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[rock music plays]
-[man] Kevin? Kevin? -I'm up. I'm up.
You're gonna be late for school. I'm already dressed, Dad.
Uh-huh. I'm practically out of the door.
-Why don't I believe you? -Are you calling me a liar?
[father] Well, let's just say that you and the truth
aren't always on speaking terms.
Well, that hurts to think that my father
doesn't even believe his firstborn child.
It's not a question of belief, Kevin.
It's a question of experience.
And in my experience--
Who are you going to believe--
your experience or your son?
Huh.
Well, I stand corrected.
Honestly, Dad, I wish you'd learn to trust me once in a while.
Okay. I apologize.
Oh, and, Dad, I need some cash for the class trip.
I thought I gave you money for the class trip last week. It's for another class trip.
Must be running a travel agency out of your school.
Here.
Finish your homework?
Of course I finished my homework. It's right in here.
-I'll see you tonight then. -See you tonight, Dad.
Okay. Okay.
Homework.
* Down in the pleasure center Hell-bent or heaven-sent *
* Listen to the propaganda Listen to the latest slander *
* There's nothing underhand that she wouldn't understand *
* Pump it up until you can feel it *
* Pump it up, when you don't really need it *
* Pump it up until you can feel it *
* Pump it up, when you don't really need it *
[school bell rings]
I will be collecting your social studies assignment this morning.
You're late, Kevin. Sorry. Sorry.
It's not my fault.
I was helping Principal Taggert with a school safety issue.
And what safety issue would that be?
I'm afraid I can't tell you, Miss Walker. Top-level security.
-Sworn to secrecy. -Take a seat Kevin.
As you know, this assignment is worth
30% of your final grade,
so I hope you all took it very seriously.
"Top-level security"? It's the best I could come up with on short notice.
One of these days, you're gonna get caught, you know.
Yeah?
Well, not today.
Thank you.
[school bell rings]
Kevin, a word?
Is there a problem, Miss Walker?
I'm not sure. You wrote this paper all by yourself?
Stayed up all night. But it was worth it.
I really think I learned something important.
Uh-huh. You know what?
I think I better call your father to confirm
that you actually did write this paper on your own.
Oh, I wouldn't do that, Miss Walker.
My dad's very busy, you know. You really shouldn't bother him.
Mm. It won't take a minute.
And I'm sure your father's interested
in your education, of course.
Of course.
[man on PA] Happy Friday, kids. We are pleased to inform you
that we won't be serving plain, hot mush today.
It will be hot mush with applesauce and cinnamon.
Bon appétit.
Thanks. Keep the change.
What if Ms. Walker wasn't kidding?
What if she really does call your dad?
Becca, I'm hurt. You of all people don't believe I wrote that paper?
How long have we been friends? Since third grade.
And what's our agreement? We never lie to each other.
Right. I know you didn't write that paper.
Then you also know I've got a plan.
[father] You know we're stalling, but they don't know that.
-Don't worry. It's just a little white lie. -[phone rings]
Just tell them we need more time to review the documents.
Hang on a sec. Another call.
[sighs] Never mind. It's a wrong number.
[rock ring tone]
Wonder who this is.
Hello?
[altered voice] This is Tom Shepard. Hello, Mr. Shepard.
This is Karen Walker, Kevin's social studies teacher. Ah, yes.
Hello, Karen. Kevin has told me a lot about you.
-He has? -He says you're one of the best teachers at the school.
Oh. Well, I don't know about-- [clears throat]
I am calling to confirm something.
Did Kevin stay up all night working on his social studies assignment?
-No. No, he did not. -Ah.
He retired around 3:00 a.m. He's been working hard on this paper for weeks.
I'd be very surprised if it didn't earn him at least an A.
-Well, I will certainly, um-- -By the way, are you calling all the parents today?
Uh, no, but--
Is there some reason you're suspicious of my son in particular?
Well, no, it's just--
Then for crying out loud, cut the kid some slack.
Now, if you'll excuse me, Miss Walker, I've got work to do. Buh-bye.
Good-bye, sir-- [dial tone]
Why did I ever doubt you?
The doctor said it's a very rare condition,
and any kind of extreme physical exertion could result in--
[Walker] Excuse me. Sorry to interrupt.
Kevin, I need to see you in my classroom.
Um, actually, I'm in a meeting. Can it wait?
No.
It can't.
Plagiarism?
They have this wonderful new program called iCompare
that correlates instances of selected text
against known sources on the Internet.
-It could've been a coincidence? -Forty-seven times?
I'm afraid the odds are not in your favor, Kevin.
Okay, I'm sorry. I just ran out of time.
I didn't know what else to do.
Usually I would have to report this to the principal,
but I think in this case, one week's suspension.
[father] I can do better than that.
One month. No Internet,
no allowance, no phone,
no video games and no car.
And of course I will need you to redo your assignment
in your own words
and in your own handwriting this time.
[scoffs]
-No Internet? -Tomorrow's the last day of the semester.
I want your new assignment on my desk
no later than 9:00 tomorrow morning.
Or?
Summer school? Seriously?
Seriously. Unless I come up with a completely new project,
I'm gonna be spending the entire summer stuck in some classroom
with Miss Walker and a bunch of mouth-breathers.
Okay, well, let's think. Uh, just pick a topic.
New technologies.
Trends in new technologies.
[buzzes]
How am I supposed to write about new technologies
if I can't even use my current technology?
They say you should write about what you know.
Great. So what do I know?
Well, you know how to lie.
Thanks.
Just trying to help.
This isn't a game, Becca. This is serious business.
A game.
-I gotta go. See you tomorrow. -But, Kevi--
* Making it work *
* Late night, boozin' *
* Oh, I'm out of control *
* Red lights, cruisin' *
* I got no sense of soul *
* I knew, you knew *
* Hey, we both knew the crime *
* Blacker, bluer *
* Oh, I'm back in the line *
* Making it work * * Takes a little longer *
* Making it work * * Takes a little time *
* Making it work * * Takes a little longer *
* Making it work * * Takes a little time *
* Making it work *
-[alarm beeps] -I'm done!
No!
[rock intro]
* I wanna get down I wanna go all out *
* I wanna leave on my own * What?
* I wanna wake up I wanna make a run *
Great. Just great.
