They say you see gods in a time of need.
There are Gods of poverty, plague, death… not all gods you’ll be glad to meet…
God dammit, I’m really screwed.
No work, no money, I’m drowning in debt, nothing is going my way.
My wife’s pestering me nonstop…
I might as well just die now.
Yeah, that’s what I’ll do. I’ll just die…
I say that, but I've never died before…
Ain't got the foggiest clue. What should I do to die?
Shall I tell you?
Who the hell are you?
A grim reaper.
A grim reaper?
Stay away you creepy thing! Just go away!
So unwelcoming…
You said you want to die because you have no work nor money, but it’s pointless.
The thing about humans, is that no matter how hard they try,
they can’t die until their lifespan runs out.
You still have a long, long lifespan.
So instead, why don’t I help you get some work?
Care to be a doctor?
You’ll make a killing~
A doctor? But I don’t know how to take pulses or make medicine.
You don't need to know how.
The thing about sick people,
is there's an unseen reaper sitting by either their feet or their head.
I’ve made you able to see reapers.
When the reaper’s by someone’s feet, it means it’s just an illness.
If you get rid of the reaper,
no matter how serious the illness, the person will recover.
But if a reaper’s by a person’s head, it means their lifespan is up.
Even if it seems a minor illness, never interfere with a lifespan reaping,
under any circumstances.
Only when the reaper’s by the feet, chant a spell and clap twice to get rid of the reaper.
A spell? How does it go?
I’ll tell you only once. Listen well...
"Abraka Hey Hey, Big Bad Reaper Go Away."
Then, clap twice.
Heh, Is that all? Easy, Abraka Hey Hey, Big Bad Reaper Go Away!
How was- Mr. Reaper!?
Oh, I get it, the spell sent him away.
With that, the man returned home, scrawled “doctor” onto a fish cake board
and hung it outside his home. Before long, a guest arrived.
Uh, pardon, is this a doctor’s residence? Are you the doctor?
My lord's been gravely ill for some time.
Please, do what you can to heal him.
Wow, that was fast… Alright let’s go.
Upon arrival, he noticed a grim reaper sitting by the patient’s feet.
I really can see reapers…
Could you wait in the other room for bit?
Yeah, just go over there, much obliged.
Abraka hey hey, big bad reaper go away.
The reaper by the patient’s feet vanished into thin air.
As for the patient that had been groaning…
Ahh… Hey, is anyone nearby?
I haven’t felt this good in a long time. I'm so hungry...
My Lord!? Hungry…?
Doctor, is it best to give something like gruel or porridge to sick people?
Nah, if he’s hungry, then uh,
tempura and rice for two should be good.
Tempura and rice? And enough for two people?
Yeah well, one’s for me.
Very well.
After scarfing down his tempura, the patient recovered completely.
With that, word of a genius doctor spread throughout old Tokyo,
and the man quickly amassed more than enough money to pay off his debt.
And of course women began to notice that he had extra pocket change...
Hey Doctor, I haven’t gone to Kyoto yet. I really wanna go~
Hey Doctor, I wanna visit Ise Shrine~
Doctor, I guess I wanna see whatever’s over there.
Alright, alright. Let’s all go together sometime, ladies.
Surrounding himself with flirty women, he lived it up all across Japan.
But money runs out, and the women were in love with his money, not him.
So when his money ran out, they didn’t stick around.
Heh, down on my luck again…
Ah well, if I put up my sign and go back to work,
I can get as much money as I want.
Or so he thought, but once he put up his sign again, he hardly got any work.
The few times he did get work, there'd be a reaper by the patient’s head.
Criminy, ain’t there a sick person who ain’t dying that badly?
Doctor, I’m a clerk of my lord’s store, but my lord has fallen deathly ill.
Please, do what you can to heal him.
Alright, let’s check him out.
Is that your lord?
…Reaper's by the damn head. Oh well…
Mister clerk, I’m sorry. Your lord’s outta time.
Ain’t nothin’ I can do for him. Thousand pardons.
Doctor, if my lord dies, then my store will be ruined.
If you can help him live just one more year,
I’ll pay you a thousand gold coins.
...Huh? A thousand gold coins!?
