好在你及时把她送到医院 It's a good thing we got her to the hospital in time.
-她是怎么了 -长水痘 -What's wrong with her? -It's chickenpox.
这种流行病四处传播 There seems to be a small epidemic going around.
我猜你女儿小时候 Your daughter never had the
没有长过水痘吧 chickenpox as a little girl I take it?
没有 没有 她健康得不得了 No, no, she's been perfectly healthy.
问题就在这里 Well that's the problem. See chickenpox is
小孩长水痘司空见惯 pretty normal thing with young children.
要是等到长大一些再长 As you get older it becomes a more
这种病的危险性就会翻倍 and more ferocious disease.
谢莉 瞧瞧谁来看你了 Shelley, looks who's come to visit you?
-是弟弟斯坦哦 -哇塞 -Your little brother Stan. -Oh whoopee!
大多数人都不知道 You know, most people don't realize
其实水痘是疱疹的一种 chickenpox is actually a form of herpes.
老姐 你的脸上长疱疹 Dude, you got herpes on your face!
-闭嘴 小鬼 -我女儿不会有事吧 -Shut up, brat! -Will my daughter be ok?
-她不会有事的 -住手 -She'll be fine. -Stop it!
谨慎起见 还是让她住院观察 We just want to be cautious and monitor her here.
快点 斯坦利 亲亲姐姐 Come on Stanley, give your sister a kiss,
我们得回去了 and then we have to go.
医生说 And then the doctor said that
越大长水痘 就越危险 it's much worse as you get older.
我女儿现在的情况糟透了 My daughter is in pretty bad shape now,
要是二十多岁再长的话 小命就不保了 but if she were in her 20s, she could die!
老天 我从来不知道 My god, I never knew the chickenpox
长水痘原来这么危险 was such a dangerous illness!
长水痘这种事 还是要趁早 I guess it's much better to get it when you're young.
我打算 So tell me if I'm crazy but I started
让孩子跟长水痘的小伙伴一起玩 thinking that we should intentionally
让他们在小时候就长水痘 have our boys play with a child who has the chickenpox.
这样做是不是太离谱了 Let them get it now while they're young.
一点儿都不离谱 莎伦 That's not crazy at all Sharon.
妈妈都会这么做 Mothers do it all the time.
没错 我小时候 Ooh yes, when I was a child my mother
妈妈就把我送到 had me go over to a little girl's house
长水痘的小朋友家里 好让我也长 who had the chickenpox, just so I would get it.
这么说这个点子还是靠谱咯 So it's not such a crazy idea after all.
当然靠谱 我百分百肯定 No no no! And I'm pretty sure that strange
那个怪小鬼肯尼正在长水痘 little boy Kenny has the chickenpox right now.
你们在商量什么 Are you guys having a meeting or something?
今天晚上 你们想不想 How would you boys like to have a slumber party
去小伙伴肯尼家开卧谈会呢 at your little friend Kenny's House tonight?
没门 肯尼家穷死了 No way dude, Kenny's family is poor.
他们家住在贫民区 They live in the ghetto!
就是 不如在这儿开吧 Yeah, let's just have a slumber party here.
孩子们 今天晚上 Boys, you're going to sleep over
你们都要睡在肯尼家 就这么定了 at Kenny's and that's final.
衰 Oh weak!
真想不通 I wonder why our moms wanted us
老妈们为什么非要我们去肯尼家过夜 to sleep over at Kenny's so bad.
没错 越想越奇怪 Yeah, it's pretty weird.
他们家最好有任天堂 All I can say is they better have Nintendo.
肯尼家到了 Well here's Kenny's house.
芝加哥的早晨阴沉而寒冷 In the ghetto on the cold and grey Chicago morning,
我最爱的宝贝在贫民区降生 my little favorite child is born in the ghetto...
- 什么事 -我们来跟肯尼开卧谈会 -Yeah? -We're here to have a slumber party with Kenny.
有没有搞错 你们不知道肯尼病了吗 What? Don't you know Kenny's sick with...
要的就是这个 记得吗 That's the whole point, remember?
他们老妈希望他们早点长 Their moms want them to catch it while they're young.
没错 Oh yeah.
-长什么 -没什么 进来吧 -Catch what? -Nothing... come on in.
我正在做晚饭 I was just making dinner.
他的妈妈掉眼泪 ...and his mama cries...cause if it's...
贫民区多了一张饥饿的嘴 她要怎么喂 another bit of hunger for my two feet in the ghetto...
她要怎么喂 in the ghetto...
-卡特曼 -干嘛 -Cartman! -What?
肯尼 小伙伴来了 Kenny! Your little friends are here!
出来一起玩呀 Come play with them!
妈妈 人家生病了 But mom, I'm fucking sick!
