1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:05,640 This programme contains some strong language 2 00:00:05,640 --> 00:00:06,960 Hello. Hello! 3 00:00:06,960 --> 00:00:11,080 Good evening. Hi. I'm Alan Partridge, and talking is what I do. 4 00:00:11,080 --> 00:00:14,240 It's sustained a career that's taken in TV, radio, podcasting, 5 00:00:14,240 --> 00:00:18,680 things on Sky and, when I parted ways with the BBC in 2022, 6 00:00:18,680 --> 00:00:21,040 a stint doing corporate presenting work 7 00:00:21,040 --> 00:00:24,200 for one of the most forward-looking governments in the world. 8 00:00:26,680 --> 00:00:29,880 I'm here to tell you about a very special product - 9 00:00:29,880 --> 00:00:33,280 one that flows from the teat of this wonderful beast. 10 00:00:33,280 --> 00:00:36,120 The glorious Kingdom of Saudi Arabia enjoys 11 00:00:36,120 --> 00:00:40,080 a thriving camel-milk sector, with products including milk, 12 00:00:40,080 --> 00:00:44,160 cheese, yoghurt, gelato, laban, and other derivatives. 13 00:00:44,160 --> 00:00:48,040 I've tried them all, and I can tell you, they really are delicious. 14 00:00:48,040 --> 00:00:49,680 Cheers! 15 00:00:51,640 --> 00:00:52,760 Urgh! 16 00:00:52,760 --> 00:00:54,080 That kind of thing? Go again? 17 00:00:54,080 --> 00:00:56,600 I'll do as many as you like until I have pleased you. 18 00:00:56,600 --> 00:00:59,000 I spent 12 months in Saudi, fronting everything 19 00:00:59,000 --> 00:01:00,960 from Happy Birthday Crown Prince, 20 00:01:00,960 --> 00:01:03,200 to Today at the Riyadh Stock Exchange. 21 00:01:03,200 --> 00:01:05,760 But far from selling my mouth to the highest bidder, 22 00:01:05,760 --> 00:01:08,440 I talk because it makes me feel good... 23 00:01:08,440 --> 00:01:10,040 ..which makes me wonder - 24 00:01:10,040 --> 00:01:13,400 could talking be the key to better mental health? 25 00:01:13,400 --> 00:01:14,520 Welcome to... 26 00:01:19,000 --> 00:01:20,520 How are you? 27 00:01:22,920 --> 00:01:25,320 The final, then, of the Year 9 200m. 28 00:01:25,320 --> 00:01:28,120 Naismith, Velacott, St John-Atwell, 29 00:01:28,120 --> 00:01:30,680 Wu and Douglas-Hyde. 30 00:01:30,680 --> 00:01:33,800 In this series, I'm exploring the mental health of the nation 31 00:01:33,800 --> 00:01:37,680 in association with Flench & Son Tanning Centres. 32 00:01:37,680 --> 00:01:41,240 Today, I'm lending my commentary skills to the annual sports gala 33 00:01:41,240 --> 00:01:43,120 at All Hallows School, in Norfolk. 34 00:01:43,120 --> 00:01:46,040 The boarders here come from a long line of stiff upper lips 35 00:01:46,040 --> 00:01:49,400 and I'm wondering, has not talking about their problems 36 00:01:49,400 --> 00:01:51,280 ever done them any harm? 37 00:01:51,280 --> 00:01:52,720 Good to see a few handshakes. 38 00:01:52,720 --> 00:01:55,080 The firm grip of beautifully brought-up boys. 39 00:01:55,080 --> 00:01:57,880 When they take their marks, of course, the conviviality ends. 40 00:01:57,880 --> 00:02:00,880 The school motto, - triumphans et invictus - 41 00:02:00,880 --> 00:02:02,280 never been more pertinent. 42 00:02:02,280 --> 00:02:05,400 Latin for triumphant and unconquered, which some see as 43 00:02:05,400 --> 00:02:08,840 a bit hateful, but you don't produce the leaders of tomorrow 44 00:02:08,840 --> 00:02:12,840 with mottos about being kind and helpful to people you don't know. 45 00:02:12,840 --> 00:02:16,800 And they take their marks, the Year 9 200m dash, 46 00:02:16,800 --> 00:02:18,720 sponsored by Hibiscus Wealth Management, 47 00:02:18,720 --> 00:02:21,320 shaping dreams, securing futures. 48 00:02:21,320 --> 00:02:23,560 Lesser schools use a klaxon. 49 00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:26,800 Here, of course, we're allowed to use a starting pistol, 50 00:02:26,800 --> 00:02:29,800 safe in the knowledge that it won't fall into the wrong hands 51 00:02:29,800 --> 00:02:31,440 and be used to hold up a post office. 52 00:02:31,440 --> 00:02:33,400 GUNSHOT And they're off! These boys racing 53 00:02:33,400 --> 00:02:35,360 with each other, but they've already won the race of life by going to 54 00:02:35,360 --> 00:02:36,960 a fee-paying school. Douglas-Hyde in the lead, 55 00:02:36,960 --> 00:02:39,480 Douglas-Hyde looks about 25 years old, obviously post-pubescent, 56 00:02:39,480 --> 00:02:41,440 nothing wrong with that. Douglas-Hyde wins the race! 57 00:02:41,440 --> 00:02:44,920 For the boys, it's a chance to both strive for sporting excellence 58 00:02:44,920 --> 00:02:48,640 and glimpse parents they've not seen since the Easter holidays. 59 00:02:48,640 --> 00:02:50,960 Parents, who've worked up a thirst, 60 00:02:50,960 --> 00:02:53,040 do pay a visit to the champagne tent 61 00:02:53,040 --> 00:02:55,760 sponsored by Jupiter Asset Management, 62 00:02:55,760 --> 00:02:59,080 recruiting the best and brightest for a better tomorrow. 63 00:02:59,080 --> 00:03:02,560 And anyone who thinks that sounds a bit stuffy, 64 00:03:02,560 --> 00:03:05,400 let me tell you, there'll also be a live performance 65 00:03:05,400 --> 00:03:09,560 from five-piece school rock band Riot Shield. 66 00:03:09,560 --> 00:03:13,600 And they'll be performing in the Benjamin Britten Music Centre. 67 00:03:13,600 --> 00:03:16,680 Some see boarding school as a way of subcontracting parenting 68 00:03:16,680 --> 00:03:19,160 to strangers, and whilst that's literally true, 69 00:03:19,160 --> 00:03:20,520 what would you rather have? 70 00:03:20,520 --> 00:03:22,360 A mopey Joe traipsing round the house, 71 00:03:22,360 --> 00:03:25,600 leaving the lids off jars, or a well-connected asset 72 00:03:25,600 --> 00:03:29,400 who adds value to the family? Ask them what they feel 73 00:03:29,400 --> 00:03:31,440 and I'm sure they'll say that feelings are something to lock 74 00:03:31,440 --> 00:03:34,880 in a tiffin box under the bed, along with biscuits and letters from Mum. 75 00:03:34,880 --> 00:03:38,040 No, they do just fine with their stiff upper lips. 76 00:03:38,040 --> 00:03:40,640 Our country's future is safe in the hands of 77 00:03:40,640 --> 00:03:42,680 these wonderful fee-paying boys. 78 00:03:42,680 --> 00:03:43,720 Cheers! 