今天 我们的探索频道 Today, on the Uncovery Channel,
将要讨论陆地上跑得最快的动物 we'll talk about the fastest land animal in the world.
非洲猎豹的速度简直惊呆小伙伴 Possessed of incredible speed,
地上跑的都逃不出它手掌心 the cheetah can outrun almost anything alive.
小佛 我知道今天要干什么了 Ferb, I know what we're gonna do today!
我们来做一双五速鞋 穿上以后能跑的和猎豹一样快 We're gonna build fast shoes, so we can run like a cheetah!
我可不管你们这帮小屁孩 And I don't care.
老娘今天要和杰雷米全家去公园野餐 Because today, I'm going to Jeremy's family picnic in the park.
我要和我亲爱的还有他家人共度美好的一天 I will be spending the whole day with my boyfriend and his extended family.
他们一定会喜欢我的 因为今天 我可是有备而来 And they are all going to love me, because today, I am Composed Candace.
充满自信 冷艳高贵 心情放松 Confident, cool, and relaxed.
凯蒂丝 Candace...
啊啊啊 别老是对我评头论足 AAAAAH! Stop judging me!!
准备好去图书馆了吗 Ready to head to the library?
啥 Huh?
你不是参加了儿童读书会的志愿活动吗 You volunteered to read to the kids' book club today,
我还要去改写一本厨艺书 while I help reorganize cookbooks.
哦 我把这事忘得一干二净 Oh, I forgot all about all about that!
-这可不像我 我居然忘记了一个承诺 -喂 That's so unlike me! I forget a promise! Hello?
凯蒂丝 马上就要开始了 Candace! We're about to go on!
你在哪里 凯蒂丝 凯蒂丝 你在听吗 Where are you?! Candace? Candace?! Are you there?!
呵呵 打错了 Heh-heh. Wrong number.
再过一刻钟我们就出发 We're leaving in fifteen.
啊 是的 我一定去 Heh. Yeah. I've got nothing better to do.
杰雷米那边怎么办 What about that Jeremy thing?
你们快帮我想个借口啥的吧 Don't you have a catchphrase to say or something?
她在说啥 话说回来 你看到泰瑞了没有 反正我是没看见 What is she talking about? Hey, have you seen Perry around? 'Cause I haven't.
早上好啊 鸭嘴兽泰瑞 Good morning, Agent P.
有一件事要引起注意 It's come to our attention that
杜芬舒斯博士赖掉了一部分按揭贷款 Dr. Doofenshmirtz has missed a few of his mortgage payments.
我们怀疑他把钱用来进行某些邪恶事业 He must be funneling all that money into something really evil,
另外 他还向前妻要求贷款 otherwise, he'd ask his ex-wife for a loan.
她自然答应了 She's loaded you know. Ka-ching!
所以到他身边去 看看到底发生了什么 So get over there and find out what's going on.
猎豹的身体天生用来跑出高速 A cheetah's body is built to run at amazing speeds.
小心解析我们身体的跑动原理 By carefully analyzing our own bodies' running mechanics,
我们就可以设计出我们自己的五速鞋了 we can now design and build our very own super shoes.
基于某些神秘的反射原理 Based on the pseudoscience of reflexology,
它将会按压我们脚底的某些穴位 these shoes will trigger pressure points in our feet,
让我们的速度以指数增长 making us exponentially faster.
我同时在两处有约 如果算上史黛西的话那就是三处 I'm double-booked! If you count Stacy,
我这该死的性子啊 I'm triple-booked! Oh, darn my endlessly giving nature!
哇哦 Woohoo!
哇啊 Wha?
欧耶 你-好-啊 凯-蒂-丝 Yeah! Hiiiiiii, Candaaaace!
嘿 小佛 如果穿上我们的五速鞋 You know, Ferb, with these super shoes on,
我们就能够分身两处 we can almost be in two places at one time.
让我们看看这双鞋的极限吧 Let's go see what these babies can really do.
同时分身两处 Two places at once?
凯蒂丝 准备好去图书馆了吗 Candace, ready to head to the library?
嗯 没问题 妈妈 我要走着过去 Uh, that's okay, Mom, I think I'll walk.
好的 我们在图书馆见 Okay. See ya there.
