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《波士頓法律》前集回顧 Previously on 'Boston legal'
為什麼我在你身上聞到了sex的味道 Denise? Why do you smell of sex, Denise?
是Brad嗎? Is it Brad?
你告訴其他人了? Did you tell anybody?
那他怎麼可能知道的呢? How could he possibly know?
- 怎麼? - 這次我聞到了Brad還有Jeffrey - What? - This time I detect both Brad and Jeffrey.
和Sandy到底怎麼了? What happened with Sandy?
她只是不喜歡那個樣子的我罷了 She just didn't like me that way.
會有女人喜歡那樣子的你的 There will be women who do.
如果Bethany出局了 我可是完全可以的 If Bethany's out, I am hugely available.
我能帶你出去吃晚餐嗎? Can I take you to dinner?
恩 事實上 我要趕飛機額 Well, actually, I'm getting on a plane.
- 你要去哪兒? - Hawaii. - Where are you going? - Hawaii.
是和我媽媽麼? Is it my mother?
是的 Yes.
我真希望我沒傷害到她 I hope I didn't hurt her.
告訴Bella她最好小心點 Tell Bella she'd better watch her back.
Denny! Denny!
Bella Bella.
你看上去很藍（也有沮喪之意） You look blue.
我被惡毒的恐怖分子襲擊了 I've been attacked by vicious terrorists.
- 恐怖分子? - 環保恐怖分子 - Terrorists? - Ecoterrorists.
你得給我上庭去弄張禁令來 Denny You need to go to court and get me a restraining order, Denny,
而且我希望今天就把這事結了. and I want it done today.
Bella 你看上去很藍 Bella, you look blue.
我是很沮喪 I am blue.
就是COTA組織 反對用動物做實驗組織 The COTA, coalition opposed to the testing of animals,
他們幾年來都對我窮追猛打 they've been after me for years.
- 為什麼? - 我的公司唄 - Why? - My company.
我有個梅子化妝品公司 "為精力充沛女人做好化妝品" I own Plum cosmetics, "makeup for the robust woman."
我不用那些的 I don't use them.
看得出來 I can tell.
他們聲稱我們用動物來測試產品 They claim we experiment on animals to test our products.
- 是這麼回事情麼? - 當然是啦 - Do you? - Of course we do.
看在老天的份上 我們要保證化妝品安全啊! We have to ensure the makeup is safe, for God's sake!
我受夠了這些 神經 動物癡 自由暴徒! I have just had enough of these psycho, animal-loving, liberal thugs!
- 去死吧 - Denny, 把槍給我 - Damn. - Denny, give me the gun.
這是我的 It's mine.
嘿! Hey!
我希望你們倆都出面擺平他們 I want you both to get them.
我沒空 Bella 對不住了 I'm unavailable, Bella. I apologize.
為什麼不? Why not?
因為我有比給你做代理 更有意思的事情要做 就這原因 Because I have more fun things to do than represent you. That's all.
比如? Such as?
額 小運河問題等 Uh, root canal.
也許我該拿點什麼尖的東西刺我眼睛 Maybe I could stick something really sharp in my eye,
簡單的快樂呵呵 the simple pleasures.
我希望你和其他在這 律所掛名的合夥人來代理我 I want you and the other name partners of this firm representing me.
我不代理你 Bella. I'm not representing you, Bella.
- Denny! - 等一下 小蛋糕 - Denny! - One moment, cupcake.
Shirley! Shirley!
Shirley 當女人不高興的時候 Shirley, when the woman is unhappy,
受罪的總是男人 the man is rarely satisfied.
我讓你和我的槍玩怎樣 I'll let you play with my gun.
你的槍碰到我總是早走火的 Denny. Your gun goes off too prematurely for me, Denny.
總是這樣 It always has.
Vanessa... Vanessa...
你穿著件黃色裙子 you're wearing a yellow dress.
你怎麼看出來的? How could you tell?
真的很可愛 It's lovely.
謝謝 Thank you.
我們能想辦法讓你 舌頭老實呆在你嘴裡麼 夥計? Could we get you to put your tongue back in your mouth there, soldier?
謝天謝地我們有你啊 Brad 來管住我們的舌頭 Thank goodness we have you, Brad, to keep track of our tongues.
你要不要一個我這周要去的 所有地方的單子啊? Would you like a list of all the places mine has been this week?
變態 Perv.
Brad 不是想吵架哦 Brad, not to start up trouble,
但是你不是唯一的那個 你自己知道不? but you're not the only one. You do realize that?
你在亂說些什麼? What are you talking about?
我相信你能弄明白的 I'm sure you can figure it out.
你不是唯一的那個 You're not the only one.
我剛和檢察院那邊通話來著 I just got off the phone with the DA's office.
他們抓了一位... They picked up a mister...
Steinkellner先生 Steinkellner.
是的 但他完全否認是COTA把你噴藍的 Yes, and while he is officially denying that COTA painted you blue,
而那協會寬恕和支持這行為 他們覺得你用這原色很好看 the coalition condones and supports it, thinks you look good in a primary color
而且他們還希望再弄這麼一件 and is in fact calling for a second coat.
我不死他們是不會罷手的 They're not gonna stop until I'm dead.
你得採取點行動 就現在 You need to do something now.
我覺得面前吹過一陣冷風 I feel a wintry frost blowing my way.
好的 我盡力弄個會議 Okay, I'll try to set up a meeting.
與此同時 In the meantime,
也許你可以跟她說說就這麼算了 或者不要這麼計較了 maybe you could either try to talk her off the ledge or push her over.
我聽到了 I heard that.
她只是嫉妒我因為我沒她老得快 She's jealous 'cause I've aged better.
Bella 也許那些人並不是反感你的 化妝品而是因為是你所以才反對你 Bella, maybe those people aren't protesting your cosmetics so much as you being you.
你應該牢記要是我和Denny結婚的話 You might keep in mind that should I marry Denny,
我在這律所也有一席之地 I'll have a stake in this firm.
