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龙虎少年队第一集回顾 Previously on 21 JUMP STREET
你是个书呆子 You're a fucking nerd.
孩子 你能毕业已经很幸运了 Boy, you lucky you even graduating.
你很擅长这个啊？ - 对 You're good at this, huh? Yeah.
你真的很擅长这个啊 - 是 You're really good at this. Yeah.
想交个朋友吗？ Hey, you want to be friends?
你没装上膛吧？ Yours isn't loaded, right?
摸摸看 - 我害怕 Just touch it. I'm scared.
摸摸看 Just touch it.
行了 行了 行了 Seriously. All right, all right, all right.
你为我挡了子弹 伙计 You took a bullet for me, man.
你朝我的老二开枪 You shot me in the dick!
嘣 干他娘的 Boom, motherfuckers!
你们俩混蛋要去大学了 You two sons of bitches are going to college!
阴的特点是缓慢的 柔软的 被动的 Yin is characterized as slow, soft, passive
与水和女性有关 and is associated with water and femininity.
阳 相比之下是快速和可靠的和... While, Yang, by contrast is fast and solid and...
伙计 这太也扯了 Man, this is bs.
我以为我们要去真正的大学 不是在线大学 I thought we were going to actual college, not online college.
听什么加密信息的讲座 Listening for coded messages in lectures.
你在说些什么 What are you talking about?
看看周围 Look around.
这是我们的城市 This is our city.
我们去上大学干吗？ What do we want to be in college for?
说的对 You're right.
一生的搭档 Partners for life.
美罗城港口的涨潮时间是上午10:30 At Metro city port the tide comes in at 10:30 A.M
然后会再回到大海 Then it will return to the sea.
美罗港口 还有一小时 Metro port. One hour.
¶ ¶
我们开干吧 let's do this.
¶ Turn down for what
¶ turn down for what
惊喜 还有更多武器 surprise. There's two more arms.
¶ ¶
¶ turn down for what
¶ turn down for what ¶
糟糕 是鬼见愁 - 鬼见愁? shit! That's the ghost. Jenko: The ghost?
Joste nillsen,
美罗城最大的走私犯 biggest trafficker of illegal goods in Metro city.
他与墨西哥的贩毒集团有联系 He teamed up with a Mexican cartel
他们一直在港口进行交易 and they're running all this shit through the port.
这样的话我们该怎么去买货？ What the hell are we supposed to be buying?
我也不知道 I don't know.
你干吗？ - 啊？ What are you doing? Huh?
我要换一个杀手的身份 I got a new identity that's gonna be killer.
我去诱敌 你来正式逮捕 I'll be throwing it to you to make it legit.
行 Okay.
我需要你即兴发挥 明白吗？ I'm gonna need you to improvise. Okay?
我不想即兴发挥 I don't want to improvise.
我需要你去即兴发挥 I'm gonna need you to improvise.
我讨厌即兴 我不想那样 I suck at improvising. I don't want to do it.
当我进入角色时不能受到任何干扰 I need absolute silence while I fall into character.
我需要绝对的安静去进入状态 I need absolute silence while I fall into character.
开始时能给我个提... Can you give me a head start on...
我需要...我需要绝对安静 I need absolute... I need absolute silence.
你就不能... - 绝对安静 Can you please... Absolute silence.
¶ ¶
你有必要这个熊样吗？ jenko: Are you fucking serious right now?
行了 我讨厌迟到的人 All right. I hate people who are late.
西班牙语 (Speaking Spanish)
我们想先看看货 We're trying to see that product.
卧槽 Shit!
哟 瞌睡虫 怎么了 伙计？ Yo, sleepy! What's up, homie?
你认识我老表 悲剧仔 You know my cousin, sad boy.
你可能认错人了 伙计 I think you got the wrong guy, homes.
别扯了 老兄 你是瞌睡虫 Oh, that's bullshit, man! You sleepy!
贫民区大家都说 Everyone say in the barrio,
瞌睡虫他就是墨西哥版的金刚狼 "sleepy, he like the Mexican Wolverine" and shit.
我搭档来了 他想看看货 Hey, my partner here, he want to see the product.
他怎么不说话？ Why ain't he talking?
(外国口音)我叫Jeff (In foreign accent) My name is Jeff.
这是jeffe伙计 That's jeffe man.
告诉他们小老鼠的成年礼 搭档 Tell 'em about mousie's quinceanera man.
还有你们那些疯狂的冒险 Tell 'em about that crazy adventure you guys had.
我不知道你在说些什么 I don't know what you're talking about.
不是吧 昨天晚上你告诉我的 Oh, man, when you were telling the story last night,
你给我讲的那么详细 you had so much detail!
内容很具体 很丰富 The detail was so rich! It was rich detail!
令人难以置信的细节描述 Go into incredibly descriptive details
那个我们都知道的故事 of the story, so we all know.
哦 那个 Oh, yes.
有dora和Diego It was dora and Diego
还有窃贼 and swiper.
窃贼 Swiper?
你掐死那个谁啊 伙计？ Who was that you choked out, man?
他自找的 是那个谁啊 He had it coming! Who was that?
靴子 Boots.
不是 伙计 不是靴子 靴子就不是人名 No, man, that wasn't boots! Boots isn't a real name!
你要告诉他们真实的故事 伙计 You got to tell them the real story, man.
从头开始 Start over from the top.
那是他瞎编名字 That's a made-up name.
不敢相信 我还要处理小混混 I can't believe the punks I have to deal with these days.
让我很怀念90年代 It really makes me miss the '90s,
那时我们有专业人士 when we had professionals around.
你想看看货是吗？ You want to check out the goods?
来看看吧 Check it out.
然后闭嘴 行吗 And shut up. Right?
你哪找的这些美国佬 Where'd you find this gringo, man?
是蒙福之子乐队音乐会的人吗？ At the fucking mumford & sons concert and shit?
什么东西？枪？毒品？ What is it? Guns? Drugs?
老兄 真恶心 Dude! It's gross!
墨汁进我嘴里了 It's inking in my mouth!
我帮你拿下来 I'll get it off.
它触手在吸我 Its tentacle is eating me!
真挺有劲的 拿下来了 伙计 It's so strong! It's really on there, man.
它咬了我的脸 It's biting my face!
妈的 Shit!
黑市的珍稀动物 就像我们预料的一样 Black market exotic animals, just like we expected to be in there.
口音不见了 哈？ The accents are gone, huh?
把他们赶出去 他俩是警察 Take them out, guys. They're cops.
怎么回事 - 不清楚 应该是车子开动了 What was that? I don't know! I think we're moving.
车绝对是在跑 We're definitely moving!
这里他妈的都是鸟还有屎 Jenko: There's fucking birds and shit in here!
是真正的屎 There's actual shit!
什么情况？ Schmidt: What the fuck?
这里他妈的有条龙 There's a fucking dragon in here!
靠 Shit!
那是什么 What was that?
伙计 那是我俩的车 Dude, that was our car.
我们对那车投入了那么多 We shared so much in that car!
我要朝他们脸上开枪 为我们的车 I'm going to shoot them in the face for that! That was our fucking car!
你要干什么？ What are you doing?
在卡车是别冲动 Don't teen wolf on the truck!
别丢我一个人在这 Don't leave me here alone!
那就上来 Then get up here!
我上不去 I can't do that!
从旁边爬上来 快点 爬上来 Then fucking climb around. Come on, climb around.
快上来 伙计 你可以的 Let's go. Come on, buddy. You got it.
太吓人了 Schmidt: This is so scary!
开枪打他们 Shoot him!
别丢下我不管 Schmidt: Don't leave me out here!
我没子弹了 - 你个蠢货白痴 I'm all out. You stupid moron!
上来了 加油 That's it. Come on.
总算上来了 起来 - 靠 Fucking get up here. Come on. Fuck!
好了 你行吗？ - 行 All right, you good? Yeah!
现在你向前走行吗？ - 好 All you got to do is walk now, okay? Okay.
妈的 Shit!
你干什么呢 起来啊 What the fuck are you doing? Get up here!
我起不来 I can't!
行 那我只能拖着你 All right, fine, I guess I'll just drag you.
我要死了 I'm gonna die!
你死不了 快起来 到上面来 You're not gonna die. Just get the fuck up here!
把你自己拉上来 Pull yourself up here.
用你的腰力 Use your core!
上来了 上来了 快来 快来 好 You got it, you got it. Come on, come on. Yeah!
好了 你能自己站起来吗？ - 能？ All right. Think you can stand on your own now? Yes!
应该甩掉他们了 I think we lost them.
靠 Shit!
他妈的终结者吗 He's the fucking Terminator!
很他妈的危险 That's fucking dangerous!
你 被 捕 了 You are under arrest!
把卡车停下 Pull the truck over!
我说把他妈的卡车给我停下 I said pull the fucking truck over right fucking now!
你欠我一辆车 You owe me a car,
你最好赔我一辆兰博基尼 贱人 and it'd better be a fucking lamborghini, you bitch!
我站起来了 I did it!
你有权保持沉默 You have the right to remain silent.
我 靠 Oh, shit!
我勒个大操 Holy Moses!
靠 Schmidt: Shit.
怎么回事？ Jenko: What happened?
我想他们跑了 Schmidt: I think they got away.
那是吻痕吗？ Is that a hickey?
这些其实是搞章鱼的时候弄的 Oh. This was actually an octopus-related incident.
我打开箱子章鱼跳到我的脸上 I'd opened a crate and the octopus had leapt onto my face.
明显 它们有很多触手 Apparently, they have many, many arms.
它们有八个触角 They have eight tentacles.
对 还有... Yes, and...
听好了 废物 Look, ladies,
没人关心龙虎局刚开始时能怎么样 nobody gave a shit about the jump street reboot when you first came on.
脑子没进水的人 包括我自己 Anyone with half a brain, myself included,
都认为这注定要失败 thought it was destined to fail spectacularly.
不过你们很幸运 But you got lucky.
现在这个部门有了资金 So now this department has invested
投很多钱确保龙虎局继续下去 a lot of money to make sure jump street keeps going.
我们增加了一倍的预算 We've doubled their budget.
花两倍的钱要有保证两倍的回馈 As if spending twice the money guaranteed twice the profit.
说的跟真的一样 Like that's going to work.
是啊 上级认为这次之所以失败 Yeah. Well, the commissioner's convinced this debacle happened
因为你没有同样去做学生卧底 because you weren't doing the same undercover student thing
你们第一次是那样 you did the first time.
她不知道第二次一般都很糟糕 She doesn't get that it's always worse the second time around.
你适应的角色 You settle into worn-out roles.
一个有控制欲 一个容易失控 One gets possessive, the other runs away.
你们慢慢会感觉到痛苦 You begin a slow, painful unraveling,
在所有的情况转好之前 as all the good things that came before
就会被悲痛击碎然后分开 begin to be crushed by the trash compactor of sadness.
听起来不像是我们 我的意思是... That doesn't sound like us. I mean...
这是老司机的经验 I'm getting a divorce.
我们不想做同样的事情 We don't want to do the same thing.
我们想不断突破 We want to burst through our ceiling.
找到突破点 And you're gonna find another ceiling
然后你去突破它 and you got to bust through that one,
你就不断的捶打就行了 and you just got to keep hammering ceilings.
行了 行了 行了 Okay, okay, okay.
我们可以进入特勤处 What if we actually went into the secret service
去守卫白宫 and, like, tried to protect the white house?
我不认为那样可行 I think... I don't think that would work.
我要求你们俩别在说了 I'm going to ask you to stop talking.
我觉得那是很不错的点子 I thought it was a pretty good idea.
做像上次一样的事情 对大家都好 Do the same thing as last time, everyone's happy.
韩国人竟然把教堂买回去了 I can't believe the Koreans bought their church back.
是啊 好事是有个更大些 Yeah. Good thing there was an even bigger
就在原单位的对面 abandoned church directly across the street.
是啊 这倒是很方便 - 是很方便 Yeah. That's convenient. Yes, it is convenient.
明年 我们大概还会回到对面 Next year, we'll probably just be right back across the street.
旁边的那个门 Just next door.
还是不要高估自己 (Scoffs) Let's not get ahead of ourselves.
我们没有高估自己 We're not ahead of ourselves.
我们一个一个的来 We're right next to each other.
太牛叉了 有钱就是不一样 This is awesome. Like, way more expensive for no reason.
看看dickson的办公室 Look at dickson's office.
像一个巨大的冰柜 Looks like a giant cube of ice.
你们俩混小子现在喜欢龙虎局了吧？ How you bitches like jump street now?
看见这些了吗？ Y'all see this shit?
22号龙虎局有钱 22 jump street is the lick.
我也升职了 And I got a big-ass raise
照看你俩混小子 to babysit you two fuckers again.
我自己设计的 这有咖啡吧 Designed it myself. We got an espresso bar.
我想在这弄个鲨鱼池 I'm thinking about a shark tank over there.
哦 我喜欢鲨鱼 Ooh, I like sharks.
去他妈的21号警局 去他妈的韩国耶稣 Fuck a 21 jump street, and fuck a Korean Jesus.
说什么呢 韩国耶稣不就在这吗 Whoa! Cap, come on, Korean Jesus is right there.
这是越南耶稣 Dickson: That's vietnamese Jesus.
看见了吧 这里是越南教堂 See, this a vietnamese church.
你个种族主义 亵渎神明 You racist, sacrilegious sack of shit.
看看 越南耶稣都要哭了 Look at that. Vietnamese Jesus just dripping swagoo.
我们还有新蠢货加入 And we got some new dumb-ass interns.
嘿 嘿 看这边 Hey, hey! Look alive! Huh?
伙计们 - 呦是 jenko Boys. Yo, jenko.
嘿 schmidt! Hey, schmidt!
别玩了 Don't do that.
好 你要同样的案子 给你 So, they want the same shit, so here we go.
同样的身份 Same identities.
同样的任务 Same assignment.
我们又要去高中了? Jenko: We're going back to high school?
你俩看起来有50岁了 Your ass look like you about 50.
你们要去美罗城大学 You're going to mc state.
我们真的要去大学了 We're going to college for real?
有人来这 制作了新毒品 Somebody's out there, they're cooking up a new drug.
混合了阿得拉和摇头丸 还有不知道什么玩意 It's Adderall mixed with ecstasy mixed with God knows what else.
Jenko: "Wipey"?
不是 你个蠢货是Whyphy No, you dumb motherfucker. "Whyphy."
让人精神百倍 玩命的去玩 Stands for "work hard? Yes. Play hard? Yes."
现在 学生买这些东西 Now, these kids take this shit,
他们只专注4个小时去学习 and they get laser-focused for about four hours of studying,
他们开派对像回到了1999年 and then they party like it's goddamn 1999.
这是谁？ Schmidt: Who's this?
那是 Cynthia Watson That's Cynthia Watson.
美罗城大学的学生 She was a student at mc state.
她吃了whyphy She took some whyphy,
自己锁在宿舍里 got locked out of her dorm,
最后从屋顶上摔下来 ended up falling off the roof.
现在她已经死了 And now she's dead.
这是她在校园买毒品时 That's her buying drugs on campus.
旁边的就是卖家 And that's the dealer.
找到他就找到供货商了 Find him and we find the supplier.
长官 我能说 Sir, can I just say,
很振奋能这么关心一个黑人受害者 it is so refreshing to have a case with a black victim.
我们更加关心 是因为她是黑人 I mean, we care so much more because she's black.
我觉得他是想说 I think what he's really trying to say
我们同样关心 is that we care equally.
平等对待 我们有多关心 It's a tie, really, how much we care.
不是这样 要白人我看都不看 Uh... no, we're not. If it was a white person, I wouldn't even care.
少了一个白种废物 有什么大不了的 One less cracker-ass cracker to worry about.
为什么你们俩每次说话 我都想打人 Why every time you speak I want to throw the fuck up?
查找卖家 找到供货商 Infiltrate the dealer, find the supplier.
¶ ¶
你还好吗？ You all right?
很好 Yeah.
只是 It's just...
我是我们家第一个假装进入大学的 I'm the first person in my family to pretend to go to college.
好事我们要一起去做 Best part is we get to do it together.
怎么样 大学？ What's up, college?
怎么样 兄弟 我们住322房 What's up, bro? We're 322.
去他妈的高中 对吧？ Fuck high school, right?
去他妈的高中 Fuck high school.
哦 好小的房间 Oh, so tight!
哦 好不适应 Oh, this is so baller!
床 哦 糟糕 Beds... oh, shit. (Groans)
伙计 这看起来像精液 Oh, dope. That looks like cum.
是精液 好 看见了 That's cum. Okay. All right.
我们在床上发现了精液 老兄 Already got cum on the mattress, dawg.
欢迎来到大学 - 靠 耶 Welcome to college. Fuck, yeah.
伸缩篮子
沐浴用品
电热板 -豆袋椅
3个沐浴巾
这个东西
棉签
豆袋椅
六个月不用洗的太空被
滑稽衬衫说明我们喝酒 Hilarious shirt that signals we drink alcohol.
熏肉机我妈给我买的 Some bacon machine that my mom got me.
我不知道怎么用 I do not understand how it works.
是真的 It's true.
高科技警察装备 Jenko: Super high-tech police gear.
全拜高昂的预算所赐 干他娘的 Carte blanche with the budget, motherfucker.
我不同意贴这张海报 I'm going to veto that poster.
显的幼稚 It's a touch childish.
好 也不知道兰博基尼跟小屁孩有什么关系 Okay. What do lambos have to do with touching children?
兰博基尼太差劲 Lambos are lame.
我想要说明白的是 这个不是... I get one choice. I get one thing that I'm not...
我们得承认 你懂我的意思吗？ We have to agree. You know what I mean?
怎么样?同志们 我们是对门的邻居 What up, fellas? We're your across-the-hall neighbors.
嘿 两个人 双胞胎啊 Oh, hey, there's two of you. You're twins.
我们是杨家兄弟 Kenny Yang We're the yangs, man. Kenny Yang. What's up?
Keith Yang.
你好啊 - 你好啊 What's going on? What's going on?
