好了 怎么说？ Well, what do you think?
我你妈的 Jesus Christ.
我跟你说了 这两部电影肯定像屎一样 I fuckin' told you these movies would be shit
现在看完 我他妈隔着屏幕都能闻到屎味儿 and they are pure shit, literally, they stink.
我知道你为什么要坚持让我看这些鸡巴玩意儿 I can tell you why you insisted to show me this trash
你个没用的蠢货 you vain dumb-ass.
把你那傻逼胡子刮了 Shave off your stupid brush
你看上去就会像这弱智的变态玩意儿一样 and you'll look precisely like this retarded pervert.
啊 Ouch!
你他妈弄好没？ Are we fuckin' done?
我还蛮喜欢这两部电影的 大家都在讨论呢 I kinda like these movies. Everyone's talking about them.
比尔不喜欢比他还疯狂的东西 Bill doesn't like when things are more insane than he is.
说话注意点 大奶炮 Watch it, tits!
跟我做的时候 随你怎么张嘴浪 Having the privilege to fuck, suck me dry
但平时 still doesn't give a woman...
可由不得你乱张嘴 the right to an opinion.
对不起 狱长 我只是开个玩笑 Sir, I'm sorry, it was just a joke...
闭上你的逼嘴 Shh, shut your pussy mouth
滚去给我回邮件 and go answer my fuckin' mail.
你在瞎鸡巴乐啥？ Why do you look so damn pleased?
是这样的 狱长 我想我找到了一个 Well, sir, I think I've found
解决我们所有问题的办法 the solution to all our problems.
- 什么事？- 柏斯先生 你得来4号监区查看一下 - What? - Mr. Boss, we've got a code 6 in block 4.
又这些鸡巴事 我肏他妈的 Not again. Dammit!
狱长 相较而言 我们监狱的人员流动 Sir, our prison relatively the highest personnel turnover,
暴力事件频率 诉讼及医疗费用开销 violence rates, legal and medical costs
比起国内任何其他劳教系统内的机构 都是最高的 than any other institution in the US correctional system.
我们得尽快改变一下 Things will have to change fast
不然 修斯州长就要我们让位了 or Governor Hughes will replace us.
是吗？除非我死了 Uh-huh? Over my dead body.
看看这老废物 Get a load of Billy Boss.
都不知道多带些人来？ What, you think you're a fucking lone ranger?
贱货 我会让你怎么死的都不知道 I'm no ke-mo fucking sah-bee, bitch!
狱长 拜托听一下我的解决方案 Please, sir? I think I have the solution.
给老大开门 Doors, for the boss.
纳粹婊 Scheiss, Nazi.
我要把你鸡奸到死 I'm gonna rape you to fucking death.
你怕了是吧？ and it scares you.
我看的出来 I can see it...
你个狗卵 you motherfucker.
他是几号犯人？ What's his number?
狱长 他是297号 Prisoner 297, sir.
给我记着 Make a note.
我会回来收拾这废物的 I'll treat this walking skin cancer later on.
别动了 Stop moving!
马上就帮你治疗了 Medic's coming.
哪个混蛋干的？ Which cocksucker did this?
你妈逼的 给我好好按住 Hold his arm down, goddammit.
狱长 178号干的 178, sir.
对了 医生 我要你来检查下我的身体状况 By the way, doc, I need my physical check up.
一个小时之后 我会去你那儿 See you in an hour, at your office.
可是… Sir?
可是什么可是 听到没有？ Did you hear me?
听到了 狱长 Yes, sir!
我肏你妈 Fuck you!
看 用的是这个 Look.
你下半生就等着被鸡奸 被干死吧 Death, rape will be your destiny!
这头黑猩猩是用哪只手撸管的？ What's the ape nigger's masturbation arm?
应该用的右手 狱长 Uh, he's right handed, sir.
不要啊 God!
把他翻过去 Turn him around, belly down.
被教训得还不够 是吗？ You want more?
拜托 狱长 够了 Please, sir, no more.
考虑下医药费的开销 Think of the medical expenses.
你妈个逼的… You...
等你的猩猩骨头好得差不多了 When your little monkey bones are healed...
我会再让你爽一次 I'll come by for a follow up.
嘿 狗卵 Oh, you motherfucker.
我要把你宰了 你给我等着 I'm gonna kill you, you wait!
你们想鸡奸我到死吗？ You wanna rape me to death?
去死吧 去死吧 去死吧 Death trap, death trap, death trap!
来啊 你们这群狗卵 Come on, motherfuckers!
都给我跪下来 On your knees!
我要你们放尊重点 I want respect!
都给老子放尊重点 I deserve respect!
放尊重点 Respect!
哦 我的天 Oh, God.
啊 Ow!
上压160 下压120 160 to 120.
好吧 Heh!
可我就是要喝 Sweet bleeding Jesus.
听我说 比尔 听我说我的计划 Listen, Bill, my plan...
给我闭嘴 Shut the fuck up.
我要放松一会儿 I need to relax for a few minutes!
有这么多问题在 你怎么放松得了？ How can you relax with such problems at hand?
我相信… I... I believe...
我相信… I believe...
中世纪的酷刑能管教好那群混蛋 in bringing back medieval torture methods.
就像吊刑 脚刑 Reverse hanging, Spanish boots,
还有古老而又实用的拉架刑 and the good old rack!
可事实上 Statistics show that the system
你说的这些根本不管用 as it is now just doesn't function.
对付害怕蜘蛛的犯人 Poisonous Spiders...
就得用到毒蜘蛛 for prisoners with arachnophobia.
对付穆斯林和犹太人 Massive force feeding
就得强迫他们吃大量的猪肉下脚料 with raw slaughterhouse waste of pork for Muslims and Jews.
再把他们打残 Beat them crippled
让他们的身体和信仰都受到摧残 with their Torahs, Korans or Bibles.
国内每年有超过500亿的资金 用在了劳教上 More than $50 Billion a year are spent on corrections.
然而 有超过十分之四的犯人 Yet more than 4 in 10 offenders nationwide
释放不满三年 又重回监狱了 return to prison within three years of their release.
对付那群人渣 就必须不择手段 Eyes for eyes,
对他们千刀万剐也在所不惜 Teeth for teeth, times 100!
监狱是让犯人畏惧的地方 A prison should be a real deterrent
而不是什么该死的疗养院 not a goddamn nursing home.
没错 I agree!
但你那些中世纪的玩意儿 可不是解决办法 But medieval torture ain't gonna be the answer.
不过我有解决办法 Something else will.
这就是为什么… That's why...
柏斯先生… Mr. Boss...
这个特别的包裹是给你的 I have a special delivery for you.
别烦我 大奶炮 我肏你妈的 Don't bother me, tits. Goddammit!
我得思考 I have to think!
对不起 狱长 Sorry, sir.
慢着 No, wait.
给我吧 Give it to me.
你的屁股骚得我欲罢不能 我就知道那是什么东西了 Your rolling ass cheeks tell me what it must be.
对了 午饭前 来把我吸干净了 By the way I need my ball sack emptied before lunch.
你妈的 Holy shit.
那是什么？ What is that?
非洲酋长 Tribe leaders in Africa
用他们来获得神力 chew them for unbelievable strength.
那究竟是什么东西呢？ Yeah, but what exactly is it?
- 晒干的阴蒂 - 你说什么？ - Dried clitorises. - What?
阴蒂 Clit-o-ris-es!
什么事？ What?
- 我们来找你了 - 什么？ - We are comin'. - What?
