- Previously on
"Vanderpump Rules"...
- I'm getting married!
- You're a princess in a tower,
and Jax is the Beast.
- I like you. - Let's just, like, not hook up
with other people, and, like, focus on each other.
- Yeah, I'm into that.
- I was at Jones the other day,
and he was with a girl,
and they seemed, like... friendly.
- So you're not exclusively dating this girl?
- I was seeing her.
- We're calling it. It's just done.
- Is Carter your date?
- Yeah. He deserves to be at the wedding
'cause he's my best friend ever, yeah. Cheers.
- You can't be real for one second.
- Because you don't try to have a conversation, Stassi.
- I've tried! - You're so up your own ass.
- I've tried a million times.
- What you witnessed was an end of a friendship.
- I don't feel like dealing with her.
Once this wedding's over, bye.
♪ You know that it's our time ♪
♪ These are the best days of our lives ♪
♪ Just raise your glasses high ♪
♪ This one's for you tonight ♪
♪ Up before the sun ♪
♪ I thought I heard you calling my name ♪
♪ Everything is different, but life moves ♪
♪ Like nothing is changed ♪
♪ For a moment, I believe ♪
♪ And I hold on to the feeling ♪
♪ And I can't seem to breathe ♪
♪ Is it real, or am I dreaming? ♪
- I've always dreamed of the perfect wedding,
even since I was a little girl.
This is memories that we will never be able to take back,
so I just want to look good, I want to feel good,
and it's gonna be the most perfect day.
♪ It comes crashing over me ♪
♪ It comes in waves ♪
- It's wedding day.
- Hey, Mitchell. How are you?
- Good. You ready?
- I'm just trying to figure out strategically how to do this,
because Brittany does not wanna see Jax, obviously.
- Okay.
- Hi! - ♪ Hello ♪
Minister Bass is here.
Hi! - How are you? Good to see you.
- Good to see you. - Definitely. Hi there.
- How are you? Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you. I'm Lance. - Mitchell.
- Me and my group of girlfriends were younger.
Each of us, like, "claimed" a member of 'NSYNC,
and Lance was mine.
And I'd lick his face on my poster, like mmm.
See you guys a little later. - Okay.
♪ No, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey ♪
- I have a message from Brittany.
- What? - She wants you guys
to go to the front turrets until it's time to get dressed.
- As much as I drank last night...
♪ What ♪
♪ What, what, what, what ♪
...I'm gonna power through.
It's like my body knows how much I spent on this wedding,
and it's working overtime to recover.
- I'm gonna take him out the back.
- Hurry. - I'm gonna have to go--
- I know, but you have to go and you have to go fast.
You can't-- - Jax, come on.
- You can't dawdle. - "Dawdle"? That's not a word.
- Oh!
- Hi, Mama. - It's finally here.
- I cannot believe it. Hi, Mamaw.
- Mamaw's here.
- Are you excited? - Yes.
- I'm excited for you.
- Do you think we should do the top two layers?
- Does it look a little better at least?
- There's, like, 49 maybe layers.
It feels like Katie and I have been steaming this dress
for, like, an hour and 47 minutes.
We could've watched "The Notebook" in its entirety,
but Brittany wants perfection,
and that is exactly what we are going to give her.
- Mamaw wants me to put some makeup on her.
- Maybe just, like, a little pop of color?
- That is cute! - I won't go crazy.
You're not gonna walk out of here looking like me,
I promise. - I tried to--
- Well, that'd be all right. If you made me look like you,
honey, go ahead.
- Brit is in such a good mood. - Yeah, it's her dream day.
- She's, like, always in a good mood,
but Katie's energy ----ing blows.
- I kinda wanna put money on it that Katie or Stassi
will say something to you about Carter.
- They'll be talking sh-- for sure.
- Where is he?
- I don't know. He's staying at the Hilton.
He was, like, trying to get ahold of me and asked me
what time he should come here, and I was like,
"Well, you know what time the wedding is.
"I can't be responsible
because I'm gonna be with the girls all day."
I've tried to distance myself, then it's like,
what, I ignore him when he texts me?
- Yeah. He's literally right there.
Every time I see Carter, I wish that we could have worked.
It's just really ----ing sad.
- Hello. - Hi.
- Hi. Hi, gorgeous.
- I'm gonna go get braids. I'm gonna go get braids.
- Jax, your shirt's dry.
Cufflinks are already connected to it.
I'm putting it right here in the front, okay?
- Okay.
- There was a time where
I thought I wasn't gonna be at this wedding.
- Hey, so one of the bridesmaids actually does need a tampon.
- Uh, just one or should I bring, like, two or three?
- Bring three, yeah. - Okay.
But I'm so glad I am because
of this kind of situation right here.
Groomsmen meeting. I have double-stick top side tape.
I have a sewing kit. I even brought tampons.
- That's going the extra mile.
- That's why you need the best best man.
Here you go. Got you a White Claw.
- Thank you.
- Entrer. - Thank you, Your Holiness.
- Oh, yes, of course.
- You good, bruh? How you feeling?
- I was a disaster yesterday.
- Surprisingly, I feel really, really, really good right now.
