片名：女性瘾者（第二部）
你有什么事吗？ Can I help you ?
我们得把故事往回倒一点儿 I have to go back a bit.
那时我12岁 I was 12 years old
学校组织爬山 and on a school trip in the hills.
你在逗我？ Are you making fun of me?
怎么了？ What do you mean?
你就那么高潮了？ You have this orgasm, not only an orgasm,
是的 我高潮了 - but a spontaneous orgasm. - Yes, it was an orgasm,
虽然医生只是说 though the doctor described it as a--
那是突然的癫痫发作 an epileptic seizure.
然后在你高潮的时候 And during that orgasm,
你看到了幻象？ you have this vision
这么两个女人在你左右 of these two women on each side of you?
她是这样,用两个指头拿住自己面纱的吗？ Was she holding the veil with two fingers like this?
怎么？ What's the matter?
你根本不知道 这两个女人是谁吧？ You don't even you don't even know who these women were, do you?
不 不过其中一个长得很像圣母玛利亚 No, but one of them did look like the virgin Mary,
既然你提到 Now that you mention it.
我可以肯定地告诉你 那不是圣母玛利亚 Well, it wasn't the virgin Mary, I can tell you that.
根据你的描述 那肯定是 From your description, it must've been
麦瑟琳娜 valeria messalina,
她是克劳狄斯皇帝的妻子 the wife of emperor claudius,
是历史上知名的性瘾者 the most notorious nymphomaniac in history.
而另一位则是 And the other woman,
臭名昭著的 the one astride the creature,
巴比伦娼妇 娼恶之母 that was no one else but the great whore of Babylon
骑在一头像野牛一样的怪兽身上 riding on nimrod in the form of a bull.
你刚说的 就好像是 Your story is like a...
一个渎神版本的 Blasphemous retelling
在变化山上的基督的故事 of the transfiguration of Jesus on the mount...
那是东正教会 Which is one of the eastern church's
最神圣的故事之一 holiest passages.
讲述的是基督的人性 It's when the humanity of Christ
被圣洁之光永恒照耀 is illuminated by the divine light of eternity.
如果有人给我讲这个故事 If anyone else would have told me that story,
我会只把它看作是一个渎神的小笑话 I would've seen it as a blasphemous joke,
而不是把圣经和像你这样 spiced up with a biblical light
临时起意的高潮联系起来 emanating from nothing less than a spontaneous orgasm.
而之后 你所有的高潮感觉 全部消失了 And then later, you lost your orgasm altogether.
瓦格纳的《莱茵的黄金》 Wagner. Das rheingold,
深陷尼伯龙根 the descent into nibelheim.
这样不好吗？ Was it that bad?
你试想一下 如果在一瞬间 Try to imagine that in one fell swoop,
你失去了所有阅读的欲望 you lost all desire to read
你所拥有的那些对书本和知识的热情也消散了 and all your love and passion for books and letters.
我都不知道自己是否能想像 I don't even know if I can imagine that.
这其实就像是芝诺悖论 This is nothing less than zeno's paradox.
你就是阿喀琉斯 You are achilles
追不上的那只龟 就是性高潮 and the tortoise is the orgasm.
你又来了 Oh, come on.
因为你在追寻 Because you were giving chase,
但又得不到满足 这就是个悖论 you couldn't reach satisfaction. That's the paradox.
不好意思 但似乎你不认真看待这件事 I'm sorry, but it seems as if you're not taking this very seriously.
我现在讲述的是我人生中最糟糕的事 I'm telling you about the worst thing that's happened to me,
我...在某天,仿佛是片刻之间 that I, at that point within seconds,
我失去了所有的性觉 lost all sexual sensation.
我的阴道就这么麻木了 My cunt simply went numb!
而我却要在这里 And immediately we have to hear
听你讲述荒唐的数学理论 about this ridiculous mathematical problem.
说实话 我都不确定 In fact, I'm in doubt whether
你是不是在听 you're even listening.
为什么？ Why do you doubt that?
当我给其他男人讲述这些经历 Whenever I've told other men about experiences,
这些关于我性爱生活的片段时 episodes in my sex life,
我很容易就能看出他们很兴奋 it was easy to see that they became quite excited.
我很兴奋啊 I got excited.
是啊 你是因为那些数字理论而兴奋 Yes, about the mathematical crap,
不是因为我的故事 not about the story.
你到底是什么样的人？ What kind of a person are you actually?
我... I...
你不会知道的 You wouldn't know.
嗯 但是我总可以猜到吧 No, but I can guess.
为什么早些时候我就没看出来呢？ Why didn't I get that earlier?
你对我的性故事不感兴趣的原因 The fact you don't get excited over my dirty stories
是因为 你不知道那是什么感觉 is because you can't relate to them.
你从来没有和女人做过爱 You've never been with a woman.
是的... That's quite accurate.
我也没和男人做过 Not with a man either.
你感到遗憾吗？ Are you sorry about that?
嗯...有点吧 Well yeah, but...
我的所有好奇 Out of curiosity.
都不是因性而起 就像你想像的那样 Not out of lust, as you would think.
我认为我自己 I consider myself... Asexual.
是无性恋者 当然 Of course I... Experimented
少年时 我也体验过打手枪 但是... with masturbation when I was a teenager, but...
但是我并没有很高潮的感觉 It didn't do much for me.
所以 我没有什么性觉和性生活 So there's nothing sexual about me.
这不像你想像的那样不正常 It's not as uncommon as you would think.
还有 And of course I've--
我也读过很多关于性的读物 I've read a lot about sexual subjects:
《坎特伯雷故事集》 《十日谈》 "Canterbury tales," "decameron,"
《一千零一夜》 "thousand and one nights."
你能想到的我都读过 You name it
而且我读得津津有味 很享受 and I've read it with great interest and enjoyment...
当然只是享受文字的魅力 But only literary enjoyment.
但我认为这点也让我 But I-- but I think maybe it makes me
成为你的故事更好的听众 a better listener to your story.
因为我没有个人喜好 I have no preconceived notions or--
和偏见 or preferences.
事实上 我是你的故事最好的裁判 I'm actually the best judge you could give your story to.
当轮到我去评论 And when it comes to deciding whether you're
你是否是个坏人时 a bad human being or not, I'm--
我不会有任何个人倾向 I have no problems with that.
因为我不会戴着有色眼镜 Because I don't look at you through the glasses
以性别或性经历 colored by sexuality
这个角度来看你 or sexual experience.
我是个处男 I'm a virgin.
是个局外人 I'm innocent.
她在盯着我看 She's looking at me.
是的 Yes.
是一幅圣像 It's an icon.
是俄罗斯的吗？ Is it Russian?
是的 Yes, it's--
这是很精良的一个复制品 it's a skilled copy,
可能是鲁勃廖夫的 maybe in the manner of rublev.
这样的圣像 一般都被同东正教会联系起来 Icons are usually connected to the eastern church.
东正教会？ The eastern church?
我能说的理论点吗？ I might become a bit theoretical.
好 You may.
我想要你给我讲这张图 I'd like you to tell me about your picture.
基督教 Although the Christian church
在1054年因为意见不同而分裂 was split up in 1054 because of differences in opinion
成为“东教”和“西教” between the eastern church and the Western church--
也就是我们如今所说的“东正教会” what we today call the orthodox church
和“罗马教会” and the Roman catholic church.
我这个 就是一尊 典型的 东正教会的圣像 This is a typical eastern church icon.
它们通常描绘 And it usually depicts the virgin Mary
圣母玛利亚和其圣子 and the infant Jesus, and more rarely,
很少有其受难内容的画像 for instance, the crucifixion,
而在罗马教会圣像中 受难的画像更普遍 which in the Western church was much more prevalent.
如果概括一下 就可以说 If you generalize, you could say that
“西教”就是受难 the Western church is the church of suffering,
而“东教”则是愉悦 and the eastern church is the church of happiness.
想像一下从罗马到东部的精神旅程 If you imagine a mental journey from Rome eastward,
就感觉自己在 you feel how you move away
迷途的内疚和痛苦中前行 直至找到愉悦和圣光 from guilt and pain towards joy and light.
你不是说你不信教嘛？ But you say you didn't believe in God.
不 但是宗教的概念很有趣呀 No, but the concept of religion is interesting...
就像性的概念一样 Like the concept of sex.
但是我当然不会去跪拜某一个教会 But you won't find me on my knees with the regards to either.
那就让我们把下一章叫做... Let's call this chapter,
"东教和西教"吧 um, "the eastern church and the Western church."
但这故事不是.. But it won't be-- it won't be a story
不会是从罗马到东方 about traveling east from Rome
寻找光明 而恰恰是相反的 towards the light, but rather the opposite.
所以 为了让它 听起来不那么可悲 So in order not to make it too sad,
我决定给这章加一个副标题 I've pepped up the name of the chapter with an extra title.
第六章 从东方教会到西方教会 （沉默的鸭子）
尽管在我的各种努力下 In spite of my tireless efforts,
我的阴道还是没有感觉 my cunt totally failed to respond.
