Come on, buddy! Let's go!
Come on! Move it!
New orders!
That's it! Let's go!
Your move.
You don't like the odds?
Go for it!
Scared ya!
Get outta here!
All right! Let's go!
All right!
Gimme some beer here!
Job well done!
We're gonna be rich! Can you deal with it?
Hit the siren.
We got cops!
Shit!
Heh-heh-heh!
Brake!
Happy retirement, Burty!
I thought you'd forgotten the old boy!
- What, no presents? - Actually, we did get you something.
Aw, you shouldn't... Yeah, I guess you should have.
Ohh, shucks!
The guy we got 'em off hardly struggled at all.
Just my size, too!
- They're fresh from the morgue! - Let me give you a kiss, pal!
Boys and girls!
Contrary to popular belief, we're not here to subsidise the donut house.
Let's go back to work, shall we?
Hard-nosed old bastard.
Thanks, guys! Thanks! I think.
Yes! Yes! 909! Officers in pursuit! Come on! Come on!
- I shouldn't have eaten that doughnut! - It’s your retirement, Burt. Live a little!
No dietary flare in a doughnut, at all!
Two vests? You worried about chafing?
Damn right, two vests! You know what they got now?
Magnesium-tipped bullets. Armour-plercing bullets.
Except they don't... just penetrate. They penetrate... and explode.
- if it happens, it happens. - Not this week, pal.
Chip?
Remember phll deegan?
- Who? - Homlclde, over in roxbury.
Short time, same as you. Five days left on the force. Flgures he'll stay outta the way.
Furnace in his house explodes. Knocks him into his nelghbour's garage.
- They had to peel him off a car! - I don't have a garage, pal.
- But you don't know about hot tubs! - That's why I’m going in with lewls.
Lewls? That guy in there?
- Looks like he robs grocery stores. - Not any more.
Not any more?
I can't believe you're considering this!
Did you see the women in there? So... buoyant!
But it's your life savings. You gotta plan this kinda thing.
Not again!
Just listen for once. Some simple rules of finance can make a very big difference.
- You got $11,400, right? - Right.
Put that in six-month cd's...
- right. - Compounding at 91/4 per cent annually...
...only it's more like 14% shielded.
(ernie snores)
Now you amortlse that over 32 years, you got about... $500,000.
I know, Burt, but what'll I do with a half a million bucks when I’m 92 years old?
- How about you retire? - No. I’m going into hot tubs with lewls.
- You just never listen to me, do you? - You never talk to me. You lecture me.
I don't lecture you.
How many times did I tell you not to smoke in the car!
There you go again. You're lecturing me!
Why do they give us these things that never look like the real guy?
Sometimes they do.
Never.
Dark hair. Broad nose. Always the same face.
But it works!
Name me one time when somebody nalled a suspect from a composite.
Now that guy over there. He looks about as much like the sketch as...
shit!
Shit!
(truck horn)
- Officers need assist at 1300 chestnut. - Come on, Burt! He's getting away!
What about backup?
Halt! Police!
This is not a good idea!
All right, asshole!
What about our backup, Ernle!
This guy killed two cops!
Watch your shoes, Burt!
(tyres screech)
(horns blare)
(beggar) can you spare some change?
- (door slams) - Shh!
(baby crying)
- I bet he lives here. - Thanks, Sherlock!
- Wait, Ernle! The backup! - What?
The backup!
Just wait a while. There'll be lots more of us, and just one of him.
- Will you shut up and just follow me! - (exasperated sigh)
Can't you show a little patience for once?
(dog barking)
Any other time, I’m up for this. I love this kinda stuff. You know that.
(baby crying)
Look!
Ready?
I am trying to make a point here! You're not giving me a fair shake!
I'll take low. You take high.
I hate you for this, man!
Ready, tiger?
- (siren) - They're here!
- (gunshot) - Shit!
Ernle, what are you doing!
Nobody shoots at me and gets away with it!
Ow!
He's outside!
Shit!
Ow!
- You ok, Burt? - I don't believe this!
(sirens)
Up the fire escape!
- Here he goes! Come on! - Damn it!
Good choice!
Ernle! Ernle!
Ernle! No!
- You're not jumping off this building! - Let go of my throat!
I’m not gonna do it, Ernle! I’ve waited 30 years for this!
I’m not throwing myself off a 25-storey building!
Lt's ok, we can walk down one floor!
You may not care about the future, but I do!
I’ve got myself a little plan here!
I’m not breaking my neck for any lowlife scum!
Does anyone know why...
...simpson and dllls refused to chase a dangerous felon yesterday?
Can anyone tell me why they decided to sit down on a roof...
...while the rest of the precinct chased him through the streets of downtown seattle?
Could it be because detectlve slmpson only has six more days...
...to serve on the force? - Elght.
Oh, I’m sorry, Burt!