79 00:03:43,720 --> 00:03:45,120 ALL: Cheers! 80 00:03:45,120 --> 00:03:48,280 And how dare their parents be made to pay VAT. 81 00:03:50,600 --> 00:03:52,400 Personally, I love to talk, 82 00:03:52,400 --> 00:03:55,480 whether it's to an audience of millions, or an audience of one. 83 00:03:55,480 --> 00:03:58,560 Here I am recording personalised messages for fans. 84 00:03:58,560 --> 00:04:00,960 Happy 49th birthday, Penelope. 85 00:04:00,960 --> 00:04:04,520 What a day! To get your decree nisi from your divorce 86 00:04:04,520 --> 00:04:07,840 AND planning permission for your barn conversion on the same day - 87 00:04:07,840 --> 00:04:09,000 got to be sweet! 88 00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:10,920 Hello, Sheila. I know you can't be here, 89 00:04:10,920 --> 00:04:12,840 but Brian's told me to show you the chickens. 90 00:04:12,840 --> 00:04:15,120 There's a ginger one, pecking at my toe. 91 00:04:15,120 --> 00:04:17,720 Look at that. There's a sort of tan one. 92 00:04:17,720 --> 00:04:19,880 OK, that's it. 93 00:04:21,560 --> 00:04:22,880 100 quid. 94 00:04:22,880 --> 00:04:26,120 It's a nice little earner, but what's interesting is how willing 95 00:04:26,120 --> 00:04:30,440 people are to talk about almost any subject, apart from mental health. 96 00:04:30,440 --> 00:04:32,280 So, what does the data say? 97 00:04:32,280 --> 00:04:35,880 In a fascinating study by Peartree Analytics, when asked 98 00:04:35,880 --> 00:04:40,080 if they found it hard to talk about their problems, 75% said they did. 99 00:04:40,080 --> 00:04:43,640 12% said they didn't know, which is a pointless answer. 100 00:04:43,640 --> 00:04:46,440 And Norfolk is more affected than most, 101 00:04:46,440 --> 00:04:49,120 with farmers feeling the least able to open up. 102 00:04:49,120 --> 00:04:52,600 But then who'd want to spend an afternoon talking to a farmer? 103 00:04:54,520 --> 00:04:58,480 And yet the view among psychologists is that only if we learn to talk 104 00:04:58,480 --> 00:05:01,400 can we address the mental health problems that dog us. 105 00:05:01,400 --> 00:05:03,720 To learn more, I've come to Norwich Cathedral. 106 00:05:03,720 --> 00:05:05,640 I adore Norwich Cathedral. 107 00:05:05,640 --> 00:05:08,040 The dean rarely grants permission to film here, 108 00:05:08,040 --> 00:05:10,360 but I've been given special dispensation because I'm both 109 00:05:10,360 --> 00:05:13,600 a proud patron and the voice of the visitors' audio guide. 110 00:05:13,600 --> 00:05:15,160 A far cry from modern churches, 111 00:05:15,160 --> 00:05:17,680 which look more like shoe shops or spaceships. 112 00:05:17,680 --> 00:05:20,240 One of several local attractions to feature my voice... 113 00:05:20,240 --> 00:05:21,640 Get out of the way! 114 00:05:21,640 --> 00:05:25,320 Including a fleet of grocery vans, and the lift at Norwich Library. 115 00:05:25,320 --> 00:05:26,400 Second floor. 116 00:05:26,400 --> 00:05:27,440 Which went less well, 117 00:05:27,440 --> 00:05:29,560 due to a milkshake repeating on me in the booth. 118 00:05:29,560 --> 00:05:30,680 Fourth fl-fl-floor. 119 00:05:30,680 --> 00:05:33,200 But I am not here to educate sightseers. 120 00:05:33,200 --> 00:05:36,560 I've come here to learn about the language of mental health 121 00:05:36,560 --> 00:05:40,360 and, in Dr Marion Boyle, I'll be talking to an actual expert, 122 00:05:40,360 --> 00:05:43,680 rather than just a confident person with a podcast. 123 00:05:43,680 --> 00:05:45,800 Dr Marion. Thanks so much for... 124 00:05:45,800 --> 00:05:48,800 Shush! You're glaring at me, but I'm not being rude, 125 00:05:48,800 --> 00:05:51,240 because that's the name of your new book, isn't it? 126 00:05:51,240 --> 00:05:55,320 That's right. It's called Shush - Finding Placid Amid The Noise 127 00:05:55,320 --> 00:05:58,560 And The Haste, and it's really just an exploration into 128 00:05:58,560 --> 00:06:00,760 our mental health and our wellbeing. 129 00:06:00,760 --> 00:06:03,320 Yes, because mental health can mean different things to different 130 00:06:03,320 --> 00:06:05,720 people, can't it? From anxiety disorders, right through to 131 00:06:05,720 --> 00:06:08,120 dissociative conditions, such as paranoid schizophrenia. 132 00:06:08,120 --> 00:06:09,480 Well, that's a very good way of putting it. 133 00:06:09,480 --> 00:06:10,920 Thank you. I got it off the internet. 134 00:06:10,920 --> 00:06:12,760 We should be looking after our minds 135 00:06:12,760 --> 00:06:15,560 in the same way that we look after our bodies. 136 00:06:15,560 --> 00:06:18,040 If you have indigestion, you can pop a Rennie. 137 00:06:18,040 --> 00:06:22,160 But when it comes to this, you can't just go to the bathroom cabinet, 138 00:06:22,160 --> 00:06:24,960 take out some mental cream and rub it on your head. 139 00:06:24,960 --> 00:06:28,320 Well, no, of course, but what we do have is antidepressants. 140 00:06:28,320 --> 00:06:30,280 Oh, yeah, I'd forgotten about those. Are they any good? 141 00:06:30,280 --> 00:06:32,680 Well, they can be, but of course you do make a very good point... 142 00:06:32,680 --> 00:06:36,560 Cheers. ..which is that, up until recently, some of the language 143 00:06:36,560 --> 00:06:39,600 surrounding mental health and wellbeing hasn't always been 144 00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:42,720 very helpful. What were once medical terms are now words you would only 145 00:06:42,720 --> 00:06:46,760 ever use to a learner driver - imbecile, lunatic. 