It's my dad's favorite meal-- Coke, burger, and fries.
Love you, Dad.
- Wait. Where's Randall?
- Oh, sh--. Where is Randall?
- Anything with Bruce Willis in it, I will watch.
- Yeah. - Text Lala.
Say, "Where's Randall?"
- Shut the up. He's not there?
- You know in "Sixth Sense" where they say when you feel
that thing on the back of your neck, like, that's...you know?
- Yeah. - So, like, when I get home
and I'm by myself,
I go running through the house like a little baby.
- Uh-oh. We're coming!
Hey. Sorry. We were taking a nap.
- Randall! What are you doing?!
Every groomsman is downstairs. Are you dressed?
- Okay, okay, I'll get dressed.
- Randall's supposed to be here right now.
He should be on the way.
- That was totally my bad. I'll get dressed.
- I'm mortified.
You're laying in bed?
What the are you doing?
Get up now.
Randall lives in his own world.
- Is it tight? 'Cause it feels dangly.
- He has people that give him a schedule that he follows,
and that person isn't here right now.
I really want to go in on Randall,
but I'm not gonna rip his head off...until later.
- So this looks good? - Yeah. You look--
Yeah, looks great. - Okay, thanks, buddy.
- This brings back memories to me.
It's a lot of pressure. Are you scared?
- Yes, I am a little bit. All right, now I just wanna--
- Okay, let's sit down here. Let's--okay, let's relax.
- Yeah, I wanna go over, like, the vows section.
I need to know the timing. So I need a good--
- Well, let me look at it. - I need the best
Brittany and Jax impression that you have.
- Oh, God.
- "Brittany, ladies first."
"Oh, I'm just gonna love him
"forever and ever. I've always wanted to get married.
I've dreamt of being in this castle my whole life."
Okay? - That's perfect.
- Okay. - Now Jax will read his vows.
"You know what?
"I never really thought I'd do this.
"You know, but now I'm here.
Is it too late to change my mind?"
- Keep practicing.
- I have the ring here and the ring here.
- Okay. Feel good?
- I'm just so scared that I'm gonna lose these.
- You're not gonna lose that, dude. It's a giant ring box.
- Hi. - Okay. You good?
- Little nervous.
- These your vows? - Yeah.
- With all those scribbles all over it?
- It's--It's okay. I understand it.
- Okay. - Yeah, I wanna--
I gotta be able to read it 'cause I'm too nervous.
I can't-- I need something to look at.
- Okay, listen, calm down. You're gonna be great,
and if you're emotional, that's a good thing.
- Yeah. I'm--I'm just getting so much
through my head right now on, like, my dad,
and I couldn't believe my mom didn't even text my godmother.
Nothing. That just hurts my feelings.
- The most important thing is you're marrying
the woman of your dreams, okay? - Yes.
It means an awful lot that Lisa's here
because my parents are not here,
and she just kinda puts everything at ease.
- That's okay. - I know you're head's
gonna be everywhere... - Yeah.
- But, like, listen to every word said.
- So happy that you're here. - Yeah.
- Thank you so much. - I'm honored to be here today.
Thank you so much. Really honored.
- It really means a lot to us. - But more importantly,
do I wear glasses or not? - You look amazing.
- I like the glasses. - All right. I'll do that.
I look more... - Oh, my God.
Are you trying to look serious and sensible?
- I am a minister today, okay?
- I have to be serious.
- I just wanna make this clear so everybody's clear.
An hour and a half before you guys were ready,
I said, "Just let me know when you're ready so I'm on time."
He goes, "No problem." Walks out.
Never hear from him again.
- It was negligence. - Yeah.
- It was--It was not-- - It was negligence.
- It was pure negligence.
- It was pure negligence on his part.
- Pure. - Okay.
- Let's enjoy and remember every moment.
- Sorry to interrupt. - Okay.
- Where is your backpack? - I don't often get to tell you
what to do, so I'm gonna savor this moment.
- Okay, right. - You have to take your seat.
- Okay, I'm going, I'm going.
- Third cocktail.
- I believe they're almost ready.
- Is there, uh, reserved seats? Can I just steal this one?
- Yeah, I'm dying.
It's so disgustingly hot right now
that my ass is literally, like, a Florida swamp.
I'm trying to, like, redo-- I don't wanna get a sunburn.
As excited as I am for Jax and Brit,
can you guys just please hurry up?
- Should I go get the...
- Is there any more that we could do to this?
- Spray a little pomade.
- I steamed this for, like, 45 minutes, yeah.
- There we go. Anybody else? Anybody who's cooking over here?
- Brittany, you're absolutely stunning.
- Like, beyond stunning. - You are perfect.
- You guys look so beautiful.
- Oh, so you're Lance. - I am.
- Oh, yeah, I'm sorry. This is my godmother, Aunt Jenny.
- Nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you, Lance. - Let's go. Go.
- All right. Have a good time. Good luck.
- ♪ Feeling okay ♪ - I know.
- Yeah, ready? - Okay.
- Whoo! - Whoo!
- Yeah!
- Oh, Dad, you look so handsome.
- Perfect.
- I love you so much. - I love you, too.
- Are you ready to walk me down the aisle?