但是我们两人达到了一种状态: I have to admit there came a time
像情侣一样在一起 很开心 when we had fun together.
我跟你赌五块钱 I'll give you a fiver...
嗯？ Uh-huh.
赌你不敢把这个勺子 ...if you can put this
塞进你的阴道 up inside your cunt.
五块钱？ A fiver?
是的 Right.
天啊 Shit.
谢谢 Thank you.
不客气 You're welcome.
- 没给你们勺子吗？ - 没有 - Didn't get any spoons? - No, we didn't.
在那段时间里最奇怪的事情就是 The most grotesque thing was that it was during that period
虽然所有性高潮的感觉 都离我而去 where every sexual sensation was denied me--
但是 我得承认 a period, I must admit,
我得到了,舒适 安全 和家庭的平静 of secure and restful domestic comfort--
我和Jerome同居了 we had moved in together and so on--
我怀孕了 that I became pregnant,
因为我停掉了避孕药 because I was careless about my birth control pills.
也说不上来是不是刻意 Consciously or unconsciously,
我选择了剖腹产 it was important for me to have a caesarean.
并希望自己的阴道可以恢复 应有的感觉 I mean, I was hoping that my cunt was going to fucking work again,
我觉得顺产 and I had a feeling that
似乎对我的阴道没好处 a haphazard birth wouldn't make things better.
有可能是我想多了 I may have been imagining things,
但是当我躺在那儿时 but as I lay there the noise from the instruments
那些器具的声音就仿佛是 rang out in a chord like
当时我们的性友团体的主题音乐 the one from the little flock.
是的 Yes.
我并不感到恐惧 And it wasn't fear.
而是被恶心到了 More like a kind of disgust.
我发誓 我看到我初生的孩子露出了笑容 I could've sworn I saw him laughing.
发笑的孩童 A laughing son?
《浮士德》中 托马斯说诺亚的儿子出生 In "doctor faustus," Thomas mann describes the birth of Noah's son ham,
他就是初生时带着笑容 who was laughing when he was born.
这是又一个魔鬼的恶兆 Another satanic omen.
顺便说 这名无辜的孩子 被起名为 Marcel Incidentally, the innocent child was named marcel,
他的名字来源于Mars 罗马战神 after Mars, the Roman God of war.
你身为人母了 And motherhood?
我猜这就是被称为最永恒的爱 I assume maternal love
并不像期待中那样美好 didn't quite live up to its expectations.
不 我本就没什么期待 No, I didn't have any expectations.
母爱对我倒不是问题 And maternal love wasn't a problem.
只是每次 It was just that each time
当我望着儿子的眼睛时 I looked into the child's eyes,
我都会感到不安 I had this unsettling feeling
有一种被发现的感觉 of having been found out.
我知道这样有些奇怪 I know it's probably a strange thing
为什么会这样说一个小孩 to say about a child--
但我感觉自己付出的爱没有得到回报 that my love wasn't being returned--
这就是我看事情的角度 but it was my perception.
若Jerome感到性不能再让他愉悦 If Jerome had hoped for a break
而只是沉重的负担的话 from what was for him now mostly strenuous work,
他便可以选择遗忘 he could forget about it.
填满我所有的“洞穴” Fill all my holes.
我不行了 Joe I can't, Joe.
对不起 I'm sorry.
我们谈谈吧？ Can we talk about it?
好呀 Of course.
我爱你 我爱你的狂野和欲望 I love you, I love your wildness and your desire.
可现在,我却不能像想像中那样满足你 At the moment I don't seem to satisfy you in the way that I'd like to.
不要担心 Joe 我们的性爱还会继续 Don't get upset, Joe. It doesn't mean we won't continue with our sex life,
我们的性爱生活对于我来说非常重要 which is very important to me.
非常重要 Very important to me.
当你养了一只老虎 Mmm, when you buy a tiger,
你总要喂饱她吧？ right? You also have to feed it.
要满足她 Um, satisfy it,
对吧？ Right ?
长话短说 就是 Long story short:
现在 你就是我养的那只老虎 I have a tiger on my hands.
- 你是说 我要求太多了？ - 不是的 - You mean I'm too much for you. - No.
你就是这样的 You're just the way you should be.
我只是想请你考虑一下 I was just thinking if you would consider
你是否可以找人 帮我分担一下这样的需求 that I get a little help with the feeding, that's all.
你是说 我需要和其他人做爱来满足自己？ You're saying I should have sex with others as well.
Joe 这么说太残忍了 但是... That's a rather cruel way of putting it, Joe, but...
- 但是很确切 - 很确切 - But exact. - ...Exact.
很久以来我都在考虑着 For a long time I'd been playing around
什么时候 我的性感装束可以 with the idea that the concept of the fuck-me-now clothes
更进一步 could be improved...
很漂亮 You look nice.
我装扮成了“钢琴教师” ...and became the piano teacher.
你还好吗？ You okay?
不好 No.
怎么了 What's the matter?
我不太懂车 ？ Well, I'm such an idiot with cars.
不会修 你能帮帮我吗 I don't really know what to do. Do you mind helping me?
这样当然会坏了 Well, of course it won't work.
点火器怎么被拔了 Sparkplug caps have been removed.
啊 是我拔的 Yes, I did that.
这样不对吗？ Was that wrong?
这是我第一次高兴地拥有一辆 For the first time I had
八个汽缸的车 the pleasure of having an 8-cylinder car.
所以它的火花塞,就是八个 The possible combinations of eight spark-plug caps
它的插口可能会有四万零三百二十个 on eight spark plugs are 40,320,
如果我没记错的话 if I remembered my math correctly.
其中只有一个 And only one of these
会让车重新开起来 will make the car run,
这样我就有足够的时间 which gave me all the time I needed.
这是贝多芬？ Beethoven, huh?
他挺棒的 不过 He was certainly very good, but, you know,
- 他写不来赋格曲 - 你这么想？ - he couldn't write a fugue. - You think so?
嗯... Well...
是的 我觉得是 Yeah, I think so.
更准确的说法是 贝多芬他 It would be more precise to say that Beethoven
改良了赋格曲 renewed the fugue...
不过那些支持巴赫的唯粉们 But he was such a visionary that the old bach purists,
会指责他专业不精 they accused him of not mastering it.
今天过得很开心吧？ Good day?
现在 要说到 And now to reach the heart
“西教”受难的核心部分 of your suffering Western church,
就必须往前跳三年 I have to jump ahead three years in the story
我要说到我和那些人的会面 and talk about my meeting
我把他们叫作 with what I would call
"危险的人" "the dangerous men."
那段时间家里大多时候 都只有我和Marcel I was alone with marcel a lot during this period,
因为Jerome总是在四处旅行 as Jerome was traveling most of the time.
当他在家时 And when he was finally home,
他就会怪我 怪我不管Marcel he spent most of the time accusing me of neglecting marcel,
我心里清楚 which in my opinion
他这样说只是因为气我和别人做爱 was just a cover for his anger over my lovers.
任何性满足 更别提高潮了 Any sexual satisfaction, let alone orgasm,
都更加深入了 was further away than ever before.
我得做出改变 I had to make a change.
而 莫名其妙地 我想要的改变 And somehow the inspiration had been right there
就一直在我的窗户外面 beneath my window the whole time.
我光是想像一下 I could feel that it turned me on enormously
语言不通的性爱 to imagine a sexual situation
就会感到兴奋 in which verbal communication was impossible.
你好 - Hello. - Hello.
我是Tobias 口译 I'm Tobias, the interpreter.
你好 我是Joe 请进 Hello, I'm Joe. Come in.
你是非洲语言的专家吗？ I understand that you master the African languages.
是的 我有这方面基础 I do have a basis.
你要我翻译给谁？ Who and what needs interpretation?
那个男的 Um, that man...
穿绿色夹克的那个 The one with the green jacket?
你去问问 他愿不愿意和我性交 You are to ask him if he wants to have sex with me.
好... Yeah? Um...
他同意了？ Is it a go?
不好说... It's hard to say.
他写下了时间地点 I've written down the time and the place,
但是... but, um...
说实话 你们这种... Honestly I wouldn't like to take responsibility
我不太想为这种交流负责 for the precise wording in this case,
我觉得 which I think, uh,
这就是我职业中的 accidentally may belong
灰色地带 to a grey zone in my profession.
那是一个很廉价的小旅馆地址 It was the address of a cheap hotel.
怎么会有两个人？ Why were there two?
我也这么想的 My words exactly.
很显然 N带着自己的兄弟一起来了 Apparently n had brought his brother along.
非常 非常 非常 抱歉 Very sorry. Sorry sorry sorry.
他们生什么气呢 ? Why was he so angry?
很显然那是他们自己的事 Clearly it was something personal between them,
但后来我知道了 理想的3P but later I heard that performing a sandwich
要有很好的敏感度 requires great sensitivity,
对男人来说 since the men apparently can feel each other through the tissue.