* I wanna, wanna, wanna wanna see it all *
* I wanna, wanna wanna, wanna say *
* I wanna see it all *
* See it all *
Yeah, I'm coming home.
Nah, it was a total waste of time.
No-talent hacks at that stupid game expo
couldn't come up with Ms. Pac-Man
if you gave 'em three ghosts on a plate.
Yeah, I'm on my way to the airport now,
if the guy could find the gas pedal!
Call you later.
So you're in the, uh, video game business?
Oh, let me guess.
You got a great idea for a game.
Yeah, actually, I do. It's called-- It's--
Nice guy.
Kevin Shepard, you're a genius.
-[horn honks] -[screams, grunts]
Oh, no. Oh, wow.
Oh, my gosh.
Oh, my gosh, kid.
I didn't even see you. You okay?
[groans] I think you broke my tibia.
Your tibia's in your leg.
Phantom pains! Phantom pains!
All right, kid. Looks like you lived. We gotta get to the airport!
Well, what about my bike?
Tough break. Hope you have insurance.
How am I supposed to get to school?
Isn't there a bus for you people?
I need to get to school now.
Look, give me a ride,
and I'll forget all about this clearly illegal hit-and-run.
Uh, we didn't run. We stopped.
Forget it, kid! Thanks to Miss Daisy here,
I'm already late for my flight.
[bystanders murmuring] Ow!
My arm! My leg!
We'd better get a police report.
Someone call 911. [groans]
All right!
I was just kidding.
Shut up. Get in the car.
Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on!
Hi. I'm Kevin Shepard.
-Where's your school? -Fourth and Maple.
-Give it some gas! We haven't got all day. -Yes, Mr. Wolf.
[sighs]
So, what brings you to Columbus?
[scoffs]
I came here for the video game expo.
I was scouting for new talent for Highcroft Electronics.
Apparently wasting my time.
Wait.
Did you say Highcroft Electronics?
Have you heard of it? Are you kidding?
Red Thunder? Army Call? Space Zombie 2?
That place is legendary. You work there?
Yeah. Larry Wolf. Head of Interactive.
Wow. You must be a genius.
I'll accept that. You know, I wrote a game.
For my social studies assignment. You want to see?
Oh, sure, sure, I do, but first let me grab
my ceremonial knife and commit hara-kiri!
But it's really good. Yeah, yeah, read my lips.
I'm not interested in your-- your stupid game here.
[driver] Here we are.
I guess we're here. Guess we are.
Hey, can I have my game back? Sure, sure, of course.
Here, let me get the door for you here.
Hey, thanks for the ride. We're even, right?
Yeah, sure. Good. Out.
[groans]
-Hey, drive! -But what about the kid's assignment?
I said drive, you idiot! Drive!
[tires squeal] Hey, come back!
You've got my assignment! Come back!
You seriously expect me to believe this?
But it's true! I did the assignment. I swear.
Uh-huh. So some guy hit you with his limousine,
then stole your homework?
-Look, I know how it sounds-- -Actually, Kevin, I don't think you do.
But I'm telling you the truth.
-Maybe I lied a few times in the past-- -"A few"?
Okay, a lot. But this time, you have to believe me.
Please!
Enjoy summer school, Kevin.
[men chanting] Yay, summer school!
Yay!
Summer school!
Yay!
Economics.
The fundamentals of economics have remained unchanged for centuries,
with the simple idea that supply and demand is the foundation
of all commerce in all fashions
all around the world.
Wherein if supply equals x and demand equals y...
[continues, indistinct] [chanting continues] Yay!
Summer school!
But if we are to understand that y is greater than x,
we can invert the equation and reverse
the flow in favor of the buyer over the seller.
Yes!
"Yes" to economic theory?
-[teacher] Thank you. I agree. -Yay, summer school!
Namaste.
[phone beeps]
[yoga instructor] One with the floor.
[beeping]
Respect your center.
[laughing]
What?
Do we have a problem, Mr. Shepard? Yeah!
That jerk stole my game!
[father] You really expect me to believe this?
But it's true, Dad. You can look him up.
His name is Larry Wolf, he's from Highcroft Electronics,
and he took my social studies assignment.
Are we back to that lie again? I'm not lying!
Wait a second. Are your lips moving?
Yes. That means you're lying.
That hurts, Dad. How do you think I feel, Kev?
I can't even trust my own son.
[horn honks]
Now, I'll be back from New York in three days.
This should tide you over till then.
And this... is for emergencies only.
You got that? Got it.
Say it with me. For...
Emergencies only. emergencies only.
Your mom was always so proud of you, Kevin.
I can't help but thinking how disappointed she'd be with all this.
I know I am.
But, Dad-- Please.
No more lies.
[phone rings]
[man] Highcroft Electronics. How can I direct your call?
Yes, I'd like to speak to Mr. Larry Wolf in your Interactive division.
Can I ask who's calling, please?
My name is Kevin Shepard. And Mr. Shepard, what is this regarding?
It's regarding my game, Big Fat Liar, which he stole from me--
Please don't call back. [dial tone]
Hello?
Kevin, you've called four times already. Give it up.
No. Not until I talk to Wolf. [busy signal]
You know how many crank phone calls they must get there every day
from people just like you who say
they had their idea for a game stolen?
You might as well forget it.
Okay. I won't call anymore.
Good. I'm gonna go see him in person.
What?
Think about it.
He can't hang up on me when I'm standing in his office.
San Francisco is, like, 2,000 miles away.
My dad said, "For emergencies only."
This is an emergency.
So wait, you're just gonna walk in there all by yourself
and try to meet this guy?
You're right. I can't do this alone.
Me? No! I can't go to San Francisco.
Give me one good reason why not. I'll give you two.
My parents. They'll never say yes to this.
So... lie.
[faux Indian vocalizing]
Mom, Dad,
there's something I have to tell you.
I've decided I want to go to yoga camp.
[gasps]
[man singing pop]
* Live streets at night, drive the bright neon sky *
How's the new phone?
Perfect. Thanks, Dad.
[man singing pop continues]
Highcroft Electronics, please.
* This game isn't over We break the rules *
* Let's take the crowd for a ride *
* We're spinning in circles *
There he is.
Yo. Hansel and Gretel.
Where do you think you're going?
We're here to see Larry Wolf.
Uh-huh. Got an appointment?
Not exactly, but he's going to want to talk to me.
