please
southern counties radio the news sounded
[Music]
right if that will is that your ad can I
just say good afternoon this is still
BBC southern counties radio and if
you're a little bit bewildered and we
are not the usual hosts on their own if
you're listening in Sussex you have rich
in it this time in Surrey it would be
mark instead of which you have Jeremy
James and Richard we are the guys from
BBC's Top Gear on the telly kind of
sitting in the Sun yeah we are we we had
a bit of an argument the other day and
we thought that we might be able to do a
Drivetime show better than people who
normally do Drive toy shows my start was
poor it wasn't it wasn't as good as
perhaps it might have been no I've
already realized how difficult it is
with only two hours and what is that 54
minutes to go can I also say something
as the three of us I have done some
radio in the past a view I'm supposed to
know how it all works in here but AM to
be brutally honest I'm struggling
however our lines will be open
throughout the three hours and old you
know what kill you that noise yeah yeah
that's all the travel people what is our
fear that's the microphone oh yeah you
put something up there microphone abhi
what you're going to have is a lot of
sort of freestyle going on boys
yes I don't know what I'm doing I worked
on Radio Cumbria if you're listening and
you'd like to call us on Oh 8 4 5 9 5 7
double o57 usual number 8 4 5 9 5 7 mm 5
7 maybe you'd like to talk to us about
cars and I suspect that's a subject
that's going to be coming up more than
once between now and 7:00 o'clock in
fact Jeremy you're going to talk about
cars right now well sort of yes I've
been looking at the the front of the
Brighton Argos which is a newspaper and
the story begins parents using
four-wheel drive vehicles to bully their
way through the school round traffic
have been blamed for massive carbon
dioxide emissions which have to say so
has earthly fire first apparently the
story is that figures say that where
West Sussex is the seventh worst county
in Britain for buying green cars and it
according to the paper causes pollution
far harder the national average actually
only 2.7 percent higher but nevertheless
they built it into a huge story and I
think we've been joined on the line now
by a list MP number
inevitably is a Liberal Democrat with us
Richard Norman is with us now hello
Norman hello hello how are you I'm very
well thank you very much
good I'm Jeremy now this all sounds
terrible what's the problem with
four-wheel drive cars well I guess it's
a problem with vehicles which are
unsuited for the terrain in which
they're operating in Jeremy you'll know
that better than most after all you're
on record as saying I do have to say
that drivers are these things and cities
must be clinically insane too heavily
what they are absolutely clinically so
but I'm assuming that people who have
four-wheel drive cars instances though
only exist in cities in them and that
they do occasionally drive them into the
countryside well I know what's known as
a Jetta but I'm not objecting to people
using four-wheel drives for and for the
purpose of which were designed which is
a while frozen on in country conditions
but 62% of 4x4 drivers never ever leave
the road most of them seem to use their
4x4 is a kind of status symbol to get
around towns perhaps because they feel
it's safer for them perhaps because they
think it's a status symbol but either
way the only time they go off-road 20
minded pavement yeah well you say that
but there's another story I was really
going to paper today about councils try
to get people just shot people who are
driving their four-by-fours through on
the highways and byways out in the
countryside so these poor people can't
with those move on to the environment
'meme just on that what's the problem
with the carbon dioxide emission school
well that's that's um that's the Argos
Toria quoting but in general terms it
seems to me that if a vehicle in ur of
vehicle is allegis you have to pay to
drive it and correspondingly if it's a
very polluting beauty you pay more but
no helmet what percentage of carbon
dioxide produced by the earth is
produced by man I'm not off top of my
head now so you're going to tell me
percent yeah 3% so 97% comes from nature
3% by man so we need stuff like you
named Steve carbon dioxide and Liberal
Democrats a forever telling is that
there's huge man-made impact on the
environment it's actually a very small
amount really well I hope you're not
disputing what are the world's
scientists and in univille say about
climate change some of it then if
climate change is happening no no
is agreed on this yeah this is what's
causing it well absolutely but carbon
emissions have doubled it since the
Industrial Revolution no matter they
have a government no they haven't
all right man's contribution has doubled
though it's gone up to three percent the
content the the amount of carbon in the
atmosphere had doubled since 1760 so and
that's probably down to what we're doing
at human races note yeah well
undoubtedly we're all to blame and I
must go and commit suicide stated a lot
so do to them welcoming it thank you
very much and even coming on okay very
much yeah Jeremy it's quite a nice world
we've entered here what and we might try
me
we're just offered to commit suicide if
you're low is saying that wherever you
are listening across the two-and-a-half
counties Oh 8:45 9 5 7 w level it's
relativism used Sussex Northeast
Hampshire and sorry I'm dreadfully sorry
if I missed you at give us a call Oh
eight four five nine five seven oh five
seven maybe you'd like to have your say
on anything that Jeremy just said I
suspect you might hope it's not too
boring and serious though meanwhile and
James has been elected to be in charge
of the music well yes
well welcome pop pickers listeners there
so it's quite confusing because I was
hoping we'd have Wang Chung dancehall
days but I think we've got them these
are the boys are bar I thought he did
yes and the boys are back in town this
time I'm going to play the whole thing I
used it it's kind of an intro you press
the wrong button if you're delivering it
I'm slightly distressed you have to talk
over the info until they start talking
which is now no it's not you've got it
wrong you know rangamma 10 you know it's
not there et cetera because I'm never
reaching himself no you look at the BBC
first southern counties radio Richard
Jeremy and James wicket till 7:00
similarly there with the boys are back
in town and it's now 4:16 time for the
news headlines read by James Mays hello
yes this is James May on BBC southern
counties radio the Home Secretary
Charles Clarke says he won't resign over
his department's failure to check
whether a thousand foreign criminals
should have been deported on release
from prison well obviously this should
fool Downing Street has given his
support to the Deputy Prime Minister
John Prescott after revelations that he
has an affair with a secretary so it's
obviously okay and you have the Labour
Party's blessing
go and have one yourself the former
Labour leader Lord Kinnick has been
banned from driving for six months for
speeding the summary now this is the
weather summary warm withstanding spell
today local miss patches overnight
impeachment ad words rang to say is
great to hear you on the air and he
wants to know when you're gonna road
test the new Jaguar XK like today well
I've already done it actually will be
showing that in a couple of weeks now at
times say thank you James made the one
thing we were told not to mess about
with the news there and I think
successful I read the news you did that
well done and Jeremy's going to do the
travel some on BBC southern counties
great you travel it's not actually
travel as such what I've got though is a
revolution in the way that traffic news
is brought to you because instead of
telling you where the traffic jams are I
am going to give you the registration
number of the car that has caused them
what I've done here is I've fixed up a
link between the highways agency's
headquarters in God's turning story so I
can see all the traffic cameras from all
the motorways in the region and what's
happening is we've got an outside
broadcast truck app Godstone its firing
its signal up to a satellite 22,000
miles in space back down to White City
in London they're filing down to a
switching station in Tunbridge Wells and
here we are in the studio looking and I
if I can swing the camera around now we
can get it off the main pictures I can
even zoom in I know look there's Alison
he said hello Alex Leonie hi there
avid so you can now zoom in on that
picture there I'm sorry if you're
obviously blisters on the radio but
you'll be able to see this on TV
eventually if we can zoom in on this
picture here and you can zoom in and we
can actually see so we can get our
cameraman now to zoom in onto the pic
not there you stupid man onto the
picture there the Alison's picture it
now is can you zoom in there we are so
now we can start to see some people
driving in the middle lane for example
as a man they're in an Audi TT unwise
choice of car I think absolutely yeah
he's got the roof down he's in these
middle a there's another one
yeah no middle-aged drivers should not
have convertibles there's a motorcyclist
oh it's gone
I just touched the screen and the
motorcyclist appear to full up we just
zoom out there this is marvelous news
okay if we could see where I'm actually
looking there that would be very helpful
if this is a great help to the drivers
of the 17 no no but the next time we do
a traffic traffic bulletin I'm going to
be able to actually see the traffic jam
we can see who's caused the accident I
can give you the injuries they've
suffered I can give you damage to the
car their registration plate and
everything so what you've done genius
that you are Jeremy is bring pictures to
a radio station well done and Alison
you'll be there won't you so presumably
when Jeremy doesn't know where it is
you'll be able to tell it's really I
will indeed and marvelous thank you very
much in videos anything we do need to
know right now is it's fairly quiet
anyway a couple of firm's incidents
online of routes you want me to tell you
about those all right you may as well
while you're here why don't any couple
in 69 thank you very much indeed we'll
talk to you in about 15 minutes
radio if you have just doing this sorry
it's 20 past 4:00 you are still
listening to BBC southern counties radio
we've got Richard James and Jeremy we
are the guys from Top Gear sitting in
for Richard or Mark that you'd
ordinarily been listening to right now
and I feel it's gone well so far guys I
feel it's been a slow boat through the
house Richard with three minutes over
already looks like behind hisses for me
family come to Papa with your player you
have really strong beginners in those
Palladian it'll be good amazing well no
doesn't everyone I apologize a woman
watching here is literally just hiding
films about pushing buttons gay abandon
and motor you could always college okay
I did I was just testing that the record
was there for later on and I was
supposed to play something else there
but it's gone they can please you in
computers but it's also bad news because
it's the sport next and we're not gonna
be able to do that okay let's face it no
John is on the line from starring
tonello John Nick Nick from Horsham
hello Mick where's me Connors gone don't
let me down now I'm told I've got
callers here hello where I we've got
John and Nick John and Mick unit that's
fantast I'm enjoying they've got a man
coming in to hit something with a big
spanner which I will be pleased that one
there hello John and for before I know
that hi John and Jeremy here hello Jerry
not a professional how what are you
calling about well how about MP from
Lewis always infuriates me every time he
opens his mouth I'm afraid why is that
well he nobody signs what a four by four
ease it's a good point I mean the Fiat
Panda is a floor-by-floor I don't think
anybody would you know I ran Range Rover
and practice English used off-road
towing caravan tools box Susan whatever
I run it on gas but it's good for the
environment and my pocket mm-hmm but my
wife has got these 70 are all-wheel
drive no what does that mean my wife's
dead for driving a four-wheel drive
estate car or I'm driver driving a Range
Rover yeah I'm afraid of both according
to the local area both gotta commit
suicide there's anyone I mean what
you're doing is you're supporting local
industry there aren't you but a Range
Rovers were not local this British of
these so yes all those a good car yeah
yeah and now you know what the amount of
difference I think that you're making
really to the planet is so infinitesimal
just when there's a few wheels more of
being driven James what do you think
about I think you're absolutely right
people want to get worked up about
something and help the planet they
should go out and make some soup for
poor people and stop banging on about
what sort of girl be I would like I
happen unfortunately also to be at once
one of you've got a co-presenter
favourite people go so to a very large
Caravan
Volare oh yeah well you it was going
quite well and you know what I've got
the button I know which button it is a
net bye
hi hello I was charged on if you're
still listening to this I decided so
have you very much recording is lovely
talking to you ma'am Nick hello hello
hey Dan I'm fine yeah I must admit I've
arranged Rover owner as well
there's everybody's everybody in this
part of the country got a Range Rover be
nice to dr. Manhattan I'm just about to
trade it in for a new toerag Volkswagen
Touareg tow-rax and the roads wagging
tail rock you're not going to go with a
big diesel engine are you six 360s and
we're over these six that's alright what
you're going to say the v10 away to come
round your house and set fire to it god
no yeah let's have a tree with one of
those sorry yes no I did i uprooted an
enormous tree using a Volkswagen Touareg
and it called the entire underside off
yeah all right yeah well my argument is
the legalities of towing trailers naming
and Iver Williams is plated at three and
a half tonne you're limited to what you
can use you are I mean there's a with
that limit I remember the other day my
wife coming back you know we had a
Toyota Land Cruiser that she came back
with an enormous amount of stuff from
the garden center and she would have
actually needed an 8gb license to have
technically driven it because it was
full of so much stuff right yeah it's a
tricky one well thanks very much for
calling okay and I believe Richard you
have more pieces of paper being put in
front of you than you can shake a stick
at
so now it's moved in out in front of you
Jamie oh no what we've got here is a
couple - actually my thanks to Janice
she tells us that in Dorking High Street
a caravan has come adrift of the car
blocking one lane the police were in
attendance police are you armed
I hope they are they could take it out
and just shoot the drivers because
frankly if your caravans
come off how embarrassing is that I said
it was worse still having it attached or
having it come off and well no because
that everybody you're going to be in
tight holding up the whole of Dorking
High Street
