王子不是馬丁•路德•金的兒子
沙發拋棄家庭 藏匿於報紙中
體育新聞 沙發贏了大比賽
商業新聞 沙發蒞臨紐約證券交易所
沙發大拍賣
沙發小笑話
黃毛一家在找沙發 不計前嫌
家人與沙發又團聚 靜靜坐好
《辛普森一家》 第二十二季第十二集
今晚的"肯特來該錯"節目 Tonight on "Kent's Korrections,"
我們注意到 it has been brought to our attention
"改錯"的"改"應該是"改" that the word "Correction" Is actually spelled with a "C."
非常抱歉由此造成的困擾 We regret any confusion this may have caused.
麗莎 一直換台不要停 看到好節目再停下來 Lisa, mash the buttons till something good comes on.
歡迎回到"電視小鎮"頻道 Welcome back to Tube Town,
《警員健康之家》 《黑人總統》 the home of Sheriff Wholesome; Black President...
《失敗的吉娜•大衛斯 情景喜劇1986》 Failed Geena Davis Sitcom 1986...
《畫外音之年》 The Voiceover Years...
《汗尼根 美術大師》 即將播出的是 Hannigan, M.F.A.-- But coming up now,
八十年代經典情景喜劇 《血濃於水》 the classic '80s sitcom, Thicker Than Waters.
*珍惜家人的微笑* Cherish that family smile.
*家庭隔閡終會消失* Picket fence days don't last forever
*新的一天即將到來* The future is coming up.
*父母和孩子才是寶貴的* Mom and dad and kids are precious.
在攝影棚觀眾前現場錄影 Filmed before a live studio audience.
那些攝影棚觀眾現在都死翹翹了 Everyone in that studio audience is dead now.
你知道糖果對你的牙齒不好 You know candy's bad for your teeth.
如果不是糖果的功勞 你早就失業了 If it wasn't for candy, you'd be out of business.
把這些分給你的朋友們吧 Hmm. Share these with your friends.
老爸 我需要個新棒球手套 Dad, I need a new baseball glove.
兒子 如果我只給你買個手套 Son, if I just bought you a glove,
你是不會感激的 you wouldn't appreciate it.
恐怕你需要 I'm afraid you're gonna have to
自己掙錢買手套 earn the money for it yourself.
別啊 老爸 Aw, come on, Dad.
不 別擺出"那種表情" Oh no, not "The face."
當機器告訴你什麼時候應該笑 Oh, life was so much easier
生活真是容易多了 when a machine told you when to laugh.
我喜歡這裡面的製片 執行製片 I liked the producing, the executive producing
特別是合作製片 and especially the co-producing.
但這裡的監製是我見過最棒的 But the supervising producing was the best I've ever seen.
所以說 我和娜娜分手了 So anyway, that's why me and Nana are taking a break.
這個傻帽廉價車 Oh, stupid cheap bike.
虧了我還想給你裝上擋泥板 To think I was gonna put fenders on you.
老天爺啊 Oh, my God!
街頭霸王
我想我遇見了為之赴湯蹈火的東西 I think I just met the thing I'm gonna die on.
我一定要買那輛迷你機車 Gotta have that minibike.
老天爺啊 Oh, my God.
我找到了我的新形象 I've found my new look.
那是女孩們穿的連身褲 Those are girl overalls.
我能把它從她身上脫下來 I could pull it off.
-我能買它嗎 老爸 -巴仔 Can I have it, Dad? Bart?!
能嗎 Can I?
謝謝你沒有給我買手套 Thanks for not buying me that glove
並且教會我什麼是真正重要的東西 and teaching me what's really important.
巴仔 兒子 如果我買給你那輛車 Bart, son, if I bought you that bike,
你不會感激的 you wouldn't appreciate it.
因為當你得到所有你想要的 Because when you get anything you want,
你是不會珍惜你所得到的 you don't want anything you get.
什麼亂七八糟的 What is this crap?
你身上有電線嗎 Are you wearing a wire?
有一天你會明白我只是 在盡一個好爸爸的責任 Someday you'll understand that I'm just being a good dad.
你開玩笑嗎 Are you kidding?
你是世界上最糟糕的爸爸 You're the worst dad who ever lived.
我寧願在悶熱的車裡待著 I'd rather take my chances in a hot car
也不願跟你去商店 than go in a store with you.
為什麼 你個小... Why, you little...
侯默 一個好父親的 影響力足夠強大 Homer, a good father is strong enough
他並不需要動用武力 that he doesn't need to use his strength.
巴仔需要的是被包圍在你的愛之中 What Bart needs is for you to strangle him with your love.
