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接下来 Now,
共和党这边 On the Republican side,
唐床破 Donald Trump,
在密西根 密西西比和夏威夷赢得了初选 won the primaries in Michigan, Mississippi and Hawaii.
所以现在Aloha不只是问好的意思 So now Aloha means both "Hello"
还代表了“再见吧共和党” and "Goodbye Republican Party"
大家 Did y'all
大家都看了他的获胜演讲了嘛 Did you all catch his victory speech?
我就知道你们看了 因为 I thought you did, because
每个频道都在放他嘛 he was on every single channel!
我觉得尼克频道都在放 I think even Nick Jr. was running it
注：Nick Jr.是美国一家面向2-6岁幼儿的电视频道
因为我看到了个橙色的玩意在电视上 because I saw some sort of orange blob on TV.
于是 So
嘿 Hey
孩子们 Hey kid
ヽ(･ω･｡)ﾉ Hi
(´・ω・`) Hey
(○’ω’○) Hi
(/≥▽≤/) Hey
嘿 墨西哥人要来杀我们啦 Hey! Mexicans are coming to kill us.
事情是这样的 So here is the deal.
上周罗姆尼说床破是个骗子 是个糟糕的商人 Last week Mitt Romney called Donald Trump a fraud and a bad business man
因为像是床破杂志啊 because things like Trump Magazine,
床破水业啊 and Trump Water,
还有床破牛排啊 全都失败了 and Trump Steaks had all failed.
于是昨晚 在罗姆尼的家乡密西根获胜之后 So last night after winning Mitt's home state of Michigan,
床破的获胜演说变得像是产品推销 Trump's victory speech had a little bit of product placement.
几天前 罗姆尼作过一个演讲 Mitt Romney got up and made a speech the other day.
我带来了些东西 I brought some things up
因为他说 because he said
我的水业公司破产了 my water company is gone.
我表示“真的嘛，我咋不知道呢” I said, "it is ? I didn't know that".
我有着非常成功的公司 I have very successful companies.
我们既然卖水 就带了水来 We sell water and we have water.
这个非常成功 And it's a very successful...
我们有床破杂志 We have Trump Magazine.
叫做《棕榈滩宝石》 It's called the Jewel of Palm Beach.
我所有的俱乐部里都有这杂志 It's all... goes to all of my clubs.
都有好多年了 I've had it for many years
这就是床破杂志 and it's the magazine.
还有葡萄酒全家桶 You have the wines and all of that,
超自豪的呀 very proud of ...
我们制作最好的葡萄酒 要多好有多好 世界顶级 We make the finest wine as good wine as you can get anywhere in the world.
还有床破牛排 And we have Trump Steak.
恩 That's right.
就是这样 床破在一座牛排小山旁边发表获胜演说 That's right. Trump gave his victory speech next to a pyramid of raw steak.
不知他是在证明罗姆尼说错了 或者在介绍他的新竞选伙伴 He was either trying to prove Mitt wrong or introduce his new running mate.
床破 ------------------- 一堆肉 2016 ☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
努力分辨他们（床破和肉）吧 Good luck telling them apart.
就像在看电视广告一样 It was like watching an infomercial.
如果他获选 If he's elected.
床破会成为第一个自带“电视购物”标签的总统 This would make Trump the first president that come with a sticker "As seen on TV".
我觉得吧 I think... I think... I think...you know,
说实话 我觉得我明白这是啥情况了 if we're honest, I think I know what's going on here:
床破就是缺乏安全感 Donald is just insecure.
我都不知床破是不是真想当总统 I don't know if Trump even wants to be president,
这家伙只是需要不断地被认可 the guy just needs constant validation.
这不是明摆着的吗 That's clear
这不是我们大家都想要的嘛 And isn't that what all of us want?
爱 Love.
爱？也许加点牛排？ Just love and maybe steak.
而且如果我们能满足他的欲求 他也许就会消失了 And if we just give that to him maybe he'll go away.
床破先生 So Mr. Trump.
床破先生*2 Mr. Trump.
床破先生*3 Mr. Trump.
我知道你一定在看 我叫了你三遍 And I know you're watching because I said your name three times.
我只是想让你知道每个人都觉得你很酷 I just want you to know that everyone thinks you're cool.
而且你又聪明 Okay, you are smart.
你很擅长经营公司 You are good at companies.
还有做生意 And businessing.
而且毫无疑问你超有实力 And no doubt you're hung like a pool noodle.
咋了？ Oh, what's that?
发生了啥？ Oh, what's that?
有电话打进来了 I'm getting a phone call.
喂 Hello?
啊 你们是每一位在高中嘲笑过床破的的同学啊 Oh, it's everyone who made fun of Donald Trump in high school.
你说啥？你其实一直偷偷地嫉妒床破？ What's that? You were secretly jealous of him the whole time?
现在你娶的妹子比他少多了？ And now you're married to far fewer women?
好哒 我会转告他的 OK, I'll tell him
再见“真实的”来电 Goodbye, real call
再说了 床破你不用竞选总统的 Besides, Donald, you don't need to run for president
有比那更酷更精英的职位呢 because there's an even cooler, more elite position out there,
而且这个职位我们都选你 and we've all voted that you are..
职位是“美国第一” It's America's No.1 Man.
今晚我们正式宣布 And tonight to make it official,
给你颁发“美国第一”奖杯 I'm giving you the No.1 Man trophy.
你一定会喜欢的 And you'll love it
因为上面可都是肉呀 because it's packed with meat.
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