l'Il get you. l'II get you!
You're playing with your ball, is that what you're doing?
How's my little baby doing? You good?
-Hey! -Look, Da, it's Uncle Marcus.
Yeah, l see that.
You guys. you guys are coddled ever since high school
-ls that live? -Yeah,
And if he doesn't get out ofthere soon, he's gonna miss our flight.
Which may not be a bad idea, honey.
Angela and him, all that drama all the way on the plane,
-l'm not for that today, -Stop.
,,,before he got hurt. Marcus WilIiams was doing his thing.
l'm so proud of him, Look how good he is!
l'm talking ahout cheerleaders! l mean. you got to love them!
-Same old Marcus, -Yeah. Yeah.
Come on, baby, we got to hury up, get out of here.
We don't need the food, Mom, There's food on the plane.
This is not for you, It's for the kids.
-We gotta go, -Where are you going?
They're going on their annual vacation, called the marriage retreat.
-l wanna go! -lt's for grown-ups only.
That's right, Rememberwe went to Disney World and l told you,
''Not this time, It's gonna be me and your mom.'' Remember?
-Okay. -And what do you know about it, Kenya?
lt's you, Aunt Pat and Uncle Gavin,
Aunt Angela and Uncle Marcus
and Aunt Sheila and Uncle Mike.
Yeah, butthis time, it's Aunt Sheila and Uncle Troy.
What happened to Uncle Mike?
-They got divorced, -What's a divorce?
-Who's taking that one? -No.
Mom, Mom?
That's something you don't have to wory about, baby,
because your mother and father are never gonna get one,
Okay?
-Okay, -You are so good.
lt's when mo married people break up because they hate each other.
They split up their children, house, and their money.
They fight over eveything, and whoever has the best lawyer wins.
Kenya!
You wanted her in the private school,
That's exactly like you at that age, Exactly, honey.
See, l got mo of them, Come on, baby. We gotta go.
You guys behave while we're gone, okay?
-We will, -Be good. Be good, Have a good time.
l love you, too, Kiss Mama,
-You guys be good, -We will,
l'Il see you later, okay? Take care of yourself.
-See you later, -Bye!
Okay, here's your decaf.
-Thanks, baby, -The flight's a little delayed.
l know, l saw that.
Babe, what is it?
-What? -Come on, tell me.
-What? -l have watched you bounce up and down
this hall to go get the coffee and come back.
You're just so happy.
-What's going on, What am l missing? -No. l'm just so happy to see eveybody.
lt's gonna be so nice.
And without Mike, l'm sure it's gonna be drama-free. It's gonna be great,
Yeah. Yeah, hopefully.
Why couldn't you just get my luggage?
l mean, what are you working out for?
-ls that them? -That's not them.
That is them.
-Oh, my,,, -Oh, please!
You better shut up, okay?
-lt's always the same damn thing with you, -You shut up.
No, you know what? You really getting on my nerves.
Some rope and some ducttape and three bags of concrete don't cost all that much,
l will bust a cap in that ass!
$49,95.
-Hi, Di! -Hi!
Hi, how you doing?
-l'm good, -What's up, T?
He gets on my nerves.
-Hey! -Hey!
Hey, Tery! Excuse me,
That hat, man!
This is my vacation hat!
Either that or it'll cut you!
Okay, y'all keep it down,
We're not tying to get kicked out of the airport, okay?
Tell that to the pirate,
You know what, Marcus? Say one more thing and we ain't boarding.
The flight's a little delayed, so,,,
Yes, it's delayed,
Come on, man, Let's go see what's going on with the flight.
Good to see you, Angela,
Make me sick! l'm telling you, l could kill him sometimes!
What is going on now?
Girl, ever since he got the little hosting job, he thinks he's Mr. Big Shot.
Listen, We're gonna have a nice, relaxing week, all right?
-Yes, -No fighting, just peace.
-Yes, just peace, -Okay.
l need some peace!
Wait a second, l thought you stopped drinking.
Girl, please. With that Negro?
You better be glad l ain't on crack, okay? Let me have this drink.
We have a flightto the Bahamas.
-and we're gonna connect to Nassau, -All the flights are delayed.
Ma'am, l understand that, l'm tying to get the information on...
Hi
l'm Kelly, l love you on Sports Shuffle.
That's Kelly, She loves you,
Ma'am, we're both married.
ls this your bodyguard or something?
Yes, it is, This is my bodyguard, Rufus,
You watch my show, huh?
-All the time, -Oh, my God.
-Me and my dad, we watch it together, -Kelly...
You two are actually the same age,
You look good, girl!
l feel good!
Terry must be knocking it out the box
-for you to be smiling like that! -Will you stop that?
You glowing, girl!
What, you pregnant again? He knocked that up again?
No, no, After the surgey and untying my tubes,
l'm just happy he has his son,
He's happy, l'm happy, It's good,
He's so good with the kids, He's the best father,
Hey, hey, sister,
When things fall into place, you just gotto be grateful to God.
That is too bad.
Are you even listening to me?
Give me a minute.
Can I just get an autograph?
This is like a movie, Are you serious?
Marcus, you don't have time for this, it's 10 o'clock.
lt's 9:00.
Twelve, 11, 10 o'clock.
What's wrong with you, Ruf?
What's wrong with your neck, man? It's 9:00.
No, no, y'all got time, y'all got time. Yeah, go ahead, get her number, Marcus.
You wanna write her number down? Go ahead, write her number down.
Tery, Marcus wants to get the ho's number,
No, no, no, Marcus! Marcus, come back here!
Eveybody, my husband, Marcus, wanna get a ho's number!
Calling all hos!
lt's a brother over there, named Marcus, that wants her number,
Come get the ho's number, Marcus!
Boy, this is beautiful,
l love it. l love it.
-Hi! -How y'all doing?
-Welcome to the Bahamas! -Welcome to the Bahamas!
Thank you! Oh, this is great,
Oh, word, Thank you,
Baby, look,
-Wow, -l love it.
Oh, l love it!
This is better than the brochure!
Check it out.
Stunning. l love it! l love it,
Come on, let's go outside,
This is paradise!
-Yo, Jet Skis! What? What? -Oh, this is paradise. Paradise!
l love it. How beautiful.
Honey, if you ever had a question..
Watch your step,
lfyou ever had a question about if there is a God, l mean,
you can't deny this!
Stunning!
So this is where all our money went, huh?
Don't look at it that way, please,
This is what we need.
l need a job,
Okay, l don'twant you all worked up this week.
Just relax.
But, babe, l mean, the move to Atlanta,
the new baby, and me still not having work, l mean,
maybe we should have waited a couple years to do this.
Stop stressing, please,
l don't wanna waste this week.
Look around you, Come on!
Yeah, you're right, You're right, You're right, you're right, you're right.
-Welcome to Bahamas! -Welcome to Bahamas!
This is amazing!
-lt looks better than it did online, -Look at this! This is fabulous!
This is beautiful! This is gorgeous!
-Hey! -Beautiful.
-Hi! -How are you?
Good to see you!
You don't even look like you had a kid, baby.
-Shut up! -You look amazing!
-Where's Troy? -He's out there on the Jet Ski.
That sounds like a lot offun.
Go on and go, You know you want to,
-l can go? Thank you. -Just be careful, okay?
This is gonna be amazing for us,
-See you. -So, how are you?
-l'm good! l'm so glad to see you! -Good. You, too. How's the baby?
He's wonderFul, He's wonderful.
l got some pictures, You know l'm gonna show you.
When you gonna have another baby, Pat?
That's not gonna happen,
-No, -Come on, you should!
How's the house?
lt's good. It's good,
And how is Troy adjusting to the South?
He's having trouble finding a job,
Girl, l feel terrible. l wanted us to leave Colorado,
you know, just to be closerto my mom
-and you guys, -Yes.
l don't know.
It'II work itself out, It's just gonna take some time, that's all..
l know. l know.
you hear that?
-Hey! -Hey!
-Hi! -How are you?
Come on in!
-Nice to see you! -Hey, guys!
Hey, baby. How are you?
-lt's good to see you, -Good to see you. How are you?
-Hi, sweetheart! -Hi, Tery.
-You look beautiful! -Thank you.
-What's up? -How was your flight?
What?
We flew over here with Angela and Marcus.
Yes, we flew over the cuckoo's nest.
See, this is whywe came early, Just for that.
l told Dianne, l said, ''Let's get up and go with Pat and Gav.''
She said, ''No, l wanna make sure the kids are okay,''
-l should have listened, -You should have listened.
-Now l've got a headache, man, -So, where are they?
They're in the car, still arguing!
-You don't hearthem? -l need a glass ofwine!
Yeah, l need some crack.
Oh, man, is that Troy out there?
-You know it is, -And Gavin's upstairs changing.
-Can l go? -Yes, you can go!
Okay, l'm gonna go, l'm gonna go. Good to see you!
l'Il send Marcus outthere when he comes in.
Hell no! Don't do us any favors, we're all right!
-Excuse us! -What?
What's up, Ms, Thing!
You look gorgeous, you are glowing!
Why is eveybody saying that?
You are, that's why!
l haven't seen you look like this since you and Teryfirst started dating.
l don't know...
-See? AIways! Always! -Just Qet ready. Get ready.
-What about the money thing? -l tipped the man!
