Right. Now!
This is Mr. Bennett,
and he'll be taking the boys for football.
Mr. Bennettfoolishly wants to be a teacher.
Look at that shell suitfucking ,man.
Fucking wanker.
I don't believe it.
Fucking, yeah.
What youfucking looking at?
Less fucking and more attention, please.
Something you might have said to your boyfriend, that, Gina.
Right.
Girls, onto the other pitch with me.
Come on.
You, boy, why aren't you playing?
Forgot my kit.
Don't make himplay, sir.
He's shit.
Balls, Mr. Bennett!
Right.
Look, I want you joining in, all right?
You ain't playing,Gangel.
Fuck off, McBride.
Jays...
Pass it round. Keep passing it.
Ste. Come on.
Do you want it? Do you want it?
Go get it.
Oi!
Here, what's his name?
Hugh, sir,
Hugh Janus.
Hugh Janus, get back here now!
Hugh Janus!
Janus, are you deaf?
All right, Sandra?
Slag.
It's late. I must go.
[DOOR CLOSES]
What happened? School burned down, did it?
Yeah.
What was it this time? IRA bomb?
FundamentalistMuslim pyromaniacs.
Oh, funny, that.
Looked all right when I walked past it.
Yeah. "Funny, that."
Look, you're not too old to betaken over me knee, young man.
Do you hear me?
Whole bloody Thamesmeadcan hear you.
Yeah? Well, you've got to start doing your games.
Why?
Who says? I says.
I hate football.
You never used to.
Well, I do now.
You know what I'm going to do now, don't you?
Juggle with them.
You know what they're going to do, don't you?
They'll put you into care.
They'll say, "She's an unfit mother.
Bang him into one of them homes,"
because I mean,
"She can't even get him to do his P.E."
That's what they'll do.
She's throwing away things I saved for me kids.
Books. Toys.
I don't want kids.
Kids suck cunts.
Anyone been calling you names?
Like what?
I don't know. "Stumpy"?
I told you it'll stop.
I know.
I'd told you you'd grow,
but you don't takeno notice to me, do you?
Yes, I do.
Oh, yeah?
Well, how comes every Wednesdayafternoon without fail,
you're standing there.
Yeah, I've told you.
Oh, have you?
♪ Call the village band out
♪ Bid me goodbye
What are you doing?
Singing.
What?
I'm just a girl who can't say no.
Heard of Mama Cass?
No. Sing it.
What?
Go on.
No way.
I won't laugh.
♪ Call the village band out
♪ Bid me goodbye
♪ Everybody stand outside and cry ♪
♪ Never thought so many
♪ Thought me so dear
♪ I'd be happy anyplace but here ♪
♪ One way ticket take me anywhere ♪
♪ Northbound, Southbound I don't even care ♪
♪ I know the grass is greener there ♪♪
Keep going.
You might persuade him to get back to school.
Libs.
That's not natural, is it?
What ain't?
A girl her age into Mama Cass.
She's got a really beautiful voice.
And what's the matter with Madonna?
She's a slag.
Hypocrite.
All right, Ste?
Ste, all right?
You two been bunking off together, have you?
Not together, no.
You all right, Mrs. Gangel?
Well, it's nice to see someonecan stay at school the full day.
We donefootball today.
Wrong season for football, isn't it?
Student teacher.
Oh, is that the problem?
No.
Well, what is, then?
I'd best get in.
Oh, Ste...
I'm doing the tea.
Stick it on, then come back here.
It's bubble and squeak, Leah.
You can't leave bubble and squeak.
Don't that make you fart?
Only if you've got a fat ass.
There's a phone-in this morning
on Richard and Judy about delinquent children.
I should haverang in.
I'm going in.
See you, Ste.
Ain't my fault, is it?
Whose fault is it?
The system.
I am the victim of the education thingamabob...
wasteland.
You're a victim of your ownbig mouth, more like.
Leah, love, get in here and peel some taters for tea.
Ah, kiss my ass.
You, indoors.She's a bad influence.
She's a bad influence.
You don't peel no taters, you don't get no tea.
Jamie...
Rainbow's gone anyway.
[PHONE RINGS]
That'd be the phone.
Well, it wouldn't bethe bloody Hoover bag, would it?
I know, Miss Chauhan,
but you see, Miss Chauhan,
he's got a funny tummy, you know?
I mean, he really wanted to do football today,
but he got taken short, see,
and when he got to the boys' loos,
they were all locked up.
Inexplicably.
So he had a little accident, you know?
Oh, yeah.
I couldn't agree with you more, Miss Chauhan.
I mean, when I was at school,
I was reserve captainfor the under-16's netball team,
so I can appreciate the, like, value of exercise and sport.
I mean, I don't want you to think
this is any reflection on me myself.
TELEVISION: It's slow moving now
due to an over-height vehicle stuck in the entrance,
and on Shooter's Hill,
the lights are out next to the police station.
On the A-2,
ongoing roadwork's causing delays
in the counterflow southbound through Bexley.
