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加比负责针织品区 Gabby is in soft lines,
伊莱亚斯 你在百货区 Elias, grocery,
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乔纳 你去枪支柜台 Jonah, you're at the gun counter.
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我能和别人换一下吗? Can I switch with somebody?
翻译 凝夕 拖拉机佩佩 Miranda Jada Glory
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我就是... 就是不太信任枪支 I just--I don't really believe in guns.
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我是说... 我只是... I mean, I'm just...
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校对 Glory
大家字幕组
抗拒销售枪支 kind of against selling them
时间轴&特效 不想收假的兜兜
或购买枪支 or buying them
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或拥有枪支 or owning them.
压制 冰岛
- 你没有枪? - 没有 我要它做什么? - You don't have a gun? - No, what do I need a gun for?
监制 凝夕 苏沐秋
家庭安防 打猎 Home security. Hunting.
我是说 没有枪的话 I mean, without guns,
你怎么体面地开始一场赛车拉力赛呢? how are you gonna properly start a drag race?
上帝保佑你 我的朋友 Vaya con dios, amigos.
没有枪的话 Without a gun, I do not know
我怎么才能让野浣熊 how I would stop that raccoon
不去玷污我用来点缀草坪的小熊维尼呢? from trying to impregnate my Winnie the Pooh lawn ornament.
好吧 我不... Okay, look, I'm not...
我不是... 不是说 反对全部武器 I'm not, like, against weapons as a whole.
我在大学还练过击剑 但是... I fenced in college, but there's...
- 好吧 - 什么? - Okay. - What?
- 你在干嘛? - 我在记下你说的 - What are you doing? - Oh, I'm keeping a list
所有疯狂的白人语录 of all the crazy white-person stuff you say.
击剑啊 绝对会上榜的 Oh, fencing, that's definitely going on there.
- 还有什么? - 太多了 - What else is on there. - Oh, it's long.
有穿船鞋 英国广播公司的美国频道 I got wearing boat shoes, BBC America,
自制什锦果仁... makes his own trail mix...
- 你喜欢我的什锦果仁 - 好吧 - You love my trail mix. - All right, okay.
好吧 乔纳 你可以和... It's fine. Jonah, you can trade with...
等等 Wait, wait, wait.
我们可以反对现在的轮班分配么? We can just say no to a shift assignment?
因为我不想在试衣间 Because I would rather not be in the fitting rooms.
那基本上就是屁味密封室 They're basically just fart capsules.
我能不在男装部么? Can I not be in menswear?
那的每一样东西 都会让我想起我前男友布莱恩 Everything there reminds me of my ex-boyfriend, Brian.
不 各位 乔纳的诉求不一样 No, guys, what Jonah is asking for is different.
他是道德上拒绝枪支 He has a moral objection to guns.
如果商店让我去销售大麻或者 I'd be in the same position if the store asked us
是紧急避孕药 to start selling, you know, hashish
我也不干 or the morning-after pill.
我们确实有卖紧急避孕药 We sell the morning-after pill.
啊? What?
我不想再卖大米了 I don't wanna sell rice anymore.
它没什么味道 It doesn't taste like anything.
还有东方的... And Oriental...
好了好了 All right, all right, all right.
好吧 Okay.
轮班表就这样 不再修改了 No changing shift assignments.
我知道 我们有人不喜欢卖枪支或者药品或是大米 Okay, I get that we don't like selling guns or pills or rice,
但是超市里的所有东西我们都要卖 but we sell all those things in the store.
不要反抗了 乔纳 你就去枪支柜台 End of story. Jonah, you stay on guns.
好吧 没关系 但是我希望 我的反对意见被记录下来 Okay, fine, but I want my objection noted.
放心 你说的整句话都上榜了 Oh, that whole phrase is going on the list.
超级商店
第二季 第三集 大家字幕组 欢乐出品
我要承担售卖死亡工具的责任 Oh, so I get put on Instruments of Death duty
而你却在买披萨 and you get picking up pizzas.
亚当要带艾玛去女童子军野营旅行 Adam's taking Emma on a Girl Scouts camping trip,
我可以一个人享受一整个周末 and I have the whole weekend to myself.