You're in for the long haul, aren't ya! Going for that gold watch!
We chased the guy up to the roof.
Where you managed, single-handedly, to subdue your partner...
...untll backup unlts could arrlve.
I’m sure we'll all sleep a lot better knowing that!
Nice job, fella.
Detectlve slmpson did manage to, uh... retrleve a vltal plece of evldence.
- (officer whispers) yeah! With his head! - This...
...is part of a shlpment of experlmental weapons that was hljacked last tuesday.
The feds believe it was a gang...
...last known to be operating out of chlcago, run by this guy: Carl stark.
And any short-time goof-off that doesn't bust his ass to bring this guy in...
...will be as popular around this precinct as a reggae band at a ku klux klan rally.
is that clear, Burty?
Yeah.
(woman) you think that because I wear a uniform I stop having feelings?
- (man) don't do this to us! - (woman) I’m not doing anything! Lt's you!
- you just don't understand! - What are you saying?
That I don't love you?
That I don't need you?
I’m saying that I’m not just a cop, david. I’m a woman, too.
I thought this was gonna happen.
- Don't worry about it, Burt! - 30 years in the department!
- Twinkle? - And he attacks my whole career...
...cos I exerclse a little judgment elght days before I retire.
Nobody's calling you a coward!
- Hey, chlckenshit! Nice collar, boys! - Screw you, dan!
if you guys wanna smooch, you don't have to go up to the roof.
- I said screw you! - Just humour him, Ernle.
I’m glad you let him go. it'll look great when I get him.
Dan, I didn't know you'd cut a record.
Dan mlller on the asshole label!
That's funny, dllls. That's very funny.
I think your buddy forgot this.
Don't hurt yourself, old-timer.
You got eight days left on the force, and now you wanna buy life insurance?
Getting shot is not the only way to buy the farm, pal.
More men suffer massive coronaries in their fifties than any other time.
- isn't that something! - I’m not kidding.
Liver dysfunction. Renal disorder. Degenerative nerve stuff.
- All that stuff happens in your fifties. - Burt, stop worrying about your insides.
I’m not worried about my insides. I’m worried about dougle.
if it happens to me, how does he go to college?
How old is he?
Ten...
...and a half.
Shouldn't you be planning ahead?
(receptionist) Have a seat, please, Mr. Splvak.
You guys here for the drug test?
- I wish! - Life insurance.
I’m a little nervous. My company sprang this on me at the last minute.
Do you think, if I smoked a joint two days ago, it might show up on this thing?
- Well, Burt, what do you think? - Definitely.
How do you know?
(clears throat) of course, I really didn't smoke a joint two days ago!
Ok... Mr. Simpson, Mr. Splvak, you can come in now.
Jeez! About time!
Thanks, Mr. Simpson. You can get dressed now.
- Goodbye, Mr. Simpson! Have a nice day! - Thanks a lot.
(school bell ringing)
(children shouting)
(car horn)
- Hey, boy! - Hi!
- How ya doing? - I’m ok.
Here you go, my man.
Wow! What did you get me!
A surprise.
Huh?
- What is it? - A beer stein, with the Harvard crest on it.
But, dad, I don't drink beer.
it's just a souvenir. You just put it up on the shelf. Look at it...
oh.
- How's your mom? - She's ok.
- Did you tell her I was coming? - Yeah.
Burt, he's a 10-year-old boy, and you're not gonna give him an ulcer!
- One little present. - Oh! The pennants, the sweat shirts...
if that kid doesn't get into Harvard, he'll kill himself.
He'll get in.
Burt, you can't map out somebody's life 20 years in advance.
Nothing wrong with getting a head start.
- You're gonna give him your twitch. - What twitch?
That twitch.
Burt!
You know what he asked the other night? He asked if there'd be pe at Harvard.
- What did you tell him? - I said not to worry about Harvard yet.
Oh, honey, Jesus!
- Burt, you can't live his life for him. - What's that supposed to mean?
- Some things are out of your control. - Oh, yeah, here we go!
- That's what it means! - Why not say what you really mean?
- That I’m uptight and controlling. - That's not what I said.
Look, I planned my whole life so that kid could go to college.
Can he please finish grammar school first?
I’m only doing it because I love him.
I know you do, Burt. But that's not loving him.
(lovers moaning and groaning next door)
(thumping)
Animals!
(woman next door laughs)
(machine) you have one message.
What do you say, boys?
Mr. Simpson, this is Becky Colton from the gas company.
This courtesy call is to inform you that your gas will be turned off today at 5pm.
Thank you for using Seattle gas and electric.
(machine) that was your last message.
(lovers groaning)
(whiplash)
(groaning intensifies)
Bless you, cowboy!
- (whiplash) - Ow!
- Friggin' yahoos! - Yeah...
- let's do some business. - No, stay here.
Mr Scalese?
Let's see the merchandise.