除非有人真心想把你那份東西拿走呢 Unless someone manages to drive that stake through your heart,
這目標又不大 small target that it is.
你想跟我化妝室單挑麼? You want to adjourn to the powder room?
Bella 我是這律所的高級合夥人 Bella, I'm the senior partner in a law firm.
我在一所大學的教導處做指導 I sit on the board of directors of a university,
還有兩個博物館和一所醫院 two museums and a hospital.
我自認為是個聰明 文明和有品德的人 I consider myself an intelligent, civilized and dignified person.
這都是為了說明 All of which is to say that
如果你和我化妝室單挑 if you and I were to adjourn to the powder room,
我會好好地把你整死 I would kick your over-the-top ass.
我激動起來了 I'm aroused.
我能跟你說說麼? May I speak with you?
當然 Sure.
我在想了你說的以後 I was thinking about what you said,
就是 有女人會喜歡這樣子的我 那些 about how there will be women out there who like me for me.
我那麼說了? I said that?
開玩笑啦 I'm kidding.
當然有那樣的女人啦 Of course those women are out there,
很多這樣的女人 Clarence. lots of women, Clarence.
我在考慮 恩... I was wondering, uh...
你 會不會... whether you...
也是其中的一位 might be one of them.
天 我好奇Clarence能跑哪兒去了呢 Gee, I wonder where Clarence could have gone.
把袋子拿了 Clarence. Take off the bag, Clarence.
我被炒了麼? Am I fired?
沒 你還得為我工作 No, you work for me.
如果這會影響你決定的話我可以辭職的 I'm willing to quit if it affects your decision.
我可不想你辭職 I don't want you to quit.
而且我願意和你約會 And I'd love to go out with you.
真的? Really?
真的 Really.
我現在得立馬去趟洗手間 I need to go to the bathroom right now.
男士洗手間那邊 Clarence Men's room, Clarence.
恩 Crane先生? Um, Mr. Crane?
我的名字是 恩 Matthew Steinkellner My name is, uh, Matthew Steinkellner.
你想要見我? You wanted to see me?
你就是襲擊Bella的人? You're the man who attacked Bella?
沒 我從未襲擊過任何人 知道麼? No, I've never attacked anybody, okay?
肯定是有什麼誤會 There must be some mistake.
你自己造成的 孩子 You made it, son.
這是個小建議 Here's a piece of advice.
你們那組合要停止襲擊Bella Horowitz Your group needs to stop targeting Bella Horowitz.
我這麼說不是因為在乎她的生活 而是你們的 I say this not only out of concern for her life, but for yours.
很 很抱歉 那聽起來像是恐嚇 I'm, I'm sorry. That sounds like a threat.
我是說 律師那樣子做恐嚇是合法的麼? I mean, is that legal for attorneys to make threats like that?
再給你個小建議 Here's another piece of advice.
總是帶個律師在身邊 Always have your lawyer with you.
這樣的話 當我否認我說過什麼 而我又經常會這麼做 That way, when I deny having said something, which I typically do,
你就會有個證人了 you'll have a witness.
恩 實際上... Well, actually...
我會在法庭上和你 一決高低的,你個胖老男人 I will mop up the courtroom floor with you, you fat old man.
發生什麼了? What's going on here?
恩 恩 恩 Well, well, well.
恐怖公主 Princess Hideous.
她要代理那個把你噴藍的男人 She's representing the man who painted you blue.
你對此有意見? You got a problem with that?
Bethany 不管我們有什麼分歧 甜心 Bethany, no matter what our differences, sweetheart,
我把你撫養大肯定不是 要你代理恐怖主義者的 I certainly never brought you up to represent terrorists.
這和我要為誰代理沒關係 女王殿下 This has nothing to do with who I'm defending, queenie.
這是關於我要跟誰算帳的問題 This is about who I'm going after.
走吧 Matthew Come on, Matthew.
早上好 Good morning.
Shirley在哪兒呢 Denny? Where's Shirley, Denny?
他們剛去法庭了 They just left for court.
發生什麼了? What's going on?
沒發生什麼 只是你們被邀請出席了 What is going on is your presence is hereby requested,
看看吧 邀請你們來參加我們辦公室 這週四晚的化裝舞會 check that, required at our office costume party this Thursday night.
化裝舞會? A costume party?
我自做主張請了個助手 I have taken the liberty of hiring a consultant
來增進下辦公室的士氣 for the purpose of improving office morale.
顯然的 化裝舞會是黃金機會 Evidently, costume parties are gold.
並且 我希望你們每個人都打扮成 Moreover, I want each of you to dress up
一些你們喜歡樹立自己價值觀或者 獲取努力來源的人們的形象 as somebody whose values or strengths you like to imbue yourselves with.
如果我們都打扮成你 那又有什麼樂子? Where's the fun in that if we all come dressed as you?
目的是為了對你的工作同伴 更多地展現一些你自己 The point is to reveal a little of yourself to your coworkers,
而我是很嚴肅地這麼說 and I am serious about this.
我希望你們大家都努力一把 I want you all to make an effort.
這真像個高中 This is so high school.
就和你與Jeffrey在男廁所 打架沒什麼兩樣吧? As opposed to you and Jeffrey slugging it out in the men's room?
- 我贏了 - 你才沒 - I won. - Did not.
閉嘴 Shut up.
這倒是很有士氣嘛 There's some morale.
你們都得化裝出場 沒有例外 You will all be there in costume, no exceptions.
就這麼多了 That is all.
Denise 我能問你點事麼 Denise, can I ask you something?
當然 Sure.
你還和其他人睡麼? Are you sleeping with anybody else?
恩 首先 這是個私人問題 Uh, first of all, that's a personal question.
恩 你和我睡了麼 所以我覺得我應該... Well, you're sleeping with me, so I thought I should...
你和我有協議的啊.不排外,不... You and I have an arrangement. No exclusivity, no...
