02 Urban Legends Final Cut - Horror 2000 English
Afraid of flying?
You shouldn't be.
It's really safe. Except in that movie.
They had this creature on the wing of the plane.
Heard they based that on a true story.
Planes crash all the time.
They cover it up and buy off the witnesses.
Where the hell are the flight attendants?
It's all based on the aerodynamics of hydrometeorology.
Ever heard of the Mile High Club?
Come on.
He's sick.
Come on.
I don't know if we should do this.
You think?
No. We should.
Get over here!
"You're going down."
I sure am, baby.
No, Rob! Stop!
What the fuck's going on?
Let's go! Go!
Oh, God!
Mayday! Mayday!
Cut!
Guys! When I say "cut," that means stop!
Thank you.
Sandra, you're not supposed to fly the plane.
Jesus!
Vanessa.
Thanks for getting the boom in the shot again. Yeah, you, too.
Poor Sandra.
He whines like a real director.
I'm sorry. You know, who are we kidding?
She's no Jamie Lee Curtis, right? But she'll get better.
Young man, that woman's acting would be wretched in a porno film.
He's right. I've seen her in them. She's really bad.
- I thought there was... - Shut up, Scrote.
Get me some coffee.
Let's try something new this time.
Why don't you get it right or I'll kill you!
Okay?
Let's try it again. Back to one.
Take 41.
Effects up.
Effects up!
- Roll sound. - Soundspeed.
- Roll camera. - Rolling.
Scene 16, Take 41.
Fucking action.
As chairman of the film department...
I want to wish you all the best as you return for the spring semester...
and remind you that yours is the honour and the privilege to attend...
the greatest film school that ever existed.
So, let's try and not burn the place down.
Mr. Solomon?
Did everyone have a nice holiday?
I'd like to personally welcome Melvin Zarcoff...
who joins us after a distinguished Hollywood career.
Welcome.
Mr. Zarcoff is a veteran of over 50 films...
$10 he croaks before the end of the semester.
You don't have $10. You spent it on your shitty movie.
- A little courtesy? - Shut the fuck up.
You're so mean.
Clive LaVey has a Super-8 course...
Action!
Which is required before you go on to...
Isn't he the one that did Vampire Cheerleaders?
No, that was Nick LaVey. Clive did the Splattertown sequels.
Not enough blood for me.
Some of you have yet to submit your screenplays.
At the end of the semester, you may submit your thesis films...
to be considered for the prestigious Hitchcock Award...
which not only carries with it, as you all know, a $15,000 stipend...
but I'm proud to say, has become a springboard to Hollywood success...
- for such alumni as... - Cecily Spector.
- Josh Bouvet. - Josh Bouvet...
Chip Voelker.
And Chip Voelker.
Young lady! Come here!
- What are you doing out here in the dark? - I was going to the library.
Alone? At this hour? In this weather?
Get in this car. I'll drive you.
So cold.
No, "Show me your badge." No, "Can I see some ID?"
Can I see some ID?
I got no ID.
Where you going?
- Over the bridge to the... - Library, right.
Good for you, baby.
- My name's Reese. What's yours, sugar? - I'm Amy.
Nice lion. You ever hide a gun in there?
- What makes you say that? - I'm a film student.
I had a class last semester where we saw Pam Grier...
She had this film where she hides a gun inside a lion like that.
Coffy.
- Right. - That's one of my favourite films of hers.
I even have my gun trimmed in gold like hers.
Look at that.
- I've always been partial to Foxy Brown. - "That's my sister, baby.
"She's a whole lot of woman!"
You gonna do action movies like Coffy?
I don't know.
I have to turn in a thesis and I can't think of a good story.
- I got a good story. - Oh, yeah?
Yeah, it's about a campus serial killer who murders eight students...
but nothing happens because the prestigious university covers it up.
I heard this one. It supposedly happened at Pendleton.
It's just an urban legend.
You didn't let me finish.
After the murders, the chief of security...
who refused to go along with the cover-up, is fired.
Spends the entire year looking for work.
Finally lands an entry-level position at another university.
Thanks for the ride.
