♪ Times have changed ♪
♪ And we've often rewound the clock ♪
♪ Since the puritans got a shock ♪
♪ When they landed on plymouth rock ♪
As you see, there's nothing in my hat.
I'm gonna pour this jug of milk inside my hat.
♪ Kids, I don't know what's wrong with these kids today ♪
♪ Kids, who can understand ♪
♪ Anything they say ♪ ♪
Life, humanity, everything...
Is just scum floating round and round...
On top of the water until it finally sinks.
♪ Kum-bah-yah, my lord ♪
♪ Kum-bah-yah ♪ ♪
Aah!
Oh, ma, I did it wrong.
Aaah!
Was that good?
And now I'm gonna put this hat on my head.
♪ She woke up and found that her dream of love was gone ♪
♪ Madam ♪
♪ She ran to the man who had ♪
♪ Led her so far astray ♪
♪ And from under her velvet gown ♪
♪ She drew a gun and shot bang, bang, her lover down ♪ ♪
♪ And though I'm not a great romancer ♪
♪ I know that I'm bound to answer when you propose ♪
♪ Anything goes ♪ ♪
And I know that if I were down,
I should want to go deeper and deeper...
Into the fetid, festering earth.
Thank you, uh, george. That was very good.
What's the difference?
In a hundred years we'll both be dead.
I'm not sure I can wait that long.
Let's go, mother. One second.
How did george do, Mr. Chapman?
Do you think you might... Whoa! Not yet, honey, not yet.
Do you think you might want to represent him?
Well, we really don't get much call for children.
Doing strindberg these days.
Maybe george could work up something a little lighter.
For us next time.
When's little mikey get here? Good question.
Excuse me. When's he gonna get here?
Geena. Geena. Geena!
Hi, mr. Chapman.
What is this? It's a walkman.
I know it's a walkman.
Do you know why they call it a walkman?
Because you're supposed to wear it when you walk.
Not when you're sitting at a desk, working.
How can you hear if somebody calls?
Did somebody call? Was it for me?
Yeah, harvard medical. Your brain is ready.
Just get my brother on the phone, please.
Whoa! Chapman steals the puck, he splits the "d."
He makes his move. It's a strong move!
He is the king of west 83rd.
How can he be so good?
How about you're old enough to be my father! Ohh!
He ignores the feeble taunts of the pathetic defenders.
Yes! And he... Shoots!
Uh-oh.
C'mere!
You heard him. Get over there! Huh-huh!
Fight! Fight!
Calm down, you just calm down a second.
It's not easy bein' father to all these kids.
You see that car?
That's my boss's car, and he ain't gonna be too happy.
If he sees it.
And if he ain't happy, I ain't happy.
All right, listen. I appreciate your situation.
I feel compelled to tell you, however, that I am.
Something of a celebrity.
What kind of celebrity are you? Asshole of the month?
No, that's all political.
Um, actually, did you ever see a television show called.
Life with mikey?
You know, he's wacky, he's wild, he's everyone's favorite child.
♪ It's life with mikey ♪ ♪
Yeah, I've seen it. So what?
Well, that's me.
I'm little mikey. Moose shit!
Tell 'im, guys. Tell 'im.
Fight! Fight! Fight!
Any chance of getting time off for good behavior?
Hey! It is you!
Little mikey!
Oh! Hey, do me a favor, autograph somethin'
For me, will ya?
Oh, yeah, sure. So, you still an actor?
No, I got outta that when I was about 15.
I just started to hate the superficiality.
Of the whole scene.
I'm an agent now.
Morning, bambi.
Hey, it's noon, Honey.
Oh, surprise, surprise.
Good morning, geena.
You want a kiss? Okay.
So, is he mad?
He said he was gonna kill Ya if ya weren't here.
In 15 minutes.
How long ago Was that?
Rest in peace, mr. Chapman.
I'm sorry, mr. Chapman, It's nothing personal,
But business is business. Mrs. Tobin.
Hey, sisters grimm, Dynamic duet.
Flotsam and jetsam. Gimme five. Gimme 20.
Michael, mrs. Tobin is taking The girls over to tiny talent.
Go on, girls. Good-bye, mr. Chapman.
That's fine, mrs. Tobin, If you're not interested.
In the doublemint commercial.
What?
Ed, you didn't tell them about The doublemint commercial?
What were you thinkin' about?
I honestly Have no idea.
Do you girls Like doublemint?
Can you say, Double-icious?
Yeah, that doublemint Commercial, that's only.
A phone call away.
That's what you said Three months ago, mr. Chapman.
It won't work this time. Come on, girls.
Keep your coat on, michael.
We have to go see barry corman.
Mom, what kind of cereal Is this?
Oh, it's new from Country kitchens.
- It's not good for you, is it? - Of course not, dear.
Isn't it dewicious... Delicious? Cut!
I'm sorry, barry.
How much of this crap do I have to eat today?
What am I, job? Mom!
Not you, my real mom. The one who doesn't.
Need acting lessons.
I'm here, barry. Honey, I'm right here.
I can't work with these people. I know.
Or these animals.
Probably just having some Artistic differences.
With the director.
Hey, ed, ed, ed, why don't You relax, all right?
He's a 12-year-old kid.
I know that. You think I Like jumping every time.
A 12-year-old calls?
But I have to because this Kid is gonna put braces.
On my daughter's teeth.
Kristin's gonna be fine. Besides, overbites.
Can be very attractive.
Put that down.
Would you look at this?
Listen to me.
This is important.
Just behave yourself, okay? Mrs. Corman! How are you?
Oh, mrs. C. You look ravishing. Really do. Absolutely. Do I?
Oh, I am using This new moisturizer.
You look very moist. Very.
Hey, mom, this is a business Meeting, not a block party.
Do me a favor. Go down to The corner and get me.
A couple of big macs.
And, uh, get yourself A little something.
Would you boys like anything? They're fine.
Yeah, we'll just get by...
On whatever falls out Of barry's mouth.
I'll see you all later.
Hey, mom, get a life.
All right, I'm ready For your apology.
Wa... Wait a minute.
Wh... What is he talkin' about?
Michael, um, barry Feels that you're.
Not quite supportive enough.
That you're occasionally Rude and dismissive...
And you don't take His career seriously.
You've brought me down here To apologize to him?
What, are you out of your Mind? For what?
For discovering him with His entire head stuffed.
In a box of cocoa puffs?
I made this kid The cereal king.
Yeah, well, I'm sick of doing Cereal commercials.
I wanna do new stuff. I wanna grow artistically.
I wanna work with Michelle pfeiffer.
How come I wasn't put Up for her last movie?
Totally our fault, barry.
Barry, they need you in makeup. We had no idea...
You were interested In the part.
You know, you're shameless.
Why don't you just get on Your knees and sacrifice.
A goat to this kid?
Let's hope it doesn't Come to that.
Barry, if you had only Mentioned this sooner.
All right, you two clowns, We'll talk later.
I gotta get into character.
What character? All you gotta do is swallow.
All right.
You're gonna be laughing Yourself right out of a client,
Mr. Funny man,
Because brian spiro From united talent...
Has been takin' me out To a lotta lunches recently.
Great! He'll be outta business Soon, the way you eat.
He's kidding, barry!
Michael likes to kid around.
Tell him you were Kidding, michael.
All right, I...
I was kidding, barry.
I was kidding.
Come on. You know I love you.
Very much.
Mmm!
When I put barry In that headlock,
I got vitalis All over my shirt.
Listen, michael, I've got To talk to you about something.
Yes, ed?
I'm thinking of, Eh, getting out.
Giving up the business.
You're not serious. Yes, I am serious.