我從沒想過 I never thought of fatherhood
父愛可以影響孩子 as something that could affect a kid.
兒子 我不會再掐你了 Son, I won't strangle you anymore,
但我也不會給你買迷你機車 but I also won't get you that minibike.
這樣如何 How about this?
我讓你打我臉一拳 你給我買機動雪車 I let you punch me in the face and you get me a snowmobile.
我希望能這樣 兒子 I wish I could, son.
我真希望能這樣 I really wish I could.
現在可以裝垃圾了 Now it's ready for garbage.
默默 怎麼了 What's wrong, Homie?
巴仔生氣了 因為 他讓我給他買東西 Bart's mad because he wanted me to buy him something,
但我覺得不該這樣做 but I didn't think it was the right thing to do--
馬姬 別在冰箱前這樣 Marge, not in front of the refrigerator.
沒有比一個好爸爸更性感的人了 There's nothing sexier than a man being a good dad.
如果是那樣 Oh, well, in that case,
麗薩昨天在用太陽能計算器的時候 Lisa was using her solar calculator yesterday,
我就拉開窗簾讓更多的陽光照進來 so I opened the drapes to let in more sun.
希望孩子們沒聽到 Just hope the kids didn't hear us.
你孩子或許沒聽見 Well, maybe your kids didn't.
-麗薩 我們談談 -我很忙 -Lise, I gotta talk to you. -I'm busy.
不要把我最小化 : Don't you minimize me!
好吧 進來 Fine. Just get in here.
我怎麼才能賺到錢 買世界上最屌的東西 How can I earn money to buy the world's most awesome thing?
你可以送報紙 You could deliver newspapers.
小孩們不再送報紙了 Kids don't deliver newspapers anymore.
那樣賺錢太慢了 It's just creeps in trucks.
或許你全力學習獲得好成績 Maybe if you buckle down and get good grades,
老爸就會給你錢了 Dad will give you money.
老爸有沒有因為你成績好 Does he give you money
而給你錢 for getting good grades?
多年來我一直都在編家譜 I've been doing the family's books for years.
各取所需罷了 I take what I need.
你是對的 老爸 You were right, Dad.
不向老師舉報幾米 在法語測試上作弊 By not telling the teacher that Jimmy cheated
就等於是我作弊 on the French test, it's like I cheated.
正如巴黎人所說 Well, as they say in Paris,
我車裡裝滿冰淇淋[法語] "Ma voiture est pleine de cr貓me glac茅e."
你剛說的是 我車裡裝滿冰淇淋 You just said, "My car is full of ice cream."
老爸 如果我數學測驗得了個A Dad, if I get an "A" On my math test,
你會有所表示嗎 would that be worth some money?
在第二季 當山姆得了好成績時 Well, in season two, when Sam got good grades,
他得到個出乎意料的獎勵 he got a very surprising reward.
如果你也能這樣 兒子 And if you do it, son,
你也可以得到同樣獎勵 you'll get the same.
沒有什麼獎勵比 There's no way that means anything
一輛迷你機車更激動人心了 other than I get a minibike.
向圖書館進軍 To the library!
操場幽靈 Aah! 'Tis the playground ghost!
我發誓我不是故意要殺你的 I swear I didn't mean to kill ya!
是我 威利 巴仔•辛普森 It's me, Willie-- Bart Simpson
這樣啊 Oh, oh, right.
沒有什麼操場幽靈的事 There's no such thing as a playground ghost.
你這傢伙怎麼可以把他誤認成我 How could you mistake him for me?
首先讓你喪命的就是你那張破嘴 It was that sassy mouth that got ye killed in the first place.
即將在"電視小鎮"播出的是 Coming up next on Tube Town:
它從外太空來到你面前 he's in your face from outer space--
達屋的阿浦星人 Upscalien in Da House!
曾經有個外星人 There once was an alien
他媽媽叫他特雷 whose mother called him Trey.
來自銀河系最夢幻的星球 From the fanciest planet in the Milky Way
偷了父親的飛船 踏上旅程 Stole his dad's ship, took it for a trip.
雷達上看見伊利湖 Saw Lake Erie on his radar and
於是決定遊會兒泳 he thought he'd take a dip.
我做到了 我得了A了 I did it. I got an "A"!
太棒了 That's great.
老爸 我們可以談一談獎勵嗎 Uh, Dad, if we could get to the reward...?
兒子 你已經得到獎勵了 Son, you already have your reward--
只有刻苦努力才能獲得的成就感 the feeling of accomplishment you can only get from hard work.
什麼 What the...?!
