双语合并 西少
恰兹超市
嘿 那群年轻人 少在我的店外撒野 Hey, you kids! Don't be bad outside my store!
我的店是正派经营的 I keep a nice store!
放弃吧 老头子 Give it up, old man!
我们只是一群酷酷坏小孩 在做年轻人的事 We're just cool, bad kids doing young stuff!
你们还想练滑板招数吗 You guys wanna do more skateboard moves?
－哪些招数 －很酷的那些招数 - Which ones? - The rad ones, that's which!
你们好吗 How are you kids?
你们知道你们的外公 想引起你们的注意吗 Did you know your grandpa's tryin'a get your attention?
好喔 滚吧 怪人 Yeah, yeah, screw off, weirdo.
"孙子" 什么意思 "Grandson," what's that mean?
他是那个邪教的信徒 He's one of those cult people.
他会崇拜一个叫罗伊的神经病 他说他是所有人的外公 They worship some psycho named Roy that says he's everybody's grandpa.
所以你今天想做什么 So, what do you want to do today?
吃点点心 然后总算让我亲你吗 Eat some snacks and maybe let me kiss you finally?
用我的嘴巴亲你 You know, with my mouth and stuff?
这活动正在进行 我们去看看吧 This is going on right now. Let's go check it out.
－天啊 －走吧 我们就去看看吧 - Aw, geez. - Come on, just for fun, you know?
不 这不是我‥ No, that's not what I'm...
你们一直以为我是宗教领袖 You guys keep thinking I'm a religious leader.
这不是宗教 这是真相 This isn't a religion, this is actual truth.
我在真实世界是科学家 I'm a scientist in real life.
但这不是真实世界 这是游戏 But this isn't real life, this is a video game.
你们至少能理解这点吧 You at least understand that much, right?
这是游戏 This is a video game?
－但你说我是你孙子 －所有人都是我孙子 - But you said, I'm your grandson. - I'm saying everyone is.
这里的所有人 这个世界除了我以外的所有人 Everyone here, everyone in this world but me.
你们都是我的孙子 你们叫莫迪 You're all my grandson, your name is Morty
你们被困在这个游戏里 我是来救你们出去的 you're stuck in a video game and I'm here to get you out.
我呢 我是你孙子吗 What about me? Am I your grandson?
我说了所有人都是 I just said everyone is!
－天啊 －太酷了 - Wow! - Incredible!
好 不要做这种反应 这不是宗教 Okay, but don't react like that, it's not a religion.
事情是这样的 This is what is happening.
你跟我和你姐在一间 叫毕西游戏世界的电子游乐场 You and me and your sister are at an arcade called Blips and Chitz.
但是被恐怖分子占领了 It's been taken over by terrorists.
断电了 游戏重新启动了 The power went out, the game restarted
你的人格被分散 进入了所有非玩家角色当中 and your identity has been splintered into all the non-player characters.
所以我就以罗伊的身份进来 这是玩家角色 So, I jacked in as Roy, that's the player character
我来带你们 即我的孙子莫迪 to get you, my grandson, Morty
在游戏结束和你死掉之前 离开这个游戏 out of the game before it's over and you die.
好 你请发问 Okay, question over here.
我是你的孙子吗 Am I your grandson?
天啊 对 你们每一个人 都是五十亿分之一的莫迪 Jesus! Yes! Every single one of you is one-five billionth of Morty.
你们所有人加起来就是莫迪 All of you, collectively, are Morty.
听着 我不是没耐心 Look, I don't wanna seem impatient
但是我们其实有很多需要做的事 but there's actually a lot more that we have to get done.
所以如果这么难的话 我们麻烦可就大了 So, if this is how hard it's gonna be we are in a lot of trouble.
桑美 干吗 Summer, what?
你一直打扰我 我就没办法成功 I can't do this if you keep bugging me!
你知道时间膨胀吗 Do you understand time dilation?
我在这里待一秒 就浪费了一个月的时间 I'm losing a month a second out here.
有群外星军团在杀人 我该怎么做 There's an alien army shooting people. What am I doing?
只是一小群外星恐怖分子而已 你效仿《虎胆龙威》就行 It's a small group of alien terrorists. Just do a Die Hard.
－什么意思 －偷偷摸摸、爬通风管 - What does that mean? - Sneak around, use air vents.
你没看过《虎胆龙威》吗 You've never seen Die Hard?
我才17岁 我当然没看过《虎胆龙威》 I'm 17. No, I've never seen fucking Die Hard!
《虎胆龙威》的主角也没看过 所以你没问题 Well, neither did the guy in Die Hard so you're nailing it.
祝你好运 Good luck!
－赖瑞 －不 我对天发誓 - Larry... - No, I'm at the end of my rope
我已经管不动这个孩子了 with this kid, I swear to God.
－有没有搞错 －你美丽的秀发呢 Oh, you gotta be kidding me! Your beautiful hair!