- Yeah, baby, anytime. - Have a good night.
Urban legend, my ass.
A thing that a lot of film historians don't seem to be able to gauge...
is the impact of mise en scène on cinéma vérité storytelling.
On the other hand, it could be argued mise en scène or staging...
are two examples that are basically mutually exclusive.
What is cinéma vérité if not the absence of staging?
- And so on. - Come in.
- Godard's accident victims... - I'll come back later.
- No. Come in. - draped in the trees in the countryside.
I just had an idea for my thesis film.
Come in. Sit down.
Hi, Dr. Fain.
The movie is about a serial killer whose murders are based on urban legends.
That's cool.
But not exactly what we've come to expect from a Mayfield.
I know, but I think I'm ready for a work of fiction.
I think you are, too. You mind, Richard?
Thanks. You can get the door on your way out.
What do you think?
Horror or suspense?
A little bit of both.
Just like Hitchcock.
Hitchcock's themes might serve you well.
Paranoia, fear of imprisonment, wrong man accused...
how the lines blur between fantasy and reality.
You think it's okay?
It's great.
Who would've thought you'd be the next Spielberg?
Yeah, right.
Enjoy it. Next year you'll be in the real world.
Here's to unemployment.
Here's to you for saving my ass again.
Two more.
Do I get a private screening when I get back?
We'll have to see.
I worked my ass off on your film, and every film you've done.
I know you did, and I love you for it.
Thanks.
Here's to you loving me for it.
Drink up.
- Don't you have a plane to catch? - Wasted is the only way to fly.
I've got to go finish working on my film. So have a safe trip.
- See you when you get back. - 'Bye.
That guy's a real spaz.
You know, I'm a director, too.
Really?
Directors make a lot of money?
Pretty much.
Then you won't mind paying for the drinks.
Excuse me.
Hello?
911. Please state your emergency.
I just woke up in a tub of ice...
- Don't tell me, your kidney's gone. - Yes.
Honey, I got Princess Di on line four. I got to go.
What?
Check it out.
It's a tradition during finals week.
Everybody's up late studying...
and at midnight, everyone screams as a release of tension.
At the same time between midnight and 12:01...
a co-ed is brutally attacked.
Her screams go unnoticed, drowned out by the screams of those around her.
- True story, right? - Yeah, I heard it happened at Harvard.
No.
It's an urban legend.
Like that girl who eats a burrito with the pregnant roach...
and the eggs hatch inside of her nose?
Or like that girl who takes a bite of a chicken sandwich...
and she discovers that the mayonnaise is really pus from a chicken tumour?
There's that guy who has crabs who unzips his fly...
Okay!
You definitely have the idea.
But I have my thesis film.
Is there a role for me?
You can scream, can't you?
Mayday! Mayday! Mayday!
- What are you doing? - We'll have to see it again.
No, you can't go in there again!
Jason, come on. Stop!
You guys scared the shit out of me.
We're movie monsters.
- Want to be the Count? - The Count sucks.
Get it?
Travis Stark, film genius.
- What are you doing? - Looking for her.
She was looking for you. She was trying to get her mack on.
Totally.
Sorry.
Let's play hopscotch.
Anyway.
- Is this your thesis film? - Yeah, but it's not done.
I'm sure it's a mess right now.
I wouldn't call it a mess.
Right, I mean...
I just got my script approved for my film and thought...
you'd want to take a look at it.
Why don't you come by Tuesday night and we'll talk about it?
Okay. I'll call you about it on the phone.
I hear cell phones give you brain cancer.
- That's an urban legend. - Too bad.
This is what we're going to film.
Here's a $20. Go wash my car.
Go ahead.
You know he's a P.A., not a slave, right?
Same difference.
The guy's applied to film school three times now.
There's this girl who's afraid of the dark.
She puts her hand down and if her dog licks her hand...
she knows everything's okay.
Can I be the dog? Because I'm a great licker.
That's what Dirk told me.
Anyway, when she wakes up in the morning, she walks...
into her bathroom and sees her dog hanging from the shower rod.
There's this message.
Latex and Cornflakes. We can do that.
