CAPTIONS PAID FOR BY CARTOON NETWORK
Count Spankulot: I ARRIVE.
LIKE A SHADOW IN THE NIGHT...
THE HUNTER WHO PREYS UPON WRONGDOERS.
I DELIVER MY PUNISHMENT SWIFTLY.
AND WITHOUT REGRETS.
MY VICTIMS BEG FOR MERCY.
AND OFFER TO MAKE DEALS.
THEY TRY TO RUN...
BUT THERE IS NOWHERE TO RUN,
AND THERE IS NOWHERE TO HIDE.
FOR THOSE I HUNT, I HAVE BUT ONE THING...
A GOOD SPANKING!
[ LAUGHS EVILLY ]
THEY CALL ME COUNT SPANKULOT...
THE BOUNTY HUNTER OF BOTTOMS.
[ LAUGHS EVILLY ]
I ADMINISTER SPANKINGS.
TO THOSE NAUGHTY CHILDREN.
THAT DESERVE THEM.
PERHAPS THEY'VE TOILET PAPERED.
SOMEONE'S HOUSE... [ LAUGHS ]
OR KEPT A LIBRARY BOOK A LITTLE TOO LONG.
THEN I AM SUMMONED.
TO APPLY MY POWERFUL PALM.
TO THEIR POSTERIOR!
BUT ONE DAY, SOMETHING HAPPENED.
I WAS TO SEEK OUT A BOY.
NAMED STANLEY STANSKI.
HE HAD RUNG DOORBELLS AND RAN.
JUST ONE TOO MANY TIMES,
SO I WAS TO ADMINISTER THE HAND.
OF JUSTICE TO HIS BACKSIDE.
[ SPANKING ]
WITH THE SOUND OF SPANK.
THE NIGHT ECHOED [ EVIL LAUGHTER ]
AND THEN, IT HAPPENED.
[ CHILD CRYING ]
[ GASPS ]
WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO OUR CARLOS?!
CARLOS?
I HEREBY FIND THIS HERE DEFENDANT GUILTY
ON ALL COUNTS OF ILLEGALLY
SPANKING AN INNOCENT CHILD!
I DON'T KNOW HOW IT HAPPENED.
I MUST HAVE, UH, GOTTEN
THE WRONG ADDRESS, OR SOMETHING.
A LIKELY STORY!
GET THIS SPANK-HAPPY VAMPIRE
OUT OF MY COURTROOM!
I AM SORRY!
I WOULD NEVER, EVER GIVE
AN UNWARRANTED SPANK.
NO, NO!
NO INNOCENT BOTTOM SHOULD
EVER FEEL MY POWERFUL...
THEY LOCKED ME AWAY FOR A LONG TIME...
LONG ENOUGH TO DO SOME THINKING.
IT WAS THERE THAT I MADE A VOW...
A VOW THAT I WOULD NEVER, EVER USE MY POWER.
TO SPANK CHILDREN AGAIN.
INSTEAD, I WOULD HELP THEM... BUT HOW?
BATTLE STATIONS, WE'VE
GOT TO DEFEND THAT PLAYGROUND!
WHEE! [ LAUGHS ]
- ALL RIGHT, TEAM, - LET'S MOVE OUT!
EVERYBODY BATTLE POSITIONS!
COME ON!
[ SHOUTING ]
GET READY, TEAM!
[ FOOTSTEP ]
FIRE!
YEAH! YEAH!
HOLD IT!
HOLD YOUR FIRE!
[ COUGHING ]
THOSE PESKY KIDS NEXT DOOR ARE
RUINING OUR FUN AT THE PLAYGROUND,
MR. WINK.
INDEED, MR. FIBB.
PERHAPS WE SHOULD TAKE A MORE DRASTIC STEP.
[ SCREAMING ]
SHALL WE DESTROY THEM
ONCE AND FOR ALL, MR. FIBB?
THAT WOULD BE MOST... ENOUGH!
- HUH? - HUH?
Together: HUH?
I WILL NOT ALLOW YOU FIENDS TO BRING HARM
TO THESE INNOCENT CHILDRENS!
HUH? OHHH!
WHOA!
AND NOW, VILE SCOUNDRELS,
YOUR HEINIES BELONG TO ME!
[ LAUGHS EVILLY ]
OH, PLEASE, NO!
OW! OW! OH!
OH! OW! OW!
OW! OW!
HEY, WHAT ARE YOU... YOU CAN'T...
OW-W-W! MOMMY!