我知道你病了 赶紧滚出来 I know you're sick, now get your buns out here!
笨蛋 Buns.
嘿 你们几个怎么来了 Hey you guys, what's going on?
不是吧 老兄 你脸上也长疱疹了 Whoa dude! You got herpes on your face, too!
-任天堂呢 -我们家没有任天堂 -Where is the Ninendo? -We don't have a Nintendo.
只有插在黑白电视上的 We got a calico-vision plugged
克雷克版游戏机 into the black and white TV.
天啊 这儿跟第三世界有什么两样 Oh my god. This is like a third world country.
把睡袋放在肯尼的房间 Throw your sleeping bags in Kenny's room
我们要开饭了 and then go grab some dinner.
赞 我饿死了 Oh good, I'm starving.
先祷告吧 Let's say grace.
上帝 感谢您 Lord... we thank you for this
赐予我们 staggering payload of frozen waffles
这么大一盘冷冻华夫饼 that you have bestowed upon us.
我们对您如此虔诚 And since we have been faithful to you,
我们知道 总有一天 we know that you will send us some
你会让好运降临 good fortune one of these days,
虽然现在 even though you sure as hell seem to
-你只顾自己逍遥快活 -阿门 -be taking your sweet time. Amen. -Amen.
好了 开吃 Ok, let's dig in.
是我的 不准跟我抢 That one's mine! That one's mine!
今晚搭配冷冻华夫饼的 What kind of side dishes will we be enjoying
是什么配菜呢 this evening with our frozen waffles?
难道没有配菜吗 Am I to understand there will be no side dishes?
凯尔 你那律师老爸拿回家的工资袋 So Kyle, your dad still bringing home
还是可以当板砖用吗 those big fat lawyer paychecks?
-不清楚 -斯图尔特 少发牢骚 -I don't know. -Stewart, don't even get started.
干嘛 问个问题而已 What, I'm just asking a question.
年轻那会儿 You know your dad and I used to be
你老爸和我是铁哥们 best friends when we were teenagers.
还一起在匹萨小屋打过工 We even worked together at Pizza Shack.
后来他考上了 But he got promoted,
去了社区大学 我却没有 went off to community college, and I didn't.
知道为什么吗 因为你老爸是犹太人 And you know why? Cause your dad's Jewish!
猛料哦 I heard that.
你少胡说八道 斯图尔特 That ain't why Stewart!
明明是因为你是个醉鬼加白痴 It's because you're an alcoholic retard,
而他的理想不是每晚 and he had dreams of not eating frozen
吃冷冻的华夫饼 waffles for dinner every night!!
嘿 你不会做饭也是我的错吗 Hey, is it my fault you don't know how to cook?
就这破饼 还能做出什么花样 白痴 What am I supposed to do with frozen waffles clamhead?
扔进烤箱就成了 你行你煮啊 You put em in the toaster, you cook em!
你就是不会用调味品 You just don't know how to use spices and stuff.
我的饼好了 我的饼好了 My waffle's done, my waffle's done!
凯文 今天人多饼少 Now Kevin, we ain't go enough for everybody.
你跟弟弟分着吃 You have to split that with your brother.
不是吧 他妈的这不等于要我的命吗 Oh geezes, are you fucking killing me?
嘿 饭桌上不准他妈他妈的 Hey! We don't say fuck at the
你个小王八蛋 table you little asshole!
对哦 饭桌上还不准说配菜 Yeah, we apparently don't say sidedishes either.
肯尼宝贝 要打喷嚏就冲他们打 Kenny honey, if you're gonna sneeze, sneeze on them.
你们家还能再烂点吗 肯尼 Man your family sucks ass Kenny.
哪有拿冷冻华夫饼当晚饭的道理 Whoever heard of frozen waffles for dinner?
别抱怨了 赶紧打开睡袋睡觉 Come on, let's just get in our sleeping
捱过今晚就得了 bags and get this night overwith.
(特伦斯与菲利普双人秀)
(咱们寻宝去)
卡特曼 这是什么玩意儿 Cartman, what the hell is that?
我的艾卡尔睡袋 酷不 It's my Urkel sleeping bag. Isn't it cool?
-酷你个头 -我看到一只耗子 -No, it's not cool! -Dude, I think I just saw a rat.
你们家还有耗子 肯尼 Ah! You have rats in your house too, Kenny?
哥们 说真的 你最好赶紧脱贫 Dude seriously, you better stop being so poor
不然我朝你扔石头 or else I'm gonna start hocking rocks at ya.
跟耗子一起睡 不太健康吧 I don't think it's very healthy to sleep with rats.
装上天花板后 I don't think we have rats since
咱家就没耗子了 we put the fucking celing in.
好的 我瞧瞧 太好了 你发烧了 Ok let me see. Oh goody you've got a fever!