贱人 我们要来你办公室了 We are comin' to your office, bitch.
你是谁？ Who's this?
你居然不知道我是谁？ Oh, you don't know who I am?
我是要把你杀了的那位 要把你鸡奸成渣的那位 It's your death squad coming to rape you to pieces,
你这白人渣渣 you fucking white trash!
马上给我安排警卫 Give me a guard on the line this instant!
怎么了？ Somethin' wrong?
他们来了 They are coming.
谁来了？ Who's comin'?
我的死期来了 It's a code 8.
发生什么事了？ What's going on?
- 滚开 - 嘿 - Fuck off! - Hey!
这次是真的 蠢货 This time... it is real, jerk!
真的不能再真了 Really real!
天呐 又这样 Oh, no. Not again.
有什么事吗？ Yes, sir?
刚那通电话是怎么回事？ What's goin' on?
抱歉 巴特勒先生 Sorry, Mr. Butler,
346号刚在进行一月一次的家庭电访 一定是他打来 346 must have used his once a month family phone call
骚扰柏斯先生的 to call Mr. Boss.
不会再出这种意外了 Won't happen again.
虚惊一场而已 False alarm!
为什么不让我进来？发生什么事了？ Why didn't you let me in? What's going on?
我真他妈个狗逼的要热疯了 This goddamn heat is drivin' me insane.
狱长 琼斯医生来电 让你过去检查… Sir, Doctor Jones called about your physical...
不管谁干的这事 Whoever did this is...
我要肏死他全家上下祖宗十八代 fucked!
你心跳过快 Well, your heart is racing.
你最近一直很有压力吗？ Have you been under a lot of stress?
没压力我肏逼怎么肏进去？ Stress is for pussies.
我还听到了心脏杂音 I also hear a heart murmur.
听着 我可不是花钱让你妈的来说坏消息的 Listen, I'm not fuckin' paying you to give me bad news.
我想给你抽个血 再做一个心电图 I would like to draw some blood and do an EKG as well.
你妈逼的快给我好消息 I demand some fuckin'good news...
要不然 我让你吃不了兜着走 or your ass will be fired.
我没什么毛病 是不是？ There's nothin' wrong with me, right?
狱长 你健康的很 You're in perfect health, sir.
那就太好了 Great.
我就知道嘛 I knew it.
去做你的事吧 Back to work!
肏 肏 Fuck! Fuck!
老废物 你来找死了啊 Billy Boss, good that you joined the party!
你真是不见棺材不掉泪啊 Are there any regrets,
你个只会电话里意淫杀人的印第安怂逼 you little phone-action Tonto?
你要是头上再长几根毛 我非剥下你的头皮不可 I would scalp you if you had any fuckin' hair.
肏你妈 Fuck...
垃圾… Fucker...
这是什么？ What is this?
是水啊 狱长 Water, sir.
我说了 要沸水 I said boiling water...
你们这些鸡巴脸 fuck face!
是啊 记得把你们的蛋蛋放进去 就能煲成睾汤了 Yeah, get some teabags with that too, Earl Grey.
狱长啊 不要再浪费医药费了 Please, sir, just think of the outrageous medical costs.
再这样 我们的工作快都要保不住了 It's our jobs on the line here.
狱长 修斯州长20分钟后就到这儿了 Sir, Governor Hughes will be arriving in 20 minutes.
你说什么？ What?
怎么今天就来了？ Today?
我当那屌人要周四才来 I thought that lobby whore would come in on Thursday?
对不起 可日程安排就是今天 Uh, sorry, it's... it's in the agenda for today.
日他奶奶 Shit!
尽量勾引他摸你的屁股 Try to make him touch your ass
那样我们就能告他性骚扰了 so we can sue his ass for sexual harassment!
知道了 狱长 I will, sir.
今晚的死刑你去吗？ Will you be attending the execution tonight?
你他妈的不知道么？ You fuckin' know...
我永远都不会去看那些 I never go to these
没有痛苦挣扎的注射死刑 wellness executions by injections.
杜怀特修女会代我安抚那些将要安乐而死的灵魂的 Sister Dwight will attend the feel-good penalty.
放开我 Get me out of here!
闭嘴 Shut up!
你这个土著乡巴佬 You, timber nigger!
改编自关塔那摩监狱虐刑 水刑升级版 Guantanamo Style XXL.
肏你妈逼的 你个纳粹 Fuck you, you Nazi!
沸水刑 Boiling water boarding...
由比尔·柏斯原创 by Bill Boss!
我让你凶 Eyes for eyes!
我让你横 Teeth for teeth.
爽 Yeah!
我让你爽个够 Times 100!
你疯了 威廉·柏斯 You lost your soul, William Boss.
有什么事吗？州长？ Oh, excuse me, sir.
我… Um, I'm...
州长 请允许我 May I offer you a
为您献上来自多明尼加的顶级雪茄 top of the line Dominican cigar, governor?
我呢 只抽古巴雪茄 Hmm, I only smoke Cuban cigars
那是世界上最好的 the world's best.
您可是… You are...
在伟大的美利坚合众国土生土长的人啊 a native-born citizen of the glorious United States of America.
你是地球上最优秀民族的一员 The greatest nation on earth.
而你却不耻于抽 And you are not ashamed to smoke
古巴产的共匪雪茄？ communistic cigars from Cuba?
我只是个来自施魏因富特的德裔美国人 I'm only a German American from Schweinfurt.
但我却为你感到… But I feel...
深深的耻辱啊 州长 deeply ashamed for you, sir!
真是抱歉 I apologize.
都是因为天太热了 快把我弄疯了 The heat... is driving me crazy.
是啊 都是因为天太热了 Right, the heat.
不过 我倒是觉得 是因为你那不堪入目的财务报表 I guess it's your... depressing statistics.
这个啊 这个你得问问巴特勒先生 Statistics are Mr. Butler's department.
我… 我… 我知道情况不是很好 I... I... I know things aren't going so well.
我们的支出不是很有节制 Um, we are running costs inefficiently.
没错 That's true!
我恐怕… 不得不开除可怜的巴特勒先生 I'm afraid... I have to fire poor Mr. Butler.
确实可怜 要给你背锅 可你的会计跟这事没关系 Poor Mr. Butler. Your accountant... has nothing to do with it.
以暴制暴 只会显得毫无控管能力 Answering violence with violence is not the way of a real leader.
比尔啊 别一天到晚当自己很牛逼 You Bill are no Boss.
不过 你倒是做成了一件事情 You have managed one thing however...
就是在我的选举年 把我给毁了 to damage me in an election year.
两周后 我会再过来的 I'll return in two weeks.
等我再来的时候 我希望有所改变 When I return, I want changes.
但要是还是老样子 And if I don't get them...
你就准备走人吧 I will replace you...
当然 也包括你的会计 明白吗？ and your accountant, understood?
非常明白 州长 我当然明白 Very well, sir. Sure thing.
州长 您放心好了 No problem, sir!
肏 肏 Fuck! Fuck!
肏你妈逼啊 Fuck you!
肏你个鸡巴 Fuck yourself!
你个低能 共匪 烂逼 You imbecile, communist, zombie cunt.
没人这么羞辱过我 Nobody insults me like that.
我要拿你的古巴雪茄 I'll stuff
狠狠捅进你那被鸡奸到下垂的屁眼里 your baggy homosexual shithole with
再从你喉咙里爆射出来 Cuban Cigars up to your throat!
你惹错人了 我可是比尔·柏斯 Don't mess with Bill Boss!
