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翻譯 Eunice 4
翻譯 冰島豆腐 5
校對 冰島豆腐 6
時間軸 冰島豆腐 7
后期 8T 8
總監 冰島豆腐 9
你還好嗎 Are you okay? 10
我痛死了 Oh, I'm in so much fucking pain! 11
絲芙蘭要關門了 Sephora's closing. 12
對了 我不會讓你用原價買那個唇釉 I'm not gonna let you buy that lip kit full price, by the way. 13
那樣的話 That'd be, like... 14
有背民權 ...against civil rights. 15
你決定只是抽筋嗎 Are you sure it's just cramps? 16
因為我媽認識一個因為吃了熊貓快遞 'Cause my mom knows someone who got an amoeba 17
而染上阿米巴變形蟲的人 from Panda Express. 18
我朋友因為大姨媽而抓狂 19
好像有人把那種 It's like someone is sticking one of those 20
彎曲的日本刀插進了我的陰道 curved Japanese swords up my vagina. 21
操 Fuck! 22
你想要剩下的奧施康定嗎 Do you want the rest of the Oxy? 23
而且絲芙蘭他媽的關門了 24
拿去 開門 Here, open the door. 25
我不行 我動不了 I-I-I can't. I can't move. 26
我開不了門 I can't -- I can't unlock the door. 27
好吧 我從底下塞進去 Okay, I'll just slide it under. 28
如果你用吸的 效果會更快 Think if you snort it it works super fast. 29
靠 Fuck! 30
我對你簡直是真愛 因為這地板好惡心 This is fucking true love 'cause this floor's nasty. 31
拿到了嗎 Got it? 32
好惡心 Oh, God, gross! 33
我要吐了 Oh, I think I'm gonna throw up. 34
你還好嗎 Are you okay? 35
講真 到底怎么了 Seriously, what is happening? 36
閉嘴 墨西哥風味餐廳的那女的在看 Shut up! The Chipotle woman is looking! 37
你能搜下"怎么生產"嗎 Can you Google "How to give birth"? 38
什么 What?! 39
快搜 Just do it. 40
你要生孩子了 You're having a fucking baby?! 41
-閉嘴 -你沒懷孕 - Shut up! - You're not pregnant! 42
你看上去根本沒那么胖 You don't even look that fat. 43
天 不行 我們得打911 Oh, God, no! We have to call 911. 44
-不行 -我們必須打911 - No! - We have to call 911. 45
我父母會殺了我的 My parents will fucking kill me! 46
-靠 -還有人在車里生產呢 - Fuck. - People give birth in cars. 47
不 你不能在廁所里生產 No, you can't give birth in a bathroom. 48
這種事很常見 沒什么大不了的 It fucking happens. It's not a big fucking deal. 49
你怎么會不知道 你的姨媽呢 How could you not know? What about your period? 50
我以為我是在流血 天 娜奧米 I thought I was bleeding. Oh, God, Naomi! 51
閉嘴 有人來了 Shut up! Someone is coming. 52
不行 有人在里面吐了一地 Uh, no, someone threw up all over the floor in there. 53
還拉得到處都是 And diarrhea, too. 54
我嘞個去 沒反應 Tittyfuck cunt nugget. It's not loading. 55
-沒反應 -歡迎來到健康5G - It's not loading! - Welcome to wellness 5G... 56
天 是那種YouTube廣告 Oh, God, it's one of those YouTube videos 57
你必須先看完才能看視頻 where you have to watch the whole fucking ad first. 58
不能跳過 You can't just skip. 59
為什么有的能跳過有的不能 Why can you skip some and not others?! 60
搞什么鬼 What the fucking fuck! 61
-操 -試試WikiHow網站 - Fuck! - Try WikiHow! 62
世代 第一季 第一集 63
三個月前 64
切斯特 65
這是你在入學第一個月里 This being your third dress-coding offense 66
第三次違反著裝要求了 in the first month of school, 67
你需要一個心理指導顧問給你簽字 you need a guidance counselor to sign off on this. 68
不 拜托別讓我去見薩塔雷利老師 No, please don't make me see Mr. Saltarelli. 69
那人只會打破夢想 That man crushes dreams. 70
他收集古老的口腔設備 He collects antique dental equipment. 71
薩塔雷利老師死了 Mr. Saltarelli is dead. 72
靠 抱歉 怎么死的 Oh, shit. I'm sorry. How? 73
薩塔雷利老師是怎么死的 How did Mr. Saltarelli die? 74
他跟丟了他在飛的一架無人機 He lost sight of a drone he was flying 75
結果意外撞到了他的頭 and accidentally flew it into his head. 76
他失去意識掉進了他的泳池 溺亡了 He fell unconscious in his pool and drowned. 77
我去 Oh, shit. 78
嗯 Yeah. 79
美網的一個裁判 There was a guy judging the U.S. Open 80
因為被一個球員發球擊中大腿根而死亡 who died when a player served the tennis ball into his groin. 81
是真的 他名叫迪克[陰莖] It's true. His name was Dick. 82
