I will take the lead and hack and slash our way through
...but the small parts that you do miss deliberately scratch you as you're passing
What, I took another 4 damage?
-About 10 ft ahead you see that it opens up - Enjoy dying...
and the grass pretty much dies off
If you climb up the rocky face, just a little bit I'll fireball down...
I'm going in the river. Going in the river
You reach the edge of the forest and you can see Honeywood in front of you
Have we walked around the entire planet??
There's two options, 1) We go back and shake down the ranger, 2) We go up the path
Up the path
Shake down the ranger
-Hey guys! Remember when I was saying -I think I want to shake down the ranger
we should go up the path?
Remember guys when the guy with the great axe didn't bother to cut down the thorns?
Urghhh
You also notice, while you're in your shop, that more shit has been stolen overnight
WHAT THE F***?
The longer you leave it, the longer the bullywugs are in town
- Oh ok, these bullywugs are starting to grind my gears! - The bullywugs are not leaving until
you deal with the wolves
- and whenever they're in town they are stealing shit - I think we need to go shake down the ranger
- Ok, let's go shake down the rangers - Also, you left your shop unattended last night
Baradun, Bodger rather. So Bodger, more of your shit's stolen as well
So, you set off, follow the exact same route that you did before
Yup
and head back into town
On your way, you get to a similar sort of location when *shgngngng* an arrow across your face
and looking across you see an androgenous elven person
Oh, hello fellow elf
- Who says-- - Oh that's right, I keep forgetting you're an elf
this is Rangers Guild territory, only the most daring, the most charming, and the most cha...
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah...
SKIP!
These woods have been protected by
SKIP!
The dragon has been overhead
SKIP!
for three
Oh SKIP!
The gods of Ni--
SKIP!
The wolves and the frogs... SKIP!
SKIP! SKIP! SKIP! SKIP! SKIP! As long as these woods have stood up your butts
SKIP! SKIP! SKIP! SKIP!
You must speak this exact
SKIP!
if you wish to SKIP!
Your colleague sent us in the wrong direction and I am furious about it
YEAH!
That's right!
We've been going round in circles and we're not happy
- Round and round and round - He sent us back to Honeywood
He sent us down the low road Yeah!
Ah, did you go down the lower path next to the river?
Yeah
No, stupid humans, you're meant to go up the high path
He told us to never go up the high path
- under any circumstances - yes, cos that's what I mean, he's a stupid human
Who's the guy that gave us that advice??
I don't know them, I don't know who gave you it.
I know that he was a stupid human if he told you to go down by the...
Yeah, he was...
- Right! Ok, I... - I want to see if he's lying
Yeah!
Alright, see if they are lying with an insight check
first one of these of the game
[whispered] Oooh, motherf- I'd better get twenty
Nice! Natural 20!
Alright, plus your insight modifier? Nice
3, so 23
*dice roll*
Um, you gather something on the way that they're speaking
they seem to be particularly good at deception but there is something in it that's wrong
there's a couple of like, just a couple of hesitations where they think of the next thing and then say it
and to a less trained eye, they'd probably miss it
Well, there's four of us and one of them, let's intimidate.
Okay, inti- You don't know this, he's seen this.
- Okay, yeah, guys... - What did you see?
I think he's lying to us!
What??!
Okay...
Let's shake him down!
Let's f***ing intimidate him
Let's intimidate
Excuse me!
No, no, first let's look around and make sure there's no other rangers
Now can I just tell you,
my intimidation level is 4 - For a start, I don't use him, I use they
I have an extra 4
Good
I have 3, let's intimidate this motherf*****
I'm not, I'm trying to help you, you said you were looking for wolves
Hey!
We need to look, ok really quickly, we need to try and see if there's any other rangers around
Everyone quickly look around!
We all look, we all look
Everyone, look around! Quickly! We all look around
[Baradun] I got 17! [Greg] 19
[Bodger] 3 [Bob] 6!