我发誓我已经用尽法子去勾引他了 I... I did everything I could, I swear to God!
柏斯 你就听我一句吧？ Please, Boss, will you just listen to my idea?
给我闭嘴 Shut the fuck up!
去他妈的那一套狗屁娘炮控管理论 Fuck the sissy psychological leadership bullshit!
我的控管能力 My leadership balls
就跟原子弹一样 are atom bombs!
威慑力爆表 A 100 megatons each!
我要让他知道什么才是控管能力 I'll teach him leadership!
我一直就是想怎么样就怎么样 I'll do what I wanted to do since ages!
我要把那些混蛋全都阉了 Castrate them all!
不行 没用的 No, it won't work
而且阉了就真的是阉了 besides it's permanent!
让那群人渣去操场集合 Send the cockroaches to the yard!
可外面有48.8摄氏度啊 But it's 120 degrees outside
你这也太乱来了 that's irresponsible!
那可棒极了 Great.
烤死那群猪 Let the pork roast!
上午好啊 你们这群猪 Good morning pigs!
很高兴能再次闻到你们的酸臭味 Good to smell your acid stink again.
监狱就像一个养猪场 A prison is like a swine farm
而我就是你们至高无上 无与伦比的主人 and I'm your Almighty Lord and swineherd.
我爷爷在德国有一个很大养猪场 My grandfather owned a big one in Germany
他阉了上千头猪 He castrated thousands of pigs.
这是为什么呢？ Why?
因为它们的睾丸素太多了 Because they have too much testosterone.
导致了它们非常不听话 That's what makes 'em so aggressive.
或许你们很好奇 我为什么跟你们说 You might wonder, why I'm telling you
这个感人肺腑的小故事 this touching little story.
因为 你们这些屌人之中 One of you lucky cock-suckers
会有一位幸运儿 将被赋予特权 来抢先体验 will have the privilege to experience first as a prototype
变成娘炮太监的感觉 the transformation into a sissy eunuch.
把你们阉了之后 Castration will return
你们会变得友好温和 all of you back into society
就像怂逼娘炮一样 这样就能重新融入社会了 as sweet, harmless, submissive pussy schnitzels.
那么 幸运儿就是 And the winner is...
我们那位帅气的纹身婊 our awesome tattoo wasp!
恭喜297号娘炮 Sister prisoner 297! Congrats!
把他带去特待间 Take him to the special cell.
好好享受阳光浴吧 Enjoy your sunbath!
安拉保佑 安拉保佑 Allahu Akbar! Allahu Akbar!
嘿 狱长 我就喜欢你这样的秃驴 看着就想来一炮 Hey, warden, I like my men bald. I think it's sexy.
快来吃我的鸡巴 让你见识下我的大屌 Why don't you come over here and suck my dick.
放心 No worries!
我还是个孩子的时候 As a child...
就已经阅屌无数了 I've seen it a hundred times
相信我 trust me.
把他转过去 Turn him around...
面朝墙 facing the wall!
哦不 哦不 吓死我了哦 Oh, no. Please. Don't!
啊 贱货 Ah! You bitch!
啊 Ah!
把这两个小可爱带给厨师 Bring these little fuckers to the cook!
我要三分熟的 I want 'em medium rare
当作午饭 for lunch!
帮他缝好阴囊 Have him stitched up!
抱歉 狱长 Uh, I'm sorry, sir.
杜怀特在这儿 我放不开 I... I can't do it with Dwight in the room.
那你还放开？我日你妈的 Go ahead for Christ's sake!
你就当杜怀特是我的宠物好了 Dwight is my pet.
就是这个感觉 哇哦 Good. Oh.
快咽下去 Come on. Swallow it!
我把你那混蛋父亲弄出了监狱 I didn't get your asshole of father
你得好好谢谢我啊 out of prison for nothin'!
咽下去 贱人 快咽下去 Swallow it, bitch! Swallow up!
我日 God damn it!
狱长 我能吃颗糖 尝尝味道吗？ Sir, could I please have a candy for the taste?
- 吃吧 - 别吃啊 黛熙 - Help yourself! - Don't Daisy, don't.
闭嘴 Shut up!
好难吃 居然是咸的 Gross, this is salty.
去做你的事吧 小淫娃 Back to work, office slut.
我的午饭呢？我他妈快饿死了 Where is my lunch? I'm fuckin' hungry.
柏斯先生 你的午饭来了 Here is your lunch, Mr. Boss.
营养十足啊 Energy Food!
爸爸 我保证我没事 Daddy, I promise you nothing's wrong.
我只是比较忙而已 No. I've just been so busy.
我确实跟他谈过小时数的问题了 I... I did talk to him about the hours.
他说会适当斟酌的 He said that it's gonna get better.
看呐 Look...
我们上报了 还是个正面报道 we are positively in the papers.
凌晨1点 罪人克雷格·辛纳 "Craig Sinner executed in George H. W. Bush state prison at 1:00 A.M."
在乔治·赫伯特·沃克·布什州立监狱被执行死刑 "executed in George H. W. Bush state prison at 1:00 A.M."
你昨晚睡着了吗？ Did you get off last night?
他死前在呼唤撒旦 倒是有些瘆人 Well, he called for Satan before he died!
在那个小家伙睡着的时候 Putting the cockroach
他拿了根傻逼刺针偷偷地扎死了他 gently to sleep with a sissy needle.
他就是这样 Is that the way
杀了那个孩子的 是吗？ he killed the kid?
怎么又是这个 No!
我说了 阉割酷刑 Torture castration will be
是最终的解决方案 the final solution.
解决不了的 No, it won't!
为什么你要放这两个鸡巴玩意儿在我桌上？ Why is this shit on my desk?
拜托 比尔 Please, please, please, Bill
你就听听我的想法 好吗？ will you just listen to my idea?
不行 别在我吃营养餐的时候说 Not when I'm eating my health food!
什么事？ What?
狱长 297号犯人就快醒了 Sir, prisoner 297 is about to wake up.
他肯定会服服贴贴的 The moment of truth.
你个白人渣渣 You white fuck!
变深红色了 太棒了 Crimson red, thoroughbred.
我还是我 你个白人渣渣 I'm still a red man, you fucker. You white fuck.
等我能自由走动了 我要插瞎你的双眼 When I'm walking free, I'm gonna stab in your eyes.
该让你再爽一次了 Time for the follow up as I promised!
他现在仍然有些虚弱 Well, he's still a bit weak from the incident
但已经给他用了一些吗啡来减缓他的疼痛 but we have given him some morphine to manage the pain.
是我亲手阉了他的 I personally castrated him.
是啊 我们都知道 Yes, we all are aware.
等到了明天 And tomorrow
我们就要开始大规模阉割了 we'll start a fuckin' mass castration
把他们全阉了 doing them all!
医生 辛苦你了 救死扶伤不容易啊 Thanks, doc, for fixing everything.
我欠柏斯先生一个很大的人情 I owe Mr. Boss big time.
这是唯一一家 不需要我有执照 This is the only hospital that will let me work
就让我就职的医院 without my license.
没错 You better believe it!
你知道感恩就好 Glad you appreciate it.
嘿 老兄 Hey, man.
你感觉如何？ How do you feel?
现在你是不是感觉平和 甚至还很感激我？ Feel submissive. Even thankful, I bet.
你拿了我的蛋蛋 没关系 You took them, that's okay.
我也不需要 I don't need them.
等我恢复过来了 When I get loose
我会搞些刺钢丝来 I'm gonna find some barb wire
你就等着被爆肛吧 and I'm gonna fuck you in the ass with it.