這也是真的 That's also true. 83
不好意思 I'm sorry. 84
你是新的心理指導顧問 You're the new guidance counselor? 85
薩姆 Sam. 86
切斯特 Chester. 87
我們應該叫老師的姓的 You know, we're supposed to call teachers by their last names. 88
你也可以叫我范爾老師 如果這讓你更自在的話 Call me Mr. Fanger if it feels more comfortable. 89
我一直對此保持中立態度 I've always been a bit on the fence about it. 90
有什么事嗎 What can I do for you? 91
你得給我的條子簽字 You have to sign my slip, 92
在你確保我明白我的高中檔案里 after you make sure that I understand the consequences 93
出現多次違反著裝準則的記錄 of having things like multiple dress-code violations 94
會有什么后果之后 on my high school record. 95
好的 切斯特 你明白后果嗎 Okay, Chester, do you understand the consequences? 96
再違反三次 我就會被停課 Three more, and I am suspended 97
以水刑伺候 處死之類的 and waterboarded and put to death or something. 98
問題是我是個明星水球球員 Thing is I am a star water polo player 99
平均績點4.1 with a 4.1 GPA, 100
我對做愛的容忍度微乎其微 and my tolerance for giving a fuck is, like, minimal. 101
你對說臟話是什么看法 Where do you come down on cursing? 102
安全空間 Safe space. 103
你為什么老是違反著裝準則 Why do you keep getting dress-coded? 104
有次因為穿裙子 Once for wearing a skirt. 105
有次因為穿破洞牛仔褲 Once for ripped jeans, 106
女生穿就不會有問題 which the girls never get in trouble for, 107
但他們說是因為破洞離我屁股太近了 but they said the rips were too close to my ass. 108
他們沒說"屁股"這詞 I mean, they didn't use the word "Ass." 109
薩塔雷利老師好像說的是"Derriere" I think Mr. Saltarelli said "Derriere," 110
我不得不去搜索了下 確認 which I had to Google just to make sure 111
那是法語里的"屁股" it was French for "Ass." 112
宗旨 But anyway... 113
你怎么看 What do you think? 114
這樣離我屁股太近了嗎 Is this too close to my ass? 115
你為什么喜歡那樣穿 What is it about for you? 116
我為什么喜歡那樣穿 Ooh. What is it about for me? 117
我喜歡你說這話時可愛且有點心理指導顧問風格的口氣 I like how you said that all cute and guidance counselor-y. 118
是因為變裝嗎 Is it a drag thing? 119
你喜歡變裝嗎 有舍才有得 Are you into drag? Give to get. 120
他們在心理指導顧問學校里難道不教你們這個嗎 Don't they teach you that in guidance counselor school? 121
他們教的是怎么應付那些試圖 More like how to deal with kids who try to find things out 122
打探你與他們無關的私生活的小孩 about your personal life that are none of their business. 123
好吧 好吧 Oh. Okay, okay. 124
你這么愛冷嘲熱諷 So, you know, you being a shady bitch 125
只會讓我更喜歡你 is only gonna make me like you more. 126
如果你想對我進行心理治療 我隨時奉陪 And if you want to therapize me, I am all over it. 127
開始吧 Like, go. 128
讓我們來敞開心扉交談 Like, let's get all up close and personal. 129
你今天得找人借你衣服穿 You'll need to find someone to lend you something for today. 130
如果我得穿Gap的衣服 If I have to wear something from The Gap, 131
我就一槍斃了自己 I am blowing my brains out. 132
這不是帶有自殺傾向的呼救 That's not a suicidal cry for help, 133
聲明下 just to be clear. 134
但如果真要穿Gap 那么就有可能是的 But it could be if The Gap is involved. 135
那是在哪里 Where is that? 136
東京 Oh, Tokyo. 137
我在那度過了我人生里最孤獨的一年 I spent the loneliest year of my life there. 138
我掛在那是為了提醒我當我感覺孤獨的時候 I put it up to remind me that when I feel alone, 139
都不會比那時更孤獨 I'm never feeling that alone. 140
這是提示你要跟可憐學生交心嗎 Is that, like, a prompt to connect to sad kids? 141
你之前表現明明很好 Oh, boo, you was doin' so good. 142
我的學校郵箱 My school e-mail address. 143
如果你需要什么的話 If you need anything. 144
我需要的東西很多 I need a shit-ton of things. 145
我不好應付 I'm, like, a lot. 146
你好 你誰 147
萊麗 我認識你嗎 148
不認識 你的露臍裝很好看 149
切斯特 這邊 Hey, yo, Chester, over here, man. 150
訓練見 Hey, I'll see you at practice. 151
好的 哥們 Alright, bro. 152
