啊哈 德國造的G-36步槍 Ah, the Heckler & Koch G-36.
在行家手里可都是要命的家伙 Quite deadly in the right hands.
啊 一號特工 Ah, Agent One.
這一刻我等得太久了 I have been so looking forward to this moment.
我不會讓你失望的 Well, in that case, I'll try not to disappoint.
你高估了對女人的吸引力 You overestimate your power over women, Mr English.
實際上我并沒有 I'd say that would be virtually impossible.
長官? Sir?
長官! Sir!
找到了嗎? Have you got them?
-嗯? -任務指令啊 特工一號今晚就動身了 Hmm? The mission documents. Agent One's flying tonight.
任務指令在哪兒呢? 應該就在這 Yes, the mission documents. They're here somewhere.
找到了 Here we are.
特工一號 Agent One.
先生們 Gentlemen.
我來拿指令 I'm here for my documents.
波夫 把特工一號的指令拿來 Bough, Agent One's documents, please.
謝謝 Thank you.
特工一號 你的任務指令 Your mission documents, Agent One.
包括潛艇艙門密碼 我全都親自核對了 Including the codes for the submarine hatch, which I've checked myself.
謝謝 Thank you.
這次只到法國嗎? So, is it just France tonight,
會不會悄悄穿過比利牛斯山? or will you be slipping over the Pyrenees as well?
如果告訴你 就不得不殺了你 If I told you that, I'm afraid I'd have to kill you.
對對 就是 我想你會的 Oh, yes, yes. Well, I expect you would.
再見 特工一號 Cheerio, Agent One.
再見 Bonne chance.
再會 Arrivederci.
瞧他那派頭 卓爾不群 Such class. Such distinction.
致軍情七處（英國情報機構）各部門 緊急通知
特工一號在法國比亞里茨行動中身亡
潛艇艙門沒能打開
英國史上最偉大的特工窒息而死 The greatest secret agent England's ever had snuffed out in an instant.
太慘了 Terrible.
勃夫 你知道是什么讓全世界都羨慕我們嗎 Do you know what makes us envied the world over, Bough?
是倒下一個特工 千萬個特工站起來 That there's always another agent waiting to step into the beach.
沒錯 長官 Absolutely, sir.
現在特工們全在墓地悼念 And every last one of them is gathered around that grave.
給他們當警衛 真是我們的榮幸 It is our honour and privilege to guard them while they grieve.
他們的命全握在我們手里 Their lives are in our hands, Bough.
英格利西 一切都正常吧 Everything in order, English?
長官 豈止是正常 I think you'll find it's rather more than just in order, sir.
你現在正進入全英最安全的地界 You're now entering the most secure location in the whole of England.
帕格索斯 現在是國家危機 Pegasus, we face a national crisis.
特工一號肯定查到了什么 我們得找出來 Agent One was clearly onto something, and we have to find out what.
我要派另一名特工去調查 你說誰好呢 I need another agent on this immediately. Who else is there?
沒人了 首相先生 No one, Prime Minister.
特工們全被炸死了 They all died in the explosion.
全死了? All of them?
不完全是 還有一個僥幸沒死 Well, luckily there is one who survived.
誰? Who?
艾金森·羅溫
憨豆特工
娜塔莉
米勒·本
馬爾科維奇·約翰
飾演
沙維奇·帕斯卡
史密斯·蒂姆·皮戈特
麥克納利·凱文
戴維斯·奧立佛·福特
邁克弗朗·道格拉斯
就是這兒 Right.
我是強尼·英格利西 找帕格索斯 Johnny English. I'm here to see Pegasus.
沒什么要緊的事 Still, no sense rushing things.
在你們見面之前 請先簽收一些物品 There are some items you need to sign before your briefing.
這是你的新視網膜身份證 This is your new retinal I.D. card,
這是你的九級特工登記表 and this is your level nine security clearance.
請簽名并標注日期 Sign and date, please.
這讓我想到了以前用過的筆 Oh, reminds me of the old service issue ballpoint.
記得那里 每個特工都有一支這樣的筆 I remember every agent would carry a pen that looked just like this.
普通人會覺得毫不起眼 但只要按兩下 Completely innocent to the untrained eye, but click it twice.
英格利西 你來了 Ah, English, there you are.
見到我的秘書了嗎? Have you seen my secretary?
她剛出去了 She went out.
我們進去談 Um... shall we?
特工一號查到有一個盜取王冠的計劃 Now, Agent One believed that there was a plot to steal the Crown Jewels.
王冠剛花費數百萬英鎊進行了修復 They've recently been through a multi-million pound restoration,
大部分的修復費用都由一家公司贊助的 Iargely paid for by a corporate sponsor.
他們今晚將在倫敦塔舉行王冠揭幕儀式 They're due to be unveiled tonight at the Tower of London.