Oh, yeah.
I'm sure he's been dreaming of this his whole life.
Look, Jimmy, we've come a very long way for this meeting.
I would suggest you just call upstairs and let him know that Kevin Shepard is here.
Hi, Mr. Wolf. It's Jimmy in the lobby.
I was hoping to get fired today for bothering you
about a couple of snotty kids who don't have an appointment.
On second thought...
I'll keep my job.
Buh-bye.
Now what?
Be right back.
Go on up.
Mm, go on up.
Yeah, go on up.
Bigger Fatter Liar.
It's not supposed to do that, sir.
It's not supposed to freeze in the middle of the game?
I had no i-- You're such an idiot!
It's still got a few bugs,
but I'm sure once we get it up and running,
you won't be able to put it down, Mr. Wolf.
No, no, I doubt that.
I do not play video games.
Video games are for losers with nothing better to do.
[beeping]
Uh, excuse me, Mr. Wolf?
Mm? If you don't like the games,
why are you running the Interactive division?
Well, let me ask you something, Connie.
-It's Kenny, sir. -Yeah, whatever.
Do you think that I like microwave ovens? No, I don't.
Microwave ovens cook like crap,
and they don't even get the popcorn setting correct.
But...
I spent five years in appliances.
Five long years.
I pioneered convection-roasting technology.
I introduced the FridgeMate TV system.
I tripled the revenue for that department.
I was a shoo-in to be president of this company.
Top-floor office. Big pay raise.
A view.
You have a wonderful view, sir.
Oh, yeah? Really? Look at this.
Oh. Exactly.
I've worked for this company for 30 years.
I deserved to be president. They owed it to me.
But what did Old Man Highcroft do?
He gave the job to his grandson. His idiot grandson!
I meant to say that. Now, you listen to me.
I'm gonna work you morons like rented monkeys
until I turn this turd of a department into a winner.
And then I'm going to show them
who should be president of this company!
Capisce? Yep.
Uh-- Hmm.
[bell dings]
Wait here.
I'm sorry. Mr. Wolf is in a meeting right now.
He's going to have to call you back.
Delivery for Mr. Wolf. Thank you. You can just put that right there.
Sorry. This is a special order.
Mr. Wolf asked for this to be hand-delivered to him.
Well, I'm Mr. Wolf's executive assistant.
I'm sure I can handle this.
My instructions were very specific, Penny.
[phone beeps]
[beeping]
"Cyberdatetoday.com"?
Oh, Penny.
Just give it to me!
No! Look, kid, it's just a pizza!
[phone rings]
Mr. Wolf's office. [altered voice] Hi, Penny, it's Mike.
Mike.
I had a really good time last night at, uh,
Olive Garden?
So did I, Mike. I didn't expect to hear from you so soon.
I need to see you again. Can you meet me right away?
When?
Now. Right now?
I know it sounds crazy, but--
I have to see you. I need to tell you how I feel.
Oh, Mike.
I think this could be the start of something very special.
-I'm in the lobby. -I'll be right down.
Oh!
You're still here. Fine, yeah. You can go.
Fine.
Thanks.
Good luck.
Thanks.
Wait, what? Uh--
Don't worry, Mr. Wolf. We'll do our best
to see that Big Fat Liar launches on time.
You'd better, because if it doesn't, Candy--
-Kenny. -Yeah, whatever.
The point is, if you don't fix this game,
I'm gonna see to it that you spend the rest of your pathetic life
programming talking baby dolls till your ears bleed.
Hi. Remember me?
-Penny! -She's on a date.
All right, every-- everybody, get out.
Now.
Now!
So let me guess. This is about, um, Big Fat Liar, right?
So you do remember.
What do you want, kid? What do you think he wants?
Uh, money, credit and an apology.
Actually, no. What?
All I want is for you to call my dad
and tell him the truth.
Seriously? We came all this way for that?
You want me to call your dad--
"Daddy"-- and tell him that I, uh,
stole your idea?
-Exactly. -Let me think about that.
Yeah, I'm gonna say no.
-Mr. Wolf. Larry. -Mister Wolf.
Come on. Think about it. I think we both know you want to do the right thing.
Well, it pretty much goes without saying
that if I'm gonna steal somebody's idea--
which you have absolutely no proof of--
probably not gonna do the right thing.
Security! [Jimmy] Mr. Wolf?
-You're making a big mistake. -Is that a threat?
Let me tell you something, kid.
I didn't get this far
in the corporate snake pit by being intimidated,
especially by some smart-ass kid.
So why don't you and Fly-over Barbie here
go back to Hooterville where you belong?
I came up with Big Fat Liar,
and I am never going to admit otherwise.
Oh, Mr. Wolf, I am so sorry.
Oh, so am I, because the unemployment line
is so long these days.
Steroids, get these two out of my sight.
Yes, sir.
Hey!
Nice try with the phone.
Beat it.
Kids. [chuckles]
Zip it.
Well, it was worth a shot.
If it's any consolation, I believed you all along.
Oh, this isn't over. What else can you do?
You heard Wolf. You don't have any proof, and he's not gonna admit anything.
Not yet.
[phone beeping] You bumped his phone?
Got all the data when it was in my pocket.
Addresses phone numbers, schedules, e-mails.
Is that-- Uh-huh.
What kind of moron keeps his credit card numbers in his phone?
He could've done this the easy way.
But now, we're gonna do things my way.
Of course, Mr. Wolf. Your father has arranged a pre-paid room,
all expenses on his account.
Welcome to the Fairmont Nob Hill.
[snaps fingers] Front!
Wow.
This is beautiful.
Tell me they have a minibar.
Fifty dollars for a cheeseburger?
Yeah. That's crazy.
We need to spend more money.
Let's go out for dinner.
Um, Kevin, I didn't exactly pack for going out.
Don't worry.
We'll just put it on Larry Wolf's tab.
[man] * Oh *
* I step into the city night *
* Fast cars and flashing lights *
* And tough streets and busy places *
* Comin' at me steady with a million faces *
* This hustle and bustle's crazy *
* But I love it 'cause I'm feeling amazing *
* And I won't sleep tonight *
* I swear, man, I love this life *
* Good God, it's out of control *
* And I'm just trying to let you know *
* I can't help myself though *
* Oh, yeah *
You know what? We'll take them all.