你應該來參加我今晚的派對 153
-晚點還見嗎 -嗯 到時見 - Later still good? - Yeah, I'll meet you there. 154
我和我朋友都很想你來 內森帥嗎 155
很帥 是內森在發消息嗎 156
x21 157
有人能賣我一件T恤嗎 我有一刀 Can anyone sell me a shirt? I have a dollar. 158
有人嗎 Anyone? 159
-一刀買一件T恤 -抱歉 - Shirt for a dollar? - Sorry, man. 160
這邊要上演《魔力麥克》哦 "Magic Mike" Stage show over here. 161
逗你們的 我因為違反著裝準則被警告了 Just kidding. I got dress-coded. 162
來啊 Alright, let's see it! 163
你可以的 你可以的 You got it, you got it, you got it! 164
-很好 -切斯特 射門 - Nice! - Chester, take the shot! 165
不敢相信我們進來了 I can't believe we got past! 166
我一直想看這個 I've been wanting to see this one so bad! 167
喂 Yo. 168
棒 Yes! 169
孤獨就是這樣子 170
-操 -抱歉 - Fuck! - Sorry. 171
我是萊麗 Hey, I'm Riley. 172
很高興認識你 Oh, nice to meet you. 173
-內森還沒到 -好的 - Nathan's not here yet. - Alright. 174
-屋內有喝的 -好的 - Uh, there's stuff to drink inside. - Cool. 175
那個女生 穿了很多粉色的 她有大麻 That girl, the one wearing way too much pink -- she's got weed. 176
她從她家長那偷來的 但她會收你錢 She steals it from her parents, but she'll charge you... 177
同時開不起眼的恐同玩笑 while making low-key homophobic jokes. 178
她覺得無所謂 因為她有兩個爸爸 She thinks it's okay 'cause she has two dads. 179
也許他們是那種討厭自己的同志 Uh, well, maybe they're those self-hating gays. 180
不少人這樣 It's, like, a whole thing. 181
我很高興你來了 I'm really glad you came. 182
謝謝 Thank you. 183
別傷內森的心 Don't break Nathan's heart. 184
我感覺我不會想惹你 Yeah, I feel like in general I don't want to mess with you. 185
搞死這些烏龜 Let's fuck those turtles up! 186
喂 Hello? 187
我是薩姆 你的心理指導顧問 This is Sam, your guidance counselor. 188
我看到了你發的圖片 I got the picture you sent. 189
靠 你以為 什么 Uh, shit. And you thought...what? 190
我需要知道你沒事 I need to know if you're okay. 191
我很擔心 I was worried. 192
那叫做樓頂攝影 Um, it's -- it's -- it's called rooftopping. 193
很多人這么做 你可以去搜 It's just a thing that people do. You can Google it. 194
你怎么有我的號碼 How did you get my number? 195
我打給了你家 你外婆給我的 I called your house. Your grandma gave it to me. 196
聽著 你周一得來見我 Look, I need to meet with you Monday. 197
為什么 Why? 198
你發那樣的圖片 我必須采取措施 Send a picture like that, I'm doing something about it. 199
必須 I have to. 200
-不 你不用 -我必須 - No, you don't. - I have to. 201
好吧 我喜歡救世主情結 Okay, I love me a good savior complex, 202
但你逼太緊了 but you're really pushing it. 203
我認識一些試圖傷害自己的人 I know people who've tried to hurt themselves. 204
在這種事上我絕不能大意 I don't -- I don't mess around with stuff like this. 205
不是我 Well, that's not me. 206
聽你這么說我很安心 I'm relieved to hear it, 207
但我還是想見你 but I'd still like to meet with you. 208
你說"孤獨就是這樣子" You said, "This is what loneliness looks like." 209
意思是美極了 Meaning it's fucking beautiful. 210
嗯 Yeah. 211
我周一會去見你 I'll meet with you Monday. 212
謝謝你的坦誠 I appreciate you being honest. 213
其他人都做不到 No one ever is. 214
我永遠會跟你坦誠相待 I'll always be honest with you. 215
你只是可能不會喜歡 You just might not always like it. 216
拜拜 Bye. 217
-該死 抱歉 -沒事 - Chingada! Sorry. - That's okay. 218
你現在是認真的嗎 Hey, are you even real right now? 219
新建聯系人 薩姆 220
我沒被邀請 I wasn't invited. 221
內森 你現在能看到我嗎 當然能 內森來了 對他好點 他今晚不太順 222
-嗨 -內森 - Hi. - Nathan? 223
-抱歉 -你好嗎 - Sorry. - Hey, how's it going? 224
今晚是我這輩子最糟糕的一晚 I'm having the worst night of my life. 225
你是在哭嗎 Wait, are you crying? 226
沒 只是眼睛里進了東西 No, I-I just got something in my eye. 227
-靠 -真糟糕 - Fuck. - It sucks. 228
等等 我想跟你聊聊 Wait a minute, I want to talk to you. 229
