And since WYNX implemented its minority hiring program in 1995,
we've seen a steady rise in our audience and sales.
And... an increase in our marketplace value.
Not to mention the value of those luscious legs.
[chuckles]
Ooh, girl, they're so fine, they make me jealous of your pantyhose.
Flex, now, we have two days
to prepare for the Eastern Broadcasters' Conference.
Now, if we nail this, it will open the door for extra funding.
So keep your eyes off the prize.
Uh...
Duane, has my pillow wronged you in some way?
No, I'm just... I'm just fluffing it for you, dawg.
Fluff... fluff, fluff.
[crashing]
Breanna, what was that?
[Breanna] It wasn't the window in your room
you told me not to open because it's painted shut.
Uh, y'all excuse me while I check on Breanna...
And my supply of almond massage oil.
You're not allergic to nuts, are you, girl?
That's it, either you're going to have to ugly yourself up
or I'm going to gouge his eyes out. You have to tell him about us.
Look, Duane, flirting is part of our professional relationship.
He flirts, I resist. And don't worry.
My heart belongs to you, cookie toes.
[laughing] Oh...
Come and give your papa some sugar.
Ooh, well, well... come out for a butter knife
and get a little taste of the Spice Channel.
Breanna, you promise not to tell your father.
Oh, don't worry, my lips will remain sealed.
Oh, and by the way, there's a 'Lil Bow Wow concert next month
and front row center will be divine.
You're an evil little girl.
Oh, I get my license next year.
You ain't seen nothing yet, car man.
♪ Sometimes in this life ♪
- ♪ You can feel all by yourself ♪ - ♪ Check one, two ♪
♪ But I have a partner ♪
♪ When I can't trust no one else ♪
♪ So don't isolate yourself ♪
- ♪ When there's nobody around ♪ - ♪ Uh-huh, oh, yeah ♪
♪ I'll be there through thick and thin ♪
♪ What a true love we have found ♪
♪ Me and you against the world ♪
- ♪ Living one on one ♪ - ♪ One on one ♪
♪ Can't nobody break this bond ♪
♪ Living one on one ♪
♪ Life has just begun Now we're having fun ♪
♪ Living one on one ♪
- ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ - ♪ One on one ♪
All right. Let's go over the rules for the weekend
while I'm up at the Broadcasters' Conference.
Come on, Daddy, I'm 15.
If we were in Kathmandu,
I would have a husband and five kids by now.
Breanna, rules, quickly.
Home by 8:00, doors bolted, windows locked,
no boys, parties, or any type of social gatherings.
And what's the most important rule?
- No getting pregnant. - No getting pregnant. Right.
Dad, we'll be as saintly as heathens, come the Apocalypse.
I told you going to Sunday school would pay off.
You know what the thing about heathens is?
They always lie.
Party!
[Stacy] Duane?
Duane?
What...
- What is all this? - [laughs]
Aloha, my little mahi-mahi.
♪ Meka-leka-hani-chaka, Meka-leka-hani-chaka... ♪
[laughs] Oh, you're so crazy.
Baby... this is so sweet of you.
Well, remember how a couple of months ago we talked about flying to Hawaii
and then you reminded me of that violent reaction
you have to sunlight, what's that called again?
Chronic polymorphic light dermatosis.
That's it. At first, I thought you were lying.
But then I remembered...
We've never been out together in the daylight. So...
we're going native, right here under the safe,
soothing rays of my fluorescent lights.
Oh...
[Flex] Yo, Duane? You downstairs?
What is it with that man? He's like the sex terminator.
In here, here...
Oh, Duane, you dawg.
Did you hook up with the Samoan girl with the prosthetic leg?
Uh... uh, yeah.
She's in the bathroom right now making sure her, uh, her knees line up.
All right, cool, I just came to get my suitcase you borrowed
and I will get out of your little Polynesian pick-up joint.
All right. So, is everything set
to knock their socks off at the conference?
I'm all set to knock off something, man.
