原創翻譯 雙語字幕
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翻譯 伊森澤生 冰島豆腐
翻譯 白夜君 carolgcz
時間軸 無關風粵
校對 伊森澤生
后期 漁夫
總監 蘇葵
2019年叉子節 Fork Fest 2019.
有那么片刻 我都忘了我身在何方了 For a moment I almost forgot where I was.
依然是地獄 Still hell.
你竟然對別人按喇叭了 You honked at someone?
一個最高時速是步行速度的小鎮 消息傳得可真快 News travels fast for a town whose speed limit is mosey.
在康利叉鎮 我們是不按喇叭的 We don't honk in Conley Fork.
除非是要把一頭牛從路上嚇走 Unless you're trying to scare a cow off the road.
或者你的朋友開著車睡著了 Or if your buddy's asleep at the wheel
你想輕輕地把他喚醒 and you're trying to gently wake him up.
我是紐約來的 Well, I am from New York,
按喇叭是我做過的最人畜無害的事了 and honking is the least offensive thing that I do.
好了 拿出樂譜來 Come on, take your music.
容我說句話 作為傳教士 If I may. As a missionary,
我發現要想被別人接納 最快的方法 I found the quickest way to gain acceptance
就是適應當地的風俗人情 is by adopting local customs.
-加油 野貓隊 -加油 - Go Wildcats! - Go!
我當年成為全國最出色的音樂系系主任 I became head of one of the best music departments in the country
可沒有在意過要被接納 without caring about being accepted.
為何現在要開始在意 Why start now?
因為現在你生活在小鎮上 'Cause now you live in a small town.
你會需要這些人 You're gonna need this people.
你的好名聲就是你的通用貨幣 And your good reputation is your currency.
一旦失去 就再也找不回來了 Once you lose it, you can't get it back,
就跟骨盆底一樣 just like your pelvic floor.
我的骨盆底沒問題 依然很強健 Not mine. She's still sturdy.
我的確會在意 I do care about my reputation
我在知識界和上流社會的名聲 among people of intellect and refinement...
在這里不會 so, not here.
我們也很高端大氣上檔次啊 We're sophisticated.
叉子節是展現本地才藝的大舞臺 And Fork Fest is a hot bed of local talent.
我們的唱詩班向來都是人民群眾的最愛 And our choir is always a crowd favorite.
我們選擇的歌曲總是能把他們震撼得五體投地 We always knock their socks off with our music selection.
除非本地的喬·科克爾翻唱樂隊也在場 I mean, unless the local Joe Cocker cover band is there,
叫「假科克爾」樂隊 Faux Cocker.
去年 我們唱了一首有關上帝之愛的歌曲 Last year, we sang a song about God's love,
MC哈默的《你觸碰不到我》 MC Hammer's "You Can't Touch This."
簡直棒極了 And it was awesome.
你們對于"棒極了"的定義跟我不一樣 Your definition of awesome is different from mine.
你們的定義是錯的 And yours is wrong.
不 叉子節真的很棒 No, Fork Fest is awesome.
我們總是會參加吃餡餅比賽 We always do the pie-eating contest.
但今年或許不會 But maybe not this year
因為我父母離婚了 because of the divorce.
不 我們當然會參加的 Oh, no, of course, we will.
我們還是一家人 并且我們都喜歡吃餡餅 We're still a family, and we all still love pie.
是啊 當然了 Yeah, we sure do.
我從九年級的那節體育課就開始愛上餡餅了 I mean, I've loved pie since ninth grade gym class.
所以我發了婚誓 要跟餡餅相愛到老 That's why I made a vow to pie.
但可悲的是 餡餅放棄了我 But sadly, pie gave up on me
因為我把餡餅的信用卡評分搞成了個位數 when I got pie's credit score into the single digits.
我還對大胡桃過敏 I'm also allergic to pecan.
什么 What?
-我身上會起疹子 -我們懂了 - I get a rash- - We got it.
-打住 -韋恩 - Stop it. - Wayne.
完美和聲 第一季 第二集
如果我們的離婚 I'm gonna feel so guilty
毀掉了卡什的叉子節體驗 我會很愧疚的 if this divorce ruins Fork Fest for Cash.
這向來都是一年當中最快樂的時光 It's always just been the most wonderful time of the year.