146 00:06:46,760 --> 00:06:48,120 And up until very recently, 147 00:06:48,120 --> 00:06:51,440 we used to use the word idiot as a clinical term. 148 00:06:51,440 --> 00:06:55,080 I mean, it's horrific to think that a GP could've called you 149 00:06:55,080 --> 00:06:58,560 into his surgery, sat you down and said, "The results have come back. 150 00:06:58,560 --> 00:07:02,240 "They're not what we would've hoped. There's no easy way of putting this, 151 00:07:02,240 --> 00:07:04,880 "but I'm sorry to have to tell you, you're an idiot." 152 00:07:04,880 --> 00:07:08,160 Of course, and that's why the terminology is so, so important. 153 00:07:08,160 --> 00:07:13,400 OCD, ADHD, bipolar, and it is just to get rid of that stigma, 154 00:07:13,400 --> 00:07:15,200 if you like. Absolutely, and not before time. 155 00:07:15,200 --> 00:07:19,400 Time was when OCD would be houseproud or fussy, 156 00:07:19,400 --> 00:07:22,120 ADHD would've been ants in the pants, 157 00:07:22,120 --> 00:07:25,000 bipolar disorder would've been moody. 158 00:07:25,000 --> 00:07:27,960 When my assistant has her panic attacks, I think 159 00:07:27,960 --> 00:07:31,000 most people would say she's flapping or in a tizz. 160 00:07:32,080 --> 00:07:34,200 Do you mind me saying that you don't blink? 161 00:07:35,560 --> 00:07:38,360 It had been a useful meeting with the doctor, even though 162 00:07:38,360 --> 00:07:40,640 I later found out her book was self-published 163 00:07:40,640 --> 00:07:44,080 and she'd got her degree from the University of Central Lancashire. 164 00:07:45,800 --> 00:07:47,360 How ARE you? 165 00:07:47,360 --> 00:07:49,480 ALAN QUACKS 166 00:07:49,480 --> 00:07:51,040 So, that's the theory. 167 00:07:51,040 --> 00:07:54,240 But does talking really help us surmount problems? 168 00:07:54,240 --> 00:07:58,040 Time to put it to the test in a familiar high-stress situation. 169 00:07:58,040 --> 00:08:00,840 What you're about to watch is a controlled experiment. 170 00:08:00,840 --> 00:08:02,440 I'm with my assistant. 171 00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:04,480 She's an unskilled worker in her early 70s 172 00:08:04,480 --> 00:08:07,280 in the middle-to-low income bracket. 173 00:08:07,280 --> 00:08:10,280 She's of sound mind, in good health, and not under the influence 174 00:08:10,280 --> 00:08:14,440 of any prescription medication, apart from something for IBS 175 00:08:14,440 --> 00:08:18,400 and cod liver oil as a rearguard action against arthritis. 176 00:08:18,400 --> 00:08:19,880 But nothing for anxiety. 177 00:08:19,880 --> 00:08:23,080 We both agreed we wouldn't want to compromise her concentration. 178 00:08:26,800 --> 00:08:28,120 Relax your jaw. 179 00:08:28,120 --> 00:08:29,800 My assistant, whose driving style is 180 00:08:29,800 --> 00:08:31,920 best described as flustered hesitancy, 181 00:08:31,920 --> 00:08:34,200 will be taking the short drive into Norwich twice. 182 00:08:34,200 --> 00:08:35,400 Down into second. 183 00:08:35,400 --> 00:08:36,440 The first with me talking 184 00:08:36,440 --> 00:08:38,680 about the flaws in her driving. The second in silence. 185 00:08:38,680 --> 00:08:39,960 Don't clench your teeth. 186 00:08:41,200 --> 00:08:43,000 Which will prove fastest? 187 00:08:46,840 --> 00:08:48,520 Easy, easy, tiger. 188 00:08:49,880 --> 00:08:51,600 Yeah, that wasn't bad, was it? Easy. 189 00:08:51,600 --> 00:08:54,040 You're a little too heavy on the throttle. 190 00:08:54,040 --> 00:08:55,800 A little too heavy on the brake. 191 00:08:55,800 --> 00:08:58,080 You do suffer from pedal panic, Lynn. 192 00:08:58,080 --> 00:09:00,800 That's the thing. Remember, it's a three-pedal dance. 193 00:09:00,800 --> 00:09:02,640 Be in harmony with the car. 194 00:09:02,640 --> 00:09:04,440 The Japanese have a word for it, 195 00:09:04,440 --> 00:09:06,280 but I can't remember what it is. 196 00:09:06,280 --> 00:09:09,640 You can pop her into third, if you want. 197 00:09:09,640 --> 00:09:10,760 I was just doing that. 198 00:09:11,960 --> 00:09:14,600 You're panicking, Lynn. Breathe. 199 00:09:14,600 --> 00:09:16,000 You're allowed to breathe. 200 00:09:17,080 --> 00:09:18,200 Wrong lane. 201 00:09:18,200 --> 00:09:21,840 Sometimes I feel like I'm a driving examiner, you know. 202 00:09:21,840 --> 00:09:24,640 When I want you to do an emergency stop, I will tap the dash... 203 00:09:24,640 --> 00:09:27,480 ALAN TAPS THE DASHBOARD What the BLEEP are you doing?! 204 00:09:27,480 --> 00:09:30,240 After a frank exchange of views and a muttered apology, 205 00:09:30,240 --> 00:09:32,480 we continued the drive and reached Norwich. 206 00:09:35,960 --> 00:09:38,360 This time, rather than expressing myself, 207 00:09:38,360 --> 00:09:41,080 I'll be keeping silent and comparing the difference. 208 00:09:42,560 --> 00:09:45,960 And while the atmosphere was markedly more frosty, 209 00:09:45,960 --> 00:09:48,320 what would it mean for her time? 210 00:09:48,320 --> 00:09:49,720 Oh, that's interesting. 211 00:09:49,720 --> 00:09:52,280 The drive had been quicker than when I'd been providing guidance, 212 00:09:52,280 --> 00:09:55,400 but that may have been just her trying to make a point, 213 00:09:55,400 --> 00:09:57,160 which sadly voids the experiment. 214 00:09:57,160 --> 00:10:00,800 DISTORTED: What the fuck are you doing?! 215 00:10:06,600 --> 00:10:11,000 In 2023, I sunk a large portion of my savings into a start-up 216 00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:13,280 that generates AI video. 217 00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:17,760 Yet, prompted to show Alan Partridge 218 00:10:17,760 --> 00:10:19,600 in a yurt with Carol Vorderman, 219 00:10:19,600 --> 00:10:22,960 or Alan Partridge flies a jetpack over Norfolk, 220 00:10:22,960 --> 00:10:25,080 the results are incredibly poor. 221 00:10:25,080 --> 00:10:28,080 The company, whose software struggles to animate movement 222 00:10:28,080 --> 00:10:31,720 and is unable to do hands, was named "one to watch" in the business pages 223 00:10:31,720 --> 00:10:33,480 of the Norwich Gazette. 