Why'd you have to give him so much?
l didn't give him that,,, What are you talking about?
lt's my money, anyway,
You know you act like you're rich because you're on N, you know that, right?
And did you really have to talk football the whole waywith that guy?
This is the Bahamas! They don't have football here.
That man don't knowyou! l mean, really, don't nobody know you.
As a matter of fact, do y'all know this guy? Do you know him?
l'Il give you $20 if you know him,
l'Il give you $100 if you know him,
Just because one ho at the airport recognized you, you think you're famous.
You ain't famous.
What the hell are y'all standing here for? Go put the bags up.
Y'all didn't know him, l ain't giving you no money.
You ain't getting a tip, either,
Ask herwhy eveybody at the airport know who she is.
-You know what? Why don't you just,,, -Hello, people?
-Say hi. -You get on my...
Hi, guys!
-Hi! Finally! -Come here, baby_
How you doing?
Hi! Hi, Shi-Shi!
-Hi, Marcus, -Hi, baby.
How you doing, Pat?
Oh, man!
Look at this! This cabana is hot! Now we're talking!
lt's not a cabana, baby, It's a beach house,
Beach houses are bigger than a cabana,
Oh, really? Okay. How would you know what's bigger?
What's that supposed to mean?
Some times l wonder, why did l get married?
Why did l get married, too?
Marcus, the guys are getting changed, and Troy's out on the Jet Ski.
Oh, yeah?
Bye!
But l got to tell you, this is paradise,
Come on, let's go outto the beach, it's incredible!
Oh, no, Pattie! No, honey! We about to check out a margarita, okay?
Come on, Pat! l came here to drink, okay?
Can you make some ofthose famous margaritas, Pat?
Margaritas. Margaritas,
Margarita! Yes!
Okey-dokey,
Oh, man! You dudes are crazy, man, crazy!
l ain't never seen water that clear!
What are you talking about?
-This your first time here? -Yeah.
Man, l needed this break.
-Beer? -Thanks.
You know, l've been watching your show, Sure looking good, baby!
Thanks, brother. Yeah, You know...
Butfor evey good day l have atwork, l've got to go home and go through hell.
-That's Angela, -See, why?
She hates the fact that l'm working,
which is crazy, because she was the one that was always on me
about working and making money,
And now that l am, now she got a problem with what l'm doing,
No, sir, l do not believe that.
There ain't no black woman complaining about her man having a job.
l don't care what you say!
-Are you kidding me, man? -You met Angela,
Well, there's women, and then there's Angela.
You know some thing? l think Angela's got a problem.
-You think? -You just figuring that out?
Y'all should have seen her in the airport, man,
l'm telling you, Troy, it was the most insane thing.
lt took us 45 minutes...
Oh, no, mo-and-a-half hours to let them know that she wasn't a terrorist.
Well, the fact is, she was a terrorist, But the point...
She terrorizes your black ass, that's what she does!
No, no, l mean,,, Seriously,
l thin. Angela argues with me on purpose
just so we can have make-up sex later,
-What's wrong with that? -Get out of here with that bull!
-On purpose. -Get out of here with that bull.
No, l'm dead serious, l'm dead serious.
She enjoys being mad at me,
because later the sex isjust kind of crazy, rough, but better.
l bet your ghetto ass be like, ''Beat me, daddy, punch this nipple, punch it!''
And?
He says, ''And''!
Let me tell you, l might be able to help you with that, man,
You let me slap Dianne, Dianne would knock the hell out of me, man!
She'd call the cops, ''What the hell wrong with you?''
You got to work her into that,
-No, man! No, no, l'm telling you, -You got to start out with this.
-No, no, -Just a little bit...
Mywife is half-Asian, she ain't having that, sory.
The black half might have it, but the Asian half would lock my ass up.
You know what l've figured out, Afterall these years of being married,
l've searched and searched for reasons and understanding of these women,
l got nothing. Nothing!
You don't even have to look forthe answers some times, and you'll find them.
So I don't necessarily agree with Mr, Man over here.
So, how's it been with you, T?
You been crossing the goal line lately?
What are you talking about?
End zone?
What the hell are you talking about, man?
Yes, man! Will you cut it out with all the football talk, please?
l don't know what the hell you're saying most ofthe time!
l'm still doing it?
Yes!
Y'all fellas are crazy, man,
Yeah, we all nuts, man, we all nuts, Nuts to be married.
Like you and Sheila, how's it going with you mo?
Good, And the baby's good,
Yeah, man, And itwas Mike that led us to believe that Sheila couldn't conceive.
That she couldn't have the baby,
And when all the while,
it was his players on the sideline, not being able to make the draft.
There you go again!
Marcus, are we gonna need an NFL dictionay to hang with you this weekend?
Dude, will you cut it out? You got to stop, man. You got to stop!
Look, l told Dianne, l said, ''Listen, call Sheila, make sure she's straight.''
When 0ianne was pregnant with our last baby, man,
l was scared to come home!
l had this time when Patricia was pregnant,
I'd come home, she's watching a dog food commercial
and starts cying,
and then curses me out!
What's wrong with that? It's your fault,
You don't get it?
Don'tyou know all women are crazy?
They ''mazy''!
Patricia doesn't even cuss!
-Yeah, Well, you know what? -Please.
There's sides of that woman you've never seen, trust me,
l saw it.
-When? -College.
Martina Jimenez, you and her in the back seat.
-You told Patricia you was atwork, -Oh, right.
l remember that!
Yeah, l remember that.
l mean, she was worse than Angela,
No.
Ain't nobody worse than Angela,
Wait a minute, young man, Whatyou tying to say?
Hey, you're going to fit in right around here! l'm telling you now!
l mean, no disrespect,
She's out there, man, She's some where else.
My little mumin?
-Here you go, Pat, -Thank you_
Okay. You know you start all of my arguments,
-Me? -Yes!
Why?
-_our booh? He Cheated. So Now What? -Okay.
-Can l quote you? -Please!
Y'all ready for this? Here we go,
_'ln relationships, you must,,, -Wait a minute!
_',,,respect each other's privacy,,,'' -l do not talk like that!
l don't sound like that, do l?
-Yes, you do! Yes, you do! -No, l don't!
Let me tell you a little _ecret,
Okay, never mind!
AII right, ''ln relationships, you should trust each other's privacy.
''Case in point, l don't have the password to my husband's cell phone.
''l trust him.''
So, when l read that, l asked Marcus forthe password to his cell phone!
Angela, why would you do that?
Because you told me to!
How did l tell you to?
Because you said that you don't have the password
to his cell phone because you trust him,
So, l took thatto mean that if l don't trust him, then l should have it!
-What? -Angela!
-What did he say? -Girl, please, you know Marcus.
Evey time he lies, he says, ''Know what l'm saying?
''l lost it, you know what l'm saying? l forgot it, you know what l'm saying?''
l don't have Troy's, l trust that man,
l trust Tery, but l do have his,
You have it? How?
He gave it to me,
What, you didn't have to do no tricks?
What's going on in here?
Oh, hell, no! Oh, hell, no, Mike! What are you doing here?
l was hoping Marcus divorced your ass
and married a nicer, kinder, sexier woman.
Mike, don't playwith me, What are you doing here?
Look, l own part of a timeshare, l'm here to have a good time, have a great vacation.
This Negro got some neye!
And you're getting on the last one,
Now where are the fellas at?
Down on the Jet Skis.
Jet Skis, now that's a plan,
Hello, Sheila.
l hear you had a baby, Congratulations,
And what are these bags?
lt's called luggage. As in baggage,
As in when you look in the mirror, you see an old bag,
You are such a queen,
You know some thing? l'm not gonna Iet your insults hurt me, Cruella.
l'm gonna see the fellas,
l don't believe this.
l told you, man, Why are you tying to get something?
Ain't nothing there, She's happier than she's ever been.
For the last three months, l've been real happy,
-A happy woman,,, -Makes a happy home.
Happy home, that's right,
l wouldn't know anything about that,
What the hell is he doing here?
-Who? -Hey, fellas!
Are you serious?
What's up, fellas?
What are you doing here, Mike?
My part ofthe timeshare. So, l'm here, sharing my time.
Okay, did you come through the house?
-Yeah, -Did the women see you?
-Yeah, they saw me, -What did they say?
Angela said, ''Oh, hell, no, no! Hell, no! What you gonna be...''
She was patting her weave?
Your wife, man,..
Man, l feel so sory for you. l don't know how you do its l just don't..
Hello, Sherim.
What's up?
Congratulations on the baby,
So, you name him Mike Junior?
What? It's ajoke! Man, come on, y'all!
No, man, But you might have been able to do that
had you taken care ofyour business the first time.
All right! So, Sherim, it's like that now?
-Cut it out, man. Cut it out, -What?
Please tell me, numberone, you're not staying here,
and numbermo, you didn't bring,,, What was that girl's name?
-Tricka? -Holetta.
-Trina, Trina, -So, you're staying here?
Yeah, as long as you put a muzzle on Angela,
-Come on, now, That's mywife. -l know. l'm so sory.
But, Sherim, don't you wory, man,
-lt's all good, -l ain'tworried.
Okay,
Where are you going?
Gonna check on mywife,
He's gonna chec_ on his wife!
-This is gonna be fun! -We're going in the house, man_
All right, come on, Marcu_,
No, man, the wake emect has got me sitting on the sidelines, brother.