-你能給我們拍張照嗎 -認真的嗎 - Can you take a picture of us? - Seriously? 230
我剛說了今晚是我這輩子最糟糕的一晚 I just said I was having the worst night of my life. 231
這或許是你這輩子最糟糕的一晚 This might be the worst night of your life. 232
不 當你的青年牧師 Actually, no, that might be 233
在Grindr[男同交友軟件]上給你發消息才算糟糕 when your old youth pastor messages you on Grindr. 234
我們準備好了 Okay, we're ready. 235
但我想說的是 But...my point is, 236
大多數情況下 情況只會變好 對嗎 for the most part, it only goes up, right? 237
你應該拍張照 這樣你就能記住 And you should get a picture to remember 238
你永遠不會再感到這么難過了 that you'll never feel that bad again. 239
我不太懂你意思 I'm not really following you. 240
沒事 That's okay. 241
信息 薩姆 周一 12:20 242
準備好了嗎 You ready? 243
格蕾塔 244
看著像什么 What does it look like? 245
回頭見 See you guys later. 246
你給露西婭拍的照片超級好看 Um, those portraits you took of Lucía are amazing. 247
-你好有才華 -謝謝夸獎 - You're so talented. - Oh, that's so sweet. 248
我幾乎不需要做什么 她眼睛太漂亮了 I barely had to do anything. Her eyes are gorgeous. 249
我迷死她了 I'm obsessed with her. 250
來 我給你看 Here, I'll show you. 251
這是我見過的最棒的照片 This is the most amazing picture I've ever seen. 252
我去 那張失焦了 Oh, shoot, that's out of focus. 253
-我不喜歡那張 -嗯 - Oh, no, I didn't like that one. - Yeah. 254
-抱歉 我只是 -沒事 - I'm sorry, I just... - No. Yeah. 255
焦距很奇怪 It's -- the focus is weird. 256
你是對的 這張 Oh, yeah, you're right. This one. 257
-這張就是我說的超好看的那張 -嗯 - This is the amazing one. - Yeah. 258
你今晚要來嗎 Are you coming tonight? 259
當然 Definitely. 260
好 Cool. 261
安娜 你能幫我化妝嗎 Ana, can you help me with my makeup? 262
什么鬼 當然 What the fuck? Yes. 263
槍 The guns. 264
今晚我們要講講有毒害的男子氣概 Tonight we're gonna have a little kiki about toxic masculinity. 265
這樣 Go like this. 266
然后這樣 Now go like that. 267
再來點 More. 268
不要化太多 好嗎 Not too much makeup, okay? 269
你會指點銀行工作人員怎么數錢嗎 Do you tell a banker how to count money? 270
閉嘴吧 Shut the fuck up. 271
她是誰 Who is she? 272
誰 Who? 273
你待會兒要去見的女生 The girl I'm beating your face for. 274
不是給任何人看的 Oh, uh, it's not for anyone. 275
就是個派對 It's just, you know, a party. 276
少裝了 Bitch, please. 277
我是你姨媽 不是你媽 I'm your aunt, not your mother. 278
我不在乎 I don't care. 279
我難道要叫你該在幾點回家嗎 Am I supposed to tell you to be home at a certain time? 280
-不 -11點 - No. - 11:00! 281
我要殺了你 I'm gonna fucking kill you. 282
1點怎么樣 How about 1:00? 283
謝謝 Thank you. 284
你今天跟她說話了嗎 You talk to her today? 285
誰 Who? 286
你媽媽 Tu mamá. 287
太有壓力了 It's too stressful. 288
我不知道在電話里跟她說什么 I don't know what to say to her on the phone. 289
她只會哭 She just starts crying. 290
搞什么 格蕾塔 別這么自私 What the fuck, Greta? No seas egoísta. 291
我不自私 I am not selfish! 292
我不知道在電話里要跟她說什么 I don't know what to say to her on the phone. 293
你為什么吼我 Why are you yelling at me? 294
換位思考下 Put yourself in her shoes. 295
你在乎她干什么 Why do you care about her? 296
-她是你媽媽 -她對你那么不好 - She's your mother. - She's a total bitch to you. 297
你在她不在的時候看著我們 You watching us while she's gone 298
就是她的噩夢 is, like, her nightmare. 299
也是我的 Yeah, mine, too. 300
安娜 301
-該死 抱歉 -沒事 - Chingada! Sorry. - That's okay. 302
嗨 我的天 Hi! Oh, my God. 303
你的奶子看上去好贊 Your tits look so good. 304
我們能談談那件露臍裝嗎 And, um, can we talk about that crop top? 305
我最討厭性感男生娘化了 I hate it when hot guys go queeny. 306
跟我在一起多好 Like, stay with me, baby. 307
做個男人 Be a man. 308
你說這樣的話你爸爸們不管嗎 Do your dads care that you say shit like that? 309
你偏見好深 Seriously, you're such a bigot. 310
