MY BEST FRIEND
Yes.
Of course.
Yes.
Yes, of course.
No, trust me. Now's the time to sell.
All the collectors will be at the antique fair.
It's only a first estimate.
Sorry, I'll have to call you back.
My client just got here.
Please be seated.
Today the Lord welcomes you home
Patrick
but you aren't alone.
Your family and friends -
all your friends - are with you.
The loyalty,
the kindness that you always showed
to all your friends
they're here today to commemorate it.
For those who wish,
there is a memorial book to sign.
Thank you, madame.
Thank you for coming. Patrick liked you.
And I liked him.
He was an outstanding collector.
Which reminds me. He mentioned a bureau that might interest me.
- The Majorelle? - That's it. Could I see it?
Come to the house whenever you like.
- Life goes on, right? - Life goes on.
I'll come by tomorrow. Be strong.
Hi, how are you?
Hi, George.
- Hello. - The sale's started!
Sorry. They went the whole hog.
- Sorry. How was it? - Funereal. Let me see the catalogue.
Which number? How high would you go?
- 15? - 20.
- It's only a lamp. - We'll sell it for twice that.
Sold to the lady at the back for 17,000 euros.
Now, a small change of program.
Lot 211 has been withdrawn,
so we'll pass straight to Lot 212.
Which 16th-century French agronomist...
Hi, Roger!
...introduced silk manufacture?
He launched the silk industry
that flourished throughout France.
Olivier de Serres! I know it.
Button it, bookworm.
- Olivier de Serres! - There's no mayo on my egg.
It's a hard-bald egg!
- You know why it's called "mayonnaise"? - He's at it again!
It was named after Port Mahon, captured by France in 1755.
Mahon, mahonnaise...
Bruno! You're a bore!
I'm not. It's interesting.
Eat it while it's hot.
This Greek terracotta vase
from the 5th century B.C.
Is a moving relic of a friendship.
The inscription says,
"He who commissioned it, grieving for his dearest friend,
"filled this vase with tears
"and placed it in his tomb."
Starting price, 50,000 euros. On the phone?
60,000.
70.
- 70,000. - 80,000.
- 90,000.
90,000.
Anything on the phone?
I'm bid 90,000.
100,000.
110,000.
120,000.
Any more bids?
150,000!
150,000. 150,000 for the gentleman.
160,000.
No more bids?
- 170! - Stop it!
- You bid, madame? - No, sorry.
The gentleman's bid stands at 170,000.
170,000...
180,000.
You're out, sir?
Yes, sir? 190,000!
200,000.
200,000 euros!
200,000 euros?
No? 200,000. Any more bids?
200,000 for that gentleman.
Sold for 200,000.
Congratulations. A fine purchase.
Moving on to the next lot...
228,700 euros!
Including commission.
Étienne Delamotte.
- The TV producer. - Here, I'm an antiques collector.
François Coste, dealer.
1930s, Deco and tribal art.
- So why do you want my vase? - Yours?
- It belongs in my collection. - You should have bid up.
You think you can buy everything?
- It's the law of the market. - The market!
- Have a heart! - How much?
- What? - For a heart. How much?
Did you bring packaging for the vase?
- No. Why? - It's very fragile.
Then deliver it to my place.
OK.
- Your place? - Where would it go in the gallery?
Tell me you bought it for a collector.
- I bought it for me. - With the gallery's money?
I had to have it. A sudden urge.
We're partners 50-50, remember.
Relax, we'll work something out.
- You want to ruin us? - It's not that bad.
- And if the bank gets tough? - We'll manage. Don't we always?
See you this evening.
12, Rue de Solferino.
- Good evening. - What?
Good evening.
Good evening. I'm in a hurry.
Solferino. A battle on June 24, 1859. France defeated Austria.
The Red Cross began as a result.
How about that?
There, on Avenue Frochot,
Auguste Renoir had his studio.
There, at No.15,
was the Café du Croissant,
where Jaurés was assassinated on July 31, 1914,
the eve of World War One.
He was eating a strawberry tart.
That's important.
It is indeed.
Wait till you hear what happened today.
We met at the auction to buy a lamp.
He made us buy an insanely expensive Greek vase.
- Is he up on Greek antiques? - Not at all. What possessed him?
Eiffel's grandfather was German. If he hadn't changed his name,
the Eiffel Tower would be called the Bönickhausen Tower.
I'll get out here.
- This isn't Rue de Solferino. - Never mind.
I'll walk the rest.
- 16 euros. - Fine.
- Keep the change. - Thanks.
- Can I have a receipt? - Yes.
By the way, Renoir's studio wasn't on Avenue Frochot.
It was Toulouse Lautrec.
- It was? I'll check. - Do.
- Your friends are here. - Good, thanks.
Hello, everybody.
Hello.
The client says,
"It's an old daub from our country house,
"near Pont-Aven."
I look at the signature. "P. Go."
- Who was this Mr. Go? - Chinese?
A Chinese painter in 19th-century Brittany?
"P. Go" was shorthand for Paul Gauguin.
Who's she? Haven't we met before?
You never notice people. Marianne.