是啊 因為圣誕節缺少了 Of course, because Christmas lacks
油炸食物和動物農耕令人無法抗拒的結合 that irresistible combination of fried food and animal husbandry.
我和韋恩的第一個吻就是在那個時候發生的 It's where Wayne and I had our first kiss.
我們也是在節慶時訂的婚 We got engaged there.
卡什就是個叉子寶寶 Cash is a Fork baby.
簡直令人難以置信 It's unbelievable.
把路就這么堵起來 Blocking the middle of the road.
你急什么啊 Why are you in such a rush?
因為我要錯過... 'Cause I'm missing...
沒什么 不過還是很煩人 nothing, but still.
這太荒唐了 This is ridiculous.
亞瑟 你敢按 我們才談過這個問題 Arthur, don't you dare. We just talked about this.
我不會按喇叭的 I'm not gonna honk the horn.
這里還有人等著呢 People are waiting here!
你是瘋了嗎 Are you crazy?
自從我妻子去世后 我就很抑郁 I'm depressed since my wife just died.
我不知道在你看來這算不算有精神病 I'm not sure if that falls under your definition of mental illness.
那可是杰瑞·布萊文斯 That's Jerry Blevins.
哪個是杰瑞·布萊文斯 Which one is Jerry Blevins?
是那個長著大胡子 開著小貨車的人 The one with the beard and the truck,
還是那個開著小貨車 長著大胡子的人 or the one with the truck and the beard?
杰瑞負責排叉子節的節目出場順序 Jerry schedules the entertainment at Fork Fest,
如果他對我們不滿 and if we get on his bad side,
就會給我們安排一個爛時間檔 he'll give us a crummy time slot.
他又不知道我是誰 Well, he doesn't know who I am,
也不知道我跟唱詩班的關系 or that I'm connected with the choir.
不 你不明白 No, you don't get it.
這里任何事都會成為茶余飯后的談資 Nothing goes un-talked-about here.
鎮上就你這一輛外來車 You got the only foreign car in town,
所有人都知道這車屬于那個憤怒的北方佬 and everybody knows it belongs to the angry Yankee
管著2號第一教堂的唱詩班 who runs Second First's choir.
他們稱我們是「北佬投機者」唱詩班 They call us the carpetbagger choir.
不 應該是北佬投機者和唱詩班 No, it should be the carpetbagger and the choir.
我的頭銜應該在前面 I get first billing.
-終于好了 -天吶 - Oh, finally. - Oh, God.
我就說吧 I told you so.
杰瑞給我們安排的時間檔和拖拉機拖拽比賽重合 Jerry gave us a time slot up against a tractor pull.
令我頗為絕望的是 It's devastating to me
你們竟然以為我會明白那是什么意思 that you would expect me to know what that means.
誰會不知道拖拉機拖拽比賽是什么 Who doesn't know what a tractor pull is?
我就不... I do not--
好吧 我懂了 我懂了 Okay, okay. I get it, I get it.
的確不夠理想 It's less than ideal.
不夠理想 Less than ideal?
他們根本就聽不見我們唱歌 They're not gonna be able to hear us.
我本來希望通過即興的節奏吸引年輕新潮的成員 My hopes of attracting hip, young members to the church
加入教會 現在這希望泡湯了 with our happening beats are dashed.
他們生氣 我就生氣 When they're mad, I'm mad.
-你們很生氣 沒錯吧 -沒錯 - You guys are mad, right? - Yeah.
你做錯了事 You made it wrong,
現在你必須糾正 and now you gotta make it right.
我給杰瑞打個電話 I'll call Jerry.
他是有電話的 對吧 He does have a phone, doesn't he?
我們又不是鄉巴佬 亞瑟 We're not a bunch of bumpkins, Arthur.
他當然有電話 Of course, he has a phone.
-他沒有電話 -天吶 - He doesn't have a phone. - Oh, my God.
亞瑟 這里是南方 Arthur, this is the south.
你不能直接打電話找人說事 You can't just call people on the phone.
你必須跟他們面對面地談 You gotta meet with them face to face.
如果你想修復跟杰瑞的關系 If you want to make it right with Jerry,
就必須按照我們的方法來 you're gonna have to do it our way.