我怎么會有偏見 How can I be a bigot? 311
我家長就是基佬 My parents are fags. 312
你來了 Hey, there you are. 313
你還好嗎 Wait, are you okay? 314
我的天 Oh, my God. 315
抱歉 I'm so sorry. 316
等一下 別走 我馬上回來 Wait, one second. D-Don't move, okay? I'll be right back. 317
嗨 你還好嗎 Hi, hi, are you okay? 318
-我沒事 -我馬上給切斯特發信息 - I'm alright. - I'm texting Chester right now. 319
別管娜奧米 你不需要雙胞胎 Don't worry about Naomi. You don't need a twin. 320
-你有我 -我沒事 - You have me. - I'm fine. 321
我只是眼睛里進了東西 I just got something in my eye. 322
嗨 抱歉 Hi. Sorry. 323
你還好嗎 Are you okay? 324
內森 Nathan? 325
家里的事 Family drama. 326
-你好嗎 -真糟糕 - Hey, how's it going? - Oh. That sucks. 327
你是在哭嗎 Wait, are you crying? 328
-我媽最近... -靠 - My mom recently got, um -- - Fuck. 329
等等 我想跟你聊聊 Wait a minute. I want to talk to you. 330
-你能給我們拍張照嗎 -等下 - Can you take a picture of us? - Yeah, one second. 331
這或許是你這輩子最糟糕的一晚 This might be the worst night of your life. 332
你確定你沒事嗎 Are you sure you're okay? 333
不 當你的青年牧師... Actually, no, that might be when your old youth pastor... 334
嗯 Yeah. 335
我們準備好了 Okay, we're ready. 336
但我想說的是 But my point is... 337
準備好了嗎 You ready? 338
內森 339
對 你想要逼和屌 是嗎 Oh, yeah. You want pussy and dick, don't you? 340
你喜歡那"雙人套餐" You like that double Happy Meal. 341
你想點一個漢堡 一根熱狗 You want to order a burger, a hot dog, 342
還有全部汽水 and all the soda! 343
操 Oh, fuck! 344
該死 娜奧米 那張信用卡是為了緊急狀況準備的 Doggone it, Naomi, that credit card's for emergencies only. 345
那就是緊急狀況 爸 It was an emergency, Dad! 346
在諾德斯特龍百貨買東西 At bleepin' Nordstrom's? 347
是的 在諾德斯特龍百貨買東西 爸 Yes, at bleepin' Nordstrom's, Dad! 348
如果你每月都要來大姨媽的話 If you had a bleepin' monthly visitor 349
而你穿著白褲子 and you were wearing white pants, 350
你或許也得去該死的諾德斯特龍百貨 you might have to go to bleepin' Nordstrom's! 351
所以是的 那是一次... So yeah, it -- it was a bleep-- 352
我今天要去學校參加一個募捐會議 I'm gonna be in school today for a fundraising meeting, 353
所以我可以帶你和你姐姐 so I can take you and your sister 354
去教堂彩排 to church for the rehearsal. 355
萊麗 操 我把書忘在學校里了 那些內容網站上有 好的 你的派對有酒嗎 356
記得穿有領子的襯衣 能讓你顯高 Please wear a collared shirt -- makes you look taller. 357
我們得在放學后馬上出發 門口來見我 We have to leave right after school, so meet me out front. 358
我說了什么 What did I say? 359
-門口見你 -你在跟我說話嗎 - Meet you out front. - Were you talking to me? 360
一放學就去 不 Right after school. No. 361
他們為什么要彩排 Why are they having a rehearsal 362
明明兩周后才舉辦婚禮 when the wedding is two weeks away? 363
因為我們做事有條理 Because we're organized, 364
也因為我要應付市長的祈禱早餐會 and because I have the mayor's prayer breakfast to deal with, 365
已經收到1500份出席回復了 and there are already 1,500 RSVPs. 366
你可以等到吃午飯 我沒錢 媽媽今早給了我5塊 拜托啦 我好餓 紫色點 367
-拜托不要啊 -怎么了 - Oh, no. Please, no. - What? 368
沒什么 Nothing. 369
我今天要去學校開籌款會 I'm gonna be at school today for a fundraising meeting, 370
我現在就可以給你轉20塊 只要你問他們紫色點是指什么 371
所以我可以帶你和你哥 so I can take you and your brother 372
去教堂參加彩排 好嗎 to the church for rehearsal, okay? 373
拜托你穿那條百褶裙 And please wear the pleated skirt. 374
對你的膝蓋好 It's so nice for your knees. 375
紫色點是指什么 What's the purple dot for? 376
-你能嘗嘗這個嗎 老婆 -指雞蛋 - Will you taste this, honey? - Um, eggs. 377
-給我轉錢 -我可以帶你和你哥去教堂 - Venmo me... - I can take you and your brother to the church 378
參加彩排 好嗎 for the rehearsal, okay? 379
在大門口等我 知道嗎 我說什么來著 So meet me out front, okay? What did I say? 380
你們能不能放下手機 聽我說話 Will you put down your phones, please, and listen to me? 381