And now the weather for the RTM area.
Overnight, it will be humid
with a low of 16 degrees centigrade.
Tomorrow will be dry, hot and sunny,
with a temperature of 28 degrees.
This is RTM.
I'm going to work.
There's a cheese salad in the fridge,
and the one with the beetroot's for Tony.
I don't need a babysitter.
No, I know what you need.
Shooting.
I heard that.
Yeah, well, you could heara zit burst in Australia, you.
If you shot me, you'd have to
go to prison and live off gruel.
Don't tempt me.
I'll be checking yourhomework when I get back.
Be warned.
[LOUD MUSIC BLARES]
ROSE: Leah, cut thatthing off now.
Oi, Rose!
[VOLUME INCREASING]
Get her to turn it down.
What do you thinkI'm telling her to do?
My old man's trying to get some kip!
And I'm trying to make chips.
She's only goneand locked herself
in her bloody room, ain't she?
Leah!
I'm on tablets, you know.
Can I get in and try?
Oh, I give up. Leah. Leah!
LEAH: This is my idol.
Leah, spare some thoughtfor all the nice people
who live around here.
Some of them don't like Mama Cass, you know?
Well, they should.
STE: Leah, please.
Oh, I supposeI should be glad
it's not techno, acidic,housey housey, pop, trash...
Leah!
What's allthe bloody noise?
It's her. She can't control her kids.
I've only got the one, you know?
Just as bloody well.
Right. Just turn that bloodyracket down, will you?
You think I'm enjoying this?
Leah!
Oi!
Is that Trevor?
[MUSIC STOPS]
You only hadto ask, Trevor.
You know I'd do anything for you...
or to you.
I wouldn't touch it with his.
See you later.
Thank you, Trevor.
Trevor!
Your mum told me straight, you know?
Problems.
Been there.
Walking across the park, game going on,
my heart, you know, races.
Scared, Jamie.
Scared of the ball coming, you know, near me.
Hey, we can fight this one together.
Do you fancy a knockabout?
Nah, me neither.
But sometime, yeah?
Looks like fried shite.
Trevor, make us a sandwich.
But he made it--
Trevor!
Fucking hell.
I can't eat all that.
Where'd you meetmy mum?
Planet Earth.
Where?
Oh, you know,
out and about, here and there.
What's a place?
Place is just somewhere where,
you know, shit happens.
Yeah, but where?
Gateways.
She turn you on?
Sure.
She's 35.
What's age?
Age is just...
just a number, you know?
Mum saidyou was a painter.
I know whyshe chose you.
Needs the lounge done.
Don't like the color.
Only had it paintedlast year.
Like that, my mum.
Goes off things.
Fast.
She might go off you.
Won't be laughing then,will you?
Is that a spliff?
Well, give us some.
Hey.
What?
Your mum's going to be all right.
Dry martini and lemonade, please.
Pint of Pilsner.
Lou, who served her?
I don't know.
There's no alcohol in it.What's this?
Supposed to bea night out, isn't it?
You, out. You're underage.
I'm onlydrinking Coke.
You'll be drinking blood if I slap your face.
Oh, you're so hard.
Was that a threat?
Yeah, and here's another.
Get out before I call your child-minder.
Come on, Slasher.I can't be arsed.
Slasher?
What do you slash, crepe paper?
He's incontinent.
Sandra.
Is Louise taking care of you, Mr. Barr?
Of course.
A word.
Jamie...
How old are you?
Old enough.
How old are you?
27.
Not old enoughto be your dad, right?
What?
Sure.
What?
It's just...shit,isn't it?
What?
The whole...concept.
Yeah.
Anyway, I thinkwe should just, like,
move towardsgetting away from that.
Right?
Please, Trevor,
I'm sorry.
♪ How'd you like to have fun, fun, fun? ♪
♪ How's about a few laughs, laughs? ♪
♪ I can show you a good time ♪
You'll breeze it, princess.
Unless you really balls it up, the job's yours.
Now, what sort of questions will they ask?
You're interviewing for a new barmaid,
got three birds up for the one job.
You say, "If you find a fiver
"on the floor at the end of the night,
what do you do with it?"
First bird goes, "Well, I'd hang onto it,
ask around the next night, see if anyone's lost one."
Second bird goes, "I'd put it in the till."
Third bird goes,
"I'd pocket it.Finders keepers."
Who do yougive the job to?
The one withthe biggest tits.
♪ Spend a little time with me
♪ Me
I'd have me own flat.
I'd be down Stringfellowsevery night.
I'd get meselfa big drug problem.
I'd have me ownminiature poodle...
and I'd get meselfa makeover.
You could do all thatif you had your own pub.
I haven't had the interview yet.
One of these days,I'm gonna be dripping in money.
Right, this is me.See you tomorrow, babe.
See you, love.
Ste?
Ste...
I'm not going back there.
I know, love.
Tony, make him a sandwich.
What?
Tony.
What's it to be?
Pastrami and fettuccineon rye?