然后我会把你的德国纳粹爹妈给挖出来 And then I'm gonna dig up your German Nazi parents
我他妈的要好好的奸尸一下 and I'm gonna fucking rape them too.
我会让他们爽歪歪的 狗卵 Sieg heil, motherfucker!
我跟你说了 你那方法行不通 Yeah, I told you it wouldn't work.
闭上你那张臭嘴 Shut your filthy mouth!
他没心跳了 I'm not getting a heartbeat.
快救活他 快点 快点 Resuscitate him. Quickly! Hurry up!
我要个电击器 I need a crash cart over here!
好了 充电 Alright, it's charging.
好了 放电吧 Alright, everybody, clear?
现在 电击 Shocking now.
好了 充电 Alright, charging.
电击 Shocking now!
我要再杀他一次 I'll kill this creature twice!
太他妈热了 I do not accept this heat!
我想给你看看 I want you to watch these.
我看过了 真的很不错 Oh, I've seen those. They're really good.
你去哪了？ Where have you been?
我要杀了那些毒逼 I'm gonna shoot all the malignant cock sockets.
然后杀了你 Then you.
最后我自尽 And then myself.
我他妈活着还有什么意思 What's the goddamn point of living
连阉割这么天才的办法都失败了 when even the castration program doesn't work...
我就等着被开除么？ and I get fired?
你他妈认真的吗？ Seriously?
这也是我的工作 我的生活也是岌岌可危 It's also my job, and my life on the line!
你居然敢这么对我说话 你个怪胎 How dare you, ugly piece of mutant shit talking to me like that?
我这几天都试着告诉你我的方案 I have been trying to tell you for days now.
可以解决一切问题的方案 I have the answer to all our problems!
我们把犯人做成人体蜈蚣就可以了 We've got to make a human centipede of our prisoners.
拿一个人的嘴缝到另一个人的屁股上 Sewn ass to mouth
来连接和共用一个消化系统 sharing one digestive system.
这样就不会再有斗殴 不会再有袭警 不会再有不敬 No more prison fights, no more assaults on guards, no more disrespect.
而且他们就真的是跪着的 They will literally be on their knees
你能想像下他们哀求你的情景 begging for your mercy
这也是你所说的畏惧 最顶极的畏惧 and it's the ultimate deterrent
对于那些还想犯罪的 也再不会有这念头了 for those considering a career in crime.
这是一个非常明智的方案 It's brilliant!
而且我们再也不用处理他们的屎了 We don't gotta to deal with their shit no more.
他们会互相处理的 They just gotta deal with each other's.
你开玩笑吗？ What?
那个B级片里的狗屁玩意儿？ That B movie shit?
怎么可能 Impossible!
可以实现的 No! It is possible.
所以我让黛熙约了一下这电影的导演 汤姆·希克斯先生 That's why I let Daisy make an appointment with Mr. Tom Six creator of these films.
他说了 从医学角度来看 100%能让他们浑然一体 He claims that it's 100% medically accurate!
这家伙太不切实际了 The man is still in his potty stage.
简直是想屎想疯了 A poop infatuated toddler.
你马上打电话给他 You call him now
跟他说 我不会跟他这么一个拍电影的傻逼 and tell him I don't speak with a stupid filmmaker
来讨论他的恋屎情节 about his poop fetish!
好吧 那我们就等着被开除吧 Fine then, we'll get fired!
你 You...
现在 被开除了 are fired! Right now!
比尔·柏斯 我一直都很敬重你 You know, Bill Boss, I used to look up to you.
甚至把你当偶像来崇拜 I used to idol-worship you.
我为你工作了10年 I worked 10 years for you
我把胡子留成这傻逼样 也是为了能看上去多少有点你的风采 and I grew this stupid mustache to look like you.
但我现在算是看清你了 But I know what you are.
你就一卑鄙无耻的虐待狂 You are a sadistic, vile, asshole.
你给我滚 Get out of my face.
你这怪胎 You malignant midget!
我可是刚拯救了你那狗日的人生 I just saved your fuckin' life!
我恨… I hate...
所有人类 human beings!
我恨你们这些怂逼黑奴 Black, chicken slave niggers...
我恨你们这些乱伦的墨西哥猴子 mother fisting, baby raping Mexican lowlifes.
我肏你们妈逼的 Me cago en la madre que te pario.
我恨你们这些被割了包皮的 内心丑陋的 Circumcised, ugly
犹太禽兽 Jewish goat fuckers.
我恨你们这些留着一脸阴毛的伊斯兰清真猪 Pubic hair bearded Islamic halal pigs.
我恨你们这些漂白了屁眼的白皮人渣 Jesus fuckin' bleached assholes.
我恨你们这些阳痿的小眼黄脸熊 Impotent, yellow faced, narrow eyed coons!
警卫呢？ Guards?
杜怀特 Dwight!
你们是怎么… How you all...
怎么逃出牢房的？ got out of your cells?
马上回你们的牢房去 Go back to your cells, immediately.
我只是照章办事 I only follow orders.
我只是尽职工作 I just try to do my job.
请原谅我 让我离开吧 Please forgive me and let me go.
我请求你们所有人原谅 I will pardon all of you!
不对 No!
应该是我允许你们离开 I just let you go...
我允许你们马上离开 immediately, you can go.
快走吧 Go, go!
滚去找你们的狗日的… See your fuck...
去找你们的家人吧 See your loved ones.
我心脏不好 I have a heart problem...
还有糖尿病 and diabetes mellitus!
我现在太紧张了 我可能会猝死的 Under stress I could get a severe attack that would kill me!
今天可是你的大日子 Today is your day
你就等着被肏成傻逼吧 to be fucked like the rest of us.
不过 我不会肏你那恶心的屁眼 But I'm not gonna do you in your stinking ass.
我要在你肾脏的那个位置 I'm gonna cut me a fresh hole
挖个洞 in your soft kidney tissue.
把他翻过去 Belly down!
肏死他 Death rape!
我肏 太爽了 Oh, shit, this shit feels good.
肏死他 Death rape!
你感觉爽吗？ You like that, daddy?
别动 要射了 Don't move, here it comes!
什么？ What?
汤姆·希克斯先生到了 Sir, Mr. Tom Six is at the gate.
让他进来 Send him in.
杜怀特 Dwight!
我不是开除你了吗？ Didn't I fire you?
我是来给你最后一次机会的 I'm gonna give you one last chance
如果你对我说的没兴趣 and if you don't like what you hear
我就马上离开这里 then I'll quit myself!
汤姆·希克斯先生 你好 Mr. Tom Six! It's so great to meet you.
我叫黛熙 能否在你进去之前 My name's Daisy, uh, I was wondering if you could sign
给我签个名呢？ an autograph for me before you go in.
- 可以啊 宝贝 - 谢谢 - Sure, babe. - Thank you.
你真人看上去要帅多了 You're even more handsome in person.
谢谢 Thanks.
这边走 Uh, let me show you in.
先生们 汤姆·希克斯先生到了 Gentlemen, Mr. Tom Six.
你好 希克斯先生 Ah, Mr. Six, it's nice meet you.
- 先生 你好 - 我叫杜怀特·巴特勒 - Hello, sir. - My name is Dwight Butler.
这是我老大 比尔·柏斯先生 This is my boss, Mr. Bill Boss.
你好 Sir.
请坐 Please take a seat.
希克斯先生 首先我想说 First of all, Mr. Six, I'd like to say
恭喜你的电影成功 congratulations on your movies.