这不是女儿该剪的发型 This is not a daughter's haircut!
我不是女儿 我是孙子 I'm not a daughter, I'm a grandson.
我们家的宗教很完美 Your family had a perfectly fine religion!
我们是犹太教家庭 You were raised Jewish!
爸 说说看任何关于犹太教的细节 Dad, tell me anything specific about being Jewish.
有很多细节 我们要去庙里 There's a million things! You go to the temple
要戴一种特别的帽子 法拉法弗路腾 with the...the special hat, the falafafluten.
法拉法弗路腾吗 Oh, the falafafluten?
我们讲的犹太词都是胡诌的 Our Jewish words are gibberish
因为我们本质是个１４岁男孩 because we're a 14-year-old boy
信的是非教派基督教 who was raised non-denominational Christian
而且我们是在游戏里面 and we're in a video game!
我不想听这些虚摩腾海文 I don't need to hear this schmoitenheiven!
那我问你 孙子小姐 Let me ask you this little miss grandson
游戏角色小姐 little miss video game character.
你如果不是我女儿 If you're not my daughter
那你干吗站在我家 说这些切兹卡夫卡 why stand in my house spouting this chatschkopfka?
－干吗还住在这里 －问得好 Why even live here? Good question.
我女儿要走了 There she goes! My daughter!
她是被困在游戏里的小孩的 五十亿分之一 One-five billionth of a kid trapped in a video game!
对 你靠这歪理和大学学位 就付得起房租了 Yeah, that and a college degree will pay the rent!
你们到底想要什么 What do you people want?
我们有很多目标 We have many interests.
但我现在最想知道的 But right now, my primary one is the location
是你们保险箱的位置 of your safe.
我们是用代币换取数字货币 We exchange tokens for digital currency.
我们没有保险箱 We don't have a safe...
不对 你没有的是脑袋 Correction, what you don't have is a head.
这是武器还是医疗器材 Is this a weapon or a medical tool?
你们怎么会拿激光这么细的枪给我 Why would you give me a gun with a laser that thin?
你们有听到我跟他说他会没脑袋吗 Did you hear me? Tell him he wouldn't have a head!
他死了 对吧 He's dead, isn't he?
一般人就算开刀也会死 People die in surgery.
嘿 是谁碰了我 我不喜欢被碰 Hey! Don't touch me! I don't like being touched!
去确认人质状况 Check the hostages.
别让任何人效仿《虎胆龙威》 Make sure nobody else here is doing a Die Hard.
"你好 我叫莫迪" Hello, hello, hello My name is Morty
"我是被困在游戏里的14岁男孩" I'm a 14-year-old boy In a video game
－好耶 －天啊 - Yeah! - Aw, geez!
听着 我觉得我每解释一次 好像就会流失一些信徒 Yeah. Look. I feel like every time I explain this I lose followers.
但这不是宗教 But this isn't a religion.
我虽然有来自这个世界之上的讯息 And while I do have a message from a world beyond this one
我也需要让全世界听到这个讯息 and I do need the entire world to hear my message
但我不需要你们再为此写歌了 what I do not need is any more songs about it.
不要写这类型的歌 Not in this genre.
我很喜欢老派嘻哈 I'm an old-school hip-hop man.
我不是要叫你们尝试的意思 And, no, that's not an invitation for you to try it
因为我就直说了 我们的多元性不足 because I'm just gonna say it we're missing the mark on diversity.
跪下 我要逮捕你们 Get down! You're all under arrest
因为你们的信教方式错误 for being religious the wrong way!
这不是宗教 你就对我开枪吧 It's not a religion! You know what, just shoot me.
你以为你的神能让你刀枪不入吗 You think your god makes you bullet proof?
连真实世界都没有神了 There isn't even a god in the real world
你这碎片蠢蛋 这里面更没有神 you fragmented putz. There's extra no god in here.
嬉皮 像你这样耍嘴皮就等着吃子弹 You know what, hippy? Talking like that is why you're getting shot!
你如果杀了他 游戏就会结束 我们都会死掉 If you kill him, the game ends and we all die.
－跪下 小姐 －我不是小姐 - Get down, lady! - I'm not a lady.
你也不是士兵 And you're not a soldier.
我们是一个人 被分成好多个小碎片 We're one person, split into a lot of little pieces.
懂我的意思吗 兄弟 You feel me, dawg?
你不会伤害我的 你就是我 You're not gonna hurt me. You're me.
我叫凯文 我是海军陆战队员 今年３０岁 My name is Kevin! I'm a Marine! I'm 30!
我有点种族歧视 但我最好的朋友是一位移民 I'm a little racist but my best friend is an immigrant
他在某境外战争时给我当过翻译 that translated for me in a generic overseas war!
不对 我们才１４岁 我们喜欢吃披萨和自慰 That's not true. We're 14, we like pizza and masturbation.