太好了 发烧了还叫好 Goody? What do you mean goody?
是的 看来水痘已经盯上你了 Yep, it looks like you've got chickenpox alright.
水痘 Chickenpox?
不是吧 肯定是昨晚被肯尼传染了 Oh no I must've caught it from Kenny last night.
老天 Oh gee, I guess you did.
你好像很开心 Well, you sure seem happy about it.
没错 睡觉去 小家伙 Alright, it's off to bed with you young man.
别抓 宝贝 Don't scratch it, hon.
妈妈 好痒 我受不了 But mom seriously it itches, I can't stand it!
-不行 宝贝 -妈妈 我痒 -No, hon. -Mom, seriously!
-给你止痛水 -不要 -I got you some calamine lotion. -I don't wanna.
可以止痒哦 It'll make your itches go away.
-给我 -别涂太多 宝贝 -Ay give me that! -Not too much hon.
瓶子上说了 用量过多有害 It says on the bottle that too much can be bad.
还要 More calamine lotion!
怎么搞的 他一点儿病都没有 I don't understand it, he's perfectly healthy.
没错 我感觉好极了 Yeah, I feel great.
你昨晚真的睡在肯尼家吗 Are you sure you stayed over at Kenny's house?
当然了 我不是跟你说了吗 Yeah dude. I told you we had
早餐吃的是面包三明治 bread sandwiches for breakfast.
-在一间屋睡的吗 -是啊 怎么了 -Did you sleep in the same room? -Yes, why?
波比 想不想再去肯尼家 Bobie, how would you like to spend the
住一晚上 night at your friend Kenny's house again?
打死我也不去 他们家太逊了 No way dude, it sucked ass.
连有线电视都没有 They didn't even have cable.
我觉得你应该 Well I think you need to spend
多陪陪朋友 more time with your friends.
肯尼不算我朋友 老妈 Kenny's not really my friend ma.
我才不关心他的死活 I don't give a rat's ass about him.
我给麦考米克太太打电话 I'm gonna give Mrs. McCormick a call.
嘿 老爹 年轻的时候 Hey dad, is it true that you and Kenny's dad
你真的跟肯尼老爸是铁哥们吗 used to be best friends when you were young?
谁 斯图尔特吗 没错 没错 我们铁着呢 Who Stewart? Yeah, yeah, I guess we were.
那为什么肯尼家啃冷冻华夫饼 Well how come Kenny's family eats frozen
屋里耗子乱跑 waffles for dinner and has rats on the floor,
我们却吃得好 住得好 while we have a big house and lots of food?
因为肯尼家的钱少 Well because Kenny's family doesn't
咱们家的钱多 have as much money as we do.
如果他们又穷又饿 But why? If they're hungry and poor,
我们干嘛不分一半吃的给他们 Why don't we just give them half of our food?
小子 你要学的还多着呢 坐 儿子 Boy have you got a lot to learn. Sit down son.
凯尔 我们人类是一个社会 You see Kyle, we humans work as a society.
社会要发展 天才和傻子都不能少 In order for a society to thrive we need gods and clods.
天才和傻子 Gods and clods?
是的 为了上法学院 我努力学习 Yes, you see I spent a lot of time going to law school,
之所以能考上 and I was able to go because I have
是因为我比别人聪明那么一点 a slightly higher intelect than others.
可我还是需要有人加油 But I still need people to pump my gas,
炸薯条 and make my french fries,
修理坏掉的洗衣机 and fix my laundry machine when it breaks down.
-我懂了 天才和傻子 -是的 -Ooh I see. Gods and clods. -That's right,
所以肯尼家安于现状 so Kenny's family is happy just the way they are.
我们都是美国这台机器上的一个零部件 And we're all a functioning part of America.
斯坦利 想要点什么吗 Stanley, can I get you anything else?
斯坦利 天啊 Stanley? Oh my god.
兰迪 兰迪 快来 他快烧成火球了 Randy! Randy, hurry he's burning up!
别担心 斯坦利 Don't you worry Stanley,
你不会有事的 you're going to be ok.
我们出去说吧 Can I talk to you outside?
孩子们 爸爸和我去去就回 好吗 Kids, daddy and I are gonna be right back, ok?
好的 Ok.
活该 你个小鬼头 Serves you right, you little brat.
好歹我死不了 你就难说了 At least I'm not gonna die from it like you might!
我要是死了 也要拉你垫背 If I die from this I'm taking you with me!
卡罗会不会发现她是 Will Carol find out she's a...
我不想看这个 I don't wanna watch this.
我要看特伦斯和菲利普 I wanna watch Terrance and Phillip.
就看这个 We're watching this.
遥控器在我手上 臭女人 Well I've got the remote bitch!
