[PENGUINS CHIRP] [ALL CHEERING]
[SCREECHES] ♪ adventure time ♪
♪ come on, grab your friends ♪ ♪ we'll go to very distant
lands ♪ ♪ with Jake the dog
and Finn the human ♪ ♪ the fun will never end ♪
♪ it's adventure time ♪
ICE KING: [SNORING] [LOCK CLATTERING]
Save me, Finn and Jake. JAKE: Shh!
Save me, Finn and Jake. JAKE: We are.
Save me, Finn and Jake. JAKE: Why does she keep
saying that? FINN: I think she's
traumatized, dude. JAKE: Don't worry, princess.
We're gonna get you out of here. FINN: Whoo-hoo! Yeah! Yeah!
ICE KING: [SNORING] Huh?! What was that?!
Darling, are you all right? I thought I heard a [GASPS]
[BEARD FLAPPING] [DOOR CREAKS]
Oh, I see what happened. She broke up with me.
Well, it's your mistake, missy! This ice king's gonna be fine!
[MOANS LOUDLY] Why did she leave?
I put so much cool stuff in her little prison!
Come on, old boykeep it together.
Hey, maybe she called me! [BEARD FLAPS]
Please, please, please. Doo-doo, doo, doo-doo, doo-doo.
No new messages?! [GRUNTS]
[GLASS SHATTERS] [SCREAMS]
[SIGHS] This is where she used to do her
business. [SIGHS]
I'm so tired of looking at this face.
[HUMMING, RAZOR BUZZING] [SIGHS]
Heehee, not bad. And now for some healthy
exercise. [LAUGHS]
I'm forgetting about that silly old break-up already.
[BREATHING RHYTHMICALLY] All right, let's fly!
Ohh! You fool, you can't fly without
your beard. I'm going to be alone forever.
Hi! ICE KING: Beautiful princess.
Excuse me for approaching you, sir.
You just seemed so approachable. [BOTH LAUGH]
ICE KING: That's funny -- usually my looks put people off.
[GIGGLING] [BIRDS CHIRPING]
ICE KING: Is someone paying you to do this?
[GIGGLING] Tell me about yourself.
ICE KING: Well, there's not much to tell, really.
I'm an ice king. Oh, a nice king.
ICE KING: [LAUGHS] No, no, dear, you misheard me.
I'm not a nice king. I'm a...
[TWINKLE!] ...A really nice king.
[CHUCKLES] And I'm single. [GIGGLING]
Oh, my gosh! [BEEP, CELLPHONE RINGING]
Yeah, guess what? Slime princess is in the park,
and she's, like, talking to a new nice king.
[MUNCHING] And he's, like, totally single.
By the way, don't tell anybody. [TELEPHONE DIALING]
There's a new king in town. Oh, my goodness, I can't
wait to meet him. [INDISTINCT TALKING, RINGING]
FINN: [LAUGHS] And I was like, "leave him
alone!" And he was like, "make me."
And I was like, "okay." And then he was like, "agh, my
head!" [LAUGHS]
Dude, what are you doing? JAKE: I'm just trying to get
a signal. It's like everyone in ooo is on
their phones or something. Oh, man! Ohh!
Have you guys... Seen the new...
Nice king? FINN: Nice king?
Yeah... He's single...
And he's ours! Now get out of our way!
FINN: Agh! [FROG CROAKS]
JAKE: Man, now we got to kick that frog out of his new home.
FINN: Nah. Let him keep it. Hey, if there's a new king and
he's nice, we should offer our services.
JAKE: Finn and Jake-style. Yoo-hoo! Nice king!
[INDISTINCT TALKING] ICE KING: Ladies, I'll have
time to meet you individually later.
Please, just stop squirming. But this looks like a prison.
ICE KING: Pris-- [LAUGHS] Don't be ridiculous.
It's a waiting room. Stop squirming.
BOTH: Nice king! Aaaah!
ICE KING: Finn and Jake! You'll never take me alive!
