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出格
译制
现在播报太空奇闻轶事 And in weird things in space news,
神秘"裂缝"依旧在太空某处 that mysterious "rift" is still there.
并未消失 你应该没忘记吧? Not gone yet. You remember that, don't you?
这么大的事 It's probably important.
接下来的时间交给塔比莎 Back to you, Tabitha.
瑞克 我妈在上班 我爸在睡懒觉 Rick, Mom's working, and Dad's still sleeping.
我-我-我 快迟到了 I'm -- I'm -- I'm gonna be late.
行行行 我帮你 Yeah, yeah. I-I got you.
-走着 -我操 -Here. -Holy shit.
传送枪修好了? I-Is the portal gun working again?
嗯 算修好了吧 Yeah, pretty much.
有时候会出点小故障 Sometimes that happens.
还是开车送我算了 Just get the keys.
现在不走传送门也挺好的 It's actually been nice taking a break from the portal travel stuff.
高中生活当作冒险也不错 I-I've been racking up a lot of high-school adventures.
-莫蒂 修传送枪不是一蹴而就的 -嗯? I have a process, Morty. Huh?
每次你提起传送门的事 I'm fixing my portal gun, and every time you bring it up,
我就灵感衰竭 it blocks my creative flow.
我只好故意继续拖延 A-And then I'm forced to take longer on purpose
好让你不要再提起 just to train you to not bring it up.
我去 你知道心理学上的"投射"什么意思吗? Geez. Do you know what "projection" is?
-你知道吗? -不知道 -Do you? -No.
我听我妈说过这个词 I-I-I heard Mom use it.
我去 他又来学校了 Lord, no. He's here again?
紧急启动莫蒂应对方案 Morty protocol, children.
你又有什么幺蛾子? Oh, what's it now?
脑虫?太空虫? Brain bugs? Space worms?
难道又要上演一出《老师不是人》? Have I been "The Faculty'd" again?
1998年的电影
你们天天这么大惊小怪真的没必要 You guys don't have to react like this every day.
上次我被外星人逼迫舔马桶盖 Last time, the aliens made me lick all the toilet seats.
对!我是被他们逼的 That's right -- made me.
你们不许用这种眼神看我 I see that look on your faces.
小怪物 你这次又干了什么啊? What did you do, ya tiny monster?
我什么也没干啊 This isn't me.
人民想知道- The people demand to know --
这些天外来客是否来者不善 Do these visitors come in peace?
先插播一条皮特家的披萨店 But first, "Peter's Pizza Corner."
皮特 我们今天品评什么口味的呢? What slice we reviewing today, Petey?
奶酪披萨 Cheese.
这些外星人如果想占领地球 If these aliens want Earth,
先过了埃及这关再说 they'll have to go through Egypt.
看木乃伊同不同意 And they can ask mummies how that goes.
额滴个木乃伊啊! Mummy mia!
恐龙怎么回来了? Dinosaurs are back?
猴子怎么秃顶了? Monkeys went bald?
瑞克与莫蒂
翻译：出格
嘘 Shh!
会议开始前… Before we start...
我想知道我们的同类跑哪去了? where are the rest of... us?
呃… Uh...
已经灭绝了 They died. Uh...
灭绝好久了 Long time ago.
在人类诞生前就灭绝了 我们什么也不知道 Way before us. We didn't see nothin'.
但我们的祖先怎么着都会留下遗迹吧? But surely our ancestors must have left some evidence behind.
为什么他这么紧张? Why is he nervous?
因为 呃 你们是恐龙 Because, uh, you're dinosaurs.
感觉怪怪的 It's weird.
本来以为你们都灭绝了 Thought you were dead.
我们"恐龙"在地球上进化到了 Moving on, we "dinosaurs" evolved here on Earth
科技树天人合一的地步 until our technology was planetarily harmonic.
毕竟这才是科技的终极目标 That being the goal with technology.
在我们与地球母亲间达到完美平衡后 After we achieved perfect balance with Mother Earth,
最勇敢的恐龙为了帮助其他星球离开了地球 our best and bravest left to help other planets.
在过去的几百万年间 我们在很多星球上安居乐业 Over millions of years, we've called many worlds home
帮各大星球实现了繁荣兴旺 and helped each one flourish.
但如今回到家园的我们竟发现同类灭绝了 Imagine our surprise upon returning home to find our species extinct
地球居然落到了… and Earth now in the care of...
你们手上 you guys.