224 00:10:33,480 --> 00:10:37,080 But AI is a useful metaphor for what each of us do 225 00:10:37,080 --> 00:10:40,680 in our own lives, artificially generating different versions 226 00:10:40,680 --> 00:10:43,280 of ourselves to pass off as the real thing. 227 00:10:43,280 --> 00:10:45,440 There's business Alan, tough Alan, 228 00:10:45,440 --> 00:10:47,600 sexy Alan, grandad Alan, hissy Alan, 229 00:10:47,600 --> 00:10:50,160 beefy Alan, cool Alan, Top Gun Alan, jet-set Alan, cardigan Alan, 230 00:10:50,160 --> 00:10:55,160 chef Alan, judo Alan, Alan, Alan, Alan, Alan, Alan... 231 00:10:55,160 --> 00:10:57,200 And there are more Alans. 232 00:10:57,200 --> 00:10:58,480 Knackered. 233 00:10:58,480 --> 00:11:00,880 At home, with my neighbour and lover Katrina, 234 00:11:00,880 --> 00:11:02,640 I tend to be laid-back Alan, 235 00:11:02,640 --> 00:11:05,600 shooting the breeze at my tripedal breakfast bar 236 00:11:05,600 --> 00:11:07,560 and helping out where I can. 237 00:11:07,560 --> 00:11:10,400 If you're filling your car up later, can you do mine as well? 238 00:11:10,400 --> 00:11:13,080 You want me to drive my car to a petrol station 239 00:11:13,080 --> 00:11:15,080 and then do the same with yours? 240 00:11:15,080 --> 00:11:18,080 Might as well. Yeah, yeah, I'm there anyway, aren't I? 241 00:11:18,080 --> 00:11:20,080 But you'll have to go back twice. Leave it. 242 00:11:20,080 --> 00:11:22,680 But to get to the heart of who we really are, 243 00:11:22,680 --> 00:11:26,400 experts say the key is to talk about our feelings. 244 00:11:26,400 --> 00:11:28,080 So, how do we do it? 245 00:11:28,080 --> 00:11:31,040 For taciturn, emotionally stunted people, 246 00:11:31,040 --> 00:11:34,160 e.g. from Eton or Scotland, 247 00:11:34,160 --> 00:11:37,280 speaking about your emotions can be a daunting experience. 248 00:11:37,280 --> 00:11:40,920 One useful exercise is to talk about something else, 249 00:11:40,920 --> 00:11:44,920 be it cookery, or soccer, or the Second World War. 250 00:11:44,920 --> 00:11:47,720 After time, you'll develop a muscle memory for chat, 251 00:11:47,720 --> 00:11:51,440 at which point you can jump off and tell people why you're so fed up. 252 00:11:51,440 --> 00:11:54,560 One man I know went from speaking about cathedrals 253 00:11:54,560 --> 00:11:57,040 to his erectile dysfunction in about four minutes, 254 00:11:57,040 --> 00:11:59,080 and that's the quickest I've seen it done. 255 00:11:59,080 --> 00:12:02,080 To try this idea out, I'm heading to a book group, 256 00:12:02,080 --> 00:12:04,000 although I've arrived slightly late 257 00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:06,880 because the woman now showing me in gave me the wrong postcode. 258 00:12:06,880 --> 00:12:09,160 Hello, everyone. Joining our group just for today... Hi. 259 00:12:09,160 --> 00:12:12,840 While men enjoy reading books, women enjoy talking about them. 260 00:12:12,840 --> 00:12:15,880 It's a sociable and collegiate way to boost their wellbeing, 261 00:12:15,880 --> 00:12:18,600 while finding out if they like the book they've just read. 262 00:12:18,600 --> 00:12:21,240 This week, Small Things Like These by Claire Keegan, 263 00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:24,680 no relation to Kevin, which I skim read in the car. 264 00:12:24,680 --> 00:12:26,720 She wrongfoots you though, doesn't she? 265 00:12:26,720 --> 00:12:31,040 Like, showing the brutality of the Magdalene laundries through 266 00:12:31,040 --> 00:12:35,760 the eyes of a man, I thought, "Hm, I'm not sure about that." 267 00:12:35,760 --> 00:12:37,200 Bit of a bold choice. 268 00:12:37,200 --> 00:12:38,360 Claire is bold. 269 00:12:38,360 --> 00:12:40,440 I did think there was a sweetness to it, though. 270 00:12:40,440 --> 00:12:42,440 The Christmas bit where they're decorating the... 271 00:12:42,440 --> 00:12:44,000 Tree. No, it's a cake. 272 00:12:44,000 --> 00:12:45,560 It is the cake. 273 00:12:45,560 --> 00:12:48,560 I just wanted to reach into the book and hug her. 274 00:12:48,560 --> 00:12:53,280 It felt like...Bridget Jones, but turbo-charged. 275 00:12:53,280 --> 00:12:56,720 Yeah. Probably what you meant to say is Bridget Jones 276 00:12:56,720 --> 00:12:59,240 but supercharged, rather than turbo-charged, 277 00:12:59,240 --> 00:13:02,080 because that way you eliminate the turbo lag, 278 00:13:02,080 --> 00:13:04,960 but I absolutely get the gist of what you ladies are trying to say. 279 00:13:04,960 --> 00:13:06,560 I know you're not a lady. 280 00:13:06,560 --> 00:13:09,080 You understood what I meant, didn't you? Yeah, turbo lag. 281 00:13:09,080 --> 00:13:11,280 Turbo lag, precisely, yeah. 282 00:13:11,280 --> 00:13:15,040 To my surprise, I found talking about books immensely enjoyable, 283 00:13:15,040 --> 00:13:17,240 and I soon found myself fully engaged, 284 00:13:17,240 --> 00:13:19,320 despite the fact that it had been a long day. 285 00:13:19,320 --> 00:13:21,080 I thought it was more of a novella than a novel... 286 00:13:21,080 --> 00:13:22,720 ALAN SNORES 287 00:13:21,080 --> 00:13:22,720 ..but all the same 288 00:13:22,720 --> 00:13:23,960 I didn't feel short-changed by the story. 289 00:13:23,960 --> 00:13:25,520 ALAN BREAKS WIND 290 00:13:23,960 --> 00:13:25,520 Pardon me. 291 00:13:25,520 --> 00:13:27,640 You're absolutely right there, Susan. I would agree. 