Tony, just make him a sandwich, please.
You'll have to top and tailwith Jamie, I'm afraid.
Ronnie, Trevor? It's me, Sandra.
Your little Steven's round at our place tonight.
I have every mind to report you, Ronnie.
Are you listening to me?
It's Sandra here, and I'm not happy!
Fuck off,you meddling cunt.
This has got to stop!
What are youreading then?
Oh, it's my mum's.
Oh, yeah? I've seen that in the shop.
Hello!
What bit you reading?
Oh, it's about Sally from Coronation Street.
What, that blond one?
Yeah, says her real name's Sally.
What, in real life, as well as on telly?
Yeah.
I hate that name.
Do you always wear glasseswhen you read?
I'm supposed to.
You don't in school.
It's hardly fetching, is it?
No, it looks all right.
Yeah?
Yeah, I'm telling you.
So how's your sandwich?
Cheese and salad? Bang-on food.
Good for your sports, that.
That's right. Good for your spots and all.
You haven't got any spots.
Yours are cleaning up.
Cheers.
Do you fancy that Sally?
Not really.
Do you?
Haven't given it much thought, really.
Do you fancy her next door?
Fancy Leah?
She fancies you.
Don't.
I'm only saying.
Jamie...
You going to sleep?
Yeah, I'm knackered.
I'll turn the light off.
Ste?
Mm-hmm?
You all right?
Yeah.
Right.
Ste?
What?
'Night.
'Night, Jamie.
The second applicant says,"I'd put it in the till."
The third applicant says,
"I'd keep it for myself.
Finders keepers."
To whom would you offer the job?
Well, it's obvious, isn't it?The bird with the biggest tits.
Um, though, seriously, I'd have to say,
I'd be more keen on the third applicant.
At least I'd know where I stood with her.
You have children, Mrs. Gangel?
That's an easy one.
A son, Jamie. He's ever so nice.
I really fuckedthat up, didn't I?
You'll hear soon, princess.
Yo.
Pervert.
Sorry?
I think you'll findthe word "pervert"
is a serious no-no.
Anyone who goes out with that old slapper
has to be a pervert.
Come again?
Your bird.
What, Sandra?
She talks to me
like I got "cunt" written on my forehead.
You shouldn't usewords like "bird."
You wantto watch yourself.
Sandra's gota reputation.
I'm not saying nothing.
Anyone got a match?
Yeah, my assand your face.
Your ass ain't that nice, love.
Oh, grow up!
Oi, Linda Lusardi.
Get in hereand cover yourself up.
MARLENE:What do you mean shoutingat me in front of them?
KEVIN:Well, look at you.
Stuck out there withyour tits all hanging out.
MARLENE:You used to like my titshanging out, once upon a time.
KEVIN:You didn't used to drape themover the bleeding balcony.
Over here.
Come on.
Over here.
Good. Great form.
Feed it back. Feed it back.
All right. Control it.
Yeah!
Well, get us me ball back.
Wait, wait, wait.
Get it yourself.
Oh, what's that?
SANDRA:You okay today, Ste?
STE: Yeah.
LEAH:I went to seea new school today.
There's only 20 kidsin the whole place.
There'll be 22 if you go.
You and Mama Cass.
Here, is it residential?
No.
That's a shame.
I could've given youa hand packing.
We could've packedthat fat bitch
and her music and all.
Shouldn't speak ill of the dead.
It's a shame how she died.
How did she die?
Choking on a sandwich.
Now you now why I tell you notto gobble your chips down.
TONY: Wasn't she heavily into drugs?
Was she?
I supposeif you're that fat,
drugs are probablya happy release.
Maybe she was happy being fat.
If she was so happy being fat, Jamie,
why did she diechoking on a sandwich, eh?
Why weren't it a wallopinggreat fry-up or something?
Might've been a bacon and egg sandwich.
No. It's coming to me now.
It was definitelybeef or chicken.
Something lowin cholesterol.
Hark at her.The fountain of all knowledge.
Yeah, well.
When you can keep upwith the questions
on Bob's Full House,get back to me.
I'm more of a Mastermindman.
Liar.
Did anyone see University Challengelast week?
Me neither.
Tony...
Crack me openanother one, will you?
I fancy something wet
dribbling down the back of me gullet.
What do you say?
I'd say ditto, right.
You can saywhat you like, love,
but it's better inthan out.
Do you know what I mean?
Oh, shut up.
Oi. Manners.
My mother never taught me none.
Makes me die, he does.
That's the intention.
Bet you don't talk to yourold man like that, hey, Ste?
I don't speak, full stop.
No offense, Ste.You know what I mean.
Mum.
STE:I've got to get in.
Yeah, you do that, Ste.
I'm going boxing with me dad later.
What? Well, can't you getenough of it, eh, Ste?
No, it's spectating.
Weren't so funny
when that bloke of yoursbeat you up, was it?
Oh, you...
You're so clever,aren't you?
Well, just remember,I gave you those brains,
so think on it--
I always thought you had a lobotomy.