你知道吗? 没有比整个周末都一个人待在家里 And you know what? There is nothing cooler
享受十二张法式面包披萨 than spending two days at home alone
更爽的事儿了 with 12 French bread pizzas.
我又没想都吃完… I'm not gonna eat all of them...
- 那就好 - 但是如果我烧焦了一个呢 乔纳? - Okay, good. - But what if I burn one, Jonah?
或者万一制造商的芝士出了问题呢? Or what if there's a manufacturer's cheese error?
还会有那种问题? Does that happen?
我负责这个分区两周了 I've worked two doubles in a row this week.
- 我需要完美的披萨 - 我明白 - I need my pizzas to be perfect. - I get it.
只有我和沙发 还有云九品牌红酒 Just me, the couch, some Cloud 9 brand wine...
晕九典藏葡萄酒[法语] 那是当然 A Neuage Neuf classique, of course.
还有超棒的电影 And some amazing movies.
奈飞上有个丹麦电视剧... Oh, there's a Danish drama on Netflix that...
回答错误 Wrong answer.
我想看90年代中期的浪漫爱情电影 I'm thinking mid-'90s rom-coms,
像是弗雷迪·普林兹带着宅女去了舞会那种 like Freddie Prinze Jr. Takes the nerd to the prom
电影《窈窕美眉》(She's All That)
因为在那副眼镜之下 because underneath those glasses,
她真的太美了 乔纳 she's really beautiful, Jonah.
她美极了 She's beautiful.
听起来你已经全部计划好了 It sounds like you got the whole thing figured out,
这是你应得的 所以去玩吧 开心点 and you deserve it, so you go off and have fun.
不过我就想说 But I'm just gonna throw this out there,
加勒特和我一会儿要去看篮球赛... Garrett and I are gonna watch some basketball later...
你就是想一个人 You want to be alone.
- 叮咚 回答正确 - 明白了 开心点 - Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. - Got it. Have fun.
我有空 I'm free.
棒 Cool.
各位顾客请注意 我们的运动装备部门 Attention, shoppers, there's a 40% off sale
正在六折优惠中 in our exercise gear section,
因为大家都不喜欢运动 所以下周运动装备区即将关闭 which will be closing next week due to lack of interest.
在庭院家具区 我们有... 啊! Over in patio furniture, we're gonna have... ahh!
抱歉 各位 我的错 my bad, y'all.
我反应有点失常 That reaction was very out of character for me.
我是个很酷的人 I'm normally a very cool guy.
我有很多很酷的运动鞋 还有非常活跃的性生活 I have a lot of cool sneakers and a very active sex life.
我想买一支九毫米口径的枪 I'd like that 9-millimeter
和一盒子弹 and a box of bullets, please.
好的 你想要九毫米的枪 Yes, got it. You wanted the 9-millimeter.
还有一盒子弹 And a box of bullets.
马上就好 Coming right up.
我来帮你拿出来 I'm gonna go ahead and grab that for you.
就拿出来... Just gonna grab it from...
- 就在... - 就是这个 - right... - That's the one.
就是这个... 不 我… Yeah, this is... yeah, no, I...
拿出来了... It's coming…
有点 有点重啊 That's... that's heavy.
这个有点像… This feels like...
像是十一毫米的 是吧? like an 11-millimeter, am I right?
还有子弹 The bullets, yep.
九毫米的... just the 9-millimeter...
枪!枪!枪! Gun! Gun, gun, gun, gun, gun!
枪!枪!枪! Gun, gun, gun!
没事 没事 All clear.
一切安好 All clear.
嗨 泰特 Hey, uh, Tate,
我们真的有卖紧急避孕药吗? is it true we sell the morning-after pill?
我们确实卖紧急避孕药 We definitely have the morning-after pill.
就在那 Yeah, right over there.
- 还真显眼呢 - 是的 - So prominent. - Yeah.
听着 泰特 Listen, Tate,
我绝不会让你去销售 I would never ask you to sell something
让你觉得不舒服的东西 that you were not comfortable with,
所以如果你想把它们请出药房 so if you wanna remove them from the pharmacy,
我会支持你的 I will support you.
你在逗我? Are you kidding?
我喜欢紧急避孕药 I love the morning-after pill.
我在坦帕的分时度假房里放了好几盒 I have to keep a couple boxes at timeshare in Tampa.