One day, I'm gonna have to Send the girls to college,
Marilyn wants to go to europe.
We've got the mortgage On the house, I'm up.
To my ears in credit...
Ed, you're not gonna leave Me. Ya can't leave me.
This is the only thing I know how to do.
You gotta make a Decision, michael.
You wanna do this Job or you don't.
Because, I gotta tell ya, Uncle larry asked me.
To come work with him.
Uncle larry? Uncle larry?
Ed, uncle larry sells Bathroom accessories.
Is that what you wanna Do with your life?
No, michael, I don't wanna Work with uncle larry,
But I can't run this Agency by myself.
Either you start Becoming a real partner...
Or it's over.
You're right. You're right. You're right, I'm sorry.
I'm... I know I've been Negligent.
I do come in late, And I...
I missed a couple of days Here and there.
You missed october.
So I'll see ya bright And early monday morning.
Good. Bright and early.
I will be there When we open.
What time do we open?
Somebody took the fish.
Out of the fishbowl...
And put it in a bowl With no water.
Mikey!
Mikey.
Dad, so nice To hear from you.
Get down here.
How could you do that.
To little goldie?
Listen, if it makes You feel any better,
I'm sure little goldie's In fish heaven.
Fish heaven right now.
Or in a fish stick. Or in a fish stick.
Hey, don't make jokes About cynthia's fish.
Now, you have to learn When to be a comedian.
And when to be serious.
No tv or ice cream For the next week.
Any chance of getting time off For good behavior?
♪ he's wacky, he's wild ♪
♪ He's everyone's Favorite child ♪
♪ It's life with mikey ♪
♪ Life with mikey ♪
♪ He's coming, look out ♪
♪ There's trouble in store ♪ ♪
Line up for Little mikey's autograph.
Eat a lotta turkey today, We got little mikey here.
Yo, little mikey!
Your show sucks, man!
Hey, you wanna come over here And say that?
He's not comin' Over here, is he?
I now declare this turkey Shack... Stuffed.
Oh! Oh, excuse me.
That's all right.
Here you go. Thanks, mister.
Happy thanksgiving.
Thanks. Same to you, kid.
Gimme a couple Of those bad boys and these.
Seven bucks.
Think I left mywallet... Hey!
Hey! Hey!
Stop! Wait!
Whoa!
Stop right there!
Hey!
Ah, you're fast.
That's great.
You know, there's a lot of money In women's track and field.
More than there is In my wallet.
So why don't you just Give it back to me?
We'll forget the Whole thing, huh?
I don't have your wallet.
You come near me, and I'll scream for a cop!
What a coincidence. That's what I was gonna do.
Look, I'm gonna walk Towards you very slow.
Just give me the wallet.
That's a magnifying glass.
What are you gonna do?
Wait 'til sunrise and Burn me to death?
Okay, now that's scary.
Just stay where you are, And nobody gets hurt.
So, what grade are ya in?
Sixth!
Aaah! Yee-oww!
Get your hands off me! I didn't take anything!
I saw you!
Hold still!
What's goin' on here?
If you didn't steal anything, What is this?
Somebody get a cop!
Are you all right?
It's just... It'll be christmas Soon. And now that mom's gone,
It's just me and dad And little jimmy.
How sad. And...
Don't cry, honey.
You see, little jimmy wants A batman doll for christmas.
Because he loves batman.
Except he didn't like the second Movie as much as the first,
But he still wants one.
But my dad can't afford To buy any presents...
Because he's been out of work Ever since the accident.
What accident?
A bus hit him on Madison avenue.
Oh.
He's was riding his bicycle Because he's been a messenger.
Ever since the strike.
What strike?
The air traffic Controller's strike.
He's been so depressed.
Sometimes he just sits home, Staring out the window.
Landing imaginary planes.
So I wanted to try and Buy jimmy his batman,
But I didn't have any money Because I'm a child.
So I tried to steal it, Which is wrong.
And bad and terrible.
But enough about me.
Carol, this isn't my wallet. That's mine.
That's my wallet.
He's right, his picture's On the driver's license.
So she tried to steal Your wallet too, right?
Steal it? This is my daughter.
Your daughter? Give me a break.
How could she be your Daughter? Yeah!
What do you mean, How could she be my daughter?
You ever heard of adoption?
Well, I got news for you, Mister. Your daughter just.
Tried to pickpocket my husband.
You take that back. My little Girl would never take anything.
That doesn't belong to her. Isn't that right, honey?
I'm sorry. I'm bad. I know It. Daddy, I need help.
I know. We're tryin' to get ya Help. Now, I'm sure if you...
Apologize to this nice man And give him back his wallet,
He won't call the police.
Can't I just apologize?
Give him the wallet, Okay?
It's all right, folks. Show's over.
We're workin' it out.
I don't believe this!
Give him the-all right.
Oh... Ah, this isn't Mine, either.
I'm sorry.
Let me have that back. What color was yours?
Brown alligator.
Oh. Okay, brown alligator...
Uh, is this it? No.
Wait a minute, alli... Oh, brown Alligator.
Hey, bingo, a winner. Okay, let's go, honey.
Coming, daddy.
I can't wait to get Back to connecticut.
You were incredible.
I mean... That was An amazing performance.
You know, people have won Emmy awards for less than that.
I know. I did.
Look, as soon As we turn the corner,
Let go of my hand.
Listen, my name is Michael chapman,
I'm a children's talent agent.
If you can do in front of a Television camera what you just.
Did, we could be very wealthy.
Let me give you My card... Hey!
♪ For a spoonful of sugar ♪
♪ Helps the medicine go Down medicine go down ♪
♪ Medicine go down just A spoonful of sugar ♪
♪ Helps the medicine go down In the most delightful way ♪
Oh, thank you, erica.
I love that song.
Me too.
What were you playin'?
Oscar, wake up.
Uh, where are we?
We're at a audition.
All right!
♪ You'll be swell You'll be great ♪
♪ Gonna have the whole World on a plate ♪
♪ Starting here Starting now ♪
♪ Honey, everything's Coming up roses ♪
♪ You're the best agents! ♪
I can't take it anymore, felix.
I'm cracking up.
I told you a hundred times, I can't stand little notes.
On my pillow.
We're out of corn flakes, F.u.
It took me three hours To figure out.
That f.u. Was felix unger.
Mr. Chapman, there's A girl on the phone.
She says she has your wallet.
Yes! Yes.
Hi. Count it.
It's all right, I trust ya.
Can I take your order?
Yeah, I'll have a cheeseburger, Large fries and a vanilla shake.
Coffee. Coffee?
Yeah, coffee. It comes from beans.
Ever heard of it?
You, uh, you want A cheeseburger?
I got my wallet back. I don't eat burgers.
I'm a vegetarian.
Ah, that's fascinating. How come?
Look, I'm not here to Talk about food.
I wanna know how much you're Talkin' about for this tv thing.
Whoa, wait a minute, Wait a minute.
I got a couple questions for you Before we get into.
The financial end of things.
Yeah, well, I got some Questions for you.
How come you get to go first?
'Cause if you don't answer My questions, I don't know if
I can take you to the audition.
And if you don't answer My questions, I don't know.
If I can go to an audition.
And if you keep blowin' That smoke in my face,
We're through talkin' now.
Sorry. What's your Name, anyway?
Angie vega. And this is The non-smoking section.
You wanna put that out Before I get sick?
Mmph.
How much money We talkin' about?
Well, for four national spots, Depending on how often.
It airs, it could be... I don't know...
Somewhere In the neighborhood.
Of $250,000.
$250,000? You serious?
How old are you? Ten.