I introduced you at that opening.
Right! Do you know her well?
- Very well. She's my girlfriend. - Your girlfriend?
We're together.
You're kidding!
No.
Sorry. I'd never have guessed.
Guessed what?
That I like women.
Don't you ever wonder what I do outside work?
- I respect your privacy. - You don't give a fuck about other people.
- Do you really think so? - Yes, but it doesn't matter.
- You look grim. Birthday blues? - No, I went to a funeral.
Patrick Bourgoin's.
Why? You couldn't stand him.
A little unfinished business...
Guess how many we were, including his widow. Seven!
Well, there'll be fewer at yours.
What?
There'll be nobody.
- You're joking. - No.
Why did he say that?
- Because you have no friends. - No friends?
No. How could you? You only like things.
I get it. You're all teasing!
Catherine's right. You have no friends.
My appointment diary is full.
Lunches lined up for three weeks!
We're talking friends, not contacts.
Real friends you can rely on.
- Like a best friend? - For instance.
Who's yours?
I have lots! Present company, to start with.
A best friend isn't a crowd. So? Who is it?
Why should you know him?
I don't carry him around in my breast pocket.
OK, but who is it?
What is this? The Inquisition?
- Does he even exist? - Of course he does!
- I don't think so. - Want to bet?
Stop it. You can't bet on that.
- He won't let go. - Same as you!
Relax. She didn't mean it.
It's a serious accusation!
Accusation? Don't overdramatize.
You'll meet my best friend. What do you bet?
The vase.
- The vase? - Your Greek vase.
If I don't meet your best friend by the end of this month, it's mine.
And if I win? Because I will.
- You keep the vase. - Bet?
Bet. You have ten days.
Bertrand, obviously best friend.
Let's put Jean-Louis.
- What are you doing? - Nothing.
Rémi, perfect.
Should I stay or go home?
Yes.
Yes what?
This is a rare visit. We barely even talk on the phone.
We've talked at least twice a week and had lunch three times this year.
You're keeping count?
- How are you? - OK.
- How's Nathalie? - Natasha. We're separated.
I know.
It's a shame. I liked Natasha.
- Where do we put the bureau? - In the gallery.
- And the settee? - No, the storeroom.
- How old are your kids now? - Nine and twelve.
- Studying what? - Nothing special yet.
Go ahead.
- Why have you come? - To ask after you. Isn't it natural?
No. You never asked before.
- Remember our trip to Sicily? - We happened to be at the same hotel.
And wasn't it fun?
The first time we met at an auction, I felt I'd always known you.
- Didn't you? - I can't remember.
Isn't it weird? We don't see each other for months,
but we pick up exactly where we left off.
Oh? And where was that?
Bertrand, what are you and I?
Dealers.
Yes, I don't mean...
- Go on. - More than that, we're
friends. You're my best friend.
- Have you regressed to childhood? - No. Why?
Could have fooled me!
You sound like a schoolkid, not an adult who steals my clients.
Don't get me wrong. I just wanted to ask you...
OK.
Why didn't you say so? How much?
- I'm not here to borrow money. - It's nothing new.
I always pay you back. Good reckonings make good friends.
Good reckonings make good reckonings.
You disappoint me, Bertrand. You were top of my list.
You even had a list?
A list of friends?
I'll save you the effort of asking the others.
They'll all say the same thing.
NESCAFÉ BREAK... AMONG FRIENDS
I'm looking for a book. I'm not sure of the name.
I can't find it on the shelves. It's about
how to make friends.
- How To Make Friends? - Yes.
Marc!
- How To Make Friends! - What?
How To Make Friends!
Do we have any left? For this gentleman.
You're looking for How To Make Friends?
Yes.
It's on order. Shall I put one aside?
Yeah.
What name?
François Coste.
Honest to God!
Excuse me. Are you two friends?
- Yes. - How did you do it?
- Do what? - Become friends.
I don't understand.
Me neither.
How did you meet? What do you have in common?
What do you argue about, if you do? Do you?
Excuse me!
You didn't answer me. I'm serious.
Will you leave us alone?
You should get help!
"Friend." The most common word in the book,
but the rarest thing in reality.
The Greeks and Romans idolized friendship.
Over the centuries, other values displaced it,
but in today's insecure world, where our jobs, families,
and governments no longer protect us,
friendship is back in a big way.
It stands like the last beacon
in a sky that has lost its sun and not yet found its stars.
Many books explain how to make friends at work, for your advantage,
cultivating people for their usefulness.
True friendship is the opposite.
It is priceless.
Small gifts can foster friendship. They can never buy it.
Love is sometimes sold,
but friendship, never!
The best way to find a friend...
Are you looking for friendship too?
I've tried everything.
The want ads, Dial-A-Friend,
the internet...
On Ionely evenings...
Make him feel valued!
Make him feel unique,
the most important person in the world.
JESUS IS YOUR FRIEND
No sign of the vase.
They phoned to apologize.
- What's taking so long? - Paperwork.
The import permit was missing.
Tell me, François.
Why's it so important to you?
To you too. We bet it, remember?
So let's talk about it.
