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mr jasper and i stood at opposite ends


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of the hallway in the best tradition of


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the western movies hate and confidence


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could be seen in our eyes a piece of


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paper rolled across the floor like a


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tumbleweed terrified students were


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looking out of their classrooms because


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they knew there was going to be a life


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or death battle mr jasper had dared to


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challenge me the terror of the school hi


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my name is tessa and i'm proud to say


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that i've managed to get 10 principles


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out of my own school but the 11th mr


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jasper has become a real problem for me


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i never enjoyed studying it seemed to me


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that getting up early in the morning


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going to all the classes and doing


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homework were activities for fools and


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sneaky and brave people like me don't


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need school at all i only went to that


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boring place because my parents pestered


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me about it every day


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tessa you have to study tessa you won't


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get anywhere tessa you won't get a job


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my mother used to tell me wow what a


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problem not getting a job that's awesome


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actually i wasn't planning on working


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because i was pretty sure that one day i


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would meet my prince charming we'd start


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the coolest rock band in the world and i


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wouldn't need any education i didn't


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want to be like my parents hard workers


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who came home late at night just to eat


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and sleep they didn't even have time for


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their own daughter who needs such a life


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i had no friends at school and i didn't


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suffer much because i was surrounded by


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idiots and they were as shy as mice and


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scattered into corners if i shouted at


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them by the way this was true not only


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for my peers but also for adults 10.


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that was exactly how many principals


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wrote their resignations after a


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showdown with me it always started the


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same way the new principal would come to


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the school found out about my existence


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smugly grinned into his mustache if he


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had one and told the vice principal


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she's going to be a straight a student


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in a week the rest was a question of my


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sick imagination sometimes it took me


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too far if only you knew what serious


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looking men do in their spare time one


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principal secretly kept a page on


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instagram where he read love poems of


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his own composition his tearful opus was


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heard by the whole school because i


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played it at the end of school year


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party the other loved cosplay and


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secretly went to comic-con as wolverine


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from x-men secretly well that's what he


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thought but the truth always comes out


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so did his outfit photos of the


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principal in the costume adorned the


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school lobby the next morning i


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destroyed the third principal's


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collection of kitten figurines i sprayed


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paint on an expensive custom-made desk


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of the fourth principle i slipped a note


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to the fifth on behalf of our chemistry


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teacher and his grandiose love


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confession turned out to be rejected and


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he was humiliated let me remember what i


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did to the sixth and seventh principles


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the sixth tried to find common ground


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with me by tearfully telling me about


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his difficult childhood spent in the


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ghetto i told the school psychologist


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about this strange conversation and soon


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the new principal was asked to vacate


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the office the seventh like the eighth


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by the way could not stand my prank with


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disrupted classes throughout the school


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and the ninth didn't like the fact that


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i called the police and told them that


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his car looked suspiciously like the one


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that had been stolen from my neighbor i


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was supposed to have a harder time with


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the 10th because we got assigned a


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former navy seal but then i decided to


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speak to the principal in his language i


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called him a wimp and suggested an


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obstacle course in the school's backyard


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he was stupid and arrogant and he didn't


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know that no one but me could overcome


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those obstacles i knew all the tricks


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ledges and manholes as a result i came


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to the finish line first and the brave


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soldier almost cried as he gathered his


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things because the whole school was


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laughing at him and his pathetic


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performance and then they sent us the


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11th principle have you seen him yet a


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guy from a group of underachievers asked


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me your brain


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it doesn't exist i glared at him angrily


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accompanied by the cackling of the other


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losers strangely enough the guy smiled


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in response to my quip the new principal


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he's already here


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a new victim delivered straight to the


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house i was eager to do something nasty


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to this daredevil this time i was sure


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to use my imagination so that the city


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government wouldn't think of sending


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anyone else to us miss belford to the


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principal's office the secretary


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squeaked from the speakers in the


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ceiling


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game on i winked at my fellow students


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and went to get acquainted to be honest


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i didn't know how to react at first


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because behind the principal's desk was


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a puny old man with a bushy white beard


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a sort of a poor man's dumbledore his


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lively black eyes squinted intently and


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grandpa pointed to the chair across from


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him have a seat miss belford is this a


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joke are you the new principal i flapped


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down in my chair looking at my new


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victim with interest that's right my


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name is mr jasper i've heard a lot about


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you oh my fame has reached hogwarts i


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threw my legs up on one of the armrests


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without a second thought mr jasper


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meanwhile stood up and came toward me


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i've heard about your antics tessa and i


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want to tell you right away you can


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forget about them from this day forward


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the old man's voice was so quiet and


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calm that his words seemed even funnier


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i have heard it 10 times before mr


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dumbledore and it all ended the same way


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with a resignation letter you'll write


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it i think i rolled my eyes


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tomorrow the principal just smiled


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softly at me and then shrugged his


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shoulders we'll see now get to class i


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obeyed for the first time and only


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because i was not interested in hanging


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out with this old man he might start


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talking about his youth i did not delay


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and on his first day at our school


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decided to sabotage the classes the


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easiest thing i could do was to climb


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into the attic set a book on fire and