- I'm ready. Are you ready? - Yeah.
- I love you. - Oh, I love you, too. Mwah.
- Do I need to let you go until you get in there?
- No, I'm gonna keep holding onto you.
- All right.
♪ Spinning like a top ♪
♪ Round and round it goes ♪
- Everybody's gonna get going. - Okay.
♪ Sliding down a highway like a headlight all alone ♪
- Oh. Got it.
♪ Maybe in the morning, I could wake up at home ♪
- You're the best.
♪ Finally, shake the pain ♪
- I am.
- I think my daddy's really proud of me.
He loved Brittany very much. He'd be so excited.
I think for once, I wouldn't ever have to think about,
like, "Oh, man, what would my dad say?"
Because I finally became the son that he raised.
It's almost time, it's almost time!
I thought that I would be a little bit nervous,
but I don't feel that way at all.
I just cannot wait to walk down the aisle
and see him for the first time.
This is the day I've dreamed of my entire life,
and it's finally happening.
♪ Holding onto something can sink you like a stone ♪
- Oh, he looks so handsome!
♪ You've gotta try your best ♪
♪ To let it go ♪
- Yes.
Jax is like a whole different person.
Here he is, so vulnerable, so sincere. I like this one.
♪ If tomorrow's a different day ♪
- Am I allowed to, like, peek out?
♪ Maybe I'll be different ♪
♪ That'll be the change ♪
♪ 'Cause I'll dive in ♪
♪ She's the ocean ♪
♪ Let the old me fade away ♪
- Love you, man. Thanks for everything.
- 5, 6, 7... - ♪ I run to the dark ♪
- Oh, my gosh.
♪ But there's no need to be afraid ♪
- Wow.
- Coming up...
- Oh, my God. Are you saying we're gonna get married?
- Come on, come on.
- I can control every other thing in my life
except for when I get married because of you.
- I have chills.
- Wow. She looks beautiful.
- She's a keeper.
- Jax, I got you.
I got you right here, right here.
- Thanks.
- I've never seen her look so happy ever.
- That looks gorgeous.
- Uh, please be seated.
- Hold your flowers down so I can see your tits.
Flowers down, tits out?
- Yeah.
- We're all here today to celebrate
the undeniable love between Jason,
the artist currently known as Jax...
And Brittany, the Beauty to his Beast.
Jason and Brittany wanted me
to thank you all for being here and to recognize
how important each and every one of you are to their lives.
There are none more important in influencing the lives
of Brittany and Jason than their families
and Lisa Vanderpump, of course.
With that being said, who gives Brittany away
in the marriage to this fine man?
- Her mother and I.
- Aw. Love you, Dad.
- Love you.
- Brittany, ladies first. - Okay.
Oh, goodness.
Jason, I have been absolutely crazy about you
since the first day that we met.
You are my best friend, my love, and my whole world.
And even though we can be very different at times,
we balance each other out, and you make me feel whole.
We love so many of the same things
like Kingsley and Monroe, Hooters,
and of course, "Friends."
I can't wait to see you as my husband,
and I already know that you will be the most incredible father.
You have made me the happiest girl in the world,
and I love you so much, honey. You're my lobster.
- All right. You're up next. - Okay.
I get really nervous. Okay.
- Brittany, you have made me
the happiest, luckiest man alive today,
and it's not because you love "Friends" as much as I do.
You walked in my life four years ago
with that big, beautiful smile and Southern accent.
Then you introduced yourself, and you told me
you bartended at Hooters.
My jaw dropped, and I said I had to marry this girl.
I never in my life have met
a more positive, caring, giving woman
who literally smiles all day long
and just wants everyone to be happy.
How could you not wanna be with this woman?
- I love you so much,
and I'm so excited to be your husband.
- I love you, too, honey. I love you so much.
Can I kiss you already or no? - Not yet.
- Who has the rings? - Tom.
- Oh, God, I gave 'em to Schwartz.
- I have 'em. I got it. - Man.
- I got it, I got it. - Shoot.
- Come on, honey. - Whoo!
Think I would lose the ring?
No, but seriously I lost it for a second.
- Whoo!
- This was a high risk, giving it to him.
- Oh, yeah. - It was an unnecessary risk.
- Brittany, you present that to him.
- All right.
Jason, repeat these words after me.
"I, Jason, take you, Brittany..."
- I, Jason, take you, Brittany...
- "...to be my lawfully wedded wife..."
- ...to be my lawfully wedded wife...
- "...for richer or for poorer..."
- ...for richer or for poorer...
- "...for as long as we both shall live."
- ...for as long as we both shall live.
- Oh.
- Brittany, please place the ring on Jason's finger
and repeat these words.
- "I, Brittany, take you, Jason..."
- I, Brittany, take you, Jason...
- "...to be my lawfully wedded husband..."
- ...to be my lawfully wedded husband...
- "...for richer or for poorer..."
- ...for richer or for poorer...
- "...for as long as we both shall live."
- ...for as long as we both shall live.
- Oh, my God. - Now that is never coming off.
- Then by the power vested in me,
I now pronounce you husband and wife.
Jason, you may kiss the bride.
- Mmm.
I love you.