Did you say $250,000? Could be.
How come you're not in school? Uh, today's a school day?
Do your parents Know you're here?
No, my parents are dead.
What commercial's Gonna want me?
It's for sunburst cookies.
Who do you live with?
I live with my sister, Janis, and her boyfriend.
What do they think about You not bein' in school?
They don't think much Of anything. She's a scorpio.
And he's an idiot.
What do you get outta this? Standard agency commission.
What's that?
Ten percent on Whatever you make.
What should I pay you 10% for?
Well, you need my expertise And coaching.
You need my guidance On what to wear.
You need me to tell you Where the audition is.
First of all, I don't need you To tell me what to wear.
And I'll give you five percent.
Thanks very much, But it's ten percent.
Six percent. Ten percent.
End of conversation.
Seven percent. Ten percent.
It's the law, all right?
It's in every standard Agency agreement.
This is not negotiable.
Seven and a half. Ten percent, and that's it!
Here you go.
Separate checks.
Dear mr. Okun,
In reference to the residuals For the kramer toys ad...
Mr. Chapman, You're going too fast.
Okay.
Hello, anybody home?
Guys... Ah, nice of You to stop back in.
Don't worry, We close in a few hours.
Who's this?
Ed, geena, I'd like you to meet Angie vega, our newest client.
We're on our way to the sunburst Cookie audition. So, geena, we.
Gotta make up a resumé for her.
And can you do Something with her hair?
Excuse us a moment, miss vega.
Hey, ed... All right,
Where did you find her? I met her in a restaurant.
Ed, this kid is unbelievable.
She's dyin' to act, And my gut instincts tell me.
She's got what it takes.
Why isn't she in school?
I'm off for christmas.
Well, christmas Is three weeks away, honey.
I'm very religious. You got a problem with that?
Uh-uh.
Sunboist cookies.
Light up my day.
Sunboist? Sunboist?
You wanna de-new york Your accent a little bit?
You got a slight yogi Berra thing happenin'.
Look, man, I'm from Brooklyn. You're lucky
I can speak english.
All right,
Let's go up here.
I'm sorry, but if you're not.
On the list, there's Nothing I can do.
I know, but if I Could just see.
The casting director... I can't believe.
You don't even have An appointment!
Could you just sit down and Fill this out, all right?
Everything's Under control. Go.
Hello, I'm courtney aspinall.
Hi. This is my mother, Ellen aspinall,
And my agent, brian spiro, From united talent.
What agency are you with? Uh, chapman and chapman.
They find you at one of.
Those open auditions?
No. Where did they find you?
Eighth and 47th, okay?
Eh, courtney, Sweetheart,
Practice your lines.
I hate it When it's raining.
We don't get to go outside For recess or ride our bikes.
After school.
That's funny, but you're not.
Gonna do it like that, are ya?
What do you mean?
They're just cookies.
Don't make it sound like A commercial for hemorrhoids.
You are a very rude Young lady.
I was just trying To be helpful.
Courtney aspinall, We're ready for you now.
I see.
Allison, Sweetheart, uh...
Can we have a few minutes?
Courtney seems to have Something in her eye.
All right.
Uh, then I'd like to introduce Myself. I'm michael chapman...
From the chapman and chapman Agency, although you may.
Remember me as...
Little mikey. You're little mikey!
You remember.
Oh, remember? I grew up on that show!
That's funny, so did I.
I didn't see you.
I used to watch you.
All the time.
You were so cute! I'm still so cute!
Anyway, I'm now representing This young lady over here...
And it would be such a... Well, Gosh, a big break for us...
If you'd just let her Read today, allison.
Uh, listen, I don't know.
These are the callbacks.
I have the head of the company In there.
He's a totally Hands-on type.
Mm, eh, has she Done anything before?
Here's her resumé.
Mom, I'm done!
How'd you do, honey?
This isn't very much.
Ya know, I hadn't done a thing When I walked into those.
Life with mikey auditions.
And, uh, well, Hey, we all know.
How that turned out.
Ahhh, okay. Okay, great.
Angie vega, This is mr. Corcoran,
The president and founder Of sunburst cookies.
It's a pleasure to meet you, Angie. You look very pretty.
Oh, you mustn't be frightened.
I'm just a little bit Of a sportsman.
You're not a sportsman. You're a murderer!
Well, shall we get started?
Angie, I'll read with you.
No, no, I, uh, I'm not a murderer.
Every one of these animals Was hunted legally.
And in accordance with the law.
Oh, I'm sure that's a Big relief to the bear.
All her baby cubs are probably Just sitting in their den,
Saying, "mom's stuffed on A stand in manhattan.
But that's the law.
Let's just hibernate And forget about it."
Finally!
You found a little girl With some spirit!
So, michael, Who's the new girl?
Why, you wanna steal her too?
I'll just leave now.
It's good to see you've reached A new level of maturity.
Oh, bite me.
My point exactly.
Ya know what? Can I tell you something?
You're just jealous 'cause I got a kid with some talent.
And you can't get her.
Hey, how'd it go? Did They laugh, they cry?
Nobody cried.
You know, chapman, you're right.
It's difficult not to be jealous With someone who peaks at 15,
Does a couple of love boats And a hollywood squares...
And winds up working for daddy Because he can't get a job.
Anywhere else.
I also did a charlie's angels, And you know that.
Hey, hey, hey! Hold the elevator.
Hey, hey, hey! Angie, what are you doin'?
I'm glad I caught you. Can I Speak to you for just a minute?
Yeah, what's up?
We have to finish The auditions.
Just as a courtesy.
We have been looking For this girl for months.
But mr. Corcoran Absolutely loved angie.
She got the job! She got the job!
Yes! Okay!
N-no, shh!
I'm quiet, quiet.
Thank you.
No, no, no, Thank you.
Here's the paperwork.
We need to see angie for a Costume fitting this friday.
Friday. You got it.
Yeah, what do you want?
Uh, is this the vega residence?
I'm looking For angie vega.
Lenny, who is it?
My name is michael chapman, I'm a friend...
Hey! Angie!
What are you Doing here?
You got it. You are The sunburst cookie girl.
Out of hundreds of kids, They picked you.
When do I get the money?
You wanna try to hold down The excitement a little bit?
When do we get the money?
After we shoot The first commercial!
Listen, I gotta get your sister To sign these documents.
I'll get 'em signed.
Angie?
I really wouldn't mind talkin' To her, if that's okay...
Now's not a good time.
Uh, angie? Listen, here's my home number.
Give me a call When she signs 'em.
Congratulations!
And you're from moscow.
That's our hometown.
You only had a moustache In those days.
Oh, you look So much older...
Remember, It's russia.
Cold. Brr.
Okay. So much older, Alexander vershinin-nin.
And you-you look so great.
In this sweater, Debbie, I swear.
Michael, please, stop.
I have this audition tomorrow. Are you gonna help me or not?
Da, da, da, okay.
Where were we?
Uh, that's me. The lovelorn major.
I wanted-tell me what that fabric is.
What is it?
Ahh, all right,
Just stay in character, all right?
It's cold. Brr!
This can't be happening.
Here's all the stuff you needed signed.
Now?
Oh, and I also thought I should bring this back.
Whose is this?
Mr. Cookieman's. Corcoran's.
I don't believe you!
I admit, it wasn't such a great idea, but,
You know, you get in a habit.
Oh, huh, I didn't know You had company.
Yeah.
Hello, I'm debbie. Hi, I'm angie.
This place is disgusting. Tell me about it.
Ah, she was just deliverin' This stuff. Angie's a client.
Oh, really? Me too.
I thought he just Represented kids.
No!
Is that true?
