There can be no doubt about his sex
despite the feminine appearance that every young man of the time aspires to.
And there can be no doubt about his upbringing.
Good food, education, a nanny, loneliness, and isolation.
And, because this is England,
Orlando would, therefore, seem destined to have his portrait on the wall
and his name in the history books.
But when he…
That is, l.
…came into the world, he was looking for something else.
Though heir to a name that meant power, land, and property,
surely when Orlando was born, it wasn't privilege he sought, but company.
Eliza
Eliza's eyes are blessed stars
Inducing peace Subduing wars
Oh, blessed be each day and hour
Where sweet Eliza builds her bower
And blessed be each day and hour
Where sweet Eliza builds her bower
Eliza, Eliza
Eliza is the fairest queen
That ever trod upon the green
Eliza
Eliza's eyes are blessed stars
Inducing peace Subduing wars
Oh, blessed be each day and hour
Where sweet Eliza builds her bower
Oh, blessed be each day and hour
Where sweet Eliza builds her bower
Casting oars!
Eliza, Eliza
Eliza is the fairest queen
That ever trod upon the green
Eliza
Eliza's breast is that fair hill
Where virtue dwells And sacred skill
Oh, blessed be each day and hour
Where sweet Eliza builds her bower
Where is he?
More wine, My Lord.
«Ah! see the virgin rose, how sweetly shee»
«Doth first peepe forth with bashfull modestee»
«That fairer seemes the lesse ye see her may»!
«Lo! see, soone after» how more bold and free
«Her bared bosome she doth broad display»
«Lo! see soone after how she fades and falls away»
«So passeth, in the»…
ls this a worthy topic
from one so clearly in the bloom of youth
to one who would desire it still?
Fair Virgo, Gracious Majesty,
your bloom is legendary.
And these were, of course, not the sentiments of our son,
but of a poet.
Now, what would please you?
All that is mine is here for your pleasure.
All you call yours is mine already.
Come. Your leg.
l want you here in England with me.
You will be the son of my old age and the limb of my infirmity.
My favorite. My mascot.
Come.
This is my victory.
Come. Your handsome leg.
For you and for your heirs, Orlando.
The house.
Your Majesty, l am forever…
But on one condition.
Do not fade.
Do not wither.
Do not grow old.
Very interesting person.
First, the queen, and now his father. lt is too sad.
Mourning so becomes him. One can quite see why he was the favorite.
My dear friends, how can you in his time of grief?
That way.
Sasha!
Who's that?
l believe she's the daughter of the Muscovite Ambassador.
Rather delightful if that's to your taste.
Whatever can you mean?
Smearing themselves with candle wax to keep warm,
growing beards as they get older, that kind of thing.
Perhaps in this you're mistaken, Moray.
lt was told me on good authority by Lord Francis Vere.
– Has he traveled to Muscovy? – He knows someone who did.
Move. Out of the way.
This is the Lady Euphrosyne. The Lord Winchelsea.
The Lord Orlando.
– The Earl of Moray. – Moray. Teasle.
And l am Lord Francis Vere.
Sorry?
Enchanted.
And my name is Alexandra Menchikova, but my father calls me Sasha.
Here, do have some quail.
Do they have quail in Russia?
Please tell the ambassador that this great frost
is the most severe ever to have visited these islands.
Tell him that in Norfolk,
a young countrywoman was seen to turn visibly to powder
and was blown away in a puff of dust in the icy blast.
Most amusing.
Don't worry, my dear.
This absurd affection will not last the season.
After all, she's a foreigner.
My Lord Orlando, you're in danger of becoming a fool.
You're ruining what could be the finest career in the land, and for what?
l no longer care for a career, Moray. l'm only interested in love.
But don't you see in courting a Cossack, you're humiliating not only your fiancee
but the entire female population of this country?
Besides which, they have nothing. Why do you think they're here?
For your sake, l would hunt wolf instead of rabbit
and drink vodka instead of whiskey.
How generous.
As for marriage to the good Lady Euphrosyne,
the thing is so palpably absurd
– that l scarcely give it a thought. – How gallant.
l feel as if l've been hooked through the nose
and rushed through the waters painfully, yet with my own consent.
How brave.
My Lord, have you quite forgotten that we are betrothed?
My Lady, l am being constantly reminded.
You speak so lightly of it. You've betrayed me.
The treachery of men.
lt would never have worked.
A man must follow his heart.