- Give me one more. - I love you.
- It is my great honor and privilege
to be the first to present Mr. and Mrs. Jason Cauchi.
- I love you guys. I love you guys.
- Oh! - Careful.
- Almost tripped.
Whoo!
- So I stopped eating red meat first.
It's nice to have a fellow vegan in the area.
- Yeah, right?
- Looks like they're having fun.
- Aw, Brittany looks really pretty. She looks nice.
- Yeah, she looks super pretty.
- I wanna, like, get married in Vegas
in a drive-thru wedding, just like my dream is to just,
like, get wasted one night and just be like,
"Let's go through the drive-thru."
- Wow. These are big dreams. - Yeah.
- Sharif, do you want these? They're over at Shot Bar.
Yeah, I-I garnished that for you.
- Hi, guys. - What's up, V?
- What's up, homie? - Your section's in the front.
- Where at? - Uh, P1 through 28 will be you.
- I heard some drama about you and Dayna.
- Yeah. - What happened?
- She was the first girl I actually was, like,
down to, like, be serious with, and it was like we were--
we were "exclusive" for, like, three days,
and people started making up sh--.
- What I heard through the grapevine
is that you had a whole nother relationship going on.
- Exactly. See? And that's bullsh--.
Not true.
- Gotta keep yourself out of trouble, boy.
- So I'm just like not ----ing with anybody
and just focusing on work so I don't have to deal with it.
The busier the restaurant is right now,
the busier that I am, that's gonna just help me
keep my mind off what's going on between Dayna and I,
and that's really what-- just what I need right now.
----ing sucks.
You're four minutes late 'cause you've been talking.
- What's new? I'm always late. - All right.
Peter, do you guys need more rocks glasses?
- Yes, sir. - Oh. Go grab some.
- Do you know everybody at the table?
- I'm Kentucky. They're all California people.
Where are you from? - From London.
How about that ceremony, right?
That minister was something, right?
Yeah.
All right, guys, we are going to take this party
to the next level.
Please welcome Brittany and Jax Taylor.
- Thank you guys! - Let's hear it one more time
for your bride and groom, everyone!
- Hi, guys. - Hello.
- Sorry to interrupt, yeah. - Hello.
I have a bone to pick with you.
- You know that Katie and Tom aren't married legally?
- What are you talking about? - I know.
- I mean, is this like a subconscious decision
that Tom didn't post the letter because he has
these kind of commitment issues?
Or there's some kind of subliminal thing
that he never, ever follows through.
You had one job. - I know.
- I did everything. I wrote the vows.
I came down there and married you.
- Yes, I kinda get it, you know?
She was the person who officiated our wedding,
but, like, I don't know. She can't be that mad at me.
Can she?
- You cannot sweep everything under the rug.
- I don't sweep everything. - No, but you do.
- Some things.
- Coming up... - Obviously, you guys know
it hasn't been perfect with James.
- That is not your job to keep-- - It's not. It's not my job.
- ...even if you love someone, to keep them sober, you know?
- If he can't seek that self-help,
then I'm going to break up with him.
- God, that looks so good. I wanna drink that so bad.
- Have a sip. - I can't.
- Hi, kids. - Hi!
- Hi. Good to see you. - You, too.
- You look so cute. Always with your adorable hair accessories.
- Thank you. - How's everybody doing?
- I'm good. But I was, like, telling her,
I was, like, I can't drink 'cause I have to, like,
blow into my Breathalyzer in my car.
When I got my DUI, I jam-packed, like, five people into my car,
and we were driving to an after party in the hills,
and I got pulled over.
So I have to blow into this device before I start my car.
Whoo!
And then every 15 minutes as I'm driving. It's so embarrassing.
- You have a glow about you. What's going on in your life?
- Aw. I mean, obviously, you guys know
it hasn't been perfect, my relationship with James.
But I told him I don't wanna be an enabler.
I found myself making excuses for him constantly
and, like, coming to his rescue whenever he needed me.
- That is not your job to keep-- - It's not. It's not my job.
- ...even if you love someone, to keep them sober, you know?
- If he can't seek that self-help,
then I'm going to break up with him.
- I'm gonna do good, okay? - Okay.
- I promise you.
- Maybe, like, losing the love of his life
will finally be, like, that trigger for him
to actually make some change. - Yeah.
- I encourage you to stand your ground.
It needs to be, like, everyone
that's in your life is fully supporting you.
- When I first moved to L.A.,
I was really worried about making new friends,
and it was a bit more difficult for me.
You're about to poke me in the eye.
- I thought you were a ----ing dummy before my dad died.
- I never-- - You ----ing Bambi-eyed bitch.
- So having Dayna and Danica here supporting me
feels really nice.
- And I wanna update you guys on what happened with Max.
So Adriana had seen Max out at a restaurant with this girl.
- Uh-huh. - I thought Jones--
the really romantic Italian restaurant.
Later, I was like...
"Oh, that is a completely different restaurant than that."
- Oh, no. - And then...
Uh, yeah. Yup-bup-bup-bup-bup-bup.
I made a terrible mistake and really ran with it.
I thought the Jones they were at was a lobster dinner,
"Let's " kind of place.