但是有安全隱患啊 Fine, but there are safety concerns.
你能放心我每次的SEX都很安全 You can assume that any sex I am having is safe,
不止是我單獨和你 以及不是別人的那些 not that I'm having any of it separate and apart from you.
你還和這辦公室裡的其他人睡嗎? Are you sleeping with somebody else in this office?
- 我才不要跟你談這個 - Denise 我可不想被人當傻子耍 - I'm not having this conversation. - Denise, I will not be made a fool of.
你還和這辦公室其他人睡麼? Are you sleeping with somebody else in this office?
如果你不想再和我有關係了 沒問題 If you no longer want to sleep with me, that's fine.
我會想念的 但是我不會回答你這問題 I'll miss it, but I'm not answering these questions.
他可能會賴他沒幹過 但他在幕後支持 He may deny that he did it, but he's behind it.
他那小集團數年來一直騷擾我和我公司 His little group has been harassing me and my company for years,
現在他又僱傭我自己的女兒來打擊我 and now he's hired my own daughter to further aggravate me.
反對 我是免費同意來打擊你的 Objection. I agreed to aggravate you for free.
等下 我不同意人們在我的法庭裡上演家庭劇 Hold on. I don't allow people to play out family problems in my courtroom.
你到底想要我什麼? Just what is it you want from me?
我想要讓那男人和他那群 抗議者離我遠點的禁令. I want a restraining order keeping that man's flock of protesters away from me.
他們在我公司總部外面舉著標牌 They carry their placards outside my corporate headquarters.
他們說我們殺戮和虐待動物 They say that we kill and torture animals.
他們把進出我們大樓的 每個人幾乎都辱罵了 They verbally assault anybody going in or out of our building.
我生意都減少了 I'm losing business.
我客戶減少了 僱員減少了 I'm losing clients. I'm losing employees.
我是說 適而可止吧 I mean, enough is enough.
謝謝你 Bella. Thank you, Bella.
她歸你問了 我的小夥伴 She's all yours, my little friend.
事實是 你確實殺戮和 虐待動物 不是嗎? The truth is, you do kill and torture animals, do you not?
我們在動物身上實驗產品 是的 We test our products on animals, yes,
但是是為人類生命著想 but it is to save human lives.
哦 那你是個人道主義者了? Oh, you're a humanitarian?
暫停一下 Hold on just one second.
你是個侏儒? Are you a midget?
你是個弱智? Are you an imbecile?
- 恩 反對 - 反對有效 - Uh, objection. - Sustained.
你公司用兔子實驗麼? Your company uses rabbits?
和其他很多一樣都用 Like many do.
你把它們關籠子裡只讓 它們的頭伸出來 You lock them in stocks so just their heads stick out.
你夾開它們的眼瞼然後 把化妝品塞進它們眼睛 You clip their eyelids open and pour chemicals into their eyes,
然後讓它們兩個星期來 忍受造成的潰瘍 while they're left there for two weeks to experience ulceration,
出血和大量的虹膜剝落 bleeding and massive iris deterioration.
法官大人 兔子喜歡這麼著的 Your honor, the rabbits like it.
你不是抓這些動物來 體驗極端的痛苦麼? Do you not subject these animals to excruciating pain?
兔子 來自囓齒科家族 The rabbits, which are from the rodent family,
是會感受到有些不適 但是再一次 do experience some discomfiture, but once again,
這是為了拯救人們的痛苦 it is to save human suffering.
而人們的痛苦對你來說又是什麼 And what's human suffering to you,
你個厚臉皮的? going without blush?
- 反對 - 反對無效 - Objection. - Overruled.
- 反對 - 有效 - Objection. - Sustained.
有時候兔子為了掙脫 還扭斷了它們的脖子 Sometimes the rabbits break their own necks trying to escape.
你是說我當事人沒有 抗議這暴行的權利麼? You're saying that my client doesn't have the right to protest that?
你是說你所做的這一切很人道麼? You're saying you do all this to be humane?
恩 我猜人們能抗衡一切暴行 Well, I guess people can justify all types of bad behavior,
不是麼 Bella? can't they, Bella?
這越來越醜惡了 It's getting ugly.
Denny Crane式的醜惡 Denny Crane ugly.
那麼你從哪兒來的膽量敢和我約會? So what gave you the nerve to ask me out?
哦 我也不知道 Oh, I don't know.
不 你知道的 Yes, you do.
恩 看起來我們有很多地方很像 Well, it seemed we both have a lot in common.
比如說? Such as?
恩... Well...
我們都有種保護殼一樣的東西 we both kind of have shells.
我的是Clarice 或Oprah Mine's Clarice or Oprah.
你嘛 大概就是那種經常要保護 自己的老舊外表 Yours, you just have a regular old hard shell to protect yourself.
誰傷害了你? Who hurt you?
沒有人 Nobody.
我只是個厲害的紐約人 I'm just a tough New York broad.
誰傷害過你？ Who hurt you?
恩 要說起的話 我爸爸 Well, for starters, my father.
他虐待你了麼? He abused you?
不是性方面但是身體上有用打的 Not sexually but physically.
而你是我第一個傾訴的人 And you're the first person I've ever told that to,
除了其他我要付錢才會聽的人以外 outside of a few who charge by the hour to listen.
誰傷害過你? Who hurt you?
哦 我不記得了 Oh, I don't remember.
我媽說我在幼兒園被人嚇過 My mother says I was bullied in preschool.
我可能是自我堵塞了那段記憶 或者僅僅是不記得了 And I either blocked it out, or I just don't remember.
我卻記得我和一堆想像中 的朋友一起成長的 I do remember I grew up with a lot of imaginary friends.
我從未感到寂寞 但是和真人一起的話... I never felt lonely alone, but with people...
你現在還和誰有聯繫呢? Do you stay in touch?
你說什麼? I'm sorry?
和你那些想像中的朋友們 With your imaginary friends.