Oh, man! Look at this shit!
The barrett. Model 82-a1, 50-callbre. Startron scope.
11-round capacity, staggered-box magazine.
- Heavy. What about the shells? - Like I told you...
...50-callbre, magneslum-tipped. The price is not negotiable.
Everything's negotiable.
A scratch!
No bullet's worth 20 bucks a pop.
You ever been shot at with one of these?
Jesus!
That was stupid!
Ohh!
He's my wife’s cousin.
So you wanna do some business or what?
Vlto, get up!
Heh-heh-heh-heh!
See the inflammation around the cell wall?
- Discoloration. Can't be anything else. - Really?
No question. Look how the spores invade the cell inning right there.
- I may have seen three of these in my life. - Poor guy. He was gonna retire.
it's a shame.
You eat yet?
...36...
...37...
...38...
- (phone rings) ...39...
...40...
hello?
Hey, doc. How ya doin'?
When, now?
I don't understand. I mean...
where? At your offlce?
Well, yeah... I can get there about two.
Ok. Yeah, I’ll see you then. Ok.
41... 42...
(ticking)
(knock at door)
Burt, this is dr goldman.
- He's a haematologlst. - Hi. How are you?
I asked him to come because... it appears you have... a rather rare blood dlsorder.
Dlsorder? You mean like, uh...
like a, uh... a dlsorder?
I’ll let dr goldman explain. He's an expert, and can make it a lot clearer than I can.
I thought you were gonna explain it to him?
- Well... you know the dlsease. - Yeah.
- But he's your patlent. - What's going on?
Burt, you have a dlsease known as... autotoxla haematosa.
The common name is wexler's curtain.
it's a progresslve blood dlsorder.
The lymphatlc system attacks the red blood cells, mlstaking them for a vlrus.
- it's very rare. - Yeah?
As the dlsease progresses, the iining of the cells weakens...
...and can no longer oxygenate the body. This, of course, includes the brain.
Well...
- of course. - As the deprlvatlon becomes...
...more pronounced...
...the tlssue itself begins to deterlorate...
...llterally suffocating from the lack of oxygen.
The entlre process takes about... two and a half weeks.
I don't understand.
Well...
we're afrald it's... terminal.
Terminal?
I often don't tell patlents, because there's nothing they can do. But in your case...
...the progression is so rapld, I thought you mlght need a chance...
...to get your affairs in order.
What you're saying is I’m dying.
I’m really dying.
I’m afrald so.
The later stages are marked by a neurologlcal breakdown.
- There's some medlcatlon, but... - what about chemotherapy?
Unfortunately, Burt... this is not cancer.
Oh.
Your body has actually... turned on itself.
I hate to have to tell you this, Burt.
it's always hard for a doctor to know whether he should be candid...
...with someone in your posltlon.
I just felt that telling you was the right thing to do under the clrcumstances.
Yeah, that's, uh...
you did the right thing.
if there's anything else we can do...
...please, let us know.
in the meantime, take two of these as soon as the dlzziness starts.
(barking)
(growling)
Mom, I don't believe it!
They accepted me! I have been offered a place at harvard!
Mom?
- I don't know how to tell you this, honey. - What is it, mom?
Ten years ago, when your father died, the insurance company only left us $22,000.
We've been ilving off of that money for the last ten years. There's no money left.
You won't be able to go to harvard.
There's always community college.
Oh!
Hi.
- What's wrong? - Nothing. You're... you're gonna be fine.
I am?
Absolutely.
Oh.
- Well, wanna come in? - Yeah.
Burt, what's going on?
- I just... don't want you to worry. - What would I worry about?
- The future. - you always worry about the future.
Remember when dougle made this for us?
- Dougle didn't make that for us. - He didn't?
Uh-uh.
- Burt, what's going on? - Nothing.
Nothing. You're gonna... you're gonna be fine.
- You're gonna be ok. - What?
Dougle's gonna be fine.
- Would you like to sit down? - No, I don't have time. I mean...
honey, I just want you to know that...
...I’ve taken care of everything. I know you know that, but I’ve still taken care of it.
it's just as taken care of as it always was.
Burt...
- I’ve gotta go now. I mean... - Burt, talk to me. What is the matter?
Nothing.
Burt...
everything's fine.
I can handie it.
(door slams)
Hey!
Sure! The pollcy's in effect as long as you're on the force.
- How much is it worth? - At this point, $350,000.
350... ok... well, thank you very much.
- The only thing is... - what?
- it's iine-of-duty coverage. - I don't understand.
it means you've gotta get... you know...
killed?
They only pay out for iine of duty. You can't collect on anything else.
Oh... ok. Well, thanks.
- I want double duty. - What?
- I want double duty. - is this a joke?
- I owe it to the department. - is it what I said in the squad room?
You're two cars short in the flats. I’ll take one.
- Are you all right? - What?