- Am I intruding? - Louise!
Hi.
I'll call a cab.
- We're viewing a studio. - She's leaving me!
I'm only staying in Paris until I get my degree.
Doesn't Bordeaux have a university?
Yes, but it's not the Louvre School.
Will the studio be OK?
- You won't be living in it. - So why ask my opinion?
- You'll be paying. - No kidding!
François.
No taxis available.
- I've got my bus pass. - I don't.
Leave it to me.
Hello.
- We can't go on meeting like this! - You called me. Where to?
- Rue des Francs-Bourgeois, please. - Francs-Bourgeois, here we come.
A very old street. The Revolutionaries renamed it...
- We don't care. - We do!
Tell us.
Rue des Francs-Citoyens. "Bourgeois" was passé.
They got it wrong. The Francs-Bourgeois weren't bourgeois.
Just like the Earl of Sandwich
didn't invent the sandwich,
and a black box is actually orange.
- It's getting bad. - Leave me alone!
You really ought to see a doctor.
- Need a specialist? - No!
- Why? - A client of mine
consults a top asthma doctor.
- I could get his name. - I see.
You set this up!
- Me? - You two knew each other!
- Let me out. - Drive on.
- Let me out! - Drive on!
Sweetheart!
Don't sweat it. It happens.
What happens?
Lovers' tiffs. With your age gap...
An age gap between parent and child is pretty essential.
I apologize.
You were right about Avenue Frochot.
Jean Renoir, the painter's son, lived there. My mistake.
Which crime writer's pen name was Gom Gut?
It was...
- Do you know or not? - I know. I'm just a bit nervous.
Well?
He was Belgian, born in 1903, died in Lausanne in 1989...
- He created Maigret. - That's not the answer.
It's coming back...
Georges Simenon!
Sorry.
Which country won the 1954 World Cup?
1954?
Hungary lost 3-2...
Helmut Rahn scored the winning goal.
Give me the country, not a full replay.
Which Frenchman acted in The Man Who Knew Too Much?
- Trick question? - No.
Yes. Hitchcock filmed it twice, right?
The 1956 version.
- In 1934 it was Pierre Fresnay. - That's not the answer.
It's on the tip of my tongue!
He acted in Saints Alive. He wrote gardening books!
Mr. Balanchine, we'll call you.
I blew it, right?
- We have more candidates to see. - Of course. Thank you.
It was Daniel Gélin!
Goodbye.
- Didn't we try him before? - More than once.
- He knows it all. - Who cares?
For a show called Know-It-All?
- He's the man who knew too much. - By far. See how he fell apart with us?
Imagine him with a live audience.
Monsieur Coste?
- Your delivery. - I was getting worried.
- Where do you want it? - Through there.
Sign, please.
I often wonder why they call you porters Savoyards.
No idea, sir.
Here...
Thanks.
- Thank you. Bye. - Bye.
- Hi, Dad. - Hi, son.
- Hi, Ma. - Hi, dear.
Tell us, how did it go?
- Some pretty good fares. - But did they pick you for Know-It-All?
I don't think so.
How come? Didn't you answer right?
- Did you take your tranquilizers? - I don't like to.
They make me feel all hot and cold.
Can't they make allowances for nerves?
Thank you.
Night, Ma.
See you, son. Get home safely.
Drive carefully!
What can I say?
- Can we go? - We just got here!
I can't bear all these people.
- Can't you make an effort? - No.
- I can see why you have no friends. - Don't you start.
- Sorry! - It's occupied!
Sorry to phone you so late...
Our helpline is open 24 hours.
How can I help you?
Not me. A friend.
A friend? It's OK, most people who call Dial-A-Friend are like you.
- Like me? - They have no friends.
I have plenty of friends! I even made a list.
- No! - No what?
I wasn't saying "No" to you.
What's your idea of the perfect friend?
I don't care. I just need one by the 31 st.
Why's that?
I just have to.
Can I help?
Why do you always refuse help?
- What are you looking for? - A piece of paper. A list.
It's personal.
And what are we?
What do you mean?
Where are you and I going?
Fine.
We'll talk when you're less busy. Good night.
- Right, go. - No!
Mr. Coste? Someone to see you.
- Who is it? - Mr. Ballanchain.
- I don't know him. - He knows you. Says it's important.
See ya, pal.
- Thanks for the help. - Anytime.
- Sorry to bother you. - You're Mr. Ballanchain?
- At your service. - Ballanchain, as in "ball and..."
No, it's Balanchine. Like the choreographer.
Sorry about your daughter. I shot my mouth off.
- Is she here? - You came to see her?
- No. You left this in my taxi. - Ah! I searched everywhere. Thanks.
I guessed it was a list of clients or...
Nice place.
Business slow? Your shop seems pretty empty.
It's not a shop, it's a gallery. Of antiques.
I'm into old stuff too.
I love a good flea market.
I also collect. Panini stickers.
1958-78.
I have them all except one. Pelé the King.
If you or a colleague sees one...
- Anyone you know. - We might.
I just learned a new fact. Why are they called Savoyards?
- No idea. - 'Cause they come from Savoy!