说是走过去 其实用 跑 更加恰当呢 Or maybe I'll run.
尝尝刚烤出来的巧克力曲奇吧 Chocolate chip cookie? They're freshly baked.
快提出你的报价 我们不想耽搁太久 Get your bids in soon. We don't expect this place to last long.
这地板是原木的吗 Ooh, are those floors original?
我不就是没还贷款吗 你们竟然要卖了我的房子 So just because I miss a few payments, you're selling my building?
这时候我上哪儿弄钱去 And where am I supposed to get that much money on such short notice?
我很抱歉 杜芬……施密特先生 这是你的贷款条件 I'm sorry, Mr. Doofschmidt, those are the terms of your loan.
我的名字是杜芬舒斯 就像 就像杜芬舒斯 The name is Doofenshmirtz! Like, like in Doofenshmirtz!
又是谁 哦 是你啊 鸭嘴兽泰瑞 Now what? Oh, it's you. I'm sorry, Perry the Platypus,
恐怕我现在没空招待你 I'm going to have to take a rain check.
你也看到了 我现在有点 嗯 小小的经济危机 You see, I'm having a bit of a financial crisis
我恐怕今天是没法继续我的邪恶计划了 and I'm afraid I won't have time for our evil scheme today.
说起来 下次我们可能就要在纸板箱里面战斗了 Yep. Next time we fight, it could be in a cardboard box,
因为他们要把我从家里赶出去 'cause that's where I'll be living.
你没看到我在想办法吗 Can't you see I'm trying to wallow?
什么 什么 哦 那是我老婆的照片 What? That? Oh, it's a nice picture of Charlene, isn't it?
但是这玩意恐怕卖不上价钱 But I don't think I could get much cash for it.
我是说 谁想要一张照片呢 I mean, who wants a picture...
哦 你说打电话找她要钱 Oh, you mean call her and ask for money?
这可不成 你知道她会说什么 Never! Y'know what she'll say if I call?
她一定会说 哈哈 我早跟你说过 你知道为啥么 She'll say, "I told you so!" And you know why?
因为她的确是这么跟我说的 她说 亲爱的 别买石像鬼 Because she told me so! She said, "Don't get the gargoyles, Heinz!"
但是她怎么知道的 But what does she know?
石像鬼是很好的投资 Gargoyles are a good investment.
用石像鬼来命名一个便宜的房子 Name a cheap building with gargoyles.
我才不会向她要钱 No way am I asking her for money!
我 我 我 总之是不会卖这座房子的 I—I—I'll just, uh, make this place unsellable!
无论如何我都要呆在这儿 Then they'll to let me stay here no matter broke I am!
Psst! Indian burial ground. True story.
Wow! These things are great!
Much better than those completely unstable prototypes we made earlier.
What a ripoff! These things are—AAAAAAAAAAH!!!
Well, my daughter was supposed to...
Oh! Kids, this is Candace. Good luck. I'm off to file some cookbooks.
Alright, today's book is . Heh! I'm a little fidgety. Yes?
Why is your neck so long?
Good question. You get to be today's first reader.
I'll be right back. Go on, you'll do great.
Brab farbu gulla brobbidy Lingonberry.
There it is! Oh, please stop!
Woah! Heh-heh! Hey, Candace, you came out of nowhere.
Yeah! Uh, I did!
Well, I'm glad you could make it.
Me, too.
Uh. Yeah. Why don't I introduce you around? You know my folks.
Hey, there, darlin'!
Nice to see ya!
And, of course, you know Suzy.
Candace.
And I bet you remember the birthday girl.
Of course. Grandma Hilda, from the—
I never liked you.
Hey, guys, those potato sacks aren't gonna race themselves!
Let's get the lead out, kiddies!
My gosh! The kids! I'm gonna get you a lemonade refill.
I'll catch up with you in a bit, okay?
Okay, but hurry. The games are the best part of the picnic.
It's working!
Falooby blib dingo traloopoo-bul.
Good.
Everything okay, Candace?
Y'know, you really shouldn't have drinks in the library.
Yeah. It's all this reading. It makes my throat dry.
Oh, that's sweet. I think I'll watch for a while.
Oh, you don't have to.
"Smorky knew that it was wrong to steal the pie, but it looked so delicious.