- 坦帕? - 是啊 - Tampa? - Oh, yeah.
女人都爱那儿 知道吗? Women love it there. You know what I mean?
那地方还挺不错的 Yeah, it's a sick place.
离沙滩只有大概十二英里吧 It's only, like, 12 miles from the beach.
好 这事就咱俩知道 Okay, but between us,
你能找个理由 could you just find a reason
让它们下架吗? to take them off the shelf?
你知道... You know, um...
就说它们 过期了? maybe say that they're, like, expired?
那就是撒谎了 That would be a lie.
泰特 你相信上帝吗? Tate, do you believe in God?
- 我觉得是有个上帝 - 是吗? - Yeah, I think there's a god. - Yeah?
但我觉得它活在大自然里 But I think he lives in nature.
像石头 树 那些东西 You know, the rocks and trees and crap like that.
说实话 我觉得上帝可能是只青蛙 Honestly, I think God could be a frog.
天啊 Oh, brother.
我们说的是哪种? So what are we talking?
白嘴鸦? 寒鸦? 厚嘴渡鸦? Rook? Western jackdaw? Thick-billed?
我不知道 那就是只乌鸦 I don't know. It was a crow.
谁在乎是哪种? Who cares what kind?
我们在乎啊 Um, we care.
- 因为如果我们要杀它的话... - 我们不会杀它 - Because if we're gonna kill it... - We're not gonna kill it.
我们会安全的把它弄出商店 We're gonna get it out of the store safely.
当然了 安全第一 Right. Obviously. Priority one is safety.
别想什么安全了 要我说我们拉响火警 Forget safety. I say we pull the fire alarm,
把商店清空 把温度调高 clear out the store, turn up the heat,
让整个地方变成个大烤箱 问题就解决了 make the whole place a oven, problem solved.
放松点 那可有点粗暴啊 Whoa, easy, that's a little violent.
是啊 疯子 怎么会有人想伤害一只鸟呢? Yeah, psycho, why would anyone want to hurt a bird?
首先第一点 因为它们就是会飞的小恐龙 ok, a. cause they're dirty flying dinosaurs.
第二点 第一点原因足够了 and b. you don't need any other reasons.
谁都不能伤害那只乌鸦 No one is hurting the crow.
它们可以认得人脸 是很厉害的生物 They are amazing creatures that recognize human face
而且它们为帮同伴举办葬礼 and they throw each other funerals.
葬礼 Funerals.
为什么要告诉我这些? Why would you give me that information?
那只会让我更紧张 That doesn't calm me down!
打扰一下 先生 Excuse me, sir.
是在叫我吗? are... are you talking to me?
对 就是你 Oh, yeah. You.
我们想买一把步枪 We would to buy one rifle, please.
就只是一把步枪 谢谢 Just the one rifle, please and thank you.
你要用来打什么? What--what are you gonna hunt for?
大骗子 Uh, liars.
麋鹿 打麋鹿 Elk. Hunting elk.
稍等一下 if you could excuse me for one moment.
我要坐在电视前 I'm just gonna sit in front of my television,
想喝啥喝啥 想吃啥吃啥 and I'm gonna eat and drink whatever I want.
你现在说的 Mm-hmm, okay, well, what you're describing
就是我每天的生活 is every single day of my life.
- 真的吗? - 你好 - Really? - Uh, hey.
那有个人我真的觉得 So there is someone over there that I really,
不应该卖给他枪 really don't think should be allowed to own a gun,
或是车 或是叉子 Um...or a car or a fork.
我该咋办? What do I do?
我想 你可以拒绝提供服务 Well, I mean, you're allowed to deny him service
但只有你觉得他非常危险的时候可以 but only if you think he's actually dangerous.
好的 Okay, good.
我怎么知道他真的很危险? How do I know that he's actually dangerous?
最好就别卖枪给他了 Yeah, maybe no gun for him.
你好 Hi.
我能看一下那把栓式步枪吗? Can I take a look at that bolt action rifle?
好的 可以 Yes, you may.
那么... All right, uh...
这支枪很贵 Oh, hey, this one is expensive.
的确 It is.
但我今天真的很想犒劳一下自己 But I really want to treat myself today.
我刚刚失业了 I just got laid off.