女王堅持揭幕儀式如期舉行 所以我們希望你去 Unfortunately the queen is insisting that the ceremony goes ahead, so what we want you to
哈 誰 誰? Hah! Who? Who?
贊助人是誰 長官 Who is the sponsor, sir?
沙維奇·帕斯卡 Pascal Sauvage.
就是那個擁有幾座監獄的法國人 What, that flouncy Frenchman who owns a couple of prisons?
沙維奇身價70億英鎊 英格利西, Sauvage's ￡7 billion empire, English,
他們管理著全球60個國家的400多座監獄 operates over 400 prisons in 60 countries.
-我們國家也有25座 -對 長官 - He's built 25 of them here. - Right, sir.
他跟王室是親戚 The man's related to the royal family, for goodness'sake.
首相認為他是英國最好的朋友之一 As far as the prime minister's concerned, he's one ofthe greatest friends England's got.
英格利西 Now, English,
你今晚去倫敦塔監視揭幕儀式 I want you at the Tower tonight, monitoring this unveiling.
檢查保安隱患 Any chink in security, any weakness,
一點差池也不能有 however slight, must be plugged immediately.
聽清楚了嗎? Do we understand each other?
-清楚了 長官 -很好 - Perfectly, sir. - Good.
-很清楚 -還有 英格利西 - Oh, yes. - And, uh, English.
不能出任何岔子 we can't afford any mistakes,
尤其是今晚 not tonight.
長官 我的字典里從沒有"岔子"這個詞, The word "mistake" sir, is not one that appears in my dictionary.
倫敦塔
好棒的車 長官 Fantastic car, sir!
英格利西先生 Mr English,
我是安東尼爵士上校 皇家安全組組長 Colonel Sir Anthony Chevenix, head of Royal Security.
晚上好 上校 Ah, Colonel, good evening.
-屋頂上安排狙擊手了嗎 -安排了13個 - Snipers posted on the roof as per my request? - Thirteen of them.
-窗戶呢 -都換上了雙層防彈玻璃 - Windows? - Refitted with bullet and shatter proof glass as orded.
我現在就混入來賓中 I shall now mingle inconspicuously with the guests.
-女王陛下到達時通知我 -好的 - Let me know when Her Majesty arrives. - Very good.
長官 我也要跟你一起混入來賓中嗎 Shall I mingle with you, sir?
對 勃夫 不過你得先檢查下屋頂 Oh, yes, Bough. Once you've checked the roof.
救命 Help! Help!
你好 Well, hello.
你好 你是... Hello yourself.
強尼·英格利西. Johnny English.
羅拉·坎貝爾 Lorna Campbell.
請來一杯血腥馬莉 不要太辣 A Bloody Mary, please, not too spicy.
您到此有何貴干 So, are you here in some professional capacity?
我是修王冠的 I worked on the restoration of the jewels.
-真有趣 -你呢? - Intriguing. - And yourself?
如果我說了 我就得殺了你 If I told you that, I'm afraid I'd have to kill you.
我倒愿意一試 I'd like to see you try.
沙維奇先生 我謹代表女王陛下 Monsieur Sauvage, on behalf of Her Majesty,
歡迎蒞臨倫敦塔 may I welcome you to the Tower.
謝謝 Merci, monsieur.
你是一個人嗎 英格利西先生? So, are you here alone, Mr English?
坎貝爾小姐 我喜歡獨來獨往 That's how I choose to live my life, Miss Campbell.
女人都喜歡安全 Women want safety, security.
我只會給她們帶來危險 I can offer them nothing but danger.
有些女人很喜歡冒險的感覺 Some women find danger very attractive.
像你這樣的女人 Women like you, Miss Campbell?
我這樣的女人 希望男人都像你這樣... Women like me expect men like you...
去親自揭密 to find that out for yourself.
女士 Madame.
這是我點的 Oh, it's for me, actually.
能請你幫我拿點奶酪玉米來嗎? Could your rustle up some of those cheesy niblets?
我們談到哪兒了? Now, where were we?
你肯定沒見過今晚的主人 沙維奇先生 You obviously haven't met our host, Monsieur Sauvage.
沒有 謝天謝地 No, thank God.
我寧愿坐在一大片仙人掌上 You know, I think I'd rather have my bottom impaled on a giant cactus...
也不會搭理那些法國暴發戶 than exchange pleasantries with that jumped-up Frenchman.
在我看來 法國人都是入侵者 As far as I'm concerned, the only thing the French should host is an invasion.
你有事嗎? Sorry, can I help?
我是帕斯卡·沙維奇 法國暴發戶 Pascal Sauvage, jumped-up Frenchman.
我是羅拉-坎貝爾 一直渴望見到你 Lorna Campbell. I've been so looking forward to meeting you.
我也是 Enchante.
你是強尼·英格利西 我聽說過你 But of course! You're Johnny English. I've heard all about you.
告訴你一個小秘密 我不大喜歡法國人 And between you and me, I'm not so keen on the French myself.