He knew his friend had worked hard to make the pie and bake the pie.
How would Smorky's friend feel when he saw the pie was gone?
He would feel sad. He would feel bad. He might even feel mad.
But Smorky was so hungry. What could Smorky do?
What should Smorky do? What would Smorky do?"
I have to go to the bathroom.
Yes! Mom, take her!
I think this may be the place we've been looking for!
I mean, high ceilings, open floor plan, purple green? We won't even have to repaint!
Oh, I-I-I am not calling Charlene!
Go!
Sonic boom! Check sound off the list.
She knocked over the Annabelle shrine.
How rude!
Candace!
Who's Annabelle?
She sort of wandered off about 20 years ago. We don't really talk about it much.
Annabelle!
Wheelbarrows at the ready!
Are you sure you wouldn't rather be the legs?
You'd be surprised how strong my arms are. Don't hold back.
I don't think I can.
Hey, we won.
You might want to visit the washroom, honey.
You've got a little something right there.
The washroom!
And where it goes when you flush.
What an active imagination you have, sweetie!
Well, I think I'll leave these adorable little ragamuffins in your capable hands, Candace.
I'm afraid I have to be elsewhere.
Me, too.
* Run, Candace, run *
* Faster, faster *
* Run, Candace, run *
* Faster, faster *
* Run, Candace, run *
* Faster, faster *
* Come on girl gotta move gotta run *
* Gotta feel the road burning *
* From the heat of the sun *
* On your feet as you flow *
* Through the streets down the hills *
* Passing dogs passing cars *
* Passing old rock stars *
* You can feel all the power *
* Of the earth as you ride *
* As it pulls as it pushes *
* Up and down side to side *
* You can show they can see *
* There's the proof on your feet *
* You're a blur in the air *
* You've got style you've got flair *
* Run, Candace, run *
* Faster, faster! *
* You're light on your feet *
* You're almost home free *
* Nothing can stop you *
* Look out for that tree *
Okay, Ferb. Fire it up! Sorry, Ferb. The light's just too darn fast.
Oh, honey, look at this. It's like 1973 in here.
My favorite year! Ha ha! Where did they ever find such rare furnishings?
Oh, no no, it's all fake. It's made out of cardboard.
Cardboard? How wonderfully impermanent!
Wa-wa-wa-wait! What about the neighbors?
They're really crazy. Look, I live next door and I've got pants on my head!
And, uh, I'm Italian. See?
With neighbors like that, our lives will always be interesting!
I can't think of anything that would make this place more attractive.
Nulla, per favore.
I stand corrected! Gargoyles! This is it! This is the place! We'll take it!
I'll draw up the papers.
Never!
Can't stop! Can't stop!
* Come on girl gotta move gotta run *
* Gotta feel the road burning *
* From the heat of the sun *
* On your feet as you flow *
* Through the streets down the hills *
* Passing dogs passing cars *
* Passing old rock stars *
* You can feel all the power *
* Of the earth as you ride *
* As it pulls as it pushes *
* Up and down side to side *
Well, I'm hoping for a short escr—Woah!
We're gonna check out some other neighborhoods.
Front and center, people!
Now before we pass out the awards for the games,
let's remember the reason we're here:
Grandma Hilda's (who would've guessed she'd live this long) 85th birthday!
Now, let's have a moment of silence to reflect on all she's meant to us.
* Run, Candace, run *
* (Run, Candace, run) *
* Faster, faster! *
Can I get down now?
That voice. Can it be? The Johnson eyes.
The Johnson nose. Is it possible?
She's got the birthmark! It's little Annabelle!
Nana? Uncle Jack! It's all coming back to me! You were right.
I never should have taken that job hanging anvils.
Candace, you've made our family whole again. Be good to her, Jeremy.
This one's a keeper.
* I get to stay forever! *
You know it's a shame we didn't make that sale.
Now the bank will have no choice but to tear this place down
and build a greeting card factory.
But- Don't gloat, Perry the Platypus. It's not becoming.
Hello, Charlene? Yeah, you told me so.
Wow Phineas, it's really beautiful up here!
Yes! It was very kind of you to invite us to your grandparents' house.
No fair! That almost hit me!