你的电影已经成了一种文化趣象 They've become a... a cultural mime.
我是说 像《南方公园》这部剧 I mean, there is the "South Park" episode
就有一集恶搞了一下《人体蜈蚣》 of the Human Centipede.
另外也被用在了洛杉矶成人搞怪秀上 And then there's the LA porn parody,
甚至被用到了猫玩具上 and the cat toys.
我们可没时间讨论… I don't have the time for this...
这些粉丝向的狗屁玩意儿 fan shit shat.
抱歉 我迟到了 Well, I'm sorry I'm late.
297号囚犯心脏病发作 Prisoner 297 had a heart attack
我不得不再救他一次 and I had to resuscitate him again.
不过 现在他情况稳定了 But, um, he's stable now.
我… 希克斯先生 见到你真是太高兴了 我是你的铁杆影迷啊 I... Mr. Six, this is a big pleasure 'cause I'm a big fan!
谢谢 Uh, thank you sir.
今天我们欢聚一堂 Well, we are gathered here today.
主要是探讨 把希克斯先生的人体蜈蚣 Glad to investigate the possibility
来用到我们的监狱中 这样一个想法的可行性 of applying Mr. Six's human centipede idea to our prison.
我意思是 从医学角度来说 真的是100%没问题吗？ I mean, is it 100% medically accurate?
在我的监狱 所有事都是我说了算 This is mydesk! In my headquarters! At my penitentiary!
醒醒吧 Wake up!
我们可不是在扮演电影里的几个傻逼 We're not in a movie here playing some idiots!
这个确实是100%没问题的 Well, it is 100% medically accurate.
我在阿姆斯特丹咨询过一位正牌的外科医生 I consulted a real surgeon in Amsterdam
他做了一份非常详细的手术报告给我 and he made a very detailed operation report for me
他说 实际上 他是可以 and he said he could actually make
在他的医院里完成人体蜈蚣的手术的 a human centipede in his hospital.
我把报告带来了 I brought the, uh, operation reports
还有原理图 and the drawings...
或许您能过目一下 so maybe you can have a look at that?
好的 Okay, uh...
你怎么说 医生？ What do you think, doc?
依我看 Well, from what I see here, uh, it looks...
这绝对可行 medically accurate.
确定吗？ You're sure?
但在愈合期 You would have to give anti-rejection medication
你必须用到抗排异药 and there is always the risk of infection
同时也少不了被感染的风险 during the healing process, but, uh...
不过嘛 我确定没问题 yeah, I'm sure.
那么关于排泄功能呢？ But what about the excretia?
关于这个嘛 粪便不会被外界细菌所感染 Well, the feces wouldn't be contaminated by outside bacteria,
因为粪便会从 because it would be going from
一个消化道转到另一个上去 one digestive tract to another.
所以不会造成什么危害 So it wouldn't be harmful.
当然 这个也不会有什么营养价值 But there wouldn't be much nutritional value.
从另一方面来说 如果你进行了一系列的 On the other hand if you gave a series of, uh, injections
液态维生素和矿物质注射 of fluids with plenty of vitamins and minerals
那么 在这种情况下 I don't see why someone couldn't survive
都是能维持基本寿命的 a lifetime in this position.
先生们 Aah! Gentlemen.
这是一个历史性的时刻 This is a historical moment.
这个办法比中世纪酷刑好多了 This is beyond medieval torture!
也比阉割睾丸好多了 Beyond castration!
简直就是全国超一流的劳教措施 The ultimate correction nationwide.
先生们 我们有事要做了 We have business on hand, gentlemen.
马上去执行这个方案 We start immediately.
不行 手术执行起来可不像 No, the surgery can't be done
汤姆·希克斯电影里的那样 like in Tom Six's movies.
我们得考虑到实际情况 We have to take into account of the fact that
犯人的刑期结束后 at the end of their sentence
他们必须被安然无恙的释放 the prisoners have to be released without being mutilated.
所以呢 我是这么想的 So I've been thinking about this.
我们可以用到肠胃咬环 What we have is instead of the pulling of the teeth
来代替拔牙 we have a gastro-intestinal bite-ring
咬环能把他们的嘴固定撑开 that holds the mouth open,
这样排泄也会畅通无阻 so they can't stop the feces from coming into their system.
在连接他们的时候 Instead of the
我们可以注射一些造成临时性瘫痪的药物 cutting of the knee ligaments
来代替割断膝关节韧带 we simply inject to induce temporary paralysis in that joint.
之后 再把后面一个人的头部 Then, to attach the head
固定到前面一个人的臀部上 to the buttocks of the person in front
我们有一个能调整 拉紧 we have a system of leather straps which can be adjusted, pulled in tight
且能松开即解的皮带控制系统 and then undone for when we release.
等他们刑满了 脱离人体蜈蚣后 At the end of their sentence and taken out of the centipede
他们的嘴和肛门周围 只会有一些小疤痕 there's only a slight scar round their mouth and anus.
就像这样 医生 你觉得如何？ Well, doctor, what do you think?
这能实现吗？ Is it possible?
非常明智的做法 巴特勒先生 Very clever, Mr. Butler.
但是 我们要着手去做的这些 But this, all of this is beginning to be
都严重违背了我的入职誓言 in serious conflict with my Hippocratic oath.
当然 如果我不参与的话 我就会被开除了 不是吗？ If I back out of this, I'm gonna get fired, aren't I?
琼斯先生 你说的没错 Very clever thinking, Mr. Jones.
我摄制《人体蜈蚣》最初的想法是 You know, my original idea for the Human Centipede films
用嘴肛缝合来惩罚 was sewing a child molester's mouth to the anus
一个喜欢猥亵儿童的胖卡车司机 我很喜欢这想法 of a fat truck driver, as a punishment, so I love this.
我刚好给那些垃圾终身犯 I just got an even better idea for our
和人渣死囚想到了一个更好的主意 life-time-trash and the death-row-scum.
但我要先和我忠诚的医生探讨下 But I'll talk to my loyal doctor first.
先生们 你们可以用我人体蜈蚣的这个想法 Gentlemen, you may use my human centipede idea,
但我有一个条件 but on one condition.
我电影里用的都是些虚假的乳胶道具 I have witnessed all the fake latex stuff on my movie sets.
我只要求 让我见识一下真正的实体嘴肛手术 Now I insist on attending one of your real mouth to anus operations.
没问题 Deal.
医生 你来全全负责这次手术事宜 I put you in charge of the whole operation, doctor!
很快你就能领导 Soon you'll lead...
全国各地的外科手术团队了 surgical teams all over the States.
太棒了 Fantastic!
我们马上就会拥有一个非常大的外科手术团队了 Uh, we are going to need a much bigger surgical team.
我们得给所有犯人验血 We have to run blood workups on all the prisoners,
并检查一下他们的粪便是否有寄生虫 uh, test their stool samples for parasites.
无论你需要什么都行 医生 Whatever you need, doc.
我又想到了一个非常好的主意 I've another brilliant idea.
在那些人渣每月一次的观影夜上 We'll show the cockroaches the two Human Centipede films
我们先让他们看看这两部电影 back to back at their monthly film night
然后… and then...
我再宣布他们的命运 I'll announce them their fate.
那些犯人会暴动的 The prisoners will tear this place apart.
我们不能让他们知道这个想法 We have to do this without the fore knowledge of our clientele.
闭嘴 扫兴的家伙 Shut up, pooper.
你居然敢背叛我？ How dare you turn your back on me?