BOTH: Huh? FINN: You're the nice king,
right? ICE KING: Oh, yeah.
I keep forgetting that. FINN: Well, we will honor and
serve you. ICE KING: Serve me?
FINN: Yeah. We want to be your nice knights.
ICE KING: [LAUGHS EVILLY] Uh, sounds...
Nice. With my rod of niceness, I dub
thee two my nice knights. FINN: Yay! We're knights!
BOTH: Nice! FINN: Who do you want us to
nice-knights against? Nice king, I love you!
Did I tell you that I like the opera?
But if you don't, I hate it! ALL: Nice king...
ICE KING: Please! I'm trying to tell my
nice knights something! [ALL GASP]
[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY] Come here.
The main enemy to the nice king right now is the disorganization
of his love life. FINN: Well, what do you mean?
ICE KING: The ugly ones are all mixed up with the other
ones! I need you to catalog them or
something. JAKE: [LAUGHS]
But we punch monsters. ICE KING: After I choose my
bride, then you can go punch the monsters.
FINN: Managing admirers? We'll give it a try.
Let's move on to something easier.
Um, do you like drums? Um, am I supposed to?
JAKE: She's dodging the question.
FINN: Are you fond of men with magical abilities?
I'm really nervous right now. I just really want to meet a
nice king. JAKE: You can go back to the
waiting room now, ma'am! I screwed it up, didn't I?
[CRYING] JAKE: I think we did a good
job. FINN: I don't feel good
making a princess cry. This is not how knights are
supposed to act. JAKE: Finn, knights are loyal
to their king. FINN: I'm still not sure.
JAKE: Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba. Loyalty to the king.
FINN: Can't argue with that. ICE KING: Hey, nice knights,
turtle princess is about to walk out that door.
I told her that I like her a lot, but I really don't like her
all that much. Could you guys break it off for
me? FINN: The nice king is not
looking for a relationship right now.
JAKE: Get out of here! [CRYING]
FINN: He's just not ready for a relationship!
JAKE: All right! We did it, dude!
FINN: [SIGHS] I feel terrible.
I need to talk to the nice king about this.
ICE KING: Yes, yes, keep walking in a circle.
[LAUGHS] FINN: Nice king, may I speak
with you for a moment? ICE KING: Princesses, I must
speak to my knight in private. Go on, back into your cage.
BOTH: Bye, nice king! ICE KING: What's up, knight?
FINN: I don't like treating princesses this way.
I don't want to -- I don't want to do this anymore.
ICE KING: Your loyalty is in question?
FINN: It's not that. It's just, princesses are
supposed to be treated with niceness.
ICE KING: Are you implying that I'm not the nice king?
FINN: What's wrong with you?! ICE KING: [LAUGHS EVILLY]
Hey, I'm here! ICE KING: Ugh!
[WHISPERING] Finn, get rid of her.
FINN: What?! No, man! ICE KING: She's too loud and
lumpy. I like smooth princesses --
smooth. I can be smooth.
[GRUNTING] [EXHALES SHARPLY]
Finn, punch out my lumps. FINN: What?!
I can be whatever he wants. I can change!
FINN: I can't punch a princess!
ICE KING: Oh! Finn, just punch her!
Let me see what she looks like smooth.
FINN: [SIGHS] Yes! Hit me, hit me, hit me!
FINN: [GRUNTING] I'm sorry, lumpy space princess.
I just can't punch you. Are you serious?
Fine. I'll do it myself. [GRUNTING]
FINN: Princess, no! ICE KING: Wait a minute,
nice knight. Let's see what she can do.
There. How's that? Better?
ICE KING: Eh. No, I don't like her.
This is all your fault, Finn! [CRYING]
FINN: King, I'm sorry -- I just can't do this anymore.
Punching princesses, breaking hearts -- it doesn't seem nice
at all. ICE KING: Hey!
You're on thin ice, nice knight! Huh?