憑借智慧 風度和優雅 With tact and grace and elegance.
沒錯 給他做一份砂鍋面 Yes, make him a noodle casserole.
太對了 Ooh. Yes.
我的秘密配方是加入人造黃油 My secret ingredient is margarine.
-人造黃油嗎 -我就是這么說的 人造黃油 - Margarine? - That's what I said, margarine.
-人造黃油 -老天吶 - Margarine. - Jesus.
月虹乳制品店
你還記得高中時跟你結下梁子的女孩嗎 You know that girl you had beef with in high school?
-斯黛芬妮 -不是 - Stephanie. - No.
-坦婭 -不是 - Tanya? - No.
-大個子坦婭 -不是 - Tall Tanya? - No.
姑娘 或許問題在你身上 Girl, maybe you were the problem.
等等 你是說... Oh, wait, you mean...
凱米·貝爾 Kimmy Bell!
吉妮 Ginny!
我總是忘記你還在這里工作 I always forget you still work here.
人生中有一件事多年不變 感覺真好 It's so nice that you can keep some things in your life consistent.
謝謝你的關心啊 Oh, it's so kind of you to be concerned.
聽說你離婚了 So the divorce...
是怎么回事啊 是你的錯嗎 what happened? Was it your fault?
還是他的錯 或者是孩子的錯 Was it his fault? Was it the kid's fault?
這是你的食物 凱米 Here's your food, Kimmy.
我多加了些粗燕麥粉 給你媽享用 And I put some extra grits in there for your mama
以及她的那條狗 and that little dog of hers
那條跟她長得幾乎一模一樣的狗 she bears a striking resemblance to.
謝謝你了啊 Thank you.
保佑你的心 Bless your heart.
保佑她的那顆黑心 Bless her farming heart.
你知道這還只是個開始 對吧 You know that's just the start, right?
叉子節將是你們分開后 Fork Fest will be your first
你的首次公開亮相 public appearance since the breakup.
到時候大家肯定都會問你這事 It's all anyone is gonna be asking you about.
我不會回應的 I just won't answer.
那只會讓事情變得更糟 That's only gonna make it worse.
你知道當年凱斯去世后 Did you know after Keith died,
鎮上有傳言說是我殺了他嗎 a rumor went around town that I murdered him?
什么 不 當真嗎 What? No. Really?
你死去的丈夫凱斯 Your dead husband Keith?
作為女人 我認識到 I learned, as a woman,
你必須搶先控制輿論 you have to control the narrative.
要么你主動講出事實 要么別人就會胡編亂造 Either you tell the story, or people make up their own.
好了 我沒辦法告訴別人 Okay, listen, I can't exactly tell people
他總是表現得像我的二胎 that he often felt like a second child,
并且把我們終身的積蓄 and spent our entire life savings
都浪費在了一個愚蠢的商業點子上 on an idiotic business idea.
豆袋褲 Beanbag pants.
豆袋褲是個什么鬼 What's a beanbag pant?
簡直太離譜了 對吧 I mean, really. Right?
那真是個糟糕透頂的點子 That's a terrible idea.
但還是要說出事實 But it's still the truth.
然后呢 那會影響到卡什的 So? It'll get back to Cash.
我絕不會對他的父親有任何負面評價 And I am not saying one negative thing about his father,
那是最終決定 and that is final.
或許你應該擔心的是你自己的名聲 Maybe you should worry about your own reputation,
因為名聲一旦毀了 就無法挽救了 'cause once it's gone, you can't get it back.
就當是我這個女殺人犯給你的忠告吧 Take is from a murderess.
什么 才不會 沒人這么認為 What, no? Nobody thinks that.
我們讀書俱樂部的人從不談論這事 We never talk about it at book club.
月虹乳制品店
卡什和我明天早上10點去接你 So Cash and I are gonna pick up tomorrow morning
去參加叉子節 for Fork Fest at 10 A.M.
好的 不過別遲到了 Okay, but don't be late.
我們得趕在金魚死掉前 先參加乒乓球比賽 We gotta get to the ping-pong game before all the goldfish die.
我們要先說好 And just so we're on the same page,
不準談論我們分開的事 no talking about the breakup.
肯定會有很多人問 There's gonna be a lot of people asking,
我希望我們能統一戰線 and I want to be a united front.