你刚才说你姓杨 Did you say the yangs?
对 我们父亲是中国人 Yeah, dad's Chinese, man.
我妈妈不是 她是黑人 Our mom's not Chinese. She's black.
真正的黑人 Oh. She's like real black.
像韦斯利·斯奈普斯 对极了 Like Wesley snipes black. Exactly.
我们也是兄弟 We're brothers, too.
他没说笑 是真的 No. He's not kidding. He's serious.
真的？ Oh, really?
怎么？ 你一个年龄大一些 What? Like, one of y'all older?
因为你眼睛周围都有鱼尾纹了 Yeah, 'cause you got crow's feet under your eyes, man.
你很特别 You specifically.
我们就是正常的大学年龄 We're actually just normal college age.
就算你年龄大也很酷 伙计 I mean, even if you're a little older, that's cool, man,
姑娘们喜欢年纪大的 because, you know, girls here love older dudes.
这是真的 That's true.
这有很多无脑姑娘在这 Plus, there's mad fuckable girls here.
胸大无脑的 特别是在春假 Mad fuckable. Especially during spring break.
我喜欢春假 不过我要说 Jenko: I love spring break. But I do have to say,
我上过无数的姑娘 I've fucked a thousand girls by now
不知怎么 到最后 and I don't know, at the end of the day,
你只是想要一些 you just kind of want something
更深层次的东西 that's just a little deeper really.
对 深层次 Jinx 给我买可乐 Both: Yeah, balls deeper. Jinx. Buy me a coke.
哦 我们还在说一样的话 太牛叉了 Oh, snap, we're still saying the same thing. This is amazing!
胡萝卜 裸麦粉粗面包 荧光棒 双胞胎！ Carrots. Pumpernickels. Glow sticks. Twins!
停不下来了 兄弟 太奇怪了 That's dope, dude. That's so sick.
很奇特 我们也有兄弟心灵感应 That's crazy. We have that brother connection, too.
你准备好了？ - 好了 You ready? Mmm-hmm. Yeah.
海盗！婴儿脚！ - 回形针！香蕉！ Pirates! Baby feet! Paper clips! Bananas!
太阳！愤怒！ - 我不知道！单词！ Sun! Anger! I don't know! Words!
流沙 - 鞋 Quicksand! Shoes!
这是说唱 哥们 很牛 That's hip-hop, man. Awesome.
真的很棒 That's great.
在这会很好玩 It's gonna be super fun.
对吧 像上一次一样 All right? Same as last time.
伙计 要是像上一次 Dude, if it's like last time,
你会玩的很开心 我就很悲剧 you're gonna have an awesome time, and it's gonna suck for me.
不对 你也会玩的很开心 No. You're gonna have an awesome time, too,
我会让你玩的开心的 because I'm gonna make sure of it.
你为我挡过子弹 You took a bullet for me.
对 我挡过 太悲催了 不过我还会挡 That's right, I did, and it sucked, but I'd do it again.
不行 该我了 我欠你的 No way. It's my turn. I owe you a life debt.
男女混用卫生间 (Singsong) Co-ed bathrooms.
怎么？ 哦 糟糕 What? Oh, shit.
我不会让你悲剧的 I'm not gonna take a shit
我会一直都在的 the entire time I'm here.
我知道 I know.
嗨 你好啊 Hey. How you doing?
嗨 Hey.
你怎么样？ 你怎么样？ What's up? 'Sup?
就是刚创造了facebook有点精疲力尽 Just exhausted from inventing Facebook
或其他我们这个年龄的人用的网站 or whatever website people our age use.
这里还有书本？ Jenko: They still have books?
我以为他们都把书放进电脑里了 I thought they just put the books inside the computers.
我猜学生们的电脑只用来约炮的 Yeah, I guess the kids just use the stacks to hide and have sex.
我们去Cynthia参加过的课和活动 So we'll go to all Cynthia's classes and activities,
向周围打探毒品的事 ask around about the drug
找到谁是卖家 and find out who the dealer is.
就像上一次一样 Yeah, it's just like last time.
完全像上一次一样 Exactly like last time.
伙计 人类性学科 Dude, in human sexuality,
你是自己去干 do you get to fuck
还是只看着别人干 or do you just get to watch people fuck?
都不是 Neither.
我他妈的该干什么？ What the fuck am I taking it for, then?
明显 我们大家都听过这句话 Now, obviously, we've all heard this statement before,
第一印象很重要 first impression is important
我让你们留个第一印象 I've got a first impression for you.
你喜欢我的心理课吗？ (Mimicking Tracy Morgan) Oh, y'all like psychology?
崔西·摩根 Tracy Morgan.
没人喜欢？ Nobody?
精神百倍 玩命去玩 我说对吧 (Softly) Work hard, play hard, am I right?
你在找whyphy？ You looking for some whyphy?
对 哥们 有就太好了 Yeah, man, that'd be sick.
去警察局 Go to the police station,
向你队长申请去证物室 walk in and ask your captain to see the evidence room
你他妈就是缉毒警察 'cause you're a fucking narc.
我认为你理解错了 I think you're mistaken.
你前面戴着徽章 (Laughs) You're literally wearing your badge.
你真的去检查 Did you really just check to see
你有没有戴徽章 if you were wearing your badge?
这家伙是个警察 This guy's a fucking cop.
我没有往下看 I didn't look down.
等等 Jacobs教授 历史不是很久以前发生的事吗？ "Wait, Professor Jacobs, doesn't history happen a long time ago?"
历史是发生... Well, history happens...
这节课糟糕透了 This class is such a gut.
你们玩橄榄球 Hey, you guys play football?
这其实是我的笔记本电脑 No, this is actually my laptop.
看 我在记笔记 Yeah, I'm taking notes right now.
逗你玩的 这是橄榄球 I'm kidding. It's a football.
mcquaid同学 Mr. mcquaid?
共价键 Covalent bonds.
缉毒战争的结果是什么？ What has been the result of the war on drugs?
为什么要问我 我有不是警察 Why would you ask me? I'm not a cop.
因为这是大学研讨班 Because this is a college seminar,
这就是大学研讨班要做的 and that's how college seminars work.
教授和学生愉快的交流 Professor gets into a lively conversation with the student.
擦出火花 最后让学生领会 Friction creates fire, and that leads to lessons learned.
缉毒肯定是很困难的 Well, it's definitely harder to get drugs.
这一点可以告诉你 I can personally tell you that.
可卡因的平均价格 The average price of cocaine
在过去30年下降了70% has dropped 70% in the last 30 years.
然后卖家可能卖给你的是踩到的狗屎 Then your dealer's probably selling you some pretty stepped-on shit.
mcquaid同学 大学是个很好的地方 Mr. mcquaid, college is a wonderful place.
让你去决定你要成为什么样的人 This is where you get to decide who you actually are,
不是你现在假装出来的样子 instead of the person that you're clearly pretending to be right now,
每个人都顺便考虑一下 which everyone sees through, by the way.
你的决定是 我就做和以前一样的人 You got to decide, "do I just keep doing the same thing,
或者去选择不一样的人生道路 "or am I gonna choose a different path
质疑我的信念？ "and question my convictions?"
我没有任何前科 I don't have any prior convictions.
你为什么要说这些？ Why are you saying this stuff?
这就是我想要的回答 mcquaid同学 That's exactly the answer I wanted, Mr. mcquaid!
我想要你质疑我的话 I want you to question what I'm saying.
这是整个课程的依据 This is the basis of this whole course,
这就是大学的美妙之处 and that's the beauty of college.
你想说什么都行 You can say whatever you want.
你想成为什么都可以 You can be whatever you want.
我有任期 我可以说任何我想说的 I mean, I have tenure. I can really say whatever I want.
乔治·华盛顿是黑同性恋 George Washington was a black lesbian.
埃菲尔铁塔是人造阴茎 The eiffel tower is made of dildos.
他们不能解雇我 我坚不可摧 They can't fire me. I'm indestructible.
我睡了我的学生 I'm sleeping with two of my students.
她还有她 我确实睡了 Her and her. I actually am.
现在 就像你刚才做的 Now, just like you did before,
我想要让你说你想说的话 I want you right now to say whatever you want.
想说什么都行 Say whatever you want.
Fieto.
Fieto虽不是单词 不过我接受它 "Fieto," not a word, but I'm gonna accept it.
去走你真正想要的人生道路吧 mcquaid同学 You can do whatever you want with your life, Mr. mcquaid.
唯一让你这门课你不及格 The only way you can fail this class
就是你不去做真正的自己 is by not becoming who you truly are.
求你回复我的短信 Please respond to my text.
我们的时间只能够一个即兴表演 Male student: Okay, we got time for just one more improv game.
玩这个 我们需要很多建议 For this one, we need a ton of different suggestions.
只需要大家接应 So, we just need you guys to fill in the blank
我们的词句就行 in a sentence that we're gonna set up.
就像这样 我很饿 我希望我有... So it'll go like this. Oh, I'm so hungry, I wish I had a...
卫生棉条! -好吧但我们想要... Tampon! Okay, but we want...
我们需要的是食物 We want it to be actual food
这样 游戏才有意义 so that it, like, makes sense with the game.
这样就好玩了 我们再试一次 It's more fun that way. So, uh, let's try it one more time.
我要回家了 去喂我的 ...Oh, I've got to get home so I can feed my...
阴茎 Boner!
我们还是直击开始玩这个游戏吧 You know what? Let's just play the game, okay?
好的 你想要... Girl: All right, so what would you...
那姑娘跟我在同一个心里课上学习 Hey, that girl's in my psych class.
很正点 去和她搭讪啊 Damn, she's hot. Go talk to her.
你跟我一起去 You come talk to her with me.
别扭扭捏捏的 快去跟她搭讪去 Stop being a pussy and go talk to her. Go.
好的 好的 All right, all right.
到台上来 我们... Coming to the stage,we got...
我们在同一个心里课上学习 I think we're in the same psych class.
哦 对 嗨 Oh, yeah. Hi.
对 Yeah.
“药! 药! 账单! 药! "Pills! Pills! Bills! Pills!
账单! 一个时代的标志 很押韵 "Bills! A sign of the times that rhymes
阿曼达拜恩斯 "Amanda bynes
放下那破烂的安迪马戏团 "drop that raggedy Andy circus
混蛋玩意... "circle jerkus..."
你们是即兴的家伙 对吗？ - 对 You guys are the improv guys, right? Yeah.
很酷啊 That's cool.
就这家伙刚才捣乱 You're the guy with the terrible suggestions.
是我 是我 不用谢 Yeah, yeah. You're welcome, man. Yeah.
谢谢大家 下一位是J同学上来表演 Thanks, guys. Um, lady j is gonna be up next for you.
Cynthia 死掉的那个姑娘 Cynthia, that girl who died,
她经常来这是吗？ she used to come here all the time, right?
我的题目叫乳晕 This piece is called areolas.
你认识她吗？ Did you know her?
恩 她寝室跟我的隔一个过道 Yeah, she lived across the hall from me.
-哦？ -那你为嘛这么关心呢 Yeah? So why do you care so much?
我...我在写一个... I'm... I'm writing a...
贪婪的男人的手 "Greedy man hands!"
...纪念她的诗 ...a slam poem in her honor.
还在打草稿 创作阶段 Early stages, very early stages.
-哦 真的么？ -是的 嗯 Oh, really? Yeah, yeah.
这样会更好点 Wouldn't it be better
提前把内容写出来 just to, like, plan the stuff out ahead of time,
然后在众人面前说你就不会太尴尬 and then not say it in front of people and embarrass yourself?
那就是人们在做的 叫做即时喜剧 That's a thing that people do. That's stand-up comedy.
那可能是你应该做的 That's probably what you should do,
因为这种事情比较有意思 because that stuff's funny.
“哺乳期 我棕色的乳头 会分泌白色的乳汁” "My brown nipple will produce white milk during lactation..."
你觉得这个怎么样？ What do you think of this?
我确实觉得这个很有力量 I actually think it's really powerful.
很高兴你这么说 That's cool that you said that,
因为我也觉得这个很有力量 'cause I actually thought it was really powerful, too,
一个女孩谈论她的乳头 when the one girl was talking about her nips and shit.
好 还有没有其他人想跟大家来分享 Okay, does anybody have anything they want to share?
让我们看看你的吧 Let's see what you got.
观众们 还有诗歌么 Any more poets in the audience?
-我 我的意思是 -你真的有作诗么？ I... I mean do you really do poetry?
我有作 我会作的 I do, and I will.
这边有一位 -啊？ I got somebody. What?
好的 这边有一位 大家鼓掌欢迎 Okay, we got somebody. All right, give it up, guys.
-耶 -好吧 Yeah! Okay.
-快上台去 -好吧 好的 Just go up there. All right, okay.
-好的 -别有压力 Okay. No pressure.
-你看着 还不错哦 -耶 You'll see, it's good. Yeah!
这是一个还在创作阶段的作品 This is a work in progress.
所以 呃... So, uh...
说唱诗 "Slam poetry!
呼喊着 "Yelling!
愤怒着 "Angry!
尽情挥舞着我的手 "Waving my hands a lot!
关于某些事情的特殊视角 "Specific point of view on things
辛西娅 "Cynthia!
辛-西-娅 (Enunciating) "Cynthia
耶稣由于我们的罪孽而牺牲(辛西娅) "Jesus died for our sin-thee-uhs
耶稣哭泣着 "Jesus cried
落跑新娘 "runaway bride
茱莉亚-罗伯茨 "Julia Roberts!
茱莉亚抢劫了 "Julia rob
太伤心 "hurts
辛西娅 "Cynthia!
辛西娅 "Cynthia
你死了 你-死-了 "you're dead you are dead
你-死-了 "You're dead"
这首诗献给已死的 辛西娅 that's for Cynthia, who's dead.
我一点儿头绪也没有 I don't have a single lead.
我有 我听说在校园随时随地能得到whyphy I do. I hear you can get whyphy on campus anywhere 24/7.
你觉得他们说的whyphy是毒品 Do you think they mean whyphy the drug
还是像因特网wi-fi这种呢？ or wi-fi like the Internet?
真他妈白痴 Fuck you, brain.
为啥我们第一次 很容易就找到毒贩子了？ How did we find the dealers so easy the first time?
他的号码确实就写在便签上 Well, his number was literally on a sticker.
好吧 我们去找这个人的便签吧 Well, let's go find this guy's sticker.
我觉得这个人不会写便签 I don't think this guy does stickers.
好吧 我们需要帮助 我们需要咨询专家 Well, we need help. We need to consult an expert.
呦 兄弟 你一枪打到他命根了 Kenny: Yo, dude, you shot him in the dick, dude.
我打中他弟弟了 -耶 I got him in the dick. Yep.
一枪击中命根 "Shot him in the dick."
这不是福星与福将吗 If it isn't Turner and hooch, in the flesh.
天杀的 你身材不错嘛 Holy shit, you are looking fit.
嘿 你应该问这货点秘诀 Hey, you should get some tips from this guy.
他身材不错 看看这些胸肌 He's looking good. Look at those pectoral muscles.
兄弟 我想要你就是这样的身材 That's the kind of definition I want out of you, man.
-怎么样啊 Eric？ -嘿 What's up, Eric? Hey.
Waters先生 我们应该 呃... Mr. Walters, we should, um...
或者说 我应该 呃...道歉 因为... Or I should apologize for, uh...
把我的弟弟射掉了？ For shooting my penis off?
-对 -对 Yeah.Yeah.
别抱歉了 兄弟 我彻彻底底解放了 妥妥的 Don't sweat it, brother. I'm liberated. Totally.
你知不知道他们给我做了个阴道？ You know they gave me a vagina?
特别棒 你们要不要看看？ It's awesome. You guys want to see it?
-不 不 不 -不 不 不 No, no, no, no! No, no, no.
不看 好吧 Eric已经看过了 That's fine. All right. Eric's seen it.
Eric已经彻底无望了 是不是啊 Eric？ Eric's been all up in that shit. Isn't that right, Eric?
你们无论如何得把我弄出去 You guys got to get me the fuck out of here.
嘿 你们猜怎么着 Hey, guess what.
我是Eric的马子 I'm Eric's bitch.
不是 你不是 No, you're not.
是！我就是！ Yes! I am!
我是你的马子 I'm your bitch.
天啊 亲爱的 我很抱歉 Oh, my God. I'm so sorry, honey.
我刚才不是故意的 你明白的？ I didn't mean that. You know that, right?
我是马子 忍不住要炫耀一下 I am such a bitch when aunt flo shows up.
出了很多血 太疯狂了 It bleeds so much, it's crazy.
就像是闪闪发光打开了电梯门 It's like the elevator doors opening in the shining.
靠 哥们 你的阴道根本不能使 Your vagina doesn't fucking work, man.
昨儿晚上你不是使了吗 Worked for you last night. (Chuckles)
毫无疑问你在逼Eric发展这一段感情 You are so clearly forcing Eric into this relationship.
Eric 我逼你做任何事情了么？ Eric, am I forcing you into anything?
-是 -看见了吧？ Yes. (Chuckles) See?
是这样的 我们俩去大学里做卧底 Look, they sent us in undercover at a college
要找到最新合成毒品的毒贩子 to find the dealer of this new synthetic,
但是没人跟我们透露一点儿线索 and no one will tell us anything.
靠 那是因为你们俩看起来就像是缉毒警察 ？ That's 'cause you guys look like fucking narcs, all right?
大学里的孩子不跟Eric似的那么傻 College kids aren't dumb like Eric.
我本来是可以去伯克利大学的 I was supposed to go to Berkeley.
他们给了我们一张照片 我们就只有这个 Well, they gave us a picture, so we do have that.
那就是你们的线索 混账玩意儿 Well, that's your lead motherfucker!
就从这里开始 That's what you start with.
我知道 但是我哦们看不到他的脸 不知道他是谁 I know, but we can't see his face, so we don't know who it is.
我们不知道他是谁 "We don't know who it is.
我是Schimidt 我裤子里都是屎 "I'm schmidt. My pants are filled with doody."