哦 恩 額 一些 Uh, well, uh, some.
我們有聚會的 We have reunions.
我是不是太怪了? Am I too weird?
你怪得剛剛好 You're just weird enough.
是Coho 不是麼? It's Coho, isn't it?
你再說一次? I beg your pardon?
你和Jeffrey Coho有性關係 You're having sex with Jeffrey Coho.
我性生活中的唯一和你有關的 The only part of my sex life
就是有你的那一部分 that is any of your business is the part that involves you.
告訴我是他就可以了 Just tell me if it's him.
Denise 一切可好? Denise, everything all right?
你看上去有點過度緊張啊 You look a little overextended.
我肯定你會有個很長很複雜的解釋 I'm sure there's a long, very complicated answer,
但是 你到底有什麼問題麼? but what is your problem?
你說的沒錯 You're right.
是有個... It's a...
很長很複雜的解釋 long, very complicated answer.
我過地很開心 他是個好男人 I had a wonderful time. He's a great guy.
對你來說是不說太溫柔了點? Isn't he a little tender for you?
我喜歡溫柔的 我不溫柔但並不表示... I like tender. Just 'cause I'm not doesn't mean...
嘿！你有空麼? Hey! You got a sec?
還好 I guess.
聽著 我知道我們不算朋友 Listen, I realize we're not exactly friends.
恩 我還希望我們在化裝舞會上 會有所進展 Yeah, I was hoping to make progress at the costume party.
恩 我們能進小隔間一會兒麼? Yeah, could you step into the closet?
什麼? Excuse me?
我想跟你私下說件事兒 I want to have a conversation with you in private.
就請進小隔間一會兒 Just step into the closet, please.
我還不知道你走出過隔間呢 Brad I didn't know you were out of the closet, Brad.
你和Denise有過親密關係麼? Are you and Denise having intimate relations?
你幹嗎問我這個? Why would you ask me that?
是不?/你呢？ Are you?
說實話 是的 As a matter of fact, I am.
請回答我的問題 Answer my question, please.
我不會回答你問題的 I will not answer your question.
你知道磷火墨是什麼麼 Jeff? Do you know what wildfire ink is, Jeff?
是在紫外線下能 找到證據的化學材料 Brad It's a chemical used to find certain evidence under ultraviolet light, Brad.
你學得不錯 You get a gold star.
如果和某種油一起混合會發光 It also lights up when it's mixed with certain types of oils,
那種油很難從手上揩掉 some of which are very difficult to get off your hands.
很厲害 Excellent.
如果我在乎的話那肯定是很有意思 I'm sure that would be very interesting if I cared.
我弄了點這種油在Denise手上 I rubbed some of those oils on Denise's hands.
你說什麼? Excuse me?
這是個手電式紫外線光筒 This is a portable ultraviolet light.
你有什麼要告訴我的麼 Jeff? Do you have anything you'd like to tell me, Jeff?
只想說你是個瘋子 Brad. Only that you're insane, Brad.
我準備在隔間裡把燈關了 I'm gonna turn off the light to the closet.
讓我們看看Denise的手 在你身上哪裡留了印記沒 Let's see if Denise's hands have been anywhere near you.
我把剛說的話收回 I take that back.
你肯定是個瘋子 You're really insane.
這真奇怪 This is awkward.
你不喜歡動物實驗? You don't like animal testing?
COTA反對任何形式的對動物的暴行... COTA is against animal cruelty of any kind...
你把人噴藍了? You paint people blue?
但是除了Bella沒人告過我們 But somebody else beat us to Bella.
你是在我當事人公司門口抗議的? The protest at my client's company?
是 我們 That was us.
你們對穿毛皮大衣的人撒血 You throw blood on people wearing furs.
恩 那個 額 其實是染料 不過也能說明我們的立場 Uh, it's, uh, dye, but point taken.
那些人穿的是人造毛皮 People wearing synthetic furs.
恩 他們主導潮流嘛 Well, they promote the fashion.
- 還有人吃肉 - 那是屠宰場 - People who eat meat. - Slaughterhouses.
- 皮革 - 動物的皮膚 - Leather. - An animal's hide.
- 羊毛 - 一回事 - Wool. - Same.
- 足球? - 豬豬的皮啊 - Football? - Skin of a pig.
- 癌症研究? - 哦 別說了! - Cancer research? - Oh, come on!
這個案子和癌症研究無關哪 This case doesn't involve cancer research.
她通過折磨兔子來 做出更好的睫毛膏 She tortures rabbits to make a better mascara.
這到底怎麼了這是? What the hell is going on here?
沒怎麼只是我們都愛上了同一個男人 What's going on is that we're both in love with the same man.
不是你 法官大人 It's not you, judge.
我沒愛上他 I am not in love with him.
安靜！ 我都糊塗了 Silence! I'm very confused.
你知道這案子 為什麼讓我心煩麼 Denny? You know what bothers me about this case, Denny?
你卡在一個母親和女兒中間了 That you've come between a mother and a daughter.
我知道啊 I know.
這是個終極夢想啊 It was always such a fantasy.
你有這個能力來解決的 你知道不 You've got the power to settle this, you know.
我不覺得哦 I don't think so.
如果我建議她現在撤消案件 Bella會告我不稱職 Bella would sue me for malpractice if I counseled her to drop the case now.
為什麼? Why?
因為我有甩掉Bella的意思了 Because I'm getting ready to drop Bella.
真的麼? 但是她是如此地甜心 Really? But she's so sweet.
我忘不了Bethany I can't shake Bethany.
也許是那個小小的翹臀 Maybe it's that tight little ass,
那些大胸部 那個普通大小的腦袋 those big breasts, normal-size head.
為什麼遇到腦袋大小正常的女人 男人就變得這麼笨了？ Why is it men become such fools over the normal-size head?
我準備好了放棄大的 爭取小的 I'm getting ready to drop the big one for the little one.
事情會很醜惡的 Shirley It's gonna get ugly, Shirley.