you'd feel a bit of a Nellie wouldn't
you come on your cow enjoy little Amanda
nice tree oh yes Annie laughs yeah all
empty twenties over five minutes past
four nothing's gone wrong for a good
four minutes so I think we could be on a
roll in absolutely now many people were
rioting Michael Schumacher off I have
won a Grand Prix since the middle of
last year and that was a bit of a fluke
but his performance in the San Marino
four
one reason the weekends cause people to
sit up as he won ahead of reigning world
drivers champion Fernando Alonso John
lease is with me John hi I'm Michael
Schumacher he's not the back number is
he you have to say I'm I think he's the
greatest racing driver that ever lived
he just needs a machine though right and
Ferrari perhaps have got it right at
last what Michael Schumacher I think
does incredibly well is performing
adversity I was once told by his the man
who talked to him on the radio John bond
and not jump honored Ross Brawn that
most drivers when you talk to them ago
good concentrating so hard on just
driving the car you talked to Michael
Schumacher he's going there listen could
you get the jet ready at five and I'm
going to need those beige trousers
ironing he's just thinking about his
evening and going how they're driving
the car to him and he's obviously
adversity because it means you can
concentrate if things aren't going quite
so well like it's in Italy's got a win
there brilliant driver the question is
is it going to be this year that he's
going to pack up or we have another year
I mean he's going to go out on a high
don't you feel you're not going to let
it to limp away it would be very sad if
you were to be touring around at the
back in five or six years I think it's
very sad to seems a little wrinkled and
wetting himself and so on okay I skin
very embarrassing but I'd like to see
him have one more really great year yeah
80 something life wins knows more than
anybody no more pole positions than
anybody as well you know which of course
he achieved at San Marino the very place
beating at and Senna was out and was
killed
yeah but I mean Boris Becker is the
German we like everyone likes Boris
Becker yeah Michael Schumacher hasn't
quite got that reputation you know
hidden to the profit I've you know I met
him a couple of times and the first time
I met him he just started driving for
Benetton and he was the most arrogant
bombastic sort of you can see his head
sticking I need to try Daniel so unlike
John Carter we got on very well there
you go that's my god - men shouting weak
you know it was it was almost like a
batter first world war battle I bet it
really did I clearly saw coughing awful
and that but now he seems to relaxed
into in selling he's absolutely charming
and he's funny and he's obeying and he
you know speaks great English which
always helps with humor and so and I
like him a lot
can we one
Challenge for the Pearl titled Oh me it
would be the recession it has been a
procession in most recent years either
with them or something else another good
three to four seconds talk about Formula
One's but I'm not going to so I'm going
to play the record I played earlier on
behind the truth as if it is more than a
woman and it's gone down really it's not
more than a woman is you're more than a
number in motor the red book is one of
the top tank worst songs ever written
really didn't enjoy it you know can I
just say my name can I just say it do
you mind yeah her teammates don't share
I don't care my pictures are working I'm
able to report to you now ladies and
gentlemen that Junction 12
anti-clockwise on the m25 is grinding to
a halt I've also just seen a Land Rover
Discovery driving rather stupidly at the
slip road they're nearly taking the nose
offices uki GP but you're on either of
those cars we'd love to hear from you on
the Oh eight four five nine five seven
double a five seven yeah and also you
and the big blue Laurie can we zoom in
on that one can you just close that gap
you're holding everybody up I'm Alison
Mead BBC southern counties radio travel
remember Alison and now of course we
have Jeremy Jones supplementary travel
solutely Alastair you able to zoom in on
any offending drivers out down there for
me I can't actually get any closer
zoomed in as far as I can well it's okay
that'll do we've got our cameraman to
zoom in on that picture and I'll see if
I can bring you information where are we
here this is Thorpe Park on the m25
somebody's driving a smart car on the
outside lane I have to say that's very
very brave now who's this exact for
coming down into Volkswagen van now
you're leaving a 200-yard gap there now
close up and your tailgates open
have you no no no how much did the
satellite link cast I don't know but we
should if you able to swing the camera
around to the right Alison yeah did you
do that because it would be quite nice
to see if we can see what's actually
causing this Jam
righto this is marvelous somebody there
on a BMW x3 plainly mad shouldn't have a
driving licence
hitching to the very end this that's
just that's that grass words Webb lorry
drivers throw bodies oh look at that
now that's an alpha 159 there can we
zoom in on the man it's
woman please see this is what I'm now
looking are you listening to this have
you got red hair you're driving a blue
Alfa Romeo please be listening could you
wave to as if you are that would be
brilliant
no she sees that she's not one of our
listeners I think she's listening to
Radio 1 in there can we move on the only
one that isn't that have been brilliant
they would asleep we could have got us a
wave and oh there's somebody at home do
I get it off Jeremy thank you very much
d we'll have more of Jeremy's and
alternative travel show
[Music]
I supposed to be where they're happening
right now but it's not going to happen
softly what the weather is so long the
weather's gone the weather is fine the
weather it's a beautiful sunny afternoon
light cloud going dark about 8 o'clock
really you sure that all right well with
this boy a result that Merson believes
could determine all Rees decision here
on these days oh you've met to be
playing best player in the world on his
day and he needs Champion League
football BBC southern counties radio
sport I'm John Lee's yeah I think that
means he's finished BBC southern
counties radio the new sound of things
we're going to take a call oh there was
a bit of a treat by the way guys because
I had some jingles made up can I try one
out for ya okay this is it yeah let's do
at this one the name it's rubbish that's
a jingle is it
yeah it's ops up two four six eight
James May what was the next bit it goes
James May and sort of it drops off a
ball we didn't know what to put at the
end okay does the first jingle you
wanted to do a radio show you do want
you've got a jingle it's marvelous it's
thrilling you're not impressed
did you know I thought it was great I
can do this one
[Music]
I didn't even under you we are the guys
who please our paws there anything is
easy to do a radio program yeah ask a
technical question yes I've got myself
twice in my headphones so I sound like
about amen and pressed a button and I
always bust it happen there that's not
Apple you're not going to talk about
your satellites travel again Oh Jeremy I
just like to say the m25 is flowing
freely on the bit that I'm looking at it
so if you're going there you're okay
Laurie hello hello Rory's on the line
from Midhurst is that right well I'm
coming back from this from work a low
and low income I like ya are you want a
hands-free malarkey oh I'm on hands-free
but I've actually stopped as well wow
that's like belt and braces
you can tell it's hands-free it's not
working properly pantry is just another
way of saying broken I wonder where you
I paid a lot of money for this well
hands-free I take it back to the shop if
I were you I don't want one of our guys
did he blue taxis telephone to the
dashboard and put it on speakerphone and
shouted at you yeah where are you when
we see you on our satellite link so when
just go me can where I oh my god but
I've just turned onto the pasture 272 on
to the road that goes on roaring I've
got no no no no it's not Maury on over
270 270 is one of the worst roads of the
whole of the world I've gone to pet
works and I'm now turned on so it might
be the 286 for one that goes up past our
track I know exactly where you are
you're very near where our old colleague
TIFF Needell used to live and it's a
good job you're not there on the screen
that I'm looking at because that's very
trafficking well I didn't really into
toll road numbers because it's oh no I
mean for a man to say that i disguised
off work early because i heard this
morning there is going to be this
fantastic surprise and um all right we
don't wait for that what is it somebody
coming in making ISM so Maureen can I
just get your full name your Maureen
it's well am I allowed to say um yes
Maureen Sanchez and Maureen census and
and where do you work I work
or area manager for a home care company
so if anybody wants any home care this
afternoon they've had it
well more like all the bottom did you
have anything you wanted to ring in chat
about yeah yes yes it's a it was well
worth skyping off work enjoying the
banter its link isn't it I think we're
good I think a bit more II thank you
very much indeed
Adam Thank You Maureen you called it
Adam from West Sussex yeah hello there
hello Emma hi Adam hello Jerry
yellow think of the hello yes hello we
thought we do nobody right James Richard
and Jeremy and we're talking to you
Adams you want to sort of wear badges
that might be nice no no come on Ellen
what have you called whore mode right
well I understand you wanted to speak to
somebody that's and that hasn't got a
Range Rover yeah W yet he's indeed I
possess ie mark three times a Hilux oh
yes I'm a three what a man
oh yeah why don't you have an accident
in it if you won't hurt I have III well
I have I have had three and I've written
three vehicles off with it well that's
unbelievable because the Taliban taxi is
the toughest thing I've ever driven
thank you I mean other vehicles or you
written off three Highland yeah no I
written I've written off three other
vehicles oh you just sort of drive
around deliberately crashing into people
there no no no not exactly no but for
those several points I want to rise is
is I live in a very rural area and I
find it extremely frustrating when I've
gotta be should be careful here there
when you see women driving driving now
that's where you see that what you do
know these you're stereotyping nuns as
my wife drives our twelve seater Land
Rover station wagon it is better at
parking than anybody I've ever seen and
I can't get there I don't got out when
we become well we didn't we didn't quite
that in Tennessee says he doesn't like
seeing women drivers or imagine the
really so in their clothes I don't like
to see women driving in clothes but
maybe in a large what was it going to be
well don't wait up
hello hello yeah yeah well I mean I
enjoy but I'm I mean I working in a lot
of rural areas and I was twenty very
lockers
very very frustrating because I mean not
like I say I've got to be very very
careful because so many of them they
seem soon they expect you to move for
them
will you keep crashing into them by the
standards every three vehicles are funky
ever they weren't my fault that wasn't
my fault no it never is me but no it
wasn't but time but the other thing the
other the other point being is that I
mean I use my vehicle for exactly what
it is designed for I mean I I fun sort
of fencing all down through fields I
extract log side and I like you just
have to pay you've had your burb your
text their disco up by 80 pounds now but
because they've got to touch each other
yeah I know it's amazing
I mean it's classified as any state
vehicle because I because I mean that is
that this is where I use it and and for
I mean it gets I mean it probably gets
cleaned twice a year Adam I don't keep
you on the line in case you have another
crash and it's a good inline you
probably were sad and thank you very
much Adam in West Sussex a little bit
disgruntled with everybody Steve in
Brighton hello Steve all I might are you
in a better mood no well yes and no yes
yes or no yes or not I mean you call
these people you
you got all over the guy you because of
the environment and all this now are you
I've used public transport all my life
I've never had a car never thought she'd
afford a car I can honestly say I hate
it I would get a good public transport
oh boy do i I will get I would get a car
tomorrow if I could
if you get us your fill up your Janos
yeah we abused you yeah we are trying
there never one time no always a handful
of your bows and drugs
yeah man step using public transport and
not desperately pleased with it Steve
thank you very much deeper call again
you're welcome to do the same Oh 8:45 9
5 7 mm 5 7 it's 16 minutes to 5:00 we
should be doing the headline soon but we
can just squeeze yeah we just got one
here as a text in from Sophie and
Guildford she says programs like Top
Gear effectively promote fast cars which
are responsible for so many deaths and
accidents bring back Richard and Mark
who the other ones out there usually on
this program oh well I'm sure we aren't
as good
I do apologize Sophie in guilford it
should discuss exmark this sorry oh I'm
so encouraging because we have a
racetrack we don't do our fast driving
well we do a bit of fast driving on the
road yeah but not very folia there we go
we only ever go in the speed let's have
some music James you're in charge yes
I've got a selection oh no no don't tell
me as promised earlier it is Wang Chung
and dancehall day
oh you sprung that on me rather do you
want to do that again James as promised
earlier it's Wang Chung and dancehall
day maybe just once more for me may just
play something else though it's right if
no I feel I just apologize hello lovely
people of the southern counties
whichever ones those are this is James
may have Top Gear's standing him for the
bloke who normally does this and indeed
the other two Jeremy and Richard who
have walked out of the room and gone to
the lavatory because they think that's
terribly funny leaving me all my other
doesn't matter here is the news the
Tories say the Home Secretary Charles
Clark should resign after he released
more than a thousand foreign prisoners
instead of deporting them or indeed just
leaving them in the claim where they
belong
big issue sellers in Brighton will get
their magazines delivered to them from
this weekend because the office in the
center of the city is to close down I
don't know why they're having them
delivered I thought they were supposed
to sell them anyway Downing Street is
backing the Deputy Prime Minister John
Prescott after it was revealed that he
had an affair with one of his
secretaries not the Home Secretary
Charles Clark who's the bloke who's
supposed to be in the clangor his
personal secretary I believe the weather
warm you knew that because you'd looked
out of the window we would like you to
phone in with some interesting stuff
about cars or Top Gear or how rubbish we
are on the radio in fact the number is
Oh eight four five nine five seven zero
five 708 four five nine five seven five
seven or you can text us Oh double seven