What did he say?
Explain it to her, Tony.
Lobotomy, it's like when you--
Yes, I knowwhat it means, Tony!
Jim, that's Pat.
I work all the hours God sends,just to keep you in insults.
If this was my pub, I'd have you barred.
Go ahead and bar me. Kick me out.
You wouldn't dare.
Oh, look at you. Butter wouldn't melt.
But that's all right, Jamie. I've got your number.
You've got my number? Well, I've got yours, Sandra,
so try and be a bit more like a mother to me.
Oh, pull that one on me.
I'm a terrible mother who don'tknow her ass from her elbow.
I never had a mother, so what do I know about raising kids?
I'm not surprised she abandoned you.
You skinny little bastard.
Mum!
Am I like my dad?
No. You're like me.
How am I weird?
God, just give it a rest, Jamie.Christ.
You said it.
You're all right.
Okay?
So you got mefor a mother,
but who said life was easy?
You are.
You're all right.
Do you want to come to the boxing?
Shut up.
I've got a spare ticket.
Leave me alone.
Are you all right?
Apparently.
Want some?
Come on.
They think I'm a piece of shit.
SANDRA:Jamie?
Do you want to watch The Sound of Music?
It's on Sky, Jamie.
We're going to sleep.
Okay. Sorry, lads.
It's me mum's.
Body Shop.
Peppermint foot lotion, soothes your feet.
Lie down,
and I'll rub it into your back.
If you want.
Cold, isn't it?
Yeah.
I'm going to work at the Sports Center.
Yeah?
Do me shifts in the fitness pool.
Do me shifts in the leisure pool.
I know I can do it.
You're a good swimmer.
You're on your own when you're swimming.
I'm going to stink of mint.
Peppermint.
Have you ever...kissed anyone?
And stuckyour tongue in?
Looking like this?
You ain't ugly.
They've made me ugly.
I don't think you're ugly.
Here, turn over. I'll do your front.
I can't.
I'm too sore.
I'd make too much noise. Your mum would come in.
[KNOCKING]
SANDRA: Jamie, I'm sorry, love.
Who played the Baroness?
Eleanor Parker.
That's it. I want to show off to Tony.
Sorry, lads. Won't happen again.
Turn the light off.
No.
Please.
I don't want to.
Can I come up that end with you?
No.
Please?
You stay where you are.
Satisfied?
Mm.
'Night.
Do you think I'm queer?
Don't matter what I think.
Can I touch you?
I'm a bit sore.
Yeah.
♪ You wait, little girl on an empty stage ♪
♪ For fate to turn the light on ♪
♪ Your life, little girl is an empty page ♪
♪ That men will want to write on ♪
♪ To write on
♪ You are 16 going on 17
♪ Baby, it's time to think
♪ Better beware be canny and careful ♪
♪ Baby, you're on the brink
♪ You are 16 going on 17
♪ Fellows will fall in line
♪ Eager young lads and roués and cads ♪
♪ Will offer you food and wine
♪ Totally unprepared are you to face a world of men ♪
♪ Timid and shy and scared are you ♪
♪ Of things beyond your ken
♪ You need someone older and wiser ♪
♪ Telling you what to do
♪ I am 17 going on 18
♪ I'll take care of you
Great kid. Fuck off.
I'm minding him for my cousin.
Motherhood suits you.
Yeah, well, if I did get pregnant,
I wouldn't get rid of it,
like some slappers I could mention.
Well, you're with the black hole of Thamesmead, love, not me.
WOMAN:Hello. Twenty MarlboroLights and a lighter.
It's going to bea shit party.
I don't care...
All right, Ste?
This party's going to be shit.
Where you going?
Out with my mates.
Jamie, you haven't got any mates.
I'm going to a party.I won't be late.
I know.
I knocked for youa few times.
I thoughtyou might come around.
It's hot. It's a bloody heat wave, Jamie.
You expect me to be indoors?
No, it's just--
It's just a bit weird.
I was out, all right? What's weird about that?
Well, I've been worriedabout you.
Don't be.
Well, I was.
Well, don't be.
Nothing's happened, yeah?
I'm all right.
I'm pukka.
Everything-- Everything's pukka.
You're black and blue.
Oh, give it a rest, Jamie.
Things gettingbetter, are they?
Daddy laid off the fist work?
Or haven't you burned the tea lately?
I said, leave it out.
You're scared.
I ain't scared of nothing.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Last week, right? I went in Woolwich.
Coming out of this shop,
and there's this geezer in the gutter,
pissed out of his skull, just lying there.
Everyone was walking past him, and I had to step over him.
He was my old man.
It got me thinking on the bus.
Why be scared of a bloke who's dead to the world?
When he knocks 10 differenttypes of shite out of you.
He's an embarrassment.
He's nothing more. He's nothing less.
Why be scared of that?
Scared of being called "queer"?
Are you?
Maybe.
Maybe not.
And are you?
Queer?
Gay.
I'm very happy.