Denny Crane式的醜惡 Denny Crane ugly.
現在我倒有興趣了 Now I'm intrigued.
你有什麼解釋 So what's the answer?
當我還是個高二學生時 When I was a sophomore in high school,
我參加了我的第一次舞會 I attended my very first dance.
當時有一位女孩站在對面的舞台上 There was this girl standing across the dance floor
穿著一條黃色的裙子 wearing a yellow dress.
她是那樣的美麗 She was so beautiful.
我當時沒有勇氣邀她共舞 I didn't have the courage to ask her to dance,
也許是怕被拒絕後要走上 長長地在健身中心地板上拖沓的步子 perhaps for fear of the long, lonely walk back across the gym floor after being refused.
我最後說服了自己去邀請她 I finally willed myself to go ask,
但是瞬間她就如同泡沫般消失了 and then suddenly she was gone in a fleeting second.
她肯定是走了 She must have left.
我就開始想像她會是什麼樣子 I began to imagine what she must have been like.
她的笑容，當然還有她的吻 Her laugh, certainly her kiss.
我至今依然清晰的記得那是什麼感覺... I still know exactly what that feels like...
雖然我從未體驗到 Though I've never felt it.
她在我的印象裡已經29年了 She's been a figment for 29 years,
而用她這麼個印象做標準的話 an imagined standard by which
其他所有的女人都顯得微不足道了 all other women seem to have fallen terribly short.
她們又怎麼不會微不足道呢 我是如此看中這個女孩 How could they not after I've individualized her
一個有著我所渴求的 所有好品質的女孩？ with every quality I so long for?
我再也沒有遇到過這個女孩穿黃裙子 I've never met the girl in the yellow dress.
看到你 我想 這真是 Seeing you, I guess, it just.
我現在，在化裝舞會前 就顯露些個人本色了 Here I am, revealing a little of myself even before the costume party.
你怎麼敢這樣? 在我身上抹化學藥品？ How dare you? Rubbing me with chemicals?
當我選擇餐館的時候 我喜歡弄清楚還有誰在那裡吃 When I choose a restaurant, I like to know who else eats there.
哇! Whoo!
贏得男人心的好辦法 Way to a man's heart.
有試過把他的腎打偏麼? You ever try blindsiding him in the kidneys?
Bella 我們應該要上庭了 Bella, we're supposed to be in court.
Denny都已經走了 Denny's already left.
是的 我是想專門抓下你說幾句 Yes, I was hoping to grab you for a second.
抓脖子? By the throat?
不要 太多死皮 Ick. Too much dead tissue.
你想說什麼 Bella? What do you want, Bella?
也許你知道我不喜歡你 I think you probably know I don't like you.
是有這麼些小表現 There have been signs.
恩 原因是我一直都知道 Denny有多愛你 Well, the reason is because I've always known how much Denny loved you.
他從未那樣愛過我 He never loved me that way,
但是我現在看來有進步了 but I seem to be making progress.
不管怎樣... Anyway...
Denny把你看成是... Denny holds you in a light that...
恩 Shirley這 這其實很簡單 well, Shirley, it's, it's this simple.
Denny仍然要你的批准 Denny still seeks your approval.
如果你能批准我的話 I would be forever grateful if
我會永遠感激你的 you would approve of me.
我愛他 Shirley I love him, Shirley,
勝過一切 more than anything.
你肯定跟我開玩笑吧 You have got to be kidding me.
對不起 Simms小姐 I'm sorry, Ms. Simms,
但是紐約YANKEE隊的聲譽 不容被這樣糟蹋 but the New York Yankees take pride in being very humorless.
當然我這麼說是非正式的 I say that off the record, of course.
我只是不能讓你在沒有 批准的情況下使用他們的標誌 I simply cannot allow you to display their logo without approval,
要這樣的話我要一份手寫的申請 for which I'll need a written request.
發生什麼事啦? What's going on?
這位小花生不知怎麼發現... This little peanut somehow found out...
我的名字叫Prig（還有一本 正經的意思）先生 My name is Mr. Prig.
這位Prig 先生不知道怎麼發現我要 穿YANKEEE的隊服來化裝晚會 This Mr. Prig somehow found out that I got a Yankees costume for our party.
他恐嚇我不讓我那麼穿 He's threatening to enjoin me from wearing it.
我們對這非常重視 We take ourselves very seriously.
如果我真穿了呢? What if I do wear it?
恩 如果你已經被告知 Well, now that you have notice,
我們將會申明我們要求 懲罰性賠償的要求 we could avail ourselves of punitive damages,
而我是個很講法的正經人 and I'm a very punitive little prig.
你看你看 你個小土地老兒 Look here, you little gnome,
你應該忙你該忙的東西去 you need to busy yourself with something important,
比如買幾個自由職業隊員的彩票啊 like buying up the best players on the free agent market,
這樣你就能拿頭獎啦 so you can win championships,
移開你那喜歡管閒事的小屁股 keep your pompous asses all buffed,
讓你的FANS自我感覺良好去吧 allow your fans to feel good about themselves,
就算很多是大文盲 而且上照都像嫌疑犯！ even though most of them can't spell and have mug shots!
我不是跟你說過 不讓Clarice在這出現的麼? What did I say about Clarice coming in here?
對不起 他想維護你的時候 她就出現了 Sorry, he seemed to be picking on you, and she just took over.
我不想讓她來幫忙 I don't want her to take over,
作為你的上司， 尤其作為你女朋友來講 as your boss and especially as your girlfriend.
什麼? What?
你... Are you...
你是我女朋友? are you my girlfriend?
恩... Um...
我的當事人並沒有去抗議 一個嘗試治癒AIDS的醫生 My client isn't protesting against a doctor trying to cure AIDS here.
他並非抗議一個為了 家庭生活而打獵的獵人 He isn't singling out a hunter trying to provide food for his family.