eight six two oh seven oh seven Oh which
I'm supposed to read as Oh double 786
20 70 70 but please don't do that the
whole reason that Alexander Graham Bell
developed the telephone was so that we
could talk to each other not write to
each other right let's have a look at
what's next on this running order it
BBC southern counties may you travel
Alison we have Jeremy to prevent we
travel we do indeed just to let you know
that the own 25 at Leatherhead Junction
nine flowing absolutely beautifully in
both directions and that's as a result
of the newfangled traffic thing that I'm
doing nobody dare you anything wrong I
just like to say though why did we
bother building four lanes look at that
nobody on the inside two lanes of a
single person Wesley it's done we've had
a phone call from Stefan hail some hi
guys real pleasure to have you on the
radio you stand like three naughty
schoolboys we are yeah pretty nice the
traffic with BBC southern counties radio
oh look at that it's eight minutes to
five odds a bit disappointed agenda I
wanted you to cry hmm don't be
ridiculous
it's just her eating off a bit of paper
in we got Helen on the line hello Helen
hello Richard hello I don't know where
you're calling from
I'm calling some funny Heathfield funny
he feels him there is a school there yet
I was a school in most places that yeah
but there is your famous school that he
failed anyway do go oil yeah well this
is really important because my best mate
pansy Potter as we call her is 40 today
oh happy birthday and she's been bought
a brand new car good unless it was a
Toyota Prius with no she has been
upgraded for a very tacky Suzuki Swift
which she successfully managed to wreck
in the period of six years and he's been
bought an Astra brand new black castor
and she's really excited brother bad we
were just saying on the way down here
today because we were quite bored with
one another's company and let the
Vauxhall Astra is really not a bad
looking car more interesting than that
is that third song in the background it
is I'm outside yes very nice oh there's
a bit now here we go I'm sorry to
interrupt I'm sorry to interrupt but we
have actually coming zoom in on this
camera here m25 beggars Lane 7a we've
got some kind of an incident I'm not
losing winning so that we've got a crash
let's be honest we've got a crash it
looks like a big one that is a crash
it's going to be held up there so now
you've been wrong that is very nice
Tweety Bird song hello and thank you
very much and happy birthday yes a can
you just tell her that she has got to
clean her car this is
point please ring the other one she's
got to look after it wash it every
Sunday no no no she must not do that
oh gee ma you must not Joe James I must
fundamentally disagree on that a car is
just to be designed to be used in movies
never waste time cleaning it have a man
my hardly gets out of the washing up
every Sunday because he has to clean his
car I've always said that I want to be
rich enough in life at the end of a meal
to just take the four corners of the
tablecloth with everything on it and put
it all with the bill I just love to be
able to accept that's my habit he likes
Kim the Chi Doctrine mine as well so
that's a change James I've got a theory
on that well I've got a question
actually for the listeners which is if
you use a jet wash should the bonger on
each cycle go off at the end of the
cycle or in the middle I think it should
go off in the middle because then you
know whether to speed up or slow down so
I have no idea what you're talking about
now you haven't do you see that thinking
about that a lot yeah that well I think
it is important they all go off at the
end but if the bomb goes off at the end
of the foamy brush cycling you've only
done the bonnet you've had it and they
just say m25 Beggar's Lane and it's
Junction 7a by the looks of things
they've put one of those matrix signs up
flashing the speed limit of I think it's
30 or 50 miles an hour just after the
scene of the accident which indicates
some really very people are very low IQ
or running that accident scene they're
nice do you run an accident scene well
somebody's running exactly because they
just basically every single police car
in southern Britain has driven down
their high speed part on the hard
shoulder with flashing warning lights on
it's a good time to speed in the rest of
this if southern counties yes we can
actually reveal that there are one two
three four police cars in attendance
there which means that there won't be
any for hundreds and hundreds of miles
and I invite fern from Farnham to join
and breathe through this conversation
hello fern hey how you doing great we're
all right how are you very good thank
you what you're phoning in about and
basically I'm really keen to become a TV
presenter at some point I'm still at
school but you know that's what the
point and I love Top Gear and I was
wondering how you got into it well well
believe it or not Richard Hammond
started out as a local radio you enjoy
it you tell him I'm a local television
reporter and that's a local newspaper
reporter and James started out
well I rang them up essentially right
okay I'm getting that user five reset
your career on the right path I think
yes sir that yeah and then one day it
could come full circle and you could end
up in a radio station doing a radio show
on the telly or gets a bit confusing
Oh eight four five nine five seven
double-o five seven is the number as
always to call us on BBC southern
counties radio we'd love to hear from
yes Jeremy we have to start a record
soon yeah no I'll do it I just have the
locations today for the mobile speed
cameras I've taken the trouble to get
those these are the where they put the
mobile you know the civil servants that
sit in vans angering a 20-7 hammer port
Worthing the boulevard little hampton
loade and marine parade patching a 280
280 Eastbourne lost which drove hastings
the red Willingdon a double to seven
hours porn road battle e27 one north
fade road first one so that's in France
with civil servants as I was saying this
one so ad71 Hilton Road a 308 days
bypass CT for a Kingston Road stains and
the a 31 Hobbs back central sections
Guildford now back is public service
broadcasting it's we're telling you
where there are civil servants in vans
ready to ruin your life thank you
service we're providing for you I'll be
using southern counties ready
Richard Hammond Jamie classic James
played with you until 7:00 it's very
shocking time agrees what are we doing
in the next town
anybody have to sign up into paper I've
got we haven't done any time of your
life no we haven't but we need to have
that interest we haven't actually done
there are you looking at about
never thought to do this
[Music]
it's not 5 o'clock yet 95 thousand views
that won't well only if you continue to
play this noise hey Jeremy you made the
news did you hear that
yeah mentioned you in there now I was
mentioned I've never been mentioned in
news before ever right weather
I know we got travel because BBC
southern counties breaking travel if
you've just joined us you melet me aware
Richard Hammond down the classic James
made from the top gear sort of trying to
get through doing a radio program this
afternoon and Jeremy has got an
incredible system satellite uplinks
whereby he can actually see the travel
as it happens and let us know exactly
what is going on around the roads around
your county so Jeremy what have you got
look at the feeds broken
we've got nothing held for P so nervous
the feed has gone on to some men in a
room in quite a complicated feed it
actually goes from the highways agency's
Center and then it goes to London and
via the satellite then some B's Wells
and then here and somewhere along its
broken Allison if you go on each other
I'll come to the professional ok yes
please right out of the hallway we've
got a couple of pockets of slow traffic
on the end 25 the both anti-clockwise
the first one is thirty nine to twelve
that same turn to the entry there we've
got an accident on the side and
multi-vehicle accent just a flex racket
laying services know that halfway
between six and five between Godstone
and Seven Oaks is all on the hard
shoulder with a quite a few emergency
service vehicles there and so everything
obviously is all slowing down everyone
wants to have an Illinois yeah Alex yeah
you're able to see who is responsible
for that can you make out a make of car
or registration lane I don't actually
get close enough I'm afraid but there is
a lorry there's a big white lorry I saw
that before I loves the feed what I'm
trying to do is get names and addresses
of the people who are responsible for
holding everyone up it isn't the rubber
necker's is Jesse once said if you've
been held up in a traffic jam you're
entitled to have a Gore put the bloke in
the next place that you are
I may have to wash my hands with this it
is remarkable I don't blame the rubber
now because it's the idiot sort of
crashed into each other okay well these
cues because of the videos and are all
idiot me see you rubbing off on me
making me bad
okay the cue the back table spoon right
now and that's about it for the m25
clockwise is fine a little bit of local
road news very slow in rye on the 85
nine eastbound between the 86 eight and
the rye Road got an accident in battle
on the a2 71 north trade road that's
affecting both directions between the
High Street and West End but everything
on public transport looking good and
that number I think do you want the
number in case there the German I do
want the number if I do get a satellite
feedback people can update us with any
traffic news then on Oh 8 four five nine
five seven zero five seven I'd also like
to hear from anybody if you don't mind
here is driving behind someone on the
motorway he's breaking unnecessarily and
often because this is my new baton wah
so if you're following someone who's
just occasionally hitting the brake
lights and you can't just drive at a
constant speed give me a ring given that
number plate will read it out BBC's
southern counties radio the need sound
effects
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
you got your own jingle man come on it's
very poor how much did you spend making
those I think I got a float you had a
computer and you did it bagging around
yeah
winning the Derby oh yeah so I owe you a
lot big messages very quickly pand daven
Farnham on the sent a text as they love
the show thank you David the text member
if you want to do that if there were
seven eight six twenty seventy seventy
what do you think the BMW x4 says Jackie
in pulbrook pullbacks for hmm think I'm
right in saying there's no sex playing
and they have an Isetta lutely right
there isn't such a thing jack in for
well I think they rapidly don't have a
thought that no I think there's been a
texting error thing I know exactly what
z4 is what divers hole or extra life but
I suspected to be a Zed for and actually
I used to hate it and now I don't
anymore what it's a poison cloud rolled
on I don't care if we are doing a radio
program
you what I used to hate the Zed for and
now I don't anymore
we had stood in that studio and argued
ourselves horse over that one yes I
still prefer the Honda s2000 but I'm
just saying I used to hate it and now I
don't
and now it's time to go over central it
to the argument anyway it is irrelevant
I'm not interesting for most of the
viewers so let's good move on to down
until it's all secret
nope all seriousness what not
interesting for most of it listen did I
say viewers I moved out of that it's a
menace to the ID apologize of the
television camera tell them tell them in
Brighton look there's Peter Mandelson on
the on the television right let's go
over now to Paul secret political
correspondent and and there because this
might be quite a David Tony but well
this might be a day Tony Blair would
like to forget his home secretary
Charles Clark is facing calls to resign
over bundling the release of foreign
prisoners deputy John Prescott admits to
an affair with one of his secretaries
that lasted two years
so Paul southeast political
correspondent what's going on well let
me give you some idea of that
bad it is for Charles Clark of course
yesterday he admitted a thousand foreign
prisoners had been freed and today that
he admitted even up he found out about
it that even more were released because
they're basically it seemed that various
departments within the Home Office
didn't really know what what they were
doing today several calls for him to
resign and some opposition MPs have even
said that that youth Lee could make a
better job of running the Home Office
and Charles Clark that said no it really
had normally I'd sort of dismissed that
but I'm genuinely a staggered you know
he said he's very well aware that
foreign prisoners including murderers
pedophiles and rapists were being freed
when they could have been deported yet
it continued I mean how is that possible
I think we should I mean I debt to be
honest I think that he's why the the
more and more MPs are beginning to call
for him to resign I think when the news
broke yesterday if you'd asked me
yesterday whether he was going to
survive I would have said yes he was on
news night being given a grilling by
Paxman held his ground ground admitted
he was sorry admitted he'd considered
resigning and many people thought maybe
he'd weathered the storm but today to
actually admit that even after he found
out about these releases that even more
people were released I think he's going
to find it very difficult to survive the
the next 48 hours do have a fairly Rough
Riders Home Secretary do you think you
is going to survive this one well he's
lucky that he's got the backing of Blair
he's one of the one of the people that
Blair relies on these is a tough cookie
he's used to sort of that you know a bit
of a street fighter can fight his way
out of most situations or Blunkett
remember had the support of blow yeah
and indeed Mandelson but all that so
it's not necessarily a guarantee that
you're going to survive I think it kind
of depends on if there are any more
revelations that come out in the
tabloids in the next couple of days and
if the Sunday just are still talking
about this scandal then you know it was
what asta can we used to say if you've
been in the news for seven days and
maybe it's time that you have to step
aside so there any newspaper reporters
listening let's keep writing about it
now the deputy prime minister of course
john prescott has apologized to his wife
after having well the possibly the most
stunning are already an affair yes if
you haven't seen The Daily Mirror I
would assume it's genuinely I mean
my first thought was it's the mirror
it'll be wrong but the photos they dole
dentling the photos are damning that and
he has now apologized for it what can he
survive this I mean he's punched me well
he's been incompetent he's built a bus
lane could he survive this one there are
those that say he's untouchable because
he he's just adored within that the
Labour Party I mean if you if you were a
real cynic you'd say that what a
coincidence on the on the day that the
pressures really mounting on Charles
Clark suddenly that the Prescott story
comes out and that's on the front pages