他们能通过我的器官感受到彼此 I imagine the quarrel had already started
我可以想像到那时他们的争吵就已经开始 on the stairs and that one or the other party
他们其中一个 将我的器官作为战场 had laid claim to one or the other of my holes
和他的黑鬼兄弟 起了冲突 in conflict with his negro brother's interests.
你不应该用那个词 You shouldn't use that word.
不该用歧视性的字眼表达 It's not what you call politically correct--
- "黑鬼" - 不好意思 - "negro." - Well, excuse me,
但在我的圈子里 but in my circles
以事物的本来面貌称呼 是很荣耀的 it's always been a mark of honor to call a spade a spade.
每当有一个敏感词被禁 Each time a word becomes prohibited,
就好像是拿走了一块民主的基石 you remove a stone from the Democratic foundation.
社会在面对某些问题时 Society demonstrates its impotence
展示了它的无能 in the face of a concrete problem
它们只会禁止某些词语的使用 by removing words from the language.
我想 社会上所声称 I think society would claim that--
“政治正确”只是一种对弱势群体 that politically correctness is a very precise expression
表面上的民主关怀的表达 of Democratic concern for minorities.
那我会说 And I say that society
社会这个整体 is as cowardly as the people in it,
就像它其中的人民一样懦弱 who in my opinion are also too stupid for democracy.
我明白你的观点 但我不能苟同 I understand your point, but I totally disagree.
我对人类的品质没有疑虑 I have no doubt in the human qualities.
人类的品质 The human qualities
用一个词就能表达： can be expressed in one word:
虚伪 Hypocrisy.
他们赞扬那些说的漂亮,但其实错误的人 We elevate those who say "right" but mean "wrong"
并嘲笑那些说话难听,但实际正确的人 and mock those who say "wrong" but mean "right."
顺便说 我能确定 By the way, i can assure you
那些说黑人不让人兴奋的女人 that women who claim that negros don't turn them on,
- 都是骗子 - 他们满足你了？ - they're lying. - So did they satisfy you?
那些..那些黑鬼？ Those ne-negros?
没有 No.
但是他们让我懂得 外面还有一片更大的世界 But they showed me that there was a world
值得我去探索 far from mine I had to explore.
然后 或许在这里 又或许在彼处 And there, or perhaps on the other side,
我可以把我的生活找回来 get my life back.
你是谁？ Who are you?
我知道你是干什么的 I know what you do.
我想成为 I'd like to be
那些女人中的一员 one of the women you see.
我没兴趣 That's of no interest.
女士 Madame.
公主 Princess,
我明说了 五天 I specifically said five days,
五天还没过 and five days haven't gone yet.
所以 So...
你还是走吧 You'll have to leave.
对不起 I'm sorry.
我... I, um--
我觉得这不适合你 I don't think this is for you.
这么神秘 How mysterious.
你要给出个合理的解释吗 Will you give me a reasonable explanation now
还是就这么等着 or shall we wait?
我给不出解释 I can't give you an explanation,
这也完全不合理 and certainly not a reasonable...
他是干什么的？ What exactly were the rumors about him?
他很“暴力” That he was violent.
那有怎么会让你兴奋呢？ How can that be inciting?
我觉得你要这样想就容易理解些： I think the easiest way to understand it
因为这是我叛逆的本性 is to refer to my rebellious nature.
K所做的 This business of k's was
是我完全反对的 something I was completely against.
所以 我现在联系他 So the fact that I was now contacting him was
是一个绝望的最后尝试 a last, desperate attempt
我想找回我的性觉 to rehabilitate my sexuality.
我觉得K的方法很重要 The system was the overriding factor with k.
暴力么？ A system of violence?
好吧 你是不是 Well, you were the one
坚持“受难”的理论？ who insisted on the Western church, right?
而且我...我好像记得 And I-- I seem to remember
这种所谓的“受难” that the systematic approach
不应该是一种受虐爱好 to the crucifixion is of a violent
而是人的本性吧 and not to say sadistic nature.
是的 耶稣受难的故事中 Oh yes, the passion of Christ
充满了暴力 is full of systematic violence--
那条著名的 "苦路" the via dolorosa,
背负着十字架的九站 the nine stations of the cross
还有39鞭刑 and the 39 lashes.
你开始让我感到厌烦了 You are beginning to irritate me.
起来 Stand up.
然后我要打你的脸 I just want you to sit
在这过程中 completely relaxed...
我要你完全放松 While I hit you in the face.
没有别的要求了 Nothing special.
就是... It's just a--
就是扇个耳光 it's just a slap.
你准备好了么？ Are you ready?
下面我就要来定规矩了 Let me tell you the rules then.
第一条 我不跟你做爱 The first rule is that I don't fuck you
而且 我们也不讨论性爱 and that there isn't any discussions about that.
那你怎么得到性快感 Then what do you get out of it?
那是我的问题 That's my business
而且我不想你再提这个问题 and I don't want you to mention it again.
第二条规矩 The second rule is that we have no safe word.
你的人身安全 我不负责 Meaning that if you, uh, go inside with me,
就是说 如果你跟我进了那屋 there is nothing that you can say
不管你干什么 都不能阻止我 that will make me stop
什么都不行 any plan or procedure.
你需要准备一根用过的 棕色皮鞭 You must bring a brown used leather riding crop.
不是那种在性用品商店里卖的 And not one from a shop selling sex toys.
不要那种性爱玩具 It's not a masquerade.
第三条: Third rule:
如果我...如果我让你来 If I choose to let you in,
你就只能先坐在这儿 you have to be sitting out here.
换句话说 就是 In other words, you--
你不会知道具体时间 you won't know when.
总之.. Only that it will be
就是半夜 sometime between...
两点到六点之间 2:00 and 6:00 at night.
我不能那么晚过来 I can't stay here that late.
我家保姆不是全天的... My babysitter's not reliable and...
我不能半夜丢下我儿子 I can't leave my child.
你连我的名字都不知道 You don't even know my name!
我对你的真名不感兴趣 I'm not interested in your name.
在这儿 你叫... Here your name is...
Fido. Fido.
Marcel醒了 Marcel's awake.
跟你妈妈说再见吧？ D'you want to say goodbye to your mom?
再见 Goodbye.
把你的大衣给我吧 I'll take your coat.
你还是把头发绑起来好些 I'd like you to have your hair up.
用这个 You can use this.
以防我可能... Just in case it becomes necessary for me
会要打你的脸 to hit you in the face.
我需要脱衣服吗？ Should I take my clothes off?
我会告诉你 I'll tell you what to do...
何时该做什么 And when.
现在 你靠在这里 Now you may bend down.
怎么？ How?
贴着椅子 Approach the chair.
把屁股翘起来 Now bend from the hips.
看前面 Look forward. Look forward.
把你的头抬起来 With your head up. Head up.
保持视线向前 Keep looking forward.
你可以起来了 You may stand up.
我们得用那个沙发 We have to use the couch.
过来 坐下 Come this way.
放松 放松 Take it easy, take it easy.
靠在沙发上 Bend over.
双手伸到前面来 Lay your arms out straight.
放松 Take it easy.
下次别穿内裤了 Next time don't wear knickers.
你的屁股不够高 Your ass is not high enough.
今天不行了 I don't think we can do this today.
什么？ What?
这周四我再见你吧 I'd like to see you again on Thursday.
有什么问题吗？ What's wrong?
我们周四再看看怎么办吧 I think we should see how it goes on Thursday.
你好 我现在不方便接听 Hi, I can't come to the phone right now.
请留言 Please leave a message.
你好 还是我 Marcel的妈妈 Yes, this is marcel's mother again.
现在都1点半了 Uh, it's now 1:30.
我们说好的 We had an agreement.
希望你能听到 尽快赶来 I hope you get this message and come as quickly as you can.
Marcel现在在睡觉 Uh, marcel is sleeping.
我真得走了 I have to go now.
挺好 Better.
这样好多了 Also so much better.
非常好 So much better.
现在我要打你12下 I am now going to hit you 12 times
不管你怎么喊 No matter how much you scream...
这里都不会有人听见的 ...'cause no one can hear you down here.
这样... That's, uh--
不是这么玩的 that's not how it goes.
大多数人都等我打到才尖叫的 Most people don't scream until I hit them.
马上 That's it.
谢谢 Thank you.
不客气 You're very welcome.
我不知道我们的性 I don't know where we get our sexuality from
或性欲这类东西 都是从哪来的 or where tendencies of this kind come from.
可能这是童年养成的变态习惯 Probably a perversion created in our childhood
只不过一直没有表现出来而已 that never manifested itself before.
嗯 奇怪的是 Well, oddly enough,
弗洛伊德提出了相反的理论 Freud says the opposite.
他提出了儿童性变态的多样化 He talks about the polymorphic perversion of a child.
也就是说 在儿童时期 Meaning that in a child,
有各种性变态想法存在 all kinds of perversions exist.
而人们利用童年这段时间 And then we use the childhood
来减弱并消除这些变态 to diminish or remove some of them.