292 00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:28,720 I felt it was... 293 00:13:28,720 --> 00:13:32,280 Well, these bookworms might look like they're just discussing novels, 294 00:13:32,280 --> 00:13:35,320 but a regular attendee will see a different dynamic at play, 295 00:13:35,320 --> 00:13:39,600 one in which Cynthia gets to flex the grey matter, which lies dormant 296 00:13:39,600 --> 00:13:43,840 when she's around her estate agent husband, and Susan gets to forget 297 00:13:43,840 --> 00:13:47,480 all about her drink-drive conviction in which a police horse died. 298 00:13:47,480 --> 00:13:49,520 And, yeah, she's doing fine. 299 00:13:52,120 --> 00:13:54,760 What are YOU doing in a woman's book group? 300 00:13:54,760 --> 00:13:57,040 Just having a read of this. It's a great book. 301 00:13:57,040 --> 00:14:01,280 Have you read it? Yeah. It's good. It's a good book. 302 00:14:01,280 --> 00:14:03,480 You? 303 00:14:03,480 --> 00:14:04,760 Um... 304 00:14:06,640 --> 00:14:07,800 ..nah. 305 00:14:09,440 --> 00:14:11,960 So, what are we going to read next week, do you think, guys? 306 00:14:11,960 --> 00:14:13,080 Do you have any suggestions? 307 00:14:13,080 --> 00:14:15,920 Yes. Ice Station Zebra by Alistair MacLean. 308 00:14:15,920 --> 00:14:19,600 It's about a Russian submarine with nuclear warheads 309 00:14:19,600 --> 00:14:23,120 hidden beneath the polar ice caps, and you just think, "That's crazy," 310 00:14:23,120 --> 00:14:28,400 but it was later discovered that there WAS a Soviet submarine 311 00:14:28,400 --> 00:14:31,440 hidden beneath the polar ice caps with nuclear warheads, 312 00:14:31,440 --> 00:14:35,320 and so you think, "Well, did Alistair MacLean predict the future? 313 00:14:35,320 --> 00:14:38,680 "Or did the Russians read Ice Station Zebra and think, 314 00:14:38,680 --> 00:14:41,240 "'Let's do... That's a good idea.'" 315 00:14:41,240 --> 00:14:43,400 But, er... 316 00:14:43,400 --> 00:14:47,520 ..when you think about how the Soviets nearly destroyed the world, 317 00:14:47,520 --> 00:14:49,320 it makes a shiver go down your spine. 318 00:14:49,320 --> 00:14:52,320 Does it make a shiver go down your women's spines? 319 00:14:52,320 --> 00:14:55,480 I relished the chance to talk, but the important thing about 320 00:14:55,480 --> 00:14:58,680 any social event is knowing just the right time to leave. 321 00:14:58,680 --> 00:14:59,920 You all right? 322 00:14:59,920 --> 00:15:01,360 SLURRED: Yeah, I just think, if you're going to run 323 00:15:01,360 --> 00:15:04,560 a book group, you have a moral duty to tell people you're going to 324 00:15:04,560 --> 00:15:07,800 provide white wine, so they don't turn up with an empty stomach. 325 00:15:07,800 --> 00:15:10,160 Or, you know, do...just do some sandwiches. 326 00:15:19,520 --> 00:15:21,360 But what if talking isn't the answer? 327 00:15:21,360 --> 00:15:24,120 What if the best way to process your feelings isn't to be 328 00:15:24,120 --> 00:15:26,880 grown-up about it, but to do the opposite? 329 00:15:26,880 --> 00:15:30,560 After all, children don't sit around talking about their feelings, 330 00:15:30,560 --> 00:15:32,840 yet you don't see depressed eight-year-olds 331 00:15:32,840 --> 00:15:35,120 staring at women in hotel bars. 332 00:15:35,120 --> 00:15:38,280 Instead, they play. 333 00:15:38,280 --> 00:15:41,480 To explore this further, I've come to the estate I grew up on, 334 00:15:41,480 --> 00:15:44,600 where childhood friend Jez Chaudry, who's thinking about getting 335 00:15:44,600 --> 00:15:47,160 a bigger house number, has agreed to spend the afternoon 336 00:15:47,160 --> 00:15:48,200 with me for the fee. 337 00:15:48,200 --> 00:15:50,560 Shall I come in? Shall I come in? Shall I come in? Great. 338 00:15:50,560 --> 00:15:52,760 Shall I come in? Yeah, if you want to. 339 00:15:52,760 --> 00:15:54,360 I asked you five times there. 340 00:15:54,360 --> 00:15:58,440 They say, "Show me a seven-year-old boy and I'll show you the man." 341 00:15:58,440 --> 00:16:01,600 Although there's got to be a better way of phrasing that. 342 00:16:01,600 --> 00:16:05,560 That man was me, and I wanted to rediscover him. 343 00:16:05,560 --> 00:16:09,600 And, so, we set off on vintage cycles, hired in an ironic way 344 00:16:09,600 --> 00:16:13,720 by Shoreditch millennials, but which we were able to enjoy at face value. 345 00:16:13,720 --> 00:16:15,760 I was keen to reminisce about the freedom 346 00:16:15,760 --> 00:16:18,440 and hijinks of our salad days but in the end couldn't 347 00:16:18,440 --> 00:16:21,880 because Jez wanted to tell me about how interesting his job was. 348 00:16:21,880 --> 00:16:24,040 I'm in digital marketing for Pfizer. 349 00:16:24,040 --> 00:16:25,960 Yeah, I love it. Yeah, I've got a great team. 350 00:16:25,960 --> 00:16:28,480 A licence to develop digital marketing strategy, 351 00:16:28,480 --> 00:16:29,800 but also individual campaigns. 352 00:16:29,800 --> 00:16:33,000 When he was a child, he wanted to be an astronaut. 353 00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:34,920 But maybe the happiness I experienced 354 00:16:34,920 --> 00:16:37,800 when I was seven exists only in my mind. 355 00:16:37,800 --> 00:16:40,040 In fact, life wasn't always rosy. 356 00:16:40,040 --> 00:16:42,840 I was punched on three occasions outside a chip shop 357 00:16:42,840 --> 00:16:44,680 by a 13-year-old girl. 358 00:16:44,680 --> 00:16:46,520 I think this is her now. 359 00:16:46,520 --> 00:16:48,160 Or this. 360 00:16:48,160 --> 00:16:51,560 Do you remember Mickey had stabilisers on his bike, 361 00:16:51,560 --> 00:16:55,640 even when he was 12? Softie, Mickey. 362 00:16:55,640 --> 00:16:57,560 Yeah. He still lives round here. 363 00:16:57,560 --> 00:16:58,960 Yeah? 364 00:16:58,960 --> 00:17:01,640 Yeah. So did Bill Pinsent. He's gone now. 365 00:17:01,640 --> 00:17:03,240 Quite a few of our class are gone now. 366 00:17:03,240 --> 00:17:05,440 Yeah. There was about six of them in a row. 367 00:17:05,440 --> 00:17:09,360 It was, er, cancer, cancer, stroke, 368 00:17:09,360 --> 00:17:11,560 cancer, suicide, choked. 