[jazz intro playing]
[man] * Well, I don't have to wear shoes that shine *
* I don't need the deed to a diamond mine *
* I never have to drive a Mercedes-Benz *
How much is this gonna cost?
Uh, who cares?
Don't you think it's a bit ironic,
trying to prove to your dad that you're telling the truth
by lying, cheating and stealing?
Wolf ripped me off. I'm just paying him back.
Oh, look. Caviar.
Really expensive caviar.
[Becca] I still feel bad about this.
I told you, Wolf deserves it.
Not that, this.
I really don't mind sleeping on the couch if you want the bed.
You came all this way with me. It's the least I could do. True.
Are you going to the homecoming dance?
No. You?
Give me a break.
It's a stupid, outdated ceremony.
Designed to maintain the status quo.
And feed the egos of cool kids in school.
Well, you can't dance anyway.
Well, you dance like a duck.
You move like you've got explosive diarrhea.
I do not! [scoffs]
[imitating diarrhea sound] Dance, Kevin, dance.
[giggles]
You're going down! [laughing]
[phone rings]
[ring tone]
-Hi, Dad. -Hey, Kev.
-I'm just checking in. Is everything okay? -Just great.
I'm learning a lot at summer school.
I really think this is going to be a life-changing event.
I'm glad to hear that. I'll be home in a couple days, but if you need anything,
just let me, you know-- Got to go, Dad.
Don't want to be late for civil disobedience class. [beeps]
Hurry up!
[clicks] Got it.
Send.
I think it's time we saw San Francisco, don't you?
Good morning, Mr. Wolf,
Miss... Wolf.
May I arrange a car for you?
Thank you, Elliot.
You may.
Huh.
[Wolf] * Figaro, Figaro Figaro, Figaro *
* Figaro, Figaro, Figaro Figaro, Figaro, Figaro *
* Figaro, Figaro Figaro, Fig-a-ro *
[inhales deeply]
[singing continues]
[ringing]
Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Ah!
[phone rings]
-Kevin! -Hello, San Francisco!
Kevin!
You've got a call. The bank.
Larry Wolf. Yes, this is he.
"Unusual charges"? No, those are all accounted for.
Just treating my little lady to a day in the city,
if that's okay with you.
Yes, we might be making a few more big purchases.
Very big.
Yes, you too. Buh-bye, now.
Are we in trouble?
Please. It's all under control.
So, you really Mr. Wolf's kids?
Yep.
Hmm. Interesting.
Mr. Wolf has no kids.
Oh, well, he doesn't like to talk about us.
-We're the black sheep in the family. -Cut the crap.
I work for Highcroft Electronics.
The hotel, they called the company to arrange the limo.
Uh-oh.
Yeah, "uh-oh."
I overheard you talking about using his credit card.
What are you up to?
Nothing. It's all authorized.
[driver] Give me a break.
Let me tell you little story.
Before I drive limo,
I used to work for Mr. Wolf.
You designed video games?
No. Housewares.
I was the top engineer
in the whole appliance division.
Ever heard of the FridgeMate?
The TV set built into the refrigerator?
That was me. [chuckles]
I've always wondered why people wanted to watch TV standing in front of the fridge.
I don't know. They just do.
My point is, it was my invention.
And then my boss, Mr. Larry Wolf,
he stole my idea and pretended it was his own.
I know the feeling. Why didn't you say something?
What would I say, hmm? I had no proof.
And it was his word against mine.
And when I confronted him on it,
he reassigned me to the transportation department.
And he said if I ever complained,
he would blacklist my name all over town!
[spits]
Why are you telling us all this?
Because...
I can tell that you two are up to something.
And if it involves
causing any unpleasantry to Mr. Wolf...
I'm in.
According to his schedule, he's in meetings all day.
[Becca] So?
So, he won't be home.
Perfect time to drop by his house for a little visit.
And then we kill him, hmm?
[both] Uh, no.
Suit yourself.
Tomorrow you have your meeting with Mr. Highcroft at 2:00.
Oh, that little twerp. Why do I have to waste my time on him?
Because he is the company's president.
And then you're being interviewed by the TV station at 3:00.
Those bozos better have Big Fat Liar ready,
'cause if Highcroft finds out, we're in trouble.
Uh, pull the plug on this whole thing.
I'm sure they're working as hard as they can. Well, I'm not.
I want Dopey and his short-bus team here all night.
Hmm? I want that game checked and double-checked
till it's good to go, you got that?
All night, sir?
Oh, I want you to stick around and supervise.
Me? What, did I st-st-st-stutter?
This has got to be your top priority.
Got it?
Yes, sir, Mr. Wolf. Good. Have a nice night.
You too. Yeah.
"Top priority." [muttering]
[Kevin] Cozy. [Becca] How do we get in?
I've got this.
[Kevin] Those don't look like refrigerator repair tools.
Mm, sometimes the refrigerator
is in a place that's hard to get to, you know.
Let me try.
Key code 555-5555. Clever.
[high-pitched alarm sounds]
What do we do?
Alarm code 555-5555.
[chuckles] At least he's consistent.
[alarm stops]
Wow.
Nice place.
Yes. We should torch it, no?
Let's just look around a bit first, okay, Ivan?
Okay. Whatever.
Anything interesting?
He's downloaded every episode of My Little Pony.
Even the Christmas special?
What? It's a really good show.
I'll just take everything and sort it out later.
Oh. Hey.
Look at these.
-These are for-- -Yeah, they are.
We got him.
[jazz: man vocalizing]
[vocalizing continues]
Ooh, He's got moo shu.
I've hidden the car. Did you get the stuff?
You must never question Ivan.
Skin bleach.
[chuckles]
And the skin dye.
[chuckles] [garage door opening]
He's here.
Game on.
The alarm! We forgot to turn the alarm back on!
* Telegram Sam Telegram Sam * [alarm chirps]
* You are my main man *
* Golden Nose Slim Golden Nose Slim *
* I knows where you've been *
* Oh *
* Purple Pie Pete Purple Pie Pete *
* Your lips are like lightning Girls melt in the heat *
* Yeah *
* Telegram Sam *
* You're my main man *
* Telegram Sam *
* You're my main man *
* Oh *
* Bobby's all right Bobby's all right *
* He's a natural-born poet He's just outta sight *
* Jungle-face Jake Jungle-face Jake *
* I say, make no mistake about Jungle-face Jake *
* Jake *
* Telegram Sam *
* You're my main man *
* Telegram Sam *
* You're my main man *
[imitating blender whirring]
[continues]
* Bobby's all right He's a natural-born poet *
* He's just out of sight *
[switches off]
Ah.