There.
– Where you live? – l do.
By yourself?
Well, yes.
At the moment.
No brother? No sister?
You, Sasha?
lf l had brother, l wouldn't be here. My father only has me.
Nothing thicker than a knife's blade separates melancholy from happiness.
Why are you sad?
Because…
Because l can't bear this happiness to end.
But we are together.
Yes, now,
but what about tomorrow and the day after?
Orlando, l think you suffer from a strange melancholy,
which is you suffer in advance.
Look at me. Look.
You are too serious, Orlando.
Yet not serious enough.
– Shadows. You saw shadows. – You were in his arms.
– lt was illusion in light. – Then what were you doing?
– He was taking me across deck. – But l saw you.
May God destroy me if l, Family Menchikov, would lie in arm of sailor.
Sasha, l cannot think of a life without you.
– Stay with me. Don't ever go. – But it's impossible.
– But why? – Because when the ice breaks, we must go.
But we're linked. Our destinies are linked.
– You're mine! – Why?
Because l adore you.
Meet me at midnight at London Bridge.
We'll fly away as free as birds. Lots of air. Very fresh.
There. lt's decided.
Speak of me as l am.
Nothing extenuate, nor set down aught in malice.
Then speak of one who loved not wisely but too well,
of one not easily jealous
but being wrought perplexed in the extreme,
of one whose hand, like the base lndian,
threw a pearl away worth more than all his tribe.
l kissed thee ere l killed thee.
No way but this.
By killing myself to die upon a kiss.
Terrific play.
She will. She will be here.
Help. Help!
Help!
The treachery of women.
– Good morning! – Good morning!
lt's now time to awake!
To such a fine morning.
From such a long, refreshing sleep.
– Six days, you say? – Tomorrow will be the seventh.
This pleasing
Shining, wondrous day
The Lord Orlando is sleeping.
l can find only three words to describe the female sex.
None of which are worth expressing.
«When, in disgrace with Fortune and men's eyes»,
«l all alone beweep my outcast state»,
«and trouble Heaven with my bootless cries»,
«and look upon myself, and curse my fate».
Poetry.
Get off!
Off! Off! Off!
Thank you.
l was thinking.
Sitting here as we are.
lt's odd, considering how common the name of Greene is,
that the Greene family came over with the Conqueror,
and is, in fact, from the highest nobility in France.
Oh, really?
Unfortunately, the Greenes came down in the world,
and we've done little more
than leave our name to the borough of Greenwich.
And now, Mr. Greene, to the subject closer to my heart and yours,
the sacred subject of poetry.
You know, l once broke a lady's fan in my enthusiasm to find a rhyme.
Enthusiasm can be dangerous.
As a youth, l was often mocked for my love of poetry and solitude.
– Tragic. – And, of course, Mr. Greene,
your works hold pride of place in my library.
To me, there is a certain glory about a man who can express in words
those great emotions that others can only feel.
You know, l scarcely dared to ask to make your acquaintance
for l feel that l can offer nothing in return.
l'm sure that any writer would be more than willing to accept your hospitality.
Do you think so?
lf we're to speak of poetry, then let us first speak of poets' lives.
Do you know how Hamletwas written?
Written while the bailiffs were pounding at Shakespeare's door.
No wonder so many of his plays show the faults they do.
l'm sure you're right.
How can a genius work when he cannot pay the bills?
When l say «work», l mean work.
You see, people who haven't labored in this way
don't understand that real poetry is neither easy nor easily produced.
You know, l feel that l can understand a little, Mr. Greene,
because l have, myself, been so rash as to attempt to write some verse.
Did l hear a mouse's squeak?
– l must say l didn't hear anything. – Doubtless, you're in good health.
My own, My lord, has been so bad it's a marvel l'm still alive.
l've an enlarged heart, a spleen, and a diseased liver.
But above all, there are sensations in my spine which defy description.
There's one knob, about a third from the top, which burns like fire.
Second from the bottom cold as ice.
Sometimes l feel as if 1 ,000 wax tapers were alight,
and people were throwing fireworks inside my brain and l…
l'm so sensitive. l can feel a rose leaf through my mattress.
ln short, l'm a piece of machinery so finely made and curiously put together
that it confounds me to think that l've only sold 1 1 5 copies of my poem.
But it has to be said that this is largely due
to what can only be described as a conspiracy against me.