[ BOTH PANTING ]
BE GONE, EVIL ADULTS,
OR YOU SHALL ONCE AGAIN
FACE THE POWER OF MY PALM!
[ ALL GASP ]
[ SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY ]
BOY, WE REALLY SHOWED THEM, EH?
WHA-A-AT?!
WE-E-E SHOWED THEM!
US KIDS NEXT DOOR RULE!
- YOU'RE NOT HERE - TO SPANK US?
AND WHAT DO YOU MEAN,
"US KIDS NEXT DOOR," BUB?
I, COUNT SPANKULOT, HAVE DECIDED
TO JOIN THE KIDS NEXT DOOR TO MAKE AMENDS
FOR ALL THE SHAMEFUL YEARS
I SPENT PUNISHING CHILDRENS.
OH, FORGET IT!
YEAH, GIVE ME A BREAK!
[ THUNDER CRASHES ]
OKAY, OKAY, OKAY, SOUNDS GOOD.
[ LAUGHS ] EXCELLENT!
NOW, MY FRIENDS, LET US GET BACK
TO THE TREE HOUSE, FOR THE DAWN APPROACHES.
I'll DRIVE.
Together: HUH?!
WHOA! W-W-WHOA!
[ SPANKING ]
[ SNORING ]
MAN, LOOK AT HIM.
WE GOT TO GET RID OF THAT FOOL.
THEN YOU WAKE HIM UP,
AND YOU TELL HIM TO LEAVE.
UNH-UNH!
I'M NOT GONNA WAKE HIM!
YOU WAKE HIM!
- Numbuh 2: OH, AND GET SPANKED - BECAUSE HE'S CRANKY.
IN THE MORNING... FORGET IT!
ACTUALLY, I THINK THE COUNT
MIGHT COME IN HANDY FOR TOMORROW NIGHT'S
SUPER-BIG MISSION.
Together:
WHAT SUPER-BIG MISSION?
[ ALARM WAILS ]
W-WHAT'S GOING ON?
HEY, COUNT, DON'T JUST
SIT THERE, WE'VE GOT A MISSION.
COME ON!
A MISSION!
Together:
LET'S GO! A MISSION!
GO, GO, GO!
OH, BOY, OH, BOY, OH, BOY!
OH, BOY, OH, BOY!
COME ON, FELLAS, WHAT'S THE MISSION?
HUH? WHAT IS IT?
HUH? COME ON, TELL ME, PLE-E-A-ASE!
I'll BE YOUR BEST FRIEND.
[ GRUNTS ]
- JUST TELL ME. - I WON'T... [ GROWLS ]
ALL RIGHT, LISTEN UP.
- WINK AND FIBB HATE CHILDREN - SO MUCH
- THEY'RE BUILDING A MORE POWERFUL - SUPER-CHAIR
CAPABLE OF DESTROYING
EVERY PLAYGROUND IN THE WORLD,
- SO WE'RE GONNA - HIT THEM FIRST.
OR SHOULD I SAY SPANK THEM FIRST?
FINALLY, A MISSION TO HELP CHILDRENS.
LET'S DO THIS.
ALL RIGHT.
IT'S TIME, COUNT.
ARE YOU READY?
JUST WATCH ME.
- I'll DELIVER THE SPANKIEST SPANK - EVER SEEN!
AND THE CHILDREN OF THE WORLD
WILL SWING ON THEIR SWINGS
AND SLIDE ON THEIR SLIDES WITHOUT FEAR!
I DON'T KNOW, NUMBUH 1.
I-I STILL DON'T LIKE THIS.
PATIENCE, NUMBUH 2, PATIENCE.
THOSE WHO THREATEN CHILDRENS
SHALL FEEL THE STINGY WRATH
OF COUNT SPANKULOT!
[ LAUGHS ]
Man: AHHH! AHHH! AHHH!
WHOA! LOOK AT HIM GO!
HE'S LIKE THE PERFECT SPANKING MACHINE.
NOW THAT THE COUNT'S GOT THEM DISTRACTED,
LET'S GO SQUASH THAT SUPER-CHAIR.
HOLD ON, NUMBUH 4.
I DON'T THINK YOU'LL WANT
TO MISS THIS FOR A SECOND.
Woman: OHHH! OWWWW!
OOOH! OH-OWWWW!
LET THE ACHINESS OF YOUR BOTTOMS
BE A REMINDER
OF THE POWER OF COUNT SPANK... YOU!
YOU! YOU!
YOU!