Ever since me and Stacy been working together on this thing
I'm telling you, dawg, we've been clicking like your mama's false teeth.
I don't know about this, Flex.
I mean, office romances are always bad news.
You know what they say: "Never fish off the company pier."
Duane, we are two professionals
who respect each other's intelligence and...
nakedness.
You know, I'm counting the minutes
till you get back from your Grandma's, Natasha.
No, I miss you more.
Yes, I do. Yes I do. Yes I do.
Are you as disgusted as I am?
Yes I am, yes I am, yes I am.
All right, now, let's go over this one more time.
All right, there's a knock at the door,
a homeless man with an axe standing there naked... what do you do?
Give him a sandwich and a blanket.
That's right, because the only thing he's trying to kill is his hunger pain.
Now, there's a guy with a bat and a shank at the fire escape.
Start running, but if he catches up, trip Spirit.
That's my girl.
And he needs to get out of here because I don't trust him.
[smooching]
I take that back. He's no longer a threat.
- Bye, Dad. Love you. - Bye, Mr. Washington.
Bye.
Okay, you've got the guest list, I got the refreshments,
now all we need is music.
Girl, your love is the gasoline that ignites the pistons of my soul.
- Get off the phone! - Get off the phone!
Yeah, it's them. The haters.
Your boopie-woopie loves you, too, spoogie-woogie.
Girl, it's like he's possessed.
How long is his little crush on Natasha going to last?
Girl, you know Arnaz falls quickly. He fell for you at first sight.
Well, that's me, I got that kind of power.
So, wait, you can't come to the party?
Your little brother has a recital?
Well, I don't have to go to the party. I'm sure she can find another deejay.
What? Girl, watch me use my power.
Um, Arnaz, sweetie, I need to talk to you about being the deejay at my party.
Uh, Breanna, I'm not finished yet.
Peace out, spoogie-woogie.
Now you're finished.
What's her problem?
Power failure.
[laughing] Ooh, Flex, we kicked butt!
Yeah, and when you told those station managers
to step foot into the 21st century...
[dramatically] I was at the mountain top.
Yeah, well, when you told them to take those steps
with some brown feet beside them, you had them speaking in tongues.
Oh, man!
Look, the point is...
you really came through for the station, Flex.
We are bound to get that funding now.
[knock on door]
Ooh, that would be the bubbly.
Wow, champagne and chocolate-covered strawberries.
Looks like you're bringing out the big guns.
Oh, uh, you'll know when I bring out the big guns.
[chuckles]
In ten minutes, we're going to have a stream
of hotties up in here.
And everybody's going to want an audience
with the girl who made the cocktail weenies.
- ♪ Go... go... ♪ - [knock on door]
Okay, uh, somebody's here early, weenie girl.
Ooh, no, never mind, just a jumbo shrimp.
Uh, Duane, what are you doing here?
Uh, your Daddy asked me to stop by and check in on you
and your adolescent shenanigans.
But we're not doing anything.
- Oh, is that so? - No.
Oh, I see some sodas.
I see some napkins. I see some pumpkin seeds.
Either you're planning a party or an AA meeting.
Duane, please don't ruin this for me.
I'm not going to ruin anything for you.
I'm just going to sit here, kick off my shoes, sit back,
and soak in the festivities.
You know, Duane...
only a trusting man could leave my daddy alone
with Stacy in a romantic hotel
for a whole long, long, moonlit night.
A long, sultry, beckoning night.
No, I know what you're doing, and it's not going to work.
Nothing would make me ignore my godfatherly duties.
I trust Stacy.
- Okay. - Okay.
Why, y'all hear something?
No, in fact, my daddy's been so busy, he hasn't even checked in with me yet.
And the only time my daddy doesn't check in with me
is when he's... ooh.
No, stop it, stop it, stop it.
Stop it.
Nothing's going to happen.
Stacy promised me nothing would.
I don't know, I saw him packing two bottles
of his good cologne: the Burberry.