我要迷你機車 I wanted a minibike!
我告訴所有夥伴我馬上要有一輛了 I told all my friends I was getting one.
如果他們這麼在意 Well, if they care that much
你是否有迷你機車的話 about whether you have a minibike,
他們就不是你真正的朋友 then they weren't really your friends.
他們曾經是 Yes, they were!
但以後不再是了 But now they won't be!
因為我沒有迷你機車 Because I don't have a minibike!
如果這是電視節目的話 Hmm, if this were a TV show,
將是非常可怕的表演紕漏 that would be a hell of an act break.
不過可以使用按鈕 But it could use a button.
我這麼說怎麼樣 Oh, well, what if I said...
如果你 Well, if you...
現在回到《我失去了露西》節目 We now return to I Lost Lucy.
卡邦克夫人 我需要你回到銀行 Mrs. Carbuncle, I need you back at the bank.
羅伯特•瓦格納[美國演員] 來開活期存款帳戶了 Robert Wagner is coming in to open a checking account.
電視節目上偶爾還能看到那只烏鴉 Yah still see that crow on shows sometimez.
"電視小鎮"將要播出的是 Coming up on Tube Town:
八十年代的經典 《考特尼大法官》 the '80s classic, Supreme Courtney.
根據 基礎不存在 上層機構也不能存在的原則 ...according to the principle sublato fundamento, cadit opus,
法律術語
我們需要參考哈格羅夫 狀告紐約州的案子 we need to look at Hargrove vs The State of New York,
指08年一樁關於人身傷害的案件
那裡的法庭堅決遵守 in which the court firmly adhered to the...
蠢蛋 Stupid jerk.
他欠我一輛小型機車 我一定會得到的 He owes me a minibike, and I am going to get it.
阿普 Hey, Apu.
侯默先生 您不小心 Mr. Homer, you inadvertently left
把您的核電站安全證 落在生日賀卡架上了 your nuclear plant security badge in the birthday card rack.
這東西可不能丟 Can't lose that.
上面的寸照最有型了 It's the best picture of me I have.
我更擔心國際恐怖主義 Well, I am more concerned with global terrorism.
美國的敵人會不惜一切代價 America's enemies would give anything
獲取你所知道的核資訊 for your nuclear knowledge.
是 我確實知道很多核資訊 Yeah, I do know a lot about nuclears.
美國的敵人太多了 比如伊朗 伊拉克 And America has so many enemies: Iran, Iraq,
中國 魔多[《魔戒》中 黑暗魔王索倫的管轄地] China, Mordor,
搞垮老虎•伍茲的辣妹們 the hoochies that laid low Tiger Woods,
不良移民 我要強調的是 undesirable immigrants, by which I mean
每個人都可能找我索要資訊 包括我的子女 everyone that came after me, including my children...
因此我願向貴國提供核能機密 ...So I'm offering to trade your country nuclear secrets
以迷你機車作為酬勞 for a minibike.
敬上 巴仔•辛普森 Concludingly yours, Bart Simpson.
中國白宮 中國總統收
美國辣妹鎮 各種辣妹收
中國白宮 中國總統收
伊朗白宮 伊朗總統收
伊拉克白宮 伊拉克總統收
電視指南 1986年9月8日 血濃於水
馬姬 你想不想要 《血濃於水》的收藏版呢 Marge, would you like a Thicker Than Waters collectible plate?
侯默 你不能從那本 雜誌上訂任何東西了 Homer, you can't order anything from that magazine.
那是二十五年前的了 It's 25 years old.
是嗎 我訂一個給你瞧瞧 Oh, yeah? I'll show you.
"一本電視指南 一個世貿中心..." "TV Guide Offer, One World Trade Center..."
老媽 有我的郵件嗎 Did I get any mail today, Mom?
當然有了 Uh, well, of course you did.
水槽清洗贈券 A gutter cleaning coupon?
那也是你的水槽嘛 Hey, they're your gutters, too.
中情局
你們肯定發現我的信了 You must've found out about my letters.
開開玩笑而已 They were just a joke.
是嗎 這可不好了 Really? That's too bad.
因為我們對你的請求很有興趣 Because we are very interested in your offer.
中情局
中國駐美情報局
你真該感到萬幸 Uh, you're just lucky we picked you up
我們搶在聯邦調查局之前找到你了 before the FBI got to you.
聯邦調查局
真是法國調查局又一奇恥大辱 Another disgrace for the French Bureau of Investigation.
別忘了我們 芬蘭天龍特攻隊 Don't forget us, the A-Team of Finland.