Hmm.
Mmm!
[beeps]
Every day I'm getting faster, stronger.
-Every day I'm getting... -Do you think it's gonna work?
Every day I'm getting faster, stronger!
Every day I'm getting faster and stronger.
Every day I'm getting faster...
Maybe we didn't use enough.
[gibbering]
[groans]
I think we used enough.
Let's get to work.
[groans]
Oh, what did I do last night?
My head's killing me.
[groans]
[urinating] [relieved sigh]
[sighs]
[toilet flushes]
[gasping]
[shrieking]
That kid!
It's that kid!
[exclaiming]
[phone rings]
Mr. Wolf's office.
Hi, Penny. It's Melissa from Mr. Highcroft's office.
It's about his meeting today with Mr. Wolf.
[blubbering]
Dirty kid! [phone rings]
What?
Mr. Highcroft's office called. He changed your appointment to noon.
He'd like to meet you for lunch instead.
No, no, no. No! No!
I'm trying to find your day planner
to see if that'll work.
Did you want me to tell him you're unavailable?
No. He'll think something's wrong. Okay.
Texting you the address right now.
[groans]
Are you sure you're up for this meeting?
What is that supposed to mean?
You just sound a little odd.
You just mind your own business!
I'm fine.
Everything's fine!
[alarm chirps]
[heavy metal music blares]
[groans]
[gasps]
[groaning]
-[horn honking] -[gasps]
Kevin Shepard, I'm gonna kill you!
[honking continues]
[music blaring continues]
[honking continues]
[music blaring continues]
[honking continues]
Shut the hell up, you moron!
Sorry. It's not me! It's the car!
Oh, really? Really?
[engine revs]
Are you kidding me?
This is a $200,000 automobile!
Good for you, buddy! Good for you!
I got your license plate, jerk-face!
So sue me!
Oh! Yeah!
Problem, sir? Whoa!
Officer, did you see that?
-Please put your hands where I can see them, sir. -No, no, that hillbilly--
He deliberately backed into my car! Uh-huh.
Can I see your license and registration, please?
Oh, no, I got a meeting I got to get-- No sudden movements, sir!
[sighs] It's in the glove compartment.
Cirque du Soleil in town?
What? No, no. This is a prank. It's a long story.
What's this?
-What-- What is this? -These are the blueprints for the bank over on 17th Street.
No, this. What is this?
Gun! Gun!
[bystanders screaming] No, it's rubber. See? It's a fake gun.
Come on. It's my first day on the job. Just freeze.
What are you gonna do? You gonna-- No, no, no!
[crying out, blubbering]
[groans]
[blubbering]
[officer] Yeah. There might be more of them there, so...
better put out an APB for any mimes carrying concealed weapons.
[chuckles] Got him.
Good. Now can we go home?
Why? I thought we were having fun. We are.
It's just, I feel bad about lying to my parents.
Come on.
A little lie here and there doesn't hurt anybody.
Besides, it makes life interesting.
It makes me interesting.
You don't need a lie to do that.
[laughing]
I guess after my mom died, it just seemed easier
to make up stuff than it was to have to face the truth.
I just sort of got used to it.
Well, I don't want to get used to it.
Like you've never lied to your parents before? Once.
You remember that time we snuck out and went to the midnight madness movies?
Yeah. I got caught.
You never told me that.
I didn't want to make you feel bad, but I got in big trouble.
I told them I snuck out alone.
You lied for me? Why?
Because,
dummy,
you're my best friend.
And that's the truth.
[Wolf] What took you so long?
I'm sorry, but I had to explain to accounting why I needed bail money!
Mr. Wolf, I don't understand why
you had bank blueprints and a mask and a gun!
It wasn't a real gun!
Officer.
Mr. Wolf!
Well, you have been acting very suspicious lately.
Oh, it's not me, it's-- it-- Oh, never mind.
Yes, sir. Does it have anything to do with your face, sir?
Oh, shut up, Penny!
That's not how you found my car! Oh, no. Oh, no.
[man] That's how I found your car.
You'll be hearing from my lawyer.
Go back to France, creep!
I'm not from France!
[horn honking] [radio blaring rock music]
Would you open it?
Idiot!
Well, you're welcome!
[horn honking continues, stops]
[rock music blares]
[scoffs]
You're kidding.
All right.
[rock music continues]
[gasps]
[rock music blaring] [gasps]
[exhales]
[groans]
[music stops]
Go, Niners!
I'm looking for a man named Highcroft.
Think you're in the wrong place, Freak Show.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Are you threatening me
because I'm wearing makeup?
Because I look like a mime?
Because I'm just a little bit different?
I thought this was America.
I thought--
Ooh!
[gags]
I thought...
we're supposed to accept people,
no matter...
what they look like.
[sniffs] Whew! Or smell like.
After all, I don't get on your case
when you get a little drunk and try to get romantic
with a squid.
[chuckles] No, I do not.
I mean, in my book,
what you people do on the high seas
stays on the high seas!
Am I right?
Who's with me?
-[groans] -So, you give up yet?
It was you?
What'd you do to my face?
I can't-- I can't get it off
my-- my face!
I-- I'm gonna-- I'm gonna--
I'm gonna kill you!
Careful, Wolfie.
They don't care much for mimes around these parts.
[murmuring assent]
Oh! Doesn't matter.
I mean, fine. [chuckles]
I mean, you got me with your little sophomoric prank, right?
But... big picture?
I'm the winner. You're the loser!
We'll see. Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah! We'll see. We'll see.
Yeah! We'll see!
Where's my car?
[car alarm blaring]
[bar patrons laughing] Taxi?
Ooh-woo-woo-woo-woo. [kisses] Is he here yet?
Well, actually-- Good, good, 'cause I don't want that little toad
-running off to his grandpa, telling him I kept his -No, no, no.
precious brat waiting.
Miss Wise, I don't have time to sit around and waste--
Mr. Highcroft! What a pleasure it is to see you!
Would you please accept my humblest apologies
for my, you know, being a little late?
It was... car trouble.