如果你真的想確保不出問題 You really want to be on the safe side,
為何我們不繼續在一起呢 why don't we stay together?
注意 杰瑞剛剛停車了 Okay, okay, Jerry just pulled up.
記住 Now remember,
跟他形成私人的情感聯系 make a personal connection with him.
沒錯 但別太私密了 Yeah, but not too personal.
要輕松愉快一點 Have fun with it. Keep it light.
但不必害怕使用「死去的老婆」這一招 But don't be afraid to play the dead wife card.
以輕松快樂的方式 In a fun, light way.
問他關于他的兒子杰森的事 Ask about his son Jason.
不過別提起他兒子杰倫 But not his son Jalen.
他搬去加州了 杰瑞討厭加州 He moved to California, and Jerry hates California.
但他喜歡加州披薩廚房 But he loves California Pizza Kitchen.
這是保持輕松的范例 That's an example of keeping it light.
還真是那個開小貨車的大胡子 Oh, it is the guy with the beard and the truck.
然后鴨子說 "你在逗我嗎" And the duck said, "What, are you kidding me?
"我不是猶太潔食" "I'm not kosher."
我該走了 Well, I should get going.
豬可不會自己喂食 I reckon them hogs ain't gonna feed themselves.
除非它們能給自己喂正宗的 Well, unless they could feed themselves the original
加州披薩廚房的燒烤雞排沙拉 barbecue chicken chop salad form California Pizza Kitchen.
那是我最愛的沙拉 That's my favorite salad.
幾乎沒有蔬菜 Hardly an vegetables.
你說得太對了 You got that right.
-杰瑞 跟你交流太開心了 -是啊 - Oh, Jerry, this was great. - Yeah.
你完全沒有別人說的那么差勁 You know, you ain't nearly as bad everybody says you are.
謝謝 聊天愉快 I appreciate it. Nice talking to you.
-你也是 -好了 兄弟 - Yeah, you, too. - Okay, buddy.
洗手液 不是吧你 Hand sanitizer? Really?
當然 有何不可 Yeah, of course. Why not?
你這是在暗示他臟 You implied he was dirty.
他是養豬的 直接從農場趕來的 He's a hog farmer who came here straight from work.
洗手液不是侮辱 是必要的衛生措施 Hand sanitizer isn't an insult. It's a medical necessity.
每個人都能把我惡心吐 但我有良好的家教 Everybody grosses me out, but I was raised properly.
我和杰瑞聊得很開心 我們笑了 I had a great talk with Jerry. We laughed.
我們發現我們有共同點 We found out we had things in common.
我敢說到了今晚 就會有更新版的時間安排 I'll bet by tonight, we'll have an updated lineup.
老天 Oh, Jesus.
我們都被除名了 We been dropped from the lineup altogether.
2019叉子節
這是我們的唱詩班有史以來第一次不能表演 First time we won't be performing in the history of our choir.
杰瑞心胸狹隘 我... Jerry is petty in a way I...
我真的很佩服 I really admire.
那我們就有更多時間參加 That'll leave more time for, what,
套馬鈴薯袋奔跑比賽 potato-sack racing
以及用機器拖拽其他機器的比賽 and pulling machinery with other machinery.
如果我們不表演 Well, if we're not performing,
你也就沒有去的必要了 there's no reason for you to come.
經過這樣精心的準備 我是不會錯過的 Well, I'm not gonna miss it after this buildup.
我們不歡迎你參加叉子節 We don't want you to come to Fork Fest.
你在這個小鎮聲名狼藉 Your reputation is shot in this town,
我們不能被人看到和你一起公開出現 所以... and we can't afford to be seen with you in public, so...
你是團體里的老好人 And you're the nice one.
是啊 他們就是這樣逼我 Yeah, that's how they bullied me
來通知你這個決定的 into being the one to tell you.
2019叉子節 歡迎
?我們要唱一首歌? ♪ We will sing one song ♪
?為了我的家鄉肯塔基? ♪ For my old Kentucky home ♪
?遙遠的家鄉? ♪ Far away ♪
大家好 歡迎參加2019叉子節 Hello, everybody, welcome to Fork Fest 2019!
這注定將成為史上最棒的一次叉子節 This is fixing to be the best Fork Fest yet.