基本来说 儿童就是个多重的性变态 Basically a child is sexually polymorphic
并且 任何事物对于儿童 都是性 and everything is sexuality in an infant.
不管怎么说 And yet it was deeply bizarre
躺在那 to lie there
尤其是我竟然愿意躺在那个地方 and especially to want to lie there.
感觉真够怪的 It is an interesting point that you actually lubricated
好像我在期待着 in expectation for a pain
自己从没经历过的疼痛、高潮和湿润 that you hadn't experienced.
那是身体自身的反应 Your body prepared itself
虽然你知道那不会发生，但你去是准备性交的 for an intercourse that you knew wouldn't happen.
我只能把它理解成一种性高潮 I can only describe the mood as sexual.
在他的抽打 As I twisted and turned
和我的扭动中 while he was whipping me,
我似乎感到那些绑着我的绳结是智能的 I could feel how clever his knots were.
如果我反抗的话 它们就会更紧 If I fought them, they would get tighter,
如果我放松 and as I relaxed,
他们就也松下来 it seemed they did too.
我不知道是什么样的绳结 I don't know what kind of knot
K所用的 k used...
但我知道一种结 But I know of a knot
你用力的话 它就会变紧 that tightens when force is exerted
反之亦然 叫作 普鲁士结 and vice versa. It's called a prusik knot.
这样命名是因为叫普鲁士的人，他喜好爬山 It's after a man called prusik. He was a Mountain climber.
有次他和朋友去爬山 And he and a friend were out climbing
发生了意外 and they had an accident
他的朋友不幸遇难 and his friend died.
而他则被困在一根绳上 And he ended up hanging at the end of a rope
完全爬不上去 with no possibility of getting up.
不可能沿着那个绳子爬上去的 You know, you can't climb up a Mountain-climber rope.
因为绳子太细了 It's too thin.
但是他很聪明 But he was an intelligent man,
他是个天才 and with his back to the wall he was a genius.
他将靴子上的鞋带拆下来 And he took the shoelaces out of his boots
打了两个环形结 再将它们绑在绳子上 and made two loops and affixed them to the rope.
这样分担压力 And he could move these up
他就可以爬上去了 when they weren't under tension.
这样他就可以踩着这两个环 And then he could step into them
爬上去 救了自己的命 and climb the rope and save himself.
普鲁士 Prusik.
我觉得这是你整个谈话中 最没意思的一个跑题了 I think this was one of your weakest digressions.
我能继续吗？ May I continue?
请便 Well, be my guest.
我有时候会送人们圣诞礼物 I sometimes give a Christmas present.
但...这个你得自己做 But, uh, you have to do the work yourself.
这叫“血绳结” This is called a blood knot.
需要有9根绳 You have to make nine ropes
每根绳子上要有三个这样的结 with three blood knots on each.
你做下 我看看 Let me see you do it.
你自己决定要不要绑四圈 You decide whether to make four,
五圈或六圈 five or six turns
这种结还可以绑更多圈 in the various knots.
Joe? Joe?
亲爱的们？ Hello.
Marcel? Marcel?
Marcel! Marcel!
你还爱我吗？ Are you fond of me still?
－ 当然 － 比爱你的性交对像们更爱我吗？ - Yes. - More fond of me than the others?
- 是吗？ - 是的 - Yes? - Yes.
你今晚不会又想出门吧？ You're not thinking of leaving again tonight, are you?
- 不 - 不走了吗？ - No. - No?
- 一点也不想 - 你确定？ - No no. Not at all. - Are you sure?
是的 Yeah.
你骗我吗 Joe? Are you lying to me, Joe?
- 没有 - 说实话 - No. - Be honest.
没关系的 It's all right.
怎么想的就怎么说 Just fucking say it.
不 我要呆在家里 No, I-- I just want to be here.
为什么？ Why?
我也不知道 I don't know.
如果今晚你再出门 If you leave tonight...
你就永远都不能再见到我和Marcel You'll never see me or marcel ever again in your life.
你明白吗？ Do you understand?
你这是在告别吗？ Is this goodbye?
你就是这个意思吗？ Is that what you're saying?
Marcel 起床了 Marcel, get up.
- 别说了 - 你想告别么？ - Stop it. - Is that what you want?
你现在还能见他 Here, so you could see him.
看看他 Joe Look at him, Joe.
承认吧 Joe 你不是个好妈妈 Let's face it, Joe, you're not a mother.
来 把他叫醒 Let's wake him up.
Marcel 宝贝儿 Marcel, baby boy,
跟你妈妈说再见 Say, "bye, mom."
- 快让他睡... - 你不是想告别吗？ - Please put him back. - Is this what you want?
－ 妈妈！ － 看到没？ - Ma. - You see?
你看见吗？ Marcel喜欢你 You see, he wants you.
来 Come.
今天是圣诞节 今天是他妈的圣诞节！ It's Christmas. It's fucking Christmas.
这是干什么 What is this?
今天 这位女士得先等着了 Today it's madame who must wait.
抱歉 女士 Madame, I'm very sorry,
我得先找Fido谈谈 but I have to have a few words with fido first.
你还是先回家吧 I really ought to send you home.
圣诞快乐 Fido Happy Christmas, fido.
我想要你操我 I want your cock.
你说什么？ What did you say?
我说 我想要你操我 I want your cock.
不 你不想 No. No, you don't.
不 你不想 No, you don't. No.
你今天怎么回事？ What's the matter with you today?
因为今天过节 On account of the holidays
加上你今天的行为 and your behavior today,
我会给你原始的罗马式惩罚 I'm going to give you the original Roman maximum
40鞭刑 你准备好了吗 Fido？ of 40 lashes. Are you ready, fido?
我准备好了 I'm ready.
一 One.
二 Two.
三 Three.
四 Four.
五 Five.
六 Six.
我明白了K的绳结的原理 I'd seen through k's knot technique,
这样我就可以再低一些 移动我的骨盆 so I was able to loosen my position a bit to move my pelvis,
这样我的阴部就可以顶在书皮上 and thereby stimulate my clitoris against the cover of the book.
那你回家后 And when you came home,
Jerome就带着儿子走了？ Jerome and the child were gone?
从那之后 我再也没有见过Marcel I haven't seen marcel since.
这样的感性... The sentimentality of--
我讨厌这样 I hate it.
为什么？ Why?
因为这是一个谎言 Because it's a lie.
你确定？ Are you sure?
Jerome也清楚 他若有了孩子 Jerome understood that he couldn't prioritize
便不能好好享受生活 his life according to a child either.
Marcel最后被留在了寄养家庭 So he put him in a foster home.
我跟这个孩子唯一的联系 My only contact to the boy is the thousand pounds
就是每月往他的账户打1000块钱 I put in his account every month.
当然是匿名的 Anonymously.
就当是对自己的惩罚 As a penance.
听过这么悲伤的故事后 我能不能问问 After all this sadness, may I ask...
沉默的鸭子是怎么回事 What happened to the silent duck?
妈呀 Oh shit.
沉默的鸭子 我都把这茬儿忘了 The silent duck. I'd forgotten all about it.
有一晚 K心情格外好 One night k had been in what was for him
超乎寻常的好心情 an unusually good mood.
我也不知道为什么 但他打得并不用力 I don't know what caused it, but he didn't hit hard
他开玩笑说要给我讲讲 and he joked that he would introduce me
“沉默的鸭子” to the concept of the silent duck.
没人敢想像 One hardly dare imagine
"吵闹的鸭子"得是啥样 "the quacking duck."
哦 Oh.
其实 在内心深处 小K其实是个挺好的人 Well, deep down, little k seems to have been
并且很有才华 a jolly man with versatile talents.
但他说的那个 But he got that bit about
罗马式 40鞭刑 Roman punishment and the 40 lashes wrong.
虽然这个40鞭刑确实存在 Because it's true that the highest punishment was 40 lashes,
但是都应分三次打的 but it had to be delivered in series of three.
这就是耶稣只接受了39鞭刑的原因 That's why Jesus only got 39 lashes,
因为39能被3除尽 because three goes into 39
而40不能 but not into 40.
你有面镜子？ You have a mirror.
有 Yes.
就像个想法一样 是吧？ It's like a thought, isn't it?
你准备好听下一章了吗？ Are you ready for another chapter?
开始吧 Go on.
第七章 镜
几年后 身体受虐的 Some years later, the bodily abuse
后遗症开始显现 began to have an effect.
刚开始 我的阴道开始出血 First, rare bleedings from my clitoris,
然后越来越频繁 but then they became more and more frequent.
进来 Come in.
你听到过关于你自己的传言没？ Have you heard any of the rumors about yourself?
他们说你每晚找不同的男人 They say you see men every evening.
并和他们睡觉 And spend all night with them.
他们说你不值得信赖 They say you can't be trusted-- all of them.
他们为什么这么说？ Why do they say that?
我觉得他们可能是怕我... I suppose they're afraid that I--
怕我离不开男人 找上他们的 I can't keep away from their men.