Latex and Cornflakes?
One call to my old man and we can go digital.
Digital sucks. Latex rules.
That's not what your god George Lucas says.
Well, fuck George Lucas.
- You're going to hell, man. - I know.
I need to talk to you, Mayfield. In private.
I'll be right back.
- Where were you? - This is a nice script, Mayfield.
Nice horror script.
It seems similar, but I'm going for a paranoid thriller...
That's bullshit. Mayfield, you stole my fucking genre.
- Trust me. I'm not stealing anything. - Trust you?
Yeah. I should trust you.
To steal a Hitchcock from me.
Nobody is going to steal the Hitchcock from me...
especially you, little girl.
Find yourself another D.P.
Are you all right, Travis?
I got graded on my film today.
C-fucking-minus.
How could that happen?
So much for the Hitchcock.
You don't need that.
You're better than that.
You're the most talented filmmaker at this school.
Amy, I have no money.
I have no connections.
I feel really awful asking this now...
but I'm kind of desperate.
Toby dropped off my crew today.
You know another D.P. I could use?
Yeah. His name is Simon.
He shot my film.
I can call him if you want.
Okay.
It's going to be okay.
I'll see you.
Hey, guys.
- Anyone seen Sandra? - Naked, you mean?
Anyone not seen her naked?
I heard that.
- Watch out! - Oh, my God!
She's...
Oh, my God.
Got you.
She's one hell of an actress, ain't she?
Movie magic.
Oh, my God.
Was I in the moment?
- What were you doing? - Rehearsing.
I got an audition to play a coma patient on ER...
- with help from Graham's daddy. - It was nothing.
Thank you, baby.
Let's go watch her clean up.
You hear a noise while you're in the bedroom. You come in here.
The camera follows you from the doorway. Comes in. You see the dog.
You turn. You see the message. Then the killer pops up and you scream.
And that's it.
- Got it? - Yep.
Picture's up.
Everybody shut up! Picture's up.
Roll sound.
- Whatever. I'll see you later. - Graham, hello!
Can you hold on a minute?
Speed.
Pardon me?
- Is this the set of Amy Mayfield. - Yeah. I'm Amy.
I need a reservation for two for tonight, 8:45.
I'm Schorm Jabuscko.
Travis says you need a director of photography.
Yeah. Thank you for coming.
Unfortunately, this camera is all we have to work with, Schorm.
You can call me Simon.
Don't worry.
I bring my own.
This is my baby...
baby.
You know, you're a very beautiful woman.
Well, you're pretty cute, too, camera boy.
If you were a girl, I would definitely fuck you.
- Really? - Yeah.
- Hey, baby. - Hi, doll-face.
Can I give you a lift?
You already have.
Shit!
Jesus!
Idiot, Sandra.
All right, keys. Where would I be if I were keys?
God damn it. Keys.
Hello. Where are you? Keys.
A mess.
Disgusting. God damn it.
Yes.
Cut.
- She sucks. - Urban Legends, Scene 3, Take 28.
- Dog looks good. - It does.
Action.
- You could turn it into a comedy. - Take 20-fucking-9.
Okay, action.
Cut. Please cut.
What the...?
- This isn't us, is it? - Wrong reel.
That's Sandra.
- What's she doing? - That's Sandra's best angle.
That's definitely Sandra's ass.
Gratuitous ass shot.
Dude, that looks so real.
Right there. Get her.
They slash a major artery and that's all the blood?
O.J. left more blood on the Bronco.
- Bravo. - It was all right.
- The dog was good. - Yes.
Did you guys do this?
I didn't. Did you?
- Simon? - No.
But I like it.
Where's the reel that was on this projector?
I don't know.
You swear you didn't do this?
It was good but Dirk and I could do much better.
You don't think it was real?
No. Not enough blood.
This is classic Sandra.
- She probably staged it for her reel. - Then who shot it?
Guys. Travis Stark, he's dead.
By now most of you have heard the news.
For those of you who haven't...
Travis Stark took his life last night.
It's just hard to know what to say.
He blew his head off in the campus tower.
I mean literally blew it off.
Dental records wouldn't help.