of many of the tabloids and Clark's
inside yeah obviously I'm not a cynic
and I wouldn't even hint but you did if
you did bring that up Wow you did bring
that one up so it is because I didn't
kill him he didn't sidon it yeah if you
can survive the building of a bus lane
on the m4 which he did I mean he's
responsible for that he can survive
anything but yeah on a serious note is
having an affair does that mean does
that affect the way you do your job you
know and you can argue that it doesn't
it shows that he's only human and so
well know like is he I mean really if
you take his shirt off easy actually
human I've been I just gently look at
this photograph thinking that that girl
you know she's had an affair with him
without being sick that's the most
amazing part of it for me that's some
good political analyses there from James
it's a it's a revolting concern our
pleasure there's somebody out there for
everyone yep evidently I mean you would
have looked at John Prescott and thought
it was impossible so you do I mean
here's seen as me as the sort of that
there's still the left side absolutely I
mean I don't think there's any question
that he is not going to survive this I
think he will survive it and with that
there's been no calls today for him to
stand down I mean I it's just a personal
issue it's not a political issue and
whereas I don't think Charles Clark will
necessarily survive the week I think
John Prescott will be there for the
foreseeable future and of course
historically this kind of thing just
tells to bolster Tony blow even more
he'll go up in the polls
Tony Blair or John Prescott himself I
mean I don't know Tony Blair he seems to
do very well out of these crises always
yeah he does but I mean the timing the
timing isn't good for him but with with
local elections taking place on just
over a week next Thursday made a fourth
and it's not the kind of publicity that
you you want and people do tend to it's
issues like this do to intend to affect
the way people vote locally
even though of course it's national
politics so even if Tony Blair comes out
of it in the in the long run more
popular I do think that he will be
majorly concerned about the impact that
it could have on polling day next
Thursday slightly well thanks very much
for joining us Paul torture soup thank
you very much indeed Paul that's quite
grown up then Jeremy so he will get it
was really good and then you got to the
bit about the affair and it got bit no
but I'm sorry don't you find it
genuinely amazing that John Prescott's
has had an affair yeah there's plenty
people that lose leverage I have affairs
and they're struggling to have one yeah
and then there's him no no because I
think how many people are sitting alone
at home yeah they'd love and they'd love
to have a girlfriend or boyfriend he's
got to he looks like that it's amazing
two boyfriends no he's got two lovers
[Music]
you see quality workmanship John rubbish
handcrafted for us they work Joe hello
hello there hello how are you you're
coming from Guildford that's right yeah
well done for that yeah what do you call
again Bulger I wanted to say that's what
I absolutely love Top Gear I think it's
the best program on telly I like what's
on TV
i watch the peaks in those days because
it's better than what's on the main
channel yes well I've been driving for
30 years and I have to say I do not get
why you guys like cars I love to show
but I do not get the interest with cars
rescinding James is simple I like I like
fast people who say why do you like fast
I can get home more quickly it really is
it genuinely I delivered at the end of a
road that have a 15 mile drive for the
motorway to my house if I have a car
with less than 500 horsepower cars ever
take anybody it's more than 500
horsepower and get back quick bit more
quickly I see the children law read them
a bedtime story they're less likely to
be glue sniffers they're there for 500
horsepower or more silly it's response
it enriches people's long it's almost
your parental duty I mean and I think I
hate to do but I agree on that okay that
up shows that makes sense but it's
better than just just speed is it
because you guys can
go on for hours about the relative
merits of different cars and today you
know it's funny physical to talk to
people about anything else
no got for an engine and for we also all
same ok do you think furniture is all
the same you see that's the good thing I
could remember who's that the big woman
the drinks a bit on telly
well that's narrative judy richard and
judy she okay she wanted to be all cars
are exactly the same he just think okay
well i even go home tonight in a russian
in a larger of some sort or a robin with
all you can gonna rolls-royce which one
are you going to choose kind of I know
you mean I've had my mother for 44 years
and always said oh you know it's all the
old cars are exactly the same but I
really want a Honda Civic yeah it's got
to be that one that's the same as
earlier this Joe thank you very much
people calling in I feel we've answered
your question for you there it's 17
minutes past five Jeremy's straining it
yes you get my feedback my satellite is
back and I'm able to reveal that the m25
is a nightmare
we'll get detailed we do the headline
ooh that can we yes gone stoking James
May has the headlines I do is getting
boring already the Home Secretary
Charles Clark is now rejecting calls for
him to quit after admitting a thousand
foreign criminals were released from
jail instead of being deported the form
of Labour leader Lord Kinnick has been
given a six-month driving ban after
admitting two separate charges of
speeding on the m4 motorway I think he
was also finite under bans and
apologized for that's okay and the
health secretary Patricia here it has
been heckled and jeered while delivering
a speech to the Royal College of
nursing's annual conference in
Bournemouth after she told in the past
twelve months was the best on record for
the NHS no that was a new I'm surprised
you didn't have something amputated the
weather it's still warm
and there's still some variable cloud
and I'd have a quick complaint actually
oh sorry if you want to phone in and
talk to us about anything that's all I
wait four five nine five seven double o
five seven yes and I'd explained about
the music as well because in any made
music my responsibility and I try to
fill this system up with you know King
Crimson and Steely Dan and lots of other
things from Jeremy's record collection
and mine and but now I look at this
playlist and it's full of Robbie
Williams and a lot of soft I defy you
I'm Stefan got some buttons on press or
Annette fellows
sorry are you going to do to the channel
Jeremy go it's all completely hopeless
thank you very much that to travel with
Jeremy Clarkson BBC southern counties
radio travel yeah
no no really it genuinely is at the m25
I'm looking I've got the feeds coming in
from everywhere I can see people in
Astra's I can see the some chap in a
he's bought a Jaguar and he's had it
finished in a kind of brown color
I'd hate to be stuck behind that yes
stuck behind an enormity everywhere this
is the m25 plackets oh there's a
broken-down van here there's a man
standing at the side of the road if
you're listening to is why don't you
give him a why don't you pip at him and
tell him you know your car still works
and his doesn't something helpful like
that I think it might be a police car no
it's not police car it's a broken-down
van and it's Junction
well I've just got five six j6o between
junctions six and five on the m25 way
but one it's not see the important thing
I want the visa waiver I want some
Lister's waiver for the people on Kings
coaches everyone on the thing with a
coating is there that this is business
between Junction five and six or six and
five going that way because the most
important thing I will really want to
stress with this travel thing is it is
my responsibility I find to get you all
home more quickly into the bosom of your
families sitting in your cars listening
to this is a waste of time a travel
shows was a Drivetime shows
responsibility is to make sure people
listen to it for the smallest amount of
time that's quite impassion I know it
wasn't come on all of you all you people
going the other way you in the in the in
the vote Mercedes go quicker faster put
on some fast music day well this is
where we can write what have you got a
Hammond because quickly Zoe knows BMW
said three hurry up
we're not do music yeah well it all
these people anyway
we're not do music I'll do it
the knees down discussing BBC southern
counties media we are two objects mmm
Sussex yeah about those who's got the
word sex in it thank you James May
twenty thirty minutes past five I've
know you want to do some music what do
you want I'm not going to play it yet
but while we say it says here seventeen
seventeen disc JN that means music I
wanted Steely Dan it says here that
we've got Robbie Williams which I don't
want so what else have you got there on
your box a trick oh you write it I've
got a I've got I've got I've got that
Arthur it says I've got I can't have you
we've on element I've got the fire
writing object determine if you play
Drive yeah
I'm kill me I'll kill you as well this
traffic jam now at Junction five is just
horrific
you know if you're at the back of it
just pull over the hard shoulder and
have a picnic because honestly have you
got
oh no look at that I'm 25 at 39 ox Ted
it's had it God's donuts had it foster
town it's had it just I'm screwing it up
oh it's not particularly helpful what
you're telling them there no I just
thought honestly I just I can't find
that we can't get the cameras onto the
cars that are actually causing the
traffic jams and I play some music yes
[Music]
no Robbie Williams Robbie Williams
Christmas fine staple can you find a jam
in that system the example that we're
playing and have Robbie Williams in his
name I'm Richard James and Jeremy with
you from Top Gear one of us said how
hard can it be to host a radio program
it was Jeremy and how hard is it
it's I'm doing rather well really yeah
you think I'm pushed a single wrong
button I've pushed all of the wrong but
I pushed I pushed anybody and your
travel stuff of what now you you've got
I should explain Jeremy's managed to
establish an incredibly complicated
satellite link for his special travel
stuff which has been bringing us updates
on all afternoon
now before we do more can I just talk to
Michael hello Michael hello hello you
rang in what do you want to talk about I
would like to ask Jeremy first I'm on
the m25 between Junction 9 and 8 in the
big brown UPS man that you want be me on
the camera we'll have a look you 9 and 8
you between a knight and a house yet
we'll see if we can call that camera up
between 9 and 8 yeah I'll be just going
through eight and it's a problem can I
just say are you where are you heading
anti-clockwise as you got my thoughts
it's like three okay you've got to see
Roby are you turning off at the m23 okay
I am yet oh you're okay but I do have a
very important message for a motorist
who are on the m25 now heading
anti-clockwise past Junction 7 which is
the m23 turnoff there is a long
wheelbase hundley stuck in the traffic
jam there I'm actually operating that
even if you've got a full tank of fuel
now he will have run out and be blocking
the outside two lanes in the next five
or 10 minutes so I'd have waited that
long loving it does that mean it's one
of those it's a stretch
is there someone idiot and put a stretch
at hungry yeah hon quality is sitting in
a massive traffic jam even if it's got
60 litres of fuel in it now forget it
ten minutes I'll be out so I'd get off
on the m23 mate as quickly as possible
thank you quick question yeah Aussie the
champion car all right
savviest anything Richard Hammonds got
hanged ladies s okay totally right clive
on the n25 is calling Othello Clive
hello there hello how are you and let's
head up as I can't work out whether
honest why speak
in off the m25 or not offer it I'm
telling you now man it's a nightmare I
can't find a single picture on my feed
here which is coming from space and
Tunbridge Wells that shows that that's
I'm sorry which was that hang on which
these are all and anti-clockwise seems
to be absolutely appalling tonight so
what'd you I'd go the other way around
look at that this is that everybody five
god stones jammed up at Junction six ox
Ted it's completely jammed up barrow
guack don't use it don't use it stay at
work be productive and by helicopter
climbing energy surging air travel
report yeah much a solid Jeremy
travelling through France I think you
ought to spoil it
we're trying to get out and where where
are you and where are you trying to get
to I'm going to Junction eight and I'm
trying to get to Junction pot eight and
four which way you're going then -
you're going going anti clockwise
anti-clockwise you my son have had it oh
I don't really you've had it because of
Junction seven you're going to hit the
back end of a nasty Jam yeah I don't do
more than that you've had up that's a
personal traffic service yes I
appreciate that Jeffrey bc2 s biggest
motoring show I mean that's that's what
I call and travel report yeah I'd rather
he was driving 100 mm through France
though yeah I would you know what having
said I now wish our alarm to 2003 France
instead of which I'm doing personal
traffic reports for people phoning in
here anybody else need personal traffic
reports I have to hurry because we may
lose the feed again any minute now wait
for five nine five seven seven oh four
five seven you're welcome to give us
that he didn't like it
he likes that so I forgots talking to a
microphone then it wasn't very bright
but he's going to get stuck in that Jam
go know that Jeremy Clarkson is rubbish
then he's going to be stuck at all we
should listen to it it's half past five
BBC southern counties radio travel hello
is that me that looks link that's me and
I'm here to tell you that it's great
what is the m25 the bit I'm looking at
now is great Allison can you hear me
over in the traffic center up there
right hello yeah making you I can Indy
can hear me yes I can very well thank
you this is all coming through space and
Tunbridge Wells
I'm 25 at Foster down where's that that
is at Godstow Godstone where Junction 6
anti-clockwise because of those
incidents earlier we have the accident
and then we have that broken zone fan a
little way behind it all around Tackett
Lane Services it's left this huge great
queue or work use new the cameras I mean
tonight maybe what I'm looking at there
are people sitting right next to a
completely deserted slit robe they're
not using it what I thinking up there
and use their ingenuity that's not very
good Peter
as I spell that poor man Dylan is broken
down ran there are sort of two different
agendas here
Allison you want to sort of let us know
where the problems are with the traffic
Jeremy's dream is it conducted conduct
the traffic from here with its satellite
you go there you go there I'm trying to
get the blood the traffic move I got my
stuff I sell TMJ look at that guy's
because it seems like a Land Rover
Discovery has trained nice while
carrying a trailer obn to get on his
number plate there those four four four
by fours what a shame data fat it's a
