原创翻译 双语字幕
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翻译 伊森泽生 冰岛豆腐
翻译 白夜君 carolgcz
时间轴 无关风粤
校对 伊森泽生
后期 渔夫
总监 苏葵
2019年叉子节 Fork Fest 2019.
有那么片刻 我都忘了我身在何方了 For a moment I almost forgot where I was.
依然是地狱 Still hell.
你竟然对别人按喇叭了 You honked at someone?
一个最高时速是步行速度的小镇 消息传得可真快 News travels fast for a town whose speed limit is mosey.
在康利叉镇 我们是不按喇叭的 We don't honk in Conley Fork.
除非是要把一头牛从路上吓走 Unless you're trying to scare a cow off the road.
或者你的朋友开着车睡着了 Or if your buddy's asleep at the wheel
你想轻轻地把他唤醒 and you're trying to gently wake him up.
我是纽约来的 Well, I am from New York,
按喇叭是我做过的最人畜无害的事了 and honking is the least offensive thing that I do.
好了 拿出乐谱来 Come on, take your music.
容我说句话 作为传教士 If I may. As a missionary,
我发现要想被别人接纳 最快的方法 I found the quickest way to gain acceptance
就是适应当地的风俗人情 is by adopting local customs.
-加油 野猫队 -加油 - Go Wildcats! - Go!
我当年成为全国最出色的音乐系系主任 I became head of one of the best music departments in the country
可没有在意过要被接纳 without caring about being accepted.
为何现在要开始在意 Why start now?
因为现在你生活在小镇上 'Cause now you live in a small town.
你会需要这些人 You're gonna need this people.
你的好名声就是你的通用货币 And your good reputation is your currency.
一旦失去 就再也找不回来了 Once you lose it, you can't get it back,
就跟骨盆底一样 just like your pelvic floor.
我的骨盆底没问题 依然很强健 Not mine. She's still sturdy.
我的确会在意 I do care about my reputation
我在知识界和上流社会的名声 among people of intellect and refinement...
在这里不会 so, not here.
我们也很高端大气上档次啊 We're sophisticated.
叉子节是展现本地才艺的大舞台 And Fork Fest is a hot bed of local talent.
我们的唱诗班向来都是人民群众的最爱 And our choir is always a crowd favorite.
我们选择的歌曲总是能把他们震撼得五体投地 We always knock their socks off with our music selection.
除非本地的乔·科克尔翻唱乐队也在场 I mean, unless the local Joe Cocker cover band is there,
叫「假科克尔」乐队 Faux Cocker.
去年 我们唱了一首有关上帝之爱的歌曲 Last year, we sang a song about God's love,
MC哈默的《你触碰不到我》 MC Hammer's "You Can't Touch This."
简直棒极了 And it was awesome.
你们对于"棒极了"的定义跟我不一样 Your definition of awesome is different from mine.
你们的定义是错的 And yours is wrong.
不 叉子节真的很棒 No, Fork Fest is awesome.
我们总是会参加吃馅饼比赛 We always do the pie-eating contest.
但今年或许不会 But maybe not this year
因为我父母离婚了 because of the divorce.
不 我们当然会参加的 Oh, no, of course, we will.
我们还是一家人 并且我们都喜欢吃馅饼 We're still a family, and we all still love pie.
是啊 当然了 Yeah, we sure do.
我从九年级的那节体育课就开始爱上馅饼了 I mean, I've loved pie since ninth grade gym class.
所以我发了婚誓 要跟馅饼相爱到老 That's why I made a vow to pie.
但可悲的是 馅饼放弃了我 But sadly, pie gave up on me
因为我把馅饼的信用卡评分搞成了个位数 when I got pie's credit score into the single digits.
我还对大胡桃过敏 I'm also allergic to pecan.
什么 What?
-我身上会起疹子 -我们懂了 - I get a rash- - We got it.
-打住 -韦恩 - Stop it. - Wayne.
完美和声 第一季 第二集
如果我们的离婚 I'm gonna feel so guilty
毁掉了卡什的叉子节体验 我会很愧疚的 if this divorce ruins Fork Fest for Cash.
这向来都是一年当中最快乐的时光 It's always just been the most wonderful time of the year.
