.
Hey!
- Chill, dude. - Wow. Phew.
- You OK? - Watch out!
He who dings the shell must pay!
Yes!
Your turn!
One, two, three and kick!
Good night!
Bases loaded. Home run!
Leap frog!
Triple play!
Hello! Goodbye!
All right! Good job, turtles.
- Leo, high foot! - Hey!
- All right, let's rock'n'roll, dudes. - Whoa! More logs.
Hey, mac. Take the rest of the day off.
- I'll open the dungeon. - All right, you guys go that way.
- We must open the gate. - No problemo.
Trouble.
One, two, three, four.
You're free, guys. Let's go!
Uh-oh!
I love this stuff!
I get such a kick aught to this job.
Hold it, bucko!
[SPEAKS JAPANESE]
Big mistake, dude.
Go ahead. Finish me.
OK.
There. Short enough for ya?
Kappa.
- [WHISTLES] - Huh?
Aaah!
Hey.
- Hello? - Who's trapped inside?
- Lord Norinaga. - No!
Whoa!
Aaah!
- Name rings 3 bell. - [LAUGHTER]
Yes, indeed. Turtles, one. Daimyo, zip.
Hey, look!
It's April.
- If it ain't The Phantom of the Opera. - Love to stay and chat, but...
places to go, people to kill.
[GUNSHOTS]
Come on, lads!
Move it! Move it! Out of the way!
- Oh, no! Guns. - There goes the neighbourhood.
- Wait. - Calm down.
- Thank you, Mr Whit. - You make a great servant. I'm impressed.
- My God. - Stay cool.
- Who's your tailor? - We're naked.
- You OK, April? - Sorry, guys.
We don't have time for these social pleasantries, I'm afraid. Shoot them.
Right.
[WHIT] Don't move a finger.
- What did you say? - I said shoot them.
That wasn't part of the deal, Walker.
Well, if you feel like that you'd better join them, hadn't you? Niles?
Right.
- Hey, come on. - Shoot him too.
With pleasure.
Right, then. Ready...
Gee, if we die here in the past does that mean that we don't get born in the future?
Hey, Tinkerbell, why don't you shoot us?
- Uh, Leo, wait. - I'm sorry. Are you addressing me?
Shoot us yourself, unless you're too scared.
I get it.
He knows he can't kill us. We're demons.
They are demons.
Your bullets will just bounce back and kill all you guys instead.
Would you like the pleasure of the first shot, Captain?
OK. Go ahead, punk. Make my day.
Well, if it's gonna make you all feel better.
- I've got a good idea. - What's that, Captain?
- Out of the way. - What's this creep got up his sleeve?
- What's he doing? - Uh-oh. This doesn't bode well.
- Nice bluff, Mr Leader. - Major bummer.
We're toast.
Try this on for size.
Uh, this could hurt.
Boy, do I love being a turtle.
Oh, yes, that's very clever. Oh, yes, very clever.
Missed me!
- Guess what time it is. - Willy, willy, willy. Willy, willy, willy!
- Take a hike, pal. - Let's get Walker!
Hey, guys!
Look! Don King!
Smells like a geek ran through here.
Oh!
My little darlings, I almost forgot you. Come on.
- Where did he go? - There he goes, out the window!
- Come on, Mikey! - We'll go out the front and cut him off.
- Hurry, Raph! - I'm right behind you, Leo.
- He's up there, Donny. Come on! - All right. Let's go.
- This is so good for your calves. - Yeah.
Stop right there! Or you're a goner, dude!
Totally.
What kind of demons are you?
- We're turtles, friend. - Of the teenage mutant ninja variety.
Sleaze ball.
Yeah. Hm.
- Check it out. - This is what you've been searching for.
Go fetch.
Wait! There goes our ride home.
Did you really think I'd make it that easy, you nasty little reptiles?
I got it! I got it! I got it!
Oh, not again.
- Nice catch. - I got you! I got you!
Yes! I got it.
Aaah!
- Wow. - Bungee jumping without a bungee.
- That could be dangerous. - You got that.
Hey, guys. We have an egg timer to catch. Let's move it.