I'm happy when I'm with you.
There, I said it now. Go on, piss yourself.
No.
Why, don't you think it's funny?
I don't want to.
I think it's hilarious.
Well, why aren't you laughing, then?
Do you wantto come around tonight?
Well, say something.
I can't.
Say no, then.
Let's get a drink, eh?
Scrub me back, Tony.
Tony...
Tony, what's the matter?
Tony?
It's just something Leah said.
Leah?
Right.
I'll look away, you all keep talking,
then as a surprise,
hit me over the head with the tongs.
What?
It's an experiment.Man, I'm wired.
I don't understand this.
Do you want me to hit you hard?
Yeah.
Here, Ste, you do it. You're stronger than her.
No.
I can fucking do it.
Come on, talk.
I said, talk!
Is anybody else wired?
Here, read this.
The underlined bit.
"Mama Cass wasn't allowedto join the group
"because Phillips didn't thinkher range was high enough
"for his songs.
"But one day when Cass was decorating at home,
"a lead pipe struck her on the head,
and when she recovered--"
Say it--"Lo and behold, her voice had changed."
"Lo and behold,her voice had changed."
You twisted little bitch.
Ah!
How dare you say all those things to my fella?
I lost that baby, you venomous little cow.
You'll never turn Tony's mind against me, Leah.
'Cause he sees you
for the interfering little slapper that you are.
I wanted it to change.
Oh, well, some things never change.
I wanted it to change!
A leopard never changes its spots
and a slapper never changes her knickers!
Be told!
Man, I'm tripping.
Come on, Tony.
Fancy a drink, babes?
Have a wank, big bollocks.
Is that your mum, Gangel?No wonder you're fucking nuts.
You shouldn't havesaid that to Tony.
Oh, don't you start.
Should I call an ambulance?
Call a vet. Have it put down.
Hey, Ste, got any of them E's left?
No.Please, Steven.
No way!
Come on, Jamie, let's go.
Give us an E,
or I'll spread it round where you slept last week.
What?
Don't knowwhat you're talking about.
He slept on the couch.
Not what I heard.
"Top to tail," your mum said. Very nice.
Take no notice, Ste.
What would your dad say?
Piss off, Leah.
What would your Trevor say?
Leah! Try it.
I don't like hitting girls.
Oh, hit me, then.
Go on, hit me. You stupid queer.
Ste, come on.
MAN: Gary, want a drink?
Oi!
Trevor already knows.
You know what those flats are like.
Walls paper-thin.
Why do you think he's beentwatting the face off of you?
He knows.
There's nothing to know.
Top to tail?
You know fuck-all.
LEAH: Oh, really?JAMIE: Yeah, really.
Well, I know this much.
I've been sticking up for you.
For the pair of you.
Told him I knew you slept on the couch.
Told him I've been in and seen.
I go, "You shouldn't say things like that about your brother.
They're just mates."
Nothing happened.
When was the last time your Trevor hit you?
JAMIE: What's it to you?
I bet it was Thursday.So?
You see, that's when I told him.
That's when I lied.
Give her an E.
No, it's all right.
I'm not after sympathy.
Are we going then?
Are you fuckingstupid, or what?
Ste.
Get your hands off me!
Ste.
Get your fucking queer hands off me!
GINA:Ste's over there.
Come on. Do it.
Don't do this to me.
Come on. Just go do it.
All right?
All right.
What are you doing?
Oh, not a lot.
Claire's mum's got somevodka back at their house.
Don't she, Claire?
Yeah, half a bottle.
We're goingback there now.
Claire's mum worksat the all-night garage,
don't she, Claire?
Yeah, her name's Mary.
Would you fancy some vodka, Ste?
Oh, not really.
Well, then, see you.
See you.
Come on, Claire.
I suppose a shag'sout of the question, then?
CLAIRE: You're so embarrassing.
I'm going now.
All right, love.
Oi.
What's his problem?
Oh, he's in love, that's all.
No!
Yeah. I'll see you.
See you.
I wouldn't want to be you.
How do you fancy going to Greenwich?
The Park.
Legs astride the meridian, as they say.
I've got to finish the week's rota for work.
You're addicted to that pub.
Addict.
Don't knock it.
There's moneyto be made in booze.
Is that all you want out of life?
All I want out of lifeis to make enough money
to buy a decent pair of shoesthat don't let the rain in.
I can get you shoes.
That's all right, Tony.
I can make you shoes.
Tony.
Right.
Well, I'll do somehoovering, or whatever.
But I thought you saidyou wanted to go to the park.
It's no problem.
Yo, Ste.
You all right?
Yeah, Ste, any beans to spill?
Little bird tells me you're in love.
What?
Four-letter word, love.
Oh, don't lookso worried.
Jamie told meall about it.
She's just jealous.
Twenty years younger,could've been her.
Come on, what's she like?
Well, what'sher name, then?
No--
Oh, short for "Nolene."
It's very Home and Away.
It's about time too. You deserve a bit of luck,
'cause you'reall right, you are.