But, Mr. Greene, surely your work is widely admired by all the young poets,
including, dare l say it…
All the young writers will turn out any trash that will sell.
lt hurts me to say it for l love literature as l love life,
but the art of poetry is dead in England.
– You think so? – Of course,
had l a pension of £300 a year
paid quarterly,
l'd live for literature alone. l'd dedicate myself to fine writing.
But sadly, it's necessary to have a pension to do it.
About £300 a year.
Paid quarterly.
Mr. Greene, l wonder would you be so kind as to give me your opinion of my efforts?
By all means if l can find the time.
For time is money, and l must write to eat when not in the pursuit of art.
Of course, l will arrange for the small matter of the £300.
– To be paid quarterly? – As you wish.
My dear friend.
«Death of a Lover».
Listen to this, my friend. This is the great work of my gracious host
soon to be, congratulate me, friend, my patron.
«His heart was broken, cleft in two»
«Abandoned, lost What could he do»?
«An end to this», he wretched cried
«She said she loved me, but she lied»
«And so betrayed, he fell and died»
Try as he might, this gracious, noble lord
who lifts his pen and thinks he then can write, cannot.
For who can pen when he is bored?
The mind of leisure only can be trite.
This pretty knight who feebly lifts his sword…
«To make a witless thrust against his doom»
«ls foiled by what his noble birth affords»
«Dogs, dogs, more dogs And far too many rooms»
«So Fortune smiles on those That own the land»
«And frowns at trivia From the dabbler's hand»
l would like you to drop this in the midst of the filthiest manure.
– And Mr. Greene's pension, sir? – Pay it quarterly.
– Abroad? – As your ambassador, Your Majesty.
Ambassador? l see.
Once the balance of power has been established here in Europe,
we must certainly turn our attention to the East.
Well, Orlando…
l fear you will be quite starved for conversation and amusement
in such a remote corner of the world.
However, l believe they have an interest in horticulture.
l'd like you to bring them some tulips.
My dear sir, please accept my hospitality.
Feel that my home is your home,
and call upon me as you would a brother for any of your needs.
You really are too kind.
And l must say l'm most impressed by your command of the English language.
l hadn't expect… l mean, l wasn't led to believe…
Why are you here?
l am here as a representative of His Majesty's government.
Yes?
lt has been said to me that the English make a habit of collecting
countries.
We have no designs upon your sovereignty at all.
No, none at all.
You would assist us in defense against mutual enemies?
So, Orlando, I salute your country.
To England, green and pleasant land.
And…
And l salute your country.
So spacious
and so warm.
Yes. To the glorious sun,
which shines so brightly on this bountiful earth.
Quite so.
Yes. Yes.
– To the beauty of nature. – And, of course,
to the beauty of women and the joys of love.
l see. You are here as a casualty of love, my friend.
They're not like us fellows.
Women.
lt is said
Man should reverence his Guardian Lord who created him
and from a single being created, of like nature, his mate.
Then from those two,
scattered like seeds countless men and women.
So, Orlando…
Let us now drink to brotherly love.
To the manly virtues,
loyalty,
courage…
Take me to your master, my good fellow.
l said take me to your master.
Does he speak English? Do you speak English?
Now look, l can assure you he will want to see me. Just let me pass.
There's a good man.
Lord Orlando.
l…
May l present myself?
l am the Archduke Harry,
emissary from Her Majesty.
l have come to inform you that your 1 0 years here as ambassador
have been well-appreciated by Her Majesty
who would like to celebrate the new century
by raising you to the highest rank in the peerage.
There must be a party.
Though, of course, one must demonstrate the gravity of an investiture.
A large party. Food and entertainment.
But of course, you know the local customs.
Exactly who l should invite, protocol, who's who, and so forth.
Strange.
Most strange.
Perhaps they don't hold punctuality in high regard?
As a representative of Her Majesty, Queen Anne,
l am pleased and honored
to bestow the most noble Order of the Bath
upon this loyal servant.
For ambassadorial services rendered to the Crown
and for the glory of God.
l'm sorry to arrive in this fashion, but we must talk.
But this is outrageous!
l was expecting you as a guest at my party.
l didn't realize you were entertaining hostilities.
l was warned that Englishmen would be dangerous for me.
But l would like to give you an opportunity to prove this wrong.
Let me introduce you. This is the Archduke Harry from England.
Delighted.
Orlando, our enemies are at the city wall.
Will you help?
You wish me to take arms?