特伦斯 你看看我的菊花 Say Terrance would you check my ass
有没有什么不对劲 for abnormalities?
行 菲利普 Sure thing Phillip.
你又捉弄我 You got me again!
无聊透了 That's tom foolery.
-给我遥控器 -休想 -Give me the remote. -No way dude.
一整天都看特伦斯和菲利普 We're gonna watch Terrance and Philllip all day.
让我出去 Get me outta here!
她 She was...
他会康复的 He'll be ok. But it's a good idea
不过最好先观察一段时间 for us to monitor him for a while.
天啊 我们都干了些什么 Oh god, what have we done?
别这样 这事也不能怪你 There there now, it's not your fault.
医生 我们故意送儿子 Doctor, we purposely sent our
跟长水痘的朋友一起住 son to stay with a friend who had chickenpox
好让他早点长水痘 so that he would get it early.
不是吧 有这么当爹妈的吗 Oh wow, you did? Wow, you guys suck.
-可以回家了吗 -不行 孩子 -Can we go home now, mom? -No bubla,
再跟肯尼多玩会儿 you play with Kenny some more.
都玩了八个小时了 But we've been playing for 8 hours!
还能玩什么呢 We can't think of anything else to do.
我知道有个超级棒的游戏 I've got a great game for you!
-叫张嘴巴 -什么是张嘴巴 -It's called Ookie-Mouth. -What's ooki-mouth?
首先 肯尼往你嘴里吐口水 First you let Kenny spit in your mouth.
然后你把口水咽了 Then you try to swallow his spit
同时说张嘴巴 and try to say ooki-mouth at the same time.
-真变态 -哪里变态 好玩极了 试试吧 -Sick, dude! -No no bobie, it's loads of fun. Try it!
这招应该管用 That outta take care of it.
再来杯热水吗 You want some more hot water?
不了 谢谢 喝得我肺叶都漂起来了 Oh no thank you, it's terrific though!
你们家就没有茶包吗 You don't have any tea bags or coffee
往茶包里放咖啡渣也是好的嘛 grounds to go in the tea bags do you?
那些都是烧钱又败家的玩意儿 Ah, we don't care for that hoidy, toydi, rich folks stuff.
我明白了 你们家走的是简朴风 I see, well you certainly have a...
麦考米克太太 humble home, Mrs. McCormick.
可惜我老公就是个不成器的 Yeah well unfortunately my husband
除了喝酒什么都不会的混球 is a washed up hunk of shit!
抱歉听你这么说 Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.
-张嘴 恶心 我做不到 妈妈 -再试试 -Ookie mo-GH...Gross! I can't do it ma! -Try again Bobie!
你知道的 你丈夫和我丈夫 You know your husband and mine
年轻时一起打过工 used to work together as teenagers.
他们是铁哥们 Oh they was best friends.
穿一条裤子的交情 You couldn't separate them.
我和杰拉尔德是大学里认识的 所以我不知道 Really? I met Gerald in college, so I didn't know.
他们怎么了 What happened to them?
慢慢地疏远了吧 Oh they just grew apart I guess.
你丈夫离开匹萨店 I think Stewart's a little jealous that
成为人生赢家 your husband got out of making pizzas
斯图尔特有些羡慕嫉妒恨 and went on to make something of himself.
太糟糕了 Well that's too bad.
你丈夫肯定是好人 I'm sure your husband is a fine man.
好什么好 废物一个 Oh hell no. He's a nothing of deer turd.
他们以前的交情那么好 You say they were such good friends,
如今却不来往了 多傻呀 it's silly they don't even talk anymore.
-咱们让他们重归于好吧 -我不知道 -Let's get them together. -I don't know.
安排他们钓钓鱼之类 不就行了吗 We'll just arrange a little fishing trip for them or something.
说张开嘴 同时吞肯尼的口水 I can't say ookie mouth and have Kenny
人家实在做不到啊 Spit down my throat at the same time.
简直是不可能完成的任务 It's impossible.
熟能生巧 宝贝 Practice makes perfect, Bobie.
止痛水呢 Where's that calamine lotion?
菲利普 我有好消息和坏消息 Phillip, I got good news and bad news.
有话直说 特伦斯 Give it to me straight Terrance.
好消息是 你的健康报告一切正常 The good news is you have a clean pail of health.
这下放心了 Oh what a relief!
坏消息是你得了癌症 The bad news is you have cancer.
-癌症 -是的 你的屁股正在衰竭 -Cancer! -Yes, I'm afraid, your ass is collapsing.
-我的屁股正在衰竭 -是 看到片子了吗 -My ass is collapsing! -Yeah. See this X-Ray?
这是你的屁股 That's your ass.
看见那条线了吗 代表你的屁股正在衰竭 See that line? That's your ass collapsing.