我很抱歉 Oh. I'm so sorry to hear that.
我很烦躁 Yeah, I'm pretty upset about it.
你有多烦躁? How upset are you?
非常烦躁 Well, extremely.
我在那工作了二十多年 I worked there over 20 years,
然后他们就像扔垃圾一样把我赶走了? and then they just get rid of me like I'm trash?
等着吧 他们会后悔的 Well, they're gonna regret it.
拒绝服务 拒绝服务 Service denied. Service denied.
你说什么? Excuse me?
你刚刚说你很烦躁 You just said you're upset
而且他们会后悔的 所以 拒绝服务 and they were gonna regret it, so nope.
因为只有我 Cause I'm the only one
了解工资管理软件 who understands the payroll software.
现在谁能做这份工作? 莫妮卡吗? I mean, who's gonna do it now? Monica?
听着 我很抱歉过分警惕了 Look, I'm sorry I'm being overly cautious,
这样吧 but you know what?
要不我们帮你找个 Why don't we try and find you
比玩枪更好的爱好吧 a better hobby than this, you know?
你有考虑过击剑吗? Have you ever considered fencing?
我不 No.
击剑烂透了 Fencing sucks.
胡说 击剑可好玩了 No, it doesn't.
听好了 顺利逮到它的关键 All right, in order for this to work,
在于我们以完全相同的速度 跑向这只乌鸦 it is critical that we run at the crow
每小时8英里 懂吗? at exactly the same speed, 8 miles per hour, got it?
是的 长官 Yes, ma'am.
准备 All right.
其实 我不知道那是多快的速度 Actually, I don't know how fast that is.
抱歉 有时候我会忘了你是亚洲人 Sorry, sometimes I forget you're Asian.
就是每小时13公里 13 kilometers per hour.
我还是不太... I still don't...
就是一分钟240步 It's 240 steps a minute.
完全没有概念 That doesn't mean anything to me.
我觉得我说的不能更清楚了 Well, I don't know how to make it any clearer.
你的意思就是跑的足够快 对吧? You're just saying just run pretty fast, right?
"足够快"是一个相对的词 "Pretty fast" Is a relative term.
你的静息心率是多少? What's your resting heart rate?
我不知道 I have no idea.
上帝啊 我们现在就来测 God, we're gonna have to figure it out now.
好吧 测量十秒内脉搏次数 Okay, take your pulse for ten seconds.
然后把这个数乘六 You're gonna multiply that number by six.
两位 你们知道 那只鸟 Dude, you know the bird flew away,
已经飞走了好一会了吧? like, a while ago, right?
真是谢谢你了 Thanks.
只要避孕药是吗? So just the morning-after pill?
我就是这么想的 That would have been my guess.
好的 My man. All right.
就是这个 Okeydokey.
关于这个药你们有几点要注意 So a couple things you need to know about this bad boy.
嗨 泰特 Hey, Tate.
你想看看我孩子们的照片吗? You want to see some pictures of my kids?
不 恶心 No. Gross.
我讨厌小孩 I hate kids.
等下你就知道他们有多可爱了 Wait till you see how cute they are.
孩子真是个恩赐啊 Children are such a gift.
哦 Oh.
我应该怎么找出来这些照片来着? How do I call up these pictures?
好吧 等我一下就好 All right, just give me a sec.
"浏览照片 "Viewing photos.
点击菜单 回到主页面" Go to the home screen by tapping Menu button."
对不起 我们真的要走了 I'm sorry. We really need to get going.
没关系 Of course.
格伦 你别捣乱了 Glenn, would you just cut it out?
让他们买那个该死的药吧 Let them buy the damn pill.
如果你们不介意的话 Would you mind very much
我能插一下队吗? if I just cut in front of you?
我很赶时间 I am in a huge rush.
- 真的赶时间! - 好吧 - Huge! - I guess.
谢谢 Thank you.
好了 All right.
嗨 我想买 Yeah, hi, I'd like to buy
所有的紧急避孕药 谢谢 all of your morning-after pills, please.
周末是个好日子 Big weekend.
一醉方休好泡妞 Gonna get all liquored up and promiscuous.
我很乐意打扫干净 但问题是 I'm happy to try to clean it up, but the problem is,
我一想到呕... if I even think about vom...