ATF可作"酒精 煙草 與火器管理局"的縮寫
我為那個惹毛B.A•巴克斯托姆 的傻逼感到遺憾 I pity the fool who messes with B.A. Backstrom.
戲仿天龍特攻隊中 "B.A•巴拉克斯"的名字
我們接受你的要求 We accept your offer.
同意以一輛街霸迷你機車 The secrets from your father's nuclear plant
換取你父親在核電站的情報 for one Street Assassin minibike.
記得把情報都拷到這個優盤裡 Just transfer everything to this flash drive.
我迷糊了 I don't know.
我真的可以背叛國家嗎 Can I really betray my country?
我天天宣誓效忠我的國家呢 I say the Pledge of Allegiance every day.
你對著國旗宣誓的 You pledge allegiance to the flag.
國旗都是中國製造 And the flag is made in China.
歡迎繼續收看《血濃於水》 We return to "Thicker Than Waters,"
真實的好萊塢軼事 the E! True Hollywood Story."
扮演派翠克的迪格比•謝裡丹 Digby Sheridan, who played Patrick,
對這部劇集非常不滿 had enormous problems with the show.
垃圾 全是垃圾 Crap, total crap.
你 編劇 你叫什麼 You, writer, what's your name?
大衛•馬梅 [美國當代著名劇作家] Um, David Mamet.
馬梅先生 你[和諧] Well, Mr. Mamet, why don't you *fucking* learn
怎麼[和諧]就不學著點 好好寫[和諧]劇本呢 how *the fuck* to write a *fucking* script!
[和諧]
這個可以用 I could use that.
《拜金一族》曾獲普利策獎
拜金一族
第一幕
老爸 我想了想 你說得對 Dad, I was thinking about it, and you're right.
我自己沒努力獲得的不該要你買 You shouldn't buy me something I didn't earn.
因為你已給予我嚴厲的父愛 And because you gave me the tough love
我都沒發現其實這才是我要的 I didn't know I needed, I'm gonna be spending
我以後會多多陪伴在你身邊 lots and lots more time with you.
他相信了 He's buying it.
我相信了 I'm buying it!
*珍惜家人的微笑* Cherish that family smile.
*家庭隔閡終會消失* Picket fence days don't last forever.
*新的一天即將到來* The future is coming up.
*父母及子女才是最寶貴的* Mom and Dad And kids are precious.
真高興能來參觀你工作 老爸 I love visiting you at work, Dad.
我也很高興你在這裡陪我 兒子 And I love having you here, son.
要是有人來了 你可以叫醒我 'Cause you can wake me up if somebody comes.
高度保密
來看看這個 巴仔 Check this out, Bart.
這些視網膜掃描可厲害了 One of those retinal scan dealies.
只識別我的眼睛 或者是特別精確的副本 It only opens to my eye or an exact copy.
來試試這個湊不湊效 Let's see if this works.
檢測到冒名視網膜
媽的 疼死了 Ooh! Damn, that hurt!
還是用眼睛好了 I'll just use my eye.
做個好夢 孩子 Sweet dreams, boy.
希望能夢到你 老爸 They will be if you're in 'em, Pops.
春田動物園 已閉園
熊貓展區 禁止要求熊貓耍功夫
他們還給我上了牌照 Aw, they gave me my own vanity plate.
你肯定會喜歡我的朋友們 You're gonna love meeting my friends.
那玩意兒到底從哪冒出來的 Where the hell did that come from?
是我買的 兒子 It's from me, son.
想讓我把它放在你的床上嗎 Want me to take it up to your bed
這樣你就能緊緊摟著它 so you can snuggle with it?
不要 No!
到底為什麼你要給我買這個 Why in the world would you get me this?
因為你最近表現得實在太好了 Because you've been such a great kid lately,
我想告訴你我非常滿意 and I wanted to show you I appreciated it.
很棒啊 That's great.
早知我就不用它去交換中國茶葉了 I wouldn't trade it for all the tea in... China...
出什麼事了嗎 巴仔 Something wrong, Bart?
你無緣無故地就背叛了你的國家 You betrayed your country for no reason.
這下你要永遠看著星條旗了 Now you're gonna see stars and stripes forever!
我買了個西葫蘆 I've got summer squash!
那小子行為古怪啊 Mm, the boy's acting really weird.
那個電視節目讓我做的我都做了 I did everything that TV show told me to,
但他還是不高興 and he's still not happy.
也許你不該聽從一個隻在電視中 Well, maybe you shouldn't listen to a 30-year-old TV show
播出的三十年前的老節目 that only got on the air
因為作者有理由相信 'cause the creator had evidence
網路總裁撞死一個人 the network president ran over a guy.