FINN: Huh. ICE KING: [GASPS]
The jig is up! FINN: What jig?
ICE KING: Uh... [CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]
My jig is up -- up high. It's a highland jig.
I have a new assignment for you, one with more knight-related
stuff -- very important. FINN: Oh, wow! Awesome!
What is it? ICE KING: The ice king stole
my razor. Sneak into his trap-filled ice
castle and retrieve it. And don't look through the shoe
box that he keeps behind the laundry bag in the closet.
FINN: Wha? ICE KING: Those are my
orders! FINN: Yes -- finally
something knight-like! BOTH: Get ready, ice king,
for battle! ICE KING: And once I have my
razor, I can select my elite army of wives and take over the
world!
FINN: Whoa, Jake! Look at all his hair.
JAKE: Did the ice king shave his back or something?
FINN: [LAUGHS] [GASPS]
The nice king's razor! [RAZOR BUZZING]
Jake, look, check this out. Aaaah!
JAKE: Relax, dude. It's just me.
FINN: [LAUGHS] You look just like the ice king.
And so do I. JAKE: [LAUGHS]
These whiskers would make anyone look like the ice king.
FINN: [LAUGHS] Yeah, even the nice king.
[BOTH GASP] The nice king is the ice king!
ICE KING: Ugh. What do those princesses see in
this face? Hope I can keep this going.
So many princesses to meet. Whiskers!
I can't be growing whiskers now! [SHOUTS]
I haven't picked who I want to marry me!
FINN: Nice king! ICE KING: Did you retrieve my
stolen razor? FINN: Yeah, and also...
This! ICE KING: My beard!
Uh, I mean, what is that? JAKE: [SCOFFS]
He knows what it is. FINN: Let's get him, Jake!
Stop! We're not gonna let you beat up
the nice king. FINN: He's not the nice king!
He's the ice king! We don't believe you!
JAKE: Man, these ladies really want to get married.
FINN: Jake, we can't beat up princesses!
JAKE: Relax, dude. Just get behind my ear shield.
[INDISTINCT SHOUTING]
ICE KING: [PANTING] Wait, I can't fly!
FINN: Let me help you! Hyah!
ICE KING: No! Wait! FINN: Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
Now fly, you liar! ICE KING: Ugh!
[GROANING] Huh?
Ladies, ladies... [CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]
...I can shave it off again. And when you get fat, I'll grow
it back. Uh, aah!
[INDISTINCT SHOUTING] FINN: Now that's what I call
a close shave. JAKE: Oh!
[GROANS]
FINN: Get it, get it! [INSECT HISSES]
Yah! JAKE: Oooooooh!
FINN: [SHOUTING] [SHING!]
[FEELERS PATTER] JAKE: Get him out!
FINN: Don't you ever let me catch you here again.
Whoo-hoo! Yeah! [LAUGHS] Agh! Ow!
Ooooooow! Agh! Agh!
[GRUNTING] JAKE: Dget you with his
poison stingers? FINN: No!
I got a splinter from the door. JAKE: Let me see.
Wow, that's a tiny splinter. FINN: But it hurts!
I'm gonna need some... Finger protection!
Thanks, choose goose. I am choose goose.
Come back for some juice! , I am so protected
right now. That is mighty thick.
Go on -- hit me! Oh, wow.
Very nice. Very impressive.
FINN: Hey, guys! Check this out!
Dude, hit me. Ow! On my armor!
JAKE: Oh. [TINK!]
FINN: [CLICKS] [LAUGHTER]
That is but a thimble! This [CLANGS] Is real armor.
[LAUGHTER] [BIRDS CALLING]
JAKE: Wha? ALL: Sir slicer!
Who is the one that bears the thimble?
JAKE: This dude. [LAUGHS]
Oh, you foolish boy. Without full body armor, you're
weak! You do not look [CLICKS]
[LAUGHS] Yah! [HORSE WHINNIES]
FINN: Choose goose, I need more armor.
I've got something for you -- a metal shoe!