But the Jones they were actually at was like
a post-Pilates, go-meet-your-ex-
because-you-don't-wanna-see-them -anymore kind of place.
- Um, I don't think it really matters, like,
where they were eating, whether, like, you got the salad place
or the romantic restaurant, like, confused.
Like, I feel like that doesn't defeat the purpose of, like,
who this person is.
Just because they were seen at a brunch spot
instead of an Italian spot does not change the fact
that Max cheated on Dayna.
It just means that you caught them at a different stage
of the cheating.
They probably grabbed dinner the night before,
went to back Max's place, banged...
Then in the morning, went out for French toast or whatever.
It doesn't matter what part of the hook-up timeline
you caught them in, they still hooked up.
- The thing is, when that happened,
he and I weren't exclusive, and we were still just dating
at that point. - And you don't think that,
like, by any chance he was, like, leading her on?
Like how he has with my friend and everybody else?
- It just was different than what I thought it was.
- Yeah.
So you're not going back to him, though, right? Or...
- I do think I'm interested and, like...
I fully believe that Max really likes me.
I wanna start over and kinda go back to what we've been doing
and just pretend this horrible ----ing week didn't happen.
- Yeah. - I feel like he just
has, like, a bouquet of, like, red flags...
- And girls are just, like,
running around WeHo, like, picking them
out of the ----ing bouquet.
- I think that's a little judge-y for someone
who has to blow a Breathalyzer to start her car.
- Oh, my God. I have to be at SUR at 5:00. It's 4:30.
- Oh, my God. - All right.
- Got things to do, people to yell at.
- Ha ha. - Bye.
- Bye! - Breathalyze safe.
I know you can do it, babe. Love that for her. Amazing.
- Heavenly Father, we thank you
for this wonderful, wonderful day, that you blessed
Brittany and Jax with such a special day.
In Jesus' name, we pray, Amen.
- Amen! - Amen!
- Everybody eat. Enjoy.
- Yes.
- Shep! - Hey!
- What's up, man?
I've known Shep for about three or four years.
Him and I really get along. He kinda likes to have fun,
has a good time, likes to be funny,
wants to be the center of attention. Bit of a womanizer.
We have a lot of the same similarities.
Hey, man, I'm so glad you're here.
- Thank you so much for coming.
- A little bit?
- Is that ranch or blue cheese? - Ranch.
- Okay.
- Come on, all you bitches. Come on, all you hoes.
Come on over here and get your asses "squoze."
- That's the past tense of "squeeze."
- Oh! - Cheers!
- Don't ask me about it.
- Cheers!
- I'm gonna take my shot then.
- I haven't had sex with anybody but Kristen in four years, so...
No.
- Seeing Carter alone, Kristen fought so hard
to have him at my wedding, yet she's nowhere near him.
Here I am trying to cut back on people
'cause the wedding was expensive.
That was one person I could have cut back on.
- Kinda going with the flow.
- Very interesting.
- Thank you. - I love everything
about this wedding right now.
- You know what I love most right now?
Air conditioning.
- I thought you were gonna say me.
- I love you. I'm just kidding.
- If we have an outside wedding, it'll be, like, in the fall
when it's cool outside. - Yeah.
- I don't want anyone to sweat.
I don't want the sun in anyone's eyes.
- Also, no kids.
- Oh, my God. Are you saying we're getting married?
- Come on, come on.
- Are you saying we're getting married?
- At some time. Oh, maybe! - Are you saying
you'll marry me? - At some point. At some point.
I know I'm...
Let me just find the right time
when I feel like I'm ready for it.
- I can control every other thing in my life
except for when I get married because of you.
I'm not gonna Dark Passenger his ass
at someone else's wedding.
I am going to be calm, level-headed,
but this.
- Supremes' song "You Can't Hurry Love"
is basically my mantra right now.
- Are you not in love with me?
- Love meaning marriage.
- Coming up...
- I don't like the way that you have been treating me lately.
- I'm just not giving you what you want.
I asked for space. I've taken my space.
Why do you wanna be with me?
- 'Cause I ----ing love you.
- Speeches!
You guys ready?
I love you guys. - I think I'm more drunk
than you are. - Jax and I--we met
about 10 years ago before I had my bearings in L.A.
My first roommate, the man standing next to me,
Tom Sandoval--I love you--
He suggested that we get a roommate.
I said, "As long as he's not too much of a presence."
- Presence.
- In barged this larger than life
hunk of a human named Jax mother----ing Taylor.
- Oh!
- He's ripped. He was tanned. - Was, was.
- He was gorgeous. These are his words, not mine.
Um...
He sh-- with the door open, and he had a sheet for a wall
with no shame.
Jax would always come home at, like, 4 in the morning, wasted.
He would unplug my air mattress.
But also, he watches reruns of "Golden Girls."
- Cut his ass off.
- I'm sorry if it's a little long. Um...
- A little?!
- So our wedding was about $100,000.
There's 24 hours in a day.
So you gotta divide that by the $100,000.
- He has a separate group chat designated solely for gossiping.
- Yes! - Do you know this?
- Divided by 17 minutes...
that's an expensive speech.