369 00:17:11,560 --> 00:17:13,200 Yeah. 370 00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:16,120 I think Bill just fell over, didn't he? Oh, you heard about that? 371 00:17:16,120 --> 00:17:17,600 I was invited to the funeral, 372 00:17:17,600 --> 00:17:20,240 but it clashed with the National TV Awards, so... 373 00:17:20,240 --> 00:17:22,280 Wow, you were at the National TV Awards? 374 00:17:22,280 --> 00:17:24,040 No, I was just watching it on TV. 375 00:17:24,040 --> 00:17:27,440 But, you know, it's a shame cos he was a nice guy. 376 00:17:27,440 --> 00:17:29,960 Big heart. Yeah, big heart, big portions. 377 00:17:31,160 --> 00:17:34,080 Jez, do you ever look back on those days and think, you know, 378 00:17:34,080 --> 00:17:35,440 maybe we were happier then? 379 00:17:35,440 --> 00:17:36,920 Sometimes, yeah. 380 00:17:36,920 --> 00:17:39,760 Lying on grass where sunlight dapples, 381 00:17:39,760 --> 00:17:42,760 enjoying apples, and boys' grapples, 382 00:17:42,760 --> 00:17:45,240 on those forever afternoons. 383 00:17:45,240 --> 00:17:47,120 That's really nice. 384 00:17:47,120 --> 00:17:48,720 Graze-y knees and rose of cheek, 385 00:17:48,720 --> 00:17:51,800 we'd ride our bikes up to the creek, 386 00:17:51,800 --> 00:17:55,360 trousers short, but days so long, 387 00:17:55,360 --> 00:17:57,640 on those forever afternoons. 388 00:17:59,480 --> 00:18:02,320 Then Bill said, "Bye!" "But why?" we cry. 389 00:18:02,320 --> 00:18:04,560 "Tis late," Bill sighed. "But soon we'll ride 390 00:18:04,560 --> 00:18:07,200 "on another forever afternoon.' 391 00:18:07,200 --> 00:18:11,360 A few minutes more, oh, let's explore, till ten past four, 392 00:18:11,360 --> 00:18:14,600 when bums are sore, on this forever afternoon. 393 00:18:14,600 --> 00:18:17,560 And when next we came to call on Bill, 394 00:18:17,560 --> 00:18:20,920 his mother's eyes began to fill. 395 00:18:20,920 --> 00:18:23,040 "Where's Bill?" said I. 396 00:18:23,040 --> 00:18:25,280 She began to sigh. 397 00:18:25,280 --> 00:18:28,000 "Bill went off to die." 398 00:18:28,000 --> 00:18:29,800 "But why?" 399 00:18:29,800 --> 00:18:32,560 "Because 50 years went by." 400 00:18:32,560 --> 00:18:35,960 Oh, what we'd give to see Bill live. 401 00:18:35,960 --> 00:18:40,880 We'd knock on doors, then ride in fours, pedals without a cause, 402 00:18:40,880 --> 00:18:42,840 one more forever afternoon. 403 00:18:42,840 --> 00:18:45,680 Oh, it's shit, I don't know why I wrote it. 404 00:18:45,680 --> 00:18:46,960 You just going to leave that there? 405 00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:49,000 No, I'll pick it up. 406 00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:51,760 But no recreation of the good old days would be complete 407 00:18:51,760 --> 00:18:54,440 without our other childhood friend, Mickey Allsop. 408 00:18:54,440 --> 00:18:56,600 You all right? Yeah. I'm fine. 409 00:18:56,600 --> 00:18:57,880 Doing a wheelie. 410 00:18:57,880 --> 00:18:59,520 This is the wrong house. 411 00:18:59,520 --> 00:19:00,840 I think it's this one. 412 00:19:00,840 --> 00:19:01,880 Yeah, I know. 413 00:19:08,280 --> 00:19:10,600 DOORBELL RINGS 414 00:19:13,880 --> 00:19:16,080 Hello, Mrs Allsop? 415 00:19:16,080 --> 00:19:17,760 Is Mickey in? 416 00:19:17,760 --> 00:19:20,360 He's in the other room. Oh, right. 417 00:19:20,360 --> 00:19:21,400 Is he watching TV? 418 00:19:22,480 --> 00:19:24,640 He's doing his accounts. 419 00:19:24,640 --> 00:19:26,800 Of course, you're his wife. 420 00:19:26,800 --> 00:19:29,480 OK, tell him we'll be down on the green, 421 00:19:29,480 --> 00:19:31,880 if he's got...wants to join us for about half an hour. 422 00:19:31,880 --> 00:19:35,000 It's just a... Just sort of a reunion. 423 00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:37,440 Yeah. Tell him to wear his trainers. 424 00:19:37,440 --> 00:19:39,360 Thanks. 425 00:19:39,360 --> 00:19:42,760 And so, for a fleeting moment, we were seven again, 426 00:19:42,760 --> 00:19:46,440 when the dreams we had as children were still possible. 427 00:19:46,440 --> 00:19:48,640 Maybe you will join Nasa. 428 00:19:48,640 --> 00:19:51,920 Maybe you should become the chairman of ICI. 429 00:19:51,920 --> 00:19:54,520 Maybe you can marry your cousin. 430 00:19:55,480 --> 00:19:59,960 # I've been waiting for so long 431 00:19:59,960 --> 00:20:03,640 # To come here now and sing this song 432 00:20:03,640 --> 00:20:06,320 # Don't crack up 433 00:20:06,320 --> 00:20:08,480 # Bend your brain 434 00:20:08,480 --> 00:20:10,440 # See both sides 435 00:20:10,440 --> 00:20:13,840 # Throw off your mental chains 436 00:20:13,840 --> 00:20:15,240 # Ooh, ooh, ooh... # 437 00:20:17,280 --> 00:20:19,480 So, er, what do you want to do now? 438 00:20:19,480 --> 00:20:22,560 We were just saying we might go for a pint, if you fancy joining us. 439 00:20:22,560 --> 00:20:24,600 I'm not sure. I might cycle round a bit more. 440 00:20:24,600 --> 00:20:27,040 Heard some lads saying they were building a ramp. 441 00:20:27,040 --> 00:20:28,440 I might go and check it out. 442 00:20:28,440 --> 00:20:31,440 Oh, if you change your mind... Nah. 443 00:20:31,440 --> 00:20:32,840 How are your parents? 444 00:20:32,840 --> 00:20:34,520 They're both dead. Oh, yeah. 445 00:20:34,520 --> 00:20:35,840 And yours? Same. 446 00:20:35,840 --> 00:20:37,360 Yeah, mine too. See ya! 447 00:20:39,920 --> 00:20:43,880 But one last forever afternoon had made me realise not only that 448 00:20:43,880 --> 00:20:46,960 I should make my poem, Song For The Biker Boys, available 449 00:20:46,960 --> 00:20:49,240 as a free download for private schools, 450 00:20:49,240 --> 00:20:52,600 but also that reaching out and talking have brought me 451 00:20:52,600 --> 00:20:54,840 real mental health benefits. 