那是你 (Groans) That's you.
那可一点儿也不像我 That doesn't sound anything like me.
有几分像你 You sort of sound like that.
一点儿也不像我 That doesn't sound anything like me.
没有不像你 It's not not you.
一点儿也不像我 That doesn't sound anything like me.
Eric 闭上眼睛 告诉我们现在说话的是谁 Eric! Close your eyes and tell me who's talking right now.
（胡言乱语状） (Babbling)
Schmidt像婊子一样在发牢骚 That's schmidt being a little bitch.
这绝对不是一个好印象 That's just not a good impression.
干得好 超级警探 Nice job, super sleuths.
你们究竟有没有费心看过这张该死的照片？ Did you even bother to look at the fucking picture?
-有啊 -嗯？ Yeah. Huh?
这儿有个倒影 There's a reflection right here.
你们要找的这个人有纹身 Your fucking guy's got a tattoo.
找到这个纹身 就找到这个毒贩了 Find the tattoo, find the dealer.
靠 兄弟 我不知道 我给很多醉酒的小屁孩儿做过白痴纹身 Fuck, man, I don't know. I do a lot of stupid tattoos to drunk kids.
那你记不记得这个白痴纹身？ Do you remember that stupid tattoo?
火箭炮？ Tattoo artist: A bazooka?
记得好像是给一个运动员做过一个 Think I might have did it on a football player.
留着红莫西干头型 分不出来 Guy with a red mohawk. I don't know.
他们对我而言都是一样的 They all start to look the same to me.
我觉得我清楚他说的是谁 I think I know exactly who he's talking about.
去你的！ Fuck you!
去你的 你个小跑龙套的白痴 Fuck you, you little walk-on fuck!
穿着这些东西 根本没法活动 I can't, like, move around in these things.
天 我喜欢跑龙套的一天 Rooster: God, I love walk-on day!
靠 爽啊 (Whispers) Fuck, yeah.
用棉签的奇怪时间 That's a weird time to be q-tipping.
他妈的都是废物 You're all fucking pussies!
-兄弟 你不用非得这么做 -啥？ Dude, you don't have to do this. What?
-我不想你受伤 -我不会... I just don't want you to get hurt. I'm not gonna get...
哥们 我真的很抱歉 Dude, I am so sorry.
没事 哥们 别放在心上 It's all right, man. Don't worry about it, man.
-你确定？ -没事...啊哦 Are you sure? All right... Yeah. Ow.
-见鬼 -我来吧 Shit. I got it.
-好 我来 -我来 Okay, I got it, I got it.
啊！没事 Ow! That's fine.
-我来吧 -不不不 让我来 我来 I'll get it. No, no, let me get it, let me get it.
-不不 我拿到了 -让我来 让我来 No, I got it. Let me just get it. No, let me get it.
-我拿到了 拿到了 -让我们... I got it, I got it. Let's just...
哥们 抱歉 我棉签掉你肉上了 Dude, I'm sorry. I got my q-tip in your meat, bro.
不不 哥们 我的肉沾到你的棉签了 No, man, I got my... I got my meat in your q-tip.
这就像是一个新型的三明治 It's like a whole new type of sandwich.
像是 肉棉签 Like, a meat q-tip. (Chuckles)
就像肉签 Like a meat-qute.
有意思 That's funny.
嘿 兄弟们 有人想要这种三明治么？ Hey, you guys want some of this sandwich?
这是肉签三明治 It's a meat-qute sandwich.
我和这哥们做了肉签 Me and this guy are having a meat-qute. (Laughing)
你很幽默 兄弟 你叫什么名字 You're hilarious, dude. What's your name?
Brad 等下 Brad. Wait... Brad.
是 就是Brad Uh, yeah, yeah, it's Brad.
-我是Zook -很高兴认识你 Zook I'm zook. Nice to meet you. Zook.
我也很高兴认识你 兄弟 Nice to meet you, too, man.
蓝色20 Zook: Blue 20!
蓝色 20 Blue 20!
预备 开始 Set, hut!
你现在喜欢跑龙套的日子喽？ You love walk-on day now?
你胳膊还好吧？要不要把袖子脱下来 Your arm all right? You want to take that sleeve off?
不用 我很好 No, I'm good.
天呢 兄弟 接的真心不错 Dude, holy shit, bro. Great fucking catch, dude.
你那么远能看见安全线 应该早点告诉我 If you see that safety line up that deep, though, hit me quicker.
哦 对 我不知道你是朝那个方向的 哥们 Oh, yeah, I didn't know you had wheels like that, bro.
很有趣 因为他是我的兄弟 所以... It's funny, 'cause he's my brother. So...
嘿 知道吗 我们在Zeta有个派对 Hey, uh, you know, we have this rush party at zeta.
我想 你可以过来 跟其他人认识认识 but I thought, you know, you could come by and meet the guys.
会很好玩的 It'd be really fun, I think.
-好的 -恩 我们可能会去 Great. Yeah, maybe we will.
你们俩是在一起的么？ Are you guys, like, together?
-是 -对 这是我兄弟 Yeah. Yeah, this is my bro.
那...真搞 兄弟 你很幽默 (Laughing) That's... Funny, dude. You're funny.
额 真的么？哇哦 好 Uh, really? Wow. Um, okay.
哥们 当然 你也 你也可以来 Yeah, man, sure. You, too, you can come, too.
我们会看情况的 We'll see what we can do.
我之前也说了一堆 Also, I said a bunch of stuff earlier
你没留心... that you didn't acknowledge...
接的不错 - 酷 Great catch. Cool, yeah.
-回见 -所以你不回应？ See you then. So you won't address that?
那个家伙怎么回事？ What the fuck's up with that guy?
我们要做的就是混进他们的兄弟会 All we have to do now is rush the frat long enough
找到那个有火箭炮纹身的家伙 to confirm that rooster has that bazooka tattoo.
看 哥们 你觉得你来好吗？ Look, man, do you think it's cool if you come?
因为 我的意思是 他好像是只邀请了我 'Cause, I mean, he kind of really just asked me.
我只是不想开始 I just don't want to start off
留下不好的印象和那家伙 on the wrong foot with this guy.
哥们 你梦游呢 我们做任何事都是一起的啊 Dude, you're tripping. We do everything together.
不过你确实不该带Puka珠串 You should lose the puka shells, though.
自从你来大学之后变了很多 Things are different since you didn't go to college.
呦 Brad 你怎么样 兄弟？ Yo, Brad! What's up, dude?
一样的珠串啊 兄弟 Same puka, dude.
你也有同样的啊 You got the same... Puka bros.
太棒了 Zook: Holy shit! (Both laughing)
哎 你看看 咱俩什么都一样 Look at him, it's, like, all the same.
哥们 你也穿这个裤子啊？ Dude, you wear pants, too?
-啥？哥们 - 兄弟 What? Bros, man. Dude.
我就知道我们很玩的来 就像这样 I knew we were gonna be connected, just like that.
是啊 -你们俩怎么不把小弟弟栓一起 Yeah, why don't you guys just tie your dicks together
然后去结婚啊 高冷仔 and get married, right, rooster?
Rooster 怎样啊 兄弟？ Rooster. What's up, bro?
你看来不错 哥们 You look good, man.
你怎么样Rooster？ What's up, rooster?
你好吗 兄弟？ -戴珠串了 How you doing, man? Digging the puka.
谢谢 兄弟 -我真不相信是一样的... Thanks, dude. I can't believe it's the same...
rooster 你怎样？ How you doing, rooster?
Rooster 懂点潮流 Rooster is getting some pop.
你怎么不去找他聊聊？ Why don't you go check him out?
你嗨了吗 伙计？ - 肯定嗨了 伙计 Jenko: You in the zone, bro? Zook: In the fucking zone, dude.
嘿 你怎么样？ Hey. What's up?
嘿 我是Rooster What's up? I'm rooster.
哦 耶 不是 Oh, yeah, no.
我们之前见过 We've met before.
哦 是么？我一点儿也不记得 Oh, really? I don't remember that at all.
你一定长了一副大众脸 You must just have a really plain face.
对 他们都叫我大众脸 Yeah. They call me ol' plain face.
他们这么叫你么？ They call you that?
你身体上有没有什么艺术标记 或墨迹 好让我辨认是你？ So, do you have any body art or, like, any ink I could see?
真奇特的问题 That's a pretty random question.
无论怎样 非常高兴跟你交谈 哥们 Hey, anyway, it was so nice chatting with you, man.
很高兴认识你 兄弟 Nice to meet you, man.
靠 你干啥 老兄 Yo, what the fuck, bro?
你他妈干嘛呢 哥们？ Yo, what the fuck are you doing, dude?
你现在认真的？-你... You serious right now? You...
你很奇怪 You're being weird.
你一直都很奇怪 You've been weird.
就像是“我听见什么了” Jenko: It was just like, "what am I hearing?
我现在在听什么啊 "What am I hearing right now?"
那个神经病告诉你这些？ And the psychic told you that?
-是的 特别疯狂 兄弟 -呦 Yo. That is so crazy, dude.
嘿 哥们 你要不要上楼顶看看 Hey, dude, you want to go see the roof?
靠 我想上楼顶看看 -哥们 Fuck yeah, I want to see the roof, dude.
来 我们上去吧 来啊 Come on, let's go, let's go. Come on.
去楼顶 来吧去楼顶 来 Come on to the roof, come on to the roof. Let's go.
加油 你能做到的 加油 加油 Jenko: Come on, you can do it. Come on, come on, come on!
我好怀念攀爬啊 来 上来 I miss climbing so much. Come on, let's go. Come on.
好 呃... All right, uh...
再来一次 One more time.
我先回去了 I'm just gonna go home.
我不懂跑酷 所以... I don't know parkour, so...
好吧 All right.
嘿 玛雅·安吉罗（诗人） Hey, Maya angelou!
诗歌 好吧 我懂了 Poetry, okay. I got it. (Chuckles)
取笑诗歌专业 Make fun of the poetry major.
我猜 你没什么兴趣 So, I guess you have no interest
以后做一份平常工作 in having a real job in the future.
-绝对没兴趣 -没有 是吧？ Absolutely not. No, right?
那你呢？ (Both laugh) What about you?
呃 我艺术专业的 Um, I'm an art major.
哦 这样的话你绝对不能随便胡说 因为... Okay. So you definitely cannot talk any shit, 'cause...
是的 我不能 我不能 No, I can't. I cannot.
...你会永远赚不到钱 ...you're never gonna make any money. (Laughs)
我绝对赚不到钱 I'm never gonna make any money,
所以不要告诉我的父母 但是... so don't tell my parents, but...
要是我今晚跟你父母聊天 When I talk to your parents tonight,
我不会告诉他们你的专业 I will not tell them about your major.
-好 谢谢 -不客气 Okay, thank you. You're welcome.
好的 艺术专业 All right, art major.
这个东西 你有什么感想 What do you think about that?
呃 我会说那 Um, I would say that
这是两个人 it's these two beings
相互支撑达到完全平衡的状态 leaning up against each other in perfect balance.
如果一个倒掉 他们就会失去彼此 If one were to fall, they would just lose each other.
这是关于互相支持的 So it's just about support.
你就不能说这玩意儿就像睾丸？ You can't admit that it looks exactly like testicles?
就是像那个东西 (Laughing) That's exactly what it looks like.
那 有没有哪个人在支持着你呢？ So, is there someone who supports you?
不 我是那种 No, I'm just one of those people
喜欢自己一个人待着的人 that really likes to spend time with myself.
跟我说说看 Tell me about it.
我喜欢一个人呆这 我的最爱 I love to be alone. I am, like, the best at it.
我就是喜欢那种 坐在房间里 I just love when you're sitting there in a room,
只有你和你的思想 and you're just there with your thoughts,
然后 你意识到“哦 天啊 我是一个人” and you're like, "oh, my gosh, I'm alone.
“会有人爱我么？”或其他 "Would anyone ever love me?" Or whatever.
“会有任何人会在乎我吗？” And, like, "do I know anyone who would care
“我是不是从这个房间里出去” "if I just ever came out of this room or not?"
或是其他东西 就这样... Or whatever and, like...
我也说不明白 很平静 就喜欢 I don't know. It's just peaceful. I just like it.
好 如果你今晚不想一个人 Well, if you don't want to be alone tonight,
我们可以去艺术大楼转转 we are gonna go hang out at the art building,
如果你想来的话 if you want to come.
好的 好的 Okay, okay.
我去 我去 Okay. Okay.
我以为今晚会以和预料不一样 I expected tonight would go in a way that you wouldn't expect,
但是我没有想到的是今晚 but what I didn't expect was tonight would go
是和我的预期一样 in the exact way that you would expect.
-你懂我的意思吗？ -妥妥的 You know what I mean? Totally.
你们经常在这儿玩？ So you guys hang out here a lot?
是 我们对兄弟会派对那些东西不是很感兴趣 Yeah. I mean, we're not into the whole frat party kind of stuff.
我们喜欢坐下来 只是喝点好酒 We like to sit around, just drink some good wine
然后谈论点些重要的话题 and talk about some important stuff.
上姑娘 然后整天喝的烂醉 Banging bitches and getting wasted all fucking day.
这就是我最喜欢做的两件事 Those are, like, two of my favorite things to do.
你就像是 稍微欠缺一点儿吸引力的... ou are, like, a slightly less attractive version of...
-毕加索？ -毕加索 Picasso? Picasso.
是吧？以前有人这么说过 Right? I've been told that before.
哦 那就是Cynthia Watson的房间 Oh, that's Cynthia Watson's room.
现在才2点 我还以为已经很晚了 你要进来么 It's only 2:00. I thought it was late. Do you want to come in?
才2点？我通常凌晨2点才吃晚饭 所以... It's only 2:00? I usually go to dinner at, like, 2:00 A.M., so...
当然 耶 为什么不呢 Sure, yeah, why not?
我想这么做 我要以正确的角度进去 Rooster: I'm gonna do it. I just got to get it at the right angle.
-兄弟 停下来吧 -操你妈的球门柱 Dude, stop. Rooster: Stupid fucking goalpost!
不可能的 你撞不到那球门柱的 It's impossible. You can't fucking do it.
每次赢球后球迷跑到操场 The fans used to rush the field
然后就把球门柱拆了 after every win and tear down the goalposts,
教练很生气 就想办法把球门柱给固定了 and coach hated it. And so he cemented them in.
他们像风暴一样卷过操场 还想那样 They storm the field, and still do it,
现在他们只能跳来跳去 but they just bounce around.
去你的球门柱 兄弟 Rooster: Fuck this goalpost, bro!
你们俩要抓稳了 You guys might want to hold on,
因为这东西要到了 'cause this shit is coming down.
-呦 那是啥啊 纹身 就在那 Yo, what is that? The tattoo, what's that right there?
哦 这个么？嗯... Oh. Oh, this? Mmm-hmm.
这是我以前高中的校队 是普莱恩维尤红鲱鱼 It's my old high school team. The plainview red herrings.
看看还能游泳 Look at it swim.
-靠 -咋了 Shit. What?
靠 还真是不寻常啊 Shit, that's a really outside-of-the-box
高中吉祥物 high school mascot.
抓紧了兄弟们 Hold on, guys.
嘿 你今天怎么没来训练场？ Zook: Hey, why don't you come to practice today?
很明显 你在队里表现很不错 I mean, you're obviously good enough to play on the team.
其实 我本来不应该在这玩球的 Look, I'm not supposed to be here to play football.
怎么？ What?
我来这儿是为了完成任务的 I'm just here to do my assignments
然后回去 就是这样 and get out, that's it.
我说 学业是很重要 或是无所谓 I mean, yeah, school's important or whatever,
但是 当我给你传球的时候 but when I was throwing you those passes,
就像是 你去那儿之前我就知道你会去那 it was like I knew where you were gonna be before you went there.
知道吗 我幻想 You know, I had this,
我把球传给你 兄弟 like, vision of me throwing bullet tds to you, dude,
然后所有的球迷开始叫喊... and then all these fans just started going, like...
"Zook! Mcquaid! Zook! Mcquaid!"
他们就在那喊呀叫呀 And they were chanting and chanting,
然后球门柱就倒了 and then the goalposts came down.
哥们？ Dude?
我 也有过这样的愿景 我一直都有 I have had that exact vision, like, my entire life.
-哥们 -哥们 Dude. Dude.
-兄弟 -兄弟 Bro? Bro.
-哥们 -兄弟 Dude. Bro.
哥们 Both: Dude.
我们肯定可以啊 兄弟 Like, well, we fucking can, bro.
你所要做的就是加入球队 All you gotta do is join the team.
是啊 为什么不呢？ Yeah. Why not?
就是这样！ Yes!
太好了 - 太好了 兄弟 Fuck yeah, dude. Fuck yeah, dude.
那是什么东西？ What's that?
我的纹身 My tattoo.
靠 来看看 Yeah, fuck, look.
看 这是我 Zook Look, it's me, zook.
胳膊上有个该死的火箭炮 懂我的意思么？ Got a fucking bazooka for an arm. Know what I mean?
兄弟 我太兴奋了 Dude, I'm so fucking pumped
你能加入到球队里 you're gonna be on this fucking team, bro.
感觉怎么样？ What's up with it?
你还好吧？ How you doing?
早安 很好 Hi. Good.
那个怎么样... How was the, um...
我的表现你还满意吗？ How was the sex for you?
对我来说很好 很愉悦 It was fun for me. It was a good time.
是 对 Yeah, right.
我很享受之中 enjoyed it.
是啊 Yeah.
这就是为什么我从不喝酒 This is why I don't drink.
嘿 你好啊？ Hey. How you doing?
我很好 I'm fine.
我的意思是 我没有整晚上听你们俩私语 I mean, I'm not listening to you guys fornicate all night long.
来回的活塞运动 Thrusting and pumping.
我想你的屁股在某一时刻都快甩掉了 I thought your hip popped out at one point.
我是说 看起来像是很好玩的游戏 I'm just saying, it's, like, all fun and games,
早上醒来邻床有个40岁的大一新生 and then you wake up in bed next to a 40-year-old freshman.