four by four it's a good job it was but
why still um yeah actually listen to the
Liberal Democrats on that one too late
is that a discovery it is sideways
opening tailgate it is he's blocking two
lanes on the m25 this is at just before
junction AIDS and it's clockwise so that
is between seven and eight so is on your
way to eight oh no so that's why I gave
the other
okay just the other way come on it's not
a discovery I'm now looking at it more
carefully I think it's a Shogun yeah
yeah so it's a Mitsubishi show Grand the
owner I'm looking at him he's wearing a
high-visibility jacket that didn't help
to this policeman you
there's no policeman there there's other
people in another jacket doing no good
whatsoever
what the hell pink look at these people
here look at the people queuing together
if you're listening to us why don't you
just let people in look at all I mean my
sonic collages and now this is the
selfishness I can't abide is you think
there's no skin off your nose to just
let me in come out as many now stark
James if they've got the radio on in the
Shogun's can I suggest the owner if you
just drive sport I know he's got a
puncture or something no no the back
wheel order off okay even if it's
four-wheel drive I'm going to move it
forward about three feet
straighten the tail very slightly and
it'll come off and you can move the
trailer off the road and free up a hole
you're doing it what the police say is
yes what the police need at times like
this is a helicopter with a big magnet
on it swoop down sweep it away hose the
blood into the into the central
reservation there and get the motorway
open finished yeah there's any blood
he's just jackknifed a bit Allison thank
you very much indeed
you're welcome
can I do the weather yes I've lost it
okay it's a beautiful you say no oh look
this evening and tonight fairly cloudy
and through first part of the nights and
clearer spells later stop what this is
Portland I know we're going to do sport
in a minute light northwesterly breeze a
minimum temperature 70 degrees C 45
degrees Fahrenheit tomorrow sunny spells
at first clouds developing through the
morning study into doors and scattered
light showers for the afternoon
northwesterly breeze in maximum
temperatures 16 degrees C I just
[Music]
what is that van doing just sitting with
a flashing light on it hearing traffic
being important than having a flashing
light it is can we do if we do the sport
does that mean I'm gonna go it what if I
refuse well there's a man standing
behind you know can't do the sport he's
not much bigger than me I always get old
that was a slick link there that alright
you'll have to talk to me about sports
instead I'm Rama is 26 not out three
wickets apiece for Dominique calmly and
Shawn Irvine early or sorry I going that
happens sorry I'm sorry they're going
much much better against Leicester share
at grace Road sorry 200 Betty made 55 no
153 for three is that good I don't
understand they've caught 253 runs and
they've lost three wickets sir it is
cricket he's a game that's been played
in this country for about 300 years what
the same why don't you get the another
look a cricket which will tell you all
the regulations that you need to know
and then you'll be okay well now
[Music]
driving in my car
you see the important thing to remember
when you shouting at me mates is I've
got the button you certainly her well
I'm Jay Rockefeller new in question I
don't understand crickets going but if
you say that's good I'll accept that
they'd good pretty good for something
good well done sorry underfoot paulist
way to reward them now we still going to
the final end win it he has that
unmistakable East London twang doesn't
he yeah you go in there and tonight okay
BBC southern counties radio the music
out of things
[Music]
they were 1c minutes at 6:00 just coming
around - if you just joined us this
afternoon welcome to a sort of unique
social experiment here on BBC southern
counties radio Richard Hammond Jeremy
Clarkson and James May we are the three
guys from Top Gear we have been let
loose
mostly because Jeremy said it'd be
really easy to do a radio show and it
turns out drive time so yes beautiful
cific a drive what I liked a lot of
support coming in and a lot of people
enjoy themselves Chris it's Christine
and helling ly and thinks that shows
absolutely awful southern counties radio
really going downhill she's doing her
ironing and wants the regular team back
so the regular team want to come back in
but we have nailed blow sure we have
done that and but Christine good to know
you will it and you know we could come
back tomorrow maybe again and I'll get
some more of these
[Music]
[Applause]
well it's because trali-vali hello hello
hello over all right house pet work well
I'm just going to say what now but it
was fine a bit depressing though having
to follow the most stunning db9 with its
roof down driven by some and he was
doing no more than 40 miles an hour all
the way from Guildford I've heard this
so many times we discuss that and then
drive it like an old lady not just that
who's driving didn't a middle-aged man
what is he saying you see he's not doing
it to enjoy the sunshine because I think
as the Sun got in where you are no no
it's quite funny it's quite sunny but
he's not doing it for the sunshine he's
doing it because he thinks it makes you
look more attractive well makes him look
like his own you can say if he falls
head no no that's what I was do I got
the roof down on my car and take no I'm
going to blind following motorists with
that wall back back up again do you
think it's a bit of that we all get you
innovative middle-aged men they
shouldn't drive this convertible cars
with the roof down it looks ridiculous
and then we wither yeah I'm not doing
some driving them just drive them
properly what color is his db9 it was
black I thought you just turned off from
it yeah it was black and I can tell you
the registration number as well far away
I'm a seven yeah sugar G for golf OS
Buford also a really little bit personal
area under place yeah lies number plates
not something that we particularly enjoy
so he's got his top down and he's got a
personalized registration plate would
you able to tell how was he very small
well and about half its head shape yeah
so probably even shorter than Hammond
high that's not actually technically
possible to still be a human and be sure
to be home what I'm interested in is how
high were his trousers I'm suspecting a
sort of chest height really hitched up
there can I point out that the accident
we were talking about the m25 told was
anti-clockwise not as Jeremy worst
traffic reporter in the history of
traffic and report
said clockwise and while I'm looking at
the tail-end of the jam here and it's
anti-clockwise yeah
it's getting to be a very nasty Jam part
partly because people are pulling out of
the outside two lanes far too early but
they do but people can relate he packed
me off now my still no no no you know
you go join him whenever you like oh no
no I mean going in but I'm just saying
that what's happened here is that ever
the two outer lanes of the motorway of
please get out of them because they're
blocked by an idiot in a Mitsubishi use
most of crash into his own trailer and
people are moving over far too soon
which means that the motorway network is
not being fully utilized we paid for it
drive right up you crash use it and then
get you in there down and tell the man
exactly what you think of is driving
cisely alley thank you very much for
calling in it's okay thanks for taking
part you can do the same Oh 8 4 5 9 5 7
double O 5 7 can I talk briefly about
pets and stuff mm-hmm
if you can be filling up at at the
moment you may well have to be ready to
pay serious money for the fuel it's
going up diesel risen to an all-time
high the average price of a liter
yesterday was just over 98.7 pence
previous highest price was ninety eight
point six recorded last September in the
wake of Hurricane Katrina
Todd tinny runs to demoted him fetch him
near Leatherhead one of the last
remaining independent petrol stations
that actually serves you active pump
hello Todd hello Lee so you actually go
out to slosh the fuel into the tank for
people that's it yeah he'll be clearly
distracted before told you because
they're now taking the trailer off yeah
just two seconds the Mitsubishi Shogun
which has bull bars child-killing bull
bars and has been moved onto the hard
shoulder and any second now the trailer
will have gone as well five seconds and
that motor wait will be open again so
I'm good newsmen to push that little
trailer yes I know but it doesn't matter
because there's absolutely no burglary
at all in southern England you can tell
that from the amount of policemen being
used of any sort yes thank you see we
really are bringing it to you as it
because we can see it you know happening
in front of us Todd so you run a petrol
station see I've got a theory on the
price of petrol right I just don't care
I just do not care what possible
difference is it's a pen
here and there and I was chatting to a
bloke in my local petrol station he held
up a bag of Maltesers rattle them about
and said honestly I could charge an
extra 20 P for a baggage and nobody
would care if I put a penny on a liter
of petrol they'll go 15 miles to get it
cheaper is that true you find that I
think yeah people always come in and
learn a better price
really we're always a little bit dearest
because sir we where we say we put it in
and we can't do a large-volume old
supermarkets and things whereabouts are
you I could pop round on my way home and
Biogen good quality petrol here good
quality - food yourself yeah we're doing
fetching nearly late but you have to be
here before 6:00 because we're not a
late-night place oh ok close well that
will still be on there so that is not
going to happen so ding is there when we
go for petrol I've got a litter cereal
that the reason people complain about it
is that it's the worst possible time
nobody ever drives along and says I know
I'll stop for some fuel that'll be fun
we're always in a bad mood aren't we
well it seems to yes like I understand
people going these great big service
stations and they have to put their own
fuel in and after work walk about 200
yards of pay for it and any kind of
little places like this and when it's
gone in a 5 or 10 px - overall well have
you got a jet wash at your petrol
station no we don't do them Jones is
going to ask you about where the bomb
was any scenes and it would have been
quite good to get it from the horse's
mouth Todd thank you for calling in good
luck
Jeremy's waving his arms in red well
just genuinely staggered he's here what
I'm watching is the pix picture here
live the police clear the motorway and
then it's a good 30 or 40 seconds before
they let the traffic down you wait why
are you careful about it you want to be
careful you say go-go-go is what you say
we got the chain Fleetwood Mac we should
have played it then it was like the
start of a grand parade boom and they
could all have roared off and been home
and this turned out all having to follow
a police Range Rover Ken in West Ham
writes in to set aside rings in to say
he refuses to speak to us probably
because we're rubbish he's not enjoying
the show you misses the regulars evening
just says make sure the professionals
are back on air tomorrow I don't know
there will be don't worry again though
they even as we speak the fire brigade
have been called and they are now fire
axing the door I get not got much longer
Frank hello and I like you're near
Winchester aren't you yeah
and you
to lend us your support Paulo oh dear
Frankie you ringing to lend us your
support yeah
good well go on then what are you
ringing for Frank in the first place
around this fair dispel this fallacy
about older drivers not being safe when
it's well known that the worst drivers
are between 17 and 35 oh here we go
young men are about to be picked on
right that's a fact give it as affect
our drive I live in Sussex in Hampshire
now I Drive often between the two places
and the worst offenders of these young
your boat odds were there boom boom well
I think it is Frank maybe it's just that
they drive differently to you perhaps
older people want to drive slowly and
younger people want to get in no no no I
try even though I didn't do that not cut
Frank I would like to say let's say Rose
had Frank raised an interesting point a
really interesting point because when I
was 17 I drove very slowly because the
cars I had were rubbish and now I'm 46
my cars are much better I go much faster
but you're much slower now and that's
possibly not such a good thing I've
noticed that you know for a long time
young people were responsible for
accidents then there was that thing with
Brunnstrom is that old people are too
old and responsible for accidents and
media people are too expenditure and
eventually if you weren't thirty nine
and a half married with two kids and
driving a Volvo estate of ten to nine
miles an hour you might as well just
hand yourself in yeah there's AG Lafley
heigh-ho it's 12 minutes to 6:00 and
it's time for the headlines as anybody
could really happen look I haven't got
them but I can probably then make my run
a change much
no Rio James I'll just use the last one
and go as Tories say the Home Secretary
Charles Clarke should consider resigning
after he said that he wasn't going to
resign in an earlier news bulletin after
letting more than a thousand foreign
prisoners out of prison instead of
deporting them why didn't the people in
the prison know because of losses
walking out in prison all these
murderers and rapists and burglars and
things attention to detail you see and
the big issues sellers in Brian we've
since cleared this story up they will
get their magazines delivered to them
from this weekend because the office in
the city centre the city is present what
this means is bands are going to go
around and drop off bundles of the big
issue with these people who are selling
them and Downing Street is still backing
the Deputy Prime Minister John Prescott
for having an affair with one of his
secretaries which means that new labor
has condoned having affairs with new
secretary Miss absolutely fine so
Crandall whether it's in a deal warm
that was really a sex that was best
public I thought it was one of the best
I really did Jeremy have you got your
fancy satellite link ready P new way of
doing up yes BBC southern counties radio
travel Jeremy right the earlier accident
anti-clockwise near the junction with
the m23 as I said earlier that has now
been cleared to the side of the road
every single policeman for 43 counties
is now in attendance I can tell you it
was a Mitsubishi Shogun I can't quite
read the registration number but I think
it was personalized and it certainly has
a lot on I'm sure was it was a really
short one no it was I think was moved it
was one of those really short ones
that's by the by we able Alison are you
there oh hang on she can be a lot of
time either I can even move your camera
out and we got any more traffic jams to
be having a look at or bad driving I can
show you the the queue back from that
that's the next camera back my view it's
always really smooth if you want to go
clockwise around 9:25 absolutely it's