Yeah, whatever. Wolf, what's going on with your face?
What? Oh, my--
Oh, my face. Yes.
My face. My face.
-It's a... publicity stunt. -Publicity!
For that new, uh,
carnival game that we have in development.
[imitating calliope]
You look completely stupid.
Ah, thank you, sir. Thank you.
All right. I'm here to see Big Fat Liar.
What do you have to show me?
You! Show time.
[chuckles] So, we're all set
for the big launch tomorrow, right, Kelly?
Kenny. Kenny?
Gotcha. Here. Start it.
No, no, no. No, no, no, Mr. Wolf.
Oh, you want me to do it. Okay, here we go.
Ready? Big Fat Liar! Boop!
Bigger Fatter Liar!
[beeping, static]
What is this crap?
I tried to tell you!
Yeah, we're still beta-testing, sir. It's all very technical.
I know what beta-testing means, Wolf!
Look, I am sick of your excuses.
We have millions committed to the marketing campaign on this.
Get out of my way! Oh, yes.
I'm sure that we can--
I want to see this game up and running by 9:00 a.m. tomorrow.
Otherwise, I pull the plug on Big Fat Liar and you.
[grunts]
[sputtering]
There's a problem with the buffer overflow. It keeps crashing.
I don't even know what that means! We worked on it all night.
You know they lock the bathrooms after 6:00 p.m.? I had to pee in the sink.
I have to be on television in one hour to promote a game that doesn't exist!
Would you like me to call and cancel?
No. I don't want to give him the satisfaction.
Who? Huh? Never mind.
Now, you listen to me, you little mud weasel.
I want you to go back to work and fix that game, because if it goes down, I go down.
And if I go down, I'm not going down alone.
Tell maintenance to rip that sink out.
Did you get it? Who knew it would be so hard to find these in San Francisco?
But I got it.
Why do they call it a ghost pepper?
Maybe because nobody who eats one lives long enough to warn you not to.
So Judy's going to ask you a few questions about the game,
and then we'll show some screenshots to tell the story.
That sound okay?
Sounds great.
What, um, exactly happened to your face anyways?
I don't know. What happened to yours?
[chuckles] Ha-ha.
[both laughing]
More eyebrows.
The other one.
[Kevin] Excuse me. Excuse me.
Excuse me. Hi. Are you the producer?
Yes. I'm Jeff.
I'm an intern at Highcroft Electronics,
and I'm totally embarrassed,
but I forgot to give Mr. Wolf his energy drink before he left the office.
No problem. He's just-- Could you give it to him? Please?
I don't think I could take him yelling at me again today.
Sure. No problem.
Thanks.
Tsk. Poor kid.
Ooh! Ooh! A-E-I-O...
ooh, ooh!
Almost forgot your energy drink.
Uh-- [bell rings]
But I-- I didn't--
In five, four, three, two--
Welcome back, everyone.
We are here now with Larry Wolf, V.P. of Interactive and--
[Wolf] President of Interactive.
President of Interactive at Highcroft Electronics.
Ah, well, it's nice to be here. [chuckles]
Well, your company is about to release Here we go.
its highly anticipated game Big Fat Liar tomorrow
to what is sure to be a media extravaganza.
-We are very excited about it. -Yes, now, I have to admit
we were a little miffed here that we didn't get
a chance to play the game ourselves.
We are keeping this game under lock and key.
It's-It's-- It's that good.
[Judy] Now, there were rumors about--
Come on, come on! There have been development issues with the game.
-Is that true? -No, we're just not releasing
a review copy of the game because it's-- it's too exciting.
[chuckles] We just want everybody to be surprised by it.
Okay. Well, that sounds fantastic.
Surely you can tell us a little bit about it.
[strained voice] No, I can't.
[gasps] Is it first-person shooter?
Shoo-ter!
[wheezing gasp] [Kevin chuckles]
-[exclaiming] -Or more of a puzzle game?
[choking gasps] Something's caught on my tongue.
Uh-- Uh-- [coughs, wheezes]
-Mr. Wolf? -[grunts, breathes heavily]
Mr. Wolf? Mr. Wolf? Wolf, are you-- are you okay?
-Water! -[screams]
[exclaims]
Yes!
[screams, gasps]
[grunts, mutters]
[gargling]
[shrieking]
[shouting]
-[Wolf shouts] -Serves you right, Wolf.
We'll be right back.
Yes!
[man on TV] Today, Highcroft Electronics
Interactive Division President Larry Wolf
had an unexpected meltdown today on live television.
-Wolf's bizarre behavior has some wondering-- -[Wolf] Oh, turn it off.
Well, Mr. Highcroft called.
-I-I-I tried to tell him it was some sort of allergic reaction. -And?
He wants you to see the company psychiatrist as soon you get out.
But the game-- did it get fixed?
I'm afraid not. No one seems to be able to make it stop freezing up.
[snoring]
Why am I not in a private room?
Your credit card was declined, sir. What?
Oh, that kid!
I'm ruined.
I'm completely ruined.
I wish there was something I could do to help. I really do.
I know. What could you do?
You can barely type a letter.
There's only one person who can help me now.
So let me get this straight.
I help you fix the game, and then you'll call my dad to explain everything?
That's right. You have my word.
No way.
Make the call first, and then he'll help you.
Well, what's to prevent you from not honoring your side of the bargain?
What's to prevent you from doing the same?
I like her. Feisty.
Kevin. Kev.
I'm just asking for your help.
This baby was your brainchild.
Please.
I need you.
It needs you.
You have my word.
You can't do this.
One of us has to trust the other one. It's the only way.
We have a deal?
[laughs, sighs]
[laughing]
* All bark, no bite *
* All dog, no fight *
* And you will return and jump back in the fray *
* Act like you were listenin' *
* One step forward, two steps back *
* We never *
* See straight ahead *
* Emotion Waiting for the punches *
* Ooh, ooh *
* When I close the doors and shut you out *
[Kevin exclaims]
* Ooh, ooh * [groans]
[song continues]
* Don't forget we go on and on and on and on *
* And on and on and on and on, on, on *
* We go on and on and on and on and on *
* And on and on and on, on *
* Breathe out, breathe in *
* Time bomb tickin' *
* And never forget what got you off your game *
* Those memories won't fade away *
* We never see straight ahead *
* Emotion Waiting for the punches *
* Ooh, ooh *
* When I close the doors and shut you out *
* Ooh, ooh *
* When there's no one left to hear the sound *
* Ooh, ooh *
* When they play you something, lock it down *
* Don't forget we go on and on and on and on and on *
* And on and on, on, on *
* We're in too deep *
* What's happening? *
Yes! [exclaims, laughs]
* One step forward, two steps back *
* We go on and on and on and on and on and on *
* And on, on, on *
* We go on and on and on and on and on *
* And on and on and on, on *
* We go on and on and on and on and on *
* And on and on and on, on *
* We go on and on and on and on and on *
* And on and on and on, on *
[beeping, whirring] Come on.