Alright, you don't see any other humanoids in the immediate vicinity
Let's shake him down! Let's shake this boi down Hold up hold up hold up hold up
Shouldn't we just check that he's actually alone and not surrounded by a million other rangers?
Alright, let's have a quick scan Look around. Look around. Everybody look around!
Agh!
Aaah!
Ok, I looked around, we're fine.
We're fine. I think we're fine
Everyone, roll for intimidation!
Let's roll for intimidation!
All four of us around them!
[Greg] 13
[Bob] 4! f***
You're so useless! [Bodger] 17, 18, 19
You are so useless!
[Bodger] 21
I also got- [Bob] 5 - 21 intimidation
Let's intimidate the shit out of this guy! I shall intimidate this
Let's get 'em!
Right! *(not very) tough guy noises* Yeah!
Are you doing so with physics, are you just *grrrr*?
I'm like you're gonna f****** tell us
I put on my full Jason Statham this time
Tell them Bodger, tell 'em Bodger
Yeah, yeah, Bodger, my boi! Get 'em Bodger, get 'em!
Bodger's my boi! Get 'em!
Woooo!
Right! Yeah!
Now, you listen here mate. And, you listen good.
Are you shakin'?
Here's what's gonna happen
You shakin'?
Mate.
You're gonna tell us exactly what we wanna hear
That's right!
If you say any lies, this man's gonna shank ya
Woooooh!!
Get in there, get in there Greg!
Alright, alright!
WHY ARE YOU LYING TO US?
BECAUSE YOU'RE TRYING TO KILL THE WOLVES
O
Ohh
Well...
- Alright. What's so special about those wolves? - They're just doing what they do
that's what wolves do
and you're coming in here slaughtering them and taking their coats and-
Well we haven't done... -fur trade and tearing down the forest and
We haven't done that stuff yet...
Look, we're not gonna trade them for furs, we're just killing them in cold blood
Killing them for fun is what we're doing
Yes, and that's why we don't want it. Alright?
Well, we're killing them for frogs really
- That's why he sent you down the lower path - We have no choice, we have to do it to
get our shit back from the frog people
Fine.
Can't we do a selective culling?
Or can you just get the wolves to move along?
That, we're currently trying, we're not sure why they're growing in such numbers but
we are working on it, okay?
This is a bit of a daisy chain of a quest! Goodness.
Listen!
We just, that's why he sent you down a dangerous path next to the river
the high path is the safe one
That guy's a prick.
You must go back the way you came until you hit the path then take a left
walk 500 yards, take a left
eventually you'll see a clearing by a river you MUST take the high road
under no circumstances shall you take the low road -The high road!
The high road. Right.
That shall lead you to the wolves
So we should have gone that way the whole time, innit
Oh my god, don't push me mate.
Don't push me.
- Should have gone that way the whole time. - But once you get there I just have to say
I don't-
Is he still lying to us?
be nice.
Just be nice, the wolves are,
they're doing what they do naturally -He wouldn't, I got 21 on intimidation
he wouldn't dare. - He wouldn't be lying to us, would he?
Wouldn't lie to us nah
Cos he knows what'll 'appen *punching sounds*
The wolves are nice
Cos he knows what'll happen
what can we do to help move the wolves along?
Yeah
There's currently a-
There's currently a new alpha in the forest that has--
Well I have just- oh sorry, the wolves!
They have been successful in combining many wolf packs into one and they're over hunting
Seemingly at his discretion, I'm not sure
Want a beer?
So what you're saying is that if we can kill this alpha, that might--
That would probably move it along, yes
dissimidate... dissipi...dissimidate precipitating
Bodger!! You know what we should do?
Take the high path
*finger click*
We're gonna take the high path
Very good.
Alright, that's where I wanted to go first of all but-
Right! Let's do it!
Goodbye
Let's go. Right. Let's do it!
Alright, let's do this
May the goddess of nature be on your side
Watch yourself
You follow the directions another hour or so Leave him...
to get to this point
Man, if we had of just gone the high path a long time ago, I mean we would
Bodger, I swear to God
What is the marching order?