-What? -Don't even ask!
All right, l'm out,
-Enjoy yourself, -AIl right.
We know, we know.
He's not staying,
He can't stay, he can't,
Tery, there is no way,
Hey, you're a lamer, He paid his money, we can't tell him that he can't be here,
-Maybe we should leave then, -l'm with you.
No, guys, We spent our last to be here, We're not leaving,
Guys, guys, come on. Let's eveybody calm down.
We're all adults here, right?
Sheila, we can ty to control him,
Yeah... No. We all remember Colorado and the dinnertable, okay?
So, l don't know about controlling him, but he's right,
We are adults, we can handle this, Come on,
We can run inter Ference to keep Mike from scoring any points
against the opposing team,
Marcus, whatthe hell are you talking about, man?
Sory, l've been hosting too long,
Negro, you onlywork on the weekend.,
You can't get nobody omthe 50-yard line
'cause you can't get your little sliders out ofthe dugout_
That doesn't make any sense at all! What are you talking,,,
-Why you always gotta start? -Hold on, you guys, Hold on!
Gavin's got a point. We really need to be rational aboutthis.
Rational?
Oh, no, No, no, no, no, Don't,..
My wife agrees with me,
Rational.
Y'all be rational, okay?
But ifthis fool gets out of line, l'm taking this straight to the streets_
Y'all know l'm from Camden, Got no time for ''rationaI_''
You all be rational, she's gonna be ghetto,
All right, come on, let's go and unpack, so we can finish having our discussion.
Come on, Marcus.
0id shejust grab his nipple?
Probably,
See what l mean? Make-up sex,
-What'd he say? -Don'twory about it, honey.
So, l guess he's staying,
Okay, look, we're not gonna give him any power.
We are gonna enjoy ourselves,
and we're not gonna waste ourtime even thinking about him,
-That's right, That's right, -Okay_
A deal's a deal.
Sheila,
can l tal to you for a minute?
See? It's crazy that he's even here,
l cannot believe that Mike is...
lt's so like him!
l don't care nothing about that,
Why'd you have to tell them that?
-Say what? -That we spent our last.
l didn't think about it.
Baby, l don't want them to know that,
Have you told them how hard it is for us right now?
They're our friend_,
They're your friends, all right?
l barely know them,
And l don't want them all in our business.
l definitely don't want that damn fool to know!
l know you don't knowthem like l do, babe,
But trust me, they're really good people,,,
l don'twant them in our business.
Okay, It won't happen again,
l'm serious.
We are on vacation.
Shoot, last time l was here,
l caught a fish thatwas 13-feet long, know what l'm saying?
-Yeah, we hearyou! -We know whatyou're saying!
l even had to have help bringing that boy in, you know what l'm saying?
l helped you, know what I'm saying?
What?
Nothing, Marcus, Nothing,
Why didn't Troy come?
What, you got to ask?
You're sitting next to our house guest over there,
so that's why the hell he didn't come!
So, Mike, how'd you guys make out in the market?
My firm held, man, But it was crazy seeing otherguys.
ln fact, one guy committed suicide,
He was a trust fund baby,
ln fact, l got to tell Sheila about that
'cause we had dinner with him a couple times,
and she always said he was unstable,
That girl, l tell you, she could always read people.
Almost.
Watch it.
-We'rejust kidding around, baby, -Watch it!
l ain'tthat bad, so you need to stop,
Okay, No, you ain't that bad!
You're right, you're worse!
Mike, why are you so sensitive?
Sensitive.
What ever! What ever! l don't care what y'all say, Sheila miss me.
Look, we had some good times, What, you don't think Sheila misses me?
-No! -Not at all?
-Like, no, not at all. -Why are you asking?
-Exactly, man, what does it matter? -You know, l miss her,
Say what?
Look, l miss her, o_ay? l miss her,
Hold up a second, Mike, who are you?
l iust don't know what the hell l was thinking letting her go.
We came on vacation, we came to have a good time. Don't start nothing, man,
All right, l'm just looking back at my life,
When you look back at your life,
you find that old girl that you dogged out
and you wish you knew then what you know now,
That's all, all right? Sheila's a good woman,
You know _he'_ happily married,
Exactly, happily married,
Does she talk to Dianne or to Pat about me?
She never talks about you, man, honestly,
Sheila told Pat that she's happily married,
Please fast fonNard that.
Happily married, in spite ofthe fact that he hasn't found a job yet.
-Troy's jobless? -Why, why?
-He got nojob? -That's important!
-Don't tell him that! -He don't got nojob?
What, he laying on the couch? He's jobless?
No, he's notjobless, they just moved from Colorado to Atlanta, right?
So he's tying to find a job,
-There's a dimerence_ -Fine, fine.
Yo, we're about to kill all this.
Marcus, does Sheila talk to Angela about me?
No, like, never.
l know you're lying,
l'm not lying, l'm telling you the truth! What you talking about lying?
lf he was lying, you would know he's lying,
Hold on, hold on.
Wait, wait, This how you find out if he's lying.
-How big was that fish, again? -What? Why?
How big was the fish?
-Thirteen feet, know what I'm saying? -There you have it.
Oh, wait, wait, wait!
And Sheila nevertalks to Angela about me?
No.
Know what l'm saying! It isn't happening,
Why would Mikejust show up like that?
'Cause he's a damn fool.
Sometimes, when we haven't dealt with things in our lives, they tend to show up.
Yeah, but l dealt with that.
How's Troy dealing with it?
He's okay with Mike being here,
but he got mad because l said we spent our last.
-Yeah, l felt that, -Was l wrong?
-0id you spend your last? -Yeah.
Well, then you weren't wrong,
No, she wasn't wrong, but it is dimerent than when you were married to Mike.
Oh, l know that.
This man has so much on his mind, and he probably feels
really bad that he can't give you what you're used to,
But l never made him feel bad about that.
l don't care about that stum, anyway,
Yeah, but see, that doesn't matter.
This is what he thinks and the best thing foryou to do
is really tojustty to make him feel at ease with the situation,
l thought l was doing that,
Child, please, all that man needs is a job,
And then when he gets a job, he's gonna start talking back to you
and staying out late all the time,
and telling you how much money he's making
and how much he's making more than you,
and how he could be doing betterthan you and how he's tired ofall your bull crap.
-What? -You sound so jealous!
l'm notjealous! l just don't like hisjob!
You dogged that man out for not having ajob,
then he got one and now you're unhappy, What?
Youjustwanna be in control ofthe relationship_
And now that you feel that you don't have so much control,
you'rejust taking all your frustrations out on the man, Angie.
Pat, l am not tying to control this man,
l don'twanna control him, l just want him to do what l say_
You see? There it is, right there!
Listen, when people tend to change in relationships, it causes us to be afraid.
And then we panic, and that panic makes itworsen ourfears.
So you have all the answers, don't you?
No, l don't have all the answers,
but l do suggest that you loosen up yourgrip a little bit on the man,
You might see a dimerence,
This is Marcus we are talking about,
I loosen up my grip, he's gonna run like a wild dog.
She might be right about that,
But it is absolutely amazing to me
how you can look at eveybody else and see their problems,
Angela, l'm a doctor, This is what l do,
Yeah, Well, you know what? l don't wanna talk about me anymore.
Let me get a few drinks up in y'all and then we'll see what's really going on.
You know, you all act like l'm the problem child.
Matter of fact, bartender can l get a few shots over here?
-Yes, ma'am, -We'II see!
-,,,nice looking, -l hope you look good over there, baby.
Baby, l hope you look good over there,
-We got next, Careful. -Y'all need to stop talking across the board.
-They gonna lose, -Who's winning?
We are. We're about to win.
Okay, Marcus, what've you got?
-l gotfive and a possible. -Give us board, man.
Come on, baby, you got to have more than that.
No, l don't.
l'm looking at at least three books in your hand, right there, Sherim,
Mike!
What? The man ain't playing his hand, that's all l'm saying,
l guess ifanybody knows what to do with a good hand, itwould be you.
What? l like this guy, Sheila,
Hey, you're quick on yourfeet, buddy! That's right,
Play your card, baby,
Don't rush me.
Mike, why don'twe go take a walk?
Why would we do that?
Because you're a third wheel,
Right,
l'm enjoying myself, thank you,
So, Troy, how's life in Atlanta?
-Life is good, thank you, -l was talking to him,
-And she was talking to you,,, -You know what? Angela, l got it.
Life is good there, okay?
Please, let's play cards, Come on,
He can't speak for himself?
When Sheila and l first moved there, she was still in schooI
and l was looking for a job, couldn't find one,
ltwas rough, How's theiob search?
What?
Wow.
Let me tell you something, my man,
l'm not the kind ofcat that's gonna sit here and act like l like you, 'cause l don't,
Matter offact, l don't even like the fact that you're here,
But since you are here, do yourselfa favor,
sit there, nurse your little fruitjuice
and leave me and mine the hell alone.
Cool?
All right, got that? Appreciate it,
-Yeah, -Yeah, l had enough. All right? l'm out.
-Whose phone is that? -Goodness gracious.
lsn't that your ring?
Yeah, it's a voicemail, It's probably the kids.
-Okay. l'll check it. Yeah. Be right back. -lt's video or something, Can you check it?
Dianne can check the messages of Tery's cell phone?