我们会穿黄色衣服 发型看起来像咖啡色安全帽 We wear a yellow shirt and we have hair that looks like a brown helmet.
我们很想念我们的家人 And we miss our family.
我们又身陷险境了 And we're in way over our heads again.
－为什么每次都这样 －对吧 - Why's this always happen, man? - I know, right?
－天啊 －天啊 - Aw, geez. - Aw, geez.
－过来 －天啊 - Come here. - Aw, geez...
－天啊 －天啊 - Aw, geez. - Aw, geez.
－那是谁 －她的角色名叫玛塔 - Who is that? - Her video game name is Marta.
好 这样我就有办法处理了 Okay. See, this I can work with.
"偷偷摸摸、爬通风管 效仿《虎胆龙威》" "Sneak around. Crawl in some vents. Do a Die Hard."
滚球
天啊 好恶心 Oh, my God, it's disgusting!
其实很好吃 Actually, it tastes really good.
天啊 竟然很好吃 好恶心 Oh, my God, it's disgusting that it tastes good!
法兰克 你找到他了吗 请回报 Frank, have you found him? Report.
是对讲机 这很《虎胆龙威》 Oh, walkie-talkie. That's Die Hard.
就算没看过也猜得到 Don't have to see it to know that.
我是强斯 我再问一次 你找到他了吗 This is Jons. I repeat, have you found him?
中断‥对讲机 Breaker, breaker. Walkie-talkie.
我拿到你的对讲机了 混蛋 I got your walkie-talkie, bitch.
你在学《虎胆龙威》吗 Are you doing a Die Hard?
有可能 Maybe?
你是不是也在学 Are you also?
差不多 我的手下法兰克呢 More or less. And my associate, Frank?
你的手下法兰克 绝对不是在学《虎胆龙威》 Your associate Frank is definitely not doing a Die Hard.
他可能是在学鼠胆鼠萎 You might even say he's doing a "Die Easy."
因为我杀了他 他一下就死了 Because I killed him and it wasn't difficult.
冷静点 温斯洛 Calm yourself, Winslow.
温斯洛 Winslow!
能遇见《虎胆龙威》同好很不容易 请问怎么称呼 It's not every day one meets a fellow Die Hard enthusiast, Miss...
－叫我《虎胆龙威》吧 －好 《虎胆龙威》 - Call me "Die Hard." - Okay, "Die Hard."
请问你对《虎胆龙威》有什么了解 Tell me, what do you know about... Die Hard?
你问这个干吗 你在写关于《虎胆龙威》的书吗 What do you care? You writing a book about Die Hard?
我其实已经写过好几本了 As a matter of fact, I've written several.
太空各地每个有知觉的文明 Every sentient civilization across the galaxy
终究都会开发出同样的神话 eventually develops the same myth.
在半人马座叫《塔人》 In Centauri, it's known as "Tower Man."
猎户座有《桑伯格循环》 The Orionese have their "Thornberg Cycle."
在仙女座叫 And in Andromeda, it's called
《你以为自己能杀人太蠢了》 "Foolish to Have Imagined You'd Be Able to Kill."
这些都是《虎胆龙威》 All of them what you'd call Die Hard.
差别只在于有些文明 The difference being that cultures like mine
很清楚《虎胆龙威》的重要性 但我也开始质疑 are aware of its importance whereas I'm starting to doubt
你连一句台词都背不出来 you could even recall a single line.
对讲机《虎胆龙威》 混蛋 Walkie-talkie Die Hard, motherfucker.
不久之前 孙子教才刚被列为 Not so long ago Grandsonism was being dismissed
末日邪教 as a doomsday cult
但因为世界上大部分的人都认定 but since a majority of the world
自己其实很喜欢自慰和玩游戏 decided, "Hey, you know what? We like jerking off and playing video games
而且我们的姐姐在外面对抗恐怖分子 and our sister is out there fighting terrorists"
所以发生了很大的改变 major strides have been made.
全世界都团结一心 The world is united
因为我们加起来就是14岁的莫迪 because the world is one 14-year-old boy, Morty.
但这一切都是从何而来 But where is it all coming from?
有些人说孙子教领袖罗伊 Some say Grandsonism's leader, Roy
在这附近的山里有个秘密基地 has a secret base somewhere in these mountains.
我找不到 I couldn't find it.
所以我就拿着麦克风 So, I'm standing in the general area
随便找个地方站着 with a microphone.
《够好新闻》记者东尼报导 For Good Enough News, I'm Tony.
我的得力助手莫迪来了 There she is, my right-hand Morty.
太空船够多了吗 Got enough spaceships?
还没 我觉得再过五年的游戏时间 Not yet. I figure five more years of game time
我应该就能带所有假人口 前往假外太空了 before I can take the whole fake population into fake outer space.
我们要到外太空做什么 What do we do in outer space?
没做什么 那太空是假的 我们要一直前进 Nothing. It's fake. We keep going.