Don't you know you might stub your toe?
[LAUGHTER] FINN: Uh, no, choose goose.
I need... Look here, hun.
Choose this one to protect your buns!
Protect his butt! Protect his butt!
FINN: No, choose goose. I want --
don't be meek. What if you fall down and scrape
your cheek? Look at his butt!
[CACKLES]
FINN: Choose goose, I want the most [CLICKS] armor you
have! Ooh, have a look!
FINN: I'll take that one. Wonderful.
I'll need a trade of equal value.
I'll take the head of your dog friend.
JAKE: Say what?! FINN: No way.
Choose goose, this stuff is overpriced.
No money for me? How about a poem for free?
[LAUGHTER] A poem!
FINN: A poem? If you can decipher the poem
and complete the trials, you will receive the magical armor
of zeldron. It is foretold to be totally
[CLICKS] BOTH: Skadow!
Your quest begins in the marsh over the hill.
FINN: Ah, yes! I'm gonna get that armor!
JAKE: Yeah, man, you're gonna do it.
[BIRDS CALLING] Good luck exposing your soft,
vanilla-strawberry skin to the elements, dork!
[LAUGHS] Later, losers! [LAUGHS]
FINN: [SHOUTS] He's just jealous that I'm gonna
have cooler armor than him. JAKE: Yeah, what a
bumbleberry. BOTH: Whoa!
JAKE: What's the poem say? FINN: "The sun nibbles on the
clouds, and gum drop tears rain down."
I don't get it. JAKE: Hmm.
It means that we have to cross that swamp.
FINN: How'd you understand that?
JAKE: You don't just read the poetry to understand it.
You got to feel it. Trust me, dude -- I'm smarter
than everyone. Now get in there!
FINN: You're not coming? JAKE: No way, man.
This armor thing is your deal. I'll wait for you on the other
side. [WATER SLOSHING]
FINN: This place will be a piece of...
Aah! FINN: Aaaaah!
Oh, my gosh, I'm so sorry! Aaaaaaaaah!
Oh, no! My most private parts peeped
by a boy! FINN: [GASPS]
[BREATHING HEAVILY] Aah! Pervert!
FINN: I'm not a pervert! You should be ashamed of
yourself! FINN: I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
Aah! My privates!
FINN: I'm sorry! My privates!
FINN: I'm sorry! [BREATHING HEAVILY]
JAKE: You okay, man? FINN: No!
[BIRDS CALLING] [LAUGHS]
BOTH: Wha?! What's the matter, crimson
cheeks? Feeling a little embarrassed in
the swamp of embarrassment? You're so red, you look like a
tomato. [LAUGHS]
FINN: Aahhhh! We'll see who's embarrassed when
I get that armor! What does the poem say?
JAKE: Mm. Ooh!
"The meadow weeps as morning sings of milk and honey and
things to come." FINN: What does that even
mean?! JAKE: It means we have to
silence the echoing in the woods.
[CRYING] [BOTH GASP]
[CRYING CONTINUES] FINN: Aw, man!
I don't know how to silence that!
JAKE: All right, I'll handle this one, dude.
FINN: No. This is my burden. JAKE: Then just make her
think it's her idea. That's how you make the ladies
do what you want. FINN: Hey, monster lady!
Hey! Stop crying! Huh?
FINN: Stop crying because that's what you want to do!
[MUMBLES] FINN: Huh?!
[SCREAMING] [GASPS]
[COOS] JAKE: [LAUGHS]
She thinks you're her red-faced baby or something.
I think she wants you to nurse, dude.
FINN: No! [CONTINUES COOING]
[BIRDS CALLING] Instrel.
[MID-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYING] ♪ he's Finn the blushing
baby ♪ ♪ his cheeks are bright and
red ♪ ♪ be sure to make fun of him
before you go to bed ♪ grandfathers will sing that
to their grandchildren for generations to come.
FINN: Grandfathers will not sing that to their children!