- Not the Burberry! - Yes.
What time is it, Spirit?
Time to get our party on!
[both] ♪ Oh, what, what... ♪
[doorbell rings]
Ooh, there he is. There's Arnaz with the music right now.
Lewis, what are you doing here? I don't remember inviting you.
Oh, you didn't. Dutch told me to come. You know Dutch, right?
The guy that knocked me out last week. Lost a tooth, want to see?
- Weenie? - Ugh!
You know, weenies are an amalgamation of pork products with a hint of rat hair.
Ooh, Arnaz, I am so glad you're here.
- Oh, so are we. - We?
Yeah.
Hey, everybody.
Uh, what happened to Little Bobby's recital?
Oh, who cares? He's only a half brother.
And he can't soothe my soul like my man. I'm here for him all evening.
The lady knows what she wants. Come on.
♪ She's a maniac ♪
♪ Maniac on the floor ♪
♪ And she's dancing like She's never danced before... ♪
[screams]
- Wet me, Flex! - [laughing]
Come on, baby.
Um, Flex, I can't.
What's wrong? We're having fun, the mood is right.
I like you, we both like me.
Okay, Flex, look, I'm seeing somebody, all right?
Technically, I'm seeing somebody.
And right now I'm seeing them tied up and being tickled with feathers.
I'm... I'm serious, Flex.
And he happens to be a very sweet and loving man.
Okay, we've had Christmas parties, office picnics,
and an annual bull roast, and I've never met this guy.
Why are you hiding him?
[imitating Schwarzenegger] Is he wanted by the law?
Is he a victim of a chemical accident?
Or is he just a loser?
He's an international businessman.
[normal voice] Oh, really? Business, huh? What kind? Quickly.
Uh...
Import, export, textiles, commodities, pork bellies,
on-shore drilling, off-shore drilling, horse whisperer?
Okay, so he doesn't have a great job like you or I do.
And so he makes ten cents more than minimum wage.
In the Philippines.
I understand.
He's a super loser!
[funky music plays]
Okay, Breanna, I just finished making sure everybody has punch.
Now I'm going to keep Arnaz company.
Wait, wait, wait, girl. Um, can you do me another favor?
Can you take all of the red dots out of the olives?
They can be a little disturbing, girl, you know.
Can't you get somebody else to do that? I haven't spent any time with Arnaz.
Oh, but, girl, no one's as good as you.
So, get to pitting.
Thank you, Natasha. Thank you, girl. Go on, girl.
Girl, you're working her like an overseer come harvest.
I have to. As long as she has Arnaz
wrapped around her little finger, he is of no use to me...
And I will not be ignored, okay?
Wouldn't it be a whole lot easier
if you just tell Arnaz that you have feelings for him?
Okay, um, are you eating those weenies or smoking them?
I don't have any feelings for Arnaz.
All right, thanks, man. Keep this.
All right, no hint of Burberry. Oh.
Duane Odell Knox, what are you doing?
She said you're special, and she would never cheat on you.
[Stacy] Flex Washington, you the man.
Well, I'm just trying to help out a damsel in distress.
[laughing]
Well, if you were just trying to help
why did you take me back down to the bar
so we could have the second bottle of champagne?
Cause you know it makes me randy.
I was hoping that it would make you naked.
Ooh, Flex, you dirty, dirty boy.
Let me spank your booty.
Oh, who made this bed?
It's really hard. [Laughs]
[Duane] On the floor? Oh, she's a hussy.
I should kill them both. No, no. Who said that?
- [groaning] - That can't be comfortable.
Let me get you into bed.
Yeah, take me to bed, big boy.
Ooh, ooh, ooh.
Too bad for you, I'm a nice guy.
Okay.
Where we going?
Lord, give me strength.
Going up.
- [phone ringing] - Oh, wait.
Flex, we've got to answer my purse.
There you go.
Okay. Hello?
[whispers] Tell him to put you down right now.
Oh, my God. He's in my head.