他抗議的是一個上十億的化妝品公司 He's going after a billion-dollar cosmetics company
以做化妝品為名折磨兔子的公司 that tortures rabbits in the name of makeup.
有那麼多種其他的測試方法 There are all kinds of alternative testing methods
還有幾千種可以安全使用的配料 and thousands of ingredients that can be safely used
可以做出不讓動物受傷害的 一樣的產品 to make the same products without hurting animals.
露華濃是這麼做的 還有雅芳 倩碧 Revlon does it. Avon, Clinique,
但是偉大的Bella不這麼做 but not big Bella.
她只是不在乎罷了 She just doesn't care.
法官大人 我們都想作為 有同情心的人活在世界上 We try to pass ourselves off as a compassionate people, your honor.
我們更看中仁慈 We prioritize kindness
作為我們孩子必須要 具備的重要價值觀之一 as one of the most important values to instill in our children.
還有一個是正直 Integrity is another.
其中有以個人虛榮為名 來讓動物受苦的價值觀麼? Where is either in making animals suffer in the name of our personal vanity?
有些時候 人們要覺醒 At some point, people have to stand up
然後站起來說「這麼做是不對的」 and say, "this is wrong."
這位男人和他的組織 每天都站起來這麼說 That man and his coalition stand up every day.
我的天 My God.
問題不應該總是「我們想賺多少錢？」 The question can't always be, "how much money do we want to make?"
而應該是「我們想成為什麼樣的人」 It should be, "who do we want to be?"
法官大人 我們是風趣的人 We're a funny people, your honor.
我們在動物方面都有一些 感覺很好的電影 We have all these feel-good movies about animals,
不管是《老犬吠吠》還是拯救鯨魚 whether it be "Old Yeller" or saving the whales
或是拯救企鵝的遊行等等 or penguins marching off to wherever they march to.
我必須承認 我可沒靠那個能拿獎 I must admit, I didn't get my academy screener on that one.
而每個五月 我們都啜口薄荷朱利酒 And every May, we drink mint juleps
然後穿上好衣服戴著傻帽子 and dress up in fancy cloth and wear silly hats
在肯德基州大地上讓純種馬 像貴族似的漫遊 as Thoroughbred are led out like royalty for the Kentucky derby.
我的天 我們如此敬重它們 My God, we treat them with such reverence.
更別提那純種的兩歲大的小馬 Never mind that a 2-year-old Thoroughbred's bones
它們的背部骨頭都還沒 發育好不能受重擊 aren't fully developed enough to withstand such a pounding,
而且在他們不比賽後 我們也不好怎麼說 and we certainly don't talk about how, after they stop competing,
很多賽馬都被屠殺了 many racehorses are slaughtered.
她殺了馬嗎? Does she kill horses?
沒有 她沒有 法官大人 No, she doesn't, judge.
那麼你想說什麼呢? Then what's your point?
我想說 就算我們宣揚我們有多愛動物 My point is, despite our proclaimed love of animals,
它們的存在也實際上 是為了我們娛樂 我們消遣 they really exist for our amusement, our pleasure,
不管是關在公園籠子裡的那些 whether it be the caged ones in zoos,
還是在我們盤子裡做美味佳餚的那些 the cooked ones on our plate,
我們把他們弄病這樣我們就不會了 the ones we make sick so we don't have to be.
Horowitz小姐覺得我們應當把界線弄清楚 Miss Horowitz thinks that we should draw the line somewhere.
我認可 但是虛榮方面呢? I agree, but at vanity?
這裡是美國美麗之國 This is America the beautiful,
大胸部，美麗臉蛋，頭髮移種 land of the breast, cheek and hair implants,
一個我們能把腸子裡油脂用 手術能吸出來的地方 where we surgically suck fat from our guts,
能切開我們的臉蛋把它往兩邊 拉伸得完美起來 cut open our faces and stretch them halfway up to our crowns,
用膠原質來鼓嘴唇 inject our lips with collagen.
在假日裡 我們發放去痘激光的免費券 During the holidays, we give gift certificates for laser peels.
能看出來你也有 I can see you've had yours.
而化妝品... And makeup...
天堂的上帝啊 化妝品把我們裝扮得多好啊 dear God in heaven, makeup is how we pull it off.
沒有了它 我的當事人看上去 就會像Jerry Lewis Without it, my client would look like Jerry Lewis.
我仍不知道你到底在亂說些什麼 I still don't know what the hell you're talking about.
我只是說我們 I'm simply saying that we,
作為人 作為一個民族 有愛美之心 as a people, as a nation, like to feel pretty.
這才是我們的實在 It's who we are.
如果這樣意味著一些小兔子得犧牲 And if it means a few young rabbits have to sacrifice their lives,
恩 它們和它們的家族也值了 well, they and their families can take heart,
因為它們的生命獻給了國家 because they did so for their country.
因為你仔細想想 because when you think about it,
我們現在真正想做的也就是挽回面子 all we can really hope for at this point is to save face.
這樣幫到了麼？ Did that help?
她有意這麼說的 She tanked it on purpose.
我不是有意的 I did not tank it.
那個演說是針對我的 That speech was against me.
你為什麼不告訴我她是個共產主義者? Why didn't you tell me she was a communist?
我以為你知道呢 I thought you knew.
Alan 今晚來舞會不? Alan, coming to the party tonight?
你知道我多期待這個穿新外衣的機會 You know how I relish the chance to try out a new frock.
有個流言說你要打扮成我的樣子 There's a rumor you'll be in mine.
恩 我想這麼做的 Hmm, I would love that.
8號衣服? Size 8?
Alan 你今晚不行打扮成我 Alan, you will not dress up as me tonight.
Shirley 我們被告知要打扮成為 我們所景仰的人 Shirley, we've been instructed to choose somebody we admire.
這樣就只剩下你和警犬了 That leaves you and dog the bounty hunter.
你不能打扮成我的樣子 You will not dress up as me.
Alan 你得幫我甩掉Bella Alan, you've got to help me dump Bella.