是啊 因为圣诞节缺少了 Of course, because Christmas lacks
油炸食物和动物农耕令人无法抗拒的结合 that irresistible combination of fried food and animal husbandry.
我和韦恩的第一个吻就是在那个时候发生的 It's where Wayne and I had our first kiss.
我们也是在节庆时订的婚 We got engaged there.
卡什就是个叉子宝宝 Cash is a Fork baby.
简直令人难以置信 It's unbelievable.
把路就这么堵起来 Blocking the middle of the road.
你急什么啊 Why are you in such a rush?
因为我要错过... 'Cause I'm missing...
没什么 不过还是很烦人 nothing, but still.
这太荒唐了 This is ridiculous.
亚瑟 你敢按 我们才谈过这个问题 Arthur, don't you dare. We just talked about this.
我不会按喇叭的 I'm not gonna honk the horn.
这里还有人等着呢 People are waiting here!
你是疯了吗 Are you crazy?
自从我妻子去世后 我就很抑郁 I'm depressed since my wife just died.
我不知道在你看来这算不算有精神病 I'm not sure if that falls under your definition of mental illness.
那可是杰瑞·布莱文斯 That's Jerry Blevins.
哪个是杰瑞·布莱文斯 Which one is Jerry Blevins?
是那个长着大胡子 开着小货车的人 The one with the beard and the truck,
还是那个开着小货车 长着大胡子的人 or the one with the truck and the beard?
杰瑞负责排叉子节的节目出场顺序 Jerry schedules the entertainment at Fork Fest,
如果他对我们不满 and if we get on his bad side,
就会给我们安排一个烂时间档 he'll give us a crummy time slot.
他又不知道我是谁 Well, he doesn't know who I am,
也不知道我跟唱诗班的关系 or that I'm connected with the choir.
不 你不明白 No, you don't get it.
这里任何事都会成为茶余饭后的谈资 Nothing goes un-talked-about here.
镇上就你这一辆外来车 You got the only foreign car in town,
所有人都知道这车属于那个愤怒的北方佬 and everybody knows it belongs to the angry Yankee
管着2号第一教堂的唱诗班 who runs Second First's choir.
他们称我们是「北佬投机者」唱诗班 They call us the carpetbagger choir.
不 应该是北佬投机者和唱诗班 No, it should be the carpetbagger and the choir.
我的头衔应该在前面 I get first billing.
-终于好了 -天呐 - Oh, finally. - Oh, God.
我就说吧 I told you so.
杰瑞给我们安排的时间档和拖拉机拖拽比赛重合 Jerry gave us a time slot up against a tractor pull.
令我颇为绝望的是 It's devastating to me
你们竟然以为我会明白那是什么意思 that you would expect me to know what that means.
谁会不知道拖拉机拖拽比赛是什么 Who doesn't know what a tractor pull is?
我就不... I do not--
好吧 我懂了 我懂了 Okay, okay. I get it, I get it.
的确不够理想 It's less than ideal.
不够理想 Less than ideal?
他们根本就听不见我们唱歌 They're not gonna be able to hear us.
我本来希望通过即兴的节奏吸引年轻新潮的成员 My hopes of attracting hip, young members to the church
加入教会 现在这希望泡汤了 with our happening beats are dashed.
他们生气 我就生气 When they're mad, I'm mad.
-你们很生气 没错吧 -没错 - You guys are mad, right? - Yeah.
你做错了事 You made it wrong,
现在你必须纠正 and now you gotta make it right.
我给杰瑞打个电话 I'll call Jerry.
他是有电话的 对吧 He does have a phone, doesn't he?
我们又不是乡巴佬 亚瑟 We're not a bunch of bumpkins, Arthur.
他当然有电话 Of course, he has a phone.
-他没有电话 -天呐 - He doesn't have a phone. - Oh, my God.
亚瑟 这里是南方 Arthur, this is the south.
你不能直接打电话找人说事 You can't just call people on the phone.
你必须跟他们面对面地谈 You gotta meet with them face to face.
如果你想修复跟杰瑞的关系 If you want to make it right with Jerry,
就必须按照我们的方法来 you're gonna have to do it our way.
凭借智慧 风度和优雅 With tact and grace and elegance.