Kids of all ages Is what she meant.
Huh! Well, no wonder I've never gotten a job!
You're a kid's agent!
What are you saying, You never got a job?
I got you that job In the trojan women.
Oh, big deal!
One lousy production In a theater in passaic?
And I had to make The costumes too!
Debbie, debbie, debbie.
Any chance of getting time off For good behavior?
No.
Debbie! D-debbie, d-don't go.
Nice meeting you, angie.
Debbie...
Uh, did I come At a bad time?
No, no. That was perfect.
Think I'd gotten Just about everything
I could out of the evening.
So I was thinking, I can't concentrate.
On the commercials at home...
With lenny And all his stupid friends.
So I thought I'd stay here Until we're done.
That's three weeks away.
So what?
So I don't think your sister's Gonna be too happy about that.
Listen, I take better care Of her than she does of me.
So don't worry about it. She knows I'm here. It's cool.
It's not cool. Can I tell you something?
I don't wanna be rude...
And I'm real sorry About your domestic problems.
But this is My lucky pac-man pillow,
This is my house, This is your bag.
And that's the door. I like my privacy.
More than your commission?
What, are you threatening me? I don't respond well to threats.
I will not be threatened.
You are such a pig!
Yuck!
Yeah.
Do you know this girl? Is she staying with you?
That depends. What did she do?
Huh! I found her In the hall this morning,
Throwing out your garbage.
I'm sorry, mrs. Cantrell. That won't happen again.
I hope it happens Every day.
Usually, the garbage Just sits there,
Smelling up the whole place.
Not to mention The cigarette butts.
Dear?
Don't you think it's time To get ready for school?
Yeah, right. In my next life.
Look at this place!
Yeah. Thank you, Mrs. Cantrell.
Uuh!
Get away from me with that! I'm about to have breakfast.
Uhh. Uhh! Ooh!
What?
I don't believe this!
You let her stay In your apartment?
I don't understand you. I really don't.
I thought you'd be happy.
We finally get the biggest job We've had in years...
And you're upset 'cause There's a few little problems.
A few little problems?
You said she doesn't go To school.
She steals, she ran away From home. We're now.
Representing the omen.
Did you check her head For the little 666?
Yeah, there was only two sixes.
We got her just in time!
Miss briganti, Announce me, please.
Certainly.
The cereal king is here.
Hi, barry.
Barry!
What an unexpected pleasure.
I wanna go skating.
Skating?
Who doesn't?
Ah, I'd love to take you.
Skating, barry, but we're Still sort of working here.
Oh, is that right?
I bet brian spiro from United talent would be willing.
To take me skating.
I bet that-va-va-vavoom!
Well, hello, dolly!
Who's the troll?
Barry corman, I'd like you To meet our newest client,
Angie vega.
Enchante, mademoiselle.
Yuck!
How would you like to Accompany me to wollman rink,
My brown-eyed girl?
Get lost!
Hey, come on!
Get on the ice!
I've never been able To tie these things.
Mom always had to do it.
Ya know, I was thinkin',
It's real cramped At my apartment.
With angie there...
And, uh, you got that Big house and everything...
Oh, forget it!
Look, it's no place For a kid, ed.
I got various friends Comin' over at all hours...
And I stay up late And I play my music loud...
Oh, please.
Stop making it sound Like the copacabana.
It's a one-bedroom pigsty You share with various.
Bimbos and a 32-inch tv.
We're talkin' about a lot Of money here, and it's not.
Just gonna be these commercials.
This kid is very special.
Look, michael, You're gonna have to be.
Responsible for her.
Make sure she goes to School, stops stealing.
And do something About that knife.
All right, tv off.
You got school tomorrow.
I'm not Goin' to school.
Yeah, ya are.
I am not!
You are!
I already know Everything I have to know.
Ya know, you're right. I mean, you're smart.
You are so smart.
You're just not That smart.
I'm smart enough.
What's the capital Of new york?
Albany.
What's the capital Of new jersey?
Newark.
Trenton. Who was The 16th president?
Carter. Lincoln.
What's the longest river In the world?
The hudson. The nile.
Who's the oldest Beatle?
The oldest who?
How do you know This stuff anyway?
Cnn. How come you Don't know it?
Maybe you should go To school, huh?
I went to school.
Couldn't have been A very good one.
You wanna know About my school?
My school was a trailer outside The life with mikey set.
There was me, The girl who played.
My sister on the show... Who, Incidentally,
Is up for parole In a couple of months...
And this, uh, 73-year-old mennonite woman.
With halitosis And a hearing aid...
Named miss mitchell.
Yeah, and?
And I never got to know Any other kids.
Can you imagine What my prom was like?
I don't care. I'm not goin' to school.
And put that out.
Don't you ever read What secondary smoke.
Does to kids?
Lucky for me, I don't have any kids.
That's right.
I'm not your kid. So I don't Have to listen to you.
Yeah, you do.
And you're goin'.
If I go to school, You're out $18,750.
Come again?
Seven and a half percent Of $250,000.
First of all, It's ten percent.
And that means you're out- Uh-two...
$225,000.
Ya know, I'm tired of this.
Tired of you movin' Stuff around in my bathroom.
And I'm tired of you Tellin' me I can't smoke.
And I'm tired of you Eatin' muffins all the time.
And not givin' me any.
Tired of you Takin' over my bedroom.
And usin' my phone all the time; Throwin' out food just.
Because the expiration Date, it's not worth it.
Tomorrow you're goin' back To your sister's.
Where are you goin'? Wherever you're not!
I won't be here When you get back!
Great!
You wanna turn out the lights When you leave?
I hate you!
No, you don't!
Yes, I do!
This really sucks.
You see, by the end of the day, You're gonna be using much more.
Sophisticated terminology.
Like, uh, This really sucketh.
I better Get this over with.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Here, here. Don't forget this.
I can't believe You made me lunch.
Yeah.
With what? All you have In your fridge is ketchup.
It's mu shu pork.
I've taken out the pork.
Don't lose this lunch box.
That's a collector's item.
Really? How much Can I get for it?
Go to school.
Men!
Be nice to the other kids. Don't mug anybody.
Bye.
♪ Zip-a-dee-doo-dah ♪
♪ Zip-a-dee-ay my, oh, my ♪
♪ What a wonderful day ♪
♪ Mr. Bluebird on my shoulder Hey, you know what I mean ♪
♪ Zip-a-dee-doo-dah-day Hip-hip hooray ♪
♪ A-okay today's my day, Friend ♪
♪ And I still wanna play Sunshine on my mind ♪
♪ Rewind to time just Like albert einstein ♪
♪ Say, where's the bird There's the bird ♪
♪ The bluebird, That's the truth ♪
♪ Ooh, it makes you say "word" ♪
♪ It's the actual Satisfactual manufacture ♪
♪ Better believe Ooh-de-shoz, irresistible ♪
♪ Dip-a-dee-doo-dah Zip-a-dee-ay ♪
♪ My, oh, my What a... ♪
Excuse me, george.
Misters chapman, I think you oughta come out.
And look at this.
Now? What's the problem?
Oh, my god! What happened?
I got in a fight. But it's okay, I won.
Should see the other guy.
The other guy doesn't have A commercial to shoot tomorrow.
Neither does she with that face.
Ya know what's good?
A piece of steak. You put it on the eye.
We can't afford steak.
I don't want Any meat on my face.
Quick! Somebody get some tofu.
How's it look?
Like the opening scene From rocky.
Why me?
I'm a good person. I believe in god.
Don't worry. They don't call it Cover girl for nothin'.
Here we are. How do ya feel?
You all right?
You'll do fine. You look great.