- You seem a little tense. - Tense?
Look, I know how hard this last week is. I’ve seen a lot of guys go through this.
- Why don't I put you on a desk? - No, damn it!
I want double duty. Now you've gotta give it to me.
Fine, Burt, you've got it.
Good!
Good.
Thanks.
- Double duty in the flats?! - We're still cops, Ernle.
it's like west belrut down there and we're signed up for 14 hours!
if you're trying to prove something about yesterday...
it's not about yesterday. it's about tomorrow.
it's probably that male menopause.
Why not just lose your hair and date unsultable women?
- is the radlo working? - What?
- The radlo - is it working? - Why wouldn't it be?
Toughest nelghbourhood, and we haven't had a call yet.
- Burt, what is the matter! - Nothing's the matter.
- Where's your vest? - Not wearing it.
- You're not wearing your vest? - No!
issue a press release about it!
(radlo) domestic violence in progress. 1235 chanteclaire. Proceed code three.
That's more like it.
(siren)
Burt, what's got into you?
Open up! Police officers!
Police officers! Open up!
- (old woman) who? - Police.
- (old man) who's denlse? - Police!
I don't believe this!
- She tried to kill me. - What?
- Just calm down, ma'am. - (shouts) what?
- Unbellevable! - Sir, tell me what happened.
She hit me with an iron. Look!
He says you hit him with an iron.
- Who's myron? - I don't believe this!
An iron. he says you hit him with an iron.
I did! He's a skunk!
Why is he a skunk?
Because he said he was leaving.
She said that you said you were leaving.
No.
I said I was eating!
(old woman laughs)
Open the book! Look at this and you can be saved, even as I was saved!
I was just like anybody else here!
You say it doesn't apply to you, but it does apply to you, because this is your life...
...this is your truth! He took me down as low as a man can go...
I got you some yoghurts. Peach or... blueberry?
Burt?
Do you believe in life after death?
Look, if peach or blueberry is too tough a question...
do you, uh... believe in heaven?
- Heaven? - Mm-hm.
Gee, I... don't know, Burt.
That was something my dad talked about after his first heart attack.
You know those stories about people who almost died?
They talk about this tunnel of white light, which they kinda float into, and...
...there's a garden with all the people they've ever known waiting for them?
Yeah.
My dad was out for two minutes. When they got him back, he talked about it.
What did he see?
- Nothing. - Nothing?
No tunnel, no floating. No white light. Just him.
Lying there on the bed one minute, and the next...
squat!
Gimme one of those.
(radio) bravo unit. Sliver pontiac.
Need assist, southbound, on east seattle parkway. Respond code three.
- That's it! - What's it?
This is it!
Burt, we're nowhere near the east seattle parkway!
- Get out of the car! - What are you talking about?
- The rear tyre - it's low. - it doesn't feel low.
- it's low! Get out! - Burt! Oh, god!
Burt! Your yoghurt!
I said... save him!
(sirens)
- How fast is that? - I don't know.
- How fast are we going? - 90!
is he trying to kill himself?
(tyres screech)
This is for you, dougle! You're going to college, little guy!
Come on! Blow 'em away!
No problem!
Machine guns! All right!
Go! Go!
Look out!
- Get this thing moving! - I’m wide open!
Lose them!
Get this guy off my ass!
Right here!
Jesus!
Goddamn it!
Goodbye, carolyn!
Aw!
Holy shit!
Blow this guy away!
Come on! Shoot!
How do you like that, you ugly son of a bitch!
This guy's crazy!
Slow down!
Watch it! Watch it!
Jeez!
- You son of a bitch! - Get away from this guy!
Come on!
You wanna play rough?
Look out!
- Aaaghh! - Aaaghh!
Where'd he go?
Now your ass is mine!
Jeez!
Whoa!
Move!
Waaaagggghh!
Man, this guy is pissin' me off!
Son of a bitch!
Look out!
Now or never, Burt, old buddy!
Aaagghh!
Get off my face!
Can't you idiots do anything right?!
For risking your life for this department, for bravery beyond the call of duty...
...the Seattle police department's proud to present you with this medal of valour...
...along with the accompanying citations.
We're just glad you're still around to get it.
I didn't steal those letters, David.
I wrote them.
- You're not pregnant? - No, I’m not pregnant.
I’m your twin sister - Joan.
- She died in the orphanage. - No!
- I don't get it. - Shh!
I managed to escape, but I lost my memory!
- I’m your partner, Burt. I wanna know. - Nothing's the matter.
You kick me out of the car and drive off a building!
An impulse.
- I can't take any more. - Put the gun down!
(gunshot)
Burty!
- What do you want? - Just congratulating your partner.
You squashed lutz, Jonas b, and his brother Michael.
Two right-hand men to Carl stark.
Gun smuggler supreme...