我希望你們一直玩到天黑黑 Now I want you to play till the cows come home...
吃飽喝足 Eat till you're as full as a tick...
慶祝到筋疲力竭 And celebrate till you're worn flat out.
伊諾贏得了最光滑皮毛稱號 Enoch won glossiest coat!
好樣的 伊諾 Good job, Enoch.
現在登上主舞臺的是 Now coming to our main stage
康利叉鎮最火的家庭踢踏舞舞團 is Conley Fork's most popular family clog troupe,
「誰把踢踏舞放了出來」 Who Let the Clogs Out!
改自"誰把狗放了出來"
查伯蘭茲2號第一教堂 檸檬水
你和韋恩的事我很遺憾 So sorry about you and Wayne.
沒必要覺得遺憾 No need to be sorry.
韋恩仍然是我最好的朋友 Wayne's still my best friend.
他人太好了 He's just too great of a guy
沒那么容易從我的生活里逃走 to let out of my life that easily.
那到底是出了什么事 So then what happened?
事實是韋恩... The truth is Wayne--
事實是韋恩是個很棒的父親 The truth is Wayne is a wonderful father.
-對嗎 卡什 -是啊 當然 - Right, Cash? - Sure. Yeah.
姑娘 我記得你和韋恩交往的時候 Girl, I remember when you and Wayne were dating,
他弄壞了你爸爸的貨車 and he wrecked your daddy's truck.
我當時就知道他不適合結婚 I knew then he wasn't the marrying type.
實際上 就是那天晚上 Well, actually, that's the night
我知道我想嫁給他 I knew I wanted to marry him.
我侄女的老公出軌了 My niece's husband cheated on her...
對象是他的足科醫生 with his podiatrist.
那我走運了 Oh, well, lucky for me,
韋恩有一顆金子般的心和一雙好腳 Wayne has a heart of gold, and really great feet.
我找不到比他更好的丈夫了 I couldn't have made a better choice for a husband.
我差點就用他的名字給這家伙取名了 I almost named this one after him,
但我不希望他被嘲跟歌手李爾·韋恩同名 but I didn't want him to deal with all the Lil Wayne jokes.
你處理這事的方式很高尚 The way you're handling all this is very noble,
但他估計不會這么維護你 but I'm not sure he would do the same for you,
畢竟你臨產的時候 他還讓你開車 considering when you were in labor, he made you drive.
他當時醉了 Oh, he was drunk.
你好啊 韋恩 我給你買了叉子熱狗 Hey, Wayne. I got you a hot dog on a fork.
你太好了 Oh, that's mighty kind of you.
吃叉子熱狗就得配上叉子麗塔雞尾酒 You can't have a hotdog on a fork without a Forkarita.
我不知道我做了什么 值得你們對我這么好 Can't say I know what I did to deserve all this,
但我很喜歡 but I like it,
我還喜歡你們兩個統一的長袖牛仔襯衫 and I like your matching long shirt denim things.
你有一顆金子般的心 You have a heart of gold.
吉妮卻看不到 她真是個傻瓜 And the fact that Ginny didn't see that makes her a fool.
我確實有顆善良的心 不是嗎 I do have a good heart, don't I?
胸肌也不錯 Nice pecs, too.
天啊 我看起來一定很餓 My God, I must look hungry.
早就該知道吉妮不像她表現出來的那么好 Should've known that Ginny is not the nice person she pretends to be.
畢竟她是那個女殺人犯的朋友 After all, she is friends with that murderess.
更糟的是 Worse...
她跟那個按喇叭的美國佬也是朋友 she's friends with that honking Yankee.
南方禮儀的天才指南
別擔心 亞瑟 我能開門 Don't worry, Arthur. It's open.
幸虧我沒赤身裸體 You're lucky I'm not naked.
你確定你想被人看到和我在一起嗎 You sure you want to be seen with me?
我不會毀了你的名聲嗎 I'm not gonna destroy your reputation?
我壓根沒想這事 Didn't even cross my mind.
你得跟我說說關于這個小鎮的一切 You're gonna have to spell this town out for me.
我知道送砂鍋面的意思是"對不起" I know a noodle casserole means I'm sorry.