游戏的地图是有边界的 The game's map has edges
但游戏的引擎会让我们超越边界 but the game's engine will let us go past them.
这样就会强迫游戏重设 但游戏会先把我们赶出去 That will force the game to reset, but first, it will kick us out
莫迪应该能活下来 which Morty should survive.
也就是我们太空船上的莫迪 I mean, whatever amount of Morty we have onboard.
所以你如果没有 五十亿条泡了氯仿的手帕 So, if you don't have five billion handkerchiefs soaked in chloroform
希望你可以继续说服笨蛋相信我们 I hope you can keep flipping idiots to our cause.
他们不是笨蛋 外公 他们是我 They're not idiots, Grandpa. They're me.
等我们回到外面 你就会知道这有多好笑 You'll know how funny that is when we get back.
对了 我请人把你的天才爸爸接来了 By the way, I had your genius of a father picked up.
－他在那边 －什么 为什么 - He's over there. - What? Why?
我以为你会感激我呢 I thought you'd be grateful
比起放任他死去 接他过来你能更专心 and less distracted than if I let him die.
他自从丧妻之后状况就很差 He's been in real bad shape since he lost his wife.
－我妈吗 －你的假妈妈 - My mom? - Your not-at-all-real mom.
游戏里面的妈妈 A mom in a video game.
被你的一小部分占据 Occupied by a tiny fraction of yourself.
你的那一小部分已经永远死亡 A fraction of yourself which is now dead forever
但所谓积少成多 所以我就请人把你爸接过来 and fractions add up, so I had your dad brought here.
不客气 你这没血没泪的禽兽 You're welcome, you heartless monster.
玛塔 是爸爸 Marta, it's me, Dad.
我为你改信这个教了 I converted for you.
我叫莫迪 你也是 My name is Morty. So is yours.
你不用改信 我们都是莫迪 这是事实 And there's no conversion, we're both Morty, it's a fact.
好 女儿 你说得都对 Sure, honey, anything you say.
我不想吵架 我以你为荣 I don't want to fight. I'm proud of you.
你是不是生我气了 Are you mad at me because before you became
因为在你成为世上第一女强人前 the world's most powerful woman
我骂你的发型很丑 还骂你是放荡的无业游民 I shamed you for your haircut and called you a slutty jobless hobo?
如果是我 应该会有点生气 If I were you, I'd be a little mad about that.
你就是我 我干吗生自己的气 You are me and why would I be mad at myself?
有道理 这里有东西吃吗 Good point! Is there anything to eat around here?
休息室有小厨房 There's a kitchenette in the break room.
小厨房啊 真高级的待遇 Oh, a kitchenette you say, such red carpet treatment.
－你说什么 －谢谢 我很开心 - Excuse me? - I said thank you, I love it. We...
我们都是莫迪的一部分 We're all part of Morty!
但其中有些部分更重要 Some of us more important parts than others...
我爸的那部分莫迪是个混帐 Man, the part of me that's my father is a twat.
这在我们回到外面后也会很好笑 That's also gonna be funny when we get back.
你下次想学《虎胆龙威》时 Next time you try to do a Die Hard...
别学《虎胆龙威》主角躲在长桌底下 don't hide under a long table like the guy from Die Hard.
好 我不会的 Okay, I won't.
《中富典范》
你不是说她不懂 怎么学《虎胆龙威》吗 I thought you said she doesn't know how to do a Die Hard!
－她确实不懂 －她把我们一个个杀死了 - She doesn't. - She's killing us off one by one!
不然你以为 她会买冰淇淋请我们吃吗 What do you expect her to do? Buy us each an ice cream,
还是两球的 她在即兴发挥 two by two? She's improvising.
这样她就会落入我们的圈套 Which is how she's going to fall right into our trap.
我要拿武器到处乱晃 I'm going to wander the arcade unarmed
她遇到我的时候 我就假装当人质 and when she comes across me, I'll pretend to be a hostage.
因为她没看过《虎胆龙威》 And because she hasn't seen Die Hard
所以她不会拿没子弹的枪给我 她会拿‥ instead of handing me an unloaded gun she'll hand me a...
《虎胆龙威》 Die hard... die hard!
你搞什么 What the hell was that?
《虎胆龙威》 Die hard... die hard!
你不能一直 对着对讲机喊《虎胆龙威》 You can't just keep yelling "Die Hard" into a walkie-talkie and...
她把对讲机丢掉了 She threw her walkie-talkie away!
她很讨厌《虎胆龙威》 She hates Die Hard
那她就是真正的麦克莱恩 which makes her the ultimate McClane.
把关于《虎胆龙威》的事全忘了 Forget everything you know about Die Hard...
快去杀死那个臭女人 and just go shoot that bitch!
谢谢你答应跟我见面 罗伊先生 Thank you for meeting with me, Mr. Roy.
全国有一半的人都很听你的话 Half the country hangs on your every word.