没错 给他做一份砂锅面 Yes, make him a noodle casserole.
太对了 Ooh. Yes.
我的秘密配方是加入人造黄油 My secret ingredient is margarine.
-人造黄油吗 -我就是这么说的 人造黄油 - Margarine? - That's what I said, margarine.
-人造黄油 -老天呐 - Margarine. - Jesus.
月虹乳制品店
你还记得高中时跟你结下梁子的女孩吗 You know that girl you had beef with in high school?
-斯黛芬妮 -不是 - Stephanie. - No.
-坦娅 -不是 - Tanya? - No.
-大个子坦娅 -不是 - Tall Tanya? - No.
姑娘 或许问题在你身上 Girl, maybe you were the problem.
等等 你是说... Oh, wait, you mean...
凯米·贝尔 Kimmy Bell!
吉妮 Ginny!
我总是忘记你还在这里工作 I always forget you still work here.
人生中有一件事多年不变 感觉真好 It's so nice that you can keep some things in your life consistent.
谢谢你的关心啊 Oh, it's so kind of you to be concerned.
听说你离婚了 So the divorce...
是怎么回事啊 是你的错吗 what happened? Was it your fault?
还是他的错 或者是孩子的错 Was it his fault? Was it the kid's fault?
这是你的食物 凯米 Here's your food, Kimmy.
我多加了些粗燕麦粉 给你妈享用 And I put some extra grits in there for your mama
以及她的那条狗 and that little dog of hers
那条跟她长得几乎一模一样的狗 she bears a striking resemblance to.
谢谢你了啊 Thank you.
保佑你的心 Bless your heart.
保佑她的那颗黑心 Bless her farming heart.
你知道这还只是个开始 对吧 You know that's just the start, right?
叉子节将是你们分开后 Fork Fest will be your first
你的首次公开亮相 public appearance since the breakup.
到时候大家肯定都会问你这事 It's all anyone is gonna be asking you about.
我不会回应的 I just won't answer.
那只会让事情变得更糟 That's only gonna make it worse.
你知道当年凯斯去世后 Did you know after Keith died,
镇上有传言说是我杀了他吗 a rumor went around town that I murdered him?
什么 不 当真吗 What? No. Really?
你死去的丈夫凯斯 Your dead husband Keith?
作为女人 我认识到 I learned, as a woman,
你必须抢先控制舆论 you have to control the narrative.
要么你主动讲出事实 要么别人就会胡编乱造 Either you tell the story, or people make up their own.
好了 我没办法告诉别人 Okay, listen, I can't exactly tell people
他总是表现得像我的二胎 that he often felt like a second child,
并且把我们终身的积蓄 and spent our entire life savings
都浪费在了一个愚蠢的商业点子上 on an idiotic business idea.
豆袋裤 Beanbag pants.
豆袋裤是个什么鬼 What's a beanbag pant?
简直太离谱了 对吧 I mean, really. Right?
那真是个糟糕透顶的点子 That's a terrible idea.
但还是要说出事实 But it's still the truth.
然后呢 那会影响到卡什的 So? It'll get back to Cash.
我绝不会对他的父亲有任何负面评价 And I am not saying one negative thing about his father,
那是最终决定 and that is final.
或许你应该担心的是你自己的名声 Maybe you should worry about your own reputation,
因为名声一旦毁了 就无法挽救了 'cause once it's gone, you can't get it back.
就当是我这个女杀人犯给你的忠告吧 Take is from a murderess.
什么 才不会 没人这么认为 What, no? Nobody thinks that.
我们读书俱乐部的人从不谈论这事 We never talk about it at book club.
月虹乳制品店
卡什和我明天早上10点去接你 So Cash and I are gonna pick up tomorrow morning
去参加叉子节 for Fork Fest at 10 A.M.
好的 不过别迟到了 Okay, but don't be late.
我们得赶在金鱼死掉前 先参加乒乓球比赛 We gotta get to the ping-pong game before all the goldfish die.
我们要先说好 And just so we're on the same page,
不准谈论我们分开的事 no talking about the breakup.
肯定会有很多人问 There's gonna be a lot of people asking,
我希望我们能统一战线 and I want to be a united front.
如果你真的想确保不出问题 You really want to be on the safe side,
为何我们不继续在一起呢 why don't we stay together?