Wow, So she has his password, too,
-Hey, you reneged. -No, he didn't.
Yes, he did, That's four books for us, thank you vey much.
So we won!
l'm just tired, know what l'm saying? l got to get some sleep,
Wait a minute, Marcus, no! That is not right,
How you gonna just renege like that and get all tired when we mention the..
Tery, that's not right, Marcus, how you gonna do that..
Baby, you know l didn't say anything to him, right?
Think that make. me feel good?
l'm sory, babe,
Look, l know you've been tying, l do,
And we're gonna be all right, okay?
Just don't be mad, okay? Come on, babe, don't be mad.
l'm not. l iust wanna go to sleep,
Yep, l agree, l agree with that, Pat,
Marcus, what you got to hide?
l don't know how manytimes l got to tell you, nothing.
Why don't you just drop it?
Because your name is spelled S-N-E-A-K-Y, Sneaky.
Look, l'm not giving you my password,
-Why? -Because you ought to trust me.
Marcus, you remember Keisha? And the penicillin shot?
Why the hell should l trust you?
Baby, that's been over three years,
Have l given you any reason to doubt me since?
Yes, since you won't give me the password to your cell phone!
Okay. The password to my cell phone
is G-O, the numbermo, H-E-L-L.
Babe.
Did you notice that Pat and Gavin were a little distant tonight?
l really didn't notice that, no,
l don't think you were paying attention,
l noticed it.
l spoke to her, she said they're doing great,
That's Pat, honey, She's always... They're always great, ''We're great!''
You're right, She does say that a lot,
Well, l'll talk to her.
Yeah, talk to her after you talk to me,
You wanna talk to me? You wanna talk to me. Will you do that?
Phil.
Who's Phil?
You're funny, ''Who's Phil?'' No, l meant to say.
What l was about to saywas, l'm gonna go fill the tub
so we can take a bath.
0o you wanna take a bath together?
Yeah. Yeah, let's do that.
Okay,
l am not
going through what l went through with Mike.
l'm not gonna do thatwith you, all right?
l ain't Mike.
Well, you know what? You're sure acting like him.
Not talking to me, not touching me, not looking at me?
You are putting me in a bad head space, baby,
and it is not good, Trust me,
-Can you please let this go? -No.
Now, l know l wanted us to move.
But you agreed,
And l know you haven't found a job, butwe are in this together.
So we're gonna make it together, okay?
l don't wanna talk about this right now,
You know what? Ifthis is too much foryou to deal with, go, Troy. Go!
Because l'm not gonna do this with you,
l'm not gonna do this with you or anybody else, you got me?
What are you saying? What the hell are you talking about?
l'm not going anmhere, Sheila,
Then why aren't you looking at me? Why aren't you touching me?
Why aren't you acting like my husband?
Goodness! l'm just tying,,,
You know what? Let me find out you're messing with some chick!
Look, l'm not talking to you about this anymore
because you're crazy,
-l'm crazy? -Yes.
But eveytime we go to dinner,
you lay your cell phone face-down on the table.
And then when you get text messages,
you read them away from me like you just did.
And you come home late from work all the time.
l have late games, l'm in locker rooms late,
You know what? Then them must be some real feminine football players,
'cause you come home smelling like cheap pe_ume
with lipstic. on your collar,
You know what? l'm going to sleep, Forget this.
Marcus. No, you're not going to sleep,
l want the password to your cell phone,
Marcus, l want that password,
Do you know that Dianne has the password to Tery's cell phone?
And Patricia, she even gives an acronym in her book for trust,
which is what evey relationship needs in order to mahe it,
and l'm tying to wor_ that tru_t,
T, talk,
communicate, which is what l'm tying to do with you right now.
R, release,
which means l should be cussing your ass out about this cell phone.
U is for understanding, which means you should be understanding
why l want the password to your cell phone.
S is for submit, l ain't doing that,
T stands fortalk to that bastard
till he gives you the damn cell phone number.
Give me the password number to yourcell phone, Marcus!
-You want it? -Yes, give itto me, Marcus.
-l know what you want, -Give it to me,
-You want it? -Give it to me!
-Yeah, l know what you want. -Come on, Marcus!
l want that password to that cell phone,
Marcus, stop it! l want that password,
l said l want the password,
No, l want the password to the cell phone,
l want the password! Give me the password,
Give me the...
Marcus, l want the password,
Come here.
Stop fighting me, Come here, Come here,
l don't think you understand what this is like for a man like me.
l've always been able to provide,
lt's been months.
And the money from the sale ofthe store, it just ain't cutting it,
l'm just stressed, man,
lt doesn't have anything to do with you, okay?
l iust need some time, It's just,,,
You have to communicate thatwith me.
l am not the same woman l used to be.
l am not the kind of woman that can deal with that disconnect.
Baby, the hardest thing in the world
is to have a good man when you've had a bad one.
l thin. it's harderto have a good woman
after she's had a bad man.
Then when you punish me
for loving you or wanting to talk to you,
you make me wanna do something worth the punishment.
Can you feel me on that?
l've been a bad boy,
l thin. l need to be punished,
-What is the problem? -l know people have problems.
You can't understand me.
l'm not gonna do this with you right now,
No, listen to me, You tell me what's the problem.
Marcus and Angela,
l'm not gonna go through this,
Sounds like Patricia.
-l'Il go, babe, -No, no, no. l'll go.
Keep your voice down,
Hey, Pat, Are you okay?
l'm rine.
0id l just hear you guys arguing in there?
No, we're fine.
Pat,
you can't spend your entire life just holding eveything inside,
Dianne, l know that.
lf you know that, okay, well, then tell me,
'Cause you never tell anybody your problems.
l'm fine, really,
You wanna go get some warm milk or something?
No, but l was gonna go get some water,
-l'II go with you, -No!
Honey, you're gonna lose your mind keeping all that stuff in,
Please go back to bed, okay?
We're fine.
Good morning, Sheila,
You know, there's staff that does that.
lt's part of the package,
Troy likes my cooking,
Troy, l used to love your cooking,
Yeah. That's why l ate so much of it alone,
How are you?
Okay, Mike,
What the hell are you doing here?
Are you here tying to start some mess?
lfyou're tying to start some mess, it's not gonna work, okay?
l'm over it, and l am overyou,
ls it really that easy to get over someone?
Especially after all the time we shared?
Look, do you remember the night we broke into the clothing store?
ltwas storming out. What were we, what, 18?
l remember you were scared to death,
lt was fun.
But l remember you cried all the way home,
'cause you thought we were gonna get caught.
ltwas the rirsttime we made love.
lt was the best.
l've been sitting at home,
thin_ing about all the good times we had,
0o you remember the first apartment we rented off of Auburn?
The green carpet in the bedroom?
The out-of-date, pink tile in the bathroom? Come on.
And the kitchen, you loved the _itchen,
You painted the kitchen orange, remember that?
-lt was yellow, -No, it was orange. It was orange.
lt was yellow,
l remember it because
of that hole in the wall,
the one when you pushed me into it,
And l remember the pink tile, My nose bled on it.
And forthe life of me, l couldn't...
l couldn't get that blood up,
And l remember the bedroom.
ltwas cold,
vey cold,
And there was no light,
None.
And l was so depressed,
That's what l remember about that apartment.
-Look, Sheila,,, -Hey!
l don't know what came over me, okay? Just,,, l was a fool.
l am so sory. And, look, l miss you,,,
Please, stop!
You are my past,
and there ain't no future in it, okay?
l know.
Get your ass out ofthis kitchen, Go!
Hi, you guys! Oh, God, The water is so warm out there.
l feel so relaxed.
-Could you stay that way? -l'll try
Come in, it's so warm out there.
Nope, l've already been in, l'm not getting wet again,
-Come on, Dianne! -A little later.
What is this?
l'm so sory, it's the wind, The wind just took it away.
0id the voodoo king and queen drop chicken dust in my hair?
-Angela! -No, what is this?
What did y'all just do? Did you just put a spell on me?
No, we had a friend who just recently passed.
-What -This wind,
it's a little unpredictable here, l'm so sory,
Please forgive us, butthese are her ashes,
-Calm down, Angela, -Angela, relax!
Just relax!
Calm down, Angela!
ls there anything we can do?
Just ignore her, She'll be totallyfine!
That's befitting, 'cause our friend was equally as dramatic!
Her name was Bertha Monroe, ifthat gives you any clue_
And she was a character just as animated as your friend.
-How long ago did she pass? -A week.
l'm sory to hearthat,
How old was she?
l don't know, she'd nevertell us.
Well, she nevertold us the truth, Some where bemeen 28 and 80.
l'm so sory, l'm Patricia Agnew,
-Hello -Hi, Dianne Bob.
Hi, Sheila.
All right, my name is Porter Jones, and this is mywife, Ola.
-Nice to meet you. -Hi.
And once again, forgive us, we're sory,
We're just going down the beach to get a seat for the fireworks tonight.
Fireworks!
lt's the annual carnival, You got a great view here.
Wait,,.
-We should invite them to dinner, -Yes.
Mr, and Mrs, Jones would you join us for dinner?
Yeah, it's our last night here,
lt's when we share our ''Why did l get married'' stories.
lt would only be befitting if you would join us.
We would absolutely love it,
l don't thin. eveybody would love it,
Fourteen years, we're still in love, Two beautiful kids.