No one's gonna notice. You look good.
Good morning, angie. How are you today?
Good, mr. C.
Good morning, Mr. Corcoran.
Wait, what's Wrong with your face?
Why is she wearing All that makeup?
Your eye's all puffy.
Now, that's not gonna show up On screen, is it?
We can't have that.
I don't think you're Gonna have a problem...
What happened was-wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
I was in the cafeteria yesterday And I told a few people.
About the commercial.
And there was this one girl, Sheila bersten.
She said sugar gems are better Than sunburst cookies.
Sugar gems!
They're made with lard And preservatives!
That's what I told her.
I said, "sunburst cookies Are all natural.
No preservatives.
Just nature's own recipe." And then she punched me.
Now, now, now, that's all right.
She was probably Just a little jealous.
It all happened so fast.
There were cookies everywhere.
Now, don't you worry.
You're my girl.
Somebody cover up That eye.
Come along to makeup.
What a week!
First I lose my wallet. Now this.
Action!
I hate it when it's raining.
There's-there's...
Cut! Cut!
No problem. Keep it going.
Make the heavens weep.
Right away, please.
Mark it.
Sunburst cookies, Take two.
And action!
I hate it when it's raining.
We don't get to go outside For recess...
Or ride our Bikes after school.
Cut!
You're supposed to hold The cookies up.
And you've got to be more Excited! Excited!
Sunburst cookies, Take 21.
Action.
Sunboist cookies... Cut! Sunboist?
Sunburst cookies, Take 49.
And action.
Sunburst cookies... Aah!
Cut! Cut! Cut! Cut!
Mr. Corcoran, could I See you for a moment?
All right, people,
Hold your positions.
Go talk to her.
Excuse me.
I can't do this.
Yes, you can.
Just relax, all right? You're gonna be fine.
It would be easier If you'd just let me talk.
Like a real person.
I hate it when it's raining.
I should have known.
It's my favorite little Sunny friends."
I mean, it's like a cookie For manic depressives.
Huh! Okay, it's stupid.
You're right, It's a stupid line.
But it's no more Stupid than,
I hope little jimmy gets A batman doll for christmas...
Because he really wants it, Blah, blah, blah."
I mean, that's pretty stupid.
But that's what show business Is all about:
Acting like an idiot.
It's not you, You're just doin' your job.
You know what I mean?
Most people feel like idiots.
Most of the time...
But they don't Get paid for it.
Relax, you're gonna be fine.
I know what an idiot you can be.
Come on.
All right,
Friends and relatives, Take a hike, please.
Clear my set, come on.
Get ready, mark it.
Is she okay? She's okay.
And action.
I hate it when it's raining.
We don't get to go outside For recess...
Or ride our Bikes after school.
Where's that coming from?
I should have known!
Cut!
Let's try it with a closed bag, For god's sake!
Makeup, I can still See the eye. Angie,
Better.
Sunburst cookies, Take 72.
And action.
My favorite little Sunny friends.
Sunburst cookies are made.
With heartwarming honey.
And... Oh, yes!
A special splash of sunburst for That fabulously fresh flavor.
Sunburst cookies,
Take 81.
Sunburst cookies Light up my d... My...
Sunburst cookies Light up my...
Sunburst cookies Light up my day!
Cut!
Perfect. We're wrapped.
How about our little girl, huh?
Oh-ho-ho!
Listen, if these spots look As good as I think they will,
You boys and I are gonna Have to sit down and discuss...
Making angie our national Sunburst cookie girl.
Oh-ho-ho!
This is great!
Oh! Oh!
Thank you, Mr. Corcoran.
Hey, You were great!
Ahh, I am really beat.
Ya know, you always Just watch commercials...
And you never, ever think How hard it is to make them.
You were great.
I was proud of ya.
In fact, when I was Watchin' ya,
You kinda reminded me...
Of this time I was doin' the show.
And this, um-
♪ Hey, louie can you see I couldn't leave you ♪
♪ If I tried hey, Louie listen to me ♪
♪ We've got a thing So dignified ♪
♪ It don't matter ♪
♪ If we lived in a shack Or in a shiny cadillac ♪
♪ It don't matter Rich or poor ♪
♪ When love is knockin' At your door ♪
♪ It feels like christmas Just like christmas ♪
♪ It feels like christmas With you ♪
♪ It feels like christmas Just like christmas ♪
♪ It feels like christmas With you ♪
♪ Don't you know It feels like christmas ♪
♪ Just like christmas It feels like christmas ♪
♪ With you every day ♪
♪ It feels like christmas Just like christmas ♪ ♪
Hello, I'm mrs. Gordon. Are you mr. Chapman?
Yeah, I am.
And I just wanna Tell you right now...
That we're claimin' Self defense on this one.
Angela, I'm not amused.
Angela!
I want you and evan To wait outside.
For a minute, please. And no hitting.
I didn't hit him That hard!
She broke my retainer.
You gotta jab, buddy.
She'll get that Overhand right in.
They're so cute at this age, Aren't they?
Would you mind telling me What your relationship.
Is to angela?
Uh, yeah, sure.
Angie... Angela, uh, is doing A series of commercials.
For sunburst cookies...
And, uh, I'm her agent.
Although, right now, I'm thinkin' about bein'
Her boxing promoter.
This isn't funny, mr. Chapman. Please sit down.
We have a very serious Problem here.
Now, angela Is an extremely bright girl,
But she's also very lonely.
She eats lunch by herself Every day. She barely talks.
To the other children.
No kidding. I had no idea.
That's because She's not very good.
At expressing her feelings.
She either runs away Or hits.
So, instead of writing A love letter...
Or drawing little hearts On her notebooks.
Like the other girls, She's going to give evan.
A concussion.
I... You mean, she, uh... Has A crush on him.
And I know it's very sweet,
But... She's frightened and Insecure and not sure.
Of how to be with Other children.
She's become... Really withdrawn...
And difficult since her Mother passed away.
Listen, um, are you Sure you wanna be.
Talkin' to me about this?
'Cause this... Really Isn't my area.
Fine. You're the one She told me to call.
But tell me, mr. Chapman, Who should I be talking to?
Where is mikey? It's 8:30.
I'm really beginning To get worried.
I hope he's not in Any kind of trouble.
I never should have Yelled at him.
Now, it's not your fault, Helen.
The boy let the Dog out of the yard.
I miss him.
We all miss mikey, honey.
I was talking about the dog!
Maybe we should call the police.
You're right.
What?
Merry christmas, everyone.
How come You never told me.
About your mother?
I don't want to talk About my family, okay?
It's my business.
Since when does ed.
Want to see me on a weekend?
I don't know. He just Said it was important.
What time you got? I don't know.
Why don't you get A watch?
I haven't got time To get a watch.
Get it? Get it?
Yo, bambi.
Hey, angie. Hey, michael.
What's shakin'?
Surprise!
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪ It's not my birthday.
I know that. I know that.
But I thought you needed A party, and besides that...
I thought it was a perfect Opportunity to meet mr. Right.
Oh, my god!
♪ Dear angie ♪ Angie.
♪ happy birthday to you! ♪
Save it, judy, save it.
All right.
I see what you like.
About the guy.
Really. He's cute. He's polite.
We know he can Take a punch, right?
I can't believe you did this.
Ah, will you just go in And talk to him?
Come on, just... Ask him What his hobbies are.
Talk to him about class.
Tell him his teeth are Really straightening out.
You don't understand.
I try to talk to him, chapman. But he won't even look at me.
I'm ugly, that's the problem.
You are not ugly.
Hey, hey, hey, You're not ugly.
Can you say that?
Can you say, I'm not ugly?