这他妈是什么东西？ Yo, what the fuck is this?
这玩意儿太邪秽了 This trash occupies a world where the stars don't shine.
快点 吞下去 婊子 Come on, swallow it, bitch.
- 不 - 吞下去 - No! - Swallow.
搞鸡巴啊 What the fuck?
哦 天呐 Oh, man!
这两部电影太不健康了 These films risk causing harm.
必须封禁 They should be banned!
关了那鸡巴玩意儿 Turn that shit off!
人渣们 你们好 Hey cockroaches
喜欢这两部片子吗？ did you like these films?
我是专门为你们精心手选的 I handpicked them for you
作为对你们的思想引导和培育 as an instructional and mental training.
世界上第一只 The world's first
人犯蜈蚣 human-prison centipede
最终会教会你们 will finally teach you
怎么好好做人 how to become humans.
我可不认为这是个好主意 I don't think this is a very good idea.
就是要 Literally
先废了你们那该死的手和膝盖 on your fucking hands and knees.
再让你们的臭逼嘴 Your ugly pussy mouths
对准残留着大便的屁眼 缝起来 sewn to an unwiped asshole
就能让你们从狱友那里 feeding of the diarrhea
吃到他们拉出来的东西了 from your fellow inmate.
我已经等不及 I can't wait
见证 to see...
你们最最最最痛苦的 your pure
那一刻 agony!
救命 Help!
发生什么事了？发生什么事了？ What's going on? What's going on?
闭嘴 Shut up!
别伤害我 比尔·柏斯在里面 Don't hurt me, Bill Boss is in there.
我发誓 一切都跟我无关 I have nothing to do with this, I swear to God!
马上派特种部队过来 Special forces immediately!
把门打开 Get the fucking door!
是时候搅个天翻地覆了 It's time to fuck!
比尔 Bill!
这儿 Here.
我在这儿 I'm here.
你在哪儿？ Where are you?
这儿 Here.
在这里 我需要帮助 Over here, I need help.
看到他了 Got eyes on Bill Boss.
谢天谢地 总算找到你了 Thank God, I just couldn't find you.
一切都在控制之中了 The situation's under control now.
但黛熙恐怕伤得很严重 But they, they really hurt Daisy.
你就看不到我受伤了吗？ Can't you see I'm hurt?
帮我叫医疗队过来 Get the medical team for me!
快 Hurry up!
我需要急诊 It's an emergency!
现在 Now it's
人间炼狱就要来临了 hell on Earth!
听到我说的了吗？ Do you hear me?
宇宙的 Scum of the...
败类 universe!
现在简直就是《沉默的羔羊》比尔·柏斯版 The "Silence of the Lambs."
给我麻醉步枪 Sedation rifle!
我肏 Fuck!
别紧张 No worries.
只是麻醉步枪而已 It's only a sedation rifle.
不要啊 No!
肏你妈 Fuck you!
先生们 Gentlemen.
人间炼狱 Unleash...
来临了 hell!
现在他们可听话多了 Their submissiveness
我一下子感到好亢奋 gives me a huge erection.
肏起来 肏起来 Death rape, death rape
肏 肏 肏 rape, rape, rape.
肏死你们 Eyes for eyes
干死你们 teeth for teeth.
你们这些人渣 Get the fucking scum
都他妈的给我跪下 on their fucking knees.
都他妈的给我跪下 On your fucking knees
都他妈的 他妈的给我跪下 on your fucking, fucking knees.
你们这些人渣 Get the fucking scum
都他妈的给我跪下 on their fucking knees.
都他妈的 他妈的给我跪下 on your fucking, fucking knees.
都他妈的 他妈的给我跪下 哈哈哈哈哈 fucking, fucking knees. Ha ha ha.
我来解释下 I'll explain.
这次宏大的手术 This spectacular operation
就做这么一次 only once.
我们先 We start
拿药物注射进… with injections into the lig...
膝关节韧带 Ligamenta patellae.
让膝关节韧带瘫痪 Paralyzing the ligaments of your kneecaps.
这样的话 膝关节就无法再伸展开来 So knee-extension is no longer possible.
把嘴唇和肛门 Your lips and anuses
分别沿着其边缘 划一个圆出来 are cut circular along the border
划的深度仅限皮肤和… between skin and mucosa, the muc...
皮肤粘膜 Mucous-cutaneous.
皮肤粘膜之间 Mucous-cutaneous zone.
然后我们合并 Then we combine
那些嘴唇和肛门处的圆口粘膜和皮肤部分 those circular mucosa and skin parts of anus and mouth
这样就完成了人体蜈蚣消化系统的连接 creating a human centipede connected via your gastric systems.
先生们 Gentlemen.
开始动手吧 Put them to sleep.
对了 你对那些 By the way, what are your plans
垃圾终身犯和人渣死囚要干什么？ for the life sentenced and death row prisoners?
到时候就知道了 小八卦 Wait and wonder, peepheart.
医生 怎么样了？ How's it going, doc?
一切都在按计划进行 五支外科手术团队 Right on schedule, five surgical teams
正在马不停蹄 working round the clock.
每三个犯人 Those teams creating centipede segments
组成一个蜈蚣段 完成后 就会被带去 of three prisoners each, which are then taken outside
外面搭建的帐篷医院 to the hospital tents
然后再把它们缝接起来 and then they are sewn into the final
来组成人体蜈蚣的整体 larger human centipede chain.
真是太棒了 医生 Marvelous, doc.
是您的光临 造就了这一切 Since I have you here...
你想怎么处置这个犯人？ what do you want to do with this prisoner?
他有克罗恩病 He has Crohn's disease.
克罗恩病是什么鸡巴东西？ What the fuck is Crohn's disease?
这是一种炎症性肠病 It's an inflammatory bowel disorder.
他一直在拉肚子 The prisoner has constant diarrhea.
让谁来享受一下飞流直下三千尺的感觉呢？ Who'll kiss his ass?
当然是我们帅气的 Our awesome...
纹身婊 tattoo wasp!
这个白皮肛交婊 The white, anal sexing prostitute.
拜托 Please.
再给一次机会 One more chance.
请别把我缝进人体蜈蚣 please don't sew me into a human centipede.
求你了 I beg you.
我考虑下哦 Yeah yeah.
你的哀求 Your whining
让我更亢奋了 makes my dick even harder.
可惜你没复仇的机会了 Revenge is so sweet.
好好在梦里意淫你的复仇大计吧 Take it into your sleep.
我们有另一个问题 We have another problem at hand.
太恶心了 That's fuckin' gross!
我身上有个造口 I have a stoma
可让你不高兴了 and you have a problem.
别提我心里有多爽了 Thank God.
我现在终于明白 Now I finally discovered why they blessed me
为什么上天给了我一个造口 哈哈哈 with a lifetime stoma. Ha ha ha.
这家伙太讨人厌了 This guy is repulsive.
可能这是假的呢？ Maybe it's a fake.
永远不要相信墨西哥人 With Mexicans, you never know.
是真的 No fake.
没办法把他弄成蜈蚣节吗？ No way to integrate him, doc?
他的直肠被缝住了 没办法 His rectum is sewn shut, no.
那就把他处理了吧 Finish him off then.
抱歉 I'm sorry.
我一直都很配合你 But I have cooperated with you and I will...
我也会继续配合你 continue to cooperate.
但你不能让我杀人啊 But I will not just kill prisoners!
我肏你妈的 Jesus Christ.
你这个怂苞 Chicken shit!