I swear to God
What's the order?
That is like-
Send Bodger first! Send Bodger first
That's like two episodes
Yeah Bodger first, Greg at the back as per
Okay, let's do it
Alright
- As you round the corner, Bodger-- - Thank f***
...dies
you see that there is a large boulder in this path
Well hold up, hold up
Bob. Was that rock there before?
[In Scottish] It wasn't there last time
Urghh! Lelelelele How did you miss that last time?!
I need you all to make a strength saving throw please
Okay. Strength saving throw.
- Saving throw, that doesn't sound good - With disadvantage
With disadvantage? Oh what??
[Greg] 7
[Bodger] 18 + 19 yeah yeah
Strength saving
Is that cocked?
Strength, what did you say?
Oh, so sorry, it's the 18
Oh, well, *maths*, 16
What was my first one? 8?
8 and then plus anything?
Your strength
It won't be enough
- 22 - 9
Alright, so,
Is 16 enough, please?
Bodger,
I got 6, does that help us at all?
Does it?
Bodger, you see in front of this rock as you're looking at it, like you're not sure, you turn round to your friends
and then you turn back and the rock has moved about 5 ft back and in its place is a at least 7.5 ft tall,
seemingly like a very thin bear looking person What is that?!
Whoa whoa whoa!
Puts their hands out and blasts a huge gust of wind at all of you
The people, these two,
Great, Bodger, great we came up here innit
Further to fall!
It worked out a treat, didn't it?
Oooooooh...
Baradun...
You'd better shut your mouth
- 16 would be enough, unfortunately-- - You'd better shut your mouth
in front of you is a very thin elf who gets blown off his feet and slams into you, raising the DC that you needed
and you both get flown off of the cliff and woooooooooo *splash*
Man, I'm so glad we came up this path
Flung down into the water
Aaaaarrrrgggggghhhhh!!!!!!!!
Grrrr... Urrrrrrgh...
Bodger, you get pushed only 5 ft back as you see
Do we end up in the glade?
I think? I guess so?
As you see this bear-like person *boosh*
it's all you buddy
and the wind continues, it is very strong wind, but you're stronger
Right, I'm gonna - riiight! - f*** him up
I'm gonna f*** him up
I'm gonna swing my- great axe, you've got a great axe - great axe at his bloody head
With disadvantage because of the wind
Awww shit Oh no
10
Oh, please be more than 10
OH NO!
6. Plus - plus your attack modifier - er strength modifier 3 so 9
9. Not enough.
So you swing and the big broad side of the axe as you bring it back
catches the wind and it's just too hard to push against the wind
The rest of you, get swept down the river
Ooooh... OoOoh...
We're in the glade again, shall we skim stones?
It is - yeah I look for stones
Oh sorry, at the end of your turn, I need you to make another strength save
as the wind continues
19.
19. You continue powering, just knuckling down and powering against this wind as
they're continuing to try and hit you with it
As I sail down the river I go: You got this Bodger!
- They're just going to continue trying to push you with it - [distant] Go fuck yourself Bodger!
It's back to you
Um, pffffft,
- I reckon keep swinging dawg - Are we running back at this moment?
- Ok, ok, ok, ok, I'm gonna try - You're still swept away in the river at this point
each round is only 6 seconds
I'm gonna attempt to communicate with this thing, go:
What do you want? Why are you doing this to us, to me and us?
You shout this against the wind, WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?
And, they, then you get swept down river more, then on their turn they say:
You're not welcome in these woods, get out
We just want to kill a wolf
At the end of, I need you to make another strength save
4 Dammit
Plus 3.
And with that you finally just, your foot gives way and *ahhhh* you're pushed off *spoosh* into the river
Eventually while you guys are skimming stones, one of you skims just as Bodger's head comes up
*bink* *boop*
Yeah, gotcha! Sorry Bodger!
This place, this whole place, is really pissing me off.
It's just PISSING me off.