...and killer in cold blood of any cops that cross his path.
it's big time! You bagged two stars! I won't tell you how to live your life...
...but I’d get a bullet-proof house if I were you.
Easy come, easy go, huh?
- Can I help you? - Oh, um...
yeah. I, uh... I’d like to buy a...
- a housing? - Excuse me?
- We call them housings. - Oh. Well... yeah.
What price range?
Well, i... I really don't know. is there a big difference?
Oh, sure. I’ve got everything from 1,800 to 60,000.
60,000 dollars?
Lt's titanium alloy. (knocks)
Lt's all a question of durability.
Most people think they just put you in the ground, and the next thing you're dust.
But there's lots of intermediate stages.
You want something that's really gonna hold up when the body starts to rot.
- Was it a loved one? - Well, uh... I guess. Yeah.
- A friend? - Sort of. Yeah.
Some think it's silly to match the housing with the individual.
But let's face it - they're in there for an awfully long time.
Yeah. Well, uh... I don't know. I don't know what to say.
- He was, uh... he was... reasonable. - Reasonable?
Yeah, he was. And he was young.
- 50. just turned 50. - That's very sad.
Yeah, it is sad.
- Did I tell you he was a cop? - No.
30 years on the force, and...
...Five days from his pension, and now...
it isn't fair sometimes, hm?
He once wanted this convertible. Little red mustang.
He decided he wanted to save. He wanted to... put something away for the future.
Sure!
Well... is that so wrong?
So wrong to wanna put something away? Something to... rely on?
No!
Not that you can rely on anything these days. Nothing makes any sense.
Does it make any sense to die at 50? is that sensible?
I don't know. I guess you just gotta live for today.
Live for today.
Yeah. You know... let the future take care of itself.
Let the future take...
live for today and let the future take care of itself.
How about something in a nice cedar?
Burt!
Listen, uh... I’m sorry.
About what?
Everything.
That's a lot!
I’m sorry about the other day.
- I’m sorry about the past Five years. - Huh!
- I’m sorry about this toaster. - Toaster?
Yeah, this toaster. Remember? You wanted the one with the top brown.
I made you buy this with the better warranty.
I was wrong.
I’m sorry.
I accept your apology.
Sorry about those plastic slip covers, too.
I, uh...
I’m really sorry I made you clip these damn coupons.
- Burt, what is the matter? - Nothing. Nothing.
Everything, uh... everything's fine.
I can tell.
it is, really. Everything's wonderful. i, uh...
I love you.
Jesus, Burt!
I do.
Not in the way I ever loved you before.
I love you. I mean you. I don't love us.
- Not the house, the tax returns... - stop it, Burt!
- I love the way you snort when you laugh. - (snorts) you hate the way I snort!
Exactly! That's the point.
Look... I need you to know this, carolyn.
I have to have you know this, right now.
- You said not to snort when we went out. - I hate myself for it.
is this a midlife crisis?
Yes. Sort of.
Want some hawallan punch?
Do you remember at your sister's house? You came into the bathroom with me...
Burt...
the party was going on outside and you were a little drunk...
- that's enough. - I wanted to, too!
- No, you didn't. - Yes, I did!
I just thought, with all those people... I thought they'd hear, and... I got chicken.
Burt, I think you'd better go.
No.
No, I’m not gonna leave.
Do you remember when you used to sing to dougle when he was a baby?
I used to stand out in the hall...
...and just watch you.
And sometimes I would... I would start crying.
And when dougle was being born, I made the nurse let me stand in the doorway...
...so I could hear that you were all right.
And... when you were taking those drawing classes...
...and you'd come home and throw away some of your pictures?
I picked those pictures out of the garbage... and I put 'em in a drawer.
That's the way I’ve always felt about you.
I just haven't been able to... say it.
Jesus, Burt!
Lt's been a long time since I felt like that.
Me, too.
You mean you haven't?
No. Not really.
Have you?
No.
Not really.
Ever notice how perfect a tullp is?
What?
The petals. They open up like...
...tiny little bells.
Burt, please tell me what the hell is going on.
I just think it's wonderful, that's all.
it's an incredible thing.
My partner is turning into oscar wilde!
(radio) one-eleven in progress. 1800 marshall avenue. Proceed code three.
All right, men, into your positions!
- Get back there! - Yes, sir!
- Glad you guys could make it. - What's going on?
Freakin' loony tune's got himself wired to some dynamite.
Wants to talk to the president or his ex-wife.
- Ex-wife? - Yeah.
Every time we get close he says love is dead in the world.
I’m ready, captain.
Shut up, dills!
All right, people! Let's get ready!
into positions, men! That's right.
Where's Burt?
Excuse me.
- Oh, no! - What the hell?
Hey, Simpson!
Simpson! This is my...
Simpson! Simpson! This is my bust, Simpson!
Simpson! You listen to me!
Simpson!
Hi.