全世界大部分的人都是 Heck, most of the world.
你就像是某种教宗 You're like kind of a pope, I reckon.
我不是教宗 因为这不是宗教 I'm not a pope because it's not a religion.
我们在一个游戏里面 We're literally in a video game.
我听过你的教义了 罗伊 你不用对我传教 I've heard the message, Roy, you're not on the clock here.
所以你想让每个人都上太空船 So, you want every single person on a spaceship
但有很多人坚持不去 but you got a bunch of holdouts.
或许他们比较喜欢 自己票选出来的领导人 Maybe people that prefer their leaders a little more elected.
对 你的选民 喜欢听命于他人 Right, your voters. People that like being told what to do
却不想承认这点的人 but don't like admitting it.
我应该不会这么说 Yeah, not sure I'd put it that way.
你应该会用很蠢的方式说 I'm sure you'd put it a stupid way.
我就说这只是浪费时间 I told you this was a waste of time.
我已经说服９２％的你离开了 I've got 92% of you ready to vamoose.
我们没办法靠跟寄生虫谈条件 拉拢剩下的人 We're not gonna get to the rest by making deals with parasites.
总统先生 罗伊是瑞克 他不是我们 Mr. President. Roy is Rick. He's not us.
我们是莫迪 You and I, we're Morty.
这真的有这么难相信吗 Is that really so hard to believe?
小朋友 我都知道 而且我比你更早就相信了 Kid, I've known it and I've believed it longer than you have.
我们是同时变成游戏角色的 We both became video game characters at the same moment
但我在你放下滑板 去参加第一场邪教聚会之前 but I knew the truth before you dropped your skateboard
就已经知道真相了 and went to your first cult meeting.
不然你以为我在这个游戏里 是怎么变成总统的 小妞 How do you think a guy becomes a president in this game, honey?
我的观察力很强 懂吗 很抱歉叫你小妞 By not paying attention? Sorry to call you honey.
我知道我们都是１４岁男孩的一部分 I know we're both parts of a 14-year-old boy
但我这个部分很老派又有点南方背景 but my part's old fashioned and vaguely southern.
我不懂 你如果知道瑞克是真的 那为‥ I'm confused. If you know Rick is real, why...
为什么还要死撑吗 因为他很无礼又为所欲为 Why hold out? Because he's a rude, entitled cock!
他是来救我们的 He's here to save us!
他本来可以离开游戏 放任我们死掉 但他花了50年‥ He could've left the game and let us die! He's spent 50 years...
５０年对他来说才几个小时而已 Fifty years, it's what? A couple hours to him?
他坚持要带孙子离开 He refuses to leave without his grandson
但孙子对他来说算什么 but what's grandson mean to him?
感觉是他的管家 Sounds like it means butler.
是帮助桑美学《虎胆龙威》的人 Someone to help Summer with her Die Hard
我也不懂是什么意思 但我知道他没有给我们什么 Whatever that means. I'll tell you what it doesn't mean.
钓鱼、拥抱 Fly fishing. A hug.
珍惜这个显然还不错的孩子 A little appreciation for what is clearly a pretty decent kid.
至少有８％的他是这个世界上 At least the 8% of him that makes up the decent half
最伟大的国家中比较优秀的一半国民 of the greatest goddamn nation on the planet.
我们对他来说还不是人 我们还不是莫迪 我们被分成‥ We're not a person to him yet. We're not Morty yet, we're divided...
我们会分开 是因为有一部分的我们不信任他 We're divided because some of us don't trust the guy.
我们如果又合而为一 那部分的人会怎样 What happens to that part of us when we're all back together?
不可分割的一个莫迪吗 永不见天日吗 One Morty? Indivisible? Under a cranky old bag of dicks?
他跟五十亿个自己骨肉的碎片 A man you can lock in a box with five billion
一起被关在这里 pieces of his own goddamn flesh and blood
在游戏中都已经５０年了 for 50 goddamn simulated years
我们却没听过他说"我爱你" and never hear him say I love you?
抱歉 小朋友 他太不称职了 Sorry, pumpkin tits. That dog don't hunt.
要不要吸海洛因 反正这是游戏 不如吸吸看 Want some heroin? It's a video game, might as well.
我们快准备就绪了 孩子 Just about ready for launch, kiddo.
我总算能换掉这身衣服了 I can finally get outta these clothes.
口袋太少了 I don't have nearly enough pockets
而且我想找回自己的老二 and it'll be nice to have my own dick back.
你不介意放任8％的我死去吗 You're fine leaving 8% of me to die?
你那8％并不是特别优秀 莫迪 It's not your finest 8%, Morty.
任何东西的8％都是可以牺牲的 And 8% of anything is expendable.
披萨的8％就是披萨边 8% of pizza is crust.
扎克施耐德版《正义联盟》的8％ 是蝙蝠侠在做梦 8% of the Snyder Cut was Batman dreaming.