Alright, you eventually walk another hour to the edge of the forest, find yourself back in Honeywood
We shouldn't have blindly turned- Arrrrgggghh!
It is late afternoon this time cos you didn't spend quite as much time doing shit
Do we just head straight out again?
TAVERN!
Tavern, sleep Beer!
Beer beer be be be beer! Tavern!
Long rest, next day!
Yay! Drink!
I'm gonna punch Greg!
No.
ZzzzzZZzzzzzZZZZzzzzzzZZZZzzzzzZzzzzzz
Who wants breakfast? Garlic and fish!
You make your way to the same place *schdngdngdng*
This time you see a dwarf, who tries to start: This is the Rangers Guild-
SKIP!!!!
You rangers lied to us again!
No you need to go the wrong way, oh no it's the elf gave you the wrong direction,
you need to be on the right side of the river
Oh for f-
*deep breath*
Okay, okay, hang on hang on You're coming, she's f***ing coming with us
She's f***ing coming with us
*contagious giggles*
Alright, Greg, Greg, Greg, okay, okay, Bob grabs Greg and shakes him
Arghhhh!
Greg, Greg, slaps, calm down!
Calm down for the love of god
Okay.
Guys
Alright.
Pump the brakes
It was just the elf's problem, they're stupid and they sent you on the wrong path,
you need to be on the right side of the river to get past it
Yeah, you're coming with us you dirty b****
I wanna do a lying investigation as well again
- Make an insight check, with advantage - Greg! - Sorry
Very much not like you
Okay, I'm sorry
9 or
14
With advan- with thing is...
Insight Er, 17
17. Not only is this person lying, they're speaking with a similar rhythm and a similar cadence
to the two other people you've met
Aaaaahh, you're not a ranger at all!!
Pause. Pause pause pause.
Murder. Murder. I'm proposing murder. -Murder. Murder?
I'm on board!
So we've already, from the lie test last time, we know that they're trying to protect the wolves
No we don't
We don't know that
We just know they're lying
No, but he even said like-
- Yeah, and he might have been lying - No, you said that
You said that.
So, let's explain what happened.
They were saying oh you just need to take this path it'll be fine.
He discovered they're lying to us
You confronted them about it, they came clean with a different lie
Yeah
Oh
I don't think this prick's a ranger at all, I think he's some shape-shifting goblin-y piece of shit
Detect magic!
Yeah, detect magic!
Alright.
So, by now your wand has recharged to full, you've got three charges
You use it, and you cast it, and you definitely get a sense of illusion magic from this person
Yeah
Murder!
Agreed.
Let's go, wait wait wait wait
The dwarf steps, takes a step back and nocks an arrow
Wait. Wait.
I've got an idea
What?
I'm gonna steal from 'im
Ooooh...
I mean *whispers* I'm gonna steal from him
We know, she or he now knows that we know that they're using illusion magic
so now that we know that let's intimidate
It might be a dop- I don't know if dopplers exist in this universe but it
might be a doppler, a shapeshifter -Who knows what he is?
Might be Rogue from X-men?
- So I'm thinking I could - Maybe.
So I'm thinking I could distract him with my mage hand, sneak around behind him and pick his pocket
Sure Bob, just do you man
Okay, I'm gonna make a dance
I'm standing right here!
Alright, here I go, wish me luck
Hey hey
Okay, okay -I'm dancing!
Bodger's dancing Hey! I'm dancing!
While he's distracted I move round I'm dancing!
behind the gnome very quietly
Dwarf
Make a stealth check first
17
Pretty good
Plus 7
24!
Now make a sleight of hand check
Hey hey
That's not bad
As you are sufficiently distracting her with, she's not liking what's going on
Mememememe, over here! Here here here here here
Dancing man
Very distracting, innit?
10 + 7, so 17
17. What are, what're you doing?
So your hand goes in to where the dwarf's pouches should be
and you feel fur against like the back of a leg
Ah, ok
Why is your back so furry?
and why does it feel like a thigh?
Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa! Alright alright alright alright alright!