Napoleon III started it
when he annexed Savoy to France.
Isn't that amazing?
I'll be off.
See you, maybe.
Wait!
Can I ask you a question?
Any subject except hard rock. It's not my thing.
Not that. Did you know those Savoyards before?
We just met.
- And the dachshund? - First time I saw it. Why?
- What are you doing for lunch? - Eating.
Good! Me too.
Can I ask you something?
Sure, if it's up my street.
I'm trying to find some friends.
I mean I'm looking for old friends
who would help me out of a jam.
And who, if I should pass away,
would attend my funeral.
You'd be there, for one!
Why do you need to find them?
I have my reasons.
What's the point of having a crowd at your funeral?
Some people can't play sports. I can't make friends.
Right. So?
I want to be like you.
- Like me? - Yes. I've noticed.
You mix well, even with strangers. How do you do it?
I don't know.
You have to be sociable.
- Meaning? - If you don't know, forget it.
Don't you think I'm sociable?
Not really. No offense!
Teach me to be sociable!
- It can't be taught. - There must be a trick to it.
Teach me, please. I'll pay you.
You're joking!
No, I'm not. I never joke.
That's your first mistake.
OK, let's try.
That's a big bag. Is someone meeting you off the train?
My grandson. He's a real cutie.
Not as cute as his grandma!
What's his name?
- Erwan. - That's Breton for Yves.
Right!
- You know Brittany? - A bit. Where are you from?
Paimpol.
# I love Paimpol, its cliffs
- # Its church, the pilgrimage... - I don't know it.
# But above all, I love the girl from Paimpol
# Who waits for me in Brittany
There you go, my dear.
Your bag.
- Are you always so jolly? - Smile and the world smiles with you.
- Goodbye. - Goodbye, madame.
Did you like lesson one?
Come with me. I need a toaster.
Stand here and tell me where I go wrong.
Good afternoon.
I'm looking for a toaster.
- What do you recommend? - This one's good.
Hello.
- Can I help? - I need a toaster that defrosts.
- This one's best. - Does it defrost?
- Did you see this one? - I like this one.
Dear me! I can't decide.
I'll think about it. Thanks. Goodbye.
- See? They liked me. - Naturally. You're a customer.
But we hit it off. Don't deny it.
You really don't get it.
My parents would love one of these.
- I'll buy it for them. - No. No.
- Watch your braking distance. - What?
We're on the meter, not the wheel of fortune.
There are plenty of ways to be sociable.
Just stay on your toes.
And smile.
Hello.
Madame.
- They all look miserable. - So cheer them up!
Hello!
An espresso, please.
- Roger! - No. It's on me.
This whole round is on me.
I blew it again.
What went wrong?
- You said, "It's on me." - Yes.
- Who is "me"? - Me!
They don't know you. You can't buy people drinks until they know you.
It's weird. For you, it's automatic.
I thought I'd got it.
There's nothing to get. Just be yourself.
Sociable, smiling...
OK, to sum it up.
Sociable, smiling.
And sincere. Sincerity's essential.
The magic formula! I knew it!
Three Ss. Sociable.
Smiling.
Sincere.
If you like.
- No? - Yes...
Sociable, smiling, sincere.
I'll watch you.
- "Live and learn," my dad says. - Why should I be sociable with strangers?
Who do you want to be sociable with?
- People I know. Friends. - I didn't think you had any.
One is all I need.
Is there nobody you could call at 3am?
Nobody!
- Even if you had a big problem? - I don't.
You do. You have nobody to call at 3am!
- Where next? - Nowhere. I've had enough.
- Shall I run you back? - I need a walk.
- What do I owe? - Pay me tomorrow.
I said I've had enough.
You can't just give up and walk away.
Someone's waiting for you somewhere.
Who? Where?
Me, tomorrow, outside your door.
What if I don't answer?
I'll wait. I'm a taxi driver.
Our cash flow's still tight.
The bank is threatening...
- What's the matter? - Nothing.
I have to say you're slacking off.
Missing appointments, cruising town in a taxi...
I know you hate driving in Paris, but still.
Lost your bet?
No!
- Only three more days. - I know.
- Eating out tonight? - Yes, with friends.
- Want to come? - No, I'm going out too.
I'd hate to think of you all alone at home.
What are you doing in the dark?
I'm with my friend.
Who?
My only friend.
Are you drunk?
- Where were you? - Get off my case.
I care about you, that's all.
That's new.
That's a mean thing to say, darling.
Achilles and Patroclus.
From the Iliad. Legendary friends
through thick and thin.
Good night.
Good morning.
- You're looking better today. - Yes.
- You were right. I've found him. - Found?
My best friend. Right underneath my nose.
His name is Luc.
Luc Lebinet.
So, where to?
Nogent-sur-Marne.
This is it!
- If you say so. - I'm sure.
My long-Iost buddy.
That's the place.
He'll be so surprised. My best friend at age 11.
Look, that's him. Lebinet.
- A childhood friend? - Yeah.
They're the most loyal.
Lebinet.
Funny, he's hardly changed.