Seeing you two interact in your new home
full of fruit by the foot and weed and "Friends" reruns...
Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. - This is Kentucky!
- Anyway, I'm sorry. - This is Kentucky!
I know. I know.
- I'll shut up now. Let's make a toast to Jax and Brit.
I love you guys so much. I love you so much.
- Love you! - Love you, Tom!
Thank you, man! I love you.
- I just realized it was a little bit more
than I wanted to say.
- All right, next up,
we have the father-daughter dance.
- I love you so much. - I love you, too.
- I'm so happy.
- Watching Brittany... dance with her dad,
I can't help but think that when I get married,
the most important man in my entire life
is not gonna be there.
I'm so happy that she gets to have that.
- Let's make some noise one more time!
- Can you believe we're doing all this right now?
Ready? - Whoo!
It went down my cleavage!
- I'll get that out later.
- We're married!
- Aah!
- I like grabbing your butt like that.
- I love you.
- Hi. - Hi.
Thank you.
- You look dapper AF. Oh, my God.
- You have fun?
- Um, yes, I'm having the best time ever.
My allergies here are gnarly as hell, though.
- And what do you need? Some Flonase? You're welcome.
How long have I been telling you to do it?
At least two and a half years.
But you're so stubborn. You're more stubborn than I am.
- We're both stubborn, and we're both controlling.
Don't get all uncomfortable and weird.
Feelings are okay. You're allowed to have some feelings.
- No, you just don't listen. You know what I'm saying.
- Our "A" number one problem is that when you're scared
and you're sad, you don't know how...
- I'm scared and sad? - ...to talk to me about it.
- Why would I be scared and sad right now?
I'm at a castle in Kentucky having a blast
and hanging out with you.
- You texted me yesterday that I'm selfish and unkind.
- You were selfish and unkind at the time, yes.
- You know that I am none of those things,
and you say those things to subconsciously manipulate me
because you are sad and hurt. - Okay.
- Because you want me to give you attention and say,
"It's gonna all be okay, it's gonna be okay."
But it's not working right now.
- I love you, and I want to be with you,
but I don't want to play this game anymore,
and I don't like the way
that you have been treating me lately.
- I haven't treated you any way.
I'm just not giving you what you want.
I asked for space, and I've taken my space,
and it ----ing breaks me. - You're my best friend.
You know that. - Why do you wanna be with me?
- 'Cause I ----ing love you.
- It would have been so sad if Carter weren't here,
but it's also making me sad that he is here.
- You were the person that I want to be with
and have conversations.
If we were in the middle of nowhere,
and I could have a conversation with anybody, it would be you.
- All of my friends are finding their happily-ever-after.
Jax and Brittany just got married.
Stassi and Beau are on their way to being engaged any minute.
Katie and Tom are going for their second wedding.
And here I am, four years into a relationship
and not anywhere close to my happily-ever-after.
- this sh--.
- Coming up...
- I have 60 bottles of vodka,
and they're charging people for it.
I spent $100,000 on this wedding--
over $100,000. I want my ----ing vodka there.
♪ Of all of the fish
in the sea ♪
♪ How could it be that I found you ♪
♪ And you found me? ♪
♪ Hey ♪
- I'm gonna go to bed, okay? - You didn't meet my mom.
- Thank you so much. - You got it.
- The decision to come to this wedding
is absolutely the right one, but for me,
I'm in mourning for my mother.
I just want to just be present
at this moment in their happiness.
I'm going to bed. - Love you guys.
- Love you.
- Single ladies! Ladies!
- Brittany!
- I got money on Kristen. I got money on Kristen.
- Let me in the front then. I'm putting down this firework
and my Chanel bag.
- Throw it to Katie!
- Katie's out here.
I'm trying to aim for Stassi 'cause I think she's next
and trying to avoid Kristen because I don't want Kristen
catching the bouquet yet until she has somebody
she's ready to catch the bouquet for.
- My cousin Amanda caught the bouquet,
and I think she's, like, 18, so...
that's another person who maybe
doesn't need to get married just yet.
- And I got... - Oh, lots of sparklers.
- You guys, one at a time! - Want me to hold it?
- Let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go.
- Oh!
- I love you, baby. - Love you.
- I feel like Brittany's Prince Charming today.
I mean, we're throwing one classy wedding.
- I'll see you! - Hey, to the castle!
- And a wedding like this needs one classy party.
♪ Let's go ♪
- Baby! - Yes! Work that flatty!
- This wedding has given me a lot of ideas
for what I could do for my wedding,
and it's also given me things
that I do not want for my wedding,
which is Hooters girls with huge tits asking me
if I want ranch with my chicken wings.
♪ Now all I see is ♪
♪ Lights and flashes ♪
♪ Now turn the music up ♪
♪ Lights, cameras, action ♪
♪ I wanna see the... ♪
♪ Lights, lights, flashes ♪
- I feel like Tom is living out his teenage boyband dreams.
So if they ever wanna get 'NSYNC back together,
you know, Justin Timberlake's obviously very busy, so...
- Do you want another drink, or you're doing okay?
- I'll do another Chardonnay Light Horse.
- Okay. Okay. Perfect. Enjoy your food right now.