我们离开的时候 你们和松鼠没什么两样 When we left, you were basically squirrels.
那个 我们进化了 Well, uh, we've come a long way,
我们现在不埋松果了 埋别的 and we -- We've buried a lot more than nuts.
我们已经过了批评他人的进化阶段 We've evolved past nonconstructive criticism,
总之你们尽力了 so let's agree you've done your best.
你们还没灭绝 You're still alive.
但是在火药被发明后 But surely there was some point between gunpowder
亚马逊Prime会员出来前 and something called Amazon Prime
你们肯定想过 that you folks had to think,
"我们到底适不适合管理地球? "Are we supposed to be running a planet?
还不如专心拍…漫威电影? Wouldn't we rather make... Marvel movies?"
你们拍了多少漫威电影啊? How many Marvel movies have you made?
29部了 还有14部即将上映 29, and 14 more on the way.
你看 这才是你们爱干的事 See, you love doing that.
而帮新物种站稳脚跟是我们爱干的事 And we love helping new life-forms get their footing.
既然我们回来了 地球可以交还给我们了吧 So now that we're back, we can respectfully take it from here.
打住 你们要是看过《终局之战》 Now, hold on. If you've seen "Endgame,"
就应该知道 面对侵略 地球人拒绝躺平 you know invasion is not something Earth takes lying down.
我们没有侵略地球呀 This is not an invasion.
并且你们不是喜欢躺平吗? Besides, wouldn't you like to lie down?
你们难道不累吗? Ugh. You must be exhausted.
躺平休息下 多文几个纹身 Put your feet up, get more tattoos,
把蚁人的角色好好塑造下 finish rounding out this "Ant-Man" character.
你们地球人不是最喜欢"休假"吗? Think of it like your Earth concept of "vacation,"
就当休假到永远咯 except permanent.
我代表全球其他领导人表示 I think I speak for all world leaders
我们要是拒绝了你们 穷人会把我们赶尽杀绝的 when I say that the poor people would just murder us if we made you leave, so...
欢迎回家 恐龙们 welcome home, dinosaurs.
我等休假等很久了 Oh. I could use a vacation.
我们核平它们咋样? Should we nuke them?
柯蒂斯 我在休假呢 I'm on vacation, Curtis.
你真是翻脸比翻书还快 Well, you leaned into this fast.
恐龙接管一切.
祖尼角龙 Zuniceratops
物资不再匮乏.。
冰脊龙 Elvisaurus
斑比盗龙 Bambiraptor
不用上班 冰箱满满.。
挺足龙 Erectopus
霍格沃茨龙王龙 Dracorex hogwartsia
再无股票!
哥吉拉龙 Gojirasaurus
失业率百分百.。
火山齿龙 Vulcanodon
人人都无怨言.。
索伦眼龙 Sauroniops
布万龙 Phuwiangosaurus
最aa后一个头条 排字工人说aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
最后一个头条 排字工人说
这些都是真的恐龙名字 Those are real dinosaur names
老娘装不下去了 玩游戏没有一点成就感 Ugh. I can't even pretend to feel useful in a game.
难道人类文明就这么终结了吗? This is how humanity's story ends?
摆脱一切责任 和孩子们一起干坐着? Relieved of duty and sat at the kids' table?
我反正对这些恐龙肃然起敬 I gotta respect these dinosaurs.
人类想要休闲时间 They dominated a whole species
现在给了你们又不开心 just by calling its bluff
它们就这么把我们给征服了 about wanting more free time.
这哪叫征服啊? 它们都不屑和我们打仗 They didn't even dominate us because we're not worth a fight to them.
我们简直就是行走的泰勒·派瑞电影 We've become biological Tyler Perry movies.
它们不过是帮我们忙而已 All they've done is help.
我们才不需要它们帮忙啊 We didn't need their help.
问题又不在我们 We were not the problem.
我们家可是会回收垃圾的 This house recycles.
垃圾分类是垃圾厂的事啊! They sort it at the trash facility!
什么鬼?我跳舞的视频怎么一个赞都没有? What the "F"? My dance videos are getting, like, zero likes now.
恐龙把抖音上的恋童癖都给封了 Oh, yeah. The dinos kicked pedophiles off TikTok.
那我现在怎么赚钱? Great. So, now I'm broke?
你现在不需要钱了 You don't need money anymore.
那手机现在还有什么用啊? So, what's this for now?
难道用来打电话吗? Phone calls? Ugh.