Life is good,
And l knew that l didn't wanna
spend the rest of my life with out this woman.
So I married her.
And l'm so glad l did, l wouldn't change a thing.
You are so sweet, You know l love you, right?
l love you, too, baby,
Wait_ Watch your _tep,
Sheila, Troy, your turn,
Yes.
Okay, l can't hold that,
Here we go. We're alway. up,
Why l got married is simple, 'Cause l love this woman.
Behind her eyes was
so much pain and truth and love
that l wanted to help her, heal her,
l wanted to be her hero.
Little did l know that
she'd be all that for me, and then some.
She's my queen,
Why did l get married?
When l met Troy, it was his eyes,
They said that l could mary him, and that l could trust him.
l needed to trust and to love
because l've been through a lot of pain
in my past relationship and in my life,
l believed that there had to be an opposite
to the misey, the loneliness,
and l found that exact opposite
in this man.
Marcus, Angela?
l pass,
Y'all know she ain't got nothing positive to say,
All right, you mo, stop!
Why don't you leave me a message,
and l'll check it once l get a password, okay?
How about that?
Here we go,
Pat and Gavin, you wanna go?
l think we should allow our guests to go first,
l agree with what she said, yeah,
So be it.
AIl you do is go up and you say why you got married.
Okay,
lt's been so long, l don't think l can remember.
Oh, stop it,
Mademoiselle, please,
l didn't know we was gonna be on exhibit,
We've been married 53 years, right?
-Fifty-five, -Fifty-five?
Yes.
l just said that to see if she would remember.
Right,
l married this sweet little soul when l was 2 years old.
She was the only woman for me,
That's not how l remember it.
He asked me to wait because he was going omto the war. l did.
And when he came back home, l just knew thatwe were gonna mary.
But he wanted Edna Rankins.
No, let bygones be bygones,
-l'm gonna spill it, -No!
He married this little hussy, you see?
And in three years time, she run off,
-So you waited for him, -l did not.
l married Washington Freeman,
He was the countriest man l ever met.
-Three times her age, -Stop it.
He was so old, his social security numberwas three.
Shut up!
He worked in the fields, with the cows.
He always smelled like cow chips,
Just stop it,
Well, his marriage ended when she ran omwith the milkman.
Literally! The milkman!
Leaving him with mo children to raise,
You know, l wentto the market one day,
and l saw him there wrestling with these children.
-l laughed so hard! He got mad at me! -Yeah,
She was vey rude!
There l am, tying to get the children in the car, she's over there laughing!
l said to him,
''The grass wasn't so green after all!''
l swore that l would never speak to her again.
Of course, you know, l did,
Next winter, Washington took ill,
By the summer, he could barely get out of bed.
l buried him,
and then we had to leave the farm because we didn't own it,
l went to church, and l prayed fora miracle,
a place for me and my three children to stay.
l looked up and l saw an angel!
ltwas the finest, most hand some man l ever saw.
He said,
''Hello, Ola,''
lt was him.
ltwas the way he said my name,
lt was the kindest, sweetest
sound l had ever heard.
And l knew then
that l wanted to mary him,
Sweet little angel,
We love each other.
There's no fear.
There's no ego, no attitude,
l look at these young people today, my heart bleeds.
Looking and wanting love so bad,
not knowing howto find it, Not knowing anybody
to show them what it is and how to get it,
lfyou don't remember anything from us tonight, remember this.
Love, pure love,
will never return to you void,
See why l love this man?
Okay, your turn, Pat and Gavin,
So, y'all want us to go aRer that?
Come on.
Okay,
That was so beautiful.
Well, you all know that we love you vey much
and we love each other.
Gavin and l have decided to get a divorce,
Patricia...
We love each other vey, vey much,
And we've just grown apart,
l'm sory,
l'm so sory,
We're .till gonna be vey good friend,
Gavin...
Evemhing's gonna be okay, watch You'll see, we'll be fine,
We're gonna be best of friends,
Gavin was telling me how beautiful it was in the Bahamas.
l think l should make it down there sometime.
Yeah, Phil, you definitely should, It's beautiful there. Really.
All right,
l was talking to Dianne about this divorce,
We think it's great how civil you mo are being about this.
Well, we told you we would be,
Gavin and l love each other vey much,
Right, sweetie?
And we just think it's better that we're apart,
Okay, Well, we took your direction
and divided eveything down the middle,
Okay,
Yeah, all the real property comes to g1oo,15o,
to be sold and split, 50-50,
Yeah.
AIl the bank accounts divided down the middle,
we're showing that bemeen investments, savings,
lRA retirements and 401Ks.
You mo will be splitting $970,000,
Yeah, that sounds about right. Yeah,
Don't forget about the other account,
Gavin was telling me that
there was another account that's not listed here,
lt has about $800,000 in it.
Yeah, that's the money from my book,
That's not included?
We're not omering that,
Well, l didn't know that.
But why would l, Gavin?
-lt's ours, -Ours?
Gavin, that's the money l made from my book sales,
Why would l include that in the settlement?
lt's what we built together, Patricia,
-We? -VJe.
''We''? What page did you write, Gavin?
What book tour lecture were you on?
Patricia, how many nights did l stay up all night
listening to you and your ideas and giving you some of mine?
Yeah, but, Gavin, l didn't use not one ofyour ideas.
Yes, you have. You always do, l've always been your case study.
-Are you serious? -Are you serious?
All right, Gavin, Iet's be reasonable aboutthis.
lt's my money. l earned it,
So, can we move on, please?
No, we're not just gonna move on,
Okay? You wanna be reasonable? You include that.
-Are you reallytying to do this? -Absolutely.
All right, fine,
So, you wanna include it?
No, l'm not including it, 0ianne,
-No? -You know what, Gavin?
This ain't about the money,
-This is about greed. Your greed, -You're right.
-Yeah. -Thank you.
l should be greedy,
'cause l've been starving in this relationship.
Can we talk about this in private, please?
Now you wanna talk about things in private,
You didn't feel thatway in the Bahamas, did you?
When you announced that we were getting divorced
in front of all ourfriends, you never ran that by me.
Patricia, that is the problem, okay?
Evemhing is always private with us,
That is whywe're here,
Oh, my God, where is this coming from?
You look in the mirror and you tell me
how you kept up this farce ofa marriage for 14 years
when l could've been out there enjoying my life,
lnstead, l've been waiting for you to learn how to love me,
You know l love you, Gavin,
You tolerate me.
-You tolerate, there's a dimerence, -Tolerate,
And ever since Noah died, you have been impossible.
All right,
You're tying to hurt me, l ain't gonna do this.
-You're not gonna do what? -No, l'm not standing for this.
l'm not doing thi_,
No, you're gonna sit here and listen to this,
-Not today, l'm not, -Yes, you are, Patricia.
-Ye_, you are, -Gavin!
-You're gonna listen to this. -Gavin, move,
Get out of myway,
Go ahead, Go run, Play your little game,
Go play hide and seek, Pattie,
Dianne, it is on.
You tell herto prepare for a fight,
Excuse me.
All right, Come on,
-You good, babe? -Yeah.
All right, Come on, baby,
Go on in the house.
Hello!
Angela,
-Hi! -Hi!
Could l talk to you for,,, No, no,
Could l talk to you for just a second?
Ms, Tan, l have to go make dinner for the kids.
lt'Il just be a minute,
l really need to talk to you, It's so important.
-Did you have a good vacation? -l did, thank you.
-Oh, great. -Thank you so much.
So, come closer, please. l really,,. It's private.
Okay, What is it?
l don't like the way he looks at me,
You called me all the way over here for this?
No, no, no, Well, you know l work at night,
l volunteer at the hospital, so l need to sleep in the daytime.
-What's wrong? -lt's the noise.
-ls it my kids? -No, no, no. l love your kids.
lt's not that kind of noise.
Well, Ms, Tannenbaum, what kind of noise are you talking about?
Well, it's from your bedroom,
Tuesdays and Thursdays at noon,
the noise coming from your bedroom, it's embarrassing.
lt's,..
You know...
Sexual noises.
Are you _ure about that?
Yeah, l do know a little bit about sex.
Ms, Tannenbaum, l work all day during the week, so...
Well, if you're at work, who is making all that... Oh, my...
Can you watch the kids for me, for about an hour?
-Hey, -Hey.
How did it go?
l didn't get it,
l'm sory,
Over-qualified,
There.
0id anybody call?
No.
l don't know what we're gonna do,
The mortgage is due here and back home,
l don't have the money,
l've been thinking about that,
l'm gonna borrow the money from Pat or Angela.
No, you're not,
We borrow money from each other all the time, It's not a big deal,
-Sheila. -lt'II give us breathing room
-and we need that, -Sheila!
You must not have heard what l said in the Bahamas, No.
l'm gonna getthe money, okay?
You really need to getyour pride out of this,
l'll handle this.
l've neverseen you like this!
You know, we should've never left Colorado.
l should have followed my first mind,
Okay,
So, you're blaming me forthis?
l'm gonna make some calls,
Troy ... -Damn it, Sheila!
Give me some space!
0on'tyou evertalk to me like that again!
This book is about a little boy, And evemhing he tried to do,
people would tell him, ''You can't do that!''
And when he'd ask, he'd say, ''Why?'' And they'd say, ''Because they say''
-0id anybody evertell you ''they''? -Yes.