真讓人抓狂 It's very frustrating, you know, 382
你們堅持把我當這種人看待 that you insist on seeing me in this way. 383
我明明是個無拘無束的人 I am a loose person 384
有許多不同的興趣 with a wide range of interests. 385
我有幸擁有很多朋友 I'm blessed with many, many friends. 386
我欣賞現代藝術 I-I do appreciate modern art. 387
我很喜歡西班牙語 I adore the Spanish language. 388
我是個有血有肉的人 You know, I'm -- I'm a fully formed person, 389
然而你倆堅持把我當 and yet you two -- you insist on seeing me 390
簡筆畫小人看待 like this -- this stick figure, 391
真讓人 and it's very... 392
抓狂 it's frustrating. 393
我們都不是在說你 We weren't even talking about you. 394
內森 Nathan. 395
如果我什么時候開始在白板上安排打炮日程 If I ever start scheduling sex dates on a white board, 396
求你用刀反復捅我好嗎 please just, like, stab me repeatedly. 397
我也一樣 他們為什么要選紫色 Same. Also, why did they choose purple? 398
我本來很喜歡紫色的 I loved purple. 399
現在我每次看見紫色 And now every time I see purple, 400
腦中都會浮現爸媽滾床單的畫面 I think about Dad ramming Mom. 401
看 是杰克 Oh, look, there's Jack. 402
他也太可口了吧 Could he be hotter? 403
你可以跟我們一起玩的 You can hang with us, you know. 404
我可不想當電燈泡 I don't wanna third wheel. 405
隨便你 反正他知道我們無話不談 Whatever. He knows we talk about everything anyway. 406
雖然我告訴你的比你告訴我的多 I mean, I tell you more than you tell me, 407
但那只是因為你性生活為零 but that's just 'cause you're not getting any. 408
你也不過到留下吻痕的程度而已 Literally all you're getting is hickeys. 409
他想讓我給他吹簫 He wants me to blow him. 410
但我不確定要不要 雞雞好丑哦 But I don't know. Dicks are not cute. 411
-他有沒有割包皮 -你好惡心 - Is he even circumcised? - God, you're nasty. 412
-嗨 -寶貝 - Hi. - What's up, baby? 413
你還好嗎 How you doing? 414
該死 Oh, shit. 415
我不覺得男生穿露臍上衣有什么性感可言 See, I don't find a crop top on a guy sexy. 416
我同意 不過他的勇氣很性感 No, I agree, but the ballsiness is... 417
而且一點贅肉都沒有 and the zero body fat. 418
老天 你能不能邀請他參加你今晚的派對 Jesus, can you please invite him to your party tonight? 419
我才不要邀請他 我都不認識他 No, I'm not gonna invite him. I don't know him. 420
娜奧米討厭我 Naomi hates me. 421
她低調地討厭所有人 She low-key hates everyone. 422
還有 她不能開始約會后就無視我 Also, she can't start dating and then ignore me 423
突然不跟我一起看真人秀 and all of a sudden stop watching "The Bachelor" 424
《單身漢》23季了 with me in season 23 425
-然后我交上朋友了她又吃醋 -你好 - and then be jealous of me having friends. - Um, hi. 426
你拍的那張露西婭照片太棒了 Um, that Lucía picture you took is amazing. 427
-你很有才華 -謝謝夸獎 - You're so talented. - Oh, thanks. 428
你今晚來嗎 Are you coming tonight? 429
-肯定來 -好 - Definitely. - Cool. 430
他真他媽是個英雄 What a fucking hero. 431
萊麗 你一定要邀請他 Riley, you need to invite him. 432
我不會邀請他的 I'm not gonna invite him. 433
你要寫什么 What's this gonna say? 434
你們現在復習昨晚的功課 You're reviewing last night's homework, 435
第4 6 7和8題 numbers 4, 6, 7, and 8. 436
第8題我有問題 I had trouble with number 8. 437
-她真煩人 -我們來談談這題 - She's so annoying. - Okay, let's talk about it. 438
好 "物理班男生和女生的比例是3比1 Okay, "The ratio of boys to girls in a physics class is 3:1. 439
如果有6名學生缺席 全班總人數 If six students are absent and the total class number 440
可被6除盡 求問有多少學生是女生" is divisible by six, how many students are girls?" 441
你有什么疑問 德萊拉 What's the problem, Delilah? 442
問題是 The problem is 443
我們所處的世界不只有男生和女生 we don't live in a world of just boys and girls. 444
那些非二元性別的孩子呢 What about non-binary kids? 445
你好 你是誰 萊麗 446
我們假設這個虛構班級里 Well, let's assume that all the students 447
所有學生都是異性戀 in this fictitious class are straight. 448