Surely, Orlando, you, an Englishman, are not afraid.
Sir!
My Lord.
Despite these appalling manners,
we must keep our interests alive in this region.
What do you recommend?
– Harry, distribute your arms. – To these fellows? But, sir…
Do as l say.
Come on. Follow me.
Brother.
Leave him.
– Leave him. – This is a dying man.
He's not a man. He's the enemy.
Same person.
No difference at all.
Just a different sex.
Well, here l am again.
Here's some more invitations, milady.
ls not this the lady famed for her literary gatherings?
Yes, ma'am, but you could not possibly venture there alone.
Why ever not?
Society, ma'am, is full of dangerous individuals, wits and poets.
Where'er you walk
Cool gales shall fan the glade
And how is your leg now, Mr. Swift?
l have to tell you that the gout has left my left leg and is traveled to my right.
– The conversation is of legs. – The gout, Mr. Pope.
– You are an expert in this field? – l believe l can say l have some knowledge.
A little learning is a dangerous thing.
Mr. Pope! l must write that down at once.
l already have, madam.
lf taken as a science, the study of the ailments can be quite fascinating.
lndeed, l believe science to be more interesting than poetry.
Do you?
Pray, sir, elaborate.
Well, the systematic study, exploration,
and taming of the material world
is surely a proper occupation for a man.
Compared to which, the introverted art of scribbling…
ls surely the occupation of…
A fool?
Sir, l admit to a general rule that every poet is a fool,
but you yourself may serve to show it that every fool is not a poet.
Mr. Pope, you are pleased to be witty.
They are all words and no breeding, Archduke.
– But so amusing. – Countess, forgive me,
but the young lady who has joined us bears an extraordinary resemblance…
– The Lady Orlando. – Orlando?
And we're so proud of you, Harry. The Order of the Bath. Marvelous!
Cream?
Shall crowd
Into a shade
Well, how pleasant it is idly to sip tea in the presence of a gracious lady.
lndeed, Mr. Addison. As our good friend Dr. Johnson says,
every man is or desires to be an idler.
Perhaps not every woman, Mr. Swift.
Women have no desires, only affectations.
lndeed, women are but children of larger growth.
But l consider woman to be a beautiful, romantic animal,
who should be adorned in furs and feathers, pearls and diamonds.
Apart from my wife, of course, who will insist upon attempting to learn Greek,
which is so very unbecoming l can hardly tolerate her company at breakfast.
– Why do they do it? – Every woman is, at best, a contradiction.
And frankly, most women have no characters at all.
Present company excepted, of course.
The lady is aflame.
And silent.
Perfect.
Gentlemen, l find it strange.
You are poets, each one of you, and speak of your Muse in the feminine.
And yet you appear to feel neither tenderness,
nor respect towards your wives, nor towards females in general.
Madam, l have only the highest regard and purest respect for females.
l find no evidence of that sentiment in your conversation.
Conversation is a place where one plays with ideas, my dear lady.
Though one forges them quite alone.
– Quite so. – Quite, quite.
The intellect is a solitary place
and, therefore, quite unsuitable a terrain for females,
who must discover their natures through the guidance of a father or husband.
And if she has neither?
Then, however charming she may be, dear lady,
she is lost.
None of us knew what had happened.
'Tis extraordinary.
And to think we could have been so charmingly misled.
The Lady Orlando?
The same.
We wish to inform you, madam,
that you are a party to several major lawsuits
that have been preferred against you concerning the property.
The family seat.
Pray, continue.
One, you are legally dead
and, therefore, cannot hold any property whatsoever.
Fine.
Two, you are now female.
Which amounts to much the same thing.
Pending the legal judgment, however,
you have the law's permission to reside in the property
– in a state of incognito. – Or incognita as the case may be.
Harry!
There is only one solution in your current predicament.
lndeed?
l can offer you a house to rival your own.
– l don't quite understand. – l confess.
Orlando, to me, you were and always will be, whether male or female,
the pink, the pearl, and the perfection of your sex.
l'm offering you my hand.
Archduke. That's so very kind of you, yes.
– l cannot accept. – But l…
l am England, and you are mine.
l see. On what grounds?
That l adore you.
And this means that l belong to you?
– You're refusing me? – l am.
– l'm sorry. – But, Orlando,
with your history, quite frankly, who else would have you?
Do you realize what you're turning down?
With your ambiguous sexuality, which l am prepared to tolerate,
this is your last chance of respectability.