It's important for us to celebrate who he was...
and what, I believe, he could've become.
He was a gifted filmmaker who raised the bar for all of us.
But not only did he let himself down, he let us all down.
Everybody goes through a time when they feel alone and helpless.
We need to go easy on ourselves...
and remember we're just doing the best we can.
You know, in the movie Day for Night, Truffaut asked the question:
"Is film more important than life?"
He was a hell of a talent.
Are you okay?
No.
Have you seen Sandra?
Sandra's in a coma, Amy.
On ER, in LA.
You should let me help you, too.
I know you're not hitting on me now.
With my father's connections, I can get your film done tomorrow.
I'd like to try it by myself.
That is hypocritical bullshit.
I know about you.
- You're a Hollywood kid, like me. - What? I grew up in Chicago.
Not before 1992 you didn't.
You were 13 years old when you and your mom moved from Beverly Hills.
After your daddy, Taylor Mayfield died...
while shooting the nature crap that you do.
Don't look so surprised.
- It's in your admissions file. - How did you see that?
Being the daughter of an Oscar-winning documentary filmmaker...
didn't hurt your chance of getting in here.
Why don't you cut the girl-next-door crap?
You're a film brat.
You need to make it to save face just as bad as I do.
Maybe worse.
I'll see you on the set, darling.
I heard he blew his head off up in the campus tower.
Hello? Who's there?
Travis?
They told me you killed yourself.
You knew him?
What?
My brother. You knew him?
I don't understand.
I'm Trevor Stark.
I'm his brother.
I didn't know that Travis had a brother.
When was the last time you saw him?
I saw him a couple of days ago.
Was he upset?
He was depressed and drinking because of the grade he got on his thesis film.
He thought he'd lost his chance at the Hitchcock Award.
I thought that's why you...
he...
killed himself.
Is that what everyone thinks?
Wait. Please.
If you're not Travis, why are you here?
Please.
My brother didn't kill himself.
Trust me. He wouldn't do that.
What are you saying?
You think he was murdered?
I know that's what happened.
- Have you said anything to the police? - I can't.
- Why not? - I just can't. Listen.
Don't tell anybody you saw me here.
Please.
Something happened to my brother and I'm going to find out what.
Three, two, one, midnight.
And cut.
Thank you so much. Thank you. All right, we're done.
You can go home. That's a wrap.
Sorry it was so late.
- What's going on? - Nothing.
- There's something wrong. - Nothing.
Hang on. Hey guys, I need help with these wild tracks.
- Great. They're gone. - I'll do it.
I just need a wild track of them screaming. Go home. Get some sleep.
- You sure? - Yeah. I got it.
- I'll talk to you later. - 'Bye.
- I must smoke. - Okay.
I need a bunch of loud screaming.
You're a very beautiful woman.
Is that a Beaulieu?
A Bolieux.
- Can I see it? - No.
Have a good night.
Okay, and rolling.
Now, remember, guys, nice and loud.
Help.
Help!
And cut.
Help me!
Go, girl!
Reese?
Amy! Scared me to death.
Have you been watching these monitors?
Yes.
Are you signing my paycheques now?
I thought I heard someone screaming like they were being attacked.
- Anybody else hear them? - I had my headphones on.
I was recording screaming.
Let me get this. You were recording screaming...
then you heard screaming.
Baby, I think your movie's making you paranoid.
Can we play the last hour of these monitors?
Last hour? Honey, I have rounds to make. You think I just watch movies?
- Can I just borrow the tapes? - Borrow them?
I'll bring them back. I promise.
All right.
If you see anything strange...
and I mean really strange...
you bring these back to me to look at.
And start wearing a bell or something!
Hello?
Stan?
That's not funny.
I'm serious. Stop it.
God damn it! Girl, this is getting old!
Somebody's after me.
How'd you find me?
You see? I do watch those things.
One tape was in my bag when I threw it. I ran out of the scoring stage, but...
I had another tape. I dropped it. Did you see it?
I looked, but I didn't see no tape. Just your crazy white ass in the sewer.
I saw Simon killed. I saw the attack.