452 00:20:57,800 --> 00:21:01,360 And now, having found my voice, I'm going to use it for good. 453 00:21:01,360 --> 00:21:03,960 I'm going to take that voice and put it into the mouth of someone 454 00:21:03,960 --> 00:21:06,640 who needs it more than I do - a woman. 455 00:21:06,640 --> 00:21:10,440 Because for too long, people like me have put the "men" into mental 456 00:21:10,440 --> 00:21:12,200 and the "he" into health. 457 00:21:12,200 --> 00:21:13,640 Well, not any more. 458 00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:16,680 I've had my run-ins with Mumsnet, 459 00:21:16,680 --> 00:21:20,000 but it remains a great way to find women with a grievance. 460 00:21:20,000 --> 00:21:22,920 While browsing one day, I was touched by the story of a woman 461 00:21:22,920 --> 00:21:26,280 dismissed by her employer when she'd raised her mental concerns. 462 00:21:26,280 --> 00:21:28,840 So, I arranged to meet her in some remote woodland. 463 00:21:30,080 --> 00:21:33,960 Leona, I want to take you back to a very painful time. 464 00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:37,600 It's summer 2023, Britain is sweltering 465 00:21:37,600 --> 00:21:40,520 in record temperatures, HS2 has just been cancelled, 466 00:21:40,520 --> 00:21:42,880 correctly, in my view - why would you want to get to the north 467 00:21:42,880 --> 00:21:47,160 quicker? - and for Leona Maguire, that's you, you've just landed 468 00:21:47,160 --> 00:21:51,920 your dream job as an administrator for CXG Technologies. 469 00:21:51,920 --> 00:21:55,600 Tell me what happened. Well, I'm not a very loud person, so... 470 00:21:55,600 --> 00:21:58,200 Just do speak up a little. OK. I'm not very outgoing, 471 00:21:58,200 --> 00:21:59,960 and they were very demanding. 472 00:21:59,960 --> 00:22:02,800 They were, sort of, that ex-public school type. 473 00:22:02,800 --> 00:22:04,760 Yeah. Very sort of full of themselves. 474 00:22:04,760 --> 00:22:06,840 Yeah, I imagine, for a quiet woman like you, 475 00:22:06,840 --> 00:22:09,160 and you are quiet, really quiet, 476 00:22:09,160 --> 00:22:14,320 I can imagine that that abrasive, underqualified, overconfident 477 00:22:14,320 --> 00:22:18,760 I want to say twattery must have been quite overwhelming. 478 00:22:18,760 --> 00:22:21,560 Well, yeah, I started to struggle with anxiety, and then 479 00:22:21,560 --> 00:22:24,520 I missed the odd day, and of course the bosses didn't like that. 480 00:22:24,520 --> 00:22:26,880 Yeah, do try and speak up a bit. OK, sorry. 481 00:22:26,880 --> 00:22:28,840 And then they gave me all these reasons, 482 00:22:28,840 --> 00:22:30,840 but I just think that they couldn't be bothered with me. 483 00:22:30,840 --> 00:22:35,320 Yeah, and that's not on because, I'm an employer, I have staff, 484 00:22:35,320 --> 00:22:39,520 and sometimes she's unwell or has a personal issue, 485 00:22:39,520 --> 00:22:40,840 and obviously your first thought is, 486 00:22:40,840 --> 00:22:43,720 "Oh, great, looks like I'm picking up my own dry cleaning then." 487 00:22:43,720 --> 00:22:46,520 But as an employer, you have a duty of care, so you say, 488 00:22:46,520 --> 00:22:48,080 "All right, take the day off. 489 00:22:48,080 --> 00:22:50,720 "Just come in early tomorrow to make up the time you lost." 490 00:22:50,720 --> 00:22:53,960 But they didn't do that. No, no, they called me in and they told me 491 00:22:53,960 --> 00:22:56,720 that my services were no longer required, 492 00:22:56,720 --> 00:23:00,280 even though the week before I had asked to speak to a counsellor. 493 00:23:00,280 --> 00:23:02,760 And they definitely heard you? Yeah. 494 00:23:02,760 --> 00:23:05,080 But when I asked them if that was the reason why, 495 00:23:05,080 --> 00:23:06,680 they didn't really elaborate. 496 00:23:06,680 --> 00:23:09,080 Well, they're going to elaborate today, Leona, 497 00:23:09,080 --> 00:23:10,560 because I'm going to bang some heads together. 498 00:23:10,560 --> 00:23:12,680 In fact, I'm going to bang so many heads together, 499 00:23:12,680 --> 00:23:15,720 it's going to be like human conkers. Are you ready? I think so. 500 00:23:15,720 --> 00:23:19,240 Yeah, all right, remember, volume! Do you have conkers in Ireland? 501 00:23:21,600 --> 00:23:26,080 OK, now, this is YOUR story, all right? 502 00:23:26,080 --> 00:23:28,240 So, I'll go over there and pin them down, and then 503 00:23:28,240 --> 00:23:29,760 you give that speech. 504 00:23:29,760 --> 00:23:32,920 Everything you said in that incredibly moving voicemail. 505 00:23:32,920 --> 00:23:34,680 Oh, I wasn't sure that you got that. 506 00:23:34,680 --> 00:23:37,000 Yeah, I just didn't reply. 507 00:23:37,000 --> 00:23:40,800 OK, well, the hardest thing was coming home with no job 508 00:23:40,800 --> 00:23:43,640 and telling my son that Disneyland had been cancelled. 509 00:23:43,640 --> 00:23:45,640 OK, now, make it personal, use his name. 510 00:23:45,640 --> 00:23:47,160 What's his name? Tighe. 511 00:23:47,160 --> 00:23:48,280 Tighe? Yes. 512 00:23:48,280 --> 00:23:49,680 Yeah, don't use his name. 513 00:23:49,680 --> 00:23:52,000 OK, well he's been very brave and... 514 00:23:52,000 --> 00:23:53,600 No, no, don't say he's brave. 515 00:23:53,600 --> 00:23:55,360 You're brave. He's broken. 516 00:23:55,360 --> 00:23:57,560 And what are you not going to do? 517 00:23:57,560 --> 00:23:59,040 Um...speak quietly. 518 00:23:59,040 --> 00:24:00,960 Pardon? Speak quietly. 519 00:24:00,960 --> 00:24:02,400 What else aren't you going to do? 520 00:24:02,400 --> 00:24:04,560 Be bullied. Finally! 521 00:24:04,560 --> 00:24:06,720 Time for the sting. 522 00:24:06,720 --> 00:24:09,880 Wearing a hidden camera disguised as a standard dental brooch, 523 00:24:09,880 --> 00:24:12,880 I'm infiltrating an investor open day... 524 00:24:12,880 --> 00:24:15,200 And you're going to see why I set up this company. 