我只有19岁 所以... I'm 19, so...
去玩Pinochle游戏晚了19分钟？ Nineteen minutes late to pinochle,
你在公园哪里和你的老友们碰面 where you're meeting your old friends in the park?
对 那就是我的意思 Yeah, that's what I meant.
哦 天呐 Maya 你看看他 Oh, my gosh, Maya, look at him.
还那么犀利 太鼓舞人心了 He's still so sharp. That's so inspiring.
给我们说一下经历的战争吧 哪个都行 Tell us about the war, any one of them.
你的高潮呻吟是我听过的最糟糕 You're, like, the loudest climaxer I've ever heard.
就像是30年头的洒水车 It was, like, the sound of, like, a 30-year-old sprinkler
终于第一次爆发了 finally going off for the first time.
好了 特别喜欢跟你聊天 Okay, well, so lovely talking with you. (Sighs)
你是个很可爱的人 You're a lovely person. Hmm.
很高兴认识你 Nice to meet you.
哦 天呐 Oh, my God.
她看起来不坏 She seems nice. (Door closes)
她糟透了 She's horrible.
天呐 God.
她曾经是Cynthia的室友 She was Cynthia's roommate,
我觉得她很可怜 就叫她跟我住在一起 and I felt bad for her, so I told her I would room with her.
就这样 So...
你应该有一大堆事情 So you probably have a bunch of stuff
要今天去做吧 that you have to do today.
-有吗？ -没有 Right? No.
哦 好吧 Oh. Okay.
我只是想让你知道 Look, I just want you to know
我不是那种 上完就走的人 I'm not, like, a "hit it and quit it" type of fella.
我是那种 上完 I'm, like, a "hit it,
继续身体和情感上接着交流的人 所以... "continue to hit it both physically and emotionally" kind of guy, so...
嘿 Doug 这样你不会觉得奇怪的 ？ Hey, Doug, you're not gonna be weird about this, are you?
不会 No.
对这种只随便玩玩能接受吧？ I mean, you're cool with just hooking up?
耶 我很高兴你能这么看的开... Yeah. I mean, no. I mean, I'm glad you said something.
因为 我都不知道当时我是不是清醒 'Cause I don't even know if I like you when I'm sober.
我知道 就像是 No, I know, and it's like,
一点儿也没感觉到受伤 一点儿也没 that doesn't even hurt, like, at all.
好的 那么... Okay, so, um...
我要...我要溜了 我以后联系了 I'm gonna... I'm gonna split. I'll text you later.
很棒 特别棒性爱 你技术很好 Great, that was great sex. You're good at it.
我会短息联系你 3到5分钟或怎样？ And I'll text you, three to five minutes or something?
好的 (Door opens) All right.
这他妈到底是什么？ what the fuck is this?
太鸡巴扯了 This is bullshit.
你两个是不是又在学校乱搞了？ Are you two fucking around at school again?
嘿 我们要对这些东西买单的 Hey, we got to pay for this shit.
-我们需要结果 -不不不 We need results! No, no, no.
看 我们在极力寻找 Look, we are looking aggressively
这个特别的纹身 for this very specific tattoo.
或者这个纹身就是死路一条 Or the tattoo could just be a dead end.
什么乱七八糟的？这还是同样的案子 What the fuck? It's the same case!
做一样的事 Do the same thing.
这严格上说不是同样案子 因为 Well, it's not exactly the same case, 'cause
我们俩其中一个昨晚上跟人上床了 one of us got laid last night.
Schmidt?
嘘 Shh.
别把我的小弟弟吵醒了 Don't wake up my dick.
玩红了眼 根本没睡觉 Flew in on the red-eye, hasn't gotten a wink of sleep.
靠 Damn.
我们在说任务 We're talking missionary.
当我在上面 她背对着我 We're talking when I'm on top and she's on her back.
她很聪明 艺术系的 She's smart, she's an art major.
她也不是多聪明 就他妈是个艺术生 She can't be that smart. She's a fucking art major.
拜托 Come on.
我给你点鼓励 Schmidt I will give you some daps, schmidt.
给我点鼓励 老大 Give me some motherfucking daps, man!
来嘛 给我点儿 Come on, give me some.
我的人类性学烦死我了 Jenko: My human sexuality class is blowing my mind.
你知道我高中时候侮辱过基佬么？ Did you know I used gay slurs in high school?
是的 直接对我说的 Yes, directed at me.
伙计 我很抱歉当时自说自话 Dude, I am so sorry for being a homophone.
我们要谈谈今天 你对Dickson为嘛这么奇怪吗？ Are we gonna talk about how weird you were today with dickson?
是这样 我觉得那个纹身不是什么重点 Look, I don't think the tattoo means what you think it means.
据我们所知 很多人都有那样的纹身 I mean, for all we know, a lot of people could have that tattoo.
这个纹身 这个荒谬的特别的纹身？ This tattoo? This absurdly specific tattoo?
给我说说还是谁有这样的纹身 Name one other person who has this.
首先 Zook就有 For starters, zook has it.
Zook 有那个纹身？ Zook has the tattoo?
我觉得没什么大不了的 I think it's not problem
我靠 我们找这个纹身 找了好几天了 What the fuck? We've been looking for this tattoo for days!
你明白这个意味着zook就是卖家吗? Do you understand this means zook is the dealer?
我很希望你们俩能相处的好 I really want you guys to hang out.
我是想好好相处 可他完全无视我 We have hung out. He's completely ignored me.
很抱歉 不过我们一定要调查你的新基友 I'm sorry, but we're gonna have to investigate your new bff.
我们要部署摄像头 We're gonna put cameras everywhere,
我们要监控他在干些什么 and we're gonna monitor the fuck out of what he's doing.
我们不能随便就走进zeta的房子 We can't just walk into zeta house
然后安装一大堆摄像头 好吗？ and just put up a bunch of fucking cameras, okay?
那到处是他们的人 There's dudes there everywhere.
行了 你的计划太烂 很抱歉 All right, your plan is stupid. I'm sorry.
我的计划太烂 有意思 -... 好 My plan is stupid? That's interesting. What... okay.
好像这样就行了 I'm, like, basically done
从早到晚一直就这么看着 fucking watching your shit all the fucking time.
好 对 我是愚蠢的那个 是我 Okay, yeah, exactly. I'm the fucking stupid one. Yeah.
伙计 这样的不同 在一起一定很难 Man, it must be hard being so different.
我们俩完全一样 使得做什么事都很容易 We're exactly the same. It makes everything so much easier.
伙计们 能不能给我们一些空间 Guys, can you just give us some space?
我们需要解决一些问题 We're really trying to figure something out,
我们需要集中 好吗 and we need to focus, okay?
你集中不会有问题的 伙计 You're not gonna have trouble focusing, man.
是啊 伙计 这些零食里加了whyphy Yeah, man, those krispie treats got mad whyphy in them.
我们给整个宿舍都发了 Kenny: We made a batch for the whole dorm, man.
我吃了这样的六块 I've eaten six of these.
那你回你会很专注 - 很专注 Kenny: Then you're gonna be real focused. Keith: Be real focused.
四小时里你会梦游仙境 In about four hours, you're gonna be tripping.
你会没事的 伙计 You're fine. You're gonna be all right, man.
谁卖给你的whyphy? Who sold you whyphy?
没人卖给我们 Nobody sold it to us.
Cynthia给我们的 作为交换 Yeah, man, Cynthia gave us a butt load,and in exchange,
我们给她写了逻辑论文 we wrote her logic paper for her.
行了 行了 我们等会见 All right. All right, man, we'll see you guys later.
享用食物吧 Enjoy the food.
也许这是好事 Maybe this is a good thing. (Door closes)
我们利用这个专注想办法潜入zook的房子 let's use that focus to figure out a way to get into zook's house.
你有感觉了吗 - 没有 你呢？ You feel anything? No. Do you feel anything?
没有 我有很强的耐药性 No, but I have a super high tolerance for...
我现在很专注 I'm so focused.
我也很专注 I'm so focused, too.
你没必要压在我上面 You don't have to be on top of me.
很有必要 Yes, I do.
为什么 - 伪装 Why? Camouflage.
走 Go.
我们走 Let's go.
绝对不行 Male student: No fucking way.
所以 Dane不行 - 对 Okay, so no? Dane? All right.
踢出 好了 Out, all right.
靶心 Bull's-eye. Bingo.
头盔看起来很差劲 That helmet looks kind of lame.
你知道什么不差劲吗？ You know what's not lame?
安全 Safety.
你干吗？ What are you doing?
切玻璃 I'm cutting glass.
那是激光灯 It's a laser pointer.
不能切玻璃 - 什么？ It can't cut glass. What?
一点也不好玩 That's no fun at all.
我很专注 - 开干吧 I'm so focused. Let's do this.
再给我一个 - 我没有摄像头了 Give me another. I don't have any more cameras.
你不用钻这么多的洞 好吗 You don't need to drill so many holes. Yeah, okay.
耶 这个很完美 你可以放这里 Yeah, that one's perfect. Okay, you can do that one.
我没有摄像头了 我都给你说五次了 I don't have any more cameras. I've said it five times.
好了 这是最后的工作 All right. Okay. That's the last of 'em.
是时候验证zook就是卖家了 Time to prove that zook's the dealer.
或者不是卖家 Jenko: Or not the dealer.
下一个是Brad mcquaid Next up is Brad mcquaid.
通过？好 (All agreeing) Right? Yes.
很明显 这家伙... Obviously, right? I mean, the guy's...
老实说 这家伙一直创造记录 伙计们 The guy's all-time. You guys, let's be honest.
例如 他可以用眼睛开啤酒盖 I mean, like, he was opening up beer cans with his eyeballs.
他们挺不错的吧 That's so sweet of them.
那Brad就加入了 So Brad... Brad's in.
那Doug Mcquaid呢 -不行 MUh, Doug mcquaid. No!
他是个大蠢蛋 He's a bag of dicks!
他是Brad的兄弟 He's Brad's brother.
他就像他哥的跟屁虫 He follows him around everywhere,
我们要是只要Brad 不要Doug的话 so I doubt we get Brad without Doug.
不是这样的 我是有正式女朋友 That's not true. I have a serious girlfriend.
伙计 我觉得这家伙很糟糕 -为什么这样说 I got a bad feeling about this guy, dude.- Why? Why?
我和他打过几次交道 I was talking to him for a second.
他是个大嘴巴 He's got a big mouth,okay?
我觉得他会把我们的事说出去 I feel like he could fuck this whole thing up for us.
你看 你把这事搞砸了 你的话太多 See, you're fucking this up. You talk way too much.
那家伙没恶意 你看他 挺好的 That guy is harmless, dude. Look at him, he's nice.
他看起来就像个30岁的中学生 Rooster: He looks like a 30-year-old eighth grader.
他不会有问题的 Zook: He's gonna be fine.
我就说说 他挺讨人厌的 I'm just saying, the kid sucks.
那个Brad Brad可以成我们的人 and Brad. Brad could be, like, our guy.
他可以成为我们的一个一员 He could, like, be a part of our thing.
我们一员？ "Our thing"?
嘘 我在听他们怎么夸我 Shh. I'm trying to hear them be nice about me.
完全是扯淡 见鬼 This is fucking bullshit. Shit!
糟糕 Shit.
有人在上面吗？ Is somebody up there?
完了 我们快走 Shit. We got to get out of here.
你锁好门了没 Did you lock the door?
锁好了 我检查了两遍 I did, man. I checked twice.
快走 Go, go!
该死的 Shit.
我感觉很过瘾 I thank this is awesome
你只是很紧张 因为我们马上要产生幻觉了 No, you're just paranoid because we're about to trip balls.
不是的 我紧张是因为很危险 No, I'm paranoid because it could be dangerous.
我们没事了 你看 我们成功了 No, we're fine. Look, we made it.
我们成功了 一切顺利 We made it. It's all good.
噢 妈的 Schmidt: Oh, shit!
救命啊 救命啊 Help! Help!
发生了什么 What's happening!
什么情况？ Jenko: What the fuck?
我没法呼吸了 Jenko: (Panting) I can't breathe.
他们抓到了我们 They made us!
他们会杀了我们的 They're gonna kill us!
Jenko!
你要去哪儿 Where are you going?
我们应该产生幻觉了 I think we're tripping!
哦 卧槽 我产生的幻觉太可怕了 Oh, fuck! I'm having a bad trip! We're having a bad trip!
我觉得我们还好啊 I think we are tripping, but...
天啊 这不挺好的吗 God, isn't this great?
我这比你那边恐怖多了 My side's so much scarier than yours.
哦 我去 你那边太糟糕了 Oh, shit, your trip sucks.
你应该到这边来 这边更好 You should come over here. It's way better.
好的 Okay.
这儿好像有个奇怪的隔离屏障 It's some kind of weird split screen!
你好 橄榄球 Hello, football.
Jenko!
我终于有兰博基尼了 I finally got my lambo!
嘿 Schmidt 你看 Hey, schmidt, look!
快看啊 Look! Look! (Laughing)
我的腿好累啊 My legs are tired.
救命啊 不要再放音乐了 Help! No more music!
你将永远一个人 You'll always be alone.
嘿 Jenko - 怎么了 Hey, jenko. What?
你要去哪儿 Where are you going?
我去上面看看 好吗 I'm just gonna go up for a little while, okay?
别走 呆在这儿 Stay, stay here.
我不想呆在这儿 我飞起来了 太过瘾了 No, I don't want to stay here. I'm flying. This is amazing.
不 老天 不要走 No. God. Don't go!
哦 我的天啊 Oh, my God.
不要啊 No!
不要走 - 不行 住手 Stay here! No, no, stop it.
你把我拽下来了 你为什么要拽我下来 You're dragging me down! Why would you drag me down?
快回来 -我飞起来了 Please stay! I'm flying.
别走啊 Stay!
醒醒 快从车里出来 - 完了 Wake up! Get out of the car! Shit.
快点下车 趴在地上 Get out of the car! Get on the ground!
给我跪下 On your fucking knees!
快给我跪下 Get on your knees!
你们已经知道了 是不是？ -知道什么？ You already know, don't you? What?
你还有什么话要说的 Do you have anything to say?
请别杀了我们 Please don't kill us.
如果你没什么话要说 If you don't have anything to fucking say,
那就把你的嘴张开 open your fucking mouth.
搞什么鬼 What the fuck?
这是伏特加吗 Is that vodka?
欢迎来到 zeta 伙计 Welcome to zeta, pledges! (Laughing)
太棒了 哥们 Yeah, buddy!
伙计 今晚 我们要挑选强者 淘汰弱者 Pledges, tonight, we separate the weak from the strong.
如果你们今晚没能挺过去 If you don't make it through tonight,
你们全都会玩完 you're dead to all of us.
Rooster
点燃火炬 light the torch!
为了zeta For zeta!
快喝 他妈的混蛋 快喝 他妈的混蛋 All: (Chanting) Drink, motherfucker! Drink, motherfucker!
快喝 他妈的混蛋 快喝 他妈的混蛋 Drink, motherfucker! Drink, motherfucker!
听着 不管今晚发生什么 你都要坚持下去 好吗 Look, whatever happens tonight, you have to keep up, okay?
我快要吐了 I'm gonna throw up.
我知道 闭嘴 继续喝 I know. Shut up. Go.
准备好了没 开始 Zook: Ready? Go!
我们开始 Here we go, here we go.
1 2 3 4 5 One, two, three, four, five...
我不行了 我真的受不了了 I can't do it anymore! I can't do it anymore!
20秒就是记录 Twenty's the record!
33 34 Thirty-three, 34... (Groaning)
67...
你可以的 你能做到 You can do this, you can do this.
我不行了 这太恶心了 I can't. This is disgusting.
你必须行 - 我再也受不了了 No, you got to. I can't do this anymore!
现在 轮到我最喜欢的项目了 And now, for my favorite event. (Squealing)
靠 我不干了 Fuck this. I'm not doing this.
我不干了 -不要走 I'm not doing it. What are... no!
我不干了 还不行吗 I'm not doing this, okay? All right?
嘿 Hey!
Schmidt 你搞什么？ Schmidt! What the fuck, man?
你怎么回事 你不是说你想一起的吗 What is your problem? You said you wanted to stick together.
我们必须这么做才能赢得他们的信任 This is what we have to do to win their trust.
这很好玩 就只是喝酒玩游戏 This is supposed to be fun. It's just drinking and bonding games.
很好玩 It's fun.
你觉得好玩 我不觉得 It's fun for you. It's not fun for me.
我不知道 也许我们应该... I don't know. Maybe we should just...
也许我们应该去调查别人 Maybe we should just investigate different people.
你真这么觉得吗 Did you really just say that?
你真的这么说 你想去调查别人 Did you really just say that you want to investigate other people?
这就是你想要的？ That's what you want?
我不知道 也许吧 I don't know, maybe.
也许我们应该... 应该分开行动 Maybe we should just... We should just branch out.
对 我们广撒网 Okay, just sow our oats a little.
分散警察的种子 Sow our cop oats.
你看 Zook对我很信任 Look, I have an in with zook.
我们之间有种东西 感觉很不错 We have a thing and it's good, and...
我也不知道 或许我应该和他更亲近点 I don't know, maybe I should just stay closer to him.
你应该去做你的事 And you should do your thing
继续追踪你的线索 with your connections and channels
Cynthia的室友 with Cynthia's roommate.
看她是否知道谁卖给的她毒品 You should see if she knows who sold her drugs.
我只是 ... 我只是不... I just... I just don't...
我不喜欢我们分开行动 I don't like the idea of us doing stuff separately.
不是的 我们还是继续调查 No, look, we can still investigate
一起调查 together.
你懂的 只是一起的话 要公开调查 It's just, you know, now it'll be an open thing.
你想公开调查？ You want an open investigation?
我不知道 这是不是我想要的 I don't know if that's what I want.
我只是觉得 现在是时候去试试了 All right? I just think it's healthy right now for us to try it.
好的 Okay.