- Why not talk to him? - I want him to think it's chance.
- What do we do? - Follow them.
Thanks.
Thanks for everything.
Shouldn't I wait?
No. He's bound to invite me home for a long chat.
Bye.
Lebinet!
Incredible. Remember me?
No.
Coste. François Coste! Carnot Junior High.
Sixth grade.
Coste? Yeah, right.
Goodbye.
Lebinet!
- Sir? - I have nothing.
Luc!
Wait! Wait for me.
You bought quiche? My favorite food!
You used to call me "Quichie" at school, remember?
It's a sign!
Let's eat it together. You can introduce me to your family.
Get lost!
Luc!
We were best friends. You can't have forgotten!
I haven't forgotten.
We were worst enemies. I thought you were a creep.
Everybody did. The whole class loathed you.
You were a smug little shit then,
and I see you still are.
C'mon. He's not your sort.
Schmuck!
- You waited? - I smelled a rat.
Childhood friendships don't last.
Sit in the front.
Same old story. You meet people, get close to them,
then they're gone.
Friendship's a myth.
Look who's talking. You make friends with everyone.
Everybody's the same as nobody.
Believe me. We're always alone.
Monsieur Coste?
- Hello. - Voilà.
Fill in the amount you want, my friend.
I'm not selling.
I'm set on having that vase.
I'm set on keeping it, my friend.
- You don't understand. I'm offering... - No, no, no.
You don't understand. I said no.
You really don't deserve it.
Aren't Sundays a drag?
Statistically, more people die on Sundays.
How do you stay alive on Sundays?
Why did the damn ref allow so much injury time?
Is it the subway that's bugging you?
Got out of the habit?
Me too, but parking is hell at the stadium.
Remember the three Ss.
- Sociable... - Smiling, yeah...
Dickheads!
Aren't you hungry? Let's grab a bite.
I eat with my parents on Sundays.
Oh, well. Next time.
- No, you can come too. - You think so?
- Won't they... - You're kidding. We'll take potluck.
- Where do they live? - The suburbs.
There's a direct subway.
Subway? No way.
- No? - No.
- It was close back there. - The subway's always close!
- Thanks. - Bye.
Your suburb's pretty.
Why wouldn't it be?
They live here and I live there.
- You can't cut the cord? - It's them, not me.
- Drove my wife crazy. - So, you're married?
Me, yes. Her, not so much.
- How about you? - Divorced.
My fault, naturally.
You live alone?
Yes, it depends.
Depends on the evening.
She lays her eggs, safe from storm and foe...
Evening.
- Evening. - Evening.
François Coste, our dinner guest.
The famous François? Bruno talks a lot about you.
My friend François.
My friend Bruno.
Bruno, my friend.
Catherine. I'm afraid you've lost your bet.
I'm about to have dinner with my best friend.
Take care, talk to you later.
- I hope you like quiche. - I could eat it every day.
- Here, François. - Thanks.
You've cheered me up.
Smile and the world smiles with you.
- Here, son. - Thanks.
- Did you tape Thalassa for me? - Sure.
- Bruno's a champion mastermind. - Future champion.
Quiz games, you know?
On TV. Not cereal boxes.
We coach him, see. We train him.
Bruno, get out some good wine to toast your friend.
How did he get so addicted to facts?
As a kid he collected newspaper articles.
"True or False?" "Amazing Facts!" "Did You Know?"
He followed all the game shows on the radio and TV.
Some kids idolize rock stars.
His idols were Alex Trebek and Robert Robinson.
Not that it helped him pass his exams.
He knew a lot more than the teachers, but
he fell apart. Nerves.
He has nice manners. What does he do?
- He's a dealer. - In what?
- Art, furniture... - Aunt Jacky's!
I don't think...
Father!
I think there's some valuable stuff, but you're the expert.
Voilà!
Yes, yes, yes.
Interesting, this art deco table.
I could easily sell it for you.
You could? What's it worth?
About 10,000.
- Francs or cents? - Euros.
Let me think about it.
There!
- Thanks. - My pleasure.
Your trip wasn't wasted.
I haven't had such a happy time in ages. So glad to have met you.
Us too!
You're very sociable.
- Really? - Yes.
Really very sociable.
You have nice parents.
Yeah.
- What are yours like? - They're dead.
Shit. I'm sorry.
You have your daughter, though.
I'm worried about Louise. She's allergic to dust,
but, as you saw, she refuses to seek treatment.
Girls that age are touchy.
Like, if she wears makeup, she must have a boyfriend.
But don't ever ask. Let her confide in you.
Her, confide? Not in me, anyhow.
She never even calls me "Dad."
- What does she say? - Nothing. She says nothing.
I can't get through to her.
Is she the only one?
- Want to put it down? - I'm OK.
We can keep going...
- Can you lift it? - You lift!
Lift your end. Go on.
Higher.
Damn!
- Sorry. - Don't worry about it.
Don't worry? It's a period piece.
- Isn't it? - Sure.
- Early Woolworths. - You mean...
- It's not worth a fart? - Not even that.
- You paid 10,000. - To make your father happy.
You pay to make people happy?
You don't?