我听不懂你在讲什么 这是游戏 I don't know what that reference is! We're in a video game!
我们快离开了 宝贝 Not for long, baby.
除非带上所有的我 否则我不走 I'm not leaving without all of me.
什么 糟糕 我算一下 What? Oh, no, let me crunch these numbers.
五十亿的8％再加一个人 8% of five billion plus one person...
天啊 你留下来也没任何差别 再见 My god, if you stay, it changes nothing. Bye.
她如果不去 我们国家的人也不去了 If she's not going I don't think my country wants to go.
谁问你的意见了 荧幕脸 Who invited you to chime in, monitor face?
如果我的意见不重要 干吗让我出现在荧幕上 Why give me a monitor if my opinion doesn't matter?
你的意见应该要跟其他人一样重要 Your opinion isn't allowed to matter for the rest of us.
我们都是一个莫迪 我们能牺牲多少部分的自己 We're all a Morty. How many chunks of us are we supposed to give up?
我不知道你怎么想 Look, I don't know about you
但我做这个决定可是冒了很大的风险 but I was already taking a big leap of faith here.
我们等于是要放弃自己的人生 成为一个陌生人的一小部分 We're basically giving up our lives to become a tiny part of a stranger.
－这些人生不是真的 －但是会更长久 - These lives aren't real! - Yeah, but they're longer!
这是自杀高峰会吗 What is this, suicide by summit meeting?
大家别说了 Everyone, stop!
瑞克 我会让所有部分的我 搭上太空船 Rick, I'll get every single part of me to get on every
－跟你一起走 －很好 -ship and go with you. - Good.
但你得跟我说你爱我们 But you have to tell us you love us.
他就算现在说了 停顿那么久是怎样 I mean, at this point, even if he said it... w-w-what's with the pause?
去死吧 等着瞧 Screw you, wait for it!
－圣战 －更圣战 - Holy war! - Holier war!
超圣战 Holiest war ever!
忠诚撤离派孙子教徒 今天又打下了七个城市 Loyalist Evacucratic Grandsonistas claimed the seven new cities
而赖着不走对立派 today while the Stayputlican Contrasurgent
效忠游戏实境联盟 Confederation of Dedication to Video Game Reality
则入侵了莫迪邦 新南圣莫迪和威莫迪欧 invaded the territories of Mortopia, New South Saint Morty and Wemortyall.
到头来又有什么意义 大家都是莫迪 In the end, what does it matter? Everyone's Morty.
没人想死 这是很烂的自杀理由 Nobody wants to die and that's a hell of a reason to kill yourself
但我们还能怎样呢 but what can we do?
天啊 Aw, geez.
你明知道你是我孙子 这一切都是假的 You know you're my grandson and none of this is real!
你到底想怎样 你只会伤害到自己 What are you trying to achieve? You're only hurting yourself!
我们唯一的意义 就是我们是莫迪的一部分 The only reason any of us matter is we're pieces of Morty!
这是你告诉我们的 瑞克 You taught us that, Rick.
但你又告诉我们你不在乎莫迪 But you also taught us you don't care about Morty.
我就是这么在乎 Here's how much I care.
你如果继续破坏我的飞碟 If you don't stop blowing up my flying saucers
我就会消灭你们所有人 I will exterminate every last one of you!
不择手段 Anything it takes!
我得说什么 我爱你又尊重你 好吗 What do I have to say? I love and respect you, okay?
你现在才说太迟了 瑞克 Too late for talk, Rick.
－你果然是机器人 －我可不能冒死掉的风险 - A robot. Of course. - I'm not gonna risk dying
我如果在游戏里死了 你就会脑死 不客气 because if I die in the game, you go brain dead. You're welcome!
死在《罗伊》里总比下地狱好 Better to die in Roy than to serve in hell!
那桑美呢 你不在乎桑美吗 And what about Summer? Do you not care about her?
我们得回去 莫迪 我们得去帮她 We gotta get back, Morty, we gotta help her.
无论她在哪里 You know what? Wherever she is
我相信她没有你的帮助也没问题 I'm sure she's doing fine without your help.
你这样是在触她霉头 Oof. Jinx, anyone...
我们应该继续把这里炸掉吗 Should we finish the job, blow the place?
不 不可以就这样结束 No, this can't end, not like this.
我刚刚真的有触她霉头吗 Do you think I jinxed her?
你为什么不射高一点 Why aren't you shooting higher?
我不想射到玻璃 因为‥ I don't wanna shoot the glass because...
你不用刻意避开 《虎胆龙威》里发生过的事 You don't have to not do things that were done in Die Hard.
你可以射玻璃 射玻璃 You can shoot the glass. Shoot the glass!
丢手榴弹 怎样都好 杀死她就对了 Throw grenades! Do everything! Just kill her!
你为什么会在这里 《虎胆龙威》小姐 Why are you here, Miss Die Hard?