你的屁股正在衰竭 Your ass is collapsing!
这么说我以后不能放屁了吗 Does this mean I won't be able to fart anymore?
不是 意思是说你快嗝屁了 No, it means you won't be able to live anymore.
不要 Oh no!
该死 Damn it!
滚开 小猫 等等 过来 猫咪 No kitty that's a...wait a minute. Come here Kitty.
我回来了 宝贝 给你买了止痛水 I'm back hon, I got some more calamine lotion.
刚刚好 给我 It's about friggin time! Give me that!
悠着点用 宝贝 Just use a little bit of that stuff hon.
能撑一段时间 It has to last a while.
爽啊 爽歪歪的爽 Ooh yes...you guys...seriosly man...
没想到你喜欢钓鱼 杰瑞 I didn't know you liked to fish, Gerry.
我爱死了 Oh yeah I love it.
不过好久没钓了 I haven't done it for a while though.
我买了些东西 I had to run out a buy a few things.
鱼竿 卷轴 还有 A rod and a reel and a...
-钓具箱 -没错 钓具箱 -Tackle box? -Yeah! Tackle box.
天哪 山上的空气好新鲜 Man, smell that mountain air.
多么美妙的周六早晨 What a great Saturday morning.
周末实在是棒极了 Aren't weekends just the best?
对无业游民来说 周末有个屁用 When you're uh unemployed, weekends are meaningless.
没错 没错 没错 Right, right right.
同学们 And so children,
这就是妓女和警察的区别 that's how you tell a prostitute from a policeman.
有问题吗 Now are there any questions?
你说 凯尔 Yes Kyle.
这跟美国历史有什么关系 What the hell does that have to do with American history?
问得好 凯尔 That's a good question Kyle.
还有别的问题吗 Are there any other questions?
加里森先生 只有我一个 Mr. Garrison, I'm the only one here.
其他人都长鸡水痘了 Everyone else has chicken herpes.
对哦 对哦 Right, right.
好的 今天的作业是写一篇作文 Well class, I'm gonna assign you all a paper.
作文的题目是 The theme of the paper will be,
-如何构建和谐的美国社会 -什么 -How I would make America better? -What?
是大家都要写 还是只有我 Does everybody have to do it or just me?
别担心 凯尔 Don't worry Kyle,
我会把家庭作业 I'm sending home work to all the children
带给所有生病的同学 who are out sick.
他们也要交 They'll have to turn in a paper too.
家庭作业 Homework?
可我还在住院 But I'm in the hospital!
就是因为你生病 Well your teacher sent this stuff over
老师才把作业送过来 for you to do while you're sick.
那个老不死的 That son of a bitch!
又变态 又古怪 What kind of sick weirdo is he!?
斯坦利 我知道在你这个年纪 Now Stanley, I know at your age teachers
会觉得老师是铁石心肠 can seem cold and heartless,
等你长大了 就会明白他的良苦用心 but later you'll understand that he did this
其实他都是为你好 for your own good.
加里森先生除外 老妈 他是不折不扣的变态 Not Mr. Garrison ma, he really is a sick weirdo.
这倒是真的 他的确是变态 Yeah, it's true, he is.
反正笔和纸都在这儿了 Oh. Well anyway, here's a pencil and some paper.
嘿 你们要去哪儿 Hey, where're you going?
去快乐汉堡喝奶昔 We're going down to Happy Burger for some milkshakes.
-奶昔 -没错 再去看电影 -Milkshakes? -Yeah and then we're going to the movies!
-再见 儿子 -靠 -See ya, son! -Weak!
这就是美国存在的方式 So this is how America works.
有天才 也有傻子 We have gods and clods.
爸爸说美国要进步 大款和穷鬼一个也不能少 My dad says America needs both rich and
但我有更高明的点子 poor to survive, but I have a better idea.
我就是想不明白 施瓦兹医生 No I don't understand it Dr. Schwartz,
他一点儿事也没有 he's perfectly healthy.
连着三天去肯尼家 He's been over at Kenny's house 3 days in a row,
-连水痘的影子都没看见 -什么 -and still hasn't caught the chickenpox. -What?
我没招了 I don't know what else to do.
去肯尼家的其他孩子都长水痘了 We sent the other boys over and they all got sick,
可我家的小凯尔一颗也没长 but I can't get my little Kyle to catch it!
-好可怕 -凯尔 你怎么在这儿 宝宝 -Oh my god! -Kyle! What are you doing there honey?
-好啊你 -再联系 施瓦兹医生 -You! -I'll call you back Dr.Shwartz.
-好啊你 -怎么了 宝贝 怎么了 -You! -What bubala, what is it?
原来你让我们去肯尼家是有目的的 You sent us over to Kenny's house on purpose!