Honey, without proof...
This is proof.
Vandals.
But nothing! Any overworked policeman with a caseload a mile long...
is going to look at this as vandalism.
Baby, trust me.
It's just the way it is. Let me take you home.
Get out of them wet clothes.
And maybe I can go home.
Hey, this is Travis. Leave it.
Hey, it's me from the tower.
I don't know if you're staying there, but I need to talk to you.
It's about Travis.
I think you're right.
After I got away, I realised the footage of Sandra was real. It wasn't a prank.
You think your friend Sandra was killed as well?
Yeah. And that would've been the third.
Have you told anyone else?
I was going to tell the police.
You can't tell the police.
Why not?
That's the second time you've said that.
Trevor? Trevor!
Travis and I both had a certain amount of creativity.
I focused mine on lesser pursuits.
And as a result, my relationship with the authorities isn't that great.
But thanks to Travis, I'm starting to get my shit together.
He was always riding me about never following through on anything.
So I owe it to him.
You know?
Yeah.
Reminds me of my dad.
He was a filmmaker.
Documentaries.
After he died...
I thought that if I didn't make documentaries too, that I'd forget him.
But he'd be proud of me to know I'm doing something I'm passionate about.
That's why I decided to make this fiction film.
Not because I had any chance at the...
What?
At the Hitchcock award.
The winner's guaranteed a shot at directing in Hollywood.
You think somebody would kill for that?
Maybe.
Wait a minute.
Where's your shoot tomorrow?
It's at the theme park outside town.
Because if you're right, whoever's doing this is going to come after you again.
This is our chance to draw out the killer.
Trevor, I can't.
I know you're scared.
I mean, so am I.
But don't we owe it to Travis and your friends?
I won't let anything happen to you. I will be there.
Trust me.
- I have a good story for you. - Sandra's in a coma.
I heard he blew his head off.
Don't tell anybody you saw me here.
Latex and Cornflakes.
- He was a hell of a talent. - Don't look so surprised.
- So much for the Hitchcock. - No one's going to steal it from me.
- Lines blur between fantasy and reality. - I'm good at that.
You need to make it to save face just as bad as I do.
Tragic day.
- Trust me. - Paranoia.
I know about you.
- Fear of imprisonment. - Not what we'd expect.
- Nice horror script. - Wrong man accused.
- Especially you. - My brother didn't kill himself.
Don't tell anybody you saw me.
- I should trust you. - Trust me.
Got you.
Quite the artist. What are you guys working on? Another urban legend?
"The Tunnel of Terror."
A carnival comes to town. Only it's not like other carnivals.
It has a Tunnel of Terror, filled with fake bloody corpses.
Everybody thinks it's the scariest ride.
Then in the morning, the carnival's gone...
and a bunch of children are missing.
It turns out that the bodies were real in the Tunnel of Terror.
This is the Tunnel of Terror?
It will be.
Okay.
Hello, tenderfoot.
You must be as high as my tool to ride the Merry Miners.
I told you.
Suki suki now.
Dead bodies, anyone?
Oh, my God.
- So this is our Tunnel of Terror. - You'll be able to make it work?
- We need three hours. - You only have one.
- Perfect. - Just negotiate.
- Wonder Twin powers... - Activate.
- Split it. Coming through. - Make a hole.
Good luck, boys.
Sorry, baby.
Dirk! How you doing down there?
Back to work, boys.
Power's up.
They're alive!
Take a look at these babies.
Hurry back up here. These things are creepy.
- Scared of miners? Weak sauce, man. - Shut up and come up here.
- I can't believe Simon flaked. - I can.
What happened to good old Simon anyway?
What's he doing here?
Carrying shit. He wanted to help. So what?
It's my crew. That's "so what."
I don't want all these people here.
Take a look at these babies.
"This little piggy went wee-wee-wee all the way home."
Nice, man.
You bring up the strobes? Let me do this one.
Hi-ho.
Did you call me a ho?
Don't you think you're over your head on this little masterpiece?
You pull a power trip on me in front of everybody?
You shouldn't do that. You know that?
Not to me, you shouldn't.