請別告訴別人 But please don't tell them that.
-我去給你拿奶酪玉米 -不用... 我 - Let me go and search foryour nibbly cheese bits. - No, no, no.
我堅持這么做 法國人是 不錯的服務生 I, I insist. The French are, after all, fantastic waiters.
-天底下最好的侍應 -是的 但是... - The best in the world. - Well, But, but...
-就在這兒等著 我來招呼你 -真的不用... Wait here, and I will wait on you. - No, really. There's no...
請不要 No. Please, please, please!
女士們 先生們 Ladies and gentlemen, mesdames est messieurs,
歡迎光臨今晚的盛會 bienvenus, welcome tonight to this wonderful occasion.
我們身處的倫敦塔 As we stand here in the Tower of London,
是世上獨一無二的銅墻鐵壁 the most famous prison in the world,
美麗的王冠在重重保護下... where these wonderful jewels will rest safely...
將安全無比 under lock and key.
在此感謝諸位... I want to thank you...
給了我這次機會 for giving me this wonderful experience...
為修復王冠出一份力 to contribute to the restoration of these jewels.
這樣的經歷 用法語來說就是 頂級的 一流的 It was, as we say in France, le top, le best of.
這美麗的王冠... And what a beautiful...
長官 是安東尼上校 It's Colonel Chevenix!
他被暗算了 是誰干的? He's got a nasty wound, sir. Who hit him?
有刺客 他跑進去了 The assailant. He ran in here.
勃夫 你守著門口 Bough, you guard the door.
勃夫 別進來 他是個瘋子 For God's sake, Bough, don't come in. The man's a maniac!
你嚇不了我 You don't frighten me!
沒打中 Missed!
我已經制服刺客了 I've managed to subdue the assailant.
不用慌張 我已控制了局勢 The panic's over. Everything's under control.
謝謝 女士們 先生們 Thank you. And now, ladies and gentlemen,
現在 我們恭迎女王陛下駕臨... we should compose ourselves for the arrival of Her Majesty...
并把已經修復的美麗的王冠... and return to the site of our great nation's...
交還給她 magnificently restored Crown Jewels.
我知道 我也感覺的到 I know. I feel it too.
我們這個島國的象征 The very symbols of our island nation,
現在觸手可及... 及... so close we could almost reach out and tou... tou...
肅靜 恭迎女王陛下 Pray silence for Her Majesty the Queen.
咦 王冠在哪? Oh, where are the jewels?
這是個大災難 英格利西 It's an unmitigated disaster, English.
長官 你說得太對了 I couldn't agree more, sir.
英格利西 我們要把王冠找回來 要快 Well, we need to get these jewels back, English, and fast.
跟我說說那個刺客 Tell me about this assailant.
因為隨后他們搜查房間時 刺客逃走了 Because when they searched the room later, there was no sign of him.
很明顯 他是專職殺手 Well, the man was clearly a professional.
他一定是趁女王駕臨時逃跑了 He must have escaped while the queen was being sedated.
但他是唯一的線索 我們得抓到他 But he's the only lead we've got. We have to find him.
請進 Come in.
這位是數據支援部的羅杰 This is... this is Roger from Data Support.
請坐 Please sit down.
他會根據你的描述拼出刺客的樣子 He'll produce a likeness based on your description.
說說看 那人長什么樣 So tell us, what did this man look like?
嗯 Um... well...
他是個 大塊頭 he was... big.
頭發顏色呢? Hair colour?
橙色 Orange.
-橙色? -還是卷的 - Orange? - Mmm. And curly.
卷的 比較軟 Well, frizzy, actually. Frizzy sort of thing.
-卷的 -戴個眼罩 - Frizzy. - An eyepatch.
爛鼻子 只剩幾顆牙 Broken nose. Very few teeth.
只剩兩顆 最多兩顆 Two, I would say, at the most.
臉上有傷疤... And a scar on his cheek...
是... 香蕉型的 in the shape... of a banana.
-哪邊臉 -兩邊 - Which cheek? - Both cheeks.
在臉中間相交 They sort of met in the middle.
你肯定嗎 英格利西? Are you sure about this, English?
對 就是他 拼得太像了 Oh, yes, that's him. An uncanny resemblance.
拼得跟真人一樣 Why, it's just as if he's in the room with us.
長官 看這個 真是應有盡有 Look at this, sir. Got all the bells and whistles, isn't it?
別只顧看新鮮 想想案子 Never mind about the gad gets. Just focus on the case.
早上好 先生們 久等了 Good morning, gentlemen. Thank you very much for waiting.
我們現在面對的問題很簡單 Now, the question that faces us this morning is a simple one.
盜賊是如何突破嚴密的防線 Namely, how did the thieves gain access to this highly secure environment...
并在得手后逃脫的呢 and then escape with thejewels afterwards?
問題很簡單 但答案會很復雜 A simple question, but one which I believe has a