他要去哪 Where's he going?
為什麼一個小孩要來動物園 Why on earth would a child go to the zoo?
它還在 太棒了 It's still here. Yes!
我把優盤和馬尼拉紙的 信封都拿回來了 I get the flash drive back and the manila envelope!
典型的美國人背信棄義的做法 Aha! Typical American treachery!
我真不敢相信一個 背叛自己國家的男孩 I can't believe a boy who would betray his country
會背叛另一個國家 would betray a different country.
難以置信啊 Unbelievable!
太可怕了 Terrible!
老大們 我能解釋 Masters, I can explain.
什麼都別解釋了 Explain nothing!
把優盤拿過來 Hand over the flash drive.
既然這樣我們別無選擇 Then you leave us no choice.
泰迪熊 A teddy bear?!
是中國製造的泰迪熊 A teddy bear made in China.
狗糧 中國製造
離這個賣國賊遠點 Step away from the traitor!
老爸 Dad!
優盤也許在他肚子裡 The boy's flash drive may be in there,
但我腦袋裡有所有的核機密 but I've got a lifetime of nuclear secrets up here.
好吧 但別讀我們的對白字幕 Okay, but don't read our subtitles.
我們可以找個像樣的核專家來呀 [這三位你們到底從哪來的啊]
他那麼胖 我看他得占兩個機位
如果我們給他買個頭等艙 他還可以把好吃的送過來給我們那
可是我們能信得過 他會把好吃的送過來嗎
我知道你們在說什麼 I know what you're saying.
我明白所有語言中關於食物的說法 I understand food talk in every language!
美國胖子 是你的知識 幫我們建造了這個核電站 American fatso, your knowledge helped us build this plant.
我們希望你能為 We would like you to have the honor
落成儀式剪綵 of cutting the ceremonial ribbon.
我自己走 不用送了 Um, I'll see myself out.
誰能以少於20塊 的價錢送我到機場 Okay, who can take me to the airport for less than $20?
我能一整天都站在這裡 I can stand here all day.
我腳疼 Oh, my feet hurt.
老爸 和你一起玩兒的那段時間 You know, Dad, I really did have
我真的很快樂 a good time hanging out with you.
到了用最佳方法 拉近父子關係的時候了 Well, now it's time for the best kind of bonding--
靜靜地坐在彼此身邊 sitting next to each other in silence,
傻傻地盯著電視 什麼都不想 staring blankly at the TV.
他們總是打架 打得熱火朝天 They fight and fight, they fight and fight and fight
打啊打啊打啊 Fight-fight-fight, fight-fight-fight!
傻貓和壞鼠
傻貓和壞鼠之蜜蜂風波
吸 吹
非常好 It's good enough.
下班回家 Let's go home.
麗蓓嘉 你曾心血來潮 Rebecca, you briefly inspired
把自己的頭型叫做"莉齊" the hairstyle called "The Lizzie."
"莉齊"今晚在這裡嗎 Is "The Lizzie" With us here tonight?
我曾明確地告訴你們這些人 I was clear with your people
我不會重現"莉齊"那樣的髮型 that I would not recreate "The Lizzie."
但"莉齊"在這裡 Oh, but "The Lizzie" Is here.
"我不能因為我的舞伴坐在輪椅裡 "I shouldn't judge my prom date
"就對他妄加評論 "Just because he's in a wheelchair.
我應該根據他這個人來評價他" I should judge him by who he is in here."
家人擁抱在一起 The family hugs.
真噁心 Ew.
我和劇組裡的人 都睡過 包括那只狗 I slept with everyone in the cast, including the dog.
引用《老友記》裡馬修•派瑞的話 To quote Matthew Perry from Friends,
"你說的太多了" "Too much information."
引用《什麼事在發生》裡道恩的話 And to quote Dwayne from What's Happening,
兩者都是美劇
"嘿 嘿 嘿 " "Hey... Hey... Hey."
*珍惜家人的微笑* Cherish that family smile.
*家庭隔閡那什麼什麼* Picket fence days don't something-something
*新的一天即將到來* The future is coming soon.
*父母和孩子才是那什麼* Mom and Dad and kids. Are something.
現在是我最喜歡的曲子 My favorite song now.
來一首《不要畏懼死亡》 Sorry, "Don't Fear The Reaper."
大家來個彈吉他的動作 Everybody! Air guitar!
和我一起做 Come on, do it with me.
來個搖把顫音 大家顫起來吧 Use your whammy bar! Whoo! Now fuzz it up!
很好 Excellent.