- Where do we put it? - There.
Voilà.
Your place isn't potluck. It's the jackpot!
Make yourself at home.
Here's to friendship.
It's unique. 5th century B.C.
A man had it made in memory of his best friend.
He was inconsolable.
He filled it with his tears.
No shit.
That's Achilles and Patroclus.
The Iliad. Achilles and Patroclus.
Like Danny Wilde and Brett Sinclair in The Persuaders!
Yeah, kind of.
- Time I went home. - Don't be silly.
We've drunk too much.
I have room for friends.
I'm sure you do
have room.
- Evening. - Evening.
Sorry to just turn up, but you stopped returning my calls.
Yes. Sorry. I've been up to my neck.
Can I come in?
Yeah.
- Am I troubling you? - Not at all.
- Going down-market? - It was a gift.
- You're not alone? - Yes.
Actually, no. Louise had an attack. I dialed a friend...
I mean, I dialed a doctor.
I prefer your silences.
But if you call me, I'll answer.
- François? - Yes?
- Good night. - Good night.
I think friendship is the greatest thing.
True friendship.
It's always pure and open.
Anyway...
See you tomorrow.
We hung out, went to a soccer game,
took the subway and had dinner with his parents.
He's leading you astray! What does he do?
- Drives a taxi. - Don't give me that.
We've been friends since we were 11. He became a taxi driver, so what?
And it's useful. I call, he comes.
The plumber comes when I call, but he's not my best friend.
I warn you, I won't settle for a stand-in.
What will it take to convince you?
What's a best friend to you?
I don't know. Let's say...
Someone who'd take risks for me.
What kind of risks?
Have you seen the time?
- A big risk? - Yeah, a big risk.
- What's the acid test? - I'll let you answer that.
- Good night. - Good night.
Morning, miss.
- I know you, right? - Yes, I'm your dad's taxi driver.
He's catching up on sleep.
Great soccer game. He cheered his head off.
- Who? - Your father.
- My father, a soccer fan? - Yeah!
Does he eat butter?
No idea.
- I was up all night. - One night is nothing.
The sleeplessness record is held by Randy Gardner from San Diego.
In 1965, at 17,
he went 264 hours without sleep.
- You're a student, right? - Yeah.
- Of what? - Asian archaeology.
Ruins, the memory of civilizations...
- Do you know... - Do you ever stop talking?
My wife... My ex says I do it so people won't hear me.
There are pecans in this. Very bad for you.
I've eaten it all my life!
Good reason to stop.
Pecans can cause respiratory allergies.
You care about my health?
Your father does.
He's really worried.
- Did he tell you? - Are you surprised?
A bit.
What's funny about it?
It's true.
How are you?
I made you breakfast. Sleep well?
- I need to talk to you. - OK.
How would you define a true friend?
- Someone who'll go to the limit for you. - Such as?
Lend you his cab if yours breaks down...
Don't you have...
Don't you have a clearer definition?
What's your definition?
A friend
is someone who'll take risks for me.
- That's not much clearer. - It is.
If I had big money problems, my friend would help me out.
As it happens, I do. I'm deep in debt.
- And? - Can I trust you?
- Friends don't ask that. - You're right.
In my business, sometimes I have to resort to certain schemes.
- Schemes? - Scams, if you prefer.
The question is, who can I ask?
- You can ask me. - Even if it's illegal?
- It's like a loan. - Like how?
An art theft. My vase.
- You're gonna steal your vase? - No, you are.
- And do what with it? - Keep it.
When the insurance pays up, I'll take it back.
You said a friend would go to the limit.
Yes, but that's the limit.
There!
Surprise!
Well done. You can put the vase down.
Meet Bruno, my best friend.
Sociable, smiling, sincere!
A masterpiece of a best friend.
- That's your surprise? - Nobody got hurt. Right, Bruno?
- What the fuck's going on? - Just a joke.
- A joke? - See what a risk my best friend took?
Faking a theft for the insurance?
How's that for friendship?
On his part, yes. But yours?
- Be a sport. I won the bet, right? - What bet?
Nothing. I'll explain. Champagne?
No, thanks.
Poor François. You lost before you started.
By making such a stupid bet, you proved you had no friends.
You never did and never will.
Tell her, Bruno.
Tell her you're my best friend.
Don't be like that. It was for fun.
For fun?
Where are the tears?
It's not your fault. He stinks.
We've always covered your overdrafts,
but, as I said to your partner, this deficit is excessive.
I'll cover it.
We can't simply take your word for it.
Take my share of the business.
That should cover it easily.
- And your partner? - She'll manage the gallery solo.
- You realize what this means? - Yes.
It's the price I have to pay.
Mind if I join you?
I had a call from Mom.
She asked if you were OK. I said no.
Was I right?
I'm taking a field course for my degree.
It'll last a year.
Where?
Cambodia.
- The Angkor temples. It's a dig. - A dig?
With your dust allergy?
It's gone. I'm cured.
It wasn't dust, it was food. Your friend saw it at once.
My friend?
Of course. You have no friends.
At the time, I thought
"He's started to care about other people."