哦 Oh.
好吧好吧 Okay, okay.
好吧 我懂了 Okay. I got it.
我会打扫干净的 I'll clean it up.
哦 上帝啊 Oh, god.
再坚持三个小时 Three more hours.
就三个小时 三个小时 Three more hours. Three more hours.
哦 嗨 宝贝 怎么了? Oh, hey, babe, what's up?
嗨 别生气啊 Hey, please don't be mad,
弗兰克刚刚在最后时刻拿到了 but Frank just got last-minute tickets
这周末企业家会议的票 to the entrepreneurs conference this weekend,
EVERYONE
大家字幕组
我知道我说过我会带艾玛去野营 但是... and I know I said I would take Emma camping, but...
大家字幕组
嗯 应该没问题了 Yeah, that should do it.
对对对 就扔到那个小推车里就好 All right, just dump that in the cart there.
好了 这回能把她引出来了 Okay, that should draw her out.
你怎么知道这是只母的 How do you know it's a woman?
问得好 马特奥 I'm glad you asked, Mateo.
鸟类没有像我们熟悉的那种生殖器 Birds don't have genitalia as we're familiar with.
他们的内生殖器叫做阴沟 They have internal penises called cloacas.
好了 又开始了 Okay.
当它们充盈起来时 And when they become very engorged
听着 我就直说了 Look, I'm gonna give it to you straight.
情况很糟糕 This is bad.
你知道我会进更多的货 对吧 You know I'm just gonna order more of these, right?
而我会一直站在这儿 And I'll be standing right here,
拿着我的云九信用卡买下来 Cloud 9 credit union card in hand.
好吧 Okay.
嗯 一共是 Well, that comes to
1127.54美元 $1,127 and 54 cents.
啥? What?
那么多? That much?
没错 Yeah.
要知道 每片都40多块啊 Well, each pill is over 40 bucks.
我可以解释为什么这么贵 I'd explain why, but
但凭你脑子也不会懂这高端科学的 your brain couldn't handle the science.
不 不 我买不起 No, no, I can't afford that.
我要还车贷 房贷 I mean, well, with car payments
养活十三口人 and mortgage and groceries for 13,
我们的日子本来就很艰难的 we're barely getting by.
我要退了这些 I'm gonna have to return these.
唔 Mm.
不行 你不能退药的 No, you can't return pills.
- 啥? - 嗯 - What? - Yeah.
这样做是违法的 That's illegal.
因为你可能对药品做手脚了 You could have tampered with them.
但你知道我没有啊 But you know I didn't.
我一直在这儿 I was here the whole time.
是吗? Were you?
我知道我说过我会带艾玛去野营 I know I said I could take Emma on the trip.
是的 你明明答应了 Yes, you did.
- 打扰一下 - 请稍等 - Excuse me. - Just one second.
亚当 我真的很期待 这个周末好好歇歇的 Adam, I was really looking forward to this weekend.
我都准备好穿运动裤和拖鞋 不穿胸罩了 I was gonna wear sweatpants and slippers and no bra.
你能后退几步吗? Can you take a couple steps back?
我发誓 我会弥补你的 I promise, I will make it up to you,
但就饶了我这一次吧 but could you please just let this one go?
就这一次? Just this one time?
就一次 Just this one time.
好吧 Fine.
好吧 Okay.
我要挂了 Look, I gotta go.
我能帮您做什么 先生? How can I help you, sir?
我要投诉你们一个售货员 I have a complaint about one of your salesmen.
你明明跟我说我有权利 But you said I have the right
拒绝任何我想拒绝的人 to refuse service to anybody I want.
严格来说 你的确有这个权利 Yes, technically you have the right,
但你得有点判断力吧 but you need to use some common sense.
我要是有判断力的话 If I was using common sense,
我就会把这些枪全都扔到门外去 I would take all of these guns and throw them out the door.
你知道我什么意思 You know what I mean.
听着 我告诉过你 Look, I told you I wasn't comfortable
我不想站卖枪的柜台 working the gun counter.
是的 我也告诉过你 你必须站 Yeah, and I told you that you have to.
天晓得你什么时候 Ugh, god forbid you let something go
能不和别人计较一次 for once in your life.
为什么我要将就别人? Why do I have to let it go?