蛋糕上有一個饑餓的小妖精是什么意思 What does a cake with a hungry leprechaun on it mean?
意思是我贏了步態舞比賽 It means I won this in a cakewalk,
并且我覺得你可能餓了 and I thought you might be hungry.
不 我不餓 No, I'm not hungry.
這位是尤斯塔斯·康利 This is Eustace Conley,
康利叉鎮的創立者 founder of Conley Fork.
他真好吃 He's delicious.
故事是這樣的 The story goes,
尤斯塔斯·康利來到一個交叉路口 Eustace Conley came to a fork in the road.
他走了很長的路 已經很累了 He was so exhausted from his already long journey,
他不知道該走哪條路 he couldn't decide which way to go,
所以他做了他唯一能想到的事 so he did the only thing he could think to do.
什么事 Which was?
他扭頭往回走 He turned back.
但出人意料的是 當他轉過身之后 Now wouldn't you know, when he turned,
他撞上了一頭兇猛的老黑熊 he was face to face with a mean, old black bear.
尤斯塔斯害怕極了 Now Eustace was terrified,
所以他做了他唯一能想到的事 so he did the only thing he could think to do.
他又轉過身往回走嗎 He turned back again?
他舉起了拳頭 準備戰斗 He put up his fists to fight.
"嘿 懦夫" 他大喊著 "Hey, coward," He yelled.
"我猜你肯定想吃我一拳" I bet you want a piece of this.
出人意料的是 盡管是虛張聲勢 Well, wouldn't you know, despite is bravado,
熊還是對尤斯塔斯發起了進攻 the bear charged Eustace anyway.
所以尤斯塔斯做了他唯一能想到的事 So Eustace did the only thing he could think to do.
我猜不到了 I don't have clue.
尤斯塔斯太難猜了 Eustace is proving unpredictable.
他躺下裝死了 He laid down and played dead.
熊把他虐了個半死 但還是留下了他的小命 The bear mauled half of him, but kept him alive.
由于身上多了很多可怕的傷口 Now on account of his horrific wounds,
尤斯塔斯沒法繼續走下去了 Eustace was unable to travel,
所以他做了他唯一能想到的事 so he did the only thing he could think to do.
他在這個叫做"康利叉"的地方安營扎寨了 He made camp in this very place we call Conley Fork.
謝謝你的蛋糕 Well, thank you for the cake.
你就是尤斯塔斯·康利 You are Eustace Conley.
熊就是你的壞名聲 The bear is your bad reputation,
唱詩班就是你的小毛驢 and the choir is your little donkey.
我的小什么 My little what?
熊吃了尤斯塔斯的毛驢 The bear ate Eustace's donkey.
我忘了提這點嗎 Did I leave that out?
牧師 我在努力弄明白這些規矩 Rev, I'm trying to figure out the rules,
但這些人已經對我下定論了 but these people have already made up their mind about me.
不管我做什么 他們都不會接納我的 No matter what I do, they're not gonna accept me.
如果其他辦法都不管用 When all else fails,
向他們展示你是他們的一員 show that you're one of them.
那是永遠不可能的 That's never gonna happen.
歡迎來到2019年吃餡餅大賽 Welcome to the 2019 pie-eating contest.
看到了嗎 我們全家一起參加吃餡餅大賽 See? We're all doing the pie-eating contest together.
從去年開始 什么都沒變 Nothing's changed since last year.
-爸爸穿了件襯衫 -不是我想穿的 - Dad's wearing a shirt. - Not by choice, buddy.
他們改了規則 They changed the rules.
好了 第一個吃完餡餅的人獲勝 All right--first one to finish their pie wins.
不能用手 不能用吸管 不能吐出來 No hands, no straws, no vomiting!
韋恩雖然很蠢 但卻很性感 Wayne's as dumb as he is smoking hot.
我一直以為他會是導致他們的婚姻破裂的人 I always assumed he was the one who screwed things up with her.
-就是啊 -但她對他的評價都是好話 - Yeah. - But she can't say enough nice things about him.
-因為罪惡感 -什么罪惡感 - It's guilt. - Guilt for what?
這還不明顯嗎 吉妮背著韋恩出軌了 Isn't it obvious? Ginny cheated on Wayne.
真的嗎 這就是他離開她的原因嗎 Really? Is that why he left her?