好吧 Right.
－ 那你能吗？ － 不能 - And can you? - No.
我和这么个心理医生谈了 I've spoken with a psychologist.
他说你有性瘾 He says you're addicted, but that it's not
但是这种瘾不是不可克服的 the kind of addiction that can't be treated.
他们有相关的团体 They have some groups.
我知道那些团体 I know about these kinds of groups.
我对心理医生也没什么可说的 I don't have anything to say to a psychologist.
我不是在建议你治疗 我是在要求你治疗 I'm not suggesting therapy. I'm demanding it.
即使你再找别人 Even if you leave us, it'll be the same at your next job
他们也会这么要求的 and the one after that.
我叫Joe My name is Joe...
你好 Joe. Hi, Joe.
我是个女性瘾者 ...and I'm a nymphomaniac.
性瘾 Sex addict.
我叫Joe 我是个女性瘾者 My name is Joe and I'm a nymphomaniac.
我们管这个叫 性瘾 We say sex addict.
不分男女 在这儿 大家都是平等的 Here everyone's the same.
你想说话的时候就说好了 You should only speak when you feel you have to.
你的意思是说 What you're saying is that
没人能彻底消除性欲 no one can remove their sexuality
即使性欲毁了她的一切？ even though it's destroying everything for them.
我不能说是所有人 I wouldn't say no one.
但是 世界上只有几百万分之一的人 But let's say, at most, one in a million
可以过没有性欲的生活 manage to live a life without sexuality.
那你也不能就把你的疗程 But you can't be basing your therapy
－ 建立在全世界的百万分之一人身上啊 － 不是的 - on that one in a million. - No.
第一步 也是最重要的步骤 The first and most important step
是找到动机 克制欲望 is to remove incentive and to reduce exposure.
你得问问自己 你的动机是什么 You have to ask yourself what kind of incentives you have
然后切断一切动机的来源 and then make it difficult for yourself to come into contact with them.
就是所有能让你想到性的东西 Basically anything that makes you think about sex.
Joe想给大家分享一下自己的感受 Joe has something she'd like to share.
我叫Joe My name is Joe...
你好 Joe Hi, Joe.
我有性瘾 ...and I'm a sex addict,
我已经三周零五天没有过性生活了 but I haven't had sex for three weeks and five days.
告诉我们你是怎么做到的吧 Joe Tell us how you did it, Joe.
- 你还写了纸条？ - 是的 - You brought notes? - Yes.
"亲爱的各位 "Dear everyone,
"这对我来说并不容易 don't think it's been easy,
"但现在我懂得了 我们都是一样的" but I understand now that we are all alike."
你没事吧 Joe? Are you okay, Joe?
嗯 没事 Yes yes.
你要喝点水么？ Would you like a glass of water?
谢谢 Thank you.
要不改天再说？ Would you rather share another time?
不 我想现在就分享 No, I'd like to speak.
亲爱的各位 Dear everyone,
这对我来说并不容易 don't think it's been easy,
但现在我明白了 but I understand now
我们从来不 that we're not
也永远不会是一样的 and never will be alike.
我跟你不一样 I'm not like you,
你被操只是想证明自己是女的 who fucks to be validated
你真该别再让男人操你了 and might just as well give up putting cocks inside you.
我跟你也不一样 And I'm not like you.
你想要的只是被“填满” All you want is to be filled up,
无论是被男人 还是被一堆 and whether it's by a man or by tons
乱七八糟的食物 都无所谓 of disgusting slop makes no difference.
我当然 跟你也不同 And I'm definitely not like you.
你说的那个共鸣 That empathy you claim
就是瞎扯 is a lie,
因为你们 都是所谓的道德斗士 because all you are is society's morality police,
任务就是 把像我这样的人 whose duty is to erase my obscenity
和我的淫秽想法 从这个地球上抹去 from the surface of the earth
好让资产阶级变得不那么变态 so that the bourgeoisie won't feel sick.
我跟你们不同 I'm not like you.
我是个女性瘾者 I am a nymphomaniac,
我很喜欢这个身份 and I love myself for being one.
但更重要的是 But above all,
我爱我的阴道 I love my cunt
爱我自己的色情和淫秽的生活 and my filthy, dirty lust.
当心 Watch out
你可能会问后边的事 You might get what you're after
酷，宝贝 Cool, babies
很奇怪，没有陌生人的感觉 Strange, but not a stranger
我只是个普通人 I'm an ordinary guy
燃烧的房子！ Burning down the house!
怎么了？ What just happened?
我不明白 I didn't get that--
这车着火是怎么回事 with the car that burned.
哦 对不起 No, I'm sorry.
我只不过是提前进入下一章了 I was just in too much of a hurry to get to the last chapter.
我明白了 我跟这个社会不对付 I understood that society had no room for me,
这个社会也跟我不对付 and I had no room for society
我也从未融入社会 and never had.
我相信对你来说 I'm sure it was quite natural for you
自然而然地 就会把房间布置成一个禅房 to furnish your room as a monk's cell,
用屋里的摆设来激发灵感 成为故事的章节标题 but as an inspiration for the story chapter headings,
这可真不容易 it hasn't been easy.
我想不出下章该怎么讲了 There's simply nothing left for me to use.
对不起 Well, I'm sorry about that.
但是 我说不定能给你个提示？ But if I may, I can give you a tip.
好啊 Yes, please.
我这辈子一直都在和文字打交道 You know, I occupy myself mostly with text,
但有时 文字可能会显得太... but sometimes the text can seem so...
太虚空了 无尽的虚空 So empty, so unfathomably empty.
即使是最好的作家也不例外 It could be the best text by the most famous author.
而解决的办法 就是改变你的视角 The solution might be to change your point of view.
我不明白 I-I don't get that.
有些事情 Things hide...
带着伪装 When they become familiar.
可能你看起来很熟悉 But if you look at them from another angle,
但当你从另外一个角度看时 又会有不同的意义 they might take on a new meaning.
你是对的 You're right.
之前 我只认为 Before this was just
这是一片茶渍 the stain from the tea I threw.
你看见它能变成什么了吗 Can you see what it could be?
一把左轮手枪 A revolver.
不是的 左轮手枪有轮 No, a revolver has a drum that revolves.
这是把手枪 It's a pistol.
你能看出这是哪一种枪吗？ Can you see what kind it could be?
不 我读的书里没有 No, I don't remember
关于这方面的知识 anything like that from my literature.
哈 终于有我知道的了 Oh, but it's something I can remember from mine.
伊恩弗莱明那种 Ian Fleming.
我不知道那是谁 Not familiar.
你连他的书都没看 就别说看过书了 If you haven't read that, you haven't read anything at all.
再加点想像 This could be, with a little imagination,
这是一把瓦尔特PPK自动手枪 a walther P.P.K. Automatic,
也是007的邦德最喜欢的 the same gun that was issued to bond
贝雷塔手枪卡住之后 造的那把枪一样 after his preferred pistol, the beretta, had jammed.
这也可以成为你的灵感？ Is that something you can use?
是的 Oh yes, it is.
燃烧的房子！ 第八章 枪 Burning down the house!
抓住 Hold tight
等到聚会结束 Wait till the party's over
抓住… Hold tight...
到底是我遗弃了社会 Whether I left society,
还是社会遗弃了我 我也不知道 or it left me, I cannot say.
我想你可以使他们争论 I suppose you could make an argument for both sides.
燃烧的房子！ Burning down the house!
可能这两面都有争议 I was on my way to the shady side
我找了一份讨债的工作 of the debt-collecting business,
有时候也兼职别的 which among other things involved stuff
比如烧别人的车之类 like burning people's cars.
我用了很长时间来认识L I had for a long time known about this man, l.
你好 我是Joe Hi, my name is Joe.
我知道 I know that.
进来 Come in.
我是来找工作的 I'm looking for a job.
我曾坐过办公室 I've been working in an office,
可我不在行 and I was never really good at it.
我明白 I can understand that. I mean,
那也没什么意义 what's the point?
我有些经验 I believe I possess some qualifications
而且不择手段 and that I'm rather unscrupulous.
我都知道 I know all about your qualifications
而且我觉得你很棒 and they're excellent.
我建议 I would suggest
你可以在我的帮助下 that you start your own little business
自立门户 with my help.
我明白 I understand
你拥有很多 you possess a great deal of insight
各种对于男性的直觉 about a rather broad spectrum of men.
你应该把这些利用起来 This could be-- or should be capitalized on.
我需要一些能够 I need sub-contractors who can put
对客户温柔施压的分包人 moderate pressure on individuals
不管是道德的还是不道德的 with whom my clients rightly or wrongly
同他们“理论”就可以 明白吗？ have a bone to pick. Understand?
恐吓取财？ Extortion.
不是不是 No. No no no no.
我们还是把它说成是 I always prefer the term
“讨债”吧 "debt collection."
－ 我明白 － 我通常都不会去评价 - Yeah. - I refrain from judging
我客户的愿望 whether my clients' wishes
是否合法 are legitimate or otherwise.