Here.
Buy Nolene a present with this.
Get her some flowers.
Sandra, I can't take your money.
Oh, I had a good night for tips last night.
Go on.
It's for his bird.
Do you have to use words like that?
It really disempowers you.
Nolene busy tonight, was she?
Got you this.
My, what a pretty hat.
It's the prettiest hat I ever did see, Master Steven.
Does this mean we're engaged?
What?
Tony?
Tony...
Hmm?
Sort me out.
It just don't feel right.
Here. Your mum and Tonyon the other side of that door.
My old man and Trevor next door.
I've got an auntiein Gravesend.
Thought we couldgo there one night
'cause she's deaf.
But that don't feel right either.
"You cannot transmitthe HIV virus via frottage."
What's frottage?
It's yogurt. It's French.
"Dear Brian. I am 23, black and gay.
"I am happy being with a man,
"but get a horrible feeling
"that people are going to talk about me behind my back
"and not accept me as I am.
"Also, my familydon't know.
Unhappy,North London."
Get over that river, mate. I'll make you happy.
Shut up.
Find page 92.
It's the bottom right-hand corner.
There.
It's a pub.
180 bus goes right to it.
So?
Look at that. Isn't that beautiful?
Never get it through the front door.
Yeah, but you never know ifyou'll be living somewhere else.
It's a work of art, that is.
Claude Monet couldn't have done better.
God, get a life.
Do you know who Claude Monet is?
Jamie, don't make me out to be thick.
You know,you just remember
I won a year's supply of toilet freshener
for making up that poem.
That took brains and artistry, that did.
[TELEPHONE RINGING]
Can you imagine it, though?
Me and youwith our feet up
on a cold winter's night...
TONY: Hello?Yeah, hold on.
On that.
Sandra?
Who was he, then?
He painted the Sixteenth Chapel.
And I haven't finishedwith you yet.
Miss Chauhan.
I'll see you.
Have a cool time, kid.
You rang to speak about my little git of a son?
You seen Jamie?
♪ Hava nagila
♪ V'nis m'cha
♪ Hava nagila
♪ V'nis M'cha
♪ Hava n'ra-na-na
♪ V'nis M'cha
♪ Hava n'ra-na-na
♪ V'nis m'cha
♪ U-ru, uru achim
♪ U-ru a-chim b'lev sa-me-ach
♪ Hava nagila
♪ B'lev Sa-me-ach
I love you.You're marvelous.
Well, that's lovely.
Well, Petra,I hope your leg gets better.
She still thinksshe's in Baby Jane.
Fancy wheeling me round the back, mate?
Excuse me,what's going on here?
Petra, dear?
Oh...
[CLUCKING]
Bit young for you, isn't she, dear?
She looks like she's just out of Pampers.
WOMAN: Smells like it!
Shut up, you!
What's your name, petal?
Jamie.
Oh, Jamie.
You just make me feel like
I want to get my breast out to you.
Oh.
♪ I feel like chicken tonight... ♪
Get out of the way.
So, Jamie, I think I'll have two of you...
and 10 of your mate.
Hello.
Well, that's--
I've got my work cut out. I'll see you after the break.
Oh, don't you wish your leg was better, Petra?
See you later.
Mothercare, here I come.
♪ Nobody can tell ya
♪ There's only one song worth singing ♪
♪ They may try and sell ya
♪ 'Cause it hangs them up to see someone like you ♪
♪ But you've got to make your own kind of music ♪
♪ Sing your own special song
♪ Make your own kind of music
♪ Even if nobody else sings along ♪
♪ You're going to be nowhere
♪ The loneliest kind of lonely
♪ It may be rough going
♪ Just to do your thing's the hardest thing to do ♪
♪ But you've got to make your own kind of music ♪
♪ Sing your own special song
♪ Make your own kind of music
♪ Even if nobody else sings along ♪
♪ So if you cannot take my hand... ♪
You all right, Leah?
Leah?
Who's Leah?
Had a nice night?
Yeah.
Go pictures?
Yeah.
What, with Ste?
Yeah.
This is no timefor lying, Jamie.
It's not a lie.
You went to the Gloucester, didn't you?
Look at me.
I only went for a drink.
That's where gay people go.
It's not just gay people go. Other people go.
Oh, well, people like you?
Yeah.
Miss Chauhanrung me today.
That old bag.
You never told me you kept getting hit.
Everyone gets hit.
Oh.
And does everyone get called a "queer bent bastard" and all?
You're pissed.
No, I'm not.
You're pissed from a bloody gay bar.
How do you know it's gay anyway?
Because it's got a bloody great pink neon ass outside of it.
You've been spying on me?
No.Someone at work saw you go in.
Well, it don't mean I'm gay.
They want to mind their own business.
That's what I said.
What are you getting on at me for, then?
Because sometimes, Jamie,
I can put two and two together and make bloody four.
I'm not bloodystupid, you know?
I went for a drink. Big deal.
Everyone in my class goes drinking.