just tonight it's like a racetrack it's
a lot slower but anyway what else have
you got to show okay that'll further
back again Oh
Enda how far back sir that is probably a
mile or so ladies we're not too bad
that's further back again all over and
it's kind of on its way back so this is
heading back towards Leatherhead now
back to luncheon 9 all the air see what
we're down to 40 miles an hour there
first of all that was right we're
if you're lucky that's halfway between
nine and eight so as you're heading
anti-clockwise halfway between nine and
eight you're going to start to slow down
the accidents after eight so it's a few
miles it's a very very unpleasant round
the south side oh and on the west look
I'll just take you around the west let's
see if we can find some bad boys in
there this is doing
this is anti-clockwise okay around
Heathrow yeah I'll take you down to the
next cameras a little bit of delay there
see it's very very slow this is actually
quite normal for this time a night
speeding up a little bit there and say
there I think for the benefit of the
listeners I believe there so the western
side is okay I basically I can say the
western sections of the m25 are Oh sort
of okay-ish not anti-clockwise no I'd
say the West from 14 down to 12
no I've seen it worse than that I think
that's fairly normal but the see now
anti-clockwise that's properly
unpleasant but that is not only a
picture of a bolt if you go no that's
backward back in the south again sadly
that I can't bring you any news of very
bad driving I can't even see anybody
braking unnecessarily although I'm a
sure lots of it there's somebody in an
Audi TT convertible can you finish this
is through Godstone have you got
anything for us that is not covered by
the cameras there I listen you'd like to
add I would like to add actually yes
that it's very slowing Rai on the 85 9
as eastbound between the 86 eight and
the Rai Road long delays they're being
reported a little bit slow as well any
screens dead on the a 22mm road that's
northbound around moat road but public
transport is really really good public
transport is really good publisher is
close by diesel and is rubbish thank you
with BBC southern counties radio I can
public transport be good I don't
question
[Music]
the knees down discussing BBC southern
counties radio administered six does
anybody know what we're doing now yeah
oh by the way I'm handing over to this
man we've had an anonymous female caller
who said get that idiot Clarkson off the
radio he's and then there was a sort of
noise and it hung up yeah and then
saying we're far too gobby for our own
good again more support thank you for
that the good news is were only with you
for one evening only it's Jeremy James
and Richard from Top Gear and Jeremy's
about to talk about something absolutely
and anyone who's ever tried to write a
book will know all about the publishers
standard rejection letter it's kind of
Saudia thank you for your manuscript we
found it most entertaining with it's not
for us at this time blah blah blah
however and when rigor writer John
Howard got a raft of rejection slips for
his children's book he began to suspect
the publishers hadn't even bothered
reading it so to test his theory out he
sent them the instructions for his
washing machine and he's in the studio
now to explain what happened next
so John thanks for coming in what did
happen next I tested this book on tis we
hundred kids before I sent it into the
agents and I got loads of emails and
letters saying it's brilliant so I sent
him all into the agent and they rejected
it I phoned one up I took offense said
of course we read everything and so I
scanned in my washing machine user guy
sent it call it the tin drum the first
chapter was jumbo drum and three of them
sent back the same rejections before
saying they've read and enjoyed the
manuscript and they didn't think it was
for them so you didn't change it you
literally just printed it out and sent
it as it was printed with the
instructions yep took out the pictures
how you got yours publisher no I just I
use a vacuum cleaner one because it's
sold jolly unless anything and and they
all said the same thing here so thank
you so much an entertaining read but not
for us at this time that's right yeah
three dozen said that and so I just
still published it and it sold thousands
and thousands and thousands and now I've
been to 50 schools in five thousand kids
have got another few hundred the one we
come in and this is the key to chin tank
that's the one and the only washing
machines in it at all no I've left the
washing machines a lab since the border
children
how does that make you feel about
publishing then I mean do you reckon
there's a lot of other writers out there
being held back maybe they should just
send off the instructions to their new
washing machine or whatever does it
worry you
yeah I think that they got too many
coming in and maybe they need to cut the
list off a lot sooner
really they I think they take one or two
new authors a year if there isn't it
that hairy flaming Potter has done it
everybody thinks I can sit in a cafe and
write a multimillion-pound bestseller
and that's the way forward
surely the wizard has done it yes
definitely and we'll look at the trace
of Christmas you see that mmm no I
actually think that that the I mean 9/10
is children's book don't even sell a
thousand copies I don't I just don't
make it through because well surely a
school library statement and that's a
huge thing isn't yeah yeah but I mean
children's books written by adults
mainly and you've got an adult
agent and I don't publisher agent
distributor no one ever lost the kids of
it liked it so I took it in the schools
they picked the cover the size
everything so that whoa children shows
all that he had to chose the cover the
size but this was prior to you sending
it off to the yeah probably I sent it up
I had they'd love the story and then
when it I just kept diversity from their
eye color but it supposed to be
difficult to get a book published
otherwise everybody would do it and in
the dream so kind of the ones who stick
with it well Richard Hammonds had a book
published that was really easy I just
put them on the telly yeah I know those
and this year seem to me to be the
problem these days is that you really
have to be on TV now to be able to do
anything
yeah you need to sleep the famous
football I don't want to do that they're
really fun with this big brother maybe
no no who I don't want to sleep without
that man with a gorilla so finally do
you have any useful suggestions for
other aspiring writer perseverance
perseverance I just want to find some of
the some of the extracts from the
washing machine manual yeah there is a
little bit it starts off with you know
load the Jumbo drum it's not difficult
to that maybe you know it would be good
to accepted it load the Jumbo drum you
see everybody else the first line is
always the nicest and there you've got a
really good catchy in it's I just think
that's a friend I love you what gave you
the idea to do a washing machine um it
was just a nearest thing to him we just
made a new house that was sitting on the
side a little market that shot scanned
in send it off and it didn't get
accepted
well can we say good luck with your
actual book yeah I thought that were
available on the internet thing
idiots actually it's in all walks towns
everywhere now that the I mean they've
bought into it big time and it's doing
exceptionally well so yeah I just hope
it doesn't not mine off the charts or
indeed thank you for coming in this is
Stevie Wonder I've just played it it was
just there that all right guys know this
is just going to put everyone in a
soporific state nobody's going to drive
faster this I think I think we should
take stock at this blood chat as we come
to the end of our second hour hear what
he reckons you guys it got well are we
pleased some of it was good yeah the
bits whether whether people were singing
professionally I was a very good part of
the show I wouldn't want to do it every
day with you it's too hard it can be
stressful it's not right now because
I've got two things playing at once I
can't stop one of them I might listen to
that what is raising that jingle right
or wrong it what is it Moby what it's
Stevie Wonder and and in use jingle
sorrowful in it I can't work I can't fix
that I've no idea what are you doing
I've got it wrong I was fixing there
I've done it no it wasn't no it's no not
up there that one there you see I found
it I think it's going very well do not
agree when you just feel like you're
blathering out you until it's six
o'clock and then you can say and now
it's Richard Hammond over to the muse no
I was going to fight
BBC southern counties radio travel no no
hear me I that we return to the what the
only thing that matters on the roads
tonight these huge queue down the
southern end of the m25 and James what
have you got for us well I think there's
not much you can do about the traffic
you can turn around so the only option
is one of mine and Hammonds in card
games yeah yeah and I would suggest
dashboards spot the different good
choice yeah if there's two of you in the
car if there's any one of you here a bit
stuffed right unless you're sort of
schizophrenic course I think but anyway
one of you looks away the other one no
let's start that again
you both look at the dashboard yeah
player a memorizes of the position of
all the knobs and the sliders and the
stalks and all that sort of thing then
he looks away for 15 seconds while the
other player moves one thing and then
the first player looks back again he's
got ten seconds to work out what's
different
it's genius you'll be glad there's a
traffic jam only problem will be it's
not long enough you and I played that
for about five hours games there's the
other one there's another one these two
play which just says how dreary they are
they have an aerial long driving you're
in the world destruction operate bits of
the car by poking the switches that
mimic the oil skill those difficulty not
eating so there you are if you're stuck
in that traffic jam in the southern part
of the m23 and sorry n25 near the
junction with the m23 clockwise and
support going one way around in love
anti-clockwise then there are a couple
of suggestions to wile away the hours
Allison if you got any to add to that
yes there are be I'd be a little bit
more specific for you uh over in the
West fourteen to eleven that's
anti-clockwise Pete Richert see that's
all crawling and saying anti-clockwise
would be really sorry for itself I'm
afraid from of our eight a tri-gate
right through to God's own at six all
horribly slow and crawling after all
those earlier problems and just one
problem on a local routine drive very
slow on the eighteen 590 spend between
the a two six eight and right Road and
public transport still looking really
good Jeremy
look good all he said last time it
wasn't applying I don't look at trains
and it was good I have just seen a TVR
drive by the camera there so he's in
about a hundred hundred and fifty yards
without breaking down at once that's
gonna be a traffic jam when it does
finally let go Alison thank you very
much thirty point one three inches and
falling slowly because of the pressure
gradient BBC southern counties radio the
new sound of it was time
Wow showers in April whatever next I
thought that was quite time what what
look what's happened to our feed I
should apologize for it it's come it's
just jammed it looks like everybody's
just parks at random all over the m25
can I do a big explanation
yeah just joined us good evening this is
still BBC southern counties radio it's
not your usual host Richard or mark
because you have Jeremy James and
Richard from Top Gear and as part of you
know when ya sit down with your mate and
you come up with an idea and it seems
like a really really good one we did and
it seemed like a really good idea well
actually it was Jeremy's fault he said
how hard can doing a Drivetime radio
show be how hard is it Terry
quite hard because I've just been
looking at what it is we're supposed to
have been doing and there's a thing
called time of your life yeah yes we
haven't done that and we have to give
people clues and then they phone in to
see if I haven't got any no I've got
some clues ready write it how does it
work I give the clue there and we play
some records
right we hid behind that jingle and
we've come to the conclusion we can't do
it why it's too complicated we - it's a
piece of cake you have to guess the year
I'm talking about though I tell you what
I'm good
you were asking how hard it is to do
this it's quite hard I admit but I'll
just look at those salaries you know
Terry Wogan eight hundred thousand
pounds a year six hundred and thirty but
Chris Moyles / sevens 540 practice of
that with you I mean I went there for
money for doing this I still wouldn't do
it
well he's not even for 800 thousand
pounds a year you wouldn't come and just
sit and chat away but even our music
that's the thing you can't just come and
sit and chat away as we proved if you do
that it says into the disaster you have
to be good at it here yeah at nine
minutes past 6:00 Annabelle is on the
line from polgár hi hello hello tell us
what are you called him for well I just
ran in to say that I think your program
is absolutely wonderful yes nobody likes
us normally yeah large merely abandoned
southern counties radio since it changed
its nature for now it's getting
politically embarrassing for all conceal
II know you like what you like this
program or the program that it'll
eventually end up on on television I'll
settle for either and then I had I had
an absolute brainwave all gone because I
can't learn to love Gordon Astley who
does morning program and I Drive to work
and I wonder whether Jeremy would like
to do no I don't live in Brighton or
indeed anywhere near it unfortunately it
would take me aid we were talking about
Brighton on the way down here the
problem with it is cut off
it's like there's a we're using okay for
going to London but it's not okay for
going anywhere else ER you from Brighton
sorry we haven't checked on no no I'm
not from Brighton but it's wide forgot
about yeah no I thought about that so a
lot of the things I was gonna do on the
traffic news if you live on the south
coast you're working but why did he come
in on a boat why would you why would you
drive I wouldn't drive and I'd just bash
it out in the there's no piers to crash
into that anymore I think Annabelle
thank you very much for thank you very
much that's right it's been a real
pleasure listening to you okay we
haven't finished yet we're about 50
minutes
Jack from Dorking called to say he's
really enjoying the show
Oh can we have you on more often please
and then the nurse took the phone away
from him yeah it happens like that hello
Polly
oh yes darling oh hello is this hearing
hello yes I'm nasty I'm a destitute -
Jeremy yes no - we're all here in terms
of darling and I think they'll gentle
play they were going to play something
better fresh air all the time of my life
you have actually given me the time in
my life for the last two hours oh thank
you you really have because I mean doing
doing a traffic report it's very boring
if either goes all the way up the n25 or