My name's Burt.
Love is dead in the world.
I know what you mean.
You do?
Yeah.
Like...
like it just got... lost or something.
Like it just froze along the way.
I, uh...
I heard about your wife.
Yolanda?
Yolanda.
I know... how much pain you must be in.
So you're gonna blow yourself up?
Because you think she doesn't love you any more?
I think... maybe she still loves you.
You do?
Yes, I do.
When, um... when was the last time you told her you love her?
A long time ago, huh?
Just slowly stopped talking to each other.
And you can't even remember why you fell in love in the first place, right?
Well, obviously, you can remember that now or you wouldn't be doing this.
Oh...
...go ahead and blow yourself up if you want.
You're sure gonna be missing a lot.
Do you have any klds?
Mickey and mikey.
How old are they?
31/4 and 5.
if you're gone, who's gonna see they graduate high school?
How you gonna find out whether they found a nice girl?
Huh?
- Whether Mikey's stutter cleared up? - Mikey doesn't stutter!
No, but let's just say that he did.
There's so much... there's so many...
...so many little things that we don't even notice until they're gone.
Can Mickey ride a bike?
Don't you wanna teach him? Or see him get his braces?
- Or touch the top of that door jamb? - How did you know about the door jamb?
Pal, come on!
You may think you know him, but...
...I bet you don't even know who his teacher is.
Or the names of the monsters in his room.
Or why he burled his shoes that time...
...or why he made you call him peter for a whole month.
You know, you just take things like that for granted.
Then one day there's a stranger standing in the door, saying:
Can I borrow the car keys, dad?
You don't know how it got that way.
You don't even know what you're doing there.
God!
Lt's gone then.
Once it's gone, you can't get it back...
...no matter how hard you try.
No one should kill himself.
Don't you do that.
Oh, I’ve been so stupid!
(applause)
(cheering)
- Thank you. - Ok, pal.
All right, come with us.
Hell of a job, Burt! Completely insane, man, but a hell of a job!
First rate!
- Here, we can get a shot. - All right, folks...
there's one thing, Burt. Where's the bomb?
- The bomb? - Yeah.
And in recognltion of an act of outstanding heroism...
...the seattle police department awards you the sliver cross.
(applause)
- Burt, you didn't even make a speech! - I’m in a hurry.
Why? Where are you going?
- Haven't got time, Ernle. - Where are you going!
- You're not going anywhere, Simpson. - Jesus, miller, not now!
- Who do you think you are? - He's my partner, shit-for-brains!
I’m sorry I took your bust.
if I could, I’d put it on your record. it doesn't matter to me.
- That's not good enough. - it has to be, cos I’m in a big hurry.
I don't give a shit. We're having it out right now.
Miller, look, I’m not gonna swing at ya.
Because you're a wuss, Simpson. Just like I always thought you were.
Yeah, well, maybe you're right.
On the other hand...
...you could be wrong.
I love you, Burt Simpson.
(car horn)
Dougle!
Hey, boy!
- How ya doing? - I’m ok. I’m fine.
- Who were ya talking to? Gimme a hug. - Just my buddies.
I gotcha, right where I want ya!
- Dad, I can't breathe! - I gotcha now!
- (car horn) - You give up?
Uncle! Uncle!
(car horns)
- Are you really sure? - Never been so sure in my life!
Jesus!
- You're all set, Mr Simpson. - Ok, great! Thank you very much.
You all set, Mr Simpson?
- You bet! - All right!
(~ ''roll with it'' by Steve winwood on car radio)
You like it?
Hey!
I love it!
Dad, wait a minute! This is a really good song!
- This? You like this? - Yeah!
(sings along) ~ you can make it... roll with it, baby
~ when this world turns its back on you
~ hang in, and you just re-think it through
~ you just roll with it, baby
~ hey, you just roll with it, baby
~ come on and just roll with it, baby
~ hang on and just roll with it, baby!
How'd you know about this place?
We came here with miss graham. We're doing a project on the rainforest.
- Are ya? - Yeah.
- Wow! Look at this guy! - My god!
- I like him. He's a bird-eating spider. - Bird-eating?
- Except he doesn't really eat birds. - No?
He eats mice and bugs. But he can kill birds if he has to.
You know, if they get too close to his hole where he lives.
Because it's so hot, they live in holes.
it's cooler underground, and safer while they're sleeping.
- You know a lot about bugs, huh? - Yeah.
I didn't know that.
But baseball's still my favorite. Then dinosaurs, and then bugs.
Hey, dad, you gotta see this!
isn't he cool?
Oh, yeah!
Wow!
Scary! Huh?
Yeah.
Bird-eating spider.
They live in holes.
Right?
Dad? Can we do it again next week?
- We'll see. - Ok.
Remember when we first moved in, Burt? How we planned this porch would be?
White-washed decks and...