But they don't all go tothe bloody Gloucester.
Some of them take drugs. At least I ain't doing that.
No, I bloody hope you're not.
Thanks a lot. Thanks a bundle.
Go back to bed.
I can't sleep, Jamie.
Don't take it out on me.
Will you just talk to me, Jamie?
I'm knackered.
Jamie, please, just talk to me.
What about?
I'm your mother!
Some things are just hard to say.
I know. I know that.
You think I'm too young.
You think it's just a phase.
You think I'm going to catch AIDS and everything.
Well, you know a lot about me, don't you?
Don't cry.
Shh. It's all right.
Shh.
I'm not going to put youout in the morning
like an empty bottle.
There was me going to bedevery night,
worried because you had toshare a bed with Ste,
and all the timeyou were...
You were doingthe 70 minus one.
I like the lad, Jamie,
but he hasn'tseen any life.
He's good to me.
Is he?
Yeah.
What have you done now?
Nothing.
Then why's she so upset?
Because I'm a queer.
A bender. Pufter. Nob-shiner.
Brown hatter. Shirt-flap lifter--
I get the picture.
Just leave me alone.
And she knows this?
No, I thought I'd tell you first.
This is...
It's...
It's cool.
Goodnight, kidder.
He was...
He was the most beautiful babyin Bermondsey.
I used to push him aroundin a little frilly hat,
in a big blue pram called "Queen of the Road."
None of that's changed.
You're fighting it, hon.
Fighting?!
I've been fighting all my life.
Kids picking on him.
I was there.
Counsel saying bollocks to benefit.
I was there!
When I had three P in my purse and an empty fridge,
I went robbing for that boy,
so don't talk to me about fighting.
You!
What have you ever had to fight for in your life?
[ ♪ "CREEQUE ALLEY" BYTHE MAMAS AND THE PAPAS ♪ ]
Thank you.
Thank you to all members of the Academy.
This award means so much to me.
I've never won anythingin my life before.
I'd like to thank my manager and my band,
but most of all,
I'd like to thankone very special person,
the woman from whom all energy flows.
This award is as much hers as mine.
The woman who gives me so much inspiration.
Let's hear it for her. Mama San.
Leah?
People say to me, they say...
Leah, are you drunk?
"Where do you get your energy from?"
Leah, it's 2:00 in the morning.
Has she taken something?
And I say, "Hey, Mama San."
Is your mother in?
Mama San, get on down, honey.
Your vibes are shooting through me now.
She working nights?
Don't ever let the lightleave you, Mama San.
Rose?
Leah?
Get your keys out.Hurry up.
Have you taken, like, a trip, you know?
Jamie!
Leah, let me have your keys, please.
You're giving me bad vibes, Mama.
She's on something.
Jamie!
You're an old, old man. I don't like old men.
That's cool. It's no problem.
Well, it is a problem actually, Tony.
Don't pander to her.
What's going on?
Rose!
I saw a video about Woodstock once.
Leah, get in hereand turn your bloody music down.
Tony! Tony, get her down!
Leah?
Leah, have you taken,like, a trip, you know?
Get down, you silly cow.
Here, body language, Tony.
Hey, you,pack it in, will you?
Oi. Asshole. Fuck off!
There's no need for that,you old hewer.
Jamie, help us.
It's them again.
I can see that.
Right.
How am I supposed to sleepwith that row going on?
It's all right, babes. You're safe.
I'll be glad to get off this bloody estate.
What?
BETTY:Nice one, Marlene.
I've been offered a job, if you must know.
Temporary licensee of a pub in Rotherhithe.
Nice little flat above it.
Thanks for telling me.
Snap.
TONY:Leah?
Oh, leave the silly cow!
We can't just...
Tony.
Tony!
Right, Jamie, indoors.
Ste, she knows.
My mum knows.
Why'd you have to go and grass?
I never.
Well, how come she knows?
Because she never came down with the last shower.
Jamie, get him an hankie.
There's a box of autumnal shades upon me bed.
[CARS HONKING]
Leah?
Leah!
Mama Cass!
I don't believe in secrets.
I like people to be straight up and honest.
I'm no fool.
You think I want these flats infamous for child murder?
No. So I won't be telling your dad.
He'd kill me.
Yeah, I've just said that.
No, he would.
Yeah, I think we've established that already.
They all would,all of them.
I'll bloody kill you in a minute
if you don't stop sniveling and shut up.
Look, you're a good lad,and that's what counts.
And somewhere,
you'll find people
that won't want to kill you.
No, I won't.
You found the Gloucester.
I hate it.
Well, somewhere else then. Shut up.
There ain't nowhere else.
There is, actually, Ste.
There's an island in the Mediterranean
called Lesbian,
and all its inhabitants are dykes.
I think you got your eye wiped there.
Now wipe them properly.
Fuck me.
We'll have none of that here.
I'm going to bed.
Five minutes.
Right, Sandra.
'Night, Sandra.
Cheers, Sandra.