That's enough
*Totally super cool dance noises*
Can you stop it?
That's enough, alright, fine.
So you see the dwarf illusion drop and in its place stands a 7 ft tall creature
*gasp*
that is furry head to toe almost like a thin bear
What did you find out?
It's actually a 7 ft tall bear thing
Oh.
I think you'll find that's a firbolg
Yeah
Bear thing
Aghhhhhh!
Oh wait! It's the bear thing!
Ah!
You're the one who blew us off the ridge!
Hang on, you're the one who, yeah yeah, you're the one who blew us off the thing!
Outrageous
How're you doing? I haven't seen you in a while
DON'T! Ignore that! Yeah
You've got some explaining to do!!
YEAH!
More of that, less of this
Yeah
And were you? So, every time we saw a ranger it was just you?
It was
Awww *fist slam*
-You see this person has- -Why did you? Hmm...
This person is almost cow like in the fact, they've got a really sort of snub nose and long sort of-
Just quickly, what's going on with your face?
*laughter*
I'm a firbolg
A what? A furwolg?
Ah!
Firbolg...
This rings a bell for you, make a nature check
Yeah, it does make a, for Adam it makes a
rings a bell
Who the fuck's Adam?
7 plus
I don't know you from Adam mate
(groan)
9
You feel like you should know something about these creatures
but all you remember is they are considered guardians of the forest and very secretive
I'm a firbolg, it's just what we look like
Why have you been lying to us?
Because I wanted to protect the forest, I wasn't lying about that
But why aren't you protecting the frogs?
The bullywugs and things?
Yeah
because they're destroying the forest, have you not been in the area?
Everything around them they just consume and devour
They don't know how to look after things
Right. Let's go back and kill those f***ing frogs
Now listen 'ere. Listen 'ere.
Jason Statham here.
Scottish, Scottish I don't know who that is?
They've got our...Scotland...they've got our shite and they've said to us
the only way we can get our shite back is if we kill the wolves
What are we supposed to do?
Alright, fine. I'll come, I'll level with you there
Thank you
makes sense.
I was telling the truth, the wolves have been gaining in number because there's a new alpha in town
Oh yeah, calm down. Don't break your own arm jerking yourself off
Since it seems like you're not to be dissuaded I will take you to the wolf den and you can talk to this new alpha
and if you can persuade him to leave, or if necessary kill him then the wolves should disperse
Thank you! Geez, that's all we wanted! Let's do it
As we follow you, I'm going to be making constant lying throws
Ah, that makes sense, I understand that
Oh man, I am going to stab you with a dagger
I'm not gonna say it, I'm not gonna say anything
Guys, can we let the firbolg talk? Good, good, good!
- But we both know what... - Ooooooooh...
Oooh, we all know
So - here we go - at this point, we'll use this as a sort of the path that you're on
and this is all trees on either side and can you just place yourselves please? Thank you
At this point as they turn to start leading the way you hear a *crrkkkshh*
tearing of the fabric of space Ah! Jesus Christ! Ah!
and a familiar portal opens ahead of you
-and through it -oh, is this that prick?
suddenly on the path you see a tall skinny elven man with white hair and steel blue eyes
wearing thick dark robes of the Temple of Carlabor stepping through with a putrid green
pseudodragon cradled in one hand
So is that your- your boi?
Firebolt to the face!!
Counterspell
Argh
Firebolt!
Counterspell!
That didn't work guys...
Yeah, it was a valid attempt
The thing is that this guy
FIREBOLT TO THE FACE! dammit
Counterspell
Magic missiles!
Do you know magic?
No
Yeah, you're not magic Bodger
Worth a shot though
Well, not really
Worth a shot
No, I mean, you could have done it. It's a pretty low level spell
He says: Baradun I didn't give you permission to leave. We weren't done talking
It's not surprising that I would find you in such a poxy insignificant little arsehole of a place
- It's not that bad! Hey hey hey - Hey, it's not that bad c'mon!
Honeywood is not that bad IT IS LOVELY!