...that old summer chair that Ernle's sister gave us hanging over there.
- Whatever happened to that chair? - it's still in the garage, I think.
Oh, Burt, I feel so lucky!
I really thought it was all over for us.
I’d even given up hoping.
But...
...somehow you made it all happen for us again, Burt.
No, I didn't, honey.
Yes... you did.
And suddenly I feel like... we have a future again.
Oh... I love you, Burt Simpson.
I love you, too.
Burt?
Oh, Burt...
the guy says to him, ''well, what are tornadoes for? ''
and the priest says:
''well, they're god's answer to trailer parks! ''
what!
Never mind!
- I guess you heard about tucker? - No.
Got blown away this afternoon.
He pulls this guy over for making an illegal right...
...and blam! He takes two rounds in the chest!
- They id the guy? - Yeah. Carl stark.
Boss of those guys you put in hospital. Man, that guy is an evil son of a bitch.
Stark.
Shit, I’m getting hungry. Wanna get something to eat?
What?
- When did I last buy you dinner? - A couple of weeks ago?
No, you got the plzzas on Monday.
Exactly!
(~ chopin nocturne)
Are you outta your mind?
- That jacket is you, pal! - Thanks.
I just wanna buy you a little dinner.
Dinner's a plzza, Burt, or a cheeseburger. Not lobster thermldor.
Ernle, you were best man at my wedding. You're godfather to my son.
We've been partners for ten years.
Can't I just once spend more than three lousy dollars buying you dinner?
Nothing's worth ninety bucks a plate!
- you are, pal. - More wine, sir?
Yeah. Let me have a bottle of your best champagne.
Burt!
Ernle, I have just found out something that's so important...
...I can't believe it took me this long to find out.
You can't spend your whole life planning what'll make you happy tomorrow...
...or you'll never be happy today. You gotta do it now.
And that includes your hot tubs.
I was wrong about lewls. it's a good deal. Great idea!
Thank you.
You gotta go for it, Ernle. You gotta enjoy it.
Oh, I almost forgot. These are for you.
What are these?
- The keys to my mustang. - You bought a mustang?
Little red convertible. I want you to have it.
That's it, buddy. You're seeing a doctor. You're outta your fuckin' mind!
(whispers) sit down, sit down, sit down!
Ernle, have you ever driven a convertible?
Do you know how it feels when the top's down?
The sun's out, the wind's going through your hair?
Do you know how alive it makes you feel?
I want you to have that feeling.
I want you to feel alive.
There's another thing. Come here.
I love ya, pal.
Oh, god!
So, finally, he takes me out for a $400 meal...
...kisses me, and gives me these. The keys to his new convertible.
What the hell’s wrong with him?
- And today is his last day on the force? - Mm-hm.
I really don't think you need to worry very much.
He said he loved me!
Many officers on the point of retirement experience contradlctory feelings.
Some relate to imminent loss of power.
Others to a fear of making it alone outslde the close camaraderle of the force.
No, you don't understand. Burt's not like this. Not at all.
This is like drlving around with a completely different guy.
I suppose it's posslble he's suffering from some form of manlc depression.
Well, how can we find out?
Lt's actually a chemlcal imbalance. it would show up on a blood test.
- Good morning. - Good morning.
- Morning. - Morning.
- How about a little break? - Gee, thanks a lot!
Yeah...
oh!
Hello, boys!
- Jesus, it's him! - Get the hell outta here.
Aw! Now does that mean you're not gonna tell me where stark is?
Well... look, I’ll tell you what.
I’m gonna leave you my number... right here.
if you change your mind, you just give me a...
...a call. Can you read that?
You can't see from there, can you? Oh, wait a minute.
Argh!
is that better?
- Jesus! - Huh?
- You'd like to read it, too? - Ow!
Guard!
- Can you read this? - Yeah. I can read that.
- Excellent! - Ow!
- Go ahead. - What?
- What's my number? - Screw you!
You weren't really serlous about calling me, were you?
I’ll tell you where stark is!
Good boy.
- Can you tell me where dr drexler is? - Drexler?
- Yes. it's very important. - One moment.
Dr drexler's on the second floor. Room 207.
207. thanks.
Out of the question! All records are strlctly confldentlal.
- I have to see them. - Not without authorlsatlon.
- You don't understand. I’m a cop. - So? Show me a warrant.
Screw this!
- Put those back! This is outrageous! - He's my partner!
Well, your partner is dying!
- What? - I said... he's dying.
Autotoxla... haema...
...tosa. Wexler's curtain. That's why I didn't report the marljuana trace.
- Marljuana? - That's what I said.
You must have notlced something wrong when he began to go blind.
Biind?
(crash!)
- Where the hell is slmpson, dllls? - I don't know, sir.
Two guys in tractlon clalm he beat on 'em tlll they told him where stark was.
- Could've blown the whole thing. - Shit!