是吗 -当然 Yeah? Sure.
好的 那我等会去找你 Okay, so I guess I'll just catch you later, then.
你还好吗 You okay?
不 你现在不能抱我 No, you can't hug me right now.
那你需要钱坐车或其他什么吗 Do you need money for a cab or anything?
不用 我不需要钱坐车 No, I don't need money for a cab.
好吧 Okay.
我都不知道我他妈的这是在哪 I don't know where the fuck I am right now.
嘿 Lauren Hey, Lauren.
我只想一整天躺在床上看老友记 I just want to get in bed and watch friends all day.
让我们听听 为你们州立大学statesmen队的欢呼声 Announcer: Let's hear it for your metropolitan city state statesmen!
他们上场了 Bob: And the statesmen take the field
他们是大学橄榄球公开赛中的常胜将军 for the opening game against the university of college generals.
准备好 Man: Ready?
今天有个惊喜 Jim: And a surprise start today
大一的临时队员Brad Mcquaid for walk-on freshman Brad mcquaid.
看起来是个很老练的大一新生 Bob: Looks pretty old to be a freshman.
荷尔蒙在爆发 Bob It's the hormones in the milk, Bob.
准备好了吗 开始 Ready? Set, hut!
Haythe把球扔了回来 Bob: Haythe drops back.
传给了Mcquaid And connects with mcquaid!
谁将会胜出 就会得到我的最佳赞赏 Who beats safety will glock like an egg white in my famous meringue recipe
我勒个擦 他太棒了 Holy shit, he's good.
你们没人告诉Mcquaid 说他很厉害吧 None of you tell mcquaid that he's good, all right?
要是你们说了 他有可能就会离开去打职业联赛了 If you do, he'll leave this shitty program.
随着时间的流逝 我们只剩下一球了 Bob: And as the clock ticks down, we've got time for one last play.
又一个Haythe和Mcquaid之间的精彩配合 Another perfect hookup between haythe and mcquaid.
就连他们球门区那边的观众也忍不住尖叫 Jim: Even their end zone celebration is in perfect sync.
就像他们两个人在用同一个大脑 It's like these two share a single brain, Bob.
说得对 他们俩一人用一半 That's right, Jim. They both have one half a brain.
球迷们又冲向球场了 And the crowd rushes the field
想把门柱给拆了 to try and knock down a goalpost.
这是拆不掉的 It's not coming down!
祝你们好运 朋友们 Bob: (Chuckling) Good luck, guys.
看来美罗城大学有了新的主力队员 Jim: Looks like mc state's got a new power couple.
Zook还有mcquaid Zook and mcquaid!
我要从这过去 伙计 I got to get around you, man.
我跳不了 我的脚踝扭伤了 I can't jump up. I got a broken ankle.
耶 Yeah!
太爽了 Both: Fuck yes!
耶 再来一次 Yeah! One more!
该死 (Cell phone buzzing) Shit.
谁呀 (Sighs) Who is that?
没什么 准备好了吗 Nothing. All right, ready?
继续 Zook: Come on!
集中注意力 Focus!
加油 Come on! Do it!
去你的 阿诺·施瓦辛格 Fuck you, Arnold Schwarzenegger!
我的卡住了 去你妈的 I'm so jammed! Fuck you!
门上有袜子 别进来 (Knocking on door) There's a sock on the door! Don't come in!
太过瘾了 Fuck yeah
我在和真人妹子做活塞运动 I'm having sex with a human woman.
我的天啊 靠 My God! Fuck!
嘿 看看你 Hey! Look at you!
你们来这做什么？ What are you guys doing here?
什么 你在开玩笑吗 本周是家长周 What? Are you kidding? It's parents weekend.
我去 (Whispers) Fuck.
太好了 你在约会啦 Wonderful. You're dating someone.
谢谢 妈妈 听着 我们是卧底 Thanks, mom. Listen, we're undercover, okay?
谢谢 -不客气 Thank you. No problem.
Doug!
Maya!
嘿 -嗨 Hey. Hi.
这是我父母 These are my parents.
就是这个女孩吗 So this is the girl?
你好 我是Annie 我是你未来婆婆 Hi. I'm Annie. I'm your new mother-in-law. (Laughs)
很高兴见到你 -真不会说话 Nice to meet you. Worst thing to say.
你好 -嘿 我是David Hi. Hey. David.
我老爸 -见到你很高兴 My dad. Nice to meet you.
太好了 我父母也在这儿 Well, my parents are here, too.
Maya 快点 Dickson: Maya, hurry up!
你妈妈找了个位子她想 Your mama done found a table she want.
你怎么认识这家伙？ How do you know this person?
爸爸 他是Doug 我在和他交往 Dad, this is Doug, a guy that I'm dating.
什么情况？ -我... The fuck? I...
你的功课怎么样 Doug? DougHow's your classes going, Doug?
你 ...我们只是在这附近... You... we were just in the neighborhood, and...
我有个主意 为什么我们不坐在一起 I have an idea. Why don't we all sit together?
一定很有意思 Would that be fun?
好的 谢谢 Yes, thank you.
嗯 So...
你觉得天气如何? Do you like weather?
你们俩认识吗? You two know each other?
不认识 No.
这太疯狂了 这一切 This is crazy, all these, uh,
学生和家长 students and parents.
潜在的证人 Potential witnesses.
你们俩是怎么认识的 How did you two meet?
我喜欢听爱情邂逅的故事 Oh, I love meet-cute stories.
我们在诗歌会上认识的 We met at a poetry slam,
然后他跟着我到宿舍 and then he stalked me back to my dorm room.
你跟踪她 - 哦 真浪漫 Stalked her? Oh, that's so beautiful.
然后发生了什么 Then what happened?
然后我们一起玩 还看了部电影 And then we hung out and we watched a movie.
事实上 我们看了好几遍 Actually, we watched it a couple times.
这太扯淡了 This is bullshit!
该死的 服务生 This fucking... waiter!
难道就不能给黑人倒点水喝吗 What can a black man do to get some water around here?
快给这家伙倒水 Give the fucking guy some water!
他是黑人 他已经够可怜的了 He's black! He's been through a lot!
看在女儿的面子上 你不要再闹了 For the sake of your daughter, please keep it together.
我要先去吃个可丽饼 不然我会发疯的 I'm gonna need a motherfucking crepe before I go crazy.
我马上回来 I'll be right back.
嗯 你们是哪里人 So, where are you from originally?
我来自康普顿 I'm straight outta Compton,
不过我丈夫是北岭 but my husband's from northridge.
快点 伙计 给我来点 Come on, man, hook me up.
你在干嘛 就给这么一点吗 What the fuck y'all doing? Y'all rationing around here?
快点 再给我来点 就这几根豆角吗 Come on, hook me up. Two little fucking string beans?
把他妈的豆角给我 Give me the goddamn string beans.
我还要芥末蛋 I want some fucking deviled eggs.
我喜欢水果 你不喜欢水果吗 I like fruit. Don't you like fruit?
我喜欢 I like fruit.
这是猪排吗 给我滚蛋 But this pork shit? Got to go!
他把气都发泄到自助餐台上去了 He's really taking it out on the omelet bar.
这真恶心 Shit was nasty!
他工作压力太大了 He's under a lot of pressure at work.
怎么了 Playa 想去看电影吗 What's up, playa? Want to go to the movies?
我要打断你的腿 打断你的狗腿 I'll break your motherfucking legs! Break your legs!
看什么 What?
你怎么样 美丽的植物先生 给我滚开这里 How you doing, Mr. nice plant? Get your fucking ass in there.
嘿 你还要啤酒吗 我再去拿一瓶 Hey, you want another beer? I'm gonna get another beer.
嗯 好的 我还要一瓶 Yeah, yeah, I'll do another.
嘿 哥们 听着 Hey, look, man,
你什么话都可以跟我说 you know you can always tell me something
如果你想一吐为快的话 if you want to get it off your chest.
我随时都可以倾听 You know I'm always here for you, right?
你想说什么 What are you trying to say?
没 没什么 No, nothing.
好吧 就是那些 All right, with everything that happened
与Cynthia和Whyphy有关的事 with Cynthia and whyphy,
我只是不想你毁了自己 I just don't want you to screw up.
你以为我不知道自己在做什么吗 You don't think I know what I'm doing?
什么 -我很清楚自己在做什么 What? I know exactly what I'm doing here.
我想对你说件事 I'm gonna tell you something, all right?
我能信任你吗？ -好的 没问题 Can I trust you? Yeah, of course.
我有个朋友在UMC I have a friend who knows a guy at umc.
他是个观察员 He's a scout. It's d-I.
他们的四分卫打得不够好 Their qb, he's not playing well.
他们对此很不高兴现状 They're not happy with the situation.
他们想让我录个带子 They want me to make a tape.
我想让你和我一起 And I want you to be on it with me.
没其他的了 (Stammering) Nothing else?
他们去年选了五个人 They had five guys in the draft last year.
Brad 这有可能是我们的机会 I mean, Brad, this could be our shot.
我们就像是黄金搭档 哥们 We're like the dynamic duo, bro.
就像蝙蝠侠和罗宾 We're like Batman and Robin.
不过我们俩都是蝙蝠侠 But we're both Batman.
你以后打算当什么 像股票经纪人？ What do you want to be, like, a stockbroker?
还是警察 Or a cop?
哥们 你的发展前途 就像 Dude, your ceiling is, like,
这么高 so high.
但你还可以 You can just bust right...
不断的突破 突破 Just break right through it. Right through it.
再突破 再突破 Right through it. Right through it.
你真的觉得我行吗 You really think I could make it at umc?
哥们 你会进入名人堂的 Dude, you could make it into the hall of fame.
不 伙计 拜托 那是你 No, dude, come on, that's you.
你会成为橄榄球的历史人物 You're gonna be in, like, the anals of football history.
哥们 你也会成为橄榄球的历史人物 Dude, you could make it into the anals of football history, too.
我们将会超越前人 We're gonna have to tear those anals up.
对 -我们会取得成就的 All right. We're gonna fucking tear it up.
我是说 就去录一卷带子吗 I mean, it's just a tape, right?
我特别讨厌我爸 I fucking hate my dad so much.
你知道吗 Do you have any idea
这就像是有个人 what it's like to have a guy like that
一直在告诉你你应该做什么 telling you what to do all the time? (Cell phone chiming)
我可以想象得到 I can only imagine.
我就是不明白他对你有什么不满的 I just don't understand what his problem is with you specifically.
我不 上帝啊 我真搞不懂 (Sighs) I don't... Jesus. That makes no sense to me.
我是说 你是个完美的人 I mean, you are a perfectly good guy.
你既诚实又善良 You're very honest and nice.
为什么我爸会有你的手机号 Why does my dad have your phone number?
我不知道 可能是查学校通讯录或其他 I don't know. Maybe the school directory or something.
我们来做点事吧 Let's do something...
做点事可以分散我们的注意力 Let's do something that would distract us.
这样我们就可以不用去想他了 So we don't have to think about him anymore.
等等 All right. Um... (Clears throat)
Maya
我们只说说话 可以吗 Is it okay if we just talk?
当然可以 Okay.
那就聊天吧 Let's talk.
不会吧 -是的 No way. Yeah.
我原本是个小飞侠 不够后来 有点迟了 I was Peter Pan, but then I was, like, late.
你和你哥哥的关系挺好的 You're really close with your brother, then.
看起来是的 - 对啊 It seems like. Yeah.
嗯 你知道... Yeah, you know...
伙计 你真是个天才 You're a fucking genius, dude.
你确定这样不会太过了 -不会的 Are you sure it's not too much, though? No!
耶 - 去他的 Yeah! Fuck, yeah!
好了 好了 All right? All right?
一整晚 兄弟 拜托 一整晚 - 是 我知道 All night, bro. Come on. All night. Yeah, I know.
这是值得的 哥们 It's gonna be so worth it, dude.
肯定是值得的 我保证 It's gonna be fucking worth it, I promise, all right?
兄弟 你知道这还需要什么吗 Dude, you know what this needs?
一个星形效果 Both: Another star wipe.
扫把星 请我喝酒 Jinx. Buy me a beer. (Chuckling)
转得好 Nice twist.
什么？ On what?
我真不敢相信 我们谈了一整夜 Maya: I can't believe we've been talking all night.
哦天啊都8点了 事实上我还有课 Oh, my God, it's 8:00. I have class, actually.
好的 我 Okay. I...
嗯 你需要什么自己拿 Yeah, you can help yourself to whatever you need, and...
好的 All right.
嗯 我很抱歉 这个Yeah, I'm so sorry, this... (Chuckles)
待会见 I'll see you.
待会再见吧 I'll see you later.
好的 -最开心的一晚 Okay. Best night ever.
好的 再见 Okay. Bye.
拜拜 Bye.
你在这多久了？ How long have you been there?
你能想到有多久 就有多久 Like, the longest amount of time you could think of right now.
这不是针对你的 This stuff wasn't meant for you.
主要是隐私问题 It was meant to be private.
是不是我应该坐在这儿 So, am I supposed to just sit here and not act like
假装什么都没听到 I hear every one of your problems?
你有99个问题 但重回年轻是不可能的了 You got 99 problems, but being young isn't one.
你只是嫉妒我和Maya的亲密关系 You're just jealous because Maya and I have a real connection.
我和我的祖父母关系也很亲密 I'm pretty close with my grandpa, too.
你比Cynthia还要糟糕 You're more messed up than Cynthia was,
他每周到要找校精神医师三次 and she went to the school shrink three times a week.
为什么 -我不知道 Why? I don't know.
不过他给她很多药丸 But he gave her a ton of pills and shit.
或许他可以把你的这张老脸治好 Maybe he could give you something for your weird old face.
好吧 Okay.
嘿 -你迟到了 Hey. You're late.
不是的 其实我在忙着调查 No, actually, I was busy with the investigation.
这里是Cynthia理疗师的办公室 这才是我们要调查 This is Cynthia's therapist's office. This is our investigation.
好的 (Whispering) All right.
你看着门 Watch the door.
哦 这就是我能做的 就只是看门 Oh, is that all I'm good for? Just watching a fucking door?
找到了 Got it.
病人是药物引起的狂想症 "Patient exhibits drug-induced paranoia.
认为她有生命危险 "Believes her life is in danger."
门 门开了 Uh, door, door.
嘿 Hey.
没人和我说 九点有会诊 I wasn't told that I had a 9:00 A.M. session.
嗯 对 我们约了九点的会诊 Yeah, no, we're your 9:00 A.M. that's us.
我们基本恢复了 And we're cured.
非常感谢你 你真是个了不起的医生 Thank you very much. You're an amazing doctor.
拜托 你们以为你们是第一对 Please. You think you're the first partners
刚和我交谈 就想逃走的基友吗 only to try to run when you're first faced with talking with me?
你怎么知道我们是基友的 How the fuck did you know we were partners?
他不知道我们是基友 He doesn't know we're partners.
我怀疑你们是基友 (Whispering) I suspect you're partners.
一段关系是需要不断地维护 A relationship is something that requires constant work.
我觉得这个我们在高中就学过了 Which is what I thought we learned in high school.
所以你在高中是个好学生了 So you are high school sweethearts.
我早就发现了 I picked up on that early.
请继续阐述吧 Please, continue the dialogue.
医生 Doc.
我只是觉得有时候 I just feel like sometimes
他甚至不想试着交流了 he's not even trying anymore.
就像 这段感情不值得拯救 Like this isn't even worth saving.
哦 好 我只是有时觉得 Jenko: Oh, okay. Well, sometimes I feel like
我们应该阳刚一点 that we should be more like the yangs.
也许我应该学学你的漂亮的Zook Or maybe I should be more like your beautiful zook.
去你妈的 -去你丫的 Oh, go fuck yourself! You go fuck yourself.
好了 -你太自私了 Okay. You're so selfish.
好了 骂够了吧 -哦 天啊 All right. That's a lot of fucking. Oh, my God.
有时我会让病人们做一些身体上的接触 sometimes I like to have the participants make physical contact.
为什么你们不牵牵手呢 Why don't you hold hands?
好的 -我不干 Okay. I'm not doing that.
嗯 -你看到了吧 Hmm? Do you see?
把手伸出来 Reach out your hand.
我... I'm...
他已经把手伸出来了 He's literally reaching out for you.
他不会和我牵手的 He won't hold my hand.
我不要牵手 Jenko: I'm not doing it.
我需要你这么做 I kind of need you to do it.
他不会和我牵手的 -哦 你 He won't hold my hand. Oh, you...
你要十指相扣 You got to interlock it, though.
如果你没有十指相扣 就不算牵手 If you don't interlock it, it's not hand-holding.
好吧 Fine.
我们还是做朋友吧 We might as well just be friends
不要当基友了 and not partners.
很好 是吧 Nice, right?
好的 你看到了没 这段关系很牢固 Okay, you see this? This is strong.
但我想要的是这样 What I want to be able to have is this.
是这样 Is this...
我想要的是这样 即使不牵手 I want to be able to have that, that same thing, in, like
也能心有灵犀 without actually having to do it.
你的基友让你难堪吗 Are you embarrassed of your partner?
没有 当然没有 好吗 No, not at all. Okay?
你们俩为何要联合起来对付我 And why the fuck are you guys ganging up on me?
应该对付他 真的 Gang up on him. Okay, seriously.
好的 -他很粘人 Okay, okay. He's clingy.
他害怕做他自己 He literally is terrified of being by himself.
听着 我知道Zook是你的兄弟 Look, I know zook's your buddy
你不想让他服罪认法 and you don't want him to be guilty,
但他就是我们要找的人 but he's our guy.
不是 他其实不是我们要找的人 我知道 No, he's actually not our guy. I would know.
知道吗 我们有时候抓住一件事情不放 Now, you know, we sometimes cling to things
因为很熟悉 很舒服 because they're familiar and comfortable.
我把这个法则叫做先入为主 I teach about a principle called embedding.
看清事实吧事实上 Look at the facts. Matter of fact,
Zook有纹身 他也认识Cynthia Zook has the tattoo. He knew Cynthia.