那你怎么就不能将就一下啊? Why don't you let it go, Jonah?
让世界上每一个男人都活得更轻松 It's not my job to make
又不是我的工作 every man in the world's life easier.
我不会把你换到其他柜台的 I'm not moving you.
反正我不会改变我的做法的 Well, I'm not changing what I'm doing
怎么大家今天都这么蛮不讲理 Why is everybody being such a jerk today?
- 那只鸟好像... - 没错 - I think the bird... - Yeah.
你不说我也知道 I know.
实在抱歉 I just feel so bad
我的道德感影响了你们的购物选择 about letting my moral priorities interfere with your buying choices,
尤其是 especially because for all I know,
你们很可能没有打算吃避孕药的 you might not even be planning on using the pill.
也许你们买来只是为了 You know, maybe you're gonna use them
当做玩偶小屋里的盘子 as plates in a doll's house
或者把药放进健怡可乐里 看看会不会冒泡 or drop 'em in a Diet Coke to see if they fizz up.
不会 我们昨晚没有采取任何保护措施 No, we had unprotected sex last night.
好吧 打住 别说了 Okay, buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh!
我不知道的事 What I don't know can't hurt me
没办法送我下地狱 or send me to hell.
开玩笑啦 Just kidding.
那么你们能现金付款吗 Um, so do you have cash?
很抱歉 I'm sorry.
我真的很担心 你的气愤程度会造成一定危险 I just have way too many concerns about your level of anger.
这简直就是歧视 This is discrimination.
我要打电话给国家枪支协会举报你们 I'm gonna call the NRA about this.
好吧 不过 Okay, well, you know,
你现在这么生气 不恰恰证明了 我的想法是对的吗 that you're getting so angry is only proving my point.
发生什么了 What is going on?
我跟你说 Here's what's going on.
这地方简直就是独裁 This entire place is a dictatorship,
完全由艾米皇帝一个人统治 and it's being ruled over by Emperor Amy.
天哪 你们俩能不能像个成年人一样 Oh, god, can you guys just act like adults
搞一发或者什么的 and have an affair or something?
哈? 别瞎说! What? No, shh!
听好 Listen.
如果艾米想让我管枪支柜台 If Amy wants me to run the gun counter,
那她就必须明白 then Amy needs to understand
由我来决定谁能买枪 that I get to decide who gets the guns.
我会慎重地做出判断 And I'm gonna make those decisions fairly
做到尽职尽责的 and with due diligence.
抱歉 我就是不相信红头发 I'm sorry. I just don't trust redheads.
太易燃易爆炸了 Too fiery.
祝贺您有着活跃的性生活 Congratulations on being sexually active.
你说什么? I'm sorry?
我知道我没办法 Okay, I know I probably can't talk you
劝你不买避孕工具 out of buying contraception, right?
那肯定不可能对吧 I mean, that's just not gonna happen.
我不需要帮助啊 I didn't ask for any assistance.
既然该发生的事一定会发生 So if it's gonna happen no matter what,
这药每盒五十刀 these are $50 each.
坦白说吧 我根本挣不到钱 Okay, now, I'm not looking to make a profit.
我就是这个价买的 That's the price I paid
只多要了一点点 当做给反堕胎联盟的捐赠 plus a small donation to the pro-life coalition.
知道吧? 而且 You know? And...
我们今天都要死在这了! We're all gonna die in here!
哇哦 哇哦 Whoa, whoa!
大家都冷静下来 Okay, everybody calm down.
这只是一个公开佩枪抗议 It's just an open carry protest.
持枪者们只是在行使第二修正案赋予他们的权利。 Gun owners are just exercising their second amendment rights.
这是完全合法的 It's all perfectly legal.
我们不能让这件枪支小事 Okay, but let's not let this little gun thing
掩盖了真正的问题 那些乌鸦 overshadow the real problem, which is the crows.
它们同样也很危险 They are equally as dangerous.
他们为什么要抗议啊? Why are they here?
显然是因为 乔纳拒绝 Well, apparently Jonah was denying service
向每一个想买抢的人提供服务 所以... to everybody who wanted to buy a gun, so...
真是个浑蛋 Oh, what a D bag.
我本来都不应该卖枪的 好吗 I shouldn't have been there in the first place, okay?