So? Come on.
What do you think?
[grunts]
You made me lose.
Pretty cool, Wolf.
Pretty cool.
Mm.
See you at the launch tomorrow.
[chattering]
You know, kid, I got to admit, you really saved my butt.
Yep. Now you're gonna save mine, right?
You got it. Yes.
When you're right, you're right.
Am I right?
Hello?
Security, bull pen. Thank you.
What? What are you doing?
-Seriously? -But you gave me your word. We shook on it.
Well, maybe next time, you should get that handshake in writing, huh?
Oh, Steroids. I thought I told you to get the riffraff out of my office.
I knew it.
Sorry, Mr. Wolf.
I won't let it happen again. Mm.
You know, when I first met you, I really thought you were something.
A big success. A big man.
All you really are is a big, fat liar.
Ooh!
[gasps] That hurts.
I'll remember that when I'm
moving into my new office on the top floor.
Steroids, make sure that they get on the plane this time.
Will do, Mr. Wolf.
Move it.
[chuckles] I don't believe this.
This is a new low, even for you.
Well, be sure to mention that
while you're filing for unemployment insurance.
Hey, so what's the plan now?
The plan is, we go home.
But what about Wolf? What about Big Fat Liar?
It's over, Becca. He won.
Yeah, but the only way he did was by lying.
Exactly.
I don't want to be that guy anymore, Becca.
I don't want to end up some sad little man in clown makeup
who has to lie and steal from a kid just to get ahead.
I don't want to lie anymore.
I want my dad to be proud of me.
I want to be proud of myself.
Anyway,
thanks for coming with me.
It was fun, even if we didn't get what we what came for.
You know what?
Maybe we did.
What do you mean?
I'm proud of you, Kevin.
It'll just be a minute.
Ah.
My, you two certainly racked up the bill.
Hi, Jimmy. Mr. Wolf called
and said that I should take over from here.
Really? But I thought--
He said to take the rest of the day off.
Thanks.
See you two later.
Not!
[chuckles]
What are you doing here?
Well, I was thinking about delivering some payback to my soon-to-be ex-boss.
Do you know of anybody who would like to help me? It's too late for that.
Yeah, we're going home.
So you're just gonna let Mr. Wolf take advantage of you?
You're not gonna stand up for yourself and do what's right?
I just don't want to lie anymore.
I'm not talking about lying.
I'm talking about making somebody finally tell the truth.
[sighs]
Hurry up, hurry up! The door's not gonna open itself!
Hmm.
Hey, don't I know you from somewhere?
-Appliances. -Oh, no.
* Friends say it's fine Friends say it's good *
[Wolf] What are you, crazy? [Ivan] No.
You were crazy to steal from Ivan Slobodonovich!
Look, I'm sorry, okay?
Hey, slow down, will ya?
-We can talk about this! -No, too late for talking.
* Babe, I wanna be your man *
[gasps]
[screams]
* It's plain to see you were meant for me *
* Yeah, I'm your boy, your 20th-century toy *
* Friends say it's fine Friends say it's good *
* Everybody says it's just like Robin Hood *
Call office!
[female voice] Would you like to call ice?
No, not ice! Why would I want ice? I want the office! Call office.
* Babe, I wanna be your man *
-Larry Wolf's office. -Penny! Penny, help me! Help me.
I'm in the back of a limousine. Yeah.
-Call the cops. The driver's trying to kill me. -Sure thing, Mr. Wolf.
I'll get right on that.
* Friends say it's fine Friends say it's good *
Phase one is in progress.
Copy.
Bravo team, move into position.
* I move like a cat *
Where are we?
What do you want, money? Name your price.
-I don't want money. -What do you want?
I want credit for my invention.
I can make it happen. Just let me out of here.
And my old job back. Done!
You're on the payroll as of this second. Boom, bang.
And full health insurance and dental.
No problem.
Do you have vision?
Vision?
We can only get 10% off of frames and lenses
and-and nothing off of contacts.
You know, it's a huge rip-- You want it, you got it.
Well, 10% isn't too bad.
Yeah, I'll-- I'll pay for the rest of it myself, out of my own pocket.
We got a deal?
No deal.
Looks like you're going to miss your big launch party.
[sinister chuckling]
[car door shuts]
[footsteps] Iv-Ivan?
Ivan?
[train whistle blows]
No! [gasps] Get me out of here!
Oh, no!
Oh, no, no! Oh, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no!
Help me! Help me!
Need some help?
Hey, kid, kid!
Make a call! Tell them I'm on the tracks. Tell them to stop the train.
-You ready to tell the truth? -What?
-All you have to do is tell my dad the truth. -The truth?
The truth-- highly overrated, kid.
Just admit you stole my idea. Yeah, fine!
Fine, fine, fine. Fine, yeah. Fine, fine, fine.
Yes. I stole it, I stole Big Fat Liar.
You gave me your paper in the back of my car, and I stole it.
Okay? You happy now?
Yep. That's all I wanted.
-[horn blowing] -[exclaiming]
I'm gonna die! I'm gonna die!
[gasping sobs]
Huh?
You've got a good team working for you, Wolf.
You really should treat them better.
Hey, kid!
[car door shuts] No! Give me that phone!
[exclaims] You--
No!
[grunting]
Ah! [gasps]
[chuckles] Kid! Kid!
Kid! [grunts] No, wait! Just--
Wait!
Hey, kid!
Where are you going? Bring me back that phone!
Hey! Hey!
Stop that kid! Stop that kid!
Get him! Get him!
Stop him! Stop that kid!
You idiot!
-Watch your blood pressure. -[growls]
[grunting]
Just push your head. Really?
Stay down there! Stay down, just--
[grunts]
[chuckles]
You idiot!