这种观点 A point of view
我强烈建议你也遵守 I strongly recommend you follow.
我最主要的经验 很显然 My main qualification of course
就是我和男人之间性的关系 was my considerable experience with men and sex.
但更多特别方面的技巧 我也手到擒来 But even my more specialized skills came in handy.
不 一般不是这样的 No, now this is not how it goes.
得等它打到你 再叫 You have to wait until you're hit.
L给我找了两个帮手 他们很不错 The two helpers that l had recommended were okay,
但是他们倾向于使用重复技术 but they were predisposed to a rather repetitive technique,
比如用铁棒子 which consisted of creating as much havoc as possible
造成更多的伤害 with a pair of iron bars.
破坏你的东西 似乎没有影响你啊 Destroying your things doesn't seem to have much effect on you.
这个男人 Here was a man
我不能用性觉的眼光读懂 I was unable to read sexually,
这更让我坚持要摆平他 so I became persistent.
把他绑到椅子上 Tie him to the chair.
不要伤害他 Don't hurt him.
我现在找不到你的污点 I can't find a stain on you,
但是经验告诉我 没有男人没有弱点 but my experience tells me that no man is spotless.
幸运的是 Luckily, you're equipped
我有一个很准的“探测器” with a very reliable truth-detector.
我给你讲几个故事 I'm going to tell you a few stories.
你要做的就是听 All you have to do is listen.
你在一间酒吧里 看着一对情侣 You're in a bar watching a couple--
我细致入微地过着 I now meticulously went through the catalog
自己知道的关于畸恋的故事 of sexual deviations in fictional form.
关于性虐 Stories about sadomasochism,
恋物癖 fetishism, homosexuality,
同性恋 等等等等 you name it.
但他统统没反应 But he didn't react.
我马上就要放弃了 准备讲最后一个故事： And I'd almost given up when I said:
在你回家的路上 你经过一个公园 On your way home, you walk through the park.
忽然 你驻足 And something makes you stop.
你听到了什么响动 You hear something.
是的 Yes, that's it.
你听到了孩童在操场上游戏的声音 You can hear the children on the playground.
你坐在附近的长凳上 You sit on a bench nearby
看他们玩 and watch them play.
有一个穿着短裤的小男孩 There's a little boy in shorts.
他在玩沙堆 He's playing in the sandpit.
他看着你 He looks at you
他蓝色的双眼看着你 with his blue eyes.
他对你微笑 He smiles at you.
他走向你 I think he comes to you.
坐在你的大腿上 He sits on your lap
抬头看着你的脸 and looks up at your face.
他说 He says
他想和你一起回家 he'd like to come home with you.
在家中 你一直在想像 At home you can't fight the idea
你们裸体的场景 of being naked together.
他向你爬去 He crawls all over you.
－ 你勃起了 － 请不要再说了 - You get an erection. - Won't you please stop?
他躺在你的肚子上 He lies on his stomach.
你脱掉他的裤子 You pull down his pants.
我会付款！ I'll pay!
你干嘛了？ You did what?
我给他口交了 I gave him a blowjob.
为什么？ 那种人渣 Why? That pig?!
- 我怜悯他 - 怜悯？ - I took pity on him. - Pity?
是的 我刚刚毁了他的生活 Yes. I had just destroyed his life.
没人知道他的秘密 Nobody knew his secret,
可能 甚至他自己都不知道 most probably not even himself.
他坐在那里 那样羞耻 He sat there with the shame.
我想 给他口交就当作是道歉了 I suppose I sucked him off as a kind of apology.
难以置信 That's unbelievable.
不 你听着 他是个了不起的人 No, listen to me. This is a man
他成功克制了自己的欲望 who'd succeeded in repressing his own desire,
他从未向自己的欲望投降 who had never before given into it
直到我强迫他那么做 right up until i forced it out.
他生活在自我否定中 He had lived a life full of denial
并从未伤害过任何人 and had never hurt a soul.
我觉得这很值得赞扬 I think that's laudable.
无论我怎么努力 No matter how hard I try,
还是不觉得恋童癖有什么值得赞扬的 I can't find anything laudable in pedophilia.
那是因为 你把他归类成了其中 That's because you think about
大概5%的 伤害儿童的人 the perhaps 5% who actually hurt children.
剩下95%的恋童癖 The remaining 95%
都只是意淫而已 从未行动 never live out their fantasies.
想想他们所受的痛苦吧 Think about their suffering.
性欲是人类 Sexuality is the strongest force
最强烈的力量 in human beings.
天生就不得不追随禁忌之爱 To be born with a forbidden sexuality
一定是很痛苦的 must be agonizing.
那些宁愿生活在 The pedophile who manages to get through life
自己羞耻的意淫中 with the shame of his desire
也不付诸行动的恋童癖者 应该得块奖章 while never acting on it deserves a bloody medal.
但我的同情 还有另外一个原因 But there was another reason for my sympathy,
你可能会觉得很神秘 which you find so mysterious.
我看到他和我背负着一样的东西 I saw a man who was carrying the same cross as myself.
孤独 Loneliness.
我们的性爱都被外人所排斥 We were both sexual outcasts.
不管怎么说吧 几年过去 In any case, some years passed,
我的事业发展了 during which my business grew,
这就让我有更多的钱 enabling me to step up my anonymous deposits
去赡养Marcel. to marcel.
你的事业蒸蒸日上 Your business is doing great...
我给你的任务你都完美地完成 You complete all the jobs I give you to perfection
你的客户都对你赞不绝口 and I hear only words of praise from your other clients.
但是... But...
－ 但是什么？ － 我们都不年轻了 - But what? - ...We aren't getting any younger.
这倒是 Oh. No, that's for sure.
我觉得 你到了那种 I think you're getting to that age
需要一个继承人的年龄 where you have to start thinking about a successor.
－ 我不需要什么该死的继承人 － 听着 - I don't need a fucking successor. - Listen.
一个人 应该对他们的罪行负责 A person should take their crime seriously.
你需要一个人 You need someone
当你的帮手 to be your right hand, someone to help you.
一个女继承人 A crown princess.
一般的程序是 The normal process
你要找到蹲过监狱的 is to find out what colleagues
或者是有毒瘾的人 are in prison or are drug addicts,
因此无法履行监护人职能 and thereby unable to fulfill
之后 their roles as parents.
你去找他们的孩子 去他们踢球的地方找 Then you find out where their kids play football...
去和他们的孩子接近 And you get involved.
你要和这孩子保持几年的关系 You cheer them on for a couple of years
不管他们的孩子有多差劲 事实上 越坏的越好 no matter how bad they are. Actually, the worse, the better.
所以渐渐地 That way
你就扮演了母亲的角色 gradually you take on the role of the parent
到最后 until in the end
你就会培养出一个 愿为你赴汤蹈火的手下 you have a loyal helper that will walk through fire for you.
甚至会愿意为你服刑 Even do time for you.
你说的... It sounds like a...
听起来像个陷阱 Kind of an entrapment you're suggesting.
- 一个很令人厌恶的陷阱 - 随你怎么说 - An unsavory entrapment. - Call it what you want,
但是你得相信 But if you believe at all
好的父母的力量 in the effects of good parenting,
这孩子若没有你的引导 that kid will have much greater opportunities
有可能会发展得更坏 with you as a mentor than without.
看在我这么欣赏你的份上 And since I like you,
我已经帮你找到了合适人选 I've been looking around for a suitable subject.
她15岁 She's 15 years old
来自一个犯罪家庭 from a family of hardened criminals,
她历经了很多困境 and she's been through a lot.
在过去两年中 她一直住院治疗 Last couple of years she's been institutionalized.
父亲被捕 母亲死于吸毒过量 Her father is in prison and her mother died of an overdose.
她是个很聪明的孩子 She's a smart girl.
她不踢球 And although she doesn't play football,
但是打篮球 虽然打得不怎么样 she does play basketball-- very badly.
她选择集体球类 She's chosen a team sport
是因为他孤独 because she's lonely.
最后给你个猛料: I saved the best part for last:
她的右耳有一点畸形 Her right ear is slightly deformed...
所以她感到很羞耻 Which she's very ashamed of,
当然 这让她变得更疏远人群 and of course this serves to isolate her even more.
这让她在人群中 It makes her an easy target
更加容易引人注意 for even the slightest bit of attention
也让她更跟你有共鸣 or sign of empathy from you.
虽然我极力反对 Despite my protests,
聪明的L还是说服我 the clever l somehow talked me
去见了P into actually having a look at p.
我越看这个可怜姑娘的畸形耳朵 The longer i watched the poor girl with the deformed ear,
越觉得这个计划很糟糕 the more repulsive I found the whole plan.
但是L早就料到 But as if l had foreseen this,
和P的见面 让我对她充满怜悯 the meeting with P filled me with pity and emotion.
不知不觉中 And without wanting to,
我发现自己 每个周末都去看她的比赛 I found myself, weekend after weekend,
支持这个可怜的女孩 at her games supporting the poor player.