- [ LAUGHS NERVOUSLY ] - J-JUDGE?
HOW DARE YOU COME INTO MY HOUSE
AND SPANK ME AND MY WIFE!
OH, MY BOTTOM!
I CAN'T FEEL MY BOTTOM!
BUT... BUT, I-I DIDN'T MEAN TO.
I-I-I THOUGHT I-I-I WAS HELPING CHILDRENS.
I HEREBY SENTENCE THE DEFENDANT
TO ELEVENTY TRILLION YEARS
WITH NO CHANCE OF PAROLE EVER!
E-E-E-VER!
GET HIM OUTTA HERE!
[ GIGGLES ]
[ SHUDDERS ]
OH, BAD LUCK, COUNT.
AND YOU WERE
SUCH A GREAT MEMBER OF THE TEAM.
R-REALLY?
OH, THANK YOU, NUMBUH 1.
THAT MEANS A LOT.
- I THOUGHT YOU SAID - THAT WE SENT COUNT SPANKULOT
TO THE JUDGE'S HOUSE ON PURPOSE
SO WE COULD GET RID OF HIM...
- Together: - Shh! Shh! Shh!
JUST LIKE WHEN WE TRICKED HIM INTO SPANKING
THAT KID CARLOS BEFORE!
[ GASPS ]
YOU MISERABLE... AHHHH!
Judge: ORDER!
ORDER, I SAY! ORDER!
COME ON, NOW!
PICK UP THE PACE!
KIDS NEXT DOOR, REPORTING FOR DUTY!
BAD NEWS, TEAM.
WHEN I OPENED THE KIDS NEXT DOOR
SUPER-SECRET MAIL DROP THIS MORNING,
I DISCOVERED THIS.
"YOU ARE CORDIALLY INVITED TO"...
DON'T TOUCH IT!
WHAT?!
IT'S JUST AN INVITATION!
AN INVITATION
TO THE KIDS ALL-TOWN COTILLION!
AAAAH!
WE GOT INVITED?
THAT'S THE BIGGEST SHINDIG IN TOWN.
READ THE FINE PRINT...
"WITH YOUR HOSTS THE DELIGHTFUL
CHILDREN FROM DOWN THE LANE."
DOES THAT MEAN WE CAN'T GO?
OF COURSE WE'RE GOING!
Together: YAY!
WE'LL GO TO THEIR LITTLE SOIREE,
BUT NOT FOR FUN.
IT'LL BE A MISSION TO FIND OUT WHAT THOSE
DELIGHTFUL CHILDREN ARE UP TO.
WE CAN'T BE CONSPICUOUS.
I THINK FIRST WE'LL HAVE TO COUPLE UP
SO AS TO AVOID DRAWING ATTENTION
TO OUR REAL MI...
UH, OH, I, UH.
LOOKS LIKE NIGEL UNO NEEDS A DATE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
[ GROANS ]
[ TELEPHONE RINGS ]
HELLO.
LIZZIE, IT'S, UH, IT'S NIGEL.
[ LAUGHTER ]
LISTEN, THE GLOBAL
KIDS NEXT DOOR ORGANIZATION
REQUIRES YOUR COOPERATION ON A MISSION
OF THE UTMOST IMPORTANCE.
Should you choose to accept,
you will be deputized
- and given - the temporary numbuh of 49.
I'D LOVE TO GO ON A DATE WITH YOU, NIGEY!
It's not a date!
IT IS A... PICK YOU UP AT 7:00!
What should I wear?
SOMETHING WITH FEATHERS.
OOH! OR MAYBE A PRETTY, PRETTY
PRINCESS DRESS!
[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]
[ LAUGHTER ]
I LOVE THOSE SHOES... OHHH!
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE CORSAGE, NIGEY.
IT'S NOT A CORSAGE.
IT'S A TWO-WAY COMMUNICATOR,
AN ESSENTIAL COMPONENT OF OUR...
Calling Numbuh 1.
YES, GO AHEAD.
YOU'RE NEAT!
[ GROANS ]
Together: [ Monotone ]
HELLO! HELLO!
GOOD EVENING!
HELLO!
SO GLAD YOU COULD COME!
WELL, WELL, WELL, IF IT ISN'T NIGEL UNO
AND HIS LITTLE PLAYMATES.
LISTEN, YOU SNOTTY LITTLE PUNKS,
I'VE GOT MY EYE ON YOU, AND I DON'T BLINK.
RELAX, NIGEL.