- Buckle up, dudes. It's time to go home. - [MICHAELANGELO] Guys, I'm not going back.
What?
I said I'm staying here. I'm not going back with you.
Michaelangelo, come on. You can't be serious.
He's serious.
Wait a minute. You are going back to New York.
Been there, done that.
Michaelangelo, it's our home.
Sure. Your home's a nice apartment. My home's a sewer.
Uh, I've been thinking the same thing, Leo.
People appreciate us here. We don't have to live like moles.
Whoa. No way. We're all going back. Tell him, Leo.
Hey, you know, not to sound selfish or anything, but what the heck? Why not?
I do not want to stay here.
Me neither. Do you think I could possibly live without a single microchip?
Whoa! Somebody's activated the sceptre. We gotta go now.
Kenshin, no.
We wait 400 years and this Casey is still late. I will wait no longer.
Kenshin, you cannot go without the others. It would be cowardly.
♪ [TARZAN BOY BY BALTIMORA] ♪
Come on! Hey! Come on. Yeah! Both of you.
Yeah! Come on! Gotta get back! Time to go!
Come on, you party animals. I know. Yeah, OK. Come on. Get it together.
Just wanted to give you guys a nice peek at the future.
Bet you guys feel lucky to be going back, right?
We're lucky. We're going back.
[ALL] Not!
This could really screw up history.
All right. OK. Enough is enough. OK? Let's go. Come on.
Guys, you cannot split up.
- You're brothers. Remember? - Yeah, I guess.
- Yeah. - Raphael-San!
- Hey! Yoshi. - Yoshi wants to say goodbye.
But we're not going' back. Me and Raph are gonna be staying.
- No. - Huh?
Kenshin must return. You promised.
Yeah, but...
Our two families must be united or the wars will start again.
But I thought...
I want to stay here... with you.
You will always be here with me,
Michaelangelo.
Uh-oh, guys. It's picking' up speed. Come on!
There was traffic, man.
- Benkei, no! - Hey! Wait!
No!
I've been thinking'. We have to go back. It's our destiny.
I mean, if we stay here, we interfere with their lives. And that would be selfish.
- Exactly. - Our lives are in New York.
- Right, guys? - Yeah.
- It's Star Trek time, guys. - Hey, Yoshi, man.
- Raphael-San. - Yo, Yoshi.
I will never forget you, Raphael-San.
I won't forget you either, little man. And remember, watch that temper.
- Oh. - Hey, all right!
Nah, nah, nah. I'll put this on lay away for you, OK?
All right? Give you an excuse to come back, Zenmeister. OK?
- Casey. - Whoa. All right. All right.
Benkei!
You got a bus to catch. Come on. Go ahead. Go ahead.
[IN JAPANESE] Thanks.
It's OK, man. Go ahead. You'll be all right.
Benkei!
See you later.
- Come on, Mikey. - If you ever get to New York...
- Later, Mikey. - OK. Destiny, what a drag. Bye.
Mikey! Hurry!
- I'm coming! - Come on, Mikey!
Mikey!
Guys, we made it back to the den. Wow.
Hm?
Michaelangelo?
Mikey?
[SCREAM]
- He's got the sceptre! - Get that guy!
No!
Mikey?
Mikey.
- We thought we lost you forever, Mikey. - Thought you were a goner.
- Glad you're OK. - Hi, guys.
Michaelangelo.
[IN JAPANESE] Go on.
Father.
Kenshin.
[IN JAPANESE] Excuse me.
- Hockey. - Hockey.
Kenshin!
- Michaelangelo? - Yes, Master Splinter?
Something deeply troubles you, my son.
Growing up. I don't think I'll ever laugh again.
Hm.
- Yo, dude! - Huh?
Yo, dude!
Just like Elvis in Blue Hawaii.
[SPLINTER IMITATES ELVIS]
I saw it on cable.
- Hey, Mikey. - Huh?
Raph? Donny?
Leo?
♪ [Rocking Over The ♪ ♪ Beat by Technotronic] ♪
Yeah! All right!
Get down with us turtles!