Yeah, that's me name, Ste.Don't wear it out, eh?
LEAH: I wish I was the one that was going away.
Nothing ever happens around here.
I get up in the morning,
bake my face in half a ton of slap,
tong my hair with yesterday's lacquer.
That's it.
It's the same every bleeding day.
There's fuck-all to look forward to.
Well, what aboutyour new school?
Fell through.
Do you want to cometo the Gloucester?
Do what?
Gay pub.
Don't know any gay blokes.
Yes, you do. Yeah?
Yeah.
There'll beplenty of men.
Yeah,
and they all dance backwards and never get married.
See, I told you.
Going to Woolwich, ain't you?
What? Yeah.
Pub crawl,then Stars Nightclub.
You'll pull dressed like that.
Why don't you come down to Gloucester with us?
Ring the other girls, tellthem you'll meet them later.
Jamie...
You don't know how to enjoy yourselves, do you?
There's a male stripper tonight as well.
Louise?
Yeah?
I will never have grandchildren.
Aw...
Don't suppose you got any jobs at your new pub.
No.
But if I ever doturn it into a brothel,
I'll get backto you, okay?
Well, got to get in. Get ready.
Going out with Ste and Jamie tonight.
The Gloucester?
Yeah.
I intend to find myself a nice dyke tonight.
Because I'm telling you,
I'm through with men.
Well, if I hada camera now.
What?
Well, I'd take your picture.
Tony, what are you doing?
Can't keep away from you, babes.
I told you I'm going out with the girls from work.
I thought I couldtag along.
It's a girls' night out.
You'll only be bored.
Well, I want tocelebrate too.
Yeah, I know, but I told you--
They'd mind?
I'll mind.
How about one little kissto send me on my way?
Something to think oftill tomorrow?
Stop it.
Well, I'll ring you.
Tony--
Look, when'syour next night off?
No.
No, Tony, I think you'd better go.
Here, stick that down the chute for us,
will you?
What are you doing?
Staying in.
Laters.
Yeah.
You'll be seduced by a lesbian, Leah.
Why don't you come to bingo with me?
But don't you see, Mum? I am a lesbian.
Oh, no.
♪ Stars shining bright above you ♪
♪ Night breezes seem to whisper I love you ♪
Anyone about?
In there? No.
♪ Birds singing in the sycamore tree ♪
♪ Dream a little dream of me
Dance with me.
♪ Say nighty-night and kiss me
♪ Just hold me tight and tell me you'll miss me ♪
♪ While I'm alone and blue as can be ♪
♪ Dream a little dream of me
♪ Stars fading but I linger on, dear ♪
♪ Still craving your kiss
♪ I'm longing to linger till dawn, dear ♪
♪ Just saying this
♪ Sweet dreams till sunbeams find you ♪
♪ Sweet dreams that leave all worries behind you ♪
♪ But in your dreams whatever they be ♪
♪ Dream a little dream of me
Hey, Leah, give us a little drag on that.
Come on, then.
♪ Stars fading but I linger on, dear ♪
♪ Still craving your kiss
♪ I'm longing to linger till dawn, dear ♪
♪ Just saying this...
Hey, Ste. What?
Imagineyour dad's face.
♪ Sweet dreams till sunbeams find you ♪
♪ Sweet dreams that leave all worries far behind you ♪
Hey, Leah?
What?
What's this dyke going to be like?
Ah, big and butch.
What color eyes?
Hmm. Green.
Tall?
I'll have to look up.
Nice.
Yeah.
♪ Sweet dreams till sunbeams find you ♪
♪ Sweet dreams that leave all worries far behind you ♪
♪ But in your dreams whatever they be ♪
♪ Dream a little dream of me
♪ Da-da-da-da, da da da...
♪ When your world's closing in
♪ And there's no place to hide
♪ And you're needing a friend to be there ♪
♪ At your side
♪ Send a message to me
♪ I'll arrive and you'll see
♪ Whether you're right or wrong ♪
♪ This is where you belong
♪ Give it a try and you'll see
♪ Move in a little closer, baby ♪
♪ You've got to keep me closer, baby ♪
♪ Come in a little closer, baby ♪
♪ Together we can make it happen ♪
♪ Wait and see
♪ When your troubles arise
♪ Floating down from the sky
♪ And you're feeling let down
♪ You don't know what to do
♪ Give a holler to me
♪ I'm the one that you need
♪ Reach for my helping hand
♪ Then you will understand
♪ How simplified it can be
♪ Move in a little closer, baby ♪
♪ You've got to keep me closer, baby ♪
♪ Come in a little closer, baby ♪
♪ Together we can make it happen ♪
♪ Wait and see
♪ Move in a little closer, baby ♪
♪ You've got to keep me closer, baby ♪
♪ Come in a little closer, baby ♪
♪ Together we can make it happen ♪
♪ Wait and see
♪ Move in a little closer, baby ♪
♪ You've got to keep me closer, baby ♪
♪ Come in a little closer, baby... ♪♪