爸 你难道不讨厌这样子吗? Oh, c'mon, Dad. You don't hate this, too?
有什么讨厌的? Why would I?
我一直在做自己喜欢做的事情呀 I was already doing what I wanted.
不过还蛮好笑的 因为你们现在和杰瑞没有什么差别了 I do think it's kind of funny that you're all basically Jerry now.
操 Fuck
爸 你怎么做到的啊? Jerry, how do you do it?
对啊 爸 你怎么做到的? Yeah, Dad, how do you do it?
爸 你是怎么做到的? How do you do it, Dad?
-哈? -你是怎么做到的? - Huh? - How do you do it?
终于等到了今天 It's finally happened.
太好了 All right.
有人知道怎么把书稿寄给出版社吗? Does anyone know how to mail things to publishers?
总统又呼叫我了 Uhp. President only pages me
要么是有急事 要么是他想嗑摇头丸了 if it's an emergency or he needs Molly.
布尔 还好你还营业 I'm sure glad you stayed open, Beau.
我也想付钱你 Wish we could pay,
但是资本主义已经被消灭了 but no more capitalism.
总统先生 我做肋排可不是为了钱 I never make ribs for the money, Mr. President.
拿去 Oh, um, here ya go.
我呼叫你又不是想要这个 That's not why I called.
毒品怎么可能解决问题 Drugs can't solve this problem.
这样的生活我一天都过不下去了 I can't live like this anymore.
刚开始几天还挺舒服 At first it was fun spending all day
看油管视频一天看到晚不停歇 watching whatever YouTube autoplays after the last one autoplayed,
但是Grammarly的广告看多了真的会反胃 but a man can only watch so many ads for Grammarly.
瑞克 求你帮帮我 Rick. Please.
你不被道德伦理所束缚 You're not bound by morality.
消灭它们 割它们的喉 Get rid of them. Slit their necks.
学《猎杀本·拉登》里把它们全干掉 Zero Dark Thirty these fuckers for the good of the species.
我保证不说 I won't tell.
帮我们过上以前的生活吧 Help us go back to the old days,
让我们继续创造问题然后装模作样解决问题 where we pretend to fix the problems we caused.
一边是你 一边是拥有神力的超智慧生物 You think I'm gonna side with you over hyper-intelligent creatures
我凭什么帮你啊? operating way beyond your comprehension?
我明明更像它们 I have more in common with them than you.
你个目中无人的自闭傻逼! You pompous autistic cadaver!
你是不是以为你能独善其身?我- You think you're above this? I ought to...
总统先生 你听我一句 Look here, Mr. President.
我在烹饪肋排的时候 When I need my ribs to be tender and delicious,
会对它们万般宠爱 I pamper them.
你只有愿意付出代价 See, if you give someone what they want,
才能得到回报 they'll give you what you need.
一点拙见 I'm jus' saying.
布尔 我听懂了 I see your point, Beau.
那行吧 瑞克 哈哈 All right, Rick. Ha ha.
开个价吧 Name your price.
我靠 Aw, crap.
我勒个去 God damn it.
你怎么这么爱用《西部世界》里那套耍我? How often are you "Westworld-ing" me?
等下 肋排把他的芯片卡住了 Hang on. Rib-tips jammed his folk-chip again.
瑞克最靠得住了 Ol' reliable Rick.
总能想到办法 Always k-knows what to do.
瑞克 你到底想要什么? What do you want, Rick? .
我不会放下身段回答这个问题的 I won't stoop to answering that again.
我想要什么你心知肚明 You know exactly what I want.
但是那件事哪有这么容易实现啊? I can't just snap my fingers and get you that job.
那行吧 谢谢你请我吃饭 Yeah, yeah. Thanks for lunch.
好好好 Fine. Fine!
只要你能除掉恐龙 If you get rid of the dinosaurs...
我就让你主持奥斯卡 you can host the Oscars.
太好了! Yes!
瑞克真是心口如一 真心实意 公正无私 Righteous R-Rick. Straight shootin', t-truth-tellin',
不说谎不尿床 never wets the bed.
别了 老朋友们 Goodbye, old friends.
愿你们安息在地底 May you rest in peace,
无需困在油箱里 rather than the tank of an S.U.V.
你们好呀 宇宙旅行同好们 Hello, fellow cosmic voyagers.
有事需要我们帮忙吗? {\fn微软雅黑
纪念制片麦克·孟德尔