谢谢你为我鼓掌 Thanks for cheering me on.
不谢 You're welcome.
你今天打得很好 You played really well today.
- 不 我打得不好 - 真的挺好的 - No, I didn't. - You did.
你最近进步了不少 You really improved yourself lately.
我很骄傲地带P I was proud to introduce P
去看我父亲的热情所在—— to my father's passion...
属于他的世界 And to his world.
这是真的 It's actually...
这些冬天的枝桠 The souls of the trees
其实就是树的灵魂 that we see in the winter.
我觉得它们看起来很像人的灵魂 I think they look like human souls.
你是对的 You're right.
它们看起来就像人类的灵魂一样 They do look like human souls.
扭曲的灵魂 Twisted souls,
普通的灵魂 疯狂的灵魂 regular souls, crazy souls.
取决于人类选择何种生活 All depending on the kind of lives human beings lead.
我找到了我的那棵树 I found my tree,
我的灵魂之树 my soul tree.
那就是我的树 This is my tree.
是白蜡树吗？ It's not an ash tree.
不 是一棵橡树 No, it's an oak tree.
我父亲找到了他的灵魂之树 My father found his soul tree,
可我从来没有找到过自己的 but I've-- I've never found mine.
"你看到就知道了" "You will know it when you see it,"
他这么说的 that's what he said.
当P成年后 When P reached the age of majority
我成了他的监护人 and I became her personal advisor,
我请她搬过来和我一起住 I asked her to move in with me.
你把头发梳起来更漂亮 I've never seen you with your hair up.
你真漂亮 It's so pretty.
在这短时间内 我的性行为停止了 . All this time all my sexual activity had stopped.
我的胯部受到了严重伤害 My groin was one big sore from my abuse
身体虐待也留下了后遗症 that wouldn't heal
连手淫也不可能了 and made even masturbation impossible.
还时不时会出现有各种症状出现: I experienced definite abstinence symptoms:
发烧和痉挛 Fever and cramps.
Joe 怎么了？ Joe, what's going on?
- 小心 - 我们得清理一下 - Careful. - We need to clear this up.
老毛病了 有时候会犯 I just get this sometimes.
没事的 没事的 It's okay, it's okay.
她可能真的很爱你 Perhaps she really loved you.
我不能接受 I couldn't accept it.
可能是因为 你希望这是真的 Perhaps because you really wanted it to be true.
可能是吧 Perhaps I hoped it.
关于P的故事 很感人 It's very touching, all this about P.
那你一定是误解了 Then you've probably misunderstood the whole thing.
别 Don't.
我想看看你 I wanna see you.
- 别 - 怎么了？ - Don't. - Why?
- 别 - 为什么？ - Please don't. - Why not?
别 别 我身上有伤疤 No. No, I have a wound.
- 我身上有伤 - 没关系的 - I have a wound. - It doesn't matter.
不 你不会明白的 No, you don't understand.
我耳朵还畸形呢 I have that thing with my ear.
我好羞耻 I'm so ashamed.
你喜欢我吗？ D'you like me?
你很美 You're so beautiful.
有件事我不明白 There's one thing I don't understand.
她知道你的工作吗？ Did she know what you did for a living?
P很谨慎 P was very discreet
也很寡言 and a girl of few words.
虽然我的工作时间很不寻常 Oddly, although I worked strange hours,
她也从来不问我的工作 she never asked about my work.
但有一天 她问了我一个问题 But one day she had a question.
Joe? Joe?
你为什么会开始看我的球赛？ Why did you start coming to my basketball matches?
不是巧合吧？ It wasn't a coincidence, was it?
不是的 不是巧合 No, it wasn't a coincidence.
我没告诉你是因为... I didn't tell you because I...
我怕你会不高兴 I thought you'd be upset...
会生我的气 And that you'd get angry at me.
我不会生气的 I won't get angry.
我的工作... What I do...
我的工作不是普通的工作 My job isn't a normal job.
是非法的 It's not legal.
我整个家庭也都是罪犯啊 No one in my family does anything legal.
我的一个工作上的同事 A man that's helped me in my business
介绍我来认识你 suggested that i watched you.
这个计划是 The plan was that I--
我来照顾你 I should look at you
来看看你有没有潜质 to see whether one day
和我一起工作 I could use you in my work.
我该和你交朋友 I should make friends with you,
因为我知道你没有父母 because I knew you didn't have a mother or a father.
这有什么的？ What's wrong with that?
你没看出这计划有多邪恶吗？ Don't you see how evil that plan was?
我感觉很糟 I felt terrible.
你不该这么想 You shouldn't have.
为什么？ Why not?
因为你如果没有这么做 Because if you hadn't...
我们俩就永远不会相遇 We'd never have met.
我想和你一起工作 I'd like to go with you to work
- 下次行吗 - 不行 - next time. - No.
你会考虑的 是嘛？ Will you think about it?
- 不会 - 会 - No. - Yes.
不 No.
她不接受你的拒绝 She didn't take no for an answer.
当然不 No, of course not.
常在河边走 哪能不湿鞋 How do you keep a wave upon the sand?
我不想自夸 With the risk of being too clever for myself,
但是 P的基因 social inheritance
是个不可否认的事实 is an irrefutable fact.
没有人能比P更清楚 If anyone knew about the laws of the street,
穷街陋巷的法则了 it must've been p.
你比你自己想像得 还要正确 You're more right than you know.
把这个傻逼一枪爆头啊 Let's shoot the fucker.
- 不 不！ - 停下！ Stop! Stop!
不要用枪火 We don't use firearms.
－ 我想有把枪 － 别人都有自己的枪 - I'd like to have the gun. - The others have weapons too.
我不知道别人有没有 Well, I didn't know that.
但是无论如何 你不能有 But in any case, you're not to have one.
枪又不危险 But guns aren't dangerous.
取决于你怎么使用 It depends on how you use them.
没错 Yes, exactly.
我没想着真开枪的 I wasn't going to shoot him.
如果不那样 根本讨不来债的 We wouldn't have gotten any money out of him that way.
把枪给我吧 Can I have the gun?
谢谢 Thank you.
你真是邪恶 You're evil.
现在 恐怕又要回到 And now I'm afraid one of those coincidences
之前你很难相信的那个巧合 you have such a hard time with
它又一次发生了 occurred with a very special person.
收债人的名单是P在管 It was p's job to take us to the debtors,
所以 直到我看到铭牌 so until I saw the name on the door,
才知道这间房子里住的是谁 I had no idea whose house we were at.
你确定这是我们要找的地方？ Are you sure this is the right place?
是的 Yeah.
我想 这次 I was thinking maybe it's time
到了你单干的时候了 for you to do this one on your own.
真的？ Yeah?
谢谢 Joe Thank you, Joe.
你不许毁坏任何东西 I don't want anything destroyed
也不许伤人 and I don't want anybody hurt.
好吗？ 你就进去 Okay? You just show yourself
给他提供一个合理的还债计划 and offer him a reasonable payment plan.
你说什么我都听着 If you say so.
当然 我会听你的 Of course that's how I'll do it.
再见到Jerome的感觉 Whether the feeling when I saw Jerome again
我也说不上来是不是爱 was love, i couldn't say.
但是那是一种强烈的感情 But it was a feeling,
比我感受过的任何感情 都更强烈 and far stronger than I liked.
我经过这条小巷 往家走 I was actually walking home through the alley here.
这两个地方完全不同 No two neighborhoods are totally different
可还是离得很近 but still so close together
从Jerome的家到城区 最短的一条路 that the shortest route from Jerome's house
就是经过这条小巷 towards the center was through the alley.
嗨 Hello!
怎么样？ How did it go?
搞定 Brilliant.
很好 Yeah, really well.
我给他一个很合理的付款计划 就像你说的那样 I made a reasonable payment plan like you told me to.
他看起来什么样？ How did he look?
很害怕 Scared.
他看起来多大？ How old did he look?
不知道... I dunno.
像个老古董 Ancient?
Jerome的债务要分6次付清 Jerome was to pay off his debt in six payments.
每次P去追债 Every time p went to Jerome to collect,
我都在家中不安地踱步 I paced around restlessly
直到她回家来 until she was back home again.
我甚至玩起了我妈妈常玩的纸牌接龙 I even had to find my mother's sad old solitaire cards
只为了让难熬的时间过去 in order to make the hours pass.
每晚 她要回家时 Each night i was less reassured by her coming home
我都变得更紧张 than the night before.
我也不知道这种感觉是嫉妒 The question of whether jealousy is the fear of sharing
还是害怕失去 我也不在乎 or the fear of losing was of little interest to me.
但是 事实上 这种毫不值得的感情 But yes, it was a fact
在我心中压抑太久 that this unworthy feeling i had managed to suppress for so long
开始慢慢地占据了我 was creeping up on me.
在她去收最后一批债务的那晚 The evening she was to collect the final payment
她离家前没有吻我 she didn't kiss me.
我还以为她忘了 I took it to be forgetfulness,
但是几个小时过去 她还是没回来 but the hours passed and she didn't return.