With that kinda money, I’d be the richest playboy in Japan…
I don’t wanna say this after that offer, but I'm only human.
These things happen. I want the money, but I can’t do what ain't possible.
Please understand!
Doctor, please, anything you can do…
I wish I could help him!
Why’s the reaper gotta be sittin’ by his damn head!?
Why not by his feet? Not over there, but over here!
Not over there, but over…
Mister clerk, you have four capable strong men in this residence?
As many as you need.
Four’s plenty. I want each of ‘em to sit at a corner of the patient’s bedding.
This’s gonna be a gambit, so sorry if it don’t work out.
I can’t say when, but eventually I’ll signal by tapping the patient’s knees.
When I do, the men grab the corners, and flip the way the bedding faces.
That doable?
Of course.
And so the waiting game began.
It fell deeper and deeper into the night.
Aaahhh, ooohhhh,
Only the patient’s moans to be heard.
Only the reaper’s glowing eyes shining stark.
*head bobbing noises*
Doze off, c’mon doze off a little.
The sky began to brighten in the East.
And the reaper lost focus, his tiredness beginning to show.
The reaper began dozing off.
“Yes, fall asleep, fall asleep!” the doctor practically prayed,
and the reaper’s head dropped.
This was it! The doctor tapped the patient’s knees and they flipped the bedding,
the feet where the head was, the head where the feet were
Abraka Hey Hey, Big Bad Reaper Go Away!
The reaper noticed in alarm that it was now by the feet,
screamed “GYAAA” and vanished just like that.
Doctor, thank you so much. My lord recovered like a miracle.
Please take this coin box as your promised reward.
Coin... box? I only get a box!?
No! The money’s inside of it too, clearly.
Then after putting his money into his pocket...
Hehehe, why didn’t I realize I could do this earlier?
That reaper’s shocked face was priceless!
Serves 'im right, haha!
Hey. Hey.
AH! Oh, waddaya know, it's the first reaper I met.
It's been a while.
Why the hell did you pull a stupid stunt like that?
You already caught wind of that? I guess that ain’t strange for a god!
Pretty clever idea, right? If I do that, I can heal all the dying people I want.
And I’ll get all the money I could want!
I made it clear to never interfere with a reaper by a person’s head,
yet you ignored my advice.
It wasn't an illness, but a lifespan you meddled with.
You think humans are special enough to play god?
Well whatever, come with me.
Where to?
You'll find out soon enough.
The reaper tapped his cane against the ground,
and a large hold sprawled open.
Grab onto my cane.
Hell no! I ain’t grabbin’ that! I’m not- the hell did you do!?
My hand’s movin’ on its own!
Hey, you’re supposed to be my hand! stop grabbin' the cane!
I can't leggo! Hey, stop it hand! Ow!
Can't leggo... The hell you do t’me!?
Come with me. Come.
Hey, it’s pitch black in here! No, I ain't wanna die! Shit!
Please spare me! It’s so dark!
AHH!
…So damn bright all of a sudden!
…That’s a hell ton of candles. What is this?
Each candle is a person’s lifespan.
They say people’s lives are like candle flames, but I guess that’s literal.
That one that’s about to go out, is it some dying old person’s?
It’s yours.
Don’t try to scare me! You said it yourself:
I still have a long life ahead of me. There’s no way that’s mine.
The candle behind it with a ways to burn was yours until this morning.
Your current candle, the dying one with almost no wax,
belonged to the man you saved, until this morning.
When the bedding rotated, these candles also swapped.
You sold your damn life for a thousand gold coins, hehe.
You think you got a… good price on it?
Who cares about that!? Just gimme my candle back!
That which has been traded, cannot be returned.
I don’t wanna die! I don’t wanna die! Spare me! Spare me! I don’t wanna die!
You sad bastard... Fine, take this candle.
If you can light it with the dying candle, it’ll become your new lifespan.
However, if the flame dies, so do you.
O’ course, just light this with that. No way I’m dying.
Nothin' to fret.
Your hands are shaking. Flame dies, so do you.
I ain’t gonna mess this up,
*nonsensical babbling noises*
Flame’s going to die.
It’s going to die.
...See?
See? See? See? See? Seeeee...?
It died.