你想害我们生病 You wanted us to get sick!
哎 这都是为你好 凯尔 Oy. It was for your own good Kyle.
我想让你早点长水痘 I wanted you to get chickenpox while you were young.
为什么 好让我躺在医院等死吗 Why? So I could be sitting in the hospital
跟斯坦一起手牵手见上帝 waiting to die like Stan!
别这样 凯尔 来妈妈这儿 Now Kyle, come here.
离我远点 你个疯女人 You get away from me, you crazy woman!
天啊 Oh boy.
(啤酒)
-要啤酒吗 -不了 谢谢 我自己有 -Beer? -Oh no thanks, I brought my own.
阿斯彭的手制啤酒样品 Microbrew sampler from Aspen.
产自当地酒厂 有六种不同口味 Has 6 different beers from local breweries.
对了 还记得我们在你妈妈的后院 Say, remember the time we built the fort
盖了座城堡吗 in your mom's back yard?
记得 用了整整两年才搞定 Yeah. It took damned 2 years to finish it.
那一大堆垃圾后来怎么样了 What ever happened to that old hunk of junk?
-后来成了我的家 -是的 -That's where I live now. -Oh, right.
所以霹雳游侠是全美最精彩的电视剧 And so that's why nightrider was the best show in America.
-斯坦 斯坦 -把她吵醒 我俩就死定了 -Stan Stan! -Wake her up and we're both dead.
抱歉 抱歉 Sorry, sorry...
记得吧 我们在肯尼家过夜后 You know how after we spent the night
你和卡特曼就长了水痘 at Kenny's house you and Cartman got sick with chickenpox?
-没错 -哥们 原来是爸妈搞的鬼 -Yeah. -Dude, our parents sent us over there to get us sick.
你在说什么 What are you talking about?
他们明知在肯尼家过夜 They knew that staying at Kenny's house
会让我们生病 would make us sick.
-却还是这么做了 -真的吗 -And they made us do it anyway. -They did?
-没错 我知道为什么 -为什么 -Yeah, and I think I figured out why. -Why?
-因为他们是一群大混蛋 -说得对 -Because they're a bunch of assholes. -Of course!
快点 哥们 咱们快走 Come on dude, we gotta get outta here.
不知道他们还要耍什么花招 I don't know what they're planning next,
但肯定没好事 but it can't be good.
希望有一天 美国更像恩多星 I hope that one day America can be more like Endor.
那里住着伊瓦兹人 Where the Ewats live.
恩多星非常 Endor is very...
老妈 开门 Mom asnwer that!
恩多星有疯狂的伊瓦兹人和烤肉 They have crazed Ewats and barbeques,
所以和美国相比 我更喜欢恩多星 which is why I like Endor more than America.
卡特曼 几天前我们在肯尼家过了一夜 Cartman, you remember how we all spent
你还记得吧 the night at Kenny's a couple of days ago?
我记得干啃冷冰冰的饼 没有配菜 I remember frozen waffles with no sidedishes.
卡特曼 是爸妈故意让我们去的 Cartman, our parents sent us over
好让肯尼把水痘传染给我们 there to catch chickenpox from Kenny.
就是 哥们 Yeah, dude. Your mom wanted
你老妈想害你脸上长疱疹 you to have herpes on your face.
-她什么 -肯定是某种家长的阴谋 -She what? -It's some kind of parental conspiracy.
爸妈想害死我们 Our parents are trying to kill us or something.
那个臭女人 That bitch!
看我下楼不把她的脑袋当球踢 I'm gonna go downstairs and kick her square in the nuts!
别这样 冷静点 胖子 No no no no. Come on fatass,
咱们要报复 we're gonna get em all back.
你肯定很快就能找到工作 Well I'm sure you'll find another job soon.
总会柳暗花明的的嘛 Something will come along.
说得容易 It's not that easy.
你命好 You were lucky.
不 不 我不是命好 No No, I wasn't lucky.
你是富二代 You had rich parents.
上得起昂贵的社区大学 You got to go to that expensive community college.
嘿 我可是拼命工作 才有的今天 Hey! I worked my ASS off to get to where I am today.
我有理想有抱负 I wanted to be somebody!
我也有理想有抱负 I wanted to be somebody too!
只不过出生时含的是不锈钢的钥匙 I just wasn't born with a silver enima up my ass!
你就是嫉妒 You're just jealous!
你个恶毒的老酒鬼 跟你爸一个德行 You're a bitter old drunk just like your father!
别逼我再出手 Now, don't make me do that again.
你个王八羔子 You son of a bitch!
-医生 -怎么了 -Doctor? -Yes.
-斯坦人呢 -斯坦 -Where's Stan? -Stan?
-斯坦 我们的儿子 -是的 斯坦呢 -Stan, our son. -Oh yes, where's Stan?