WE ONLY WISH TO HAVE FUN WITH OUR GUESTS
FOR WHOM WE'VE PROVIDED FREE
FOOD AND ENTERTAINMENT.
SO, LET'S PARTY!
[ BIG-BAND MUSIC PLAYING ]
WHOO! WHOO-HOO!
YAY! YAY!
OH, COME ON, NIGEY.
IT'LL BE FUN.
GOOD LUCK ON YOUR DATE, NIGEY.
[ GROANS ]
[ BIG-BAND MUSIC CONTINUES ]
STEADY, TEAM.
REMEMBER... WE'RE ON A MISSION.
NUMBUH 5 IS GONNA DO SOME RECONNAISSANCE
ON THOSE SANDWICHES.
I GOT YOUR BACK ON THAT.
UGH, NUMBUH 4, KEEP AN EYE OUT FOR... HEY!
I THINK THERE'S A SL-O-O-W SONG
COMING UP, NIGEY.
[ LAUGHS NERVOUSLY ]
UH, WOULD YOU EXCUSE ME FOR A MOMENT?
[ Muffled ] MMM. WOW.
- THESE LITTLE SANDWICHES ARE - TASTY.
AND THE PUNCH DON'T LOOK BAD, EITHER.
[ SLURPS ]
STOP!
PBHT!
[ BEEPING ]
- STATISTICAL READINGS INDICATE - IT'S...
UM, UH, CHERRY-FLAVORED.
LOOK, NUMBUH 1, I AM
KEEPING MY EYES PEELED,
BUT I AM TELLING YOU THIS IS JUST A DANCE.
YOU SERIOUSLY NEED TO CHILL.
YEAH, JUST KICK BACK ALREADY.
ENJOY YOUR DATE.
Lizzie: NIGEY!
WHOO-HOO!
OH, NIGEY!
[ BIG-BAND MUSIC PLAYS ]
[ CLEARS THROAT ]
SHRIMP... HYAH!
WHA-AAAH!
[ Sighing ] OH, NIGEL, THIS HAS BEEN ALMOST.
THE PERFECT EVENING.
WELL, I MUST ADMIT, NOTHING SEEMS AMISS,
AND WELL, THIS IS... [ GASPS ] PHOTOS!
COME ON, NIGEY, FOLLOW ME.
OKAY, NOW PUT YOUR ARM AROUND ME,
AND HOLD MY HAND LIKE THIS.
OH, THIS IS STUPID.
OH, COME ON, NIGEY.
IT'S NOT A DATE
WITHOUT AN OFFICIAL PICTURE.
Delightful Children from.
Down the Lane: SAY CHEESE...
NIGEY.
- LOOK OUT! - AHHH!
NIGEL!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
STAND STILL.
CHEESE!
[ GRUNTS ]
WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?
THAT IS NOT A CAMERA.
IT'S... A NEUROSUGGESTION RAY...
YOU KNOW YOUR OPTICAL MIND CONTROL DEVICES,
BUT WE'RE AFRAID THAT PUTS YOU
SADLY IN THE MINORITY.
Together: [ Monotone ]
JOIN US.
SEE... THEY ALL GOT THEIR PICTURES TAKEN!
FIENDS! YOU SAID YOU ONLY WANTED
TO HAVE FUN!
THIS IS FUN.
DELIGHTFULIZED MINIONS, TAKE THEM!
Together: [ Monotone ]
JOIN US.
WE'D LOVE TO JOIN YOU.
- WHERE ARE WE GOING? - OH!
[ GRUNTS ] NIGEL!
JOIN US.
NIGEL! WAIT!
NOT NOW, LIZZIE.
BUT WE DIDN'T GET OUR PICTURE!
FORGET ABOUT THE STUPID PICTURE.
NO!
- DON'T YOU WANT - TO BE ABLE TO LOOK BACK
ON THESE TREASURED MOMENTS YEARS FROM NOW?
I'D LIKE TO LIVE THAT LONG.
WELL, IF YOU'RE NOT GOING TO HOLD STILL
FOR THE OFFICIAL PHOTO, I'll.
JUST HAVE TO TAKE ONE OF MY OWN.
- FINE! - AAAH!
JUST KEEP MOVING!
I GOT A PRETTY GOOD CAMERA, YOU KNOW.
IT'S GOT AUTOFOCUS
WITH A BUILT-IN STAR FILTER.
AAAAH!
JOIN US.
FOR A GROUP SHOT?
GREAT IDEA!
AAAAH! RUN!
[ PANTING ]
COME ON!