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hold it up to the smoke detector three


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two


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one the howl of the fire safety system


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was so deafening that i almost threw the


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burning book on the floor within minutes


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the whole school was evacuated to the


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soccer field i watched from the attic as


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mr jasper stepped onto the field looked


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around at the crowd of children and then


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suddenly turned exactly in my direction


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miss belford is staying after class to


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clean the assembly hall i looked outside


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and this is how you thank me for saving


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your worthless lives you should be


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thanking me for the unscheduled


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rehearsal what if it was a real fire


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you'd be crawling like turtles thank you


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miss belford i'll see you in the


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assembly hall if you don't come i'll


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have the entire school in detention the


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crowd howled in displeasure


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i didn't care if they made me clean up


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the school but i sure as hell couldn't


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handle a few hundred angry students on


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my own good job the old man winked at me


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as i staggered out of the assembly hall


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it's not over i hissed back indeed our


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rivalry had only just begun it was time


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to fight back at three in the morning i


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climbed out of my bedroom window and


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headed for school oh no i wasn't hungry


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for knowledge i had a better plan after


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entering the principal's office through


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the window i looked around the old man


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must have weak points and it didn't take


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me long to find them there was a picture


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on principal jasper's desk mr jasper a


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young woman and a girl my age a daughter


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and a granddaughter


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checkmate i took a snapshot of the photo


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crapped it and very quickly found both


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of their pages on the internet it was


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time to get out of here i spent the rest


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of the night looking through the


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profiles i found and was about to decide


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that all my efforts were in vain when


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suddenly i saw this


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my face turned into a grinch mask it's a


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disaster mr jasper if you only knew what


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a couple of hundred dollar bills stolen


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from a parent's wallet could do in my


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case it opened up access to the school


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server and just imagine at precisely 9am


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a photo of our dear school was replaced


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by an even more beautiful photo on the


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school website it showed principal


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jasper dressed in a fairy costume


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dancing at a family halloween party


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what a rascal laughed one student whose


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name i couldn't remember although my


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uncle nigel does a lot more than that


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after two or three beers i don't care i


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shouted that was my triumph now the old


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man would be out of a job but mr jasper


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appeared in the hallway of the school as


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if nothing had happened and as if he


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hadn't noticed the laughter that seemed


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to come from every corner the principal


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kept his cool until he saw me at the end


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of the hall our eyes met in the best


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tradition of a classic western he knew


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who was behind this little hacker attack


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the old man suddenly turned around and


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headed for the stairs strangely i


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thought he was going to lecture me in


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front of everyone but apparently the


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principal decided that revenge was a


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dish worth serving cold in mr jasper's


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case it was as icy as a polar cap i was


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doing the best i could i took out the


237
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electrical panel i led a few dozen mice


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into the principal's office decorated


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his door with offensive writing but mr


240
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jasper remained calm the 10th principal


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the one from the navy seals could learn


242
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a lot from this zen buddhist that's when


243
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i went extreme i got a few boxes of


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firecrackers from the back of the school


245
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left over from the 4th of july


246
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celebration it wasn't easy to sneak


247
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those heavy boxes in and put them under


248
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the window of dumbledore's office i had


249
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to break into school in the middle of


250
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the night again the no-name student was


251
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very surprised when i caught him at


252
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recess and shoved fireplace matches and


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50 bucks in his hand here's the deal


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tessa you won't get him the kid shrugged


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can't you see this old man's unbreakable


256
00:11:01,360 --> 00:11:04,160
we'll see about that here's 50 for you


257
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in exactly 15 minutes light up the


258
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fireworks under the principal's office


259
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window and you won't set me up have you


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have we seen each other today i winked


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and he went into the courtyard all i had


262
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to do was cause another mess so that mr


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jasper would call me to his office i


264
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wanted to see him turn gray with my own


265
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eyes oh well he was already gray never


266
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mind i spotted a huge aquarium in the


267
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school lobby grabbed a chair and threw


268
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it right at it the thick glass cracked


269
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and the aquarium exploded a moment later


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tessa fell far to the principal's office


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the secretary yelled from the


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loudspeakers


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great the director greeted me with his


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usual calm he opened his mouth to start


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lecturing me but a deafening roar and


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whistle forced him to postpone his


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speech my buddy had worked his fifty


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dollars fair and square bright lights


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and sparks flew in all directions


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very cool how do you like the surprise


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mr jasper i laughed hysterically and


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then i noticed that the principal looked


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strange the color of his face blended


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with his gray beard the old man was


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holding his heart and trying to say


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something uh mr dumbledore what are you


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doing we did not agree on this oh no the


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old man didn't seem to like the


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fireworks very much for the first time


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in my life a man was fainting in front


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of me and i got confused i ran out into


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the hallway and started screaming for


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help fortunately the school nurse came


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quickly and our principal's life was no


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longer in danger my prank provoked a


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heart attack in the elderly man a real


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one


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when mr jasper got better though he


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whispered to me one point for me


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naive i decided not to bother the


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principal just yet he's too weak we can


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sort it out later have you ever had any


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conflicts at school share your stories


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in the comments