Say, "I'm not ugly.
I'm not ugly.
I'm not ugly!" I'm not ugly.
Well, you... That... Now that was ugly.
Say, "I'm not ugly."
I'm not ugly! I'm not ugly.
Right. Right.
Hey, birthday girl!
Let me be the first to say You don't look a day over ten.
This is just a small token Of my affection.
And there is more Where that came from.
Now that is ugly.
Ed?
Hi. Hi!
Ed, we've been meaning To talk to you about judy.
She's been with you For two years now.
Yeah.
That's a lot of Wasted talent.
You know, we'd.
Really love to See her on a series.
Oh, so would I. Um, As a matter of fact,
Someone from nbc Just called about judy.
The other day.
Didn't they, geena?
No. Yes!
So, you like acting. Not really.
It's kind of stupid.
I think it's kind of cool That you're doing it.
Angie has time to go to school, Do her homework and make.
Commercials in her spare time.
Don't let her go. Do you mind?
Excuse me.
Shake it, george! Shake it, george!
Hey, hey!
Hey, can I get your attention?
Everybody listen up!
In honor of our birthday girl, I've made reservations.
For a very elegant affair.
Kids only.
But! But...
But I need you all to be On your very best behavior.
There you go,
Take that!
Kill the lobotomizer!
Kill him! Kill him!
Will somebody please Throw judy wasserman.
In the ring!
Oh, sure george!
Are you gonna catch her When they throw her back?
Come on!
I hate wrestling.
Yeah, but evan loves it.
Want me to Get you a soda?
Okay.
Smash his ear!
Ow! Oh!
Happening. It's happening! Loan me your hat real fast.
My hat?
Ew!
Ew, gross!
Never again!
From now on it's only Kosher franks for me.
Here. Keep it!
One, two, three!
You're outta there!
Yeah! Here, take that!
Winner...
Here, mike, come here.
Get outta the way!
I wanna tell you somethin'. I wanna say, I'm the greatest!
I'm a killer! I'm an animal!
And I also wanna say...
Happy birthday to angie vega From all the gang.
At chapman and chapman.
Now get down here, angie, Or I'm gonna have to.
Come up there and get ya!
Whoa! Whoa!
Come on, come on. Go. Come on!
Come on, get on down here!
Come on!
Hey! Who invited you Down here, punk?
Here, come here! You wanna be in the ring?
Well, now you're in here.
Stop! Put him down!
No! Put him down!
I'll put him down, little Girl. Here, you take him.
Oh my god!
Whoa, where are you goin', Little lady?
Come on, everybody!
♪ Happy birthday to you Happy birthday to you ♪
♪ Happy birthday, dear angie Happy birthday to you ♪
Wrestlers are not really That mean, you know.
They're just like hammy Tv actors, which is why.
They didn't hurt me.
It's like a Professional courtesy.
Those tickets must've Cost you a lot of money.
They cost $237, but they Didn't cost me anything.
It's coming out of your cut.
I think judy wasserman Would make a great wrestler.
They could call her The mermanator.
Hey, if you're not gonna wear.
That stole that barry Gave you, do you mind.
If I borrow it?
Be my guest.
You and evan Set a date yet?
Shut up!
You really are 11, ang. Enjoy it.
I know it was the High point of my life.
I was thinking about...
Hey! What happened?
The corporate secretary called.
She said it was important He see both of us right away.
You think?
He's making angie The official spokesgirl.
Oh, look at this!
Hello, mr. C.
Mr. Corcoran, Good to see you again.
Sit down, gentlemen!
Whoops!
Just gonna...
This is my attorney, Mr. Norman feller.
Hey, norman.
Oh, pleasure To meet you, norman.
I've always loved That name, "norman."
That's nice.
Mr. Feller, would you Tell these gentlemen...
What you've just told me?
Yes, sir.
Our legal department does the Check into all the contractual.
Aspects of the commercials.
We discovered that the signature On angie's contract...
Belongs to a janice vega, Who is not her legal guardian.
Angie's actual guardian Is her father, a richard vega.
No, that's, that's not, That's not possible.
You told me Her father was dead.
He's dead. He's dead!
Angie's father, Who is very much alive,
Is at a rehab center upstate.
These commercials cost me One-half million dollars.
And now I may not Be able to air them!
I don't know what to say, sir.
We had no idea... What do you do?
Pick up kids From off the streets?
Now listen carefully!
If these contracts...
Are not on my desk by Tomorrow morning, signed.
By angie's father, You will pay for.
These commercials, And then I will sue you...
For breach of contract, Fraud and gross negligence!
Now believe me, If you do not comply,
I will have your heads. Now get out of my office!
Ohhh!
This is my fault.
I should never have Listened to you.
Anyone who's stupid enough To listen to you...
Deserves to wind up In this situation.
Do me a favor, ed.
Don't make it sound like I'm a complete moron.
She told me that her Father was dead!
So what? Corcoran's right.
It was our job to know She has a father!
I don't even know what We're doing representing.
Her in the first place.
You are unbelievable!
Twenty minutes ago...
You were thrilled When you thought the money.
Was gonna come rolling in.
Now don't be such a hypocrite, All right, ed?
Don't tell me about the money!
You think because you Go out and find one client.
In the past two years...
I should get down On my knees and thank you?
I have kept this agency Open for the past ten years!
If it wasn't for me, ed, There wouldn't be an agency.
Well, that's old news, michael.
That was 15 years ago!
That excuse doesn't Hold up anymore.
All right, fine. Fine.
You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna go up to elmira.
I'm gonna get The signature myself.
I'm gonna do it All by myself!
I'm gonna need your car And some money for gas.
When was the last time.
You were behind the wheel?
I'm doing this. Why don't you Go back to the office.
And call our lawyer?
What lawyer?
Eric the magician's father, He's a lawyer, right?
Call him.
Eric the magician...
Oh, oh! Let me in.
All right. All right. I'm okay.
Let me in, I'll drive!
I'm okay, I'm okay! I'm okay!
Who cares about you?
I still have payments On this car!
Michael, get out of the...
So that's when I decided that The best thing to do would be...
Just to get in the car And drive up here.
I... I appreciate what You're doing for angie.
But I'm her father.
Why didn't you call me?
Well, angie never Told me about you.
What do you mean?
Well... She said you were dead.
Oh.
I mean, I think she meant it In the best sense of the word.
You know, like tired dead. Dead tired. Pooped.
When my wife died, I lost it. Okay?
I snapped, and this is something Very difficult for me to admit,
But I was not there For my daughters.
The way I should have been.
I... You don't have to Explain to me. Listen.
My life has been going Downhill for about 15 years.
I mean, at least you Have daughters.
I have no kids. I have no money.
I have no... Life.
I'm sorry, did I interrupt you? No, go on.
I'm starting to feel better. I'm starting to feel worse.
Well, maybe you should Come here and stay for a while.
Actually this is a pretty good.
Place, and I'm feeling great.
When I get my family back, I'll be all right.
Zip-a-dee-doo-dah.
Zip-a-dee-ay My, oh, my.
What a wonderful day Plenty of sunshine.
Comin' my way zip...
Hey, chapman!
How're ya doin'?
I hope you're hungry 'Cause we're having spaghetti.
That is, if I can get it Off the side of the pot.
Hey, ang?
Oh, and anna called.
She said you were supposed To call her back friday.
Angie?
You really get around.
You a condom tester Or something?
Angie!
I met your father today.
What did you say?
I said, I saw your dad today. I went up to elmira.
How come you didn't Tell me about him?
I hate my father.
I like him.
I can't believe you went up to See him without asking me first.
You had no right to do that!