你是说斯坦失踪了 You mean Stanley's missing?
不 不 他没失踪 No no, he's not missing.
只是暂时找不到人 We just, can't seem to find him at this moment.
天啊 我们的儿子跑了 Oh my god, our son ran away!
他离开医院不会有事吗 Will he be ok out of the hospital?
不会有事 但是得尽快把他找回来 Oh sure sure. But we have to get him back soon,
要是今天不打抗生素 他就会死 if he doesn't get his antibiotic shot today, he could die.
-死 -没错 而且死得很难看 -Die!? -Yes die. It won't be an easy death either.
水痘会慢慢地顺着他的气管 The chickenpox will slowly
进入肺部 move down his trachea into his lungs...
咱们快去找吧 Ok, well let's go look.
他会呼吸不畅 ...as he chokes for breath,
水痘将沿着内耳 进入大脑 the pox will move through his inner ear
令他产生幻觉 认为自己是演员大卫杜考夫尼 into his brain making him think he's David Duchove...
天啊 不是吧 Ooh god no!
他应该走不远 I'm sure he couldn't have gone far.
现在只能四肢并用 呼吸吃力 ...now moving on all fours and wheezing
他的细胞结构 uncontrollably his cellular structure will
将不受控制地退化成凝胶状物质 regress in a deluctnous mass of...
怎么样 钓鱼还开心吗 So how was it? Did you boys have a good time fishing?
那个王八羔子把我的皮大衣撕烂了 That son of a bitch ripped my parka!
-钓到什么了吗 -我搞不懂 -Catch anything? -I just don't get it.
他明明邀请我钓鱼 Why would he invite me fishing
怎么又开始犯浑了 and turn into a complete bastard?
亲爱的 我得跟你说老实话 Well darling, I have to tell you something.
他没有邀请你 都是我安排的 He didn't invite you, I set the whole thing up.
什么 What? Now why the hell would you
你干嘛故意瞒着我 knowingly deceive me like that?
我都是为你好 I thought it would be good for you.
就像你骗儿子去肯尼家一样 Just like you deceived our son into going to Kenny's,
还不是竹篮打水一场空 and that didn't work either!
我可是尽了全力 I'm doing the best I can!
终极解决方案 作者凯尔·布鲁夫洛夫斯基 My final solution by Kyle Broslofski.
我老爸是全天下最聪明的人 My dad is the smartest guy in the whole wide world.
他教导我 He has taught me that
所有穷光蛋都是傻子 all poor people are actually things called clods.
我想活在只有天才的世界里 I wanna live in a world of only gods,
为了让美国变得更美好 我的点子是 so my idea to make America better,
把所有穷光蛋送进集中营 is to put all poor people into camps.
-什么 -只要摆脱了他们 -What?! -If we get rid of them,
世界上就只剩下有钱人 there will be nothing but rich people.
饥饿 贫穷和流浪汉统统不存在 And there won't be any hunger, poverty, or homeless people.
因为他们死光光了 完了 Cause they'll all be dead. The end.
天啊 我是造了什么孽 Oh god, what have I done?
这是干什么 特伦斯 What's happening here Terrance?
做肛门移植手术 这是我们唯一的希望 We're doing and anal transplant, it's our only hope.
-谁是捐献者 -是我 菲利普 就是本人 -Who's the doner? -I am Phillip. I am.
特伦斯 为了我 你连屁股都不要了吗 Terrance, you're giving up your ass for me?
半边而已 Just half my ass.
你相信吗 菲利普 Can you believe it Phillip?
咱们有福同享 有难同当 Here we are best friends,
现在有屁股同用 and now we're going to share the same ass.
该死 我看得正爽 Oh damn it! Not now!
见鬼 小毛头们 你们来干嘛 Damn it! Children, what are you doing here?
特伦斯和菲利普就要做手术了 Terrance and Phillip are about to go into surgery!
大厨 跟我们说说疱疹吧 Chef, we wanna know about herpes.
你怎么觉得 What makes you think I would
我对这个有了解呢 know anything about that?
不知道 I don’t know,
我们能相信的大人只剩下你了 you're just the only grownup we trust.
怎么才会长疱疹 How does someone get herpes?
和长疱疹的人共用物品 Well you get by sharing things
就会被传染 with someone who already has it.
要是身边有长疱疹的人 You have to be very careful around
可得十二万分小心 someone who has herpes.
你认识长疱疹的人吗 You know anybody with herpes?
大街那边有个老女人叫弗瑞塔 Well there's old Frita, down on main street.
满嘴的疱疹 She has a mouthful of herpes.
千万别靠近她 You need to stay away from her.
如果我们想让别人长疱疹呢 But what if we want to give somebody herpes?