or down the other way and then it gets
dark and if you noticed as well traffic
reports always talk about places I Drive
home on the a40 out of London yeah and
they always talk about gypsy corner I've
been doing that journey for ten years I
have no clue where it is it just oh I
don't know where we're clear bottom
aside or clunky bit late do you know
where plaque is ladies I have no no but
I know where Christmas is where's that
that's in Normandy and I'm sorry
with a Normandy and sorry that's fine Oh
in Normandy every other side in between
all the shot and Guildford I have no
idea what you two will know when they're
enjoying ourselves present report
traffic reports because all I want to
know is how do I get around it what's
the road and that was what I ought to do
if someone can get me a road map I might
be able to find a way to drive with you
my love I would discuss my eyes and hope
for the best
bring you down but I know that I would
get there Molly
you'd love it you love it Frank I did
and please southern counties radio
please come back again Jeremy I'm not a
person to kind of adore people but I
think what you've given is such a great
lift probably a whole program thank you
very much I'm sorry about Holly I hope
you're still listening it's Richard he
really gets in an awful temper when that
sort of thing it's like when people give
him copies of my book to sign almost
explodes with rain okay just slap it can
go right okay well thank you very much
for calling without moving on now to
come again thank you
don't you hate it when radio stations
spend the whole time go and where
brilliant and then sent what did he do
no I just like it when people ring up
and go you're brilliant because that
never happens in my life ever people
ring up
all of it about job well I done about
Johnny written in crayon his message
from Dawkins saying he's enjoying the
show right oh that was definitive James
what have you got James May I haven't
got the news but I can make some up well
we've got a record anyway okay Windsor
resident the Queen has eloped today with
John nettles star of Bergerac
I can't stand it Natalie Imbruglia and
sugar
oh no what happened for the jab what we
have Imbruglia and shiver and Jeremy get
off the game just works out how your
computer was that you've done a bad
thing there right it's time for the
quarter past headlines at 17 minutes
past James hello I'm James May and this
is vanilla sleep Charles Clark says he
wants to keep his job and sort out the
mess caused by his there's a lot of
prisoners releasing they were foreign
and they should have been deported the
health secretary Patricia here has been
jeered by nurses of the Royal College of
nursing's annual conference in
Bournemouth he's been at Neal clinic
said he deserved its ow eight hundred
pound fine totally and utterly utterly
and totally after he was caught speeding
2004 actually was rather harsh weather's
dry Sun glad that it yep
yes now while we've been here obviously
most people in the radio station is well
have hidden really haven't they yes
where it's good well there's a lot of
people sitting out there to be brutally
honest who are on telephones going now
I'm really sorry it is just for one day
I promise things return to normal
yeah however somebody like sit in the
station who I don't know but they like
us because they've made this I haven't
heard it yet but they've made it
specially for us
personal traffic service from BBC Two's
biggest motoring show anti-clockwise
seems to be absolutely appalling tonight
god stones jammed up at Junction six ox
Ted it's completely jammed up Barrow
Rick don't use it don't use it stay at
work be productive and buy a helicopter
you my son have had it
there was a sort of trail for the travel
news which I can't do well hang on I've
got everything ready for your big
satellite mode BBC southern counties
radio travel go on then it's gone the
satellite has gone the Americans are
using it in Iraq or something it's gone
we haven't got it anymore it doesn't
exist the feed is over I'm unable to
give you anything we're going to have to
go back to normal traffic now 20 past it
I know Russia I'm sorry I'll tell you
okay I'll do trample voice ready yeah
and there's absolutely appalling traffic
tonight in the centre of Brighton all
the way at the end of 23 to the m23 the
m23 is utterly solid right the way up to
the m25 and then I'm afraid clockwise
the m25 from the m23 right the way
around to the m-40 solid the m-40 all
the way up to the a 42 Oxford this is my
route home I'm just doing I'm just
getting people off it Alec you are so
outrageous aw yeah I'll give you an
accurate one now maybe it's really
around West Street yes not neat anybody
driving badly on your cameras because
we've lost our feed anyone you want to
report are they're also having
brilliantly
she's got Alison to house it Hey yes I
think they're all driving very sensibly
Oh actually well just wait for you in
about 48 minutes I'll be one of them
that'll believe that now okay The
Apprentice is one of BBC Two's most
popular programmes one of yeah what
there are other pub one of our babies
okay it's back on tonight so which of
the final five candidates will sink or
swim as they're taken on board a cruise
liner in tough task asked to come up
with weird and whacky ideas now I didn't
to improve the I never ever read
anything the Hubble bit to improve the
experience for the ship's holidaymakers
so who's likely to be the overall winner
one woman who's more likely to know the
most is Joe Cameron described by Sir
Alan sugar as a nutter j was fired in
week six and she's on the line now hi
Joe are you
very well how are you I'm fine coffee
thank you I've been very amused so I
have to save all your son report but
that was a Korean though yeah they would
have worked quite well as a satellite of
love I think that's why America is in
that gives invaded the role countries
their satellites they don't know where
they going where we going all hell is
this Iran oh no hey can I just ask
something I missed and I'm really cross
about this the week when you were fired
oh my goodness and Carvin all how can
you believe I was on holiday that week
so I was abroad amidst it what went
wrong well yeah I didn't take enough all
the good which is hilarious for the ex
national sales manager mg for writing is
it not like OMG Skorton racing
absolutely I was indeed yeah why was it
that into it little sv that you drive
around the circuit yeah I have a little
bit of an involvement in that which was
that quite interesting suicide I blast
me on the head that car literally just
went on good okay kidding me yeah we
know that it all went a bit wrong than
that kinda just there's one thing you
were billed as the nutty were billed as
the loony I thought you were just edited
to look like a loony
I don't think you're a meanie at all
alright well yeah I think that's a bit
of me some other time so it's not all of
me all of the time but in the program ya
know they're definitely and little
going on whether they are why was why
did you I know I've got a my question up
crying I want to know how much you I
wanted that was my question we both
thought that at the same time yeah every
day oh I don't think I've actually cried
so much ever since and you know what it
is you just flow overwhelmed by
everything you know and it's like just
being away from home with all those
people in the house and household worth
millions I basically overwhelmed by all
I think yeah okay can I just ask yes who
do you think is going to win it
well I really like Michelle coz and like
me she's cool and calm collected and I
mean she's not the husband comes what
get the blonde one I yeah yeah is it
rude yeah Ruth is the file person yeah
okay Ruth yes so there's Ruth and then
the blonde girl now she's the one
slightly flared nostrils that's what I'm
remembering because I was just right and
then you've got sides who thought that
one's a bridge was a railway bridge in
London last week could you say yeah that
was very funny and poor old doom yeah he
was your nice chap he was a nice busy
people away in the background isn't he
you know but I think basically what he
said luckily we've had enough you know
so it's pharmacal madman it is now what
do you think has been the main reason
this program has been nearly as
successful as Top Gear obsessing because
it's like a really basic format of a
show isn't it and it attracts so many
different age ranges because the
characters the past you know the
personality and it's just obvious buing
I just love it on helm in it but it's a
great view and it's lit it is is
fantastic now so what do you do now
you've been did you have a job before
you went on it yeah well I worked myself
yeah so yes it was I'm working my god
well basically I my trade my background
is in diversity training HR consultancy
I mean that's just annoying okay so you
had a you had a job as a freelance yes
something or other being with people yes
yes absolutely and so do you now just go
back to that is that well I've actually
just launched the website which helps
minorities get into better jobs and the
title is the best name of the website is
called you're hired co uk that's a very
good idea is only what sort of
minorities are we all together
we're very older people you have some
older people or some people with
disabilities and most people it
generally just find it a bit difficult
to get jobs because I don't like
discrimination
I'm in a few fellows and help people get
some better jobs out of it yeah okay
well good for you and thank you ever so
much for coming to tours and best of
luck with everything
yeah thank you bye Houston do you reckon
she really cried she doesn't cry she's
not a nutter they needed another you
know what is how we do I'm talking all
the time yet eat things to make them
look so does that mean like when you
watch Top Gear you're not really over
there
no I'm your six-foot-three mate yeah
telling it hello Helen hello there
calling from Flay don't I'm afraid I am
yes Barry what you call in the back well
I just wanted to say how well I thought
you top gear guys were doing on me yeah
exactly
try a question ask away thank you very
much the fleet services there on the m3
can you still do the fleet sheet no you
can't only I've been really they've
stopped it
yeah stop - yes oh yes explain to
Richard Hammond II used to be able to
turn off at the services and then get to
sleep through a little back way yeah
yeah and it was called the fleet seat
without have to go all the way onto the
next jumps and all the way back again
and they stopped or whatever they're
done put bollards now and now they've
got a drop down what do they call in the
drop down Han Solo I'm gonna get a
Hummer yeah well I actually provided I'm
there to see you do it why I've been
again what Oh haven't I say why are you
are you a policeman it good lord no I
just what I it would just amuse me
immensely and I've always wanted one of
those things well I actually said it
yeah I could see he thinks my driving is
interesting Q no no no don't listen to
him they're looking over can I just ask
one thing when are you smaller than your
husband oh gosh yes when you get out do
you put the car seat back for him or do
you leave it where you don't know I
leave it where it is yeah I don't you
complain him about the Lucy I bet you do
never never it doesn't bother me that I
got out I don't think so you can't be
you can't help it you can't help being a
man yeah you don't help even the car
seats I was are bored I can't go to work
yeah Johnny thinks if he carries on like
this he'll probably end up with a hernia
but as I say to him that's the least of
his worries I said when he gets in my
car I never complain about having to
pull the feet forward say no because you
can physically get in and do of you just
what have you just done nothing Helen
still here yeah what is it
I'm sorry I think he just he's just been
implying isn't it you can loosely I've
never had so much fun in your lives that
it's just please pushing that lottery
ticket
thank you very much for calling all
right well thank you bye-bye
Helen thank you very much indeed calling
this lon we've got the headlines coming
around at half past which is minutes
away we've just got time to talk to
Peter from churches - hello hello there
hello there how are you hi Maura thank
you I'm really enjoying the show
although I must admit I wouldn't want it
every day no don't worry we won't get it
well wait yeah I promise it's back to
normal tomorrow I do apologize it's
being so disorganized I really did think
he just came and talked to know when you
ran out of things to say you put a
record on simply I don't remember it
being this complicated is a lot of fun
though what was for and they pushed the
wrong one every time and I've now got to
write the headline so chapter one have
you yes I might add later what did you
call in for did you call in lovely or
anything else it yeah I enjoy all the
programs you another think you're
brilliant sense of you moving enjoyed
the five o'clock show come and watch
some of this down for me maybe and
perhaps post it to an address and then I
can just keep it forever
yeah that's it and I was wondering how
when mr. piller can try Clinic managed
to get caught twice and Jeremy with all
his fast driving menu gave a clean life
now what does that tell you about the
way we drive in our responsible we
actually are well he's ginger and he's
Welsh I know what I can remember back
into a few years now actually Neil
chemic turned a Ford Sierra over on the
m4 do you remember that I think use Lee
I think you me right but it's quite a
fete I should demand no he did he turn
the Sierra over so he's plainly at
either an aggressive yabo or these
former leader of the Labour Party
either way Peter thank you very much we
have to move on with the headlines but
thanks for calling in we turn to Sierra
over on top kid you remember I'm writing
the headlines god I'm writing that
because somebody else
BBC southern counties radio travel
little my hang around the summer you
were waiting for real trouble go
the Infini one eye and clockwise I
reckon about what so shall our well
believe it anti-clockwise 13 to 11 he
threw them to Chertsey because he threw
he throws he throw he throwed he want my
job and I'll have yours ok 14 down
through 11 he threw the chair Michael
thank you what can I just say my news
headlines were better but I had cliff
ratchet Cliff Richard have been taken by
BATS
Brighton Pier and turn into solid gold
own at Lowe's we're doing sports yeah
what could be doing the sport you want
the weather weather is a little weather
go I'll do it can do it I'll do it it's
going to be slightly gray tonight and
cloudy but tomorrow should be okay yes
a little
sounds like weather to me what is why do
you just keep playing jingle what is it
to have a ball I can do it was it gonna
do nothing or violence or hey okay hey
let's kick off of the sport thank you
guys now bad day by Sussex the bang
Hampshire yeah 22 minutes to 7:00 BBC
southern counties radio Richard Hammond
Jerry clouds and James made a guys on
top gear with you and ordinarily Jeremy
you supposed to like trail and say what
you're going to be doing and we haven't
done any of that we're going to be
talking about film and we're going to be