我認識你嗎 449
你想說的是順性別者吧 I think the word you meant to say is cisgender, 450
但不管怎樣 這道題的答案 but anyways, solving the problem, 451
顯然是物理班里 there are apparently 36 boys 452
有36個男生 12個女生 and apparently 12 girls in a physics class, 453
仔細想想 這很反女權 不是嗎 which, when you think about it, is pretty anti-feminist. 454
不認識 不過你的露臍裝很好看 455
還有那6個缺席的學生 And, like, what about the six absent kids? 456
還有人也這么想嗎 他們沒來上課 Is anyone else thinking they didn't show up 457
是因為他們是非二元性別者 because they are non-binary 458
受夠了被可惡的順性別學生欺負 and felt sick of getting bullied by douchey cisgender kids? 459
好了 我們討論第9題 Well, um, moving on to problem 9. 460
事實上 我對第9題也有疑問 Actually, I also had trouble with number 9. 461
內森 你現在能和我見面嗎 當然可以 462
這邊要上演《魔力麥克》哦 "Magic Mike" stage show over here. 463
講述脫衣舞男經歷的電影 464
這是什么 What is this? 465
賤人 這是吻痕啊 拜托 Bitch, they're hickeys. Come on. 466
天吶 我聽說如果吻痕是細長型的 Oh, my God, I heard if the hickeys are long and skinny 467
那說明對方是個反社會 it means he's a sociopath. 468
但如果是圓形的 對方就是個正常人 But if they're round, he's a normal guy. 469
你的看起來是細長型的 They look kinda long and skinny. 470
真的嗎 Really? 471
還有 有個新西蘭女人因為一個吻痕 Also, a New Zealand woman had a stroke 472
中風了 知道嗎 because of a hickey, okay? 473
-你開玩笑的吧 -你要小心點 - You're joking. - So be careful. 474
他的嘴巴能致命 His mouth is lethal. 475
-你在干什么 -很好笑嘛 - What are you doing? - It's funny. 476
才不好笑 你手機給我 No, it's not funny! Give me your phone. 477
-不 -把手機給我 - No. - Give me your phone! 478
-不 -你為什么非要這么賤啊 - No! - Why do you have to be such a douche? 479
去你媽的 Fuck you! 480
行吧 又去跟老媽告狀吧 我不在乎 Fine, snitch on me to Mom again. I don't care! 481
好了 大家感覺如何 Okay, how's everybody feeling? 482
有點小緊張 很正常 A little nervous? It's normal. 483
我會簡單介紹下 Okay, so I'll make a brief intro, 484
然后我會說幾句關于你的話 then I'll say a few words about you... 485
長按可查看 486
關于你家人對這座教堂有多么重要 ...about how much your family has meant to this church. 487
拜托 別別別 Oh, please, no, no, no, no. 488
他們稱其為極樂小徑[腹毛] 489
不 你什么都不用說 No, you don't have to say anything. 490
我不能占主要地位 我不是主角 I couldn't possibly dominate this. It's not about me. 491
-你知道 -娜塔莉亞才是 - You know -- - It's about Natalia. 492
這是娜塔莉亞的大日子 This is Natalia's day. 493
-我需要說點什么 梅根和馬克 -不 - I do need to say something, Megan and Mark. - No. 494
該你了 我在教堂 好性感 495
天吶 你為我們所做的貢獻 My goodness, what you have done for us -- 496
不 真的 別說了 我們只是在盡力而已 No, really, please, it's not -- it's -- we do what we can. 497
長按可查看 498
好 我會朗讀《哥林多前書》的內容 Okay, so I'll be reading from 1 Corinthians. 499
愛是恒久忍耐 又有恩慈 "Love is patient, love is kind. 500
愛是不嫉妒 愛是不自夸 It does not envy, it does not boast, 501
不張狂 it is not proud. 502
今晚見 我說不好 我有點負罪感 503
不作害羞的事 不求自己的益處 It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, 504
不輕易發怒 不計算人的惡 it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 505
不喜歡不義 只喜歡真理 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 506
凡事包容 凡事相信 It always protects, always trusts, 507
凡事盼望 凡事忍耐 always hopes, always perseveres." 508
你能保密嗎 Can you please just keep it a secret? 509
你剛說你不是同志的 You just said you're not gay. 510
我不是 I'm not! 511
你為什么要錄下來 Why would you even record that? 512
跟你拍照的原因是一樣的 For the same reason you took the picture. 513
-那是個玩笑 -我也是啊 - It was a joke! - Me too! 514
我怎么會知道我錄的是基片 How was I supposed to know I was recording gay porn? 515
那不是基片 It's not gay. 516