Who is that? Is that your super loser?
Take your hands off my woman.
- Duane? - Yeah.
Your "super loser."
Hold, wait a minute. You... and you?
Well, yeah. Stacy and I have been seeing each other
ever since that big storm last Christmas.
Remember when we, uh, helped out at the station?
We're in love. Go on, tell him, corn bread.
[inaudible]
Go on, tell him about our little Hawaiian adventure.
[stammering weakly]
You can't, can you?
My mama was right... You are ashamed of me.
Arnaz?
Uh, Lewis, did you see where Arnaz went?
I think he and Natasha just ducked into your bedroom.
Wow, Breanna's bedroom.
This is cool. Never been allowed in here before.
Yes, alone.
By ourselves.
The two of us.
Hey, she kept that piece of origami I gave her.
She called it ori-gag-me.
Arnaz.
Your lips are... so soft.
Mm, so are yours, Breanna.
Breanna?
Um...
Ow!
I couldn't find him. He must have taken off.
Now, this is all your fault.
I never thought that a woman would come between me and Duane.
Don't blame me, Flex.
You're the one that called him a super loser.
You take that back, all right?
My friend Duane is not a super loser.
You don't know anything about him. Oh, I know a lot about him. I know...
Nothing!
Because if you did, you never would have been ashamed of him.
And you know why?
Because he knows how to be a real friend.
When I was away at college and Nicole was pregnant...
he checked on her every single day.
And when I was in the NBA on the road,
he would put on stilts and stand around Breanna's crib
just so she could see a tall person and think daddy was home.
To put it simply...
I love that man. And you don't deserve him.
Man, I heard every word, dawg. I love you, too! Come here.
Hey, that Burberry is kind of nice.
Man, I never would have gone after your girl
if I'd have known it was your girl.
And I never would have called you loser
if I'd known you were the loser in question.
But why did you guys keep this a secret?
Flex, if I had told you
that I was in love with Duane, what would you have done?
[laughing]
There, you see?
But then I would have told you...
you couldn't have picked a better guy
than my best friend, my dawg.
Thanks, man. That Burberry is nice.
All right.
If you two will excuse me,
I think I saw two flight attendants at the bar
and they looked they might want to fly Air Flex.
Duane... I'm sorry.
And if you take me back, you'll never regret it.
Well, I don't know, corn bread.
I mean, you hurt me. You hurt me deep.
Oh, man, Duane, I'm all messed up.
I've been chasing a good career instead of a good man.
I only hope I haven't lost a good one in you.
I love you, cookie toes.
And I'm ready to tell the world.
That's not good enough.
- Sugar nose? - Okay.
Oh, what are they doing in there?
What? What? What?
The only way to find out is to open the door and go in.
That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard of.
Now move out of the way so I can open the door and go in.
[crashing]
What was that?
Breanna, there's something wrong with the window in your dad's room.
And I think somebody might have just lost a big toe.
Oh, what are people doing in my daddy's room?
Come on.
I'm sorry, Natasha.
Don't you mean Breanna?
Hey, where's Breanna? I have to tell her I'm leaving.
She's in Flex's bedroom with Lewis.
Lewis?
Natasha. Natasha, wait.
Spirit! Spirit!
What happened? My bedroom door is open. Where's Natasha and Arnaz?
Girl, they did what they had to do and they just left.
Hey, Daddy.
Hey, Bree. You're up early.
Yeah, couldn't sleep.
Wow, the place looks nice.
You vacuumed, you mopped, you dusted.
[sniffs] Is that pine I smell?
Yeah, well, I know you like a clean house.
- You're punished. - Why?
No teenager uses Pine-Sol unless they're trying to hide something.
You can tell all that from Pine-Sol?
Uh-huh, that... and Duane told me.
♪ One on one ♪
♪ Ooh, ooh ♪
♪ One on one ♪
♪ Ooh, ooh ♪
♪ One on one ♪
- I love you, Daddy. - I love you, too, Nellie.