注意 杰瑞刚刚停车了 Okay, okay, Jerry just pulled up.
记住 Now remember,
跟他形成私人的情感联系 make a personal connection with him.
没错 但别太私密了 Yeah, but not too personal.
要轻松愉快一点 Have fun with it. Keep it light.
但不必害怕使用「死去的老婆」这一招 But don't be afraid to play the dead wife card.
以轻松快乐的方式 In a fun, light way.
问他关于他的儿子杰森的事 Ask about his son Jason.
不过别提起他儿子杰伦 But not his son Jalen.
他搬去加州了 杰瑞讨厌加州 He moved to California, and Jerry hates California.
但他喜欢加州披萨厨房 But he loves California Pizza Kitchen.
这是保持轻松的范例 That's an example of keeping it light.
还真是那个开小货车的大胡子 Oh, it is the guy with the beard and the truck.
然后鸭子说 "你在逗我吗" And the duck said, "What, are you kidding me?
"我不是犹太洁食" "I'm not kosher."
我该走了 Well, I should get going.
猪可不会自己喂食 I reckon them hogs ain't gonna feed themselves.
除非它们能给自己喂正宗的 Well, unless they could feed themselves the original
加州披萨厨房的烧烤鸡排沙拉 barbecue chicken chop salad form California Pizza Kitchen.
那是我最爱的沙拉 That's my favorite salad.
几乎没有蔬菜 Hardly an vegetables.
你说得太对了 You got that right.
-杰瑞 跟你交流太开心了 -是啊 - Oh, Jerry, this was great. - Yeah.
你完全没有别人说的那么差劲 You know, you ain't nearly as bad everybody says you are.
谢谢 聊天愉快 I appreciate it. Nice talking to you.
-你也是 -好了 兄弟 - Yeah, you, too. - Okay, buddy.
洗手液 不是吧你 Hand sanitizer? Really?
当然 有何不可 Yeah, of course. Why not?
你这是在暗示他脏 You implied he was dirty.
他是养猪的 直接从农场赶来的 He's a hog farmer who came here straight from work.
洗手液不是侮辱 是必要的卫生措施 Hand sanitizer isn't an insult. It's a medical necessity.
每个人都能把我恶心吐 但我有良好的家教 Everybody grosses me out, but I was raised properly.
我和杰瑞聊得很开心 我们笑了 I had a great talk with Jerry. We laughed.
我们发现我们有共同点 We found out we had things in common.
我敢说到了今晚 就会有更新版的时间安排 I'll bet by tonight, we'll have an updated lineup.
老天 Oh, Jesus.
我们都被除名了 We been dropped from the lineup altogether.
2019叉子节
这是我们的唱诗班有史以来第一次不能表演 First time we won't be performing in the history of our choir.
杰瑞心胸狭隘 我... Jerry is petty in a way I...
我真的很佩服 I really admire.
那我们就有更多时间参加 That'll leave more time for, what,
套马铃薯袋奔跑比赛 potato-sack racing
以及用机器拖拽其他机器的比赛 and pulling machinery with other machinery.
如果我们不表演 Well, if we're not performing,
你也就没有去的必要了 there's no reason for you to come.
经过这样精心的准备 我是不会错过的 Well, I'm not gonna miss it after this buildup.
我们不欢迎你参加叉子节 We don't want you to come to Fork Fest.
你在这个小镇声名狼藉 Your reputation is shot in this town,
我们不能被人看到和你一起公开出现 所以... and we can't afford to be seen with you in public, so...
你是团体里的老好人 And you're the nice one.
是啊 他们就是这样逼我 Yeah, that's how they bullied me
来通知你这个决定的 into being the one to tell you.
2019叉子节 欢迎
♪我们要唱一首歌♪ ♪ We will sing one song ♪
♪为了我的家乡肯塔基♪ ♪ For my old Kentucky home ♪
♪遥远的家乡♪ ♪ Far away ♪
大家好 欢迎参加2019叉子节 Hello, everybody, welcome to Fork Fest 2019!
这注定将成为史上最棒的一次叉子节 This is fixing to be the best Fork Fest yet.
我希望你们一直玩到天黑黑 Now I want you to play till the cows come home...
