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一年一度的职业保龄球圣诞锦标赛
At the pro bowlers' annual christmas tournament,
全国各地最出色的选手们
Where some of the most incredible athletes...
汇聚于此来争夺
...from around the country have gathered to compete...
这项运动的最高奖项
...for the sport's biggest prize.
运动? 哈! 这是运动?!
Sport? Ha! Sport?!
嘿, 最新消息, 各位
Hey, news flash, people.
保龄球可不是一项运动
Bowling is not a sport.
一个真正的运动员才有资格得到这些奖金
A real athlete deserves this prize money.
哦, 不用担心, 我不会偷的
Oh, but don't worry, I'm not gonna steal it.
我会赢得它们
I'm gonna win it.
运动大师, 你果然在这种地方
Sportsmaster. Figures I'd find you in the gutters.
我很愿意公平竞争, 蝙蝠侠
I like to play fair, batman,
但是你已经无路可逃了
But you're outnumbered.
幸好打击罪犯是一项团队运动
Then it's a good thing crime fighting is a team sport.
好了, 甲虫, 运动大师归我
Ok, beetle. Sportsmaster's mine.
你负责那些小喽啰
You take the second-stringers.
别对我指手画脚的, 笨蛋!
Don't tell me what to do, goober!
哦, 这下好了, 蝙蝠侠要觉得我是个混蛋了
Oh, great. Now batman thinks I'm a jerk.
好吧, 他怎么可能知道你开始和我说话了?
Well, how's he supposed to know you started talking to me?
嘿, 可能是我疯了
Hey, call me crazy,
但我很肯定蝙蝠侠绝对不是浪得虚名
But I'm pretty sure batman doesn't banter with his suit.
哈! 终于可以来场真正的比赛了
Ha! At last, a little real competition.
我知道我马上就要被攻击了
I know I'm under attack.
给我些武器让我能做点儿什么
Give me something I can dobobout it.
来点不会把整栋楼轰飞的武器怎么样?
How about something less likely to blow up the entire building?
啊~ 好多了
Ah, much better.
这场算平局
We're gonna have to call this match a tie.
干得漂亮, 蝙蝠
Nice one, bats.
嘿, 既然我们已经把坏家伙们打包送给警察了
Hey, so now that we've gift wrapped the baddies for the police,
你要不要来我家吃圣诞晚餐?
You think maybe you'd want for christmas eve dinner?
你知道我妈妈手艺超棒的
You know my mom's a great cook.
抱歉. 罪犯从不休假
Sorry. Crime doesn't take a holiday,
我也一样
And neither do I.
秘密圣诞老人入侵!
翻译 EL 时间轴 偷偷懒 校对 SS 片头 XX 后期 偷偷懒
尽管考古学是一门
Though archaeology is a science
研究人类过去文化的科学
That studies past human cultures
但因为它的最终目的是为了了解人类
...Because its aim is to ultimately understand mankind,
这也同样属于一种人文的追寻
It is also a humanistic endeavor.
所以, 额, 奥森教授
So, uh, professor Ulthoon,
当个考古学家就像电影里的那样吗?
Is being an archaeologist like it is in the movies,
你懂的, 就各种冒险还要打坏蛋什么的?
You know, with adventure and fighting bad guys?
不, 比利
No, billy.
恐怕考古学家主要工作在于读书和做研究
I am afraid it is mostly just reading books and research.
请稍等一下
Excuse me one moment.
观察结果: 你的孩子们需要进行
Observation: Your children need another discussion
交通安全知识的再教育, 琼斯先生
About traffic safety, mr. Jones.
非常感谢你, 红旋风
Thank you so much, red tornado.
你英勇的行为无疑让我的家人
Your heroics have certainly filled our family
感受到了圣诞精神
With the christmas spirit.
圣诞精神? 请阐述
Christmas spirit? Elaborate.
你知道的, 就是你心里(体内)的一种惬意感( 痒)
You know, that tingly feeling you get inside.
因为这是一年中最棒的一天!
Because it's the bestest time of the year!
这是一种我从未体会过的感觉
This is not something I have ever been filled with.
你当然没有过了, 傻小子, 你只是个机器人
Of course not, silly. You're just a robot.
还是缺少某些变量
Some variable is still missing.
叮叮当, 叮叮当
♪ jingle bells, jingle bells ♪
铃儿响叮当
♪ jingle all the way ♪
我已经学到了最重要的一课
I've learned the most important lesson of all.
你想知道圣诞精神的秘密吗, 比利?
Do you want to know the secret of christmas spirit, Billy?
是的, 是的, 请阐述, 拜托了
Yes. Yes. Elaborate, please.
插播一条重大新闻
We interrupt with this breaking story.
飞碟入侵了我们的城市
Flying saucers have invaded our town.
不久前, 他们发送了这则视频讯息
Moments ago they sent this transmission.
地球人!
People of earth!