going on we are cannot before we do that
can i play records life
really have to go back you'll have a pee
how long is that record 3 minutes 16 and
getting short hurry up go right I'm
going to go in sit over there are you
the film movie hello is that I just do
apologize ladies and gentlemen I'm
Richard Hammond has popped out and has
not popped back again so that's me
on the wrong side of the desk trying to
operate everything I've been joined by
Kathryn chambers or hits talk about film
indeed I think and we've had a core wait
a minute is a what's that hello is there
somebody there is any more than there
hello what
oh man
[Music]
[Applause]
again you left me alone on the wrong
side of the glass like shorter than
anticipated sorry carry on anywhere
everybody this is Katherine Richard
hello how Katherine um what have you
been to see at the cinema okay let's
pick off food sixteen blocks which is a
cop Phyllis directed by Richard Donner
the man behind a Lethal Weapon series
yeah may be familiar with him this is
basically Bruce Willis doing what Bruce
Willis does which is play a world-weary
detective here he's got a escort a
criminal 16 blocks to court but when
there's an attentive gunning down
basically and both of them him and the
criminal played by masters on the run
what was that what's going on don't do
that we're in the middle of our just
think of an intelligent question for
Hammond and I wonder what I requested
because it used to be this turned Shh
suppress it there's a tendency the
film's these days to shrink them down
you know panic room was filming that and
then there was the Colin Farrell in a
phone box there was another guy concept
movie sale there was a high concept well
they just put it all in a plane or a
phone box or something that now they've
done it in 16 blocks so is Bruce in
arrest
Bruce is actually got a bit of hair in
this film
I know shock shock that's probably the
most exciting things ill know actually
aside from master he plays a criminal
who is a bit of a motormouth and drives
you insane it's actually pretty good
it's really like yeah you know it's it's
a kind of fast-paced action movie if
it's a solid and dependable film and I'd
like to describe it as a it never stalls
for a minute every time you wake up
there was a lot of noise going on yes
yeah you know does it strongly I'm
trying to get a few you know puns in
here no I'm not audience they're rolling
around they are they really are rolling
around so what's this all that I do
forgive me but there seems to be
something on the television
now it's because in a short while we're
going to be joining up with the TV and
right now on the TV they're playing bits
of Top Gear and us arriving here today
seem like we're on the tell you that's
on the telly well I do right now this is
I'm quite looking forward to seeing 16
blocks because I do like Bruce winner in
white looking
I am looking for I will be seeing I
should be buying it that's me
it was like live Jeremy Clarkson in
stairs top gear presenter I Drive
something else under there and no any
minute now we're going to be like it's
alright I've got control but where is
the camera
I don't I realize it's not our worry
where is the camera do we have a camera
to look this one what is our camera not
yet I do apologize Odin Genesis just
gone completely mad it isn't meaning a
lot for you at home if you're listening
we are the Top Gear presenters and well
two of them James is gone no no this is
James is it you're looking lovely I know
amazing transformation they had better
and there's I look tired and we're gonna
we're gonna link it very shortly with
you
so we're carry on about film how will we
know when we're linking up tell me my
okay James James he's back so you just
wait there James because we're just in
the middle of films what else have you
got a punk locks
Freedomland which oh hang on guys you
have any second a better sit down again
James because with a vision there on
radio we're gonna break into their show
now hello fellas where are you let's
have a look we are making the most
appalling mess of what I think is a very
respectable and respected radio station
I think I think it might have been what
are you doing in Brighton fellas messing
stuff up well I mean I said the problem
is is I've never really liked the way
that you did our the treble use is done
on radio show so I thought I can do that
better I've come down here and found
icon no it's gone post yeah hey look it
looks like Richard's done a bit of radio
before what about the rest of you can we
not talk about Richard I slightly
embarrassing oh don't be embarrassed
no it didn't go entirely well I've done
a lot of this sort of thinking Richard
no no no I've done a stick Richard did
the lamb adoption reading out this
twenty five minutes at a time twenty
five minutes of reading out lambs names
on radio Cambria and all the way down
the I know what I'm doing I know what
I'm doing we have had Thin Lizzy bluing
the boys are back in town sixty-four
times exactly sorry but nobody James
ever would with you on the choice you
might give us a serious answer what are
you doing in Brighton overdoing the
radio show really I don't know that but
we could have gone to Wilshire for that
or Tunbridge Wells
you're doing a top gear program down
there no we went of direction is such
that we were going to vulture but you
just rose here playing the reason we are
genuinely genuinely is though buddy else
would let us do this I don't believe and
after today's performance if anyone know
who do right you know in all seriousness
we did actually ask Radio one if they
let us do that and they said Warren if
it's a short answer was now get on that
bombshell we're gonna blow you out
fellas thank you very much indeed thank
you very much right now now this is
confusing now we back with you yeah no
we're bad but you gotta go cuz I'm in
the middle of films I'm sorry about this
because I'm talking to Catherine about
film so James if you just go hey - so
are we on the tell you right now on the
radio we're on the radio and Italian to
say we're not one a nice girl who talks
about films has made my headphones smell
or person yes lovely
look get out of the seat because James
it's changed see that it seems what
really so that one that we were on just
before we went on the television was
freedom land freedom Lanyon never gets
that first beer this one sorry also nice
I like got that one yeah um this one is
Julianne Moore he plays a like her is
getting thumbs up she's a victim of a
carjacking Samuel Johnson is the
detective in charge of finding the
missing child he's even more bold than
Bruce Willis entry lines he's terrible
in this is a terrible year no such thing
as a bad Sam Jackson Oh God either
another naturally slide to mediocrity
Emma from terrible terrible I nearly
walked out in fact it's a theme it
doesn't get a neutral you know mean
awful you know Julianne Moore spends
most of the time screaming so the whole
film you just want to throttle her who
directs it it is directed by a man a man
yes a man or a woman Joe Roth never even
had
No okay so that's a all the way that
yeah um then we have metal a headbangers
journey please use mine this one year
you know I grew up on rock music I'm a
bit of a you should have seen the album
collection abroad have you seen the
albums abroad
oh okay Bush Tegan thank you very well
then it's serious getting nearer Genesis
you won't like sleep with me like
Genesis Bob Seger the Silver Bullet
families no you won't know you don't
know damned in gambling and heavy music
Katmandu look like that that's the
really really early stuff Amy we've
really got to do their headlines ok
Carlin do a headline like you know it's
just have you got the headline yeah I
cornice yeah no you do them I had gone
here like have you call me headlines no
well then I have just watched the news
okay come on Patricia Hodge has been on
the news yes but the sound wasn't up so
we have no idea what she was saying
doctor who is on television now not
Doctor Who but somebody talking about it
so that's important yes Cliff Richard is
back from the bats and the Queen hasn't
eloped with John nettle and the weather
mainly dry weather variable cloud yeah
oh this on that much you should listen
you should get this album honestly live
bullet it's over Thank You Allison I'm
sorry I was pleasure distracted
momentarily spoiled your day a bit but
hey oh it's been the back it's been the
best world consummating for you like
when you're a kid and the weather was
really nice you can think it works
outside at school and or when go home
lately it's been great thank you for
everything bye bye bye traffic with BBC
southern counties review right other
films right okay so moving on from metal
head banger journey we have did any good
have no sir riff roaring ride through
the history of metal a riff roaring
right if you're interested in Judas
Priest
there you go yeah yeah suddenly doesn't
feature but Bruce Dickinson deals Bruce
Dickinson I'm Lemmy from Motorhead let
me out of Motorhead to give it away from
Lenny out of Motorhead then it is out of
go on anything else units anywhere on
the smartest guy in the room this is the
documentary about the collapse of the
corporation n which of course rocked the
world in 2000 very very good very
intelligent descriptive yeah yeah and I
was going to save Michael Moore that I
won't you watch and then don't come
knock in which is a bit of an arthouse
movie providing vendors who directed
Paris Texas any nudity in it we watching
maybe a little bit but not it's a
journey of self-discovery and it coasts
along
lovely don't look at me about films
Jeremy vehicle said I am no you never
watched film character prison drama
that's all right Sarah driven drama okay
okay horror movies do you like horror
movies I like the descent very good do
some not Gary
slither which is I was a remake slithers
a remake liver slither yeah it's a about
it's a zombie movie it's about little
worms that go inside you I saw that in
the original one in 1976 I think so is
any good it accelerates along at a zippy
place excites about the guy who wrote
the Dawn of the Dead remake you know and
it is what you get from a zombie movie
basically lots of blood lots of good
lips lots of gore so if you squeamish
stay away okay brilliant and we got the
top ten here and
all Tristan and Isolda at 10 and
American haunting at 9 Inside Man at 8
take the lead at 7 she's the man at 6
what no no you're supposed to read out
and all saying what they're like no no
we can't be good things ready right then
I'll read them ok and we've got them
since I've Hughes element 5 8 below
alright okay Tristan is old epic buddy
you love ancient uh no no you had a
contrivance what is the dark for not
pressing the book all right just
anti-american dream scaring me before a
parody of a parody Silent Hill mute
video game head plays back thank you
it's seven minutes Katherine thank you
very much but it is seven minutes to
seven and James May is back where you've
been making my headphones smell so let
me did you go I went out in our rubbish
Cadillac to see what your program
sounded like in the real world how did
it sound mate it sounded rubbish oh that
is the worst radio program I ever
I mean it's authentic you sound like
local radio visualising there's a mad
woman screaming on the phone and you
talking the studio and you interrupting
yeah but it's just bad not relaxing
right now but I did ask quite a lot of
other local people what they thought of
it in their cars mm-hmm
nobody was listening to it right well
that's some comfort yes not at all well
Kate hello welcome from staining hello
hello well nobody fitted it because
we've had such clotted Road rubbish on
the last three weeks empty space no
possible use of Iranian nation lawful
because the poor chaps didn't know but I
must say your program absolutely
brilliant just after noon fine I don't I
don't think this is a fair a fair
reflection of the caller than ours
because every time I go outside I'm
watching people in the in the office go
no no I'm sorry
really honestly they would be going in a
minute got one down here it does one
about us and I can't read a single word
doesn't get those I'm guessing yeah I
can't read a single word other than get
those it's quite it's quite spectacular
it is if so I think dB well there's an
idiot Jeremy Clarkson off the radio he's
unloaded then she hung up
can we see I've got one that just says
out of Brighton altogether
okay that's fair enough ten hello little
Hanson how are you hello there okay yeah
I think the people are famous for a
change in the southern counties we think
we are we think you are these are really
very important we're gonna return soon
no no we're recording it in expose it'll
be on next Sunday week on Sunday I'm
guessing can I come out to top gear you
have to go on wwwww-what say Oh aplause
done an update it's where you get
tickets for BBC shows alright but I fear
there's a 72 year waiting list now I
know that I'll be tasked by them I think
so great program number one at least you
didn't took that spot for two or three
hours like they'd all be there because
we don't know anything we actually know
nothing about it we've got more support
I'm here from mrs. Smith hello mrs.
Smith hello is that mr. Cox and all over
then the other end of this phone because
some program that's been on I came home
from work at five o'clock and what a
load of rubbish this is and I think it's
absolutely dreadful but absolutely
dreadful that you should have to put
such rubbish on the radio I've been an
avid listener to southern counties for a
number of years
for God's sake bring back Don a mini bar
should be and all the rest of them yes
all a load of rubbish thank you and good
night
I grant you good bye now I can start
taxis in Horsham says a 23 southbound
born the interchange traffic is
stationary in both directions that's the
kind of thing we want we but we also
want to know Mike if you're calling if
you're listening still
who's responsible what's the name of the
person yeah me what names actually while
I was eight I meant to report back there
is a very bad traffic jam around the car
park of Brighton station you see caused
higher bus locally yellows only Julian
from ports Lena Julian hi there how are
you I'm a foreign thanks good good what
are you ringing in from oh just ringing
it being turned on the radio then I came
back somewhere tonight and I thought
well it sounds good I didn't know who
you were but I thought you'd really good
you know real real breath of fresh air
yeah it's loose yeah it's the sort of um
friendly amateurism there do it
yeah Julian thank you very much indeed
for calling in and right features some
of the feedback we've received here
no no look I did to be honest I know
that we've made an awful holics of it
but and I've made and I feel bad because
my plans for satellite domination of
southeast England
yeah hasn't they didn't really work as
well as I'd hoped they were didn't look
at all we can play one last record but
we're going to play it MacArthur Park
yeah I can only play up okay I can only
play a bit of it we've got three minutes
to you why do you talk over the
introduction return you're not a finish
economy that's what happened then little
bit coming up we've got nine minutes to
get out the building