OH, NIGEY!
I DEFINITELY WANT A PICTURE OF THIS!
Shh! BE QUIET.
AND IT'LL WORK, TOO, 'CAUSE
I HAVE 2,000-SPEED FILM LOADED,
SUITABLE FOR LOW LIGHTING
AND FAST ACTION CONDITIONS.
LIZZIE, THEY'LL HEAR US!
SO I JUST HOLD IT OUT HERE,
SET THE DIAL LIKE THIS,
PUSH THIS BUTTON, AND...
[ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS ]
Together: WHOA!
OH, NO! MY EYES!
MAN, THAT'S SOME FLASH.
OKAY, ONE MORE.
JUST IN CASE.
HEY!
I SHOULD HAVE GUESSED...
ONE FLASH NEUTRALIZES THE OTHER.
ALL RIGHT, IT'S TIME TO GET
THIS PARTY REALLY STARTED.
SO LET'S DANCE.
[ BIG-BAND MUSIC PLAYS ]
[ INDISTINCT TALKING ]
KIDS NEXT DOOR, GET THESE
PARTYGOERS OUT OF HERE.
I'M GOING TO GO DEAL
WITH THE DELIGHTFUL CHILDREN.
JUST ONE SECOND, MISTER!
FIRST, YOU SPEND ALMOST NO TIME
WITH ME THE ENTIRE NIGHT.
THEN YOU SAY YOU DON'T
WANT TO TAKE AN OFFICIAL PHOTO.
THEN YOU TAKE MY CAMERA
AND TAKE EVERYONE ELSE'S PICTURE INSTEAD!
- I DON'T KNOW - WHAT YOUR PROBLEM IS,
- BUT IF YOU DON'T - SHAPE UP SOON,
I'M NOT EVEN GONNA LET YOU WALK ME HOME.
AND THEN YOU'LL HAVE
TO GO TELL ALL YOUR FRIENDS
HOW YOU BLEW IT SO BAD ON YOUR DATE...
THIS... IS... NOT... A... DATE!
IT WAS NEVER A DATE,
AND EVEN IF YOU THOUGHT IT WAS
A DATE, I DON'T CARE!
I'VE GOT MORE IMPORTANT THINGS
TO WORRY ABOUT THAN SOME GIRL WHO'S...
WHO'S DATE-CRAZY!
[ DOOR SLAMS ]
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
THAT'S IT. SHOW'S OVER.
- OH, YOU DON'T WANT TO SEE THIS. - BACK UP, PEOPLE.
THE PARTY'S OVER, DELIGHTFUL DORKS.
TIME TO FACE THE MUSIC.
NIGEY, NIGEY, NIGEY.
NOW, WHY DID YOU HAVE TO GO
AND SPOIL SUCH A LOVELY EVENING?
NO MATTER... THE NIGHT IS STILL YOUNG.
[ WHIMPERS ]
LIKE YOU SAID, NIGEL, PARTY'S OVER.
Lizzie: NIGEL UNO...
I'D LIKE A WORD WITH YOU!
WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?
SHUT UP!
I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT
THIS WAS THE WORST DATE EVER!
ALL I WANT IS A LITTLE ATTENTION...
SOME ROMANCE... BUT WHAT DO I GET?!
YOU HUMILIATE ME IN FRONT OF EVERYBODY.
WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT?!
[ Sniffling ] YOU'RE JUST...
JUST A BIG, BAD DATE!
[ ELECTRICITY CRACKLES ]
YIKES!
WHAT?
LOOK OUT!
AAAH!
LIZZIE, YOU'RE BRILLIANT!
OH, NIGEY!
NOW, WAS THAT SO HARD?
AHHH!
COME ON.
[ ELECTRICITY CRACKLES ]
WHAT HAPPENED HERE?
[ EXPLOSIONS ]
Together: OHHHH!
DON'T YOU JUST LOVE FIREWORKS?
OHHHH!
WHOO-HOO!
WOW!
OHHHH!
WOW!
5... 4... 3... 2... 1.
♪ KIDS NEXT DOOR ♪ KIDS NEXT DOOR
[ ELECTRIC GUITAR SOLO ]
♪ KIDS NEXT DOOR 5... 4... 3... 2... 1.
♪ KIDS NEXT DOOR ♪ KIDS NEXT DOOR
[ ELECTRIC GUITAR SOLO ]
♪ KIDS NEXT DOOR ♪ KIDS NEXT DOOR
5... 4... 3... 2... 1.