严格来说 这是艾米的错 Technically, this is Amy's fault.
什么? What?
艾米 你能把乔纳调走吗? Amy, can you just move Jonah?
不行 不能让他得逞 No, he doesn't get to win.
你为什么要这样啊? Ugh. Why are you being like this?
"这样" 什么是"这样"? "Like this." What is "Like this"?
我只是做好本职工作罢了 I'm doing my job.
我的天哪 你们怎么还不去打炮 Oh, my god, just bang already.
我一直这么说来着 That's what I been saying.
恶心 Gross.
- 简直了 - 好吧好吧 - Eww. - Okay, okay.
我们都太冲动了 We're all feeling emotional,
不过我们会一起熬过去的 but we're gonna get through this safely together.
然后就可以回到自己爱人的怀抱里了 And then we can go home to our loved ones.
另外 如果你们打算 Oh, and if you're planning on
今晚回家和他们爱爱 一定要来找我 having sex with them tonight, come see me.
好了 散会 All right, meeting dismissed.
哇哦 哇哦 哇哦 等等 Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hold up.
那这个紧急乌鸦事件怎么办 各位 What about this crow emergency, y'all?
等等啊 Hold up.
伙计们 我们得采取措施啊 Hey, guys, we gotta do something.
它们的大脑身体质量比和人类是一样的 They got the same brain-to-body ratio as humans.
大脑身体质量比是衡量动物智力水平的标准之一
一群乌鸦可是被叫作谋杀的啊! A group of 'em's called a murder!
一群乌鸦也可以用A murder of crows表达
朱迪! Judy!
顾客朋友 请注意 Attention, shoppers.
请注意 Attention.
我需要超市里的所有人 保持绝对的安静 I need everyone in the store to be completely silent
因为我接下来会发出一些声响 as I will be making some noises
模仿乌鸦天敌的叫声 that replicate the calls of the crows' natural enemies.
从而将它们赶出超市 This will drive them out of the store.
谢谢配合 Thank you.
这帐篷里 There's a crow
居然有只天杀的乌鸦! in the mother fuching tent!
你个天杀的乌鸦 ! ! you, crow! !
今天是个行使持枪权的好日子 Today is a great day for the second amendment.
没错! Yeah!
我很骄傲地看到 I'm proud to see so many of us came out here
很多人都来抗议 to protest the despicable actions
站在那里的短发女士 of that short-haired lady over there
侵犯我们的权利的卑鄙行为 who infringed on our rights today.
她不能夺走我们的枪 She can't take us away from our guns.
没错! Yeah!
好吧 好吧 Okay, all right, all right.
首先声明 我是男人 不过谢谢夸奖 First of all, I'm a man, but thank you.
其次 第一修正案赋予我的权利 又该怎么算呢? Second of all, what about my first amendment right, huh?
自由言论权 The right to an opinion.
我想说啥就说啥 I can say whatever I want to say.
好吧 那我也可以选择不听 Well, I don't gotta listen to it.
布拉拉拉 Blah-bitty blah, blah.
布拉布拉布拉 Blah, blah, blah.
你们都给我闭嘴！ Will everybody please just shut up!
你们现在就跟小孩子一样 You sound like children.
害臊么? Okay?
听着 Look.
- 我们不能... - 我们听不清你讲话 - We can't all... - We can't hear you.
- 我们不能... - 去上面讲 - We can't all... - Get up high.
听着 Look.
我们不能 We can't all just do whatever we want
为所欲为 whenever we want to.
你不想卖枪 但那是你的工作 You don't want to sell guns, it's your job.
成熟点吧 Be a grown-up.
至于你! And you!
有人惹你生气了 Someone pisses you off
有必要因此扛把枪出来晃吗? so you have to flash a rifle to prove a point?
行了吧 你们两个 Come on, man.
有个大人样子吧! Just be a grown-up.
听着 Look.
我本来计划好了 整个周末啃着披萨 I wanted to spend the weekend eating pizza
欣赏弗雷迪·普林兹 and watching Freddie Prinze Jr.
他不是死了么? Isn't he dead?
什么? What?
不是吧 I don't think so.
我...有七成把握...他没死 No, I'm, like, 70% sure he's alive.