It wasn't exactly A pleasure trip!
You know corcoran threatened To sue me and ed if we didn't.
Get your father's signature?
You could've told me first!
If you had been honest with me, We wouldn't even be having.
This conversation right now.
You gotta stop lying, ang. Don't give me that.
You lie all the time. I do not.
No?
You lied to ed about me When we first went.
Up to the office. Right?
And then you made up.
Some fake resumé for me.
And then... You lie To your girlfriends.
That's different. Yeah, right.
It's okay for you to lie.
Look, the point is your Dad's worried about you...
And he wants to talk to you.
And he thinks you should Go back to your house.
He said he would make Sure lenny moves out.
He's your father, ang.
I think you should Do what he says.
Fine. I'll leave now.
I'm not saying you Should leave now.
No, I want to.
Will... Will you just Calm down for a second?
Maybe we can sit down And discuss this!
There's nothing to discuss.
Everybody's already Decided what I should do.
I mean, don't bother Asking me or anything.
We haven't decided What you should do.
It's just that...
If you get together and Talk, maybe you could.
Work it out with him.
I'm just trying To help, ang!
You can't help me. You can't even help yourself.
Look at you!
You're disgusting, You live like a pig...
And you think you're Real charming and cute.
And that everybody loves you.
But you're 31, You have no money and you.
Walk around telling everybody...
About some stupid Television show you were on.
That nobody cares about anymore.
You're a has-been.
Don't be mean, angie.
If you wanna talk, We'll talk,
But don't be mean.
I don't wanna talk.
There's nothing to talk about. I did the commercials.
I get my money, you get Your money and that's it.
Everybody's happy.
Wait a minute. Angie!
Just leave me alone.
Where are you going?
And don't follow me.
♪ Where did summer go How'd I miss ♪
♪ The change of season All at once ♪
♪ The wind blows rough It's cold enough to snow ♪
In the street below.
Hey, you're back! You okay?
Yeah.
♪ They've got no reason Don't they know ♪
♪ It's cold enough to snow ♪
♪ On the radio there's a guy Says it's not freezin' ♪
Hi, angie.
Thank you. Merry christmas.
Ho, ho, ho! Merry christmas.
Geena!
Merry christmas, Mr. Chapman.
Merry christmas To you too, geena.
How about a kiss?
Geena, let's make out. Ed in the office?
Yeah.
He's in with mrs. Corman.
Am I interrupting anything?
Oh, none of your concern.
Mrs. Corman was Just in the middle of.
Giving us the axe...
On behalf of barry.
Oh!
I tried to talk to him, But he would not budge.
He's just sold On this mr. Spiro.
Can I say something?
Excuse me if I'm out of line, But I can't believe,
After all these years together, That barry couldn't come up here.
And just tell us this himself.
He's in disney world With mr. Spiro.
It was his christmas present.
Well, I won't keep you.
I know you must have More pressing matters.
To discuss than barry.
Yeah, I gotta Call the movers.
Well, good-bye, gentlemen.
I hope we can still be friends.
All right, Let's not panic, okay?
We still got money coming in.
No, we don't.
Corcoran's lawyer called.
They're holding us responsible For legal fees and the cost.
Of delaying the commercials.
We're lucky if we break even On the sunburst spot.
Without barry, We're dead.
No, no, no, no, no, no. Come on.
At the next open audition, some Terrific tyke is gonna come in.
We're gonna be right back.
Michael, I'm gonna Work for uncle larry.
No, ed!
You're not gonna change my mind.
Please... Don't make this harder For me than it already is.
I love you, I'll miss working with you,
I'll even miss this Godforsaken place,
But I've got no choice.
What am I supposed to do? Huh? What about me?
You'll be fine! Maybe this Will turn out to be the best.
Thing for the both of us.
That's easy for you to say, ed. You've got a job,
Degrading though it may be.
I have to go out And I can't tell you why.
Geena, what?
Well, if you're gonna Beat it outta me, I'll tell ya.
Angie's at lord and taylor's.
She was caught shoplifting, And she needs somebody.
To get her out.
Mr. Chapman, You be nice to her.
I can't talk now,
We're having a party. I will call you later, yes.
I'm gonna pick everything up. All right.
I love you too. Bye.
Hi. My name is michael chapman. I'm looking for angie vega.
And?
Shoplifter.
Ah, yes.
What are you doing here?
Could we have a minute?
Thanks.
Yeah.
I called for geena, not you.
Just go away, okay?
Just calm down, all right? It's not geena's fault.
I had to drag it out of her.
Can I leave now?
What's wrong with you? Huh?
I mean, why do you do this?
Just forget About it, okay?
You don't need the money.
Yes, I do!
Lenny stole my paycheck And disappeared, okay?
You happy now?
No. No. I still don't know What you need so bad.
That you gotta steal it.
What, a bottle of perfume?
It's a christmas present.
For janice.
Who's the watch for?
Since when do you need a watch?
You know how you never Know what time it is?
Well, this way you won't Be late to appointments,
Ed wouldn't get Mad, and...
And maybe... I could Stay with you.
Angie!
Didn't you like it When I was there?
Yeah, you know I did.
Then what's the problem?
It was a temporary situation. That's why it was fun.
I'm not your father.
I know that. My father left me.
You think he wanted to?
He left so he could Get better and come back.
And take care of you.
How do you know that?
Have I ever steered you wrong?
I told you you would be Terrific in commercials,
And you were.
I told you to go to school, And look how well you're doing.
I told you to talk to evan, And now he's deeply.
In love with you.
Shut up.
I think you're.
On television!
Oh, yeah. Well, That's possible. I used to...
No, not you. Her!
On the commercial!
On the tv commercial. Come on!
Hurry up, you're gonna miss it!
Great!
Excuse us.
Excuse us. Hey!
Yes!
Oh, my god!
I should've known.
It's my favorite Little sunny friend.
Hey.
Sunburst cookies Light up my day.
Ah, come here.
Well, I guess it would be Bad luck to arrest the...
Sunburst cookie girl On christmas eve.
Yeah!
Next time you buy your presents Like everybody else.
She will. She will.
But if you're gonna Steal a present,
Isn't this a beauty?
All right. Thank you.
Isn't it great?
Good-bye. Go.
Yes. Let's go, let's go.
♪ Hark, the herald Hark, hark, the angels ♪
♪ Hark, the herald angels sing Glory to the newborn king ♪
I'm sorry you had to Come down and get me.
I know it was embarrassing.
Don't sweat it. I don't Shop there much anyway.
So, what are you gonna Do for christmas eve?
I don't know. Janice is working.
Wanna come with me to ed's? Nah.
I don't have any presents For anybody anyway.
So, um... Merry christmas. Merry christmas.
Angie!
It was a beautiful watch. Thanks a lot.
But if you really wanna get me Something for christmas,
You know what you Could do for me?
What?
Looks nice.
Yeah.
Nice decorations.
Yeah, really nice. Really decorative.
I changed my mind. I'm going.
No way, angie.
Ho, ho, ho!
Hey, look at this.
Merry christmas!
How are you, little lady?
Have you been bad or good This holiday season?
Don't ask, santa.
Come on, come on, What would you like.
For christmas?
I'd like for you To find a chimney.
And shove yourself... All right, okay.
Santa, it's not a good time.
Well, aren't you An interesting little girl!
You can say that again.
Hi.
Well... Hi, angie.
Hi.
Michael.
Hey. Merry christmas, Richard.
Merry christmas.
So, how was your ride up?
Okay.
Good. Why don't we all Go into the lounge?
Ho, ho, ho! Merry christmas!
Listen. You guys... Why don't you go ahead?