- Yeah! You guys should get a shot.
What do you guys like? Do you guys like tequila? Whiskey?
- Thanks for the ride, babe.
- Have a good shift. - Thank you.
What are you doing tonight? - I'm going to go
to a friend's party in the hills.
- Okay, you're not drinking. - No drinking.
- Better not be. - I promise you.
Got my car. Gonna drive. - I love you.
- Have a good shift. Text me. - Okay, text me.
- Bye.
- Oh, you're not there with everyone at the wedding?
- No. We gotta get that money. - Exactly.
- But I'm excited for them. - Same.
- I mean, if I ever did get married,
which I don't even know that I would,
it would be, like, at a courthouse.
I don't, like, love weddings. I think they're kinda wack,
but that's just me. - That's so funny.
So wait, are you and Max still together?
- No. - Why?
- I think I might have jumped the gun
on ending things with him, and I'm, like, trying
to catch him tomorrow at TomTom before the day starts
to, like, talk about things.
I regret breaking up with Max so quickly.
Historically, I've a hard time in relationships.
So my defense mechanism is to immediately
cut someone off at the first sign of trouble.
I just--I don't feel right. I just feel the need
to have a conversation with him, you know?
- Yeah.
- This is a perfect example of my defense mechanism
biting me in the ass.
- Well, I feel like I definitely don't know you and Max enough
to make huge judgment calls, but, you know,
I'm just like, what the hell does this guy have
that's so magical that all these girls are willing to...
- Big old dick. - I guess so, because I just
could not allow someone... - I mean...
- ...to disrespect me like that. - No, and I'm that way, too,
but, like, I don't know. I just--I don't feel settled,
and I feel like I need to talk to him about it.
- I think it's awesome that I'm the youngest person here
and not the dumbest.
- We'll see. - It'll all get figured out.
- We'll see. - If not,
just go suck that dick.
- Look, I can move my bum.
- Lala has taught you well. Just move your arms.
Babe, you're doing great.
- Once we walked through the Hooters tunnel,
there was definitely a change in tone.
It's like we all went from, like, wedding fashion chic
to, like, Kentucky chic.
Actually, probably, like, drunk chic.
- Could you imagine that could have been you up there?
You know, when people go, "Jax is an asshole,"
I'm like...thank God, because if he wasn't...
- I'm so glad Jax is an asshole. - Right.
- I would never have met you.
Okay, as embarrassing as this is,
there was a point in time
where I said that I wanted to marry Jax.
- Everybody's like, "Holy sh--,
You're the girl that settled him down."
I'm pressuring him to marry me.
I'm kidding. But really, no, I'm not kidding.
Do not trust anything a 23-year-old girl says,
especially about a guy who lives in West Hollywood
who says he's a supermodel. Just don't.
I love you. - I love you more.
- I'm sorry I can't twerk.
- Dip me.
Whoa!
- Being a bridesmaid is the best.
I mean, you're first on the guest list.
You get dressed up, gotta look super hot.
Make out with single groomsmen.
I'm doing everything Kristen should be doing,
but instead, she's out chasing Carter
through the darkness at the castle.
Oh, well, I get the tall one.
- Where's your money? Where's your wallet?
- I gave it all to the bartenders.
- I need cash for the bar. - Why?
- Because it's a cash bar.
- People wanna drink. Now these people are gonna ----ing leave.
Mitchell, I have 60 bottles of vodka,
and they're charging people for it. That cannot happen.
- Let me get Christie.
- She needs to take that cash register off.
What the you're having a cash register there for?
After everything I've put out for this wedding,
I have to look over my shoulder and see my friends
paying for drinks? I mean, this is embarrassing.
Hey, I have 60 bottles of vodka. - No, no, no, no.
- We've been here an hour. Where is it?
I've spent $100,000 on this wedding--over $100,000.
I want my ----ing vodka there.
The vodka's not there. - Oh.
- Nobody took care of it.
- There were cases of vodka at the other bar.
- Yeah.
- Now they're charging people at my bar for drinks.
I'm like, "Dude..." - Oh, yeah.
- I wanna grab them if that's cool.
- Okay... - Okay, cool.
- They're charging people for drinks.
I had 60 bottles of vodka. That's mine. I paid for it.
They're bartenders. They make $10 an hour.
They don't give a sh--
- This is what a best man is for.
In a time of crisis, you come through with the victory
and save the day.
I got all the vodka over here. Everything's set up. It's done.
- Really? - Yeah.
- I appreciate that. Tom took care of the vodka.
- Sorry. I don't know what you guys are talking 'bout.
- Sandoval as my best man, you know, if I was to grade him,
I'd give him maybe a "B-" or a "C." It's passing.
- Very happy that you are here. - Me, too. I'm so honored.
- This wedding was perfect. Like, this is just
such an incredible moment.
- We love you, Mamaw.
- Love you, too.
- I feel like we've, like, beaten the odds.
We made it through, and we're stronger than ever.
- We're married. - Big old titties. I love them.
- You're my husband.
- Oh, sorry. I love them, and I love you, too.
- Cheers!
- Love you. - I love you.
- To our second wedding. - To our second wedding.
- Now that you're drunk, I gotta put you to bed.