-他們覺得我出軌了 -不是啦 - They think I cheated on you? - No...
最后一條規則 不許作弊[出軌]Okay, one last rule. No cheating.
你聽到了嗎 吉妮 Did you hear that, Ginny?
誰準備好吃餡餅了 Now who's ready for some pie?
你不打算維護我一下嗎 Aren't you gonna defend me?
我準備好吃餡餅了 I'm ready for some pie!
你為什么不站出來說句話 Why didn't you say something?
你叫我什么都別說的 You told me not to say anything.
但你知道我沒有背著你出軌 But you know I didn't cheat on you.
-我沒說你出軌啊 -你也沒說我沒出軌 - I never said you did. - Well you didn't say I didn't.
-所以呢 -所以 - So? - So?
-是啊 所以呢 -所以現在顯得我是壞人 - Yeah, so? - So, I look like the bad guy.
-畢竟... -畢竟什么 - Well... - Well, what?
我不是那個離開的人 I'm not the one who left.
你這話什么意思 What does that mean?
也許這一次 你就是壞人 Maybe just this once, you are the bad guy.
贏家誕生了 And we have a winner!
你被取消資格了 And that's a disqualification.
贏家是吉妮 I guess the winner is Ginny.
常言道 江山易改 本性難移 They say a leopard doesn't change her spots.
作弊[出軌]Cheater.
他們為什么這么叫你 媽 Why are they calling you that, Mom?
你要去哪里 Where are you going?
亞瑟 你怎么會來這里 Arthur, what are you doing here?
只是想融入大家 表明我不是一個勢利小人 Just--I'm trying to fit in, show I'm not a snob.
放棄吧 沒這必要了 Well, give up. There's no point.
他們一旦對你這個人下了定論 Once they make their mind up about you,
就不會再改變了 they'll never change it.
-你沒事吧 -這么說吧 - You okay? - Let's just say that
現在我的名聲比你的更加深陷泥潭 my reputation is more in the mud than yours.
有時候你就得勇敢地去泥潭里打滾才行 Well sometimes you just gotta embrace being in the mud.
讓開 Make way.
本北方佬想試一把 This Yankee wants a turn.
什么情況啊 What is happening?
我的豬正在跟你們的混蛋北方佬競技呢 My pigs is giving your jerk Yankee a run for his money.
過來 過來 Come here. Come here.
加油 亞瑟 你行的 加油 Come on, Arthur. You got this--let's go!
你可以的 You got this!
加油 亞瑟 加油 亞瑟 Go, Arthur! Go Arthur!
上啊 上啊 上啊 亞瑟 Go, go, go--go, Arthur!
加油 亞瑟 你不可以放棄 Come on, Arthur-- you can't quit.
為什么不能 尤斯塔斯·康利就放棄了 Why not? Eustace Conley was a quitter.
看來他抓到了 各位 Well, looks like he did it, folks.
你最好在開懷大笑 琴 You better be laughing at this, Jean.
你覺得我會握你那臟手嗎 You think I'm gonna shake that filthy hand?
洗手液也洗不掉這個味兒 是吧 Hand sanitizer's not gonna get the smell off that, is it?
是的 No.
但我敬你是個不怕臟的人 But I respect a man who's not afraid to get dirty.
如果6點你們還在 我們需要一場表演 We could use an act at six, if your group is still here.
我們或許能做到 We might be able to do that.
我很開心 I'm happy!
這件襯衫只能干洗 This blouse is dry-clean only.
?我已歸來 就像我未曾離去? ♪ You know I am back like I never left ♪
?我未曾離去? ♪ I never left ♪
?追逐夢想 我從未睡去? ♪ Been chasing dreams but I never slept ♪
?那男孩有精彩的話要說 好吧 好吧? ♪ Whoo, that boy got bars, okay, okay ♪
?我的確是? ♪ Yes I do ♪
?我說阿門 哈利路亞 讓我作證? ♪ I said amen and hallelujah, let me testify too ♪
?又一天清晨 清晨? ♪ Another morning, a morning ♪
?別讓自我擋住去路? ♪ Don't let self get in my way ♪
?我能呼吸 我有信仰? ♪ I got my breath, I got my faith ♪
?我記得我為何而來? ♪ And I remember why I came ♪
?我感到榮耀無比 榮耀無比? ♪ I feel glorious, glorious ♪
?找到機會 (重新開始)? ♪ Got a chance... (To start again) ♪
?我為此? ♪ I was... ♪
?而生 為此而生? ♪ Born for this, born for this ♪
?我就是這樣 我怎能忘記? ♪ It's who I am... How could I forget? ♪
?我走過最黑的夜? ♪ I made it through the darkest part of the night ♪
?此刻我迎著日出? ♪ And now I see the sunrise ♪
?我感到榮耀無比 榮耀無比? ♪ Now I feel glorious, glorious ♪
抱歉 抱歉 Sorry, sorry, sorry.