吃饱喝足 Eat till you're as full as a tick...
庆祝到筋疲力竭 And celebrate till you're worn flat out.
伊诺赢得了最光滑皮毛称号 Enoch won glossiest coat!
好样的 伊诺 Good job, Enoch.
现在登上主舞台的是 Now coming to our main stage
康利叉镇最火的家庭踢踏舞舞团 is Conley Fork's most popular family clog troupe,
「谁把踢踏舞放了出来」 Who Let the Clogs Out!
改自"谁把狗放了出来"
查伯兰兹2号第一教堂 柠檬水
你和韦恩的事我很遗憾 So sorry about you and Wayne.
没必要觉得遗憾 No need to be sorry.
韦恩仍然是我最好的朋友 Wayne's still my best friend.
他人太好了 He's just too great of a guy
没那么容易从我的生活里逃走 to let out of my life that easily.
那到底是出了什么事 So then what happened?
事实是韦恩... The truth is Wayne--
事实是韦恩是个很棒的父亲 The truth is Wayne is a wonderful father.
-对吗 卡什 -是啊 当然 - Right, Cash? - Sure. Yeah.
姑娘 我记得你和韦恩交往的时候 Girl, I remember when you and Wayne were dating,
他弄坏了你爸爸的货车 and he wrecked your daddy's truck.
我当时就知道他不适合结婚 I knew then he wasn't the marrying type.
实际上 就是那天晚上 Well, actually, that's the night
我知道我想嫁给他 I knew I wanted to marry him.
我侄女的老公出轨了 My niece's husband cheated on her...
对象是他的足科医生 with his podiatrist.
那我走运了 Oh, well, lucky for me,
韦恩有一颗金子般的心和一双好脚 Wayne has a heart of gold, and really great feet.
我找不到比他更好的丈夫了 I couldn't have made a better choice for a husband.
我差点就用他的名字给这家伙取名了 I almost named this one after him,
但我不希望他被嘲跟歌手李尔·韦恩同名 but I didn't want him to deal with all the Lil Wayne jokes.
你处理这事的方式很高尚 The way you're handling all this is very noble,
但他估计不会这么维护你 but I'm not sure he would do the same for you,
毕竟你临产的时候 他还让你开车 considering when you were in labor, he made you drive.
他当时醉了 Oh, he was drunk.
你好啊 韦恩 我给你买了叉子热狗 Hey, Wayne. I got you a hot dog on a fork.
你太好了 Oh, that's mighty kind of you.
吃叉子热狗就得配上叉子丽塔鸡尾酒 You can't have a hotdog on a fork without a Forkarita.
我不知道我做了什么 值得你们对我这么好 Can't say I know what I did to deserve all this,
但我很喜欢 but I like it,
我还喜欢你们两个统一的长袖牛仔衬衫 and I like your matching long shirt denim things.
你有一颗金子般的心 You have a heart of gold.
吉妮却看不到 她真是个傻瓜 And the fact that Ginny didn't see that makes her a fool.
我确实有颗善良的心 不是吗 I do have a good heart, don't I?
胸肌也不错 Nice pecs, too.
天啊 我看起来一定很饿 My God, I must look hungry.
早就该知道吉妮不像她表现出来的那么好 Should've known that Ginny is not the nice person she pretends to be.
毕竟她是那个女杀人犯的朋友 After all, she is friends with that murderess.
更糟的是 Worse...
她跟那个按喇叭的美国佬也是朋友 she's friends with that honking Yankee.
南方礼仪的天才指南
别担心 亚瑟 我能开门 Don't worry, Arthur. It's open.
幸亏我没赤身裸体 You're lucky I'm not naked.
你确定你想被人看到和我在一起吗 You sure you want to be seen with me?
我不会毁了你的名声吗 I'm not gonna destroy your reputation?
我压根没想这事 Didn't even cross my mind.
你得跟我说说关于这个小镇的一切 You're gonna have to spell this town out for me.
我知道送砂锅面的意思是"对不起" I know a noodle casserole means I'm sorry.
蛋糕上有一个饥饿的小妖精是什么意思 What does a cake with a hungry leprechaun on it mean?
意思是我赢了步态舞比赛 It means I won this in a cakewalk,
并且我觉得你可能饿了 and I thought you might be hungry.