525 00:24:15,200 --> 00:24:18,320 ..a public showdown designed to achieve maximum embarrassment 526 00:24:18,320 --> 00:24:21,200 for this guy, the man who sacked Leona, 527 00:24:21,200 --> 00:24:24,760 smug CEO Craig Gardner, 528 00:24:24,760 --> 00:24:27,680 wearing what people like him call a gilet, 529 00:24:27,680 --> 00:24:30,080 and people like me call a bodywarmer. 530 00:24:30,080 --> 00:24:33,240 Within the next four years, maybe even... Just wanted to ask about 531 00:24:33,240 --> 00:24:35,840 the recently discontinued LM unit. 532 00:24:35,840 --> 00:24:38,960 The LM unit? Yeah, it was a multifunctional appliance, 533 00:24:38,960 --> 00:24:41,000 just didn't realise it was disposable. 534 00:24:41,000 --> 00:24:42,840 I'm not aware of the LM unit. 535 00:24:42,840 --> 00:24:44,680 There's one over there. Come on. 536 00:24:44,680 --> 00:24:47,160 LM. Leona Maguire. OK, got it. 537 00:24:47,160 --> 00:24:50,280 Yeah, you decommissioned the unit earlier this year, threw it 538 00:24:50,280 --> 00:24:52,960 in a skip with a load of hard drives and the bottom half of a shop dummy. 539 00:24:52,960 --> 00:24:55,080 I'd welcome the opportunity to talk... Do you normally terminate 540 00:24:55,080 --> 00:24:57,280 people's employment without due process? What I'm happy to do is... 541 00:24:57,280 --> 00:24:59,120 Don't talk over me, just because you went to public school. 542 00:24:59,120 --> 00:25:01,760 You know, you may be able to drown out a timid woman with a thin voice. 543 00:25:01,760 --> 00:25:03,840 We do accept inquiries through our main switchboard... Not so easy when 544 00:25:03,840 --> 00:25:05,800 it's a professional broadcaster, is it? We tried the switchboard 545 00:25:05,800 --> 00:25:07,760 already. Her name is Leona Maguire, you know who she is. We do treat 546 00:25:07,760 --> 00:25:10,280 our staff... See, I can talk and listen at the same time. 547 00:25:10,280 --> 00:25:12,880 It comes from having talkback in my ear whilst presenting live TV. 548 00:25:12,880 --> 00:25:14,760 I can go on all afternoon. 549 00:25:14,760 --> 00:25:16,080 Thank you. 550 00:25:16,080 --> 00:25:19,200 You know, it doesn't matter how many fancy websites you have or 551 00:25:19,200 --> 00:25:22,680 high-tech computer backpacks or whatever it is... 552 00:25:22,680 --> 00:25:24,040 It's a jet suit. 553 00:25:25,360 --> 00:25:28,120 What, like a jetpack? We prefer to say jet suit. 554 00:25:28,120 --> 00:25:32,240 Wow. What, can these actually fly? 555 00:25:32,240 --> 00:25:33,400 Yeah. 556 00:25:34,560 --> 00:25:36,520 My son, Tighe, has been broken by this. 557 00:25:36,520 --> 00:25:38,200 Yeah, she's a very, very brave woman. 558 00:25:38,200 --> 00:25:41,200 Do you need specialist skills to operate it or...? 559 00:25:41,200 --> 00:25:43,360 You can pick it up in a couple of hours. 560 00:25:43,360 --> 00:25:44,560 Oh. 561 00:25:46,440 --> 00:25:48,720 What, me? 562 00:25:48,720 --> 00:25:52,360 A tete-a-tete with Leona confirmed what I already knew - 563 00:25:52,360 --> 00:25:54,920 that this was something I had to do to give her story 564 00:25:54,920 --> 00:25:56,760 the hearing it deserved. 565 00:25:56,760 --> 00:25:59,920 Now, do you think if I put on one of these so-called jetpacks 566 00:25:59,920 --> 00:26:01,880 that would shine a light on people like you? 567 00:26:04,160 --> 00:26:06,640 I don't know. Because I think it will. 568 00:26:07,840 --> 00:26:10,360 I just don't see what that has to do with... Yeah, but otherwise 569 00:26:10,360 --> 00:26:12,720 all you've got is middle-aged woman gets the sack. 570 00:26:12,720 --> 00:26:15,680 You introduce the jetpack and, bam, you've got 'em. 571 00:26:15,680 --> 00:26:18,120 You see? Do you see now how I'm trying to help you? 572 00:26:20,040 --> 00:26:22,440 Yeah. Right, good. Let's get the jetpack! 573 00:26:24,200 --> 00:26:27,400 OK. Has Dan Snow had a go at this? 574 00:26:27,400 --> 00:26:28,840 No. Good, good. 575 00:26:28,840 --> 00:26:32,120 And Ben Fogle? No. Great. 576 00:26:32,120 --> 00:26:35,720 So, if Fogle or Snow get in touch, just delay getting back to them 577 00:26:35,720 --> 00:26:37,560 so that it doesn't actually happen. 578 00:26:38,880 --> 00:26:40,520 OK, I'm ready to fly. 579 00:26:42,200 --> 00:26:45,440 And while my microphone may have caught some gentle exuberance, 580 00:26:45,440 --> 00:26:48,680 women's mental health was never far from my mind. 581 00:26:51,960 --> 00:26:54,680 Ohhhhh! 582 00:26:54,680 --> 00:26:57,960 That is absolutely awesome! 583 00:26:57,960 --> 00:27:01,040 Absolutely awesome! 584 00:27:04,840 --> 00:27:07,360 How much do these cost? Cos I'll tell you something, 585 00:27:07,360 --> 00:27:09,240 I'm definitely getting one of these. 586 00:27:13,280 --> 00:27:17,320 Sell your house, sell the kids, but get one before they ban it 587 00:27:17,320 --> 00:27:19,640 cos, I tell you what, they should! 588 00:27:23,680 --> 00:27:28,320 Reducing throttle for controlled descent onto Range Rover roof. 589 00:27:28,320 --> 00:27:30,120 Ladder required. 590 00:27:30,120 --> 00:27:32,480 Well, for Leona, it's very much mission accomplished. 591 00:27:32,480 --> 00:27:34,840 My flight drew attention to her plight. 592 00:27:34,840 --> 00:27:37,160 In that regard, very much a plight flight. 593 00:27:37,160 --> 00:27:40,800 But it was whilst I was airborne, flying like an eagle, I realised 594 00:27:40,800 --> 00:27:44,000 the weightlessness I felt from jet propulsion was nothing 595 00:27:44,000 --> 00:27:46,280 compared to the weightlessness we all feel 596 00:27:46,280 --> 00:27:49,040 when we unburden ourselves, let our feelings out... 597 00:27:49,040 --> 00:27:50,160 Jesus! 598 00:27:50,160 --> 00:27:51,280 And just talk. 599 00:27:51,280 --> 00:27:52,800 Goodbye.