很抱歉打斷大家 I'm sorry for the interruption, uh...
我就想澄清一件事 I just...I need to set the record straight.
吉妮沒有出軌 Ginny never cheated on me.
她永遠都不會這么做 She'd never do that.
因為 'Cause...
她是我遇到過的最好的人 she's the best person I ever met.
我從沒離開過她 是她離開了我 And I never left her-- she left me, which...
這么做或許是對的 was probably the right choice,
但是我的雙臂粗壯 even though my arms are so jacked,
都撐破了我的襯衫袖子 they blew the sleeves off my shirt and...
我床上功夫一級棒 I'm super great in bed.
韋恩 Wayne!
抱歉讓你聽到這些 兒子 Oh--hey, sorry you had to hear that, son.
雖然內心深處我覺得你早已知道 Even though deep down I feel like you already knew.
好了 All right.
好了 繼續吧 Yeah. All right.
?我覺得 榮耀無比 榮耀無比? ♪ I feel... Glorious, glorious ♪
?找到機會 重新開始? ♪ Got a chance...to start again ♪
?我為此? ♪ I was... ♪
?而生 為此而生? ♪ Born for this, born for this ♪
?我就是這樣 我怎能忘記? ♪ It's who I am How could I forget? ♪
?我走過最黑的夜? ♪ I made it through the darkest part of the night ♪
?此刻我迎著日出? ♪ And now I see the sunrise ♪
?現在我感到? ♪ Now I feel... ♪
?榮耀無比 榮耀無比? ♪ Glorious, glorious ♪
?我感到 榮耀無比 榮耀無比? ♪ I feel... Glorious, glorious ♪
叉子節竟然還不錯呢 Fork Fest wasn't half bad.
亞瑟幫我贏到這把大砍刀 Arthur helped me win this machete.
這是我的... This is my, uh...
第三杯叉子麗塔雞尾酒 my third Forkarita.
我的判斷力可能出現了問題 My judgment may be a little impaired.
小心點 走吧 小子 Uh, whoa--come on, bud.
我們再過去一趟 Let's go back and ...
看看他們愿不愿意用這個換那個無人機 see if they'll trade this in for that drone.
他們不會拒絕的 這可是大砍刀 I mean, they can't say no. We got a machete!
-沒錯 -他玩得真開心 - Yeah! - He had the best day.
那是當然啦 Well, of course he did.
畢竟他媽贏了吃餡餅比賽 His mama won the pie-eating contest.
是啊 回想起來 Yeah, looking back,
我早餐吃了四到六個熱狗 真是失算 those four to six hot dogs I had for breakfast were a bad idea.
吉妮 我知道我是個不稱職的丈夫 但是... Ginny, I know I was a crap husband, but...
接下來我會努力當個稱職的前夫 I'm gonna try not to be a crap ex-husband.
我很感激你這樣 I appreciate that.
我知道你要做出改變不容易 I know change is not easy for you.
好吧 All right.
你要干什么 What are you doing?
我就想給你一個法式舌吻 I was going to French you.
韋恩 Wayne!
-我的天 -好吧 不 對不起 - Oh, my God. - Yeah, no--I'm sorry.
-我向你道歉 -真惡心人 - I apologize for that. - That's disgusting.
我剛剛一時意亂情迷 I got caught up in the moment.
滾出去 Get out of here.
-我努力對你友好 -好吧 上帝保佑 - Ew, I try to be nice to you... - Okay, God bless.
你竟然以為我想親你 And you think I wanna kiss you?
前任之間親一下怎么啦 What's wrong with a little kiss between exes?