抱歉 Excuse me.
我还有事要做 I have work to do.
朋友 你没存在的价值了 My friend, you don't match.
我不得不杀了你 I have to kill you.
我就是要针对你 Take it fucking personally!
拿好我的枪 Take my gun.
去洗了 重新上油 记得还要消毒 Wash it, oil it, disinfect it.
如果我再闻到哪怕一丁点这味道 If I sniff the tiniest stink,
你就等着吃枪子吧 you'll suck a bullet out of it.
你又要怎么处置他呢？ And what do you want to do with him?
我受够这些呆瓜了 I am sick and tired of your vegetables.
你搞什么鸡巴 What the fuck!
狱长 我们能去见见黛熙了吗？ Please, sir, can we go and see Daisy now?
看呐 Just look at her.
她是这里唯一甜美的存在 She is the only beautiful and sweet thing about this place.
应该把她送到正规医院去治疗 I think she should be treated in a regular hospital.
不用了 No.
我要甩了这逼 I want my cock socket close.
天呐 这种被毒打的女人 Beaten up women
简直让我鸡饿难耐 make me so horny.
拜托 比尔 别这样 Please, Bill, don't.
你真的假的？ Jesus Christ.
求你了 I beg you.
我爱她 I...I love her.
你这样子连充气娃娃看到了都直接干瘪了好么？ Even the corpse of a spastic would turn you down.
滚开 Fuck off!
我会让你在昏迷的时候也潮吹的 I'll make you squirt even in a coma.
好了 都搞定了 Alright, we're all done.
干得好 Good job.
我要你确保 I want you to make sure
那个要来废了我们的共匪州长到了这儿的时候 that the world premiere of the first human-prison centipede
世界上第一只人犯蜈蚣首次亮相的事宜 is guaranteed to take place the moment
就都已经安排妥当 our communist governor appears at the gate to destroy us.
还剩 Well, there is only
16个左右的犯人 16 more prisoners left
待处理 to undergo the procedure.
在那之后 人犯蜈蚣 After that the human-prison centipede
就大功告成了 will be finally complete
完全按时完成 且都控制在预算之内 on time and under budget.
太不可思议了 They did their magic.
感谢来自非洲的神力 Thank God for Africa!
感谢来自阴蒂的关怀 Thank God for female circumcision!
我们来一次排练 Private rehearsal!
我们来模拟下 我们那面瘫州长 Let's hear what our zombie governor
会说些什么 will have to say.
请允许我 为您献上 May I offer you a genuine
多明尼加共和国的顶级雪茄 Dominican Republic cigar?
我只抽古巴雪茄 I only smoke Cuban cigars
那是世界上最好的 best in the world.
哦不不不 我跟你开玩笑呢 No! Just kidding.
在见证你那奇迹般的 After having seen the miracle
人犯蜈蚣之后 of the first human-prison centipede
我再也不会碰 I'll never again touch
古巴的共匪雪茄了 a communistic cigar from Cuba
我这么做 都是因为你啊 威廉·柏斯先生 because you, Sir William Boss
你是美国的新英雄 you are the new American hero.
你是名人堂里与乔治·帕顿 You are in the Hall of Fame with George Patton,
尼尔·阿姆斯特朗和穆罕默德·阿里 相齐名的人物 Neil Armstrong and Muhammad Ali.
真是太感谢你了 Thanks to you.
我们的伟大民族 Our glorious nation
再次向世界 will be the example
做出了榜样 to the world again.
现在我们拥有了一个值得骄傲而又安全的 A proud, safe nation
几乎没有任何犯罪的国度 with hardly any crime.
这一切 都归功于你 威廉·柏斯先生 Your idea, Sir William
是你的高超才智造就了这一切 is of absolute genius.
你会被美利坚合众国总统 You will be honored personally
亲自授予你应得的荣誉 by the President of the United States of America.
实际上 这都是我会计 Actually, it was my accountant
杜怀特·巴特勒先生的 Mr. Dwight Butler
绝佳妙计 it was his brilliant idea.
是啊 Oh, yeah.
这一切都归功于你 You did it.
这一切都你他妈的… You fucking...
他妈的归功于你 fucking did it.
总统先生 Mr. President.
我是威廉·柏斯 叫我的小名比尔就行了 It's me, William Boss, call me Bill.
狱长 汤姆·希克斯先生找你 Sir, Mr. Tom Six is at the gate.
狱长？ Sir?
- 狱长？- 什么事？ - Sir? - What?
狱长？ Sir?
天呐 我真是太激动了 Oh, man, I am so excited
终于可以看到真正的实体嘴肛手术了 to see the real mouth to ass operation.
这样我就能向所有的怀疑者证明 他们都是错的 Prove all the skeptics wrong.
因为这必定是100%浑然一体 It is 100% medically accurate.
我马上会变得有钱又有名 I'm gonna be so rich and famous.
你可是欠我个大人情啊 先生 You owe me big time, mister.
我已经在吃我自己的大便了 I'm already eating my own shit.
我想做人犯蜈蚣的蜈蚣节 I want to be in the prison-human centipede.
慢着 我们不能 Wait, can't we use him
把他用于新闻发布会吗？ in the media conference?
我再也不要监狱里 I don't want anyone
一片恶臭了 liking this!
天呐 老兄 这你妈的 Oh, man, this is so wrong.
跟我来 Come on.
请洗一下 Wash, please.
洗一下 Wash.
没错 Yeah.
记号笔 Marker.
记号笔 Marker!
没错 Yeah.
我激动得手都在抖 My hands are shaking with excitement!
希克斯先生 你什么感觉？ What about you, Six?
亢奋了吗？ Having a hard-on?
看这儿 Look at this.
希克斯 我让你见识下 Six, I am gonna show you
人体蜈蚣的改良版 some Human Centipede improvement.
由比尔·柏斯原创 Copyright, Bill Boss.
跟我来 Follow me!
真是个胆小鬼 What a poor pussy, huh?
这他妈的什么东西？ What in the hell is this?
别急着看 小杜怀特 Wait and see, Dwighty.
别急着想 Wait and wonder
别急着看 Wait and see
小杜怀特先生 Mr. Dwighty
别急着想 Wait and wonder
别急着看 Wait and see
小杜怀特先生 Mr. Dwighty
不是吧 No.
上压120 下压80了 120/80.
太棒了 Perfect!
那蜈蚣简直完美 The pede looks perfect.
虽然最后几个犯人的伤口没完全愈合 The last few prisoners have just been attached
但刚连接后也没什么问题 and although the wounds are still fresh
你知道我在说什么吧 you get the idea!
完美 Perfect!
什么事？ What?
狱长 修斯州长过来了 Sir, Governor Hughes is on his way.
太好了 Perfect!
我们正在等那个贱逼 We are ready for the cunt!
杜怀特 Dwight!
我再说一遍 I repeat
你就是个贱逼 you are really the cunt!
你好 州长 Hello, sir.
你们两个傻逼 Why do you two assholes...
在那瞎鸡巴乐啥？ look so pleased with yourselves?
你们都他妈被开除了 The both of you are fucking fired.
几年前我就该这么做了 I should have done it years ago.
所有问题都已成历史 州长 All problems are history, sir.
我采纳了你的建议 I took your advice.
我学习了你个性鲜明的风格 I've learned from your strong personality.
你是超一流的领导者 You are the ultimate leader.
你是我学习的对象 You are my role model.
而现在 犯人们 And now the prisoners
都像是顺从的奴隶一样 are like obedient slaves
会乞求宽恕 begging for mercy.