那找弗瑞塔就对了 Oh well then Frita's the right person to go to.
-酷 -多谢 大厨 -Cool! -Thanks Chef!
不客气 OK!
慢着 我刚刚干了什么 Wait a minute. What the hell did I just do?
-斯坦利 -斯坦 -Stanley? -Stan?
斯坦 你在哪儿 Oh Stanley, where are you?
-斯坦利 -斯坦 -Stan? -Stanley!
-你是老女人弗瑞塔吗 -你是谁 -Are you old Frita? -Who wants to know?
想找你帮个忙 Someone who has a favor.
打炮十块 吹箫五块 Ten dollars a lay, 5 dollars a blow.
-怎么了 -我们想让你把疱疹传染给爸妈 -Huh? -We want you to give our parents herpes.
五块 Five dollars.
我老爸的矮柜上有五块 My dad has five dollars on top of his dresser.
斯坦 你病得很重 Stan you sound pretty sick, maybe
不如回医院吧 you should go back to the hospital.
好让谢莉骑在我头上吗 不了 多谢 And have Shelley kick my ass? No thanks.
再说了 我也要报复 Plus I want to get my parents
让爸妈尝尝长疱疹的滋味 back just as much as you do.
(爸爸 妈妈 谢莉 斯坦)
(化妆盒)
-多谢 弗瑞塔 -小意思 -Thanks a lot Frita! -Don't mention it.
哥们 这招绝对够猛 Dude this is gonna be so killer.
-他们都会长疱疹 -万岁 -They're all gonna get herpes. -Hooray!
斯坦利 你去哪儿了 Stanley, where the hell have you been?
该死 斯坦利 我们担心死了 Damn it Stanley, you had us worried sick!
马上回医院打针 You have to get back to the hospital for a shot!
我不想回去 I don't wanna go back there!
快点 我们带你回医院 Come on, we're taking you back to the hospital.
你们不想先刷刷牙吗 Don't you guys feel like brushing your teeth first?
-什么 -口气更清新 你我更亲近嘛 -What? -You know, freshen up your breath.
-天啊 我不太舒服 -太好了 -Oh man, I don't feel so good. -Oh good,
你总算长水痘了 maybe you finally caught the chicken...
凯尔 Kyle!
但愿你们吸取了教训 Well I hope you boys learned your lesson.
和长水痘的人一起玩 Going out and playing around with
差点要了你们的命 chickenpox almost killed you all.
对不起 We're sorry.
幸好及时就医 Well just be thankful we got you here in time.
父母来看你们了 我让他们进来 Your parents are here to see you, I'll send them in.
好痒 This itches, give me some of that
给我点止痛水 卡特曼 calamine lotion, Cartman.
不行 你自己没有吗 Hell no, you guys get your own!
斯坦利 今天感觉怎么样 儿子 Stanley, how are you feeling today, son?
很好 Pretty good.
医生说 或许你明天就能回家了 The doctor says that maybe you can go home tomorrow.
-没错 很棒吧 斯坦利 -酷 -Yeah, isn't that great Stanley? -Wow cool!
-你呢 凯尔 -你还好吗 -And how are you Kyle? -Are you doing ok?
现在好多了 I'm better now!
你们两个笑什么 What's so funny, you two?
我们让你们长了疱疹 We gave you guys herpes!
什么 什么 什么 是你们搞的鬼 What what what!? You did this?
你让我们生病 我们以牙还牙 We got you back for getting us sick!
我们让妓女用你们的牙刷和东西 We had a prostitute use her toothbrushes and stuff.
居然是你们这帮淘气鬼害我们长疱疹 I can't believe you gave us herpes. You little rascals!
其实我们也是活该 Well I guess it serves us right.
让你们长水痘的事 Kids, we should've been honest about
我们应该说实话 wanting you to get chickenpox.
是的 欺骗你们是我们的错 It's true, we were wrong for deceiving you about it.
嘿 你的嘴上怎么一个痘痘也没有 老妈 Hey how come you don't have sores on your lips mom?
长在了别的地方 小宝贝 Oh, I have them somewhere else poopykins.
万岁 Hooray!
斯图尔特 我该 向你道歉 And uh Stewart, I think I owe you an appology.
我不该对运气不如我的人 I realized I shouldn't be so cold towards
那么冷酷无情 people that are less fortunate than me.
-我也很抱歉 -菲利普 -Oh hell I'm sorry too. -Oh Phillip,
一切都在恢复 真是太好了 I'm glad everything turned out for the better.
-有一点我很肯定 -是什么 艾瑞克 -Well I know one thing for sure. -What's that Eric?
这点止痛水肯定不够 We're all gonna need more calamine lotion.
-我的天啊 他们杀了肯尼 -你个混蛋 -Oh my god! They killed Kenny! -You bastards!