向我们投降, 不然, 圣诞老人就会
Surrender to us the one called Santa Claus,
摧毁你们!
Or be destroyed!
从今天开始
From this day forward,
他终将会给海王星上的孩子们
He will finally bring the children of neptune
带来久违的的快乐和幸福!
The joy and happiness they have long been denied!
目前只有蝙蝠侠保卫着这座城市
Only batman is on the scene to defend the city.
今年的平安夜也如我所料
not exactly how I was expecting to spend my christmas eve.
圣诞快乐, 蝙蝠侠
Merry christmas, batman.
现在不是时候, 红旋风
Now's not the time, red tornado.
但是圣诞节不是明天吗?
But isn't christmas tomorrow?
我不是这个意思
Not what I mean.
旋风, 小心身后!
Tornado, behind you!
海王星上是无人居住的
Neptune is uninhabited.
不开玩笑, 在你的数据库里查查
No kidding. Search your database
以外星人为主题的圣诞电影
For christmas movies featuring aliens.
已完成, 有一个检索结果
Done. One refefence.
海王星假日, 发行于1954年
Holiday for neptunians, produced 1954.
这些外星人的形象来源于电影
The alien transmission was taken from the film.
我去把它们聚集起来以吸引火力
I'll herd them and draw their fire.
剩下的就交给你了
You do the rest.
塑料
Plastic.
这些是地球上制造的玩具
These are earth-made toys.
交叉检索已知
Cross-referencing known producers
飞碟玩具制造商
Of flying saucer toys.
你找不到和这个标志相符的公司的
You won't find a match for this stamp.
未在列表中找到相符数据
Stamp does not match listed manufacturers.
我刚刚说过了
I just said that.
就像任何自负的艺术家一样
Like any artist with a giant ego,
他总是要在自己的作品上做标记
He has to sign his work.
你不觉得吗, Fun Haus?
Don't you, Fun Haus?
我只是在这附近玩玩我的新玩具, 蝙蝠侠
I was just playing around with my new toys, batman.
这有错吗?
Is that so wrong?
基于犯罪记录显示, 你绝大部分的行为都有错
Based on criminal records, most of your actions are wrong.
暴力抢劫罪, 违反假释条例
Felony robbery, parole violation,
暴力袭击, 乱穿马路
Felony assault, jaywalking...
不是时候, 旋风
Not now, Tornado.
如果你以为我们会任你肆意妄为
If you think we're your deranged rampage,
那你就错了
You're wrong.
是, 是
Yes, yes.
要是“如果”和“但是”都是蜜饯和坚果
♪ if "ifs" and "buts" were candy and nuts ♪
我们都会有一个快乐的圣诞节
♪ we'd all have a merry christmas ♪
不幸的是, 今晚的游戏才刚刚开始
Unfortunately, the games have only just begun tonight.
圣诞节是我一年中最喜欢的日子
christmas is my favorite time of year.
你不来和我玩吗?
Won't you play with me?
是炸弹!
It's a bomb!
我的圣诞心愿
my christmas wish
就是把所有东西都炸成碎片
Is to blow everything to smithereens.
旋风, 把这个东西送到高处
Tornado, give this more altitude.
优先指令: 阻止Fun Haus破坏圣诞节
Imperative: Fun Haus cannot ruin christmas.
他不只是要毁掉圣诞节
This is about more than ruining christmas.
无论如何, Fun Haus首先是个骗子
Fun Haus is a crook before he's anything else.
并且为什么你如此在意圣诞节?
And why do you care so much anyway?
我十分缺乏圣诞精神
I am lacking christmas spirit.
这是一个我希望获得的体验
It is something I wish to experience.
你高估它了
It's overrated.
观察结果: 我不是唯一一个缺少它的人
Observation: I am not the only one who lacks it.
也许这个能够帮助到我们两个
Perhaps this will help us both.
你客气了
You shouldn't have.
圣诞快乐, 儿子
Merry christmas, son.
我们来看看圣诞老人送了你什么
Let's see what santa brought you.
根据包装的尺寸和重量上来看
Based on the dimensions, and weight of the package,
还有摇晃起来的声音
And the sound of what's inside,
我想我已经推断出它是什么了!
I think I've deduced exactly what it is!
真是我们的小侦探啊
Our little detective.
我没有在你体内检测出任何圣诞精神
I am not detecting any christmas spirit within you.
谢了, 但是... 我什么都没有给你准备
Thanks, but I didn't get you anything.
无需道歉
Do not apologize.
我明白节日精神不在于索取
I understand giving exemplifies the holiday spirit,
而是给予
Not receiving.
但是到目前为止, 我还没有感觉到这种精神
Yet, I s still do not feel this spirit I am told of.
应该有一种内心痒痒的感觉, 对吧?
There should be a tingling sensationon, correct?
当你开始感觉痒痒的的时候, 我就要给你找个修理工了
When you start tingling, I'd see a repairman.
走吧. 我们得去找Fun Haus
Come on. We've got to find Fun Haus.