Life's not fair. Earlier today I just missed hitting this kid with a basketball.
Hey, Candace. What are you up to today?
Well, I'll probably try to bust you guys... again!
And fail... again! And add another link to my summer-long chain of disappointment and regrets.
How about that, Ferb, Candace already knows what she's gonna do today!
Soo... how's the antique business?
Ooh, it's just fine. You know, they have a saying in the antique business.
What is it?
What is what?
The saying. That you use in the antique business.
Oh, I don't use it. But there is one.
Hi, dad! Hi, grandpa! We're not interrupting, are we?
No, no! No, come in, boys.
Ferb and I were just talking about the time you build the balloon
and won the most famous balloon race in history. Tell us that story again?
Well, I went out to the barn, I built a balloon
and I won the most famous balloon race in history.
Wow!
He makes history come alive.
Come on, Ferb, I know what we're gonna do today.
If you need us, we'll be out in the barn!
Cool! Just look at all this great stuff. Hey, where's Perry?
Good morning, Agent P!
After extensive research and computer data analysis
we have concluded that the Tri-State Area
is experiencing an unprecedented shortage of eggs.
We need you to investigate. Good luck, Agent P.
You there! Weren't you listening? Go make some eggs!
Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa, stop!
You might wanna use the sugar unless you want salty lemonade!
Oh, I can't wait to get new contacts. I'm as blind as a bat without them.
Here, use my spare set of glasses.
Wow, now everything is different kind of blurry.
Hi, stranger. Come on in. Everyone, you remember Glenda?
Of course!
Candace, Glenda was the first female train conductor in the entire Tri-State Area!
But alas, the train is being decommissioned. And today is Glenda's last trip.
And you know what? I'm gonna take her up to Gearheart Summit.
But nobody has ever taken a train up Gearheart Summit, it's too steep!
Well, that's what they say, but I'm not the one to give up!
It's just like you became a conductor.
That's right. They told me to give up! But I never give up!
I'm not the kind of person to give up!
Well, I'm gonna prove that an old train can make it up those tracks.
You guys wanna come with me?
We should all go.
Sounds like fun!
Okay! Train leaves the station at ten sharp! See you there!
Isn't she something, Candace? That's a woman who would never give up!
Give up! Blah blah! Give up! Blah blah blah blah blah! Give up! Blah blah blah! Give up!
It's so simple! I don't know how I didn't think about it before!
I'll give up!
* It's not bad to have goals per se *
* When your teacher, coach, and counselor ask *
* Cold hard reality can get in your way *
* When you're really not up to the task *
* Well you've been scheming and spying and screaming and crying *
* But you know there's still something that you're still not trying *
* Give up! *
* You've been trying to sell this so long *
* Even though there's no one out there buying. *
* Give up! *
* I know you're tired of the same old song, *
* But it's not really failure if you're not even trying: *
* Give up! *
* It's like you're banging your head against the same old wall *
* Baby all you got to show is a bruise *
* Well it's a crazy thing to do to just keep on repeating *
* All these actions that will only lead to cranial bleeding *
* Give up! *
* It's time for you to throw in the towel, *
* Capitulate and raise the white flag *
* Give up! *
* And don't be bitter just because you're a quitter, *
* You can even hold up your head up and brag *
* That's right, you gave up *
* She gave up! She gave up! *
* I gave up! *
That's right, I never even suited up, folks!
* I gave up! *
I threw the baby out with the bathwater!
* I gave up! *
I forgot the Alamo!
* I gave up! *
I'm not even going for the bronze!
* I gave up! *
I'm staying right here, man.
* I gave up! *
In this hammock. I like it. Aw, it's beautiful, man.
Okay everyone, let's get this race started. Contact!
Last one at the top of the mountain is a stinky dish sponge!
What'cha dooooin'?
About... five knots.
Thought so, I'm doing six! See you at the summit, slowpokes!
Hey, we're falling behind! What's happening?
Excessive weight seems to be hampering our progress.
Yeah, we have to lighten the load.
Aaah, aah! How does dangling me from a rope lighten our load?
Meh, it lightens my spirit.
Ow! Ow, ow ow!
Mountain lion!
Aaah!
Ah, Perry the Platypus.
Well, I guess it serves me right for bringing work on vacation with me.