- You're my wife. - You're my husband.
- Coming up...
- I want to apologize to you because
I don't think you were lying. - Ever since day one
of you and I hanging out, I've been defending myself.
- We can move forward from this, but, like,
the ball's in your court.
♪ All I need ♪
♪ Is your love, your love ♪
- Honey? - Yes?
- We're married.
- Is everybody going back today?
- We have to be out of here by 11.
- Should I go wake everybody up? - Probably so.
- I don't wanna get charged any late fees.
It's time to wake up, mother----ers.
The free ride's over.
I'm not paying for anybody's rooms
because they don't wanna get up before 11 a.m. That's not fair.
Don't shrug your shoulders. That's not happening.
- I can't even think right now.
We'll see whenever you text me how much it is and stuff,
and then we'll go from there.
- I wanna know how much that is, though.
- I know. Once it comes, I'll let you know.
No, I won't.
♪ Everybody want me, we're never typical ♪
♪ And we know the freaks and weirdos in town ♪
♪ Come on over ♪
♪ I got a secret for you ♪
- I feel like I haven't been here in a very long time.
- You haven't. - Like, I almost didn't know
if I should just open the gate. - How are you?
- Good. How about you? - I'm good. I'm all right.
- Wanna sit down? - Is that a letter for me?
- This is for Lisa,
and I just don't know when I'm gonna see her.
- Okay. - So will you give that to her?
- Yeah. - So that's devastating
about her mom. - Yeah.
- I like your brand-new tattoo. - Thank you.
- Don't talk to you for a day, and you're just a new person.
- I know. Felt a little wild.
- So...first of all, I want to apologize to you
because I don't think you were lying,
and when it comes to the girl that you were previously seeing,
something clicked with me yesterday.
Do you know there's two restaurants called Jones?
I didn't know that, so when she said "Jones,"
I'm picturing you with her at a romantic Italian restaurant.
I was wrong. So that's, um, oops,
that was a boo-boo on my part.
- Like, I've so honest with you and now you're just
gonna listen to all these people that just have been
---ing down your ear since the moment
you walked into SUR about us? - So can you not understand
where I'm coming from? I mean, it looked bad for you.
- It did. - And it wasn't--
and it isn't your fault, but it did.
- Yeah. I appreciate your apology,
but I wanna say I'm sorry, but I was frustrated
that you believed everyone and not me.
- I feel like we can move forward from this, but, like,
the ball's in your court.
- The girls at SUR were trying to ruin our relationship
since the beginning, and Dayna finally let it happen.
I just think after all this has happened,
I just need time to just ----ing focus for a second.
I don't wanna start again with her
because I don't wanna defend myself anymore.
I'm tired.
- I mean, do you still have feelings for me?
- I don't know.
I think we do need the time for sure.
- Okay.
That's it? Like, I'm crushed because I-I really want him
to meet me halfway, and I really put myself out there,
which isn't really something I do a lot.
I think Max brings it out of me
because of how much I care about him.
I wish this would work. I, like, tried,
and it didn't work out for me again.
See you later. - Talk to you later.
- Let's go. Housekeeping.
- We have to go. - Why?
- Damn. - I know this room's
a little crazy, but we have about 26 minutes.
- Can I finish my speech now?
- Yeah.
- Hi. - What's going on here?
Who's in here sleeping?
- What time is it?
- I thought I could be strong.
I thought that I would not backslide, yet...
- It's just you two in here? - I think you were outside.
- Kris--Kristen likes to party. - I still have my clothes on.
- Yeah, of course we had a threesome.
Kidding. Oh, my God. It's not 2007.
I don't do that...anymore.
- Dead serious, though. Gotta go.
Get outta here! It's over!
- Okay. - Go.
- Credit cards are maxed out. Time to go. Party's over.
I'm gonna go to SUR and go pick up some shifts.
Everybody please leave the ----ing castle now!
- Thank you all for coming!
- Still to come on this season of "Vanderpump Rules"...
- Why do I get this sense that something bad's about to happen?
♪ There's a sour taste ♪
- I'm gonna bust you in your ----ing lip.
- Thanks, Lala. - My two best friends, right?
My two sisters. - We're not sisters.
♪ I think you kept it in too long ♪
- Husband and wife.
- You do have a habit of self-destruction.
- What?!
♪ Champagne kisses all night long ♪
- If I had known that I was gonna be interested in Brett,
I would never have gone after Max.
- You have to get help.
♪ And we fizzle and fade like that old love song ♪
- Shut the up.
- Katie, you're an idiot! - Shut up!
- That's why I don't have sex with her.
- I'm doing this single, at 34, ----ing divorced.
- Congratulations. Your plan isn't gonna work.
- You can either go home to Kristen,
or you can go home to me. - You're yelling at me.
- I don't care.
- Jax, why can't you be happy for me?
- He's ----ing delusional. - What is going on with you?
- You have the ability to control yourself.
- I don't. Thinking about my wedding,
it just was so quick, and I feel like did I do the right thing?
- I just don't want you to start going back into your old ways.
- Jason is gone, and Jax is back.
- To see more of "Vanderpump Rules,"
go to bravotv.com.