不 我不饿 No, I'm not hungry.
这位是尤斯塔斯·康利 This is Eustace Conley,
康利叉镇的创立者 founder of Conley Fork.
他真好吃 He's delicious.
故事是这样的 The story goes,
尤斯塔斯·康利来到一个交叉路口 Eustace Conley came to a fork in the road.
他走了很长的路 已经很累了 He was so exhausted from his already long journey,
他不知道该走哪条路 he couldn't decide which way to go,
所以他做了他唯一能想到的事 so he did the only thing he could think to do.
什么事 Which was?
他扭头往回走 He turned back.
但出人意料的是 当他转过身之后 Now wouldn't you know, when he turned,
他撞上了一头凶猛的老黑熊 he was face to face with a mean, old black bear.
尤斯塔斯害怕极了 Now Eustace was terrified,
所以他做了他唯一能想到的事 so he did the only thing he could think to do.
他又转过身往回走吗 He turned back again?
他举起了拳头 准备战斗 He put up his fists to fight.
"嘿 懦夫" 他大喊着 "Hey, coward," He yelled.
"我猜你肯定想吃我一拳" I bet you want a piece of this.
出人意料的是 尽管是虚张声势 Well, wouldn't you know, despite is bravado,
熊还是对尤斯塔斯发起了进攻 the bear charged Eustace anyway.
所以尤斯塔斯做了他唯一能想到的事 So Eustace did the only thing he could think to do.
我猜不到了 I don't have clue.
尤斯塔斯太难猜了 Eustace is proving unpredictable.
他躺下装死了 He laid down and played dead.
熊把他虐了个半死 但还是留下了他的小命 The bear mauled half of him, but kept him alive.
由于身上多了很多可怕的伤口 Now on account of his horrific wounds,
尤斯塔斯没法继续走下去了 Eustace was unable to travel,
所以他做了他唯一能想到的事 so he did the only thing he could think to do.
他在这个叫做"康利叉"的地方安营扎寨了 He made camp in this very place we call Conley Fork.
谢谢你的蛋糕 Well, thank you for the cake.
你就是尤斯塔斯·康利 You are Eustace Conley.
熊就是你的坏名声 The bear is your bad reputation,
唱诗班就是你的小毛驴 and the choir is your little donkey.
我的小什么 My little what?
熊吃了尤斯塔斯的毛驴 The bear ate Eustace's donkey.
我忘了提这点吗 Did I leave that out?
牧师 我在努力弄明白这些规矩 Rev, I'm trying to figure out the rules,
但这些人已经对我下定论了 but these people have already made up their mind about me.
不管我做什么 他们都不会接纳我的 No matter what I do, they're not gonna accept me.
如果其他办法都不管用 When all else fails,
向他们展示你是他们的一员 show that you're one of them.
那是永远不可能的 That's never gonna happen.
欢迎来到2019年吃馅饼大赛 Welcome to the 2019 pie-eating contest.
看到了吗 我们全家一起参加吃馅饼大赛 See? We're all doing the pie-eating contest together.
从去年开始 什么都没变 Nothing's changed since last year.
-爸爸穿了件衬衫 -不是我想穿的 - Dad's wearing a shirt. - Not by choice, buddy.
他们改了规则 They changed the rules.
好了 第一个吃完馅饼的人获胜 All right--first one to finish their pie wins.
不能用手 不能用吸管 不能吐出来 No hands, no straws, no vomiting!
韦恩虽然很蠢 但却很性感 Wayne's as dumb as he is smoking hot.
我一直以为他会是导致他们的婚姻破裂的人 I always assumed he was the one who screwed things up with her.
-就是啊 -但她对他的评价都是好话 - Yeah. - But she can't say enough nice things about him.
-因为罪恶感 -什么罪恶感 - It's guilt. - Guilt for what?
这还不明显吗 吉妮背着韦恩出轨了 Isn't it obvious? Ginny cheated on Wayne.
真的吗 这就是他离开她的原因吗 Really? Is that why he left her?
-他们觉得我出轨了 -不是啦 - They think I cheated on you? - No...
最后一条规则 不许作弊[出轨]Okay, one last rule. No cheating.