Hey, ed. The captain wants to see you.
Go on! Get going!
Where the hell is my partner!
Ow!
25... 6...
- used twentles. - it's great.
We gotta do this more often.
I deducted for the damages on the doors.
No!
- Police! Freeze! - it's the heat!
Let's get outta here!
- Vlto! Let's go! - He wrecked the lincoin!
Police! Freeze!
Shit!
Come on!
(panting) llke I said...
police!
Freeze!
Go ahead.
Make my day.
What do you think I am? Stupld?
(elevator bell)
This is rldlculous.
Stark!
Thank god! I thought I’d lost ya.
You are one crazy son of a bitch!
I like that!
- But you'll still blow me away, won't ya? - I’ll kill ya.
Wait up!
Wait a minute! You didn't get me!
Shit!
What kind of a cop killer are you!
Can you believe this guy!
Yes!
Come back!
Oh, no!
(explosion)
You missed me again, you idiot!
Ohh!
Where the hell are you?
This is really pissing me off!
Hey, stupid!
Hey, watch out, man!
I’m gonna say this once, so listen up. Either you come up here and kill me...
...or I’m gonna climb down there and pull us both off. You got it?
Ok, pal! That's it!
Aaagh!
Aw!
Now you've really pissed me off!
Good. Pissed off is good.
- Burt! - Ernle?!
Burt! Burt! Listen carefully!
You're not sick!
What?!
- He said you're not sick. - Shut up!
What?!
Dr drexler made a mistake! You're not gonna die!
I’m not gonna die?!
I’m not gonna die!
I am gonna die. I am gonna die!
Damn right, sucker!
Ernle! Do something! Ow!
Do something! Come on!
- Shoot the son of a bitch! - Sayonara, sucker!
Help me!
You gotta be kidding!
Hang on, Burt!
(stark screams)
Burt! You ok?
I’m not gonna die!
Don't look down!
Just don't look down.
Don't worry! Hang on, buddy! Backup's on the way!
Don't... look down!
Aagghh!
Dearly beloved, we who gather here...
...come from many different stages in our journey through life...
...with different ways of looking at life and death.
We gather here to mourn a man. A friend to those who knew and loved him.
A man who served this city well.
A man who wore his uniform with pride.
- Couldn't he hurry it up a little? - Hey... show a little respect.
(priest) at some point our lives were touched by him whom we mourn here.
And our lives...
...touched him.
His sudden departure from among us has cut across all our lives.
Dad?
Who was this guy?
He drove buses.
And also... gave me back my life.
(priest) a time for every matter under heaven.
- Carolyn. - Captain.
- Well... you made it. - Just about, anyway.
- I was hanging out the chopper. - Shut up, dills!
The precinct won't be the same without you.
- Well... - oh, I almost forgot.
The helicopter pilot sent that over. Thought you might like to see it.
- Not my best angle! - Look, your fly's open!
Here, you can keep this. I’ll sign it for you later.
Thanks, captain, for coming out here. I appreciate it.
Thanks a lot, sir.
- Here we go, honey. - Ready?
- You got the keys, Ernle? - Damn right I got the keys. it's my car!
- What? - He gave it to me.
- You gave it to him? - When I thought I was dying.
(ernie) well, that's not my fault, pal.
- So, can I borrow the car? - Ok, but it's ten cents a mile.
- Figures. - Great! Back seat and it's my car!
- Keys! Keys! - You ok, honey?
Ow! Piece of cake.
So, where do you wanna go?
(sirens)
- Burt! - Burt!
Daddy!
(sirens continue)
So, where do you wanna go?
(dougie) I wanna go to the park.
- (ernie) I wanna go to a bar. - (carolyn) I’d kinda like to go home.
~ when life is too much
~ roll with it, baby
~ don't stop and lose your touch
~ oh, no, baby
~ hard times knocking on your door
~ I’ll tell them you ain't there no more
~ get on through it
~ roll with it, baby
~ luck'll come and then slip away
~ you've gotta move, bring it back to stay
~ you've gotta roll with it, baby
~ come on and just roll with it, baby
~ you and me, roll with it, baby
~ hang on and just roll with it, baby
~ hey!
~ the way that you love
~ is good as money
~ I swear by stars above
~ sweet as honey
~ people think you're down and out
~ you show them what it's all about
~ you can make it
~ roll with it, baby
~ when this world turns its back on you
~ hang in and do that sweet thing you do
~ you just roll with it, baby
~ yeah, you just roll with it, baby
~ come on and just roll with it, baby
~ you and me, just roll with it, baby
~ roll with it, baby
~ yeah, you just roll with it, baby
~ you and me, just roll with it, baby
~ hang on and just roll with it, baby
~ hey! Come on!
~ roll with me, baby
~ hang on, baby
~ roll with me, baby
~ roll
~ hey!
~ come on and roll