Aaand there it is. Man, are we in a rut.
Anyway, this is my Dodo-Bird-Incubator... well, you know... -inator.
With this amazing device I can transform any egg to a Dodo egg.
Once they hatch I will march my terrifying Dodo bird army across the Tri-State Area.
You know, I don't really know what they look like,
but they're extinct like dinosaurs, so just imagine!
Giant, extinct dinosaur-like monsters laying waste to the city!
Ah, you know, you, you really picked me up out of my doldrums.
We're all here and ready to help, what would you like us to do?
Just sit back and enjoy the view, the train will do all the work.
Doin' nothing? Got that covered.
All aboard! Gearheart Summit, here we come!
You'll never make it! You should give up!
Yeah, give up, woo-hoo!
So long boys, and don't forget to clean your rooms!
Yes, mom.
It's your fault.
Quiet, you!
Looks like a dead heat so far.
We need to pick up the pace.
Alright, I'll get rid of this.
-I do not know why you even brought the swordfish! -It's a marlin.
Oh no...
Little help, guys!
Ferb.
So Candace, you sure seem relaxed. What's up?
I'm just taking in the ride and not worrying about what Phineas and Ferb are up to.
Well good for you, honey. Cause I've got gin.
We're playing Kings Corners.
Are we?
It's working! It's wonderful! It's amazing! It's...!
Narg narg narg! Narg!
It's... not quite as terrifying as I hoped.
Narg!
How am I supposed to take over the Tri-State Area with a bunch of these?
Where's the horror, the terror the-
Oh nooo! You, you'll have to wait in line, Perry the Platypus!
First I gotta deal with this! I mean, this looks like a turkey, it's like Thanksgiving.
It's EXACTLY like Thanksgiving!
Hey, Glenda, how's it going?
Mighty fine! You're looking chipper.
Oh yeah, I've been feeling great ever since I decided to heed your advice and give up.
Come again?
Well, all summer I've been just thinking about busting my brothers,
but after your speech this morning I've just gave up.
And now I'm much more relaxed.
So what you got from my speech about
how you should never give up is that you should give up?
Well, you did say "give up" a lot.
I did say that, didn't I.
Ah, Glenda? Glenda! The train is slowing down.
So it is. I guess we're out of coal. Oh well.
What? You can't give up! No coal means no steam,
and no steam means we can't make up the hill!
Meh.
We gotta do something! We need fuel! Wait!
I have an idea that just might work.
And don't think I don't know what you're up to. I'll be right back.
She's such an active child.
Just out of curiosity, what's going to happen to this train after today?
It'll be torn apart and an sold for scrap, why?
No reason.
What are we playing again?
Hey Phineas, what'cha doin' over there?
My steering is a little loose, I think that-
Do you need some help?
Well, yeah. Can you hold the wheel while I tighten it?
Gladly!
Well, that's perfect.
Yes. Yes, it is.
Check it out! A dodo bird! What's next on the list, Ferb?
Frankenstein's brain.
Yeeeah, uh, that was in my balloon.
Woo-hoo! Yes, we made it! I knew we could, I knew we could, I knew we could!
Oh, did you now?
Yeah, you can drop the act. I know you didn't forget to bring coal.
it's probably in that box you're sitting on.
But, lesson learned and as long as I'm no longer giving up,
I'm gonna go bust Phineas and Ferb. Thanks!
I could have forgot the coal!
I'm old!
Do you notice anything different here?
Yeah! Everything's half off at the gift shop!
Here we are! Gearheart Summit. Let's put them down over there, Ferb.
Why is it every store sells this outfit?
Mom, mom! Look what Phineas and Ferb are doing! Come quick!
Look, look! Right there! You see?! You see?!
Okay Candace. Oh, hello, boys.
...What? No!
A-ha!
Narf, narf, narf, narf!
Sayonara, dodo! Hey, how did you start that with no opposable thumbs?
Mom, look, it's just forced perspective, look! They're not really here!
It's an optical illusion! He's not really --
Hi, Candace!
How was the train ride?
Oh, I give up.
Some vacation this turned out to be.
So you bought a Museum of Biological Oddities, but you didn't get any biological oddities?
Huh. What?
There it is!
Narg narg narg! Narg!