我不擅長和女人分手 I'm not good when it comes to breaking up with women.
我太柔弱了 I'm too soft.
Denny 你都敢開槍射人的 Denny, you shoot people.
我也考慮過那樣 I thought of that,
但是那樣會違法 不過在Florida不會哦 but it would be illegal, except in Florida.
你得親自去把她甩了 不好意思 You're going to have to dump her yourself. I'm sorry.
Alan 至少你要幫我 贏回Bethany的芳心啊 Alan, at least help me win back Bethany.
我並不是想讓你難堪 I didn't mean to embarrass you.
我只是真心想知道 I just really needed to know.
為什麼? Why?
因為... Because...
有那麼多人 為什麼偏偏是他? of all people, why him?
事實上 他是個正人君子 Brad. Actually, he's a pretty decent guy, Brad.
Denise 我覺得我還不夠摩登 來做這個「有好處的夥伴」 Denise, I don't think I'm modern enough to handle this "friends with benefits" thing.
所以我想我只能求你放棄這個安排了 So I think I'm just going to have to beg out of this arrangement.
可以麼? Okay?
好吧 Okay.
首先，我就事論事 First of all, I will say for the record,
我完全不相信那些 保濕 去皺 不老泉那些胡說八道 I don't believe in all that moisturizer, botox, fountain-of-youth poppycock.
哦 得了吧 法官大人 Oh, please, judge.
要不在您100歲的時候 還想是個什麼樣子? How else could you look like you do at 100?
恩 我下令Steinkellner先生和他那協會 Uh, I am ordering Mr. Steinkellner and his coalition
必須離Horowitz小姐至少100尺遠 就這正常距離 to stay at least 100 feet away from Ms. Horowitz, the regular-sized one.
就他們抗議她這行當的地點嘛 As for protesting at her place of business,
如果是公共地點 當然可以 if it's a public area, he may do so.
這仍是個適度的自由國家 This is still a moderately free country.
休庭 Adjourned.
我可不高興 I am not happy.
恩 他們不能再把你噴藍啦 Bella Well, they won't be able to paint you blue, Bella.
恩 我有 我有些事要說 Uh, I've, I've got something to say.
怎麼了? What's going on?
恩 恩 你以前說過 Uh, uh, you once said that
如果我和Bethany沒完的話 你不會 恩 希望... if it wasn't over for Bethany and me, you wouldn't, uh, want...
Bethany對我來說還未結束 Bethany isn't over for me,
在我心裡 not in my heart.
Denny 她... 她恨死你了啊 Denny, she... she hates your guts.
恩 但事實是 我不恨她 Yeah, but the thing is, I don't hate hers.
哦 Oh.
這樣... Well...
如果 恩 如果你心裡 有我女兒 那麼 恩 if, uh, my daughter's in your heart, it's, uh,
我當媽的就不該... not a mother's place to...
哦 真對不起 Bella Oh, I'm sorry, Bella.
我知道你也許不相信但是 I know you won't believe this but,
我確實把她的快樂看得比 我自己的更重要 I actually do place her happiness above my own.
我希望你倆什麼都好 I wish you both the best.
請別傷害到她 Denny Please don't hurt her, Denny.
我都不需要槍斃了她 I didn't have to shoot her.
那麼你贏了? So you won?
仍然百戰百勝 Still undefeated.
而Bella呢? And Bella?
她就像她內心的堅強男人那樣接受了 She took it like the man she is.
但是現在是難的地方了 But now comes the tough part.
Denny 找什麼借口讓Bethany過來? Denny, under what pretext is Bethany coming in?
哦 我告訴她有個避免上訴的調解 Oh, I told her I had a settlement offer in lieu of an appeal.
我真的覺得你自己可以應付得來這些 I really think you're capable of handling this yourself.
就說出你心裡想的 Just speak from your heart.
這只是好久我都沒這麼做了 It's just that it's been so long since I've done that.
你出的條件是什麼? What's the offer?
Bethany... Bethany...
這和解決這案子其實沒多大關係 this is not so much about settling the case
主要是解決你和我的關係 as it is settling you and me.
你說什麼呢? What are you talking about?
我甩了你媽媽 I dumped your mother.
你甩了Bella? You dumped Bella?
因為我忘不了你 'Cause I can't get over you.
理由太少 時間太晚 Too little, too late.
Bethany... Bethany...
我們都會犯錯 We all make mistakes.
太多時候 人們被這些錯誤所衡量 Too often, people are judged by those mistakes.
我覺得一個男人的真實價值在... I think the true measure of a man lies...
他糾正錯誤的心意中 lies in his willingness to right his wrongs.
我愛你 Bethany I love you, Bethany.
那麼今晚的晚會你會和我一起參加麼? So will you join me at a party tonight?
化裝晚會 你會很開心的 Costumes. You'll have fun.
而且你能假裝你仍喜歡我 And you can pretend that you still like me.
Shirley... Shirley...
你贏了 you won.
我 恩 有點驚訝 說實話 I'm, uh, surprised, to be honest.
恩 兔子是囓齒家族的一部分 Well, rabbits are part of the rodent family.
你想學誰 Phyllis Diller? Who are you supposed to be, Phyllis Diller?
我可是Albert Einstein. I'm Albert Einstein.
你是誰? Who are you?
Diane Sawyer Diane Sawyer.
你在等Bill O'Reilly? You were expecting Bill O'Reilly?
Paul一開始我還覺得這主意很爛 Paul, at first I thought this was a stupid idea,
但是我現在覺得真是太絕啦 but I've got to tip my hat to you.
Jennifer Aniston? Jennifer Aniston?
是啊 這不明擺著麼? Hello. Isn't it obvious?
恩 這個道具倒是個線索 Well, the prop was a giveaway.
啊 啊 啊 啊 啊 Well, well, well, well, well.
哦 我的天 Oh, my God.
Denny 你應該打扮成你景仰的人 Denny, it's supposed to be someone you admire.