-Who's ''they''? -The other people.
Other people, right. Let nobody stop you from what you want.
This is a great book,
Hello!
-Hey! -Hi, Mommy!
-Hey, Mommy! -Hi!
-You need some help, babe? -No, l think l got it_
l picked up this magazine for you,
There's this great article on kids' health,
-Thanks, Hey, -Yeah.
So, howwas your day?
lt was good, Do you wanna read to your brother?
-Okay. -Yeah, go ahead and read to him.
ltwas really good, Howwas yours?
-l had a greatday, l did, -yeah?
Yeah, l mean, itwas a heavy workIoad
-but itwas still a great day, -Okay,
You know what l wanna know, right?
What are you talking about?
Pat and Gavin, honey, What happened?
You know l can't talk about it, right? You know that.
But l will say that you probably should go see him.
-Yeah, -l bought these flowers.
-Don't they smell great? -Yeah.
Yeah, they smell good,
Mom, Dad taught me howto do fraction,
He did? Well, that's fantastic!
Tery, Tery_ Tery!
-Feel like chicken? -Yeah, chicken.
-Yeah? -Yeah.
Chicken it is, Great.
You must've had a really great day at work,
You're so happy, honey,
-lt was a good day, Yeah! -Yeah?
-These come with a card? -No.
-No? -No,,.
There's a stick for a card.
Right, Well, you know, the florist must've made a mistake.
The florist made a mistake, huh?
Okay, l'm gonna get started on the chicken,
l hope you kids are hungy, 'cause l'm making chicken!
There you go_ And what about you?
-l'm all right, -AIl right, okay!
-l wanna watch my dad, -Okey-doke_
-There he is! -...he's gonna throw into
that much tramic? What was he thinking?
l Don't know what he was thinhing....
-Hey, where's Marcus at? -Excuse me, ma'am,
-Marcus! -Ma'am, you can't go out there_
-Wait a minute, What's this? -Angela?
-Marcus, -Lady, we're live.
l don't give a damn about you being live!
How you doing. Rodney?
Marcus. whothe heIl have you had at my house?
On Tuesdays and Thursday 5 et noon, Mercus?
Maybe we should watch something else,
You are a nas...
Wow.
Marcus' nasty behind has the nerve to have some hos
with them little wide receivers, with them tight ends,
having touchdowns up in my bed!
Your nasty ass... l'm so sick of this!
Marcus! Who'd you have in my bed?
Well, evidently we have some Iate-breaking Marcus news.
And we'II have that foryou when Sports Shuffle comes back.
0on't go anywhere,
What is this, Springer?
And we're out, _et's goto commercial.
You are like three crazy people!
Oh, yeah? You know what, Marcus? You ain't seen crazy.
Who did you have at my house in my bed?
How many times l got to tell you? Nobody!
You are such a liar.
-You tying to make me lose myjob? -l don't give a damn about this job!
You're about to lose yourwife and your kids!
You're so damn evil!
Yeah? You ain't seen evil.
What do you want? You want the cell phone? Is that what it is?
All right, l'll give you the cell phone,
l'Il give you the cell phone, Here you go,
Take the damn cell phone. All right?
The password to my cell phone and the e-mail is your damn birthday.
Now, just getto stepping, so l can keep my job.
'Cause you know good and damn well we need the money,
because your damn salon ain't bringing in jack!
That's whatyou think this is?
Because l'm going through a recession?
That thatjustifies you to bring somebody into my bed, Marcus?
Are you listening to anything that l'm saying,
or just the crazy people in your own head?
Get your ass out of here, so l can make us some money.
Yeah, l'm leaving, but this ain't over with,
Where is my damn purse? l'll see you later,
What y'all doing, you little nosy-ass,,,
Just going over notes,
-,,,Sporfs ShunIe people? -Just doing notes,
-Yeah, -Wow.
l'm done with this, Marcus! l'm not taking this from you no more!
-l'm about to dump you,,, -Are we back?
And we're back in five, four, three...
No, l can't...
Listen, l'll talk to you later, Hejust got in, okay? Bye.
You know, l think it's best if l move out.
lt's a good idea,
How do you do that?
Always have to be in control, never show any emotion?
You've been drinking again, haven't you, Gavin?
What do you want me to do? My wife
doesn't love me.
You know who does love me?
Your co-worker.
What's her name? Denise, She's been calling me. She's...
''Gavin, l love you,''
You know what you are right now? Pathetic!
Be an adult, okay? Settle this, Gavin,
Give me the money!
Stop drinking, okay?
You know what? You need to have a drink, okay?
Gavin, you're not taking our pictures,
-You're not taking those pictures! -What do you...
What do you care about, okay?
You didn't shed one tear when our son died.
-That's enough, That's enough, -Okay?
0on't talk to me about no damn picture,
No, You know what?
Gavin, stop!
No, you're gonna sit here,,,
You're gonna sit here and you're gonna listen to me, okay?
-l'm gonna tell you,,, -Stop it!
..,what l've been holding on to this whole marriage.
You're drunk, Look, you're,,,
-How about it? You want tojoin me? -Stop it!
Let's drink together,
-Gavin, stop it! -Nope.
-Stop it! -Cheers, baby.
You're drunk.
l'm gonna tell you,
You say purge, right? No, no, no,,,
No, get omof me! Get omof me!
Baby, listen,
-Now, isn't this what you tell your readers? -Get offof me!
You tell your readers to purge, right? To purge?
l'm gonna purge, Now, listen to me, l'm gonna purge,
-l'm gonna purge,,, No, listen,,, -Don't touch me. You're hurting me!
-0octor, doctor, listen to your patient, -Don't touch me.
Listen to your patient,
l'm gonna purge. l'm gonna dump,
No, no, This is what you tell them?
-l'm gonna purge, l'm gonna dump, -Get offof me.
No, listen, Just tell me. Tell me something,
Baby, listen, no, no, Listen, tell me,
Why,,, Why do you always have to,,,
Why do you always have to be right? Why do you have to be in control?
Just tell me something, What happened to you?
What makes you like that, huh?
No, no, just tell me, Tell me what makes you like that.
-You,,, -Leave me, Gavin.
-You got all this advice for eveybody,,, -Get offof me.
-No, no,,, -Get offof me...
-You got advice for eveybody,,, -Get om, You're hurting me!
-,,,but you don't wantto help yourself! -Get om of me.
-You don't want to,,, -Let go!
You're sick! You're psychotic!
-Baby, listen,,, -You've gone crazy!
Hey! Baby!
No, No, Gavin.
Not the baby's pictures! Those are the only ones we have!
Gavin, don't!
-You like that? You like that? -No! No! No!
l love you,
l love you. l love you,
Okay,
Okay, Okay,
-Hey, babe, -Hey,
l'm glad you called me,
-How are you? -l'm fine,
l can't lie, l was,,, l was shocked when l got your call.
l really wa,
l knew you missed me,
Stop,
Joke.
l'm just here because l need a favor,
What is it?
l cannot believe l'm asking you this,
What is it?
Are you still friends with the chiefof police?
0o you still play golf with him?
Yeah, why?
Troy's been tying to get ajob and they've been giving him the run-around.
Can you help him?
Sheila.
Just a yes or a no,
Sure.
Sure, l'll give him a call,
Thank you,
ls that the only reason you came?
Yeah.
But, Mike, Troy cannot know about this, okay?
Yeah, l won't say a word,
lt's really good seeing you.You look great,
Thank you,
What's wrong with you?
-Why are you being so nice? -l've always been nice.
Who do you think you're talking to?
l know you,
Okay,
Look, l,,.
l've made some bad decisions in my life
and l just want to fix them, that's all,
That's good,
l'm glad foryou,
l do miss you,
Oh, God.
l'm gonna go and meetwith the girls, They're waiting for me around the corner.
Tell them hi.
Noises? From the bedroom? And you heard this from your neighbor?
Yeah, can you believe that? She caught me at my car and told me that,
and l'm gonna find out the truth,
What the hell are you looking at?
Was that you on Sports Shunle?
You know what? Shuffle that food down yourfat-ass throat
and leave me the hell alone, okay? And mind your business,
-ShuflIe that! Thank you vey much! -What's he talking about?
Absolutely nothing, Dianne, nothing, trust me.
Can you believe, Tuesdays and Thursdays in my house?
-ln my bed, -No, l really can't.
-Has he lost his mind? -Yes.
Hi, Sheila.
Hi, how are you?
Sory, l'm late,
Where's Pat?
l tried to call her, She's not answering her phone, So...
Oh, my God, Dianne, Is she okay?
-You guys, l can'ttalk aboutthe case, -Yes, you can.
Please, don't,,, Don't ask me, No.
Come on, She's not okay,
lt's gonna get ugly, I know it,
0ivorce_ are born to be ugly, But Pat and Gavin,,,
-l know, -Theywere like a template for us.
l know. Me, too.
l mean, whenever l got into it with Tery, l would just say,
''What would Patricia do?'' Now, l don't know what to say.
He's cheating on her, ain't he?
-Gavin? No, -Yes. Didn't he?
-Come on, give up the goods, Dianne. -No. She didn't say that he did, but...