But you hadn't.
Poor Bruno.
He fell for it.
- Sorry to burst in on you. - It's a pleasure. Come in.
Hello.
I'm worried about Bruno. I haven't heard from him.
Neither have we. It's been a week. Our boy's unhappy.
Did you know his best friend betrayed him?
You heard about it?
And how! He'd known Jean-Claude since school.
- Jean-Claude? - The boy next door.
His oldest friend. And closest.
They were inseparable. Until
J-C ran off with Bruno's wife.
- Didn't he tell you? - He still isn't over it.
- Losing his wife or his friend. - Both!
He trusted them. It was a terrible blow.
These wounds heal slowly.
He's still fragile.
It was touch and go.
Isn't it cute?
He's been collecting facts since he was little.
His dream is to be on a TV show, but they never pick him.
He's unlucky there, too.
To you, I'm just a fox like any other fox.
But if you tame me, we'll need each other.
You'll be unique in the world for me.
And I'll be unique in the world for you.
THE LITTLE PRINCE
Morning, sir.
Found your friend?
What's this? A fake?
No, that's the real one.
- I don't follow. - The delivery was late, right?
Actually, it wasn't.
I was having a replica made.
A perfect copy, right?
Whatever for?
The copy?
To protect us from the bank. And I was right.
Your stupid stunt nearly cost us the gallery.
200,000 euros in smithereens!
Your trick backfired on you.
You've learned a lesson. We're even.
- I lost the bet. - Forget it.
It never mattered.
Did Bruno know it was a fake?
No, and he thought his best friend was real.
You asked about the acid test. There isn't one.
I forget who said, "There's no love, only tests of love."
But the exact opposite is true.
There's no test. There's only love.
- It hurt me. - What did?
Your indifference.
What else would you have wanted?
I'd have liked to be your friend.
Excuse me.
- Mr. Delamotte's office? First floor. - Thanks.
You were right. I didn't deserve it.
- Yes? - It's Delamotte.
I've just received your package.
I don't understand.
Simple. You wanted it, it's yours.
But at what price?
- I assume you... - Only what I paid for it.
- Plus a small favor. - I see.
A favor one can only ask a friend?
No, I wouldn't ask you that.
- Bruno! - Are you in there?
- Bruno! - Bruno!
- Everybody's looking for you. - I can't!
- It's your life's dream. - I'll never make it.
- You will. Be brave. - No!
On the count of three, I'll break the door down!
One! Two!
Wait!
- What's the matter? - Your tranquilizer.
- You know it makes me... - Tranquil. Come on.
Time to go now.
- Which one? - In gray.
Mr. Balanchine? Étienne Delamotte.
I produce the show. Good luck.
No harm in it.
- The same to you all, naturally. - Thank you.
Bruno was picked out of a hat to fill in, they said. Is that right?
That's right.
Everybody on set! Showtime!
You're on, son.
Good evening.
Good evening and welcome to Who Wants to Be a Millionaire.
Hopefully one of you will answer all the questions, using three lifelines
and end up winning one million euros!
The fastest finger takes the hot seat. That means Bruno!
Bruno!
Bruno was not just the fastest,
he was the only finger on the button.
Feeling a draft?
- It's chilly in here. - Hot chili, or cold?
Let's go.
Steady!
Steady, Bruno.
You live near Paris.
You drive a taxi. Who's with you here tonight?
M-m-my...
Your m-m-my? No?
- My dad and mom. - Your parents, right.
You're nervous being on TV. Take it easy!
It's seeing you for real...
When I was a kid, I came home for lunch to watch you in Tic-Tac-Toe.
That dates us!
You know the game has three milestones...
If you win a lot, which I hope you do,
how will you spend it?
The usual dream? A beautiful house, a world cruise?
- Both. - Both.
A house on a desert island.
- You have no ties here? - No.
You're not married, then?
No... Yes, I think.
How's that?
I am. It's my final answer.
Here we have a very sociable contestant.
For 200 euros.
A person who leaves in a hurry is said to
A, take a bow,
B, take a hint,
C, take a dive,
D, or take a powder?
Take a powder.
Powder is right! Congratulations.
- Bruno? - I have a hunch, but...
- First thought best thought. - But fools rush in.
Yes.
Use a lifeline? You have three.
No! Yes...
Sorry, is that yes or no?
No...
I'll go for C. "The Citroen Song."
It's my final... You should do a question on famous last words.
- Sorry, what? - For example,
Elvis Presley's last words were:
"I'm gonna read on the john."
It's true!
It's worth a thought, Bruno. Thanks.
Thanks a lot.
The correct answer
is
answer
C, for Citroen!
Well done.
I think it's A. The diplodocus.
Of course it is. Right answer!
I know it's Scooby-Doo.
And you're right. Scooby-Doo is correct.
My guess is B,
Chicken Victoria.
It's your final answer?
Chicken Final is my answer, Victoria.
Sorry.
Bruno, if your answer is right, you have won -
come what may -
48,000 euros.
The right answer
is
Chicken Victoria!
48,000 euros!
Bruno, this is a unique moment in the history of the game.