你听到了吗 吉妮 Did you hear that, Ginny?
谁准备好吃馅饼了 Now who's ready for some pie?
你不打算维护我一下吗 Aren't you gonna defend me?
我准备好吃馅饼了 I'm ready for some pie!
你为什么不站出来说句话 Why didn't you say something?
你叫我什么都别说的 You told me not to say anything.
但你知道我没有背着你出轨 But you know I didn't cheat on you.
-我没说你出轨啊 -你也没说我没出轨 - I never said you did. - Well you didn't say I didn't.
-所以呢 -所以 - So? - So?
-是啊 所以呢 -所以现在显得我是坏人 - Yeah, so? - So, I look like the bad guy.
-毕竟... -毕竟什么 - Well... - Well, what?
我不是那个离开的人 I'm not the one who left.
你这话什么意思 What does that mean?
也许这一次 你就是坏人 Maybe just this once, you are the bad guy.
赢家诞生了 And we have a winner!
你被取消资格了 And that's a disqualification.
赢家是吉妮 I guess the winner is Ginny.
常言道 江山易改 本性难移 They say a leopard doesn't change her spots.
作弊[出轨]Cheater.
他们为什么这么叫你 妈 Why are they calling you that, Mom?
你要去哪里 Where are you going?
亚瑟 你怎么会来这里 Arthur, what are you doing here?
只是想融入大家 表明我不是一个势利小人 Just--I'm trying to fit in, show I'm not a snob.
放弃吧 没这必要了 Well, give up. There's no point.
他们一旦对你这个人下了定论 Once they make their mind up about you,
就不会再改变了 they'll never change it.
-你没事吧 -这么说吧 - You okay? - Let's just say that
现在我的名声比你的更加深陷泥潭 my reputation is more in the mud than yours.
有时候你就得勇敢地去泥潭里打滚才行 Well sometimes you just gotta embrace being in the mud.
让开 Make way.
本北方佬想试一把 This Yankee wants a turn.
什么情况啊 What is happening?
我的猪正在跟你们的混蛋北方佬竞技呢 My pigs is giving your jerk Yankee a run for his money.
过来 过来 Come here. Come here.
加油 亚瑟 你行的 加油 Come on, Arthur. You got this--let's go!
你可以的 You got this!
加油 亚瑟 加油 亚瑟 Go, Arthur! Go Arthur!
上啊 上啊 上啊 亚瑟 Go, go, go--go, Arthur!
加油 亚瑟 你不可以放弃 Come on, Arthur-- you can't quit.
为什么不能 尤斯塔斯·康利就放弃了 Why not? Eustace Conley was a quitter.
看来他抓到了 各位 Well, looks like he did it, folks.
你最好在开怀大笑 琴 You better be laughing at this, Jean.
你觉得我会握你那脏手吗 You think I'm gonna shake that filthy hand?
洗手液也洗不掉这个味儿 是吧 Hand sanitizer's not gonna get the smell off that, is it?
是的 No.
但我敬你是个不怕脏的人 But I respect a man who's not afraid to get dirty.
如果6点你们还在 我们需要一场表演 We could use an act at six, if your group is still here.
我们或许能做到 We might be able to do that.
我很开心 I'm happy!
这件衬衫只能干洗 This blouse is dry-clean only.
♪我已归来 就像我未曾离去♪ ♪ You know I am back like I never left ♪
♪我未曾离去♪ ♪ I never left ♪
♪追逐梦想 我从未睡去♪ ♪ Been chasing dreams but I never slept ♪
♪那男孩有精彩的话要说 好吧 好吧♪ ♪ Whoo, that boy got bars, okay, okay ♪
♪我的确是♪ ♪ Yes I do ♪
♪我说阿门 哈利路亚 让我作证♪ ♪ I said amen and hallelujah, let me testify too ♪
♪又一天清晨 清晨♪ ♪ Another morning, a morning ♪
♪别让自我挡住去路♪ ♪ Don't let self get in my way ♪
♪我能呼吸 我有信仰♪ ♪ I got my breath, I got my faith ♪
♪我记得我为何而来♪ ♪ And I remember why I came ♪
♪我感到荣耀无比 荣耀无比♪ ♪ I feel glorious, glorious ♪
♪找到机会 (重新开始)♪ ♪ Got a chance... (To start again) ♪
♪我为此♪ ♪ I was... ♪
♪而生 为此而生♪ ♪ Born for this, born for this ♪
♪我就是这样 我怎能忘记♪ ♪ It's who I am... How could I forget? ♪
♪我走过最黑的夜♪ ♪ I made it through the darkest part of the night ♪
♪此刻我迎着日出♪ ♪ And now I see the sunrise ♪
♪我感到荣耀无比 荣耀无比♪ ♪ Now I feel glorious, glorious ♪
抱歉 抱歉 Sorry, sorry, sorry.