[SHRIEKS] [CLANG!]
[WHIMPERS] Armor. [CLICKS]
[HORSE WHINNIES] FINN: Just wait till I have
the armor of zeldron! JAKE: Yeah, just you wait,
weirdo. Uh, Finn? Uh-oh.
[SNORING] FINN: Jake, you okay? Huh?
[GRUNTS] BOTH: Yeah!
FINN: Awesome! Bhoa!
FINN: Finally. Yah!
Hello. FINN: Begone, ghost!
I'm here for the armor! First, you have to beat my
high score in a game of drop ball.
BOTH: Drop ball? Drop ball is an extremely
addictive, high-intensity game designed for people everywhere.
Here, let me show you. [BUTT CHEEKS SQUEAK]
One point. [BUTT CHEEKS SQUEAK]
Two points. [BUTT CHEEKS SQUEAK]
Three points. FINN: This game looks awful.
Oh, no. I absolutely disagree.
FINN: Dude, let's just kill him and get the armor.
JAKE: How? He's already dead. Here. It's your turn.
Now, I don't want you to be intimidated, but my high score
is six. FINN: Guh!
Just -- just toss it on the ground.
No, no, no! You're doing it all wrong!
Let me show you how the pros do it.
[GRUNTS] See? It's all in the technique.
Now, I'm gonna put a little finesse into it, just to shake
things up. BOTH: Whoa!
JAKE: Finn, it's so beautiful!
FINN: Yeah -- guess all the embarrassment was worth it.
Greetings, young traveler. We know what you seek, and you
shall receive it. Behold -- the armor of zeldron.
It will protect you from evil, even ghosts.
FINN: Huh?! Aah! No! Dude, this is lady armor!
JAKE: [CLICKS] [CLICKS]
FINN: No, not [CLICKS] no more embarrassment!
I don't need armor! You did not watch my
drop-ball technique! BOTH: Huh?
I give you firsthand tips that no one else knows, and this
is how you thank me?! I absolutely disagree with that!
[ROARS] FINN: Now what?
JAKE: Put on the armor. It'll protect you from evil,
even ghosts! FINN: Never!
Yaaaaaaah! [SHOUTS]
Unh! Wah!
[ROARS] FINN: [CHOKING]
JAKE: Hey! [HISSES]
Huh? Mama?
JAKE: Uh... Yeah!
[HIGH-PITCHED VOICE] Listen when your mother is speaking to
you. Yes, mama.
JAKE: You should be ashamed of yourself -- a boy your age
sitting in this cave alone for thousands of years.
You need to go outside and get some sunlight.
But I... JAKE: No back talk!
Outside now! [WHIMPERS]
Aaaaaaah! FINN: Whoa.
Oh, thank you, Finn and Jake! You've freed me from the
addiction of drop ball. JAKE: [NORMAL VOICE] No
problem, dude. I couldn't have done it without
the power of embarrassment! FINN: And I learned I don't
need armor to be -- [BIRDS CALLING]
[LAUGHS] Look at you losers.
Finn, you don't have any armor, and your friend is dressed like
a lady. [LAUGHS] So not [CLICKS]
FINN: Well, at least I don't spend my day following a kid
around! Get a life, dude!
[LAUGHTER] JAKE: Good one, Finn.
[LAUGHS] Well, I've...
Just been in the same areas today.
[LAUGHTER] Yeah, right.
JAKE: Whatever. Be quiet!
I -- I am more [CLICKS] than all of you.
FINN: Come over here and say that to my fist!
Okay, I will. Whoa!
[MOANS] This armor's too heavy!
No problem. I'll just prop myself up on this
stick. Agh!
Splinter! FINN: Hey, sir slicer, maybe
you can use this! Here you go!
Oh! FINN: Free of charge.
Oh! JAKE: Come on, dude, let's
get out of here. FINN: [LAUGHS] Okay, buddy.
JAKE: Wa-hoo! Dude, this armor is totally
[CLICKS]