我知道他第一次见你 I know the first time he met you,
你把他的三明治撞掉 落在他的脚上 you dropped a fucking sandwich on his foot
他还对你笑 and he smiled at you,
你完全被蒙蔽了眼睛 but you are completely blind to the fact...
你刚刚说什么先入为主 -先入为主 What'd you say embedding was? Embedding?
哦 先入为主就是我们倾向于去注意 Oh, embedding is our tendency to latch on to
我们第一次获得的信息 the first bit of information that we're offered
忽视 甚至是无视 自相矛盾的信息 and overlooking, or even ignoring, contradictory information.
这是个很棒的法则 It's a fascinating principle...
闭嘴我在思考 Shut up. I'm thinking.
我们有没有可能也是那样 You think it's possible that
我们先入为主 we embedded?
什么？是我们喝醉还是其他什么的 What, like when we were drunk or something
我们太主观了 -好了 我要推荐.... We embedded each other? Okay. I'm gonna recommend...
好了 你可以出去了 Okay, you can leave the room.
快点滚出去 Just get the fuck out.
快点出去 你听到他说的没 Get the fuck out. You heard him.
治疗方向不对吧 This took a turn.
1 2 One, two...
好的 真有效果 Okay. Yep. Good session. (Door closes)
我们第一次看到 The first time we saw the photo
Cynthia买whyphy的照片时 of Cynthia buying whyphy,
Dickson说 这家伙是毒贩子 dickson said, "this guy's the dealer."
我们所想所做的一切都是根据他这句话 Everything we've done and thought has been based on that fact,
但是如果Dickson搞错了呢？ but what if dickson was wrong?
我们忽略了其他所有线索 And we've ignored all the other clues.
那如果Cynthia不是买家呢 Schmidt: What if Cynthia wasn't the buyer?
如果Cynthia才是毒贩子呢 What if Cynthia was the dealer?
队长 我们有一件非常非常重要的事要告诉你 Captain, we have something really, really important to tell you about.
队长? Captain?
你在穿凯夫拉（防弹衣）吗？ Are you wearing kevlar?
现在 先生们 我们不能坐在这 还假装 Now, gentlemen, we're not gonna sit here and pretend
什么事情都没发生过 there's not a big-ass elephant in the room.
到底是怎么回事？ What the fuck is going on?
就是这么回事 This is what the fuck is going on.
卧槽 卧槽 Oh, shit! Oh, shit!
卧槽 不是吧 Oh, shit! No!
这不可能是真的 That is not happening right now! No!
嘿 伙计们 他上了老大的女儿 Hey, y'all, he's fucking the captain's daughter! Yo!
他每说一次这破事... Every time he say that shit...
...你裤裆里第三条腿就要注意了 ...that's another foot in your ass.
Schmidt 你真是... 这是发生过的最好的事了 Schmidt, you clearly... Yo, this is the best thing ever!
Schmidt上了老大的女儿 Schmidt fucked the captain's daughter!
Schmidt上了老大的女儿 (Singsong) Schmidt fucked the captain's daughter!
Schmidt上了老大的女儿 Schmidt fucked the captain's daughter!
操 日 Shit! Fuck!
你上了Dickson队长的女儿 You fucked captain dickson's daughter?
老大 这他妈的 Captain, what the...
你简直是给了他一个耳光 You bragged to him to his face.
直接打他脸上 老大 To his actual face. Captain...
你明白吗 就这张脸 好一记耳光啊 Do you understand that this face right here, you bragged to that face?
你还为他上你女儿而跟他击掌庆祝 You actually high-fived schmidt for fucking your daughter.
我了个大操 Holy shit!
我的天啊 这真是 Oh, my God! This is...
这其实也没有那么好笑 It's really not that funny.
我只是想说 Schmidt: I just want to say that
我只是觉得你没说你女儿 it was bizarre not to share the fact
在美罗城大学太奇怪了 that your daughter went to mc state.
我也觉得奇怪 I think it's bizarre
我到现在还没阉了你 that I haven't cut your motherfucking nuts off.
要不让老大揍你脸一次 What if captain gets to punch you in the face one time,
特别特别狠的那种 really, really, really hard?
不 Nah.
我有更好的办法 I got something way better than that.
你认为Cynthia是卖家? You think Cynthia was the dealer?
如果这个卖家死了 我们去深入调查？ How the fuck we gonna infiltrate the dealer if the dealer is dead?
我们一定要阻止他们继续贩毒 We have to stop treating this
就像这是上次一样 like it's exactly the same as last time.
我们还有更大的麻烦 预算里没多少钱了 And we got a bigger problem. No more money in the budget.
啥?我以为我们有凯特-布兰切特资助的 What? I thought we had Cate blanchett.
凯特-布兰切特？ Cate blanchett?
我以为预算里有凯特-布兰切特资助 Yeah, I thought we had Cate blanchett with the budget.
你是说空白支票 You mean "carte blanche."
就是这个 That one.
欢迎回来 蠢货兄弟 Welcome back, dum-dum.
我们以前确实有空白支票 现在没了 We did have carte blanche. Not no more.
你开始买的那个贵家伙 You got that expensive chase in the beginning,
昂贵的装备 这间办公室 that expensive equipment, this fucking office...
看起来像是钢铁侠才会用的 太贵了 This look like some shit iron man would have. Shit's expensive!
我还买了这双800美元的鞋 你他妈都看不到啊 I got on $800 shoes, and you can't even see the motherfuckers.
所以你们俩现在是在十字路口 So now you two motherfuckers is in the crosshairs.
我警告你俩 I'm warning you,
找到供货人 find the supplier,
但是别花组织上一毛钱 but don't cost the department no more money.
听着 Zook那件事我向你道歉 Look, I apologize about the zook thing.
你说的对 他不是卖家 You were right, he's not the dealer.
好 很好 你道歉了 Okay, great. You apologized.
有什么用啊 伙计 What's that worth, man?
现在我们什么线索也没有 我们该怎么办 Now we have no leads. What are we supposed to do now?
做警察该做的 Police work.
操 Fuck.
别把死人的假老二往老子身上扔 Don't throw a fucking dead person's dildo at me.
我们是在工作 好吗 We're at work right now, okay?
现在学生已经不看书了 不是吗 Jenko: Kids don't check out books anymore, right?
我认为他们都不会阅读了 I don't even think they know how to read.
放书的地方 - Book place.
图书馆 Library.
供货人把毒品 The supplier is putting drugs
藏在图书馆的书里 inside the books in the library,
显然没人会去图书馆 where literally no one goes anymore, man.
然后卖家再拿走那本书 And the dealers check out the books.
我们马上就要抓住供货人了 We're going to catch the supplier. (Cell phone vibrating)
你有觉得这有多酷... -等一下 Do you realize how cool... Wait, one sec, one sec.
怎么了 伙计 What's up, dude?
嘿 伙计 你在哪? Hey, dude, where are you?
我们在热身 比赛就要开始了 We're warming up. The game's about to start.
好吧 伙计 呃 听着 我要... All right, man. Um, look, I'm just gonna...
我马上到 I'm coming.
好的 等会见 All right, later.
你要干嘛去 别扔下我一个人啊 What are you doing? Don't leave me hanging.
我必须得去 要不我就会暴露身份 Dude, I got to go or I'm gonna blow my cover, okay?
你一个人可以的 我两个小时以后回来 You can do this alone. I'll be back in two hours.
你可以的 You got this.
你吓到我了 You scared me.
就是这里了 Man: This is the place.
要是其他人约我们来看 他们是如何运作的 You'd think if somebody wants to show us their operation,
至少会准时 they'd at least be on time.
看看这破地方 Look at this crap. Huh?
我确实很怀念从前... - 靠 - I do miss the days... - Shit.
他在干嘛? - ...那时还是正常的毒品 -What's he doing here? - ...When people did normal drugs.
这是什么? 糖豆吗? What is this? Jelly beans?
垃圾! Crap!
站好 接住 Set, hut!
Mcquaid冲过来接住了球 Bob: Mcquaid crosses in an end-around.
假动作 他们俩真是默契搭档 It's a trick play! These two are practically interchangeable.
Mcquaid传给haythe Mcquaid throws down the field to haythe.
然后他接稳 触地得分 And he hangs on for the touchdown!
他们就像在同一豌豆荚里 Jim: These two are peas in a pod, Bob,
不过不是小绿豆 but instead of little green balls,
他们是人类 是橄榄球运动员 they are human football players.
为美罗城大学黄金二人组再欢呼一次吧 Announcer: Let's hear it once again, mc state, for your dynamic duo.
我去 我兄弟又需要我去帮忙 Oh, shit. My brother needs me again.
听着 你也知道 忠诚很酷 Look, you know, loyalty's cool,
我很羡慕这样 and I admire it,
我知道他是你的兄弟 and I know he's your brother.
但是你不能让自己被别人控制 But you can't allow yourself to be held down by a guy
就因为他不肯放手 just because he won't let go.
对 呃... Jenko: Yeah. Um...
我去上个厕所 I gotta take a piss.
那孩子让我们这样等着太不礼貌了 Man: The kid's pretty rude to make us wait like this.
你闭嘴 Can you shut it?
90年代的老式毒品怎么了 What's wrong with those classic drugs from the '90s?
海洛因 你知道的 可卡因 Heroin, you know, cocaine...
- 嘿 嘿 - 喔 靠 - Hey, hey. - Whoa. Shit.
- 我到了 你丫高兴了? - 嘘 - I'm fucking here. You happy? - Shh!
鬼见愁就在这边 好吗? The ghost is right there, okay?
他要在这见供货商 He's about to meet up with the supplier.
过去看看 - 你小点声 - Hey. Check that out. - Jenko: You shush.
你才是那个说话的 - 你声音太大 - You're the one fucking talking. - You're being so fucking loud.
你赶紧闭嘴 You shut the fuck up.
这边怎么了 - 完了 - What's going on here? - Schmidt: Shit!
你打扰了一场销魂的口交 (Stuttering) You're interrupting a really stellar blow job.
卧槽 我才刚硬起来 Oh, fuck, I just came so hard!
怎么回事？ What the hell is going on?
没事 有一对断袖癖而已 It's okay. It's just a couple of faggots.
你刚说什么 Hey, yo, what the fuck did you just say?
你刚称呼我们"同性恋"? Did you just call us "faggots"?
是他说你在给他口交 He said you were sucking his dick.
这都2014年了 傻叉 It's 2014, asshole.
你不能用"同性恋"这个词 You can't fucking use "faggot."
基佬可以 男同也行 "Gay" is okay. "Homosexual," maybe.
你要是认识这个人 你也可以叫他"同志" And if you know the person, you might be able to call them a "queer."
要是他们比较有幽默感的话 不过我可没有 If they have a great sense of humor, but I don't.
抱歉 他选修了一门人类性学课程 I'm sorry, he took one human sexuality class,
他以为他是Harvey Milk(同性恋政治家) he thinks he's Harvey milk.
我的老天 你就不能 Oh, my God. Will you please,
哪怕只有一次 别拆我的台 just for once, just back me up?
你为啥就不能动一次脑袋呢？ Why can't you just use your head for once?
你想让我用头? - 行 Oh. You want me to use my head? Fine.
现在怎样？ 他妈的混蛋 Oh, yeah, what's up now, motherfuckers?
还记得我吗? You remember me?
我是你的美... I'm your best night...
我是你的噩梦 I'm your worst nightmare.
喔 老兄 我的记忆力 Oh, man, it's my memory.
最近越来越差了 It's getting worse lately.
你是警察吗? Are you the police?
对 我是 你他妈的混蛋都被逮捕了 Yeah, that's right. And you motherfuckers are all under arrest.
你的枪呢? Where's your gun?
啥? - 你有枪吗? What? Do you have guns?
没 No.
我没有 No, I don't.
可是我们有枪 'Cause we have guns.
为什么你不把枪放下 咱们像个爷们一样打一场 Well, why don't you put your guns down, and let's fight like men?
因为我们有枪 Because we have guns.
Schmidt 跑! - 抓住他! Schmidt, run! Get him!
操! Shit! (Guns firing)
这能有多难吗?打中他们! Ghost: How hard can it be? Shoot them!
操 操 操! Fuck, fuck, fuck!
打他们! 打他们! Shoot them! Shoot them!
过来 走这边 比较快 Come on, this way, it's faster.
不 走这边 - Schmidt Schmidt No, just come this... Schmidt! Schmidt!
快点 行吗? Hurry up, okay?
Schmidt 你能快点吗? Schmidt, will you hurry up!
别冲我大吼大叫 我会分心的! Stop yelling at me! You're distracting me!
Schmidt 快点 我们走! Schmidt, come on! Let's go!
我跳不下去! 我又不是蜘蛛侠! I can't jump down! I'm not, like, fucking spider-man!
我去弄辆车 I'm gonna get the car.
还是楼梯快多了 Stairs are so much faster.
这就是你弄的车? That's the car you got?
很抱歉不是兰博基尼 闭嘴赶紧上车吧 I'm sorry it's not a fucking lambo. Shut up and get in.
他们还在追我们吗? Are they even still chasing us?
对 他们还在追赶我们! Yes, they're still chasing us!
为什么你要那么做? 我们马上就能抓住供货人了 Why did you do that? We were about to catch the supplier.
出什么毛病了你? What's wrong with you?
你看啊 如果你什么也不说 Look, if you don't say something,
人们永远都不会停止他们的歧视 people will never stop discriminating.
你能想个办法吗? Will you please do something
这玩意跑的这么慢 about how slow this thing's going?
我去! - 小心 小心! Oh, shit! Watch out, watch out!
这就像是一个小头盔车 That is just like a little helmet machine.
我们不能再撞坏其他东西了! We can't destroy any more stuff!
我们不能再挥霍组织上的钱了! We can't waste any more of the department's money!
当心那个取款机! Watch out for that cash machine!
走哪边? 走哪边? 走哪边? Which way? Which way? Which way?
哪边都行 只要便宜! Schmidt: Whichever way's cheaper!
右边? 你走了右边? Right? You went right?
你本可以去停车场的 You could've gone in a parking lot,
你去了雕塑公园? you went to the sculpture garden?
你知道这得多贵吗? Do you know how expensive that's gonna be?
我去! Shit!
看起来好像他们是故意去撞的 It's like they're trying to hit 'em or something.
我是说 虽然看起来很酷 I mean, it looks cool,
但是 就是 这太奢侈了 but, I mean, it's just so wasteful.
他们正在撞毁一切! Schmidt: They're destroying everything!
老大会灭了咱们的! Captain's gonna kill us! (Tires screeching)
我们该怎么办? What are we gonna do?
好吧 我们去机器人实验室里甩掉他们 All right, we're gonna lose 'em in the robotics lab.
什么? What?
哦 不 我们毁了一切! Schmidt: Oh, no! Oh, we broke everything!
这里有很多很贵的东西! There was a lot of expensive stuff in there!
我去! Oh, shit!
他们要去体育馆! They're going into the stadium!
听着Schmidt 我得告诉你个事 Listen, schmidt, I gotta tell you something.
我得到了奖学金 I got offered a scholarship
明年在这里继续玩橄榄球 to play football here next year.
Zook说我可以和他住一个寝室 你明白的 And zook said I could room with him, you know,
所以我在想 我也许可以这样做 so I was thinking that I could do that, maybe.
什么? 你不能又当警察 What? You can't be a cop
还留在这里跟Zook玩橄榄球 and stay here and play football with zook.
不 听着 我知道 好吗? 只是... No, look, I know, okay? It's just...
我跟Zook不会有矛盾 我们是类似的 There's no friction with me and zook. We're the same.
你想退出么? 想退出你就直说 Do you want out? If you want out, just say it.
不是 我不是想退出 好吗? No, I don't want out, okay?
只是 当我在橄榄球赛场上的时候 It's just, when I'm on the football field
我弯腰过人 我感觉我在飞 and I'm diving for a pass, I feel like I can fly.
好吗 我和你在一起 All right? And when I'm with you,
只是觉得你在拖累我 it just feels like you hold me down.
我只是希望你能和我一起飞 I just wish you could fly with me.
Statesmen赢了 34比14 Bob: And the statesmen win, 34-14.
粉丝们都涌到了球场上 (All cheering) Jim: And there go the fans onto the field.
Jenko!
我嘞个草! Jesus Christ!
伙计 刹车失灵了 - 什么? - Dude, the brakes are out. - What?
都快滚一边去! Get the fuck out of the way!
你赶紧跳下去 你跳啊 跳啊! You gotta jump. You gotta jump, jump, jump!
不 No.
操 Fuck!
我们走 老板 我们走 Let's go, boss. We gotta go. (Laughs)
你做到了! 太棒了! 耶! You did it! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
你被逮捕了 先生 You're under arrest, sir.
我是警察 Hey, I'm an officer, all right?
带我走吧 我等会再解释 Just take me in. I'll explain later.
不管他的事 他是个学生 他什么也没做 No, no, no. Hey, he's a student. He didn't do anything.
等等 等等 你干嘛呢 你干嘛呢? Wait, wait. What are you doing? What are you doing?
我 I, um...
我替你做决定了 I decided for you.
继续玩橄榄球吧 Just stick with football.
我不能给你像他们给你的感觉 I can't give you the same feeling that these guys can.
也许我们只是一次性的搭档 Maybe we were only supposed to do this once.
什么? What?
这是我人生中最好的时刻 Dude, this is the fucking best moment of my life!
我们走 兄弟! Let's go, man!
Mcquaid! Mcquaid! Mcquaid!
嘿 玛雅·安吉罗（诗人） Maya: Hey, Maya angelou.
谢谢你骗了我 Thanks for lying to me.
兰博基尼 ! 酷毙了! Both: Lam-bros! Yes!
您今晚过的怎么样 先生? - 很好 谢谢 How are we doing tonight, sir? Good, thanks.
您是等人还是自己用餐? Are we waiting on anybody or you dining alone?
也许有人会顺便过来 但是我可以... Someone may swing by, but we can...
我可以自己先点餐 We can order without them.