每次我看到窗外车灯 Every time i saw car lights,
都以为是她回来了 i thought it was p being driven home.
我决定逃离 I had decided to flee.
我不能与她处在同一个城市 还有他 I couldn't stay in this town with her and him.
我很懦弱地制定了一个计划 要逃往南方 I had cowardly made a plan to escape and head South,
就像遥远的冰河时代般不敢正视 like from some ice age i didn't have the guts
缺乏勇气 to turn around and face.
但道别总是悲伤 But the goodbye was sad and strangely unfulfilling.
而且很奇怪地让人不满 And something called me on
有些东西 召唤着我 爬上远处的山看一看 to seek further up the Mountain.
人们都说 取人性命很难 It's said to be difficult to take someone's life.
但我认为 不取人性命才难 I would've said that it's more difficult not to.
对于一个人来说 For a human being,
杀人是再自然不过的事情了 killing is the most natural thing in the world.
我们被创造出来 就是为了杀戮 We're created for it.
真棒的理论 Wonderful.
- 我的天啊 - 出去！ No, get off!
对不起 Sorry.
用力 Fireman's grip.
好的 Oh. Oh yeah.
填满我所有的“洞穴” 求你了 Fill all my holes please.
我到现在也不知道 为什么那枪射不了 I still don't know why the gun didn't work.
我检查过 I did check to make sure
弹夹里有子弹 that there were bullets in the magazine.
可这枪 就这么坏了 It simply malfunctioned,
就像是007的贝雷塔手枪一样 just like bond's beretta.
我觉得我还是有这个常识 I think I know enough to say that
你即使有了一把瓦尔特PPK even if you had rounds in the magazine of the walther P.P.K.,
也得先拉开保险 and you'd taken off the safety...
你不打开保险 枪是没法用的 You cannot shoot until you rack the gun.
拉一下 再松手 才能用 You pull and release the sliding mechanism.
之前P没有这么做 And p hadn't done it because, as she said,
是因为她本意并不想杀掉那人 she had no intention of shooting the man.
我不知道007是怎么回事 I don't know about bond, but I assume it has to be apparent
但是在其他的书和电影里 from his books and his films that
都得打开保险才能射杀别人 you have to rack an automatic pistol.
当然 你是对的 Of course, you're right.
我在电影里看过几千次这样的场景 I've seen it in films a thousand times.
早晨了 It's morning.
雪也停了 And the snow is gone.
太阳也出来了？ So the sun must be out?
是的 Yes, there is sun.
我从来没想过这光 是从哪儿来的 I've never managed to figure out where it comes from.
可能是 It must be some interplay
玻璃反光 between windows
或者什么塔上 或者什么高楼上 and towers and high buildings.
虽然不多 It's not much,
但是从我的房子这里 这是唯一能看到的阳光了 but it's the sun you get here at my place.
真美 It's beautiful.
开始的时候 你说 In the beginning you said that
你唯一的罪过 就是从日落中索求更多 your only sin was that you asked more of the sunset.
换句话说 我认为你从生活中索求更多 Meaning, I suppose, that you wanted
而不是只索求对你有好处的 more from life than was good for you.
你是一个追求自己权利的人 You were a human being demanding your right.
或者更进一步说 And more than that,
你是一个追求自己权利的女性 you were a woman demanding her right.
这有什么不平常的？ Does that pardon everything?
你觉得如果两个男人 Do you think if two men
在火车上勾引女人 would've walked down a train looking for women,
你觉得会有人扬起眉毛看他们吗？ do you think anybody would have raised an eyebrow?
或者如果一个男人过你这样的性生活？ Or if a man had led the life you had?
H夫人的故事就会非常平庸 And the story about Mrs. h
如果你是一个男人的话 would've been extremely banal if you'd been a man
这是你作为一个女人 才能做到的 and your conquest would have been a woman.
如果一个男人因为追求自己的欲望 When a man leaves his children
而离开他的孩子 because of desire,
人们可能会冷漠接受 但你作为一个女人 we accept it with a shrug, but you as a woman,
就要背负罪名 you had to take on a-- a guilt, a burden of guilt
一种永远不会得到宽恕的罪名 that could never be alleviated.
而到最后 这些责备和罪过 And all in all, all the blame and guilt
它们在几年来积攒 直到让你吃不消了 that piled up over the years became too much for you,
你开始奋起抗争 像一个男人一样 you reacted aggressively-- almost like a man I have to say--
你奋力还击 and you fought back.
你为你的性别而反击 You fought back against the gender that had been
为你们受到的压迫和残害而反击 oppressing and mutilating
为你自己和数以亿计的女性反击 and killing you and billions of women.
但是我曾想杀人 But I wanted to kill a human being.
但你最后还是没杀 But you didn't.
那是因为一个意外 Because of a chance event.
你说这是意外 You call it a chance event.
我认为是潜意识的阻力 I call it subconscious resistance.
表面上 你是想杀人 On the surface you wanted to kill,
但在你心底 你相信人类的价值 but deep down you celebrated human worth
于是你在潜意识中遗忘了 and a veil of forgetfulness
要先打开枪的保险 draped itself over your knowledge of how to rack a gun.
反正所有的事情到你这里 Although all this sounds frighteningly close to the cliches of our times...
都会变成俗套 ...and I'm predisposed
我也不想跟你理论了 to knock holes in your arguments...
我好累 I'm too tired.
这挺好 Well, that's good.
你躺下吧 Why don't you lay down?
好的 Yes.
我给你说 通过你的坚持 Let me just say that telling my story
或者说得到你的准许 as you insisted--
给你讲了我的故事 or permitted--
真是让我松了一口气 has put me at ease.
现在 At this moment
我将自己的性瘾看得真切 my addiction is very clear to me...
并且我决定 And I've come to a decision.
即便全世界只有百万分之一的人 Even though only one in a million,
就像我的傻逼心理辅导师说的那样 as my dubious therapist said,
能够成功地 succeed in...
在精神上 身体上 Mentally, bodily...
还有在内心深处 And in her heart
去除他们的性欲 of ridding herself of her sexuality,
这现在就是我的目标 this is now my goal.
但那样的生活 值得吗？ But is that a life worth living?
这是我唯一能活下去的办法 It's the only way i can live it.
我要奋起 即便会很难 I will stand up against all odds...
就像山上的那棵畸形的树一般 Just like a deformed tree on a hill.
我会利用 I will muster
我所有的固执 all my stubbornness...
我的力量 My strength...
我男人般的攻击性 My masculine aggression.
但最重要的是 But most of all i want to say thanks
感谢我的新朋友 或者说是第一个朋友 to my new, and maybe first friend.
谢谢 Seligman Thank you, seligman...
可能我说到做到之后 就会最终幸福了 Who perhaps is happy when all is said and done.
不管怎么说 我现在很好 I'm happy at any rate
枪开不了 that the shot didn't go off
我也不是个杀人犯 and made me a murderer.
如果可以的话 我现在想睡了 If I may, I'd like to sleep now.
我不会打扰你的 I'll make sure you won't be disturbed.
晚安 Joe Good night, Joe.
晚安 Seligman. Good night, seligman.
别！ No!
但是你...曾和成百上千的男人做过爱... But you-- you've fucked thousands of men.
嘿，Joe Hey, Joe
你要去往何方 与你手中的枪 Where are you going with that gun in your hand?
嘿，Joe Hey, Joe
我问：你要持枪去往何方 I said where are you going with that gun in your hand?
我要去看我的老情人 I'm going down to shoot my old lady
她已同别的男人混在一床 You know I caught her messing around with another man
我要去看我的老情人 I'm going down to shoot my old lady
她已同别的男人混在一床 You know I caught her messing around with another man
那不是太酷了 And that ain't too cool
嘿，Joe Hey, Joe
听说你看到了老婆的放荡 I heard you shot your woman down
你就干掉了她 You shot her down now
嘿，Joe Hey, Joe
听说你看到了你女人的放荡 I heard you shot your lady down
就将她干倒在地上 You shot her down to the ground
是的，我看到 Yes, I did, i shot her
你知道她就在这镇子周围 You know I caught her messing around town
是的，我看到 Yes, I did, i shot her
你知道她就在这镇子周围 You know I caught my old lady messing around town
并且还拿着我那支枪 And I gave her the gun
是的，我看到 I shot her
嘿，Joe Hey, Joe
你要去往何方 Where you gonna go to now?
嘿，Joe Hey, Joe
哪里是你的方向 Where you gonna go to now?
我要去往南方 I'm going way down South
通往墨西哥的路上 Way down to Mexico way
我要去往南方 I'm going way down South
寻找自由的天堂 Way down where I can be free
那里没有追杀 Ain't no hangman gonna
也没有令人窒息的羁绊 He ain't gonna put a rope around me
嘿，Joe Hey, Joe
你最好跑步跟上 You'd better run on down
晚安 Good night.
女性瘾者 （第二部） 拉斯·冯·提尔 作品