嘿, 圣诞老人
Hey, santa.
还有剩下的普雷托游戏可动手办吗?
Got any presto playpal action figures left?
他可能没听清
Maybe he didn't hear you.
提问: 你为什么不喜欢圣诞节, 蝙蝠侠?
Inquiry. Why do you dislike christmas, batman?
我没有不喜欢圣诞节
I don't dislike christmas.
我只是不喜欢罪犯
I dislike crime.
我了个...
What the...
在下面!
Down there!
好了, 圣诞老人
Ok, santa.
看来你今晚喝了太多蛋奶酒
You've been sipping a little too much eggnog.
该回家了
Time to go home.
诚然您对节日精神的执着值得称赞...
While your devotion to the holiday spirit is commendable...
他刚刚上了我的淘气名单
He just made my naughty list.
观察结果: 圣诞老人的行为不该如此
Observation... santa is not supposed to behave in this manner.
那是因为他不是圣诞老人
That's because this isn't santa.
哎呀, 这不会让孩子们做噩梦的, 对吗?
Gee, that won't give kids nightmares, will it?
嘿, 圣诞老人, 你能听到我们说话么?
Hey, santa, didn't you hear us?
假装你们没看见这个
Pretend you didn't see that.
一个圣诞奇迹!
A christmas miracle!
你的孩子是被假的圣诞老人吓到了吗?
Was your child frightened by the false santa claus machines?
没, 他知道那些全是冒充的
Nah. He knew they were fakes.
他哭只是因为他想要这游戏的可动手办
He's only crying 'cause he wants this playpal action figure.
这是圣诞节最受欢迎的玩具
It's the most popular toy for christmas.
城里的每个孩子都想要
Every kid in town just has to have one.
当我和你一样大的时候, 你的祖父把它给了我
Your grandpa gave that to me when I was your age.
现在, 它是你的了
Now, it's yours.
这个不是我想要的
This isn't what I asked for.
我想要那个侠客大冒险动作手办!
I wanted the swashbuckler action figure!
你们可真是我能想到的
You guys have been the best playpals
最棒的游戏伙伴
I could have ever asked for.
现在, 只剩下最后一个游戏给你们了
Now, I only have one more game for you.
在圣诞节前夜
'twas the night before christmas,
我藏了一个炸弹
And I've hidden a bomb.
如果你们找不到它
And if you don't find it,
这片安详的景象可就不复存在了
All won't be calm.
走吧, 旋风
Come on, Tornado.
没时间浪费了
There's no time to lose.
观察结果
Observation...
搜寻炸弹只是为了让我们疲于奔命
The search for the bomb was only a wild goose chase.
那么他试图把我们的注意力从什么东西上引开?
Then what has he been trying to distract us from?
圣诞节的早晨
Christmas morning.
希望我们今天都能得偿所愿
I hope today we both get what we wish for most.
我知道这不是你想要的那个手办
I know it wasn't the swashbuckler toy you wanted,
但是你妈妈和我认为一部侠客电影也会是个不错的选择
But your mom and I thought a swashbuckler movie would be the next best thing.
你喜欢吗?
Did you like it?
那好吧, 我们回家吧
Ok, then. Let's go home.
妈妈! 爸爸!
Mom! Dad!
有时你最想要的
Sometimes what you wish for most
往往永远无法拥有
Is the one thing you can never have.
说到心愿清单
Speaking of wish lists,
那个标志...
That logo...
Fun haus制造了普雷托游戏!
Fun haus made the presto playpals!
所以那就是他的邪恶游戏
So that's his evil game.
太棒了!
Awesome!
哦, 这是一年中最美好的时刻
Oh, it's the most wonderful time of the year.
你的新年可不会好过了
You'll be doing hard time by new year's.
等你在坟里吃午饭的时候再说大话吧
Not if you're in the grave by lunch.
如果我不能在圣诞节偷这些人的东西
If I can't steal from these people on christmas,
那我就从这些人那里偷走圣诞节
Then I'll just steal christmas from these people.
所有人去找掩护!
Everyone, get to cover!
声明
Declaration...
你将再也无法伤害这些人了, 机器人
You will endanger these people no further, robot.
需要... 更多的... 力量
Need...More...Power.
旋风, 你的身体上压强过大了!
Tornado, you're putting too much stress on your body!
啊, 我心里感觉到了一阵奇怪的痒痒的感觉
Odd. I am feeling a strange tingling sensation.
撑住, 老朋友
Hang on, old friend.
他们很快就会把你组装到一起的, 旋风
They'll have you put back together in no time, Tornado.
观察结果
Observation...
这种感觉很奇妙, 蝙蝠侠
It was an amazing feeling, batman.
圣诞快乐
Merry christmas.
也祝你圣诞快乐, 阿尔弗雷德
merry christmas to you, too, alfred.
但是罪犯从不停歇
but crime doesn't take a holiday.
我也一样
And neither do I.