任何一個敢往他朋友臉上炸的人 Anybody who can blast his friend in the face
然後讓他響起來就是我的良好市民啦 and get him to take the rap for it is my kind of citizen.
哦 去死 Oh, damn thing.
恩 Denny 有個謠言哦 Uh, Denny, there, there's a rumor
就是你今晚要和舊愛一起出現 that you're gonna be showing up with an old flame tonight.
是啊 I did.
Danny Devito 對不? Danny Devito, right?
你對這不服麼? You got a problem with that?
為了無限和至上! To infinity and beyond!
Dick Cheney 巴斯光年 都是超級英雄 Dick Cheney, Buzz lightyear, all the superheroes.
確實是 Indeed.
我得說啊 Shirley I must say, Shirley,
穿進Lennon姐妹的裙子是個激動時刻 being in the Lennon Sisters' dress was a thrill, 僳啦撈 老菌瘤父
但現在，這是高潮啊 but this, this is the pinnacle.
我很清楚地告訴過你別穿成我的樣子 I expressly asked you not to dress up as me.
所以我就穿成那娃娃的樣子啊 Which is why I dressed as the doll.
為了無限和... To infinity and...
運動男孩 把你那服裝脫下 Take off that costume, sport.
你脫你的 You take yours off.
我是這裡的巴斯光年 不信你問人家 I'm Buzz lightyear here. Ask anybody.
我一直都是巴斯 I've always been Buzz.
把它脫了 Take it off.
- 嘿! - 我受夠了他! - Hey! - I've had enough of him!
現在你們倆可別壞了晚會 Now you two are not gonna ruin this party.
要打出去打 你們倆都是 Take it outside, both of you.
- 跟你後面 - 好的 - After you. - Okay.
過來 出去打! Come on, outside!
現在去 Go on now.
能跟我跳個舞麼 孩子? Care to dance with me, child?
哦 不是真的 Oh, no.
怎麼? What?
誰不景仰Oprah呢? Who doesn't admire Oprah?
也許我該扮做Tom Cruise Maybe I should have come as Tom Cruise.
我們可以回家在你沙發上跳哦 We can go home and jump on your couch.
甜心 我第一次不買帳哦 I didn't buy that the first time, honey.
我們跳舞麼? We dancing?
我要和Clarence跳 I'll dance with Clarence.
他就在這裡啊 He's in here.
緊緊抱住我的話 你能感覺到他的 Hold me tight enough, you'll feel him.
哇 開始吧 Wow. Let's go.
好主意啊 Paul. Good idea, Paul.
大家看上去都很喜慶 People seem to be very festive.
恩 謝謝你 Alan Well, thank you, Alan.
做Shirley是什麼感覺? What's it like being Shirley?
那丁字褲有點不舒服 The thong is a little uncomfortable.
現在別做主導方哦 Don't be leading now.
這一直都是Oprah的秀哦 甜心 It's always Oprah's show, honey.
對不起 Sorry.
Clarence... Clarence...
就一會兒別做Oprah好麼? no Oprah for a second, okay?
求你 Please.
好 Okay.
我真的很喜歡你 I really like you.
我也喜歡你 I like you, too.
那麼對Bethany來說肯定了? 她歸位了? So it's a yes with Bethany? She's back?
她還在考慮 She's still mixed.
但是... But...
恩 她整晚都很溫柔麼? Well, was she at all tender tonight?
那可是從Danny Devito身上得不到的 About what you'd expect from Danny Devito.
單憑經驗哦 Alan Rule of thumb, Alan.
打開一個女人的心門 並不是通過她們媽媽的私心 The way to a woman's heart is not through her mother's privates.
我會把那記下來的 I'll write that down.
不管怎樣 恩... Anyway, um...
Bethany今晚已經走了 Bethany is gone for the night.
你可不能進這衣服裡 You're not getting in this outfit.
我們可以到一個靜靜的地方喝幾杯 We could go for a quiet drink somewhere.
我們就在這裡靜靜地喝 We're having a quiet drink right here.
我完全把你弄瘋了 不是? I'm driving you absolutely crazy, aren't I?
如果你知道你看起來是多麼的... If you had any idea how you look...
Shirley是唯一的 Alan Shirley was the one, Alan.
一天晚上 正好發生關係中 One night, while making love,
她向我背誦了Proust she recited Proust to me.
- 你明白了麼? - 完全不 - Did you understand it? - Not a word.
我覺得她是著魔了 I thought she was possessed.
- 你不是巴斯！ - 我一直都是巴斯！ - You're not Buzz! - I've always been buzz!
看看那兩個 Look at those two.
我才是巴斯! I'm Buzz!
愛我們也好 恨我們也好 哪裡也沒有我們這裡好 Love us or hate us, there's no other place like us.
就為這個敬一杯 Here's to that.
忘了吧 Forget it.
就跳支舞吧 Just one dance.
就讓我在跳著華爾茲穿過記憶的小巷 Let me waltz down memory lane.
如果你不提了就跳一支 One dance if you'll drop it.
好的 Fine.
而且你最好尊重我點 And you'd better respect me.
我真的讓你想起Shirley了麼? Do I really remind you of Shirley?
除了某些隆起的地方不太對 Except some of the lumps are in the wrong place.
你說的是你的隆起的地方不對罷了 The lump you refer to is your own.
想想人們透過他們窗戶 Imagine people looking out their window
看著Dick Cheney和Shirley Schmidt 在陽台上共舞 seeing Dick Cheney and Shirley Schmidt dancing on the balcony.
他們肯定會想些什麼? What must they be thinking?
恩 如果他們經常看 他們 現在也知道 發生了什麼 Well, if they're regular viewers, they know by now, anything goes.
是的 是這樣 Yes, it does.
你這是借用的? Is that a rental?
閉嘴! 我先借的 Shut up! I rented first.
你看上去像個笨蛋! You look like an idiot!
把它脫了! Take it off!