很抱歉打断大家 I'm sorry for the interruption, uh...
我就想澄清一件事 I just...I need to set the record straight.
吉妮没有出轨 Ginny never cheated on me.
她永远都不会这么做 She'd never do that.
因为 'Cause...
她是我遇到过的最好的人 she's the best person I ever met.
我从没离开过她 是她离开了我 And I never left her-- she left me, which...
这么做或许是对的 was probably the right choice,
但是我的双臂粗壮 even though my arms are so jacked,
都撑破了我的衬衫袖子 they blew the sleeves off my shirt and...
我床上功夫一级棒 I'm super great in bed.
韦恩 Wayne!
抱歉让你听到这些 儿子 Oh--hey, sorry you had to hear that, son.
虽然内心深处我觉得你早已知道 Even though deep down I feel like you already knew.
好了 All right.
好了 继续吧 Yeah. All right.
♪我觉得 荣耀无比 荣耀无比♪ ♪ I feel... Glorious, glorious ♪
♪找到机会 重新开始♪ ♪ Got a chance...to start again ♪
♪我为此♪ ♪ I was... ♪
♪而生 为此而生♪ ♪ Born for this, born for this ♪
♪我就是这样 我怎能忘记♪ ♪ It's who I am How could I forget? ♪
♪我走过最黑的夜♪ ♪ I made it through the darkest part of the night ♪
♪此刻我迎着日出♪ ♪ And now I see the sunrise ♪
♪现在我感到♪ ♪ Now I feel... ♪
♪荣耀无比 荣耀无比♪ ♪ Glorious, glorious ♪
♪我感到 荣耀无比 荣耀无比♪ ♪ I feel... Glorious, glorious ♪
叉子节竟然还不错呢 Fork Fest wasn't half bad.
亚瑟帮我赢到这把大砍刀 Arthur helped me win this machete.
这是我的... This is my, uh...
第三杯叉子丽塔鸡尾酒 my third Forkarita.
我的判断力可能出现了问题 My judgment may be a little impaired.
小心点 走吧 小子 Uh, whoa--come on, bud.
我们再过去一趟 Let's go back and ...
看看他们愿不愿意用这个换那个无人机 see if they'll trade this in for that drone.
他们不会拒绝的 这可是大砍刀 I mean, they can't say no. We got a machete!
-没错 -他玩得真开心 - Yeah! - He had the best day.
那是当然啦 Well, of course he did.
毕竟他妈赢了吃馅饼比赛 His mama won the pie-eating contest.
是啊 回想起来 Yeah, looking back,
我早餐吃了四到六个热狗 真是失算 those four to six hot dogs I had for breakfast were a bad idea.
吉妮 我知道我是个不称职的丈夫 但是... Ginny, I know I was a crap husband, but...
接下来我会努力当个称职的前夫 I'm gonna try not to be a crap ex-husband.
我很感激你这样 I appreciate that.
我知道你要做出改变不容易 I know change is not easy for you.
好吧 All right.
你要干什么 What are you doing?
我就想给你一个法式舌吻 I was going to French you.
韦恩 Wayne!
-我的天 -好吧 不 对不起 - Oh, my God. - Yeah, no--I'm sorry.
-我向你道歉 -真恶心人 - I apologize for that. - That's disgusting.
我刚刚一时意乱情迷 I got caught up in the moment.
滚出去 Get out of here.
-我努力对你友好 -好吧 上帝保佑 - Ew, I try to be nice to you... - Okay, God bless.
你竟然以为我想亲你 And you think I wanna kiss you?
前任之间亲一下怎么啦 What's wrong with a little kiss between exes?