Yeah yeah Honeywood is yeah I grew up in Honeywood
Yeah!
Shut. Up.
[tiny voice] I'm sorry
I'd do what he says
- he's incredibly powerful at the moment - I distract him with my mage hand
You should know that I have eyes and ears everywhere
There's no way to get word around faster than with the beasts of the forest
And you look up and see dozens of birds just perched on the branches ahead
- Firbolg, did you rat us out? - I shoot them all with my bow
No, I don't know what's going on? Who is this guy?
Hmmmmm
Lying check!
Murder!
Yeah! Murrrrderr...
I actually should thank you Baradun if I had to kill you in my laboratory and dispose of your body
it would have been, well it would have given me so much more work to cover it up before
the occult forensic team could snoop around
but out in the forest with all manner of beasties,
well it's only a shame that I couldn't get to you in time to save you
Of course I have no idea who any of you are, but
Bob!
I'm afraid you did just--
Your worst nightmare!
I'm afraid you did just hear me monologuing so you'll have to die as well
Er, I quickly turn to the firbolg: This guy's really really really bad, do you want to help us?
As he draws a long wand from his loose sleeves, she steps forward and says
Just be careful you've ensured you've tied up all the loose ends eh?
*gasp*
And he says
Aww, oh god dammit
Brave attempt at a bluff but I can see invisible creatures and I can see that there's no-one else here
She says no no, no invisible ones, they're all very visible
And she points up to the trees
as you said yourself, there's no better way to get around word than with the beasts of the forest
- He says to her - Oh, hang on,
D'ya know what I mean?
Those beasts, those beasts were
What're you doing?
Those beasts work for me, you think you have more power over these feeble-minded creatures
than the soon-to-be new high sorcerer of the Temple of Carlabor?
Says: I think so.
And she lifts up her staff
and dozens upon dozens of birds *whooph* swarm out, almost blocking out the sun
Yeah boi!
- Swarming down to her - Hang on, who's she?
Oh right!
Landing on her upheld staff
and she says: you see, I'm not just a firbolg, but I'm a druid as well
Nice
and the beasts of the forest speak with me
You're alright
You're alright by me, I'm glad we didn't murder you
Really sorry I called you a dirty bitch
- He says-- - I'm not, you still lied
He says, sorry, she says, I've got no doubt that you're powerful enough to strike us all down
without breaking a sweat but you can rest assured that the entirety of Azerim will know what you've said here
today before you even wake up tomorrow morning
so I suggest you leave here the way you came in
and if any of these fine gentlemen should meet an accidental end in the next few weeks
you'd better hope there's not even the smallest of eyes around to see it
Shame!!
He seems to be contemplating his options
What's his name again?
His name's Master Laethil
- Lehthil - Laethil
-Laaethil
And he turns and says--
[Bob Whispers] Master Prick
Fine! You're safe for today
but I know all of your faces now
and should any of you step within a mile of Gerdawn *smirk*
And with that last threat, looking at each of you in turn, making sure that he's memorised your faces
Ohhhhh, I don't like that!
I don't know if he saw my face cos I was going like this the whole time
Oh were you?! You didn't describe it
Is it too late to do this?
Wait, he doesn't know me does he?
Er...I'll just...cover that...
I want you to see my face.
I want you to memorise these eyes cos these,
these eyes are gonna be looking straight into yours when I kill you sunshine
Yeah, that's right. Because we are...the people...that will...
not be afraid of things that you...we're not afraid of you...yeah
Yeah, that's right! Me and Bodger - Yeah! - Me and Bodger comin' atcha
Actually, he already knows my face, so I might as well
Bob and Bodger! Yeah Bob and Bodger, comin' atcha!
Bob and Bodger, comin' atcha!
He turns. Opens a portal without even using his staff like Baradun does
Oh my god
- And he steps through it - And as he walks through I firebolt!
Counterspell
Without even looking
- And then-- - I fire a shortbow!