I'm out of here. Pack up this shit.
This will take a long time.
You guys go eat before we get stuck here all night.
- You sure? - Yeah.
I'll just stay here with Dirk and Stan. Just come back in an hour.
Okay. I'll bring you back something.
All right. Guys, lunch. One hour.
Just be careful.
Always.
Hey, Dirk! The lights are in place. How you doing?
Everything's fine.
Let her rip.
- I'm about to go take care of my baby. - Use a rubber.
Dirk and Stan, you read me?
You okay in there? Can you guys read me?
You coming in for a run-through?
Yeah. I'm coming now.
Okay, you push the red...
No, No. Green.
Push the green button and pull the pickaxe. That should start the ride.
- Go for it. - Copy that.
Howdy, tenderfoot, and welcome. Keep your keister in the seat till the end.
Don't want to lose any nuggets along the way.
So long, stranger.
She's coming in for a run-through. Hurry up, man.
Hurry on up!
We outdid ourselves this time. She's going to love it!
Coming up.
Okay, guys, very funny.
Guys, okay. I'm really scared. Just stop.
Guys, are you okay down there?
Nice set. Where's your crew?
There's the two of them. They were both electrocuted.
Stupid kids.
- And that's your final statement? - Yes.
Anything else you could tell us, other than the power going out?
Anything else, sugar?
We can take it from here, Detective.
No, there's nothing else.
Okay. We'll be in touch.
Where were you?
Is this what you call following through? You weren't there.
You didn't do anything. You didn't protect me.
That's not true.
I saw what happened with Graham. That's why I followed him.
When I came back, the police were everywhere. What happened?
Exactly what you said would happen.
He came back.
- And now Dirk and Stan are dead. - Oh, my God.
I trusted you.
Amy, I'm sorry.
At least we know it's not Graham.
Not exactly. I lost him.
I'm wrong about everything.
Why?
Dirk and Stan were sophomores.
They weren't up for the Hitchcock Award.
So why kill them?
I don't know what to do.
I'm so scared.
It's okay.
I'm here now.
Listen.
We need to get some rest.
Then we'll go to the tower and start at the beginning.
Until then, you need to go to sleep. You're exhausted.
- I know, but... - You're exhausted.
Maybe there's something we missed. Something that will help us.
Just don't leave me again, okay?
I won't.
I promise you.
Vanessa.
I got your note.
Let me just tell you how I felt when I read this.
What?
At first I was a little surprised, but, you know, not really.
But I...
Vanessa, I didn't write a letter.
What?
Oh, God.
Who would do this?
Come on, come on!
Amy, what's going on?
What are we running from?
What is it?
What is it, Amy?
Oh, shit.
- Come on. - Who the fuck's there?
What the fuck's down there?
Who is down there?
Oh, rats.
Come on!
- What's going on? Is it a joke? - No, it's not a joke.
- Did you hear that? - Yeah.
What the fuck?
I don't hear anything.
Somebody help me!
What the hell?
What's wrong?
It's Vanessa.
- What? - In the tower!
Why weren't you there when I woke up?
Amy. I found something.
You've got to believe me. Let's get out of here.
So I got to thinking...
if the killer wasn't killing off the competition for the Hitchcock...
but killing only film students, there had to be a connection.
But I couldn't find one.
So then I took you out of the loop.
My brother's thesis film project. All the victims worked on it.
Got it.
That was just awful.
How could Travis make such a shitty movie?
I think I saw something.
- It's a splice. - So?
It's a hard splice.
See, there's splicing tape connecting the last frame of the film...
to the first frame of the credits.
- That's not normal? - No.
This is a final print.
It's a copy from a negative. You shouldn't see splices.
Somebody changed the credits on Travis' film?
Somebody changed the film on Travis' credits.
To pass it off as their own?
There's one person on this crew who's still alive.
Oh, my God.
Mayfield? What the...
Okay, okay.
What do you want?
Travis.
That should hold him.
What's the matter, Toby?
Looks like you've seen a ghost.
Professor Solomon?
Could you talk to them? They have a gun...
Shut up!
Travis?
Professor.