Can't breathe.
You will die a spinster, dispossessed and alone.
Spinster!
Alone!
Nature, Nature, l am your bride. Take me.
– You are hurt, ma'am? – l am dead, sir.
Dead? That's serious. Can l help?
Will you marry me?
Ma'am, l would gladly.
But l fear my ankle is twisted.
– What's that? – The future.
Some milk?
Oh, my God. l don't yet know your name, sir.
How strange. l feel as though l know everything about you.
When like meets like.
– My name is Shelmerdine, ma'am. – Orlando.
So, it only remains to fill in such unimportant details as…
What we do and so on.
– You can see for yourself what l was. – Was?
You see, l'm about to lose everything.
Then you can come with me.
Where are you going?
Back to America when the wind changes to the southwest.
America.
l've been abroad, but East.
Then you know as well as l how good it is to travel.
Like a free spirit, unfettered by position or possession.
Unfettered?
Are you an adventurer by profession?
My profession, if you can call it that, is the pursuit of liberty.
«Like the bright shade of some immortal dream»
«Which walks, when tempest sleeps»…
«The wave of life's dark stream»
You don't really want a husband.
l suppose yourjourney's to be hazardous at times.
l think you want a lover.
You have fought in battles like a man?
l have fought.
– Blood? – lf necessary, yes.
Freedom must be taken. Freedom must be won.
– lf l were a man… – You?
l might choose not to risk my life for an uncertain cause.
l might think that freedom won by death was not worth having.
ln fact…
You might choose not to be a real man at all.
Say, if l was a woman…
You?
l might choose not to sacrifice my life
caring for my children, nor my children's children.
Nor to drown anonymously in the milk of female kindness.
But instead, say, to go abroad.
Would l then be…
A real woman?
l think l'm going to faint. l've never felt better in my life.
«l arise from dreams of thee»
«ln the first sweet sleep of night»
«When the winds are breathing low»
«And the stars are shining bright»
But it is day.
Days and nights mingle in your sweet embrace, Orlando.
– Who's there? – Excuse me, milady.
There are two officers outside with a warrant from the Queen.
– The Queen? – Victoria, ma'am.
The gentlemen say they must speak to you in person.
l had almost forgotten.
Her Ladyship.
The lawsuits are settled.
My sex is pronounced indisputably and beyond the shadow of a doubt female.
«Therefore, heirs male of my body»… Well, the rest can be taken as read.
l lose everything unless l have a son.
So, you're free.
l think the spirit of this century has finally taken me and broken me.
That would be sad if it were true.
But it is not. Come with me.
l cannot. l can't just follow you.
You can stay and stagnate in the past or leave and live for the future.
The choice is yours!
– As a man, one has choices, Shelmerdine. – Orlando, you can do whatever you want.
– Would you like to have a child with me? – So that you can keep your house?
No, not for the house, Shelmerdine. Perhaps for love.
These are the times that try men's souls.
My love is for mankind. l must fight for liberty.
– l must fight for a future. – For a future?
This future of yours, Shelmerdine, when's it going to begin?
Today? Or is it always tomorrow?
Touche, Orlando.
The wind.
The southwest wind.
Good bye, Shelmerdine. Good luck!
Orlando!
lt's really very good.
Written from the heart.
l think it'll sell.
Providing you rewrite a little.
You know, increase the love interest, give it a happy ending.
By the way, how long did this draft take you?
Come on. Come on.
She, for there can be no doubt about her sex,
is visiting the house she finally lost for the first time in over 100 years.
She does still have certain natural advantages, of course.
She is tall and slim
with a slightly androgynous appearance that many females of the time aspire to.
Then her upbringing.
She's lived for 400 years and hardly aged a day.
And because this is England, everyone pretends not to notice.
But she has changed.
She is no longer trapped by destiny.
And ever since she let go of the past,
she found her life was beginning.
I am coming, I am coming
I am coming through
Coming across the divide to you
In this moment of unity
Feeling an ecstasy to be here
To be now At last, I am free
– Why are you sad? – I'm not. I'm happy.
Look. Look up there.
Yes, at last, at last To be free of the past
And of a future that beckons me
I am coming, I am coming Here I am
Neither a woman Nor a man
We are joined We are one with a human face
I am on Earth And I am in outer space
I'm being born and I am dying
I am on Earth And I am in outer space
I'm being born and I am dying