Oh, he's gone, he's gone
...that just went *shoom*
- It knits up
Small plot hole here - correct
We can still say bad things about him and get the word out hmm...
But he'll know that too though
But then he'll just come and kill us
but then, yeah? - But that was the whole reason he wasn't killing us
just now because of the bad word would get out
Yeah, so if we release the bad word, he's got nothing to lose
- Exactly, that's-- - he'll come back and just kill us
so he's got nothing to lose...
Your friend's not very smart is he?
No. No, he's a little bit--
He's really not
If we, like, that's our chip that we've got over him at the moment
He's saying "plot hole" in real life, like, "this is a plot hole"
I don't know--
This is not a phrase I say very often,
I just want to say thank you, what's your name?
Vanessa
- Hey, someone asked us to-- - Huh, I wasn't expecting that name
Ahhhhh! Oohhhhhh!
Ahhhhhh!
We had to say a thing to Vanessa!
Yeah! Um, Oh! The froggy, the frog guy!
What are you doing?
The f***ing frog guy!
Was it the frog guy? I'm pretty sure it was the frog guy
He said say, he said--
Say hi, to Vanessa
Say hi!
Frog guy says hi
What? When did? Who? How do you remember that? What?
Shut up Bodger
The frog guy! Hey Vanessa!
King frog, what was the king frog's name?
You met the king?
Ah, I remember it being a name that was a bit like, I'm not going to remember that one
- Yeah, Vanessa, King frog says hi! - Yeah he said if you see Vanessa,
he says hello
Yeah, that's nice
So do you have anything back from that or?
Um, no, I--
We're probably going to go back later on we could--
Any messages to pass along?
You can, tell him I hope he's doing well and um--
He was doing well throwing up a lot of our items
Yeah
How do you guys know each other?
Bad reflux
Um, I awakened him
You what?
Oh! You're the one who gave him his powers
Well, he doesn't have powers, I just gave him the ability to talk
So it's your fault? It's all your fault?
No! No no no, he was no. The bullywugs--
I thought you said they were destroying the forest?
They are
So it was your fault?
It's a long st-- he wasn't with the bullywugs when I awakened him, he was just a giant toad
Why is he stealing our shit?
- Well because that's what the wolves do - Because of the wolves!
Right, so you turned him into a bullywug?
No, I turned him, I awakened him, I gave him intelligence and the ability to speak
- So what? Because of the wolves he's stealing our shit? - He was a friend for a while, then we had a falling out
Yeah, because the wolves have taken over their territory
- Soooo... he's stealing our shit? - So they're moving closer to Honey--
So yeah, the natural thing to do is--
So they're moving closer to Honeywood and they're just stealing what's around
Ohhhhh!
If we don't want them stealing Honeywood's shit we need to give them somewhere else to go
It seems like your friend gets it
We're smart! Brains mate!
Plus 2 intelligence
It's, it's a loose connection at best
I've got intelligence too!
Am I, am I the only one? You seem to be kinda,
- I think you get what... - I kinda, I guess
Shall we move maybe? Cos-
And she continues on down the path
11! I've got 11 intelligence!
Took me a while, but I got there
Eleven? What does that even mean?
- Out of what? - What's our quest now?
Can you, we, for selfish reasons, want to help you resolve the frog-wolf scenario
Thank you, that would be appreciated
Don't get me wrong, it's for selfish reasons but we'll help
Thank you
So you're saying this as you're walking and talking, she's leading you
in a similar direction to the way that you were heading before, the ones that she directed
but off to the side a little
she's keeping you on the right path it seems
She'd better...
Or at least a different path
Hmm, watching you mate
I pull my dagger out
With the four of you keeping close watch she is not trying anything it seems
I still don't get the wolf...
What? I don't get any of this, what is going on?
Yeah, it's alright mate, you're not meant to because you're an idiot
You see?
...minds
- You know what? I'm gonna roll intimidation at you! - I can see why he's a blacksm-
What does that even mean?
7
What are you talking about?
Argghhhhh!
No effect.