我们确认并逮捕了理疗师Karl Murphy We have identified and arrested one Dr. Karl Murphy,
我们在他的办公室内发现了whyphy残留 who was found with whyphy residue throughout his office...
...他与死者有着密切的关系 ...and had a close personal relationship with the deceased.
就像我们最近破获的一起发生在高中的案子 Exactly like a case we had recently at a high school.
完全一样 Exactly the same.
这案子结了 The case is closed.
我说 你那边完了之后下一步打算怎么办? You know, like, what you're gonna do after you're out of here?
你不能扔石头 You're not supposed to throw rocks.
什么? What?
你不能扔石头 You're not supposed to throw rocks.
# 我一点也不想你# (Groans) # I ain't missing you at all #
# 自从你离开以后# # since you've been gone away #
一人份的龙虾 the lobster for one person.
一人份的就行 Enough for one person only.
# 不管我的朋友们说什么# # No matter what my friends say #
我注意到这个whyphy案子中的一些细节 I found something in this whyphy case that caught my attention.
滚出我的办公室 Get the fuck out of my office.
长官 你不... - 我们抓住了嫌疑人 - Sir, you don't... - We caught the guy.
你今天除了锻炼身体什么也不打算做吗? Hey, you want to do anything else other than work out today?
比如什么? Like what?
来吧 伙计 他们只是龙虾而已 伙计 Come on, dude. They're just lobsters, dude.
来吧 别害怕 Come on. No, don't be afraid.
它会抓你的脸的 它会抓你的脸的 It's gonna claw your face. It's gonna claw your face.
我们以后的生活就会像这样 兄弟 It's gonna be like this, dude, for the rest of our lives.
# 今晚穿过这漫长的距离# #down this long distance line tonight #
# 我一点也不想你# # I ain't missing you at all #
# 自从你离开以后# # since you've been gone away #
# 我没有想念你# #I ain't missing you
# 不管我的朋友怎么说# # no matter what my friends say #
# 没有想念你# #ain't missing you #
- 嗨 - 嗨 - hey. - Hey.
你来这做什么？ What are you doing here?
过来看看你过的怎么样 Just came to see how you are.
我很他妈好 I'm doing fucking great.
比从前任何时候都开心 I'm the happiest I've ever been,
我一个人也很好 so I'm just having a great time with myself.
你若安好 便是晴天 I'm glad you're having a good time with yourself.
我现在是个独立艺人了 像碧昂斯那样 I'm a solo artist now, like Beyonce.
我以前的命运像普通孩子们一样 现在我只是 I used to have the other destiny's children, but now I'm just, uh,
一个孤独的超级巨星而已 a lone superstar.
替你开心 Happy for you.
只是一个拥有梦想和甜美歌声的白皙的公主而已 Just a light-skinned princess with a dream and an amazing voice.
太好了 That's great.
你呢? How are you?
我很好 I'm pretty great.
我过的很消沉...你知道Zook是个多么消沉的人 I just chill and... You know how chill zook is.
Zook是那么的消沉 Zook's such a chill guy.
像块冰一样 Just like ice.
这让我替你感到开心 That makes me so happy for you.
所以 听着 我只是想说 So, look, I just wanted to say that, like,
我在想这个案子 I was thinking about the case,
我只是担心他们抓错人了 and I was worried that they got the wrong guy for it.
我也认为他不是嫌疑人 I don't think he's the guy, either.
是吗? Yeah?
我查了鬼见愁的资料 I looked into the ghost's background,
我看到他给一个美罗城大学的在校生交学费 and I saw that he pays tuition for a student at mc state.
你认为鬼见愁会是供货人的父亲? You think the ghost could be the supplier's dad?
有可能 Maybe.
这是一条很好的情报 Okay, that's a pretty good piece of information.
谢谢 Thank you.
我听说whyphy又卷土重来了 Well, I heard whyphy's coming back in a big way.
有人大批量带着那玩意 Someone's bringing a shit-ton of that stuff
到墨西哥港 为了春假的供应 down to puerto, Mexico, for spring break.
如果这真的发生了 那么whyphy会像病毒一样 And if that happens, whyphy is going viral.
在全国的每一所学校蔓延开来 It's gonna be at every college in the country.
我觉得还是我的情报更有力一些 I think my information was stronger.
听着 如果你... 你想要 Look, if you... If you want to,
我们可以一起去 we could go down there.
像搭档一样? Like together?
我们不一定非得叫搭档 We don't have to put a label on it.
就像 一次性的 临时的 Just, like, one-time. One-time thing.
彼此没有郑重的承诺和压力 No big commitment or stress to each other.
一次性的 临时的 Just, like, one-time. One-time thing.
那你的学校 橄榄球 和美好的新生活怎么办? What about school and football and your wonderful new life?
我有时间 I have time off.
我现在放春假了 I'm on spring break.
这酸爽 Cool tingling.
还能放下这个宝贝 Got room for one of these babies.
手榴弹 你干嘛要放在那里? A grenade. Why you gonna put it there?
太不卫生了 That's just unsanitary.
感觉爽 Feels right.
你漏了一个地方 Missed a spot.
你知道这次只是一次性对吗？ You know this is just a one-time thing, right?
我知道 I know.
所以你不会觉得这很奇怪吗 So you're not gonna be weird about this?
好吧 Okay.
很好 Both: Perfect.
春假 干他娘的 Spring break, motherfucker.
你没看到是我先出来的吗 - 借过一下 - Did you not see that I was going first? - Excuse you.
借过一下 - 你想先走? - Excuse you. - You want to go first?
春假他妈的来了 Emcee: Spring break, motherfuckers!
#I be divin' in the crowd#
# shake my dreads, actin' wild#
#can't do lean, too blowed out#
#too turnt up, I can't turn down#
#can't turn down can't turn down#
#can't turn down#
#All I wanna do is party#
#my head keep on spinning around#
#baby girl, why don't you first#
#drop it to the ground#
#I be divin' in the crowd#
#shake my dreads, actin' wild#
#can't do lean, too blowed out#
#too turnt up, I can't turn down#
# can't turn down can't turn down#
#can't turn down can't turn down#
# can't turn down can't turn down #
我的天啊! 我满身大汗! my gosh! I'm sweaty.
你们真的在这吃东西么? You guys are actually eating stuff in here?
这太疯狂了 That's so crazy.
兄弟 麻烦让一让 Jenko: Come on, man, put your dick away.
你他妈倒是让一让啊 Put your fucking dick away.
楼上 楼上 我们走 Upstairs, upstairs. Let's go.
好的 我们的计划是这样的 Mercedes: Okay, so here's the plan.
我们要让所有的学生在春假里依赖上whyphy We're gonna get all these kids at spring break hooked on whyphy.
然后你把它带回你的地盘 Then you're gonna bring it back to your turf,
你要把它全部卖光 and you're gonna sell the shit out of it.
统统卖光 你们看到了吗 "Sell shit out of it." Do you see that?
如果你们敢出卖我 And if you rat me out,
我陷害过我的心理学教授 就因为他给我了B-评分 I framed my psych prof just for giving me a b-minus.
他现在进监狱了 所以 别惹我 He's in jail now, so don't fuck with me.
我们要建立一个全国性质的网络 We're gonna build a nationwide network.
你干啥呢? - 安静点 What the fuck are you doing? - Be quiet.
为什么你不买那些老式毒品 Why don't you sell those old classic drugs
90年代的可卡因 海洛因 还有... from the '90s, like cocaine, heroin and...
爸 那些都是 老年人的毒品 Dad, those are, like, old-people drugs.
感觉就像是老女人在像吸毒 That's, like, what they did on the golden girls.
就像是blanche在吸海洛因 Like, blanche did heroin.
好吧 我还是坐在这 什么也不说好了 All right, I'll just sit here and be silent.
Blanche从来没吸过海洛因 Blanche never did heroin.
好了 杨氏兄弟 你来代替我那个死室友的位置 Okay, so, yangs, you'll take my dead roommate's spot.
酷 很好 Cool. Dope.
你在逗我吗 杨氏兄弟? 你是嗑嗨了吗? Are you kidding me, yangs? Are you fucking high?
当然 - 是的 - Of course. - Yeah, I am.
我的天 你难道没有听过 Jesus Christ, have you ever heard of,
“贩毒不吸毒”这句话吗 "don't get high on your own supply"?
我们没嗑要 - 没嗑 - We didn't. - Nah.
我没嗑 I didn't do that.
我用了他的 他用了我的 Yeah, I used his and he used mine.
好 现在我必须得从你们俩中间立一个规矩出来 Okay, well, now I have to make a fucking example out of you.
是把枪 That's a gun. Yeah.
谁先来? Who first?
你想先去吗? - 我不想死 - You want to go first? - I don't want to die.
你去死... - 我不想死 - You die... - I don't want to die.
你想石头剪刀布吗? - 石头剪刀布? - You want to do rock paper scissors? - Rock paper scissors?
就是这样 - 就这样 - That's how we'll do it. - That's how we'll do it.
操 Fuck.
好吧 我们无法决出胜负 Yeah, we won't figure this out.
你们两个我一起杀 -宝贝 - I'll shoot both of you. - Ghost: Darling.
如果你想加入我们的家族生意 If you're going into the family business,
你必须要有清白记录 you will have to have a clean record.
这就是为什么我们有这些人来替我们做事 That's why we have these guys to do it for us.
靠 厄运 Both: Oh, fuck. Jinx.
我们得行动了 We got to move right now.
给我在天堂买杯可乐 Both: Buy me a coke in heaven. Jinx again.
放下枪 - 都放下枪 Put your guns down! Fucking guns down!
Doug?
我不叫Doug 我叫Schmit My name's not Doug, it's schmidt.
猜猜看 我们可是警察 And guess what, we're cops. Boom.
真可怕 Oh, my God.
是啊 每个人都知道 - 真的吗 - Yeah, everybody knows. - Really?
你们俩像是夏威夷老爸秀中的警察 You guys look like the stars of a cop show called Hawaiian dads.
好吧 够了够了 小的们 进来吧! All right, enough is enough. Boys, move in!
我们还有同伙吗 - 是啊! - Oh, do we have company? - Ghost: Yeah!
放下你们的枪 - 你们先放下 - Drop your guns. - Drop yours first.
我们的枪比你们的多 给我把枪放下 We have way more guns than you. Drop your fucking guns.
好吧 有道理 Okay, that's a good point.
这就是你们的整个计划吗? I mean, was this really your entire plan?
没有任何支援就冲进来了? Coming in here with no backup?
也许我们有一个更加精心的计划 Or maybe we had a far more elaborate plan. Mmm-hmm.
也许我的搭档兜里面放着一个跟踪器 Maybe my partner has a tracking device in his pocket right now.
也许...什么? May... what?
你居然带了跟踪器? 我没有 You had the fucking tracking device. I don't have it.
这应该是你记着的事 That's the one fucking thing you were supposed to remember.
你是那个有脑子的人 你应该带着跟踪装置 Jenko: You're the smart person. You do the tracking device shit.
那是你的事 我负责体力劳动方面的 That's your domain. I do the physical shit.
你知道吗 我有时候是会拖累你 Schmidt: You know what, I may drag you down sometimes,
但每一次 只有你要机会犯蠢 but every possible time you can do something dumb,
你就会做出最蠢的事 you do the dumbest possible thing.
不 最蠢的事 No, the fucking dumbest possible thing
是让两个警察在这边说废话 is letting two cops blah-blah-blah
同时其他的警察正在就位来捣毁他们 while other cops are getting in position to bust their shit in.
所以你是说我带了跟踪装置 Oh, so you mean I brought the tracking device.
对啊 怎么样 现在? Yeah. What's up now, huh?
看起来像是一场真的争吵 That seemed like such a real argument.
即兴表演而已 小婊砸 That's improv, bitch.
歇你妹的春假啊 傻叉 Spring break yourself, fool.
我们能把你们打的七零八落 We shoot dicks off here in jump street.
我们也来了 We're here, as well.
我们龙虎局 马上就要踢你们的屁股 We jump street, and we about to jump in yo' ass.
来得正好 Right in the crack.
别轻举妄动 皮衣男 Don't do it, leatherface.
他拿着毒品 Dickson: He's got the drugs!
太无聊了 都没有人中枪 This is so boring. No one's getting shot.
我的天 (Laughs) Oh, my God.
你是中枪了吗 在我话音刚落的时候? Did you just get shot, like, right after I fucking said that?
我能用你的枪吗? 这把大一点 Can I have your gun? It's bigger.
停下来! 我要开枪打你了! Stop! I'll shoot you in the ass!
老爸! Dad!
Maya?
你来这干什么? What are you doing here?
这可是枪战现场 This is a shoot-out.
你知道在枪战中会发生什么吗 You know what happens in a shoot-out.
他们总是绑架一个女孩 They always kidnap the girl.
也并不总是 Not always.
Mercedes?你跟我来 Mercedes? You're coming with me.
贱货 拜托 我哪也不去 Bitch, please. I ain't going nowhere with you.
现在走 Now.
爸 我该做什么？ Dad, what do I do?
那是我的泳装吗 Is that my bathing suit?
只是问问 这是礼貌 Just ask. It's polite.
你开枪打了我的脚 You shot me in my foot! Wait!
走 快走 现在 Move! Move faster now!
我在给你说话 见鬼 你朝我的脚开枪 I'm taking my time. Shit, you shot me in my goddamn foot.
Doug? Doug!
Maya!
Mercedes带着我爸往那边走了 Mercedes just took my dad that way!
好 我们去追 Okay, we're on it.
要是我出意外 我就杀了你们俩混小子 Dickson: If I die, I'm gonna kill both of you motherfuckers!
操 现在我们怎么去追赶他 Fuck. How are we gonna catch him now? (Engine revving)
兰博基尼 Lambo.
警察 警察 - 滚开 Policia! Policia! Fuck off.
我擦 鬼见愁在那 Shit, there's ghost!
什么 我们要怎么办？ What? What do we do?
我们要分开行动 Uh, we need to split up.
你一个人行吗 Are you okay with that?
对 我可以 Yeah, I can do it.
你确定？ Are you sure?
我要开车去追 因为你跑的快 I need to drive, 'cause you're faster on foot.
什么?我不能开兰博基尼 What? I don't get to drive the lambo?
你不能开 快走 出发吧 No, you don't. Come on, let's go!
可是 我想 ... -谁会在乎兰博基尼 快走吧 But I want... Who gives a shit about the lambo? Just go!
快把钥匙给我 -我不能给你 Let go of the fucking keys! I can't let 'em go.
你要要拿好它 You're gonna have to take 'em.
好好使用她 这是荣耀 真的 Take care of her, okay? It'll be glorious, I promise.
这车怎么开啊 How do you drive this thing?
你要让她驾驶你 伙计 You got to let her drive you, bro.
我进不去 Schmidt: I can't get in.
你怎么开的车 Look where you're going!
好混乱啊 It's so confusing!
慢点 贱货我的手很疼 Easy, bitch. My hands are hurting.
你知道后面追我们的是谁吗？ You know who's behind us in that car?
那是我们队最好的车手 That's one of the best drivers that we got.
靠 Fuck!
哦 我操 Oh, shit.
真他妈复杂 这是什么？ Schmidt: Fucking complicated. What is this?
我了个大槽 Holy shit!
你让我错失了开兰博基尼的机会 你个混蛋 You fucked up me driving a lamborghini, you dick!
滚一边去 鸽子 Fuck you, doves!
墨西哥港让我们听听你们的尖叫 Emcee: Puerto, Mexico, let's hear you get crazy!
感觉就像是蝙蝠车 It's like a Batmobile.
快点 schmidt! Come on, schmidt!
老人要穿过来了 Old man coming through!
借过 借过 Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me.
Brad春假来了 Brad! Spring break!
我不行 我有事 Jenko: Look, I can't, all right?
兄弟 我要走了 我要走了 Dude, I got to go. I got to go.
到此为止吧 This is quite enough.
你放开我 丢下所有的货 You need to let me go and drop all this.
快闪开 Get out of the way!
东京漂移 Tokyo drift!
太快了 That was way too fast
漂亮的停车 想想还有一点小激动 and pretty Way too... A little bit too furious.
Schmidt 过来 我还戴着手铐呢 Schmidt! Get over here! I'm handcuffed!
停手吧 混蛋 还有车停的不错 Give it up, asshole! And nice parking job!
靠 我马上回来 Fuck! I'll be right back.
我去追她 很快回来 抱歉 I gotta go. I'll be right back. Sorry.
这是命令 混小子 快过来 That's a direct order, motherfucker! Come over here!
你又老又弱 Mercedes: You are so old and weak!
把枪丢了 我说真的 Drop the fucking gun! Seriously!
把你皱纹的手从我身上拿开 Mercedes: Get your wrinkly hands off me!
你上哪了 Where the hell have you been?
在到处找你 Looking for you.
我像疯子一样在跑 I've been running like crazy!
嘿 嘿 Hey! Hey.
想像爷们一样对打吗？ Want to fight like a man?
你最好能一对二 Then you better fight like two men.
嘿 嘿 Hey. Hey.
真的 又是双胞胎？ Really? More twins?
起来 老家伙 Get up, old man river!
来啊 -嘿 Come on! Hey.
来打我啊 你个娘炮 Get up and hit me, you fucking pussy!
我不会和女人打的 停手吧 I'm not gonna fight a girl, so just stop!
那不是问题 It shouldn't matter.
要是你把我当成一个人 而不是女人 If you thought of me as a person instead of a woman,
你打我就不会感觉不好了 you would hit me and not feel bad about it.
好吧 -还手啊 Okay. Bring it!
我准备好了 I'm ready.
现在开始了 疯狗 It's on now, dawg.
跟女的打 Girl fight.
哦 哦 哦 -哦 我的天啊 Oh. Oh. Oh, my God.
我眼睛有没有出血？ -哦 天啊 你没事吧？ Is there blood in my eye? Oh, my God. Are you all right?
我觉得我眼睛出血了 I think there's blood in my eye.
你他妈学着点 Fucking learn how to hit!