We've reached - you've reached -
the top of the pyramid to face the final question
for one million euros
without using even one of your lifelines!
Ready? This question is worth one million euros.
Which painter did not take part
in the first exhibition of Impressionists in 1874?
Cézanne?
Renoir?
Manet? Monet?
Fuck!
- Sorry. - It's OK.
- It's a tough question. - Worth a million euros!
You're a brilliant contestant, but if you're in doubt...
- I'm not. - I'm impressed. No pun intended.
- I've no idea. I quit. - No, no, no.
You're allowed to use a lifeline.
- I know, but I'd rather... - Quit with three unused lifelines?
No, that would be idiotic.
I'll use the 50:50.
Good! That's sensible. Computer, please remove two wrong answers.
You're left with Manet and Monet.
That clears the air. Manet or Monet?
It does?
- I'll Ask the Audience. - OK.
Audience, get ready to vote,
but only if you know the answer.
Ready, go!
Oh, dear.
52:48. Just as I feared.
The audience is deeply split.
Let me recap.
Either you quit now and keep 300,000 euros,
a very tidy sum,
or you pick an answer and run the risk of falling back to 48,000.
But you still have one more lifeline.
- Phone. - Phone a Friend, of course.
Phone a Friend!
- I'd better quit. - Wait!
Please sit down. Why quit now?
- I've won a lot. - I know!
More than I could ever earn in a taxi.
You must have a friend who can help you.
Nobody can help. I have no friends.
Your Bruno is gold dust!
The ratings are sky high. He's touched people's hearts.
Well, Bruno?
I'll phone a friend.
- Are you sure? - Yes.
You look a little bit upset.
Not because of the game.
Who do we phone?
François.
Right. Phone your friend.
He's no friend, but he may know the answer.
Listen. Don't worry.
- Yes? - Hello, this is Jean-Pierre Foucault.
- Who? - He's pulling your leg.
I'm here with Bruno.
- I guess you're watching Millionaire. - No.
Even so, we need you for the million-euro question.
Here's your friend Bruno.
Yes, here's Bruno.
Hello, François.
- I didn't think you'd call. - Me neither.
You weren't top of my list of friends.
I guess not. Still, I'm glad we can talk.
It's not about that.
I have a question on art. I hope you can answer it.
Are you listening?
- Are you still there? - Yes.
I'd like to thank you for helping my daughter.
- Not at all. - Although I should have done it.
Right. You were too busy with your bet.
If criticism's all I get, I may as well hang up.
Be my guest.
- Do we hit the clock? - No! Let it run. I'm the boss!
You're angry, sure. I stabbed you in the back.
But I didn't know your other friend did too.
- Don't give me "friend." - Just let me say...
Be quiet.
You are - you were - my only friend.
Don't make me cry.
In The Little Prince. The fox says:
"If you tame me, we'll need each other."
You'll be unique for me. And I'll be unique for you."
How did you know that?
Tell me you're not too angry.
I need to hear you say it.
I'm not too angry with you.
I was at the time, but...
Sorry to barge in on your privacy, Bruno,
but maybe we should get back to the question?
Of course.
François, here's the question.
Which one of these two painters
did not take part in the Impressionist exhibition of 1874?
Manet or Monet?
- You understand the question? - Yes.
So?
It was Manet.
- Not a shadow of a doubt? - Not a shadow.
OK. Bye.
Bye.
Hold it. You might want to thank him.
Hello, François?
I... Hello?
So?
I'll go for
answer C. Manet.
It's my final answer.
If it's wrong, Bruno, you've lost 952,000 euros
and won only 48,000.
But if you're right,
you've won a million euros.
The answer, for a million euros, is
Manet! You were right! One million euros!
A million euros! Well done.
ONE YEAR LATER
Thank you, friends.
- Happy birthday. - Isn't that...
Thank you.
- It's a beauty! - Blow!
Magnificent.
Happy birthday, François.
Thank you. Thank you very much.
Excuse me.
Could I have the bill, please?
It's already been paid by that gentleman.
Happy birthday, François.
Thank you.
What are you doing here?
It's as good as anywhere.
Even your slice of heaven?
It was a slice of hell.
And your million?
It goes fast, especially if you're not in the habit.
So, you're back driving a taxi?
It's what I do best.
I brought you a gift.
- Should I open it? - Sure.
- Like it? - Yes.
- Who's that? - Dad's best friend.
I thought we had to watch our braking distance.
I see your daughter is back.
As if you didn't know.
I had no idea.
So, you came here tonight by chance?
Absolutely by chance, yes.
- Why? - No reason.
It's a happy coincidence, that's all.
- Want to hear the best bit? - Go on.
- Remember your vase? - That you demolished.
Yeah.
You said it was unique, right?
Well, we had drinks with the producer after the show,
and there was your vase.
- My vase? - No, but one exactly like it.
Are you sure?
I looked. It was the spitting image.
- Do those vases come in pairs? - Not normally, no.
See? Maybe you paid a fortune for a fake.
Don't you believe me?
You don't? How much do you bet?
- No more bets! - Just a friendly bet?
OK, a friendly bet!