LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, ELON MUSK!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
♪♪
>> THANK YOU.
THANK YOU.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
IT'S AN HONOR TO BE HOSTING
"SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE."
I MEAN THAT.
SOMETIMES AFTER I SAY SOMETHING
I HAVE TO SAY "I MEAN THAT."
[ LAUGHTER ]
SO PEOPLE REALLY KNOW THAT I
MEAN IT ALREADY
THAT'S BECAUSE I DON'T ALWAYS
HAVE A LOT OF INTONATION OR
VARIATION IN HOW I SPEAK.
[ LAUGHTER ]
WHICH I'M TOLD MAKES FOR GREAT
COMEDY.
[ LAUGHTER ]
I'M ACTUALLY MAKING HISTORY
TONIGHT AS THE FIRST PERSON WITH
ASPERGER'S TO HOST "SNL."
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
OR AT LEAST THE FIRST TO ADMIT
IT.
[ LAUGHTER ]
SO I WON'T MAKE A LOT OF EYE
CONTACT WITH THE CAST TONIGHT.
BUT DON'T WORRY, I'M PRETTY GOOD
AT RUNNING "HUMAN" IN EMULATION
MODE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
I'D FIRST LIKE TO SHARE WITH YOU
MY VISION FOR THE FUTURE.
I BELIEVE IN A RENEWABLE
ENERGY FUTURE.
I BELIEVE THAT HUMANITY MUST
BECOME A MULTI-PLANET,
SPACE-FARING CIVILIZATION.
THOSE SEEM LIKE EXCITING GOALS,
DON'T THEY?
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
I THINK IF I JUST POSTED THAT ON
TWITTER, I'D BE FINE.
[ LAUGHTER ]
BUT I ALSO WRITE THINGS LIKE,
69 DAYS AFTER 4/20 AGAIN, HA HA.
[ LAUGHTER ]
I DON'T KNOW, I THOUGHT IT WAS
FUNNY, THAT'S WHY I WROTE "HA
HA" AT THE END.
[ LAUGHTER ]
LOOK, I KNOW I SOMETIMES SAY OR
POST STRANGE THINGS BUT THAT'S
JUST HOW MY BRAIN WORKS.
TO ANYONE I'VE OFFENDED, I JUST
WANT TO SAY, I REINVENTED
ELECTRIC CARS, AND I'M SENDING
PEOPLE TO MARS ON A ROCKET SHIP.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
DID YOU THINK I WAS ALSO GOING
TO BE A CHILL, NORMAL DUDE?
[ LAUGHTER ]
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
A LOT OF TIMES PEOPLE ARE
REDUCED TO THE DUMBEST THING
THEY EVER DID.
LIKE, ONE TIME I SMOKED WEED ON
JOE ROGAN'S PODCAST.
[ LAUGHTER ]
AND NOW ALL I HEAR ALL THE TIME
IS, "ELON MUSK, ALL HE EVER DOES
IS SMOKE WEED ON PODCASTS."
LIKE I GO FROM PODCAST TO
PODCAST LIGHTING UP JOINTS.
IT HAPPENED ONCE.
IT'S LIKE REDUCING O.J. SIMPSON
TO "MURDERER."
[ LAUGHTER ]
IT HAPPENED ONE TIME!
[ LAUGHTER ]
FUN FACT.
O.J. ALSO HOSTED THIS SHOW IN
'79.
[ LAUGHTER ]
AND AGAIN IN '96.
KILLED BOTH TIMES.
[ LAUGHTER ]
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
ONE REASON I'VE ALWAYS LOVED
"SNL" IS BECAUSE IT'S GENUINELY
LIVE.
A LOT OF PEOPLE DON'T REALIZE
THAT.
WE'RE ACTUALLY LIVE RIGHT NOW.
WHICH MEANS I CAN SAY SOMETHING
TRULY SHOCKING.
LIKE, I DRIVE A PRIUS.
[ LAUGHTER ]
"SNL" IS ALSO A GREAT WAY TO
LEARN SOMETHING NEW ABOUT THE
HOST.
FOR EXAMPLE, THIS IS MY SON'S
NAME.
[ LAUGHTER ]
IT'S PRONOUNCED "CAT RUNNING
ACROSS KEYBOARD."
[ LAUGHTER ]
ANOTHER THING PEOPLE WANT TO
KNOW IS, WHAT WAS I LIKE AS A
KID?
THE ANSWER IS, PRETTY MUCH THE
SAME AS NOW, BUT SMALLER.
BUT WE CAN ALSO ASK MY MOTHER,
WHO IS HERE TONIGHT.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
HER NAME IS MAYE, LIKE THE
MONTH, BUT WITH AN "E" AT THE
END.
>> THANKS FOR SPELLING MY NAME,
ELON.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> MOM, DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN I
WAS 12 AND I CREATED MY OWN
VIDEO GAME CALLED "BLAST STAR"
ABOUT A SPACESHIP THAT BATTLES
ALIENS?
>> I DO.
I REMEMBER THEY PAID YOU $500.
BUT YOU WERE TOO YOUNG TO OPEN A
BANK ACCOUNT SO I HAD TO OPEN
ONE FOR YOU.
>> THAT'S RIGHT, WHAT EVER
HAPPENED TO THAT BANK ACCOUNT?
>> THAT'S NOT IMPORTANT.
[ LAUGHTER ]
YOU TURNED THAT VIDEO GAME ABOUT
SPACE INTO REALITY.
>> UNLESS YOU CONSIDER THAT OUR
REALITY MAY BE A VIDEO GAME AND
WE'RE ALL JUST COMPUTER
SIMULATIONS BEING PLAYED BY A
TEENAGER ON ANOTHER PLANET.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> THAT'S GREAT, ELON.
[ LAUGHTER ]
WELL.
BREAK A LEG TONIGHT.
I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH.
>> LOVE YOU TOO, MOM.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> AND I'M EXCITED FOR MY
MOTHER'S DAY GIFT.
I JUST HOPE IT'S NOT DOGECOIN?
>> IT IS.
[ LAUGHTER ]
OKAY, WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR
YOU TONIGHT.
MILEY CYRUS IS HERE.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
SO STICK AROUND AND WE'LL BE
RIGHT BACK!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
♪♪