我让他们都跪着了 I got them down on their knees.
是真的跪着了 Literally.
你上一次来访 让我 Your last visit inspired me
萌生了一个 to such an extend
超棒的主意 a brilliant idea!
你来看一下就知道了 I'll show you the result
比说破嘴皮子更有用 that tells more than a thousand words.
最后一批是刚连接好的 The last ones have just been attached.
所以 是时候让你看看了 So it is show time.
连接？ Attached?
车走连？手妾接？连接？ A-T-T-A-C-H-E-D, attached?
- 是啊 - 这什么意思？ - Yes. - What does that mean?
等着看吧 Wait and see.
你说了一堆屁话 嘴都比你的屁眼臭了吧 You talk so much shit, your ass must get jealous.
那真是太好了 州长 我喜欢这样 Great, governor, I love that.
这他妈是什么东西？ What the hell is this?
这个黑鬼 The black panther
是这整体的领头 made it to the lead!
后面这一长条人道主义食道系统 This burger-killer is feeding
都是从这汉堡王开始喂过去的 the whole humanitarian system behind him.
别难过 Don't cry.
明天你就能吃到汉堡了 Tomorrow, you'll get your hamburgers.
为什么？ Why?
因为他喜欢垃圾食品啊 Because he loves junk food.
我不是问这个 No, no, I don't mean that.
我是说 I mean, what...
这是什么？ What is this?
杜怀特 Dwight...
把我的创意告诉州长 tell the governor my vision!
这个哭丧的黑鬼 And this black whiner here
就应该把他放到中间段去 has to become a middle piece.
肏他妈的 Fuck!
听我说 州长 Well, sir
国内每年有超过500亿的资金 用在了劳教上 more than 50 billion dollars a year are spend on corrections.
然而超过十分之四的犯人 Yet more than 4 in 10 offenders nationwide
释放不满三年 又重回监狱了 return to prison within three years of their release.
尽管这些都大量增加了国家的财政支出 This, despite a massive increase in state expenditure.
混蛋 Shit!
但是 再也不会有这种情况发生了 But, not anymore.
这是个人犯蜈蚣 This human-prison centipede
它将显著减少犯罪 will reduce crime dramatically.
它将对任何 It will be a deterrent to anyone
企图犯罪的人起到威慑作用 considering a career in crime
而且再也不会有惯犯出现 and no more recidivism.
喂他吃下去 Feed him!
他们正在消化 Digestion in progress!
而且 这些食物都不是清真的 No, it's not halal
也不是犹太认证的 it's not kosher!
一个犹太人在一个穆斯林的后面 A Jew behind a Muslim
一个慕斯林又在一个犹太人的后面 a Muslim behind a Jew!
一个种族主义白人在一个墨西哥人后面 A Republican behind a Mexican
一个被打瘸的人在一个暴力份子后面 a crip behind a blood.
俗话说的好 世界和平 "Peace on earth
事随人愿 good will to men."
我的天呐 Oh, my God.
这太过了 This is too much.
比尔·柏斯 Bill Boss...
这不是你的秘书吗？ isn't that your secretary?
这是… That's, uh...
这只是一个短暂的… only a short, uh...
异性测试 gender-test!
跟我来 州长 Come on, sir!
杜怀特 Dwight!
跟我们亲爱的州长 Tell our beloved governor
说说节约资金的事儿 about the money savings!
资金将能节省数十亿元 The savings would be in the billions!
我们可以在监狱职工上 We can make savings on prison staff
食物上 饮料上 food and drinks.
书籍上 电视上和住房上 都省下来 On books and television, housing.
连牢房门栏我们都用不着了 Heck, we don't even need fences no more.
我们甚至还能省更多钱 We can even save more money
如果把他们连接成一个圈的话 if we attach them in a circle
就会像一台永动机 like a perpetuum mobile.
他们的粪便永远来回循环 Feces going round and round.
食物也都不用供给了 Food isn't needed anymore.
只要注射廉价的水和液态维生素就行了 Only cheap liquid and vitamin injections.
省下来的钱 可以用于学校 And that money could be spent on schools
医院 and the hospitals
疗养院 and nursing homes
以及修路 and road improvements.
事实上 随便你想用在哪 Whatever you want.
这样的话 纳税人 也会更支持你 And the tax payers, they'll love you for it.
他的肛门不是很干净 His anus is not very clean!
我的监狱里容不得半点瑕疵 I want perfection in my penitentiary!
囚犯需要的是一个舒适干净的环境 知道吗？ Inmates shall feel well and clean, understand?
擦干净 Wipe it!
我很抱歉 I apologize.
事情在刚开始的时候 不会总是完美的嘛 In the beginning things are not always perfect.
跟我来 Please follow me
去看看另一个有趣的东西 for another interesting insight.
- 我的天呐 - 哈哈 - Oh, my God. - Yeah.
这就是人体毛毛虫 The human caterpillar!
专为终身犯 For the lifetime convicts
以及死囚设计 and our friends on death row.
这难道… Now...
不就是一种威慑吗？ is that a deterrent?
这个人 This man...
他的刑期已经满了 has just finished his sentence...
也已经体验过 and already checked out
人犯蜈蚣了 of the centipede chain.
正准备回家呢 Ready to go home.
在他身上留下的 All what is left
就只有少许疤痕 are a few little scars
在他嘴巴和肛门周围 around his mouth and anus.
还有一个更大好处就是 Another big advantage
别人可以看到他的那些疤痕 because other people can see by these little stigmas
就知道他以前是人犯蜈蚣的一部分 that he was integrated in a prison centipede.
这又是一个让人畏惧的东西 不是吗？ Another huge deterrent, right?
你还好吗？ How are you doing?
朋友 祝你好运 Good luck, my friend.
别再犯事了哦 Stay clean!
看到没？成功了 You see? It really works.
州长 你怎么想的呢？ What do you think, sir?
这… This...
这侵犯了人权 this is a violation of human rights.
也彻底违背了执业伦理 It's certainly a violation of federal ethics!
天呐 我完蛋了 Oh, God, I am fucked.
你们这两个疯了的变态 会被判死刑的 You insane freaks will get the death penalty for this.
州长 你说的完全没错 Sir, you're dead right.
但事实上 这都是巴特勒先生… But in fact, it was Mr. But...
这太越界 太过份了 This is heights. This is too much.
这太过份了 This is too much.
他一点都不买账啊 You got the wrong man!
肏 Fuck!
别 别开枪 Please, don't.
真是一个极其 What an epic
光荣的时刻啊 不是吗？ glorious moment, huh?
你觉得我什么时候可以开始 When do you think we can start
领导全国的外科手术团队了？ the national surgical campaign
我已经他妈的迫不及待了 'cause I am so fucking ready.
怎么了？ What is the matter?
先生们 Gentlemen...
国家需要的就是这个 this is exactly what America needs.
这个甚至可能会让我当上总统 This may even get me elected president.
你说服了我 You've convinced me.
这真是天才之作 It's genius.
不要再改动任何一处了 Don't change a goddamn thing.
我在华盛顿的朋友们 My pals in DC...
他们肯定会觉得难以置信 they won't believe their near-sighted eyeballs.
没错 这是我的主意 Yep, my idea!
你 You are...
绝对没错 杜怀特 absolutely right, Dwight.
你简直是个天才 You're indeed a genius.
是你想出来的主意 You came up with the idea.
原创非你莫属 You deserve every credit.
来抱一下 杜怀特 Give me a hug, Dwighty!