这才像样！ That's a little better!
这才好点 草泥马！再来 再来 That's a little better, motherfucker! Come on! Come on!
不 不 - 干嘛？ No! No! What?
你刚在干嘛？ -我在干嘛？ What were you doing? What am I doing?
你为毛想要亲我？ Why'd you try to kiss me?
我他妈才没想要亲你！ I didn't fucking try and kiss you!
你就是 -哦 你太怪了 Yes, you did. Ooh, you're so weird!
你他妈的要跟我上演史密斯夫妇 You're fucking Mr. and Mrs. Smith-ing me.
我才没要跟你演史密斯夫妇 'm not Mr. and Mrs. Smith-ing you.
刚刚才不是性战！ This wasn't a sexy fight.
哦 就像你你从来没有想过要亲我一样 Oh, like you haven't wanted to kiss me the whole time.
我从没想过一次要亲你！ I never once wanted to kiss you!
从没有！没有 Never! No!
你又那么做了 - 停 停 You just did it again! Stop it! Stop!
你在做性感的鬼脸 You're making a face that is sexy!
我从没有想要亲你 I don't even want to kiss you!
那就不要想这去试 Then stop trying!
你一直想试 You keep trying!
我从没试着要亲你 I've never tried to kiss you.
你给我了“亲我的眼神” You gave me "kiss me" eyes.
没 我没有 No, I didn't.
那眼神是“我的脸上被揍了”的眼神 The eyes were "I just got punched in the face" eyes.
不是“亲我”的眼神 They weren't "kiss me" eyes.
我一点儿也不喜欢你 I don't even like you!
我也不喜欢你 所以你不要亲我 Neither do I, so stop kissing me!
好的 Okay!
不 你又前倾了 No! You're leaning in again!
我不知道我们是要打架还是亲吻 I didn't know if we were gonna punch or kiss!
你搞得现在很不自在 You're making this so uncomfortable.
这是我经历过最不自在的打架 This is the most uncomfortable fistfight I've ever been in.
我要打你的脸把你打醒 ‘I'm gonna give you an out by punching you in the face.
好吗？ -好 Okay? Okay.
然后我们重新回到打架阶段 And then we're gonna go back to fighting
我们都假装刚才什么都发生过 and we'll pretend this never happened,
因为我觉得这太尴尬了 'cause I feel so awkward.
我想要看到你们疯狂 I want to see you get crazy!
我他妈的恨死春假了 I fucking hate spring break!
操 Fuck!
你开什么玩笑？那是塑料的 Are you kidding me? It's plastic.
一点儿也不疼 -好... Doesn't even hurt! Okay...
这不是你想象的春假？ This isn't the spring break you imagined?
这个怎么样？你要不要来点好玩的 How about this? You want a little fun?
什么东西？ What is that?
湿身吧 宝贝！ Get wet, baby!
我脸上有好多润滑油！ So much lube in my face!
脸上有油 Lube on my face.
你太暴力了！ You're so violent!
你要是不上我就给我滚下来 Get off me unless you're gonna fuck me!
我才不要上你！ I'm not gonna fuck you!
我们要上床么 -不 才不是 Are we gonna fuck? -No we not
这不就是正在发生么？ Is that what's happening?
不！我才不想上你 No! I'm not gonna fuck you, ever!
下来！ Get off!
嘿！ Hey!
干啥？你要做啥子？ What? What are you gonna do?
用你的手掐死我？ Choke me with your liver-spotted hands?
还是走过来把我推下去？ You gonna push me over with your Walker?
你能追上我很了不起 I'm impressed you caught up to me.
你可能从来没有跑那么快过 You probably haven't run that fast
自从你在操场上玩曲棍球以来 since you played stickball in the field
在旧Wiggleby甜品店那里 behind old pop wiggleby's sweet shop.
不要动 贱货 -哦 谢天谢地 Freeze, bitch. Oh, thank God.
看看谁从该死的皮带上解脱出来了 Look who got off the motherfucking leash.
现在谁是困境中的少女？ -靠！ Now who's the damsel in distress? Schmidt: Fuck!
我猜是他了 Well, I guess it's him.
我可不是打的空心弹 Schmidt i don't have a clean shot, schmidt.
那就不要开枪！ Then don't take the shot!
可能我会开下流枪 Maybe I want to take a dirty shot.
就是你对我女儿开的那种下流枪 Kind of like the dirty shot you took on my daughter.
我没有对你女儿耍流氓 好吗？ I didn't take a dirty shot on your daughter, okay?
我们谈了很多 我们互相关心 We talked a lot, and we care about each other.
你身上所有的优点 All the good qualities you have,
我在Maya身上都感受到了 I can feel inside of Maya.
我要开枪了 I'm gonna take the shot.
不要开枪 Don't take the shot.
我开枪越过你的肩膀 I can shoot right through your shoulder,
正中这个贱货的胸部 hit the bitch right in the chest.
不要开枪 -我就是要开枪 Don't take the shot. I'm taking the shot.
我他妈的会开枪的 I'll take the fucking shot.
在我开枪之前谁都不准开枪 Nobody take the shot before me.
不如我们同时开枪？ -谁也不能开枪 Mercedes: How about we take it at the same time? No one take a shot.
等 等 等 等 Wait, wait, wait, wait!
靠！你有权利保持沉默... Shit! You have the right to remain silent...
不 不 不 我来处理这个 Dickson: No, no, no, I got this.
你去抓鬼见愁 他在楼顶 You go handle the ghost. He's on the roof.
我马上去 -交给我了 I'm on it. I got it.
你在看什么？ Dickson: What you looking at?
手铐铐的不错 宝贝女儿 Good job on the cuffs, baby girl.
他妈的这么多级台阶 So many fucking stairs.
是我 是我 -靠 It's me! It's me! Shit.
你做到了 伙计 你抓到Mercedes？ (Chuckles) You made it, dude. Did you get Mercedes?
是啊 完全靠我一个人 Yeah. All by myself.
真的？ Really?
主要是靠我 -好的 Mainly by myself. Okay.
还有伙计 你说的很对 那个兰博基尼... And, dude, you were right, that lambo...
我现在不想提那个 Just can't hear that right now.
那车很逊 一点儿不好 It's a shitty-made car. It's not good.
嘿 我们走吧 我们该走了 Hey, let's go. We got to go.
你还剩多少子弹？ How many bullets you got left?
一个也没了 None
那就表现的像你有一样 Act like you have bullets, then.
我们该走了 We gotta go!
我们得等我女儿 We have to wait for pudding!
Jenko！
快走 快走！ Go, go!
给你 拿着这个 -好的 Here, take this. Okay.
我是想给你挡个子弹的 伙计 I tried to take a bullet for you, man.
但是你没挡住 Yeah. But you didn't.
但是我试了 重要的是想法 But I tried. It's the thought that matters.
不是 重要的不是想法 No, it's not the thought that counts.
是要挡住子弹 It's fucking taking the bullet.
掩护我 我要跑远一点 Cover me. I'm gonna go long.
好的 Okay.
拜 拜 终结者！ Bye-bye, Terminator!
嘿！从我直升机上滚下去 Hey! Get off of my chopper!
你能把他晃下来么？ Can you shake him off?
我来抓你了 草泥马！ I'm coming for you, motherfucker!
快点 把驾驶杆前后摆动 Ghost: Come on, just wiggle the stick back and forth!
他就一只手在飞机上了 He's only got one arm!
我用一只胳膊就能打你的老二 I only need one arm to punch you in the dick.
把他晃下来！晃下来！ Shake him off! Shake him off!
别像个娘儿们！ Don't be a pussy!
我嘞个草 Holy shit!
我做到了 Schmidt: I did it!
我他妈看起来就像个坏蛋！ I look so fucking badass!
哦 天啊 你飞起来了 Oh, my God, you flew!
太疯狂了 This is crazy!
你飞跃了 伙计 You made the leap, man!
你为啥要这么做？ Why'd you do that?
因为你这么做了 Schmidt: 'Cause you did it!
我不能留你一个人挂着 伙计！ I couldn't leave you hanging, man!
你说什么傻话呢？我很好 我能行 What are you talking about? I was fine. I had it.
你没有... You weren't...
我抓到你了！ -我操 Schimidt！ I got you! Shit! Schmidt!
我抓到你了！ I got you!
你救了我的命！ You saved my life!
我刚刚意识到 I just realized something.
你没有拖我后腿 伙计 You don't hold me down, man.
你提升了我 You lift me up.
从里到外都是 Literally and figuratively.
是 我知道 我知道双重意义上 Yeah, I know. I meant both.
你也有拖我下水 伙计 You don't drag me down, either, man.
我的意思是 除现在之外 I mean, except right now.
你确实在拖我后腿 你太重了 You're dragging me down. You're really heavy.
嘿 听着 我短裤里有个手榴弹 Hey, listen, there's a grenade in my shorts.
你能够到么？ Can you reach it?
你要伸到内衣里 You gotta go in from underneath.
哦 靠 Oh, shit!
是这个么？ -那是我的老二 Is that it? That's my dick.
那是什么？ What about that?
那也是我的弟弟 That's my dick also.
为什么硬了啊？ Why is it hard?
我现在肾上腺素分泌太多了！ I have so much adrenaline right now!
是这个么？ -你把我挠痒了 Jenko: Is that it? (Laughing) You're tickling me.
我找不到！ I can't find it!
就是这个！ 抓住它！ That's it! Grab it!
好耶！ Yes!
不 我把它放嘴里了 No, I got it in my mouth.
扔的时候说点酷的！ Say something cool when you throw it!
一 二 三 One, two, three!
来点酷的！ Something cool!
他们掉下去了！ They're gone!
我感觉太... Oh, I feel so...
哇哦！ Whoo-hoo!
我们做到了！ We did it!
伙计 靠 我 啊哦！ Dude, fuck, I'm... ow!
哦 糟糕！抱歉 Oh! Shit, sorry.
伙计 我太想你了 Dude, I miss you so much, man.
我也想你 I miss you, too.
你就像是花的种子 You were like a tiny little flower seed
我紧紧握在手中 and I was clenching you in my fist.
但是 花儿在手掌里不能成长 But a flower, it can't grow in a fist.
种子需要自由的飞离 找到自己的土壤 A little seed needs to fly away free and find its soil.
是 我知道 我试着给自己土壤 但是伙计我不喜欢 Yeah, I know. I tried to soil myself and, dude, I didn't like it.
我想要没有摩擦的关系 I wanted a relationship without friction.
伙计 你需要摩擦才能产生火花 Dude, you need friction to create fire.
这就是我们所拥有的 我们有火花 And that's what we have, we have fire.
哥们 我参加 我完全加入 Dude, I'm in. I'm all in.
谢天谢地 Thank God.
这就是我一直想要的 只有你和我伙计 Dude, this is what I've always wanted. Just me and you, buddy.
我爱你 I love you.
我也是 我爱你 伙计 Me, too, man. I love you, man.
你知道么？ You know what?
他们应该在一起 That's who he should be with, man.
啥？ What?
嘿 你刚刚扔手榴弹的时候说了啥？ Hey, what'd you say when you threw the grenade up there?
我说：来点酷的 (Laughs) I said, "something cool."
你说什么？ What did you say?
就是 “来点酷的” -不是 但是你说了什么？ It was "something cool." No, but what'd you say?
是 我知道 我说 “来点酷的” Yeah, I know. I said, "something cool."
我没想到春假会这么没劲 I didn't expect spring break to be this stinky.
相当恶心 It's pretty gross.
我们太老受不了这些垃圾了 Man, we're getting too old for this shit.
我过了玩这些的年纪了 We started off too old for this shit.
你说的没错 (Chuckling) You ain't lying about that.
伙计 对于胳膊中枪的事 Dude, we're even about the arm thing, okay? Right?
你想怎么补偿 What? What do you want to do? (Laughs)
别动 - 靠 行了 Don't move. Fuck. All right.
快点开始吧 好吗 -别动 Just get it over with, all right? Don't move.
一 - 就擦过我的胳膊 One... Just graze my arm.
我不想你打到骨头 - 二 I don't want you to hit the bone. ...Two,
三 three.
靠 靠 - 我操 Fuck! Fuck! Shit!
我的天 你没事吧 -我靠 Oh, my God, are you all right? Shit!
为什么? 为什么我在你身边总是受伤 Why, man? Why am I always getting hurt around you?
Jenko你这是在干什么？ Jenko, what are you doing?
去你妈的schmidt - 别闹了 Fuck you, schmidt. Stop dicking around.
嘿 队长 -恭喜你们俩 Hey, cap. Congratulations, you two.
你们完成了之前搞砸的任务 You managed to un-fuck up the situation you originally fucked up.
谢谢 Thanks.
我希望你没有上过我女儿 I wish you can un-fuck my daughter,
不过这事先过去 but I'm gonna let that be the past.
现在 你们下一个任务 Now, for your next mission,
你们俩混小子要去医学院 you two sons of bitches are going to medical school.
什么？ What?
这一次 是外国交换学生 This time, foreign exchange students.
牛叉 -耶 Awesome. Yes!
在俄罗斯 In Russia.
什么？ What?
回见 Do svidanya.
伏特加苏打水 Vodka soda.
下一个任务 海上学期 Next assignment. A semester at sea.
你们俩混小子要去烹饪学校 You two sons of bitches are going to culinary school.
这个馅饼里有芯片 There's a microchip in this empanada.
传统家庭食谱 Old family recipe.
保守秘密最好的地方 Best to keep it a secret.
哦 我操 Oh, shit!
新任务... New assignment...
队长 你有没有觉得schmidt不一样了 Cap, does schmidt look any different to you?
没有 这就是schmidt Dickson: No. That's schmidt.
我不知道你在说些什么 伙计 I don't know what you're talking about, man.
他跟以前一样 He look exactly the same to me.
我戴了新眼镜 I got new glasses.
是啊 他就是戴了新眼镜 混蛋玩意 Yeah, man, he just got some new glasses, man. God damn.
没人会注意的 (Whispering) No one's gonna fucking notice.
我们开干吧 schmidt Let's do this, schmidt.
好 就像我们一直做的一样 Jenkins Yeah. Just like we always do, Jenkins.
是jenko - 抱歉 (Whispering) It's jenko. Sorry.
真的 真的很高兴你回来 schmidt I'm really, really glad you're back, schmidt.
你在说什么? 什么合同纠纷? What are you talking about? What contract dispute?
我一直在这 I've been here the whole time.
他妈的给我闭嘴 Dickson: Man, shut the fuck up.
飞行学院怎么样？ How about a flight academy?
卧底就要酷一点 Undercover just got a whole lot sexier.
你们是龙虎局的是吧？ You're jump street, right?
你他妈怎么知道的 Yeah. How the fuck do you know that?
我是booker I'm booker.
哦 你是个传奇人物 Oh, shit. Man, you're a legend.
交通学院 Traffic school!
军事学院 Military school.
潜水训练班 Scuba class.
舞蹈学院 Dance academy.
好耶 Yes.
总算是一个超赞的了 Finally something I'm amazing at.
¶ Your friends'll be there when your back is to the wall
¶ you'll find you need us
¶ 'cause there's no one else to call
你们俩混小子要去电子游戏里去 dickson: You sons of bitches is gonna be in a video game.
让我们爆了这些东西 Schmidt: Let's blow shit up.
龙虎风格 Jenko: Jump street style.
¶ We out of control all over the place
¶ and somebody gotta put it to a stop, quick
¶ out on the road all up in your face
准备受死吧 你个坏蛋 jenko: Get ready for a lifetime of being badass motherfuckers.
他把墨汁吐我嘴里了 Schmidt: It's inking in my mouth!
别搞我女儿 Dickson: Don't fuck my daughter.
¶ They're the jump street and 'bout to jump up in your ass
¶ this the special unit that's designed to keep it quiet
¶ we infiltrate the dealers and we find the damn suppliers
¶ don't need permission to decide what you believe
¶ say jump, jumping down on jump street
好了 新任务 all right, new assignment.
化了六小时妆 Six hours of makeup?
我们做这行太老了 We're getting too old for this shit.
不错 (Chuckling) Nice.
¶ wait, we just here trying to find us
¶ schmidt went lookin', till he found love
¶ got his life sweet, bon appetit
¶ spring break, bitch, throw a party on the beach
¶ shit did change, but all that means
¶ is that your real friends don't ever leave
¶ will it ever be complete?
¶ Jump street won't ever cease
¶ ever cease ever cease
¶ ever cease ever cease ¶
来点酷的 both: Something cool!
后面还有
¶ we're gonna live forever
¶ we're gonna live for we're gonna live for
¶ yeah, me and my homie this is aye
¶ and it's going down like a fire drill
¶ came a long way, now we part here
¶ and we still running shit, call it diarrhea
¶ coming up together like them good fellas
¶ heart through the loop
¶ holding down, keep it real in these streets
¶ back to the roof
¶ anywhere, anytime I got your back like a spine
¶ my homies never left behind my whole team get to shine
¶ the world has opened up that's why we're blowing up
¶ that's why we rolling up drinking till we throw up
¶ the way we get this cheddar, there ain't nobody better
¶ write our names in the sky 'cause we gonna live forever
¶ live forever, man
¶ we're gonna live forever
¶ we're gonna live for we're gonna live for
¶ life of the party, patron and bacardi
¶ get faded, get sloppy, and all up in that chick's body
¶ came up with the people that's real
¶ ticket to the meal
¶ now like it, we all together
¶ that's just how it is
¶ I'm throwed like a strike out
¶ shine brighter than a lighthouse
¶ bigger than the white house
¶ go against my team, get wiped out
¶ got them choppers like troopers
¶ don't make me split your head
¶ my lil' homie left up here, he'll smoke ya like a cig
¶ we're gonna live forever
¶ we're gonna live for we're gonna live for
¶ we're gonna live forever
¶ we're gonna live for we're gonna live for
¶ we're gonna live forever
¶ yeah
¶ forever ¶
Eric.
Eric 你醒着的吗？ Eric, are you awake?
没有 No.
我来迟了 I'm late.