好吧 偏题了 Okay, that's beside the point.
我想说的是 我的周末泡汤了 The point is that I don't get to do that
因为我丈夫搞到了什么会议的票 because my husband got tickets to a conference.
但是我是个成年人 But I'm an adult.
所以我不发脾气 So you don't see me throwing a fit about it.
你现在不就在发脾气么? Isn't that kind of what you're doing now?
好啦 趁着我们现在在谈一些事情 Okay, while we're talking about stuff,
我也来谈谈性欲观和道德观 sexuality and morality
两种观... two alaties with...
当心! Watch it!
别开火! Hold your fire!
谁都不许伤害那只鸟! Nobody hurt the bird!
还挺可爱的嘛 You all right.
我很抱歉你的周末泡汤了 I'm sorry your weekend got ruined.
没关系 It's fine.
这种事常有 These things happen.
告诉你一声 我正准备 You know, I'm gonna just go ahead
继续去卖枪了 and work the gun counter.
你说得对 我...刚刚确实很蛮不讲理 You were right. I was...I was being a jerk.
真的么? Really?
哇 Wow.
谢谢你 乔纳 Thank you, Jonah.
不客气 No problem.
等一下 Wait a second.
你是真的觉得我说的对 Are you agreeing with me because I'm right
还是因为可怜我 才觉得我说得对? or because you feel sorry for me?
因为你说得对 Because you're right.
我怎么会可怜你呢 Why would I feel sorry
你毕竟是个强大凶猛的女人 for such a strong, fierce woman, you know?
不错哟 姐们 Get it, girl.
你是在可怜我 You feel sorry for me.
我...没...我没有 I--no. I don't.
哦 不不不 我不需要任何人的怜悯 Oh, no, no, no. I don't need anybody's pity.
你不用去卖枪了 Don't work the gun counter.
不 我可以的 我这就去柜台 No, it's fine. I'm working the gun counter.
我刚刚说了你不用去 I just said you're not work the gun counter.
我非要去 But I'm putting me on guns.
- 我这就去 - 不 我要阻止你 - Here I go. - No, I'm stopping you.
额 你阻止不了我了 Well, you can't stop me, so...
哦不 我阻止得了 Yes, I can stop you.
我刚刚可是给你下了个命令 我可是你的主管 I just gave you an order, and I'm your supervisor.
你不是...我拒绝接受命令 You're not... I refuse your order.
- 哦 我是你主管 - 你做... - Yes, I am your supervisor. - What are you...
他把海虾叫作河虾 He calls shrimps "Prawns."
礼拜天走着去赶集 Spent his Sunday walking to a farmers' market.
他差不多去过了所有文艺复兴节的摊子 He's been to, like, all the renaissance fairs.
碰上胃的犒劳日 Referred to the day he ate a hamburger
他就会吃上个汉堡 as a cheat day.
逮到你了! Gotcha!
放弃挣扎吧! Stop it.
- 好了 哇呜 - 好啦 好啦 - Okay. Whew! - Okay, okay.
你处理一下吧 Take care of this, will you?
- 你确定要我 处理一下? - 对啊 - Want me to take care of it? - Yeah.
好的吧 All right.
看见没 我早和你说过 See, I told you we could get the bird
我们能把这鸟安全地弄出超市 out of the store safely.
我得承认 我之前想法是错误的 Well, I gotta say, I was wrong.
没有理由去伤害这种小可爱 No reason to hurt that little thing.
他们是聪明的小生物 他们值得被善待 They're smart animals. They deserve kindness.
你还人道地对待它 And you treated it humanely.
我真的敬佩你 And I gotta respect that.
我只是设身处地地想了想 Well, I just treat them how I would want to be treated.
我也不想被伤害 You know?
好啦 现在让我们放飞这小可爱吧 All right, let's go release this little sweetheart.
但是...迪娜 我要先告诉你... But...Dina, I have something to tell you!
嗨 女士 Hello, ma'am.
降价啦
你看起来很性感 我能... You look sexual, could I...
先生 你嘿咻时有做好保护措施么? Sir, do you have unprotected sex?
哦我的天呐 Oh, my god.
哦我的天啊 Oh, my god.
一袋子血 a bag of blood
他...袋子里都是血! He...It is a bag of blood
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