I've got some really important Phone calls to make.
You know how show business is.
High stakes, big deals Happening every minute.
On christmas eve?
Yeah, we represent A lot of elves.
Go ahead. It's okay.
Let's go.
There's a seat Over there in the corner.
Hi. How are you, mary?
It's my daughter, Angie.
Hi.
My daughter, angie.
Sit down.
Look, I want you To have this book.
It's a gift.
It's very, very Important to me.
I want you to read it.
I wrote all the things I Wanna change about myself.
And no drinks.
Well, are you gonna start Drinking when we get home?
No, I won't. I promise.
Read, read the book.
See this? These are all of the Things that I've been thinking.
While I've been in here.
Thank you. Thank you, baby.
Oh, sorry.
That's okay.
You know, actually...
She's been really Good this year.
Chapman and chapman. But not for long.
How may I help you?
Geena? It's angie.
What's the matter?
It's over.
The agency's closing.
It's all over.
What happened?
Ohhh!
That little shrunken cretin, Barry corman,
He finally got his way.
Barry, so nice to see you!
You look gorgeous.
And I'm so glad you Finally came around.
What was it?
My smile? My personality?
My financial status?
All of the above. Something's going on.
Why are you suddenly So nice to me, my lady in red?
Well, there was something I wanted to talk to you about.
I just heard Chapman and chapman.
Was closing.
Yeah. I'm all broken up. What's your point?
I think you should Go back with them.
Hey, toots, my cologne Makin' you dizzy?
Listen to me, dream boat.
Those guys are bums, They're losers.
They couldn't get Castro a job in cuba.
Come here, barry.
I wanna whisper Something in your ear.
You listen to me!
You think you're Gonna be 12 forever?
You're not. You're gonna get Bigger and uglier and hairier.
And in a few years when Nobody'll hire you, spiro'll.
Drop you like a hot potato.
But michael and ed will Always be there for you.
Okay, okay!
What a she-devil!
Geena didn't say What the problem was?
She just said it was some Kind of emergency, and we.
Should get here right away.
She probably Broke another nail.
Surprise!
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪ For me?
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
You know it's not my Birthday, right?
I know.
But I thought you needed a party And we got the perfect present.
♪ Happy birthday, dear michael ♪ Actually it's for both of you.
Just as long as You didn't steal it.
I don't think so. It's hard To put a cake in your pocket.
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
Well, come on, blow Out the candles.
Ta-da!
Whoa, this is a big cake!
I'm gonna need some help Here with these candles.
Hey, it's your lucky day!
I'm back!
See?
Now the agency can stay open. Yeah!
Ang, this is great. How'd you pull this off?
Well, angie and I had a little Talk, and she convinced me.
To be loyal and nice and...
What was that other thing?
A human being. Yeah, whatever.
Well, barry,
I never thought I'd say this, But it is great to see you.
Again, and thanks for not Jumping out of the cake naked.
What do you think? Some gift, huh?
Actually I was hoping For power tools.
Tsk!
Ed, what are you talking about?
We're back in business here. Lassie has come home!
Yeah!
Michael, please!
He'll leave again in a month...
When you call him An overgrown munchkin,
And I'll be stuck Here alone with the.
Children that time forgot.
♪ you'll be swell ♪
♪ You'll be great ♪ Judy, switch to decaf.
I don't believe it!
You just can't save some people.
Come on, mr. Chapman, It'll be just like old times.
Yeah!
Yeah. Why do you think I'm leaving?
Ed!
Remember you said I should Decide whether I wanna.
Do this job or not?
Well, I decided, ed. I wanna do it!
I'm ready to do it!
Listen to him, ed! He's great with kids!
Look what he did for me!
That's right. Ed, ed!
I turned her from a pickpocket Into a star into a shoplifter.
You think that's easy?
Yeah!
Hi, we're here.
For the open auditions.
I'm sorry, ma'am, But the agency is closed...
Forever.
Listen, my daughter Has a wonderful voice.
And I've been Practicin' and practicin'.
Ed, come on.
Listen to me, All right?
I wanna tell you something That I've never told you before.
All right?
When they had the life of mikey Auditions and dad took me down,
And they said, "we're not Seeing any more kids,".
And dad said... Dad said, "I'm not Leaving until you see my kid."
And we stayed there Until they saw me.
Mom took you To those auditions.
All right, So do it for mom.
Do it for mom, Right? Come on!
Do it for mom.
♪ Come on along and listen to ♪
♪ The lullaby of broadway The hit parade and ballyhoo ♪
♪ The lullaby of broadway The rumble of the subway... ♪
Geena! Geena, hold... Hold on for a second.
What did you say Your name was again?
Kimberly denise jackson.
Kimberly.
You got a real pretty Voice, kimberly.
Thank you.
Do you think that you Could sing any louder?
Mm-hmm.
Oh, and one other thing.
Can you try and pretend that, um, somewhere.
Outside of this room...
Mm-hmm.
Outside this build... Across the street...
Uh-huh.
Across the ocean... In, in russia, kimberly,
There's an old guy with a cup of yogurt,
And he's saying, all I want is to hear.
Kimberly denise jackson sing before I die."
Can you do that for him, kimberly?
Can you sing for him, kimberly?
Can you do it?
Uh-huh.
Let's give it a try.
Okay, geena. Come on. Throw yourself into it!
Get crazy! Get loud!
♪ A rumble of the subway train ♪
Good. A little bit louder.
♪ The rattle of the taxis ♪
Sing as if your life depended on it.
♪ The daffodils that entertain ♪
Sing as if my life depended on it.
♪ At angelo and maxie's when the broadway baby ♪
♪ Says good night ♪
Good. Great!
♪ And it's early in the morning ♪
♪ Manhattan baby don't sleep tight ♪
Kimberly, just let it go.
♪ Until the dawn ♪ Yes!
And I hate this song. Yes!
♪ Good night oh, my baby ♪
♪ Good night ♪
Ang, what a great Birthday present!
Give me five percent, and we'll call it even.
Get a life!
♪ Oh, listen to ♪
All right, already. Let's sign this girl.
He comes crawlin' back.
♪ Ohhh ♪
♪ Of broadway ♪
♪ The lullaby of broadway ♪ ♪
Oh, sure, she can carry a tune,
But let's not forget who pays the bills around here, huh.
Death!
Yeah!
Gotcha!
♪ It's life with mikey life with mikey ♪
♪ Throw another one, angie. ♪
♪ He's coming, look out there's trouble in store ♪
♪ No doubt ♪
♪ That's life with mikey ♪
♪ Batten down the hatches put away the matches ♪
♪ The cat's in the dryer the car's short a tire ♪
♪ And who stole daddy's cigar the basement's soakin' ♪
♪ The window's broken Mikey can't be very far ♪
♪ He's castin' his spell and everything's gone ♪
♪ Pell-mell oh well, ♪
♪ That's life life with mikey ♪
♪ Watch out ♪ ♪
♪ Where did summer go ♪
♪ How'd I miss the change of season ♪
♪ All at once the wind blows rough ♪
♪ It's cold enough to snow in the street below ♪
♪ People laugh they got no reason ♪
♪ Don't they know it's cold enough to snow ♪
♪ When we were together and you were stayin' ♪
♪ Funny but the weather still felt like may ♪
♪ In mid-december now the chill winds blow ♪
♪ Sunny skies are only teasin' you won't show ♪
♪ It's cold enough to snow ♪
♪ On the radio there's a man says it ain't freezin' ♪
♪ What's he know he didn't watch you go ♪
♪ Now the sun can shine if it wants to, fine ♪
♪ But it's cold enough to snow ♪ ♪