How do you really know that your spouse is cheating, anyway? l mean, really.
lfyou think he's cheating, then he's cheating,
Wait a second, just because you suspect,
that doesn't mean that it's the truth, Itjust doesn't,
l di_agree with that,
Dianne, eveytime l caught Marcus cheating,
l knew it before l found out.
l know because l know how to listen to that voice on the inside of me
that tells me when a man is cheating,
The voice?
Yeah, butyou smoked so much weed in college!
Baby, you might not want to listen to that voice in your head.
lt's probably still high,
Seriously, ifyou're always in a chemically induced state,
you mightwant to reconsider
eveything that you're doing,
And thinking, too,
What is this, an intervention?
That has absolutely nothing to do with it,
l know howto tell.
lfyour man, if he goes to work all day long
and then comes home smelling like a fresh bar of soap,
something's up. l ain't got time to be sitting around all day guessing.
Relationships are supposed to be about
-trust, -No, l'm an old-school fool.
l'm checking his bank statements, l'm checking his credit card statements,
l'm checking his timecard atwork and l'm comparing it
to the hours that he said he was working
and it better match the money he has coming home_
l'm checking his cell phone bill,
l'm checking the numbers that he was calling on his cell phone bill.
l'm checking his mileage in the car,
Hisjob is 10,5 miles,
The kids' school is 2.1 miles.
l checked the mileage when he goes to Tery and Dianne's house.
That is 6,7 miles.
And when any ofthose miles come back 2,2, or 5,6, or 7,9, or 10,7,,,
lf he comes back
and l see 4,8 and a halfofa mile,
that means he came from Keisha's house,
he rode to the store to get some breath spray...
Do you check his pulse when he walks through the door?
His resting heart rate is 42 beats a minute,
lf Marcus comes home to the house and he claims he was atwork all day,
if that resting heart beat is 58 beats a minute, he's been cheating.
l'm not doing all that, That's a full-time job,
-Exactly, -The bottom line
is that l have to check him.
All that time l spent training that man on how to be right for me,
you think that l'm really gonna let some other woman
ta_e all that on-the-job training?
-What is he, a man or a puppy? 'Cause,,, -He ain't either one.
That's why l got his cell phone right here, and l'm waiting for itto ring,
l just hate that Gavin and Patricia are going through this.
lt's unbelievable, really,
Dianne, what happened?
They want a divorce, that's all l can tell you,
-l can't say anything, Stop asking me. -Ring the doorbell.
Patricia!
Her car is out there, l don't know why she's not answering.
Hey, babe, it's us,
Come on, let us in.
We're worried aboutyou, baby, please,
Hey,
-Hey, where you been? -l went out with the girls.
Where's our son?
l put him down about an hourago,
-Okay. -Babe,..
l'm sory,
You know, l thought you'd left me,
Why would you think that?
Because evey time we get into it, you threaten to leave me,
l'm not gonna leave you,
Good.
'Cause l don'twant you to leave,
Baby, married people argue, even in a good marriage.
-l know, -We got a good marriage.
l don't know what l'd do with out you,
l cooked.
Smells good,
You want some?
l got a job,
-l got a job! -Oh, babe, that's great!
l start tomorrow.
l mean, it,,, Itjust came out of now here, It was the craziest thing.
-Told you. -Oh, man.
Sory, man, l saw that, though,
l'm sitting at home watching it going, ''This is crazy!''
What's up, Gavin?
-Hey, hey! -Hey_
You good, buddy?
Yeah.
What's up, man?
What's happening, Gavin?
Are you all right?
Yeah, yeah,
You ready to move?
Yeah.
Are you gonna open the door?
Yeah.
Gavin!
She changed the locks,
Are you crazy?
Gavin! Man, did you just throw a,,,
Gavin, man, what are you... What are you doing?
We came to help you move, l don'twant to be a pa#t of no crap with y'all,
No, that's fine, Okay, l have some suitcases and boxes over there,
-some other stum in this, -Where's Patricia? Is she at work?
l don't know, l waited across the street for herto leave. So,,,
This dude just threw a ficus through the window!
Waiting for her,,, What,,, Man, this is not healthy. Come on, Gavin, l mean, come on!
Stop this, okay? Please, stop it,
-She cheated on you, didn't she? -No,
-You cheated? -No.
Damn, eveybody ain't cheating, okay,,,
Look, guys, please, Hury up and help me get my stuff before she comes back.
Gavin, she don't know about this?
-No, -Okay, wait, wait, wait, okay, this is...
Okay, wait, listen, Listen to me, okay. Really.
Fourteen years you've been with this woman.
There's gotto be something in them 14 years somewhere
that's worth fighting for, This is not cool,
You can only fight with a person when they're willing to get in the ring with you.
She doesn't love me anymore,
That's what she said, She said she doesn'twant to be with me, okay?
l don't love my wife all the time, She don't love me all the time, okay?
lt's marriage, It goes in cycles,
Sometimes you love them, sometimes you don't, right? You and Angela,,,
See? See? It goes around,,,
That is the problem when you're married to a psychologist, okay?
They think they know evey damn thing,
Now, please, help me get my stum before she comes.
Man, why do l feel like we're breaking and entering?
'Cause we're going tojail,
This is why people don'twant to get married.
The only people who want to get married are gay people.
ls this a game you wantto play with me?
What do you want me to do? You changed the locks.
l want you to be a man, all right?
Leave this marriage with what you came in with, Gavin.
Look, l am a man, first ofall, Okay?
Second ofall, you go down to the bank and see what this man did.
l got it all now,
What makes you think you deserve a dime of my hard-earned money?
You want to fight?
Patricia, Patricia, wait.
-You wantto be crazy? -Wait, wait, wait...
l'Il showyou crazy! Come on!
-l'II showyou! l'll give you crazy! -Patricia, wait a minute,
Patricia, wait a minute, What are you,,,
l'll show you crazy!
Wait a minute! What are you doing?
Married for 14 years!
For 14 years!
Patricia, hold on a second, Patricia!
l thought you were somebody!
l gave you all my 14 years!
Who's the one who put the down payment on this house?
You greedy, selfish son ofa bitch!
Who gave you the money forthis architectfirm?
Greedy, selfish son ofa bitch!
Patricia, wait,..
Selfish bastard!
Get out of my house,
Get out of my house!
Get out! This is my house! Get out!
-Hey, Sheila. -Don't ''hey'' me.
-What'd l do? -Don't call my house again!
lfyou think you got me over a barrel because you helped Troy getthisjob,
-you are wrong! -That's not it.
l will tell my husband myself before l letyou call me any time of night.
Do you understand that? What kind of woman do you think l am?
-That's not what l'm tying to do, -What is it? What?
l just, l need your help,
-Angela! You scared me, -l thought you'd be asleep.
-l can't, The noise, -Yeah, well, l came here 'cause it's Tuesday.
And l want to see what noises you've been hearing.
l'm so sory. l'm sory,
Sory, l brought it up,
l'm so sory,
Sounds like he's really giving it to her,
Yeah, and l'm aboutto give it to both ofthem.
What the hell is wrong with you!
With your ho up in here! l'II kill you!
l'm gonna kill you! Bust a cap in your behind!
Marcus, my bed!
What the hell is wrong with you, Marcus?
You got some ho in my bed, l could kill you! l could kilI...
Alex?
Alex, what the hell are you doing in my bed?
How dare you be having sex with some ho in my bed,
And with my maid? Oh, hell, no!
You're supposed to be cleaning up this damn house!
Not sleeping in my bed! Get your asses out of my bed
and wash my damn sheets!
l'm sick ofthis! No, don't clean up a damn thing!
Get out of here!
Cet the hell out!
You stupid ass!
l'm really worried about them,
l've never seen her like this.
You need to at least call her orsomething,
We did, we called her.
Well, you need to go over there,
We did go overthere, You know, she didn't open the door.
l'm worried about her, and him, too.
Well, me, too. Trust me.
But, you know, l'll tell you what, We'll go over there tomorrow
and we'll refuse to leave until she opens the door.
Okay?
We'll figure evemhing out,
Are you wearing that to work?
Yeah.
Sexy,
Oh, yeah?
l'm glad you think it's sey,
Have you slept with him?
Slept with who? What,,, What are you talking about?
Sixty-three days ago, honey, you came home and you were dimerent.
You were happier than l've ever seen you,
From that dayto thi_ one,
you started taking a whole lot ofcare with the clothes you wear.
Your make up in the morning takes a little longer,
your perFumes are dimerent, the panties you wear.
From that day to this one, you just get happier and happier.
Honey, it's you that makes me,,,
Dianne, don't make me think l'm crazy when l know.
l know, tell me. Dianne.
Honey, l love your heartbeat, l know,
l'm in tune with you,
You can't be this arrogant to think that l wasn't paying attention.
ls his name Philip?
l'm tying to fix this, okay? l'm tying to save our ''us''
l'm tying to fix this, but you keep lying to me.
You're just gonna piss me om, and we won't be able to fix this.
Dianne, just tell me the truth,
ls it Philip?
We haven't done anything, l promise,
He's funny, he makes me laugh and he,,, He's an attorney.
He works at another firm, Do you really want to hear this?
Well, we worked on a case together and then, he invited me to dinner,
Februay 17th,
You must have sat really close to him that night, because
l could smell him when you walked through the door.
We did not do anything,
After the dinner l spoke to him on the 'phone
and l talked to him through e-mail, It was harmless.
What happened on March the 8th?