But I thought...
Thank you for coming, Professor Solomon.
I'm really sorry.
Maybe you should sit down.
Pull up a chair, Professor.
What's with the gun?
It's fake. It's a prop.
Oh, my God.
What's going on here?
Toby stole my film and switched the credits on it.
Is that what this is all about? Well don't flatter yourself.
Back up a step. Travis, why the charade? I thought you were dead.
We'll get to that.
Toby's film was falling apart.
He knew mine was good because he did the sound on it.
No. I did not do the sound on your film, you fake-suicide psycho.
You did it. You know that.
You gave me the credit so I could graduate.
You never saw his film?
No. I never came near his film.
Professor, help me out here.
You realise what this means, don't you?
What?
I gave you an A in sound for nothing.
Film's a collaborative medium.
And who the fuck are you?
I put a gun in Travis Stark's mouth.
And I pulled the trigger.
Why?
To frame you.
As a matter of fact...
I need your prints on this gun to prove you killed Toby and Travis...
and whoever this loser is.
Trevor, is it?
Cute.
Run, Amy!
Get up!
If you don't get out here, I'll shoot this guy!
You want to die now, asshole?
Get out here before you kill someone else.
Amy, don't come out.
Is it true about twins? Did you feel it when I blew your brother's brains out?
Guess it's going to hurt dying twice.
Okay!
Let him go.
You got what you wanted.
You think this is what I wanted?
Fuck teaching!
What are you talking about?
When I was a student here...
the faculty was deadlocked for the Hitchcock, between my film...
and a piece of shit by Chip Voelker.
So they asked a guest filmmaker to cast the deciding vote.
Taylor Mayfield, documentary hack.
With that one vote...
your father robbed me of the career I should've had in Hollywood.
And I've been trapped here ever since.
But then...
Travis made a brilliant film.
And I saw my way out.
But, I needed an alibi.
Then bingo.
You walk in my office, with that twisted little movie idea...
giving me the cover I needed.
You killed everyone who worked on Travis' film...
to pass it off as your own and get away with it.
Hey, babe. Whatever.
While you end up in some lesbo prison...
I'll be heading to LA with Travis' film and a three-picture deal.
That only works in movies, idiot.
- Freeze! - Freeze!
Oh, thank God.
- They're trying to kill me. - He's lying.
First things first!
I want the crazy-ass white girl to drop the gun and kick it away!
- But he's lying! - I said drop it and kick it away!
Thank you.
Now, everyone out of the creepy-ass graveyard!
That includes the undead!
Professor, drop the shovel.
She's the one you saw coming out of the tower.
- Don't listen to him. - Cross over to me, Professor.
You're safe now.
It's true, isn't it, Amy?
I saw you leaving the tower.
Listen.
But I never told anyone I saw her.
Motherfucker!
You fucking son of a bitch!
Watch out!
Okay, everybody. Calm down!
What do you say, hon?
Give me your best shot.
You filmed Sandra's death.
It's called cinéma vérité.
Nice touch, don't you think?
It was out of focus.
But you know what they say:
"Those who can't do, teach."
What are you going to do?
Come on. Do it.
Reese!
Pass it to me.
Amy!
Oh, my God.
Thank God.
"That's my sister, baby. She's a whole lot a woman."
We need help at the film department.
It has been a year of pain and tremendous loss.
And our final award is also tinged with sadness...
for its recipient is no longer with us.
We are fortunate, however, to have his brother here...
to accept on his behalf.
We're proud to give this year's Alfred Hitchcock Award...
in memory of Travis Stark and The Gods of Men.
Freeze! You psycho motherfucker!
And cut!
- How many times we got to do this? - Good. Print that.
We're going to do this one more time. Back to one.
Let me give you a hand.
Listen. I am Amy Mayfield's agent.
We're not taking less than a three-picture deal.
- How am I doing? - You're doing great.
- You, too. - Amy? Picture's up.
All right, let's try it. And rolling.
- Okay, let's get this. - Soundspeed.
Urban Legends, Scene 6, Take 2. Mark it.
Don't you just love that movie?
I think we have a lot in common.