Grrrrrr!
Well then, um, *whistles awkwardly*
At Bob!
What is happening? 10!
Aaarrrgggghhhhhh!
No effect.
- What is he doing? Is he-- - I have no idea...
- Are you ok? - I'm intimidating, I'm intimidating him
Are you feeling alright down in your gut?
They're intimidated by me now
Got problems?
I punch Bodger in the face
- There are a few leaves in the um-- - 17
Try it, try it
17.
Go. Try it.
I punch him in the face, 17.
If you're allowing PvP then that does hit
Go for it, try it
Alright, you punch him in the face, what's your strength modifier?
We don't have time, we don't have time!
So you do 2 points of damage to your face
*Crack!*
¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Two points of damage...
Take it off Oh.
Yeah! How did that go?
Bodger calm down! We need to go to the wolves
Guys guys guys, let's keep moving forward?
Yes
And progress...
Wassup?
...the quest
- I don't think I've - Shut up!
quite stressed how dangerous this wolf is
I'm not sure if you're quite up to the task
I reckon we're fine No no, we're up to the task
Right? Guys?! Will you help us Vanessa?
I will, I'll do my best yes
You guys gonna be good?
I make no promises
Urgh, you literally don't have to be here
Right!
Let's kill this wolf
Alright. Yeah!
Or talk to this wolf
I understand you're a vegetarian?
Yes I am but that doesn't have anything to do with anything
That's neither here nor there
I'm a pescatarian...
- You guys, you can't bond on that - Good idea I suppose
I don't eat- so I don't want to hurt the wolf either
but y'know... I will *smack* punch it a bit for pissing me off
Alright, so, we will just introduce you to the glade that she eventually takes you into
Move your dice please thank you
*whistling*
Right, I investigate the glade for skimming stones
This is - I like this one, it's a beautiful location - hell of a glade
Alright...
- Aw, there's a little tent there and- - Glade plug-ins
very nice
As she sort of steps up towards the top of this hill and crests over it a little, she goes:
yeah, he's definitely in
Um, listen - she comes back down the hill
He doesn't know what I really look like, um I've kinda managed to make a bit of bonding over time
um, by looking a little different
So you're not going to freak out if I change, are you?
I mean, couldn't be worse
Well we've seen you as three different things already so go on
Yeah, but this one's different, those are illusions that I can do, this one is actually me changing
Well ok, that's fine, we have seen some shit, we've been through a lot, we've been through a bit
- We went to hell once! - Stop talking about it and just do it
We went to hell once, that was crazy!
Yeah
Honestly, I grabbed a giant toad tongue earlier
Yeah, yeah
My hand comes off!
Nobody asked you to do that
Alright then.
And as she says this you see the face elongate, the ears go from like pointed cow ears up to sharp wolf-like ears
she grows even more hairy on the snout, around the mouth and then long legs appear
and she turns into a gigantic direwolf
ARGGGHHH! AAARRRGGGHH! OH MY GOD!
AARRGGHHH! LOOK AT ITS FACE! AAAAAAHH! CHRIST!
I can hear the bones snapping! Ewwww
*wolf snarl*
Oh, she can't talk
Then she-
Let's follow wolf in this
- Up the hill - Yeah, follow her
As you crest over the top of this hill
Alright then, following the wolf then eh
You get to the top of this hill, you see--
Good work!
You see a whole bunch of wolves, a whole bunch of wolves just dotted around the place
Um - Oh God - and as the light is fading, some sort of twilight time of day
you can see that through the shadows and the darkness of these trees over here
you see the very faint glinting of some yellow pale eyes
A lot more wolves...
And I suppose that's where we'll leave it...
*Growl* You haven't brought me live prey in a while
Ooohhh boy...
Okay guys, I have a plan
You guys go down there and I'll stay up here..........
I think these are the wolves...that the frog people
...were talking about Oh? Do you think so??
Well if you're here to talk come down and talk
First things first. I want my helmet back
He doesn't have your helmet
I don't care
21!
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