How do you mean?
l was the only person in the world,
Were you with him that night?
l saw him that day, yes,
Tery, l love you,
l love you,
So...
When we were having sex, you were thinking about him?
Yeah.
lf you thought about it, then you should,
Tery, please, l'm sory!
l'm sory, please! l won't ever see him again!
l'll never speak to him, It's not worth this to me.
You have to know that l love you, baby!
Tery!
So you working late again, Marcus?
-Yeah, -You couldn't even call me to tell me that?
You have my phone,
Yeah, and somebody's been calling your phone all day long and hanging up.
Baby, please don't start,
Oh, and look at it, it's ringing again,
Look atthat!
Hello!
Hello?
Hey, you know what, ho? l'm sick ofy'all calling this phone.
Stop ringing this damn phone!
And l hear you breathing, When are you gonna say something, ho?
Yeah, All right, You know what? You're gonna get punched in the face.
-You ain't got nothing to say, -Give me the phone.
Here, Go on and call your little ho back,
Angela, these are text messages,
You cannot answer a text message by picking up the phone,
Nobody has been calling all day,
That is ridiculous! Some old stupid phone that can't nobody work.
Maybe it ain't the phone that',,,
Look, Just read the text messages,
No, l ain't reading nothing, Marcus, No,
Good night,
Just give me the damn phone,
How do you wore this thing?
Whatever.
Wow, that's all from work?
You still don't trust me.
Honey, l'm so sory!
Honey, come here, Wait a minute, Come here, baby.. Just...
Come here, Honey, l'm so sory! Sit,,,
Honey, l'm sory l didn't trust you,
lt's okay, Angela, Look, l've gotto get some sleep, all right?
No, let's talk!
lt's a good time to talk, the kids are upstairs.
l'm so sory,
l don't know why l act so crazy,
Sometimes l feel like you might end up Ieaving me one day forsome cheerleader...
ls that what you been thinking about?
Baby, l am so past that age,
Those days are over for me,
Believe me, Trust me.
Honey, sometimes, l just.. l don't know,
l just wonder, like, why do you want to staywith me?
Baby, l love you!
That's why l'm here,
And one day, you are gonna know that,
And one day, you're gonna be able to trust me again.
But right now, l got to get some sleep,
-Honey, l love you so much, -l love you, too,
And the kids are asleep,
And maybe me and you can have some time...
-Come on now, We got,,, -You know...
l'm tired.
What's that?
l don't know.
-Hey, yeah, since the kids are asleep,,, -Wait a minute, hold up,
What is that?
Marcus!
What are you doing with anothercell phone, Marcus?
-You had mine! -Marcus, do you knowwhat?
-l don't give a damn if l had the cell phone! -l've gotto work!
Eveytime l tyto trustyou, Marcus, you always do something...
Then eveybody ty to make me out like l'm crazy,
and l ain't crazy!
-Good job today there, rookie, -Thanks.
Looks like they trained you well up there in Colorado.
Yeah, they did,
l got to be honest with you,
Anytime the boss tells us you come highly recommended,
you never know,
Highly recommended by who?
One of his golfing buddies, Mike, l don't know, somebody.
The guy's a jerk,
Anmay, he said that your wife asked him to hook you up.
You know where he lives?
What the hell are you doing here? Are you kidding me?
Are you tying to play me for some kind offool or something?
-l am not,,, -What the hell are you doing here, Sheila?
-You are not supposed to be here! -Wait. Wait.
Where is he? Where is he? Don't touch me!
Listen to me, Listen to me.
-Wait! Wait! Wait! -Where's Mike? Where's Mike?
Don't touch me, Don't put your hands on me.
-Let me just talk to you! -You got.. You know what?
You can't explain this! Where is he?
Oh, my God!
Get up!
Yo, get up! Get up!
l'm talking to you, Get up!
Oh, my God, Oh, my God. Wait, wait, Troy!
-What? How could you be here? -Baby, l'm helping him.
You think l need him to get a job?
He's got cancer, l'm just taking him to chemo.
l don't care. l don't care!
-That's howyou do me? -No!
l'm sory,
lt's a mess in here.
Why won't this light come on?
-Open the drapes, -No.
l'm okay,
Can you please leave?
Pattie, we're not leaving,
Angela.. l have,,,
l have no more fight left in me. Please,
-Please, -Do you really want us to go?
Please leave.
Okay, listen, can we make a deal with you?
What ifwe just sit here?
Then can we stay?
Gavin, man, it's irrelevant, l don't even blame this guy.
He don't know me, l don't know him.
But it's her, She should know betterthan that.
At least she didn't do nothing with him,
Marcus, man, come on.
lt don't matter ifshe slept with him or not, Women are different from men.
Men can have sex with this one and that one and have no connection at all,
get up and go on about their business,
leave 8200 on the dresser. You know what l'm saying?
Women are emotional creatures, and when they have an affair emotionally,
it's way worse than sex, l don't even want to hear that.
She vowed not to talk to him again, so, you know, keep that.
-l don't wantto hearthat, -Well, then you should state it.
Tery, trust me, you don't want to go through a divorce.
Why, because ofwhat you're going through?
You don't want to be like him, You ain't the divorcing kind.
That's what l'm tying to say, trust me,
Hey, Sheriff,
l'm sory if l hurt you. l didn't know,
We're good,
Look, l know we don't know each other.
But you should know your wife and she ain't that way.
l know my wife,
There you go,
The best man won.
Now, y'all listen up, evey one ofyou,
Man, life is too short.
Trust me.
So, you all need to make this right. All right? Fix it,
So, why didn't you tell us that you were sick?
That's what l want to know, man, What's up with that? We're your friends.
What good would that have done?
You guys are still at each other's throats,
Yeah, butwe'd have looked out for you,
Look, l'II be fine, all right?
You know l'm a fighter, l'm gonna beat this thing.
l'Il beat it.
All right. l'm gonna get some work done,
-AIl right, man, -AII right,
Yo, O'Malley,
Come on, Sheriff. Come on, man, sit down. Have a drink.
O'Malley, give him a drink,
-Hey, Ross, good to see you, -Oh, hey, Patricia...
-ls Gavin here? _Yeah, he's in his omice.
Bring it in, guys,
Yeah, l did,..
-l didn't know it was your birthday! -lt's not my birthday.
Patricia, what are you doing?
Can l get eveyone's attention, please? Can you gather around?
Patricia, what are you doing?
l would like for all of us to sing Happy Birthday today to my husband.
lt's his birthday today,
Patricia, l'm warning you,
Patricia.
Now, eveyone, count to three,
-One, mo, three! -Patricia...
Surprise!
You think this is funny?
-AII this is for you, -Yeah?
ln front of all your associates, this is my gift to you.
lf you want to be a bitch, then there's your man, Gavin.
This is the last time l tell you, you need to leave here now,
What you got, huh?
You leave here right now,,,
Don't put your finger in my face!
-Patricia! -What are you gonna do? Do what?
Whatyou,,, Huh?
l'm sick ofyour selfish ass, Gavin! l'm tired ofthis!
Go ahead.
Run, Run, Gavin, Run.
Run like a little girl!
-Yeah, You really have issues. -Run like the little bitch you are!
-You need to handle that, -At least you look like a little girl!
-You need to handle that, woman, -Turn around!
-And face me like a man! -You need to handle your issues!
You know what? You are a bitch, You know that?
You ingrate!
-How dare you,,, -You're gonna come by my job and....
How dare you ty to ta_e all my money?
You knowwhat? l've got nothing to say to you!
-l've got nothing to say to you! -How dare you ty to take all my money?
Go ahead, look at you run!
Come on, face me, Face me!
You ingrate! You selfish ingrate! How dare you ty to take all my money?
How dare you? Run! Run, you little bitch!
You are not gonna touch a dime of what l have, Gavin!
Oh, my God!
What did I do?
l didn't mean it! What did l do?
-Hey, hey, hey, hey, it's okay, -Listen, Patricia, it's gonna be all right.
-He's gonna be okay, -AIl right?
lt's stupid!
Just stupid! Fighting, fighting forwhat?
l don't care about any of that, He can have it all!
We know that.
l just want him to be okay,
Look at me.
You don't want to end up like this,
Love one another. Please, fix it!
Fix it! fix it!
Tonight, we
say goodbye to a friend,
someone we love
and we'll miss.
Truly a
great brother,
husband.
We say goodbye to you, Gavin,
May your soul rest in eternal peace,
-Excuse me, Professor Agnew. -Yes, Professor.
You left out so quickly, l was tying to catch you.
l'm sory. Is there something that l can help you with?
Thatwas a great lecture on grieving and healing,
Thank you. It's something l know all too well.
l know it's been only a year since your husband died.
This may be really inappropriate
but in your lecture, you talk about moving on.
Okay, what's going on?
There's someone who wants to meet you,
-Professor,,, -Just hear me out.
He's a philanthropist, He gives a lot of moneyto the college.
He reads your books, and he came to hear you speak today.
Lillian, with all due respect, you,,,
Can you please just say hi?
We need his funding,
All right, all right, Fine, where is he?
Hi, l'm so soryto bombard you this way,
l'm Daniel Franklin, And l just wantyou to know, Professor,
your lecture todaywas really amazing,
And l also wanted to letyou know that your books helped me get through
a pretty tough divorce,
And l was also wondering ifyou thought it would be too fonNard