一個男的給一個男的發屌照 A guy sending a guy dick pics? 517
還有比這更基的事嗎 What could be gayer than that? 518
你為什么不告訴我 Why wouldn't you tell me? 519
-沒什么可說的 -我什么都跟你說 - There's nothing to tell. - I tell you everything. 520
我跟你說我甚至可能會用手摸屌 I told you I might even touch a dick. 521
也許用手摸屌很不一樣 Okay, well, maybe touching a dick is very different. 522
我的天 Oh, my God. 523
如果你想互相隱瞞 那我奉陪 If you want to do secrets and shit, fine, we'll do it. 524
-我只是 我以為我們 -什么 - I just -- I thought we were -- - What? 525
我不知道 我以為我們不是那樣的 I don't know, like, not like that. 526
但如果你給任何人看那照片 But if you show anyone that picture, 527
我會給全校投影這視頻 I will project this video on top of the fucking school. 528
操 抱歉 Fuck! Sorry. 529
我不請自來了 Oh, hey. I totally crashed. 530
搞死這些烏龜 Let's fuck those turtles up! 531
杰克 我能跟你談談嗎 Hey, Jack, can I, um, talk to you for a minute? 532
嗯 Yeah. 533
這是 This is, um... 534
你感覺可恥嗎 Do you feel shitty? 535
因為我感覺可恥 娜奧米看到了我們的聊天 'Cause I feel shitty, and Naomi saw the chat -- 536
她不會知道的 She's not gonna find out. 537
而且本來也不意味著什么 對嗎 And it's not like it means anything, right? 538
-只是打炮 -嗯 - It's just -- just a hookup? - Yeah. 539
-抱歉 -沒事 - Mm, mm. Sorry. - It's okay. 540
你想嗎 Do you want to? 541
我不知道 I don't know, um... 542
哥們 你射進我眼睛了 Oh, dude, you just came in my fucking eye! 543
等一下 好嗎 Wait, one second, okay? 544
等等 我馬上回來 Hold on. I'll be right back. 545
-你還好嗎 -我沒事 - Hey. Are you okay? - I'm fine. 546
我馬上給切斯特發信息 Okay, I'm texting Chester right now. 547
你得在他走之前跟他聊聊 You gotta talk to him before he leaves. 548
別管娜奧米 Hey, don't worry about Naomi. 549
你不需要雙胞胎 你有我 You don't need a twin. You have me. 550
我沒事 我只是需要點水 I'm fine, I just need some water. 551
-嗨 -內森 - Hi. - Nathan? 552
你好嗎 Hey, how's it going? 553
你是在哭嗎 Wait, are you crying? 554
沒 今晚是我這輩子最糟糕的一晚 No, I'm having the worst night of my fucking life. 555
-操 --真糟糕 - Fuck! - That sucks. 556
等等 我想跟你聊聊 Wait a minute, I want to talk to you. 557
你能給我們拍張照嗎 Hey, can you take a picture of us? 558
-等下 -認真的嗎 - Yeah, one second. - Seriously? 559
我剛說了今晚是我這輩子最糟糕的一晚 I just said I was having the worst night of my life. 560
這或許是你這輩子最糟糕的一晚 You might be having the worst night of your life. 561
不 當你的青年牧師 Actually, no, that might be 562
在Grindr上給你發消息才算糟糕 when your old youth pastor messages you on Grindr. 563
但我想說的是 But my point is... 564
你永遠不會再感到這么難過了 ...that you'll never feel this bad again. 565
我不太懂你意思 I'm not really following you. 566
沒事 It's okay. 567
你明天能再跟我說說嗎 But will you remind me tomorrow? 568
聽上去像是件我想要記住的事 It sounds like something I really want to remember. 569
準備好了嗎 You ready? 570
我在切斯特面前有多出糗 How badly did I embarrass myself in front of Chester? 571
你挺好的 他很喜歡你 You were fine. He liked you. 572
但是 But? 573
沒有但是 But nothing. 574
但是什么 But what? 575
他說你很可愛 He said you were really sweet. 576
你真的跟娜奧米說你是雙嗎 Did you actually tell Naomi you're bi? 577
沒 No. 578
我不敢相信我和杰克搞了 I can't believe I hooked up with Jack. 579
沒事 It's okay. 580
有事 It's really not. 581
如果我有姐妹 我絕對什么都不做 If I had a sister, I would literally do nothing 582
只會上她男友 but fuck her boyfriends. 583
是嗎 Yeah? 584
嗯 Yeah. 585
你在派對上玩得開心嗎 Did you have fun at your party? 586
倒沒有改變人生 Not in a life-altering way. 587
不過是挺開心的 But yeah, it was fun. 588
你繼續睡吧 You should go back to bed. 589
你能睡在我旁邊嗎 Will you sleep next to me? 590
當然 Sure. 591
馬上 In a bit.