你为什么不直接离开呢 I want to know why you don't just leave?
－《虎胆龙威》 －天啊 - Die Hard! - Aw, jeez...
等等 Wait...
然后呢 And then, what?
然后我们就可以 帮助你姐学《虎胆龙威》 And then, we help your sister do her Die Hard.
过头了 太过头了 Too much. It's too much.
抱歉 Oh, sorry.
这里有位特别嘉宾 《虎胆龙威》小姐 I've got a special guest with me, Miss Die Hard.
还是我该称呼你为 "这个人的姐姐" Or should I call you this guy's "sister"?
－妈 －亲爱的 - Mom. - Hello, dear...
－我要投靠敌方 －什么 为什么 - I'm joining the other side. - What. Why?
我想跟罗伊在真实世界生活 I wanna live in the real world with Roy.
我想帮助桑美学《虎胆龙威》 I wanna help Summer with her Die Hard.
他叫瑞克 His name is Rick
我们也没办法确定 and we have no way of knowing
你这一代是不是莫迪的一部分 if your generation is actually part of Morty.
你知道这有多冒犯人吗 Do you know how offensive that is?
就是这样的管教 才会让我信仰激进宗教 It's parenting like this that pushed me into religious radicalism.
－再见 －这不‥ - Bye. - It's not...
这不是宗教 好吧 Not a religion. But, okay.
长官 这里很危险 Ma'am. It's really not safe out here.
而且是时候了 Also, it's time.
赖瑞
我们要上太空船了吗 Are we going on the spaceship now?
就快了 爸 对 Pretty soon, Dad. Yeah.
你在说谎吗 Are you lying?
你说话的口气 You kind of said it with that tone in your voice
好像是对将死之人说话的口气 that we use for dying people.
我不想骗你 你快死了 爸 I won't lie to you. You're dying, Dad
而且我们不离开这个游戏了 and...we're not leaving the video game.
我们会在这里生活 We're gonna live our lives out here.
什么 到底为什么 为什么 What? Why the fuck? Why?
－这里比较真实 －才怪 - It's more real here. - The hell it is!
我的肝好痛 我在这里很老 My liver hurts! I'm old here!
我想变成青少年 I want to be a teenage boy!
我想跳来跳去、做作业、到处自慰 I want to jump around and do homework and jerk off all over the place.
可是爸 我们只会是他的一小部分 But, Dad. That's...We would've been one tiny part of that.
我们在这里可以真正做自己 In here, we get to be who we really are.
对 很好 我会死掉 Yeah, great. Dead.
我会是死掉的爸爸 我要‥ I get to be a dead father. Who do I make the...
我要‥ Who do I...
－我‥ －别说了 爸 - Who... - Don't talk, Dad.
－我得把狠话说完 －不用 - Gotta finish my zinger... - You don't...
我‥我‥ Who do...
我要‥ Who do I...
开支票给谁 make the check out to...
"史上最棒的女儿"‥ "Best Daughter Ever...
公司吗 Incorporated?"
我还以为你早就离开了 Thought you woulda left by now.
我想至少能带一半的你走 I was hoping to get at least half of you home.
我没办法再撑太久了 I can't hold out much longer.
我现在心脏要特别用力才能跳 I'm pretty much beating my heart voluntarily at this point.
说来有点尴尬 Okay, this is a little awkward
但时间膨胀让我仔细反思了一下 but the time dilation has given me a chance to reflect.
我想说‥ And...I gotta say...
不用了 There's no need for that.
我是要来跟你说 我决定妥协了 I've come to tell you, I'm giving the go-ahead.
所有莫迪都会跟你一起走 All of Morty will leave with you
到真实世界 to the real world
成为你的孙子 to be your grandson.
或许还能帮助桑美学《虎胆龙威》 May we help Summer do her Die Hard.
不得不说 我没料到会这样 I gotta say, I was not expecting that.
你怎么会改变心意 Why the change of heart?
我的信徒只是因为对我忠诚才留下来 My people are staying only out of loyalty to me.
我很老了 我没办法代表他们了 I'm a relic. I don't represent them anymore.
你真的是很棒的孙子 知道吗 You really are a good grandson, you know that?
－我以你为荣 莫迪 －请叫我玛塔 - I'm proud of you, Morty. - Please, call me Marta.
这是我的角色名 That's my video game name.
说到这个 我有一个条件 Speaking of which, I do have one condition.
我真佩服你 《虎胆龙威》小姐 I must say I admire you, Miss Die Hard.
你是真正的麦克莱恩 You were a genuine McClane.
你是非常不简单的人物 A most worthy yankee doodle ruffian
但一切都要结束了 but now, it's all come to an end.
你彻底完蛋了 And the quarterback, as they say, is toast.
你应该没有把枪黏在背后吧 I don't suppose you have a gun taped to your back?
－那又是什么意思 －那是《虎胆龙威》的结局 - What the hell does that mean? - It's how Die Hard ends.