You can't outrun the Wolf.
Oh!
[nervous chuckle]
Oh, I'm sorry for the interruption, folks.
Game's over. Beat it, kid.
[chuckles]
Oh, I'm sorry for the way I look.
It's been a very strange day.
Out of the way, toad.
But e-e-enough about me. [groans]
Lights.
Uh, you're not here for that.
[laughing]
Ah.
You're not here for that, no.
You're here to witness the evolution of mobile gaming,
an evolution-- may I say a revolution--
that I championed here
at Highcroft Electronics, long before
this new regime ever took over.
So ladies and gentlemen, may I introduce
Big... Fat... Liar!
Every day I'm getting faster, stronger.
Every day I'm getting faster and stronger.
Every day I'm getting...
I'm gonna work you morons like rented monkeys
until I turn this turd of a department into a winner.
I'm gonna see to it that you spend the rest of your pathetic life
programming talking baby dolls till your ears bleed!
-[groans] -Well, that explains the underwear.
I doubt that. I don't play video games.
Video games are for losers with nothing else to do.
I didn't-- Did I say-- No, I didn't.
[Wolf] Turn it off!
Turn it off now, or you're all fired, you idiots!
-Kid, the truth is overrated, all right? -Just admit you stole my idea.
Fine. Fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine.
I admit it. I stole Big Fat Liar.
You gave me your stupid little paper
in the backseat of my car, and I stole it!
-[gasping, murmuring] -You happy now?
Oh, God, I'm gonna die!
How did you get that?
I just destroyed your phone.
There's this new thing these days called e-mail.
[crowd laughing]
I sent the video as soon as I got it. Duh.
You know, for the head of an interactive division,
you really don't know too much about technology.
Mr. Highcroft, I can explain. This is all a big misunderstanding. It's--
You have 15 minutes to clear out your desk.
It's a trick. It's just a big--
Jimmy? It's a trick!
Gee, Wolf, looks like nobody believes anything you say anymore.
[gasps]
Et tu, uh...
Jimmy?
I'm sorry, sir, but I don't understand Latin.
Must be all the steroids.
[Kevin] See ya, Wolf.
[crowd jeering]
So Big Fat Liar was your idea.
Yes, sir.
Well, then, show them.
Ladies and gentlemen,
I'm proud to introduce my--
our new game.
-[man] Yeah. -[man 2] Yeah, right.
Right. Yeah.
Big Fat Liar.
[up-tempo music plays]
Dad?
Congratulations, Son.
Dad, what are you doing here? How did you--
Becca called her parents, and her parents called me, and, well, here we are.
Dad, I'm so sorry.
For everything. I promise to never lie again.
We can talk about that later.
But right now, I think they want you.
Kevin, I'm so proud of you.
It was actually designed by high-school student Kevin Shepard,
who I'm proud to announce will be interning for us next summer.
[man] In other news-- [father] Kevin?
Yeah, Dad? Two tickets to San Francisco?
First-class? Do you have any idea how much that costs?
Oh, right. Here.
You can take it out of my royalty check.
Sales for the gaming industry are up 12% this year based on--
If that's not enough, there should be another one next week.
Uh-huh. With the release of the new graphics chip set,
sales are expected to climb well into Christmas.
[grunts]
Oh, something very heavy at the end of this rope!
[grunts]
Oh, it's a large rock!
Oh! Let me get it, here. Let me pick it up.
[grunts]
Oh, whoa! Whoa-ho-ho!
The wind! The wind's coming!
Oh, the wind! Wait a minute! The wind--
Oh, look! There's money flying around in the wind!
In the hat!
That's where the money goes!
[imitating wind gusting]
That's where the money goes!
I'm in a glass box.
You suck.
No, you suck!
I don't go to your job and show you how to use the plunger, do I?
[exclaiming]
No, I don't!
[grunts] I'm in a box. A glass box.
[up-tempo music plays]
Is there a teddy bear in the room?
You know, I wouldn't bother--
* And then ya leave me lookin' like a fool *
[laughs] That is--
[man] Let's cut the cameras, please.
[crew laughing] And cut! Good.
No. No, not good.
Uh-huh. [laughs] One more.
It's for emergencies only. You got that?
[clattering]
Yeah. I got it.
...up on me when I'm standing in his office.
Uh, 'cause--
He's got a tail. My thing is--
* Now, if what ya say is true * * Uh-huh *
* I'm gonna walk away from you *
* But if I step on out the door *
* There ain't no comin' back for more *
* Here we go again I'm down a dead end *
Don't worry about it. It's just a little white lie.
Hang on a sec. I got another call.
[men chattering]
[as Jerry Lewis] Lady!
[men laughing]
It's turned into a one-act play! [laughs]
First of all, this was unplugged.
[man singing] * Ow! *
[singers vocalizing]
[vocalizing continues]
"A" mark.
* And I cannot go *
"A" Mark.
* Ya got me hyped up, jumpin' *
-[man] And cut! -Oh, my God.
Kids are so annoying. [actress laughing]
[chattering]
Good morning!
Can I sit here?
[laughter, chattering]
I can't-- I can't get it off!
What? I'm gonna-- God, I'm gonna--
[exclaiming] I'm gonna--
I'm gonna kill you! Kill you!
[man] Cut, cut, cut!
Pow, pow, pow!
Mark. Oh, no, no, no.
Mark it, baby.
I looked at her for a second, and then I looked away.
Sorry. "Soory."
Soory, soory. Soory "aboot" that.
[man] Still rolling. [man 2] Rolling!
Got it. She can't wait to be done with me.
[man] And--
C-Come back.
[man] And cut. [laughter]
[man] That's fine. So I can stay--
[laughs]
[chuckles]
[laughter]
* Uh, don't cut me loose, ah, ah, ah *
[laughter] [man] And cut. Good!
* Now, if what you say is true *
And that, my darlings, is a wrap.
* But if I step on out the door *
* There ain't no comin' back for more *
* Here we go again I'm down a dead end *
* Running in circles from the saviors who sin *
* You make me stop, oh lookin' for your love *
* And I cannot go on this runaround *
* I want to rock, roll movin' to your music *
* You got me hyped up, jumpin' up and down *
* Now, cut it loose Just cut it loose *
* Now, cut it loose Just cut it loose Just cut me loose *