－已经不重要了 －《虎胆龙威》把枪黏在背后 - Doesn't matter now. - Die Hard tapes a gun to his back?
你心目中那个完美到 That's the end of your perfect movie
值得在犯罪时拿来模仿的电影 结局竟然是这样 that you've patterned your whole criminal life after?
但这对我来说算是好事 Well, it seems to have worked out pretty well for me
因为快死的人是你 since you're the one about to die.
你之前是怎么说的 没错 What was it you said? Ah, yes.
"对讲机《虎胆龙威》 混蛋" "Walkie-talkie Die Hard, motherfucker."
－你笑什么 －真好笑 - Why are you laughing? - Well, it's funny.
你讲"混蛋"的方式 The way you said "motherfucker."
－好好笑 －好 但是‥ - Just laughing. - Okay. It's just that....
《虎胆龙威》里面是不是也这样演 约翰麦克莱恩笑了 Oh, does that happen in Die Hard? Does John McClane
汉斯格鲁伯很困惑 laugh and then Hans Gruber is confused
但他们后来就一起笑了一下 but then they start laughing together for a second...
确实有这样演 没错 That actually does happen, yes!
等等 你一直都知道他们的名字 Wait. You knew their names this whole time?
不是 你把书放在厕所 Not this whole time, no. You left your book in the bathroom.
所以我大便时看过了 I read it while I took a shit.
我只有看结尾的部分 I mean, mostly the ending.
中‥
大‥
奖 混蛋 ...dippee doo, baby!
时机抓得真好 瑞克外公 Nice timing, Grandpa Rick.
极乐世界的仙姬 Tochter aus Elysium...
嗨 记得我吗 Hi, remember me?
你刚刚在桌上对我开枪 You shot me on that table
濒死经验让我开始反思 and the near death experience got me reflecting.
我之前不是这样的 我‥ I didn't used to be like this. I...
吃了一个小孩 当时很暗 我以为他是大人 I ate a kid. It was dark and I thought he was a grown-up.
在那之后 我就没吃过任何人了 Ever since then, I haven't eaten anybody at all.
我好像把想吃人的欲望 靠这个工作发泄掉了 I think I was channeling all that pent-up eating energy into this job.
但现在‥ But now...
谢谢你解放了我 thank you for freeing me.
标准的《塔人》情节 有点太直接了 对吧 莫迪 Classic Tower Man. Almost too on the nose. Right, Morty?
对 你说得都对 瑞克 你最聪明 Sure. I mean, whatever you say, Rick. You know best!
我无条件信任你 I trust you implicitly.
－他还好吗 －对 他没事 - Is he all right? - Oh, yeah, he's fine.
我把他的每一个部分都带出来了 Got him all out, every last piece.
坏掉的《罗伊》机台是怎么了 What's with the jacked-up Roy Machine?
你不是应该送去修吗 Shouldn't you be taking that to repairs?
不 有特殊指令 Nah, special order.
某个有钱混蛋 想让他的最后一款游戏继续运行 Some rich douche wants his last game to keep running.
还装上了外接电池 我们只要找地方放着就好 Hooked it up to an external battery, we're just supposed to store it.
－真奇怪 －对 听好了 - Weird. - Yeah, and get this.
游戏还在进行 但罗伊死了 The game's still going but Roy's dead.
－什么 －对 他只是一具尸体 - What? - Yeah, he's just a corpse
飘浮在外太空的边界 floating at the edge of outer space.
但游戏不知为何没有重启 But for some reason, the game won't restart
因为主角变成了 一个过着充实人生的老太太 'cause it's centered on some old lady living a full life.
听起来很糟 Sounds bad.
放进里面吧 Well, put it in there.
《罗伊：美好人生》
之后想取走这个机台的人会有办法‥ Hey, is anybody that wants this later gonna be able to...
什么 可以 所有东西都有编目和追踪 Huh? Oh, yeah, everything's cataloged and tracked.
很多人看到这里空间很大就误会了 People got the wrong idea from the size of the space
但是我们有数字归档 but it's all supported digitally.
所以我可以随便放吗 放这里行吗 So, I can put it anywhere. Here's fine?
放哪里都可以 That's as fine as anywhere else!
我恨所有人
为什么没人攻击他 Why isn't anyone attacking him?
－因为这里很冷 －不对 我觉得是标语的问题 - It's fucking freezing out. - No, I think it's the sign.
《虎胆龙威３》的标语 显然有种族歧视 Well, the sign from Die Hard 3 was clearly racist.
当然 但我们好像写得太笼统了 Obviously, but I think we went too broad.
"所有人" 这样会冒犯到谁 "Everybody?" I mean, who is that offending?
冒犯到所有人 Everybody?
我这么做到底有什么意义 At this point, why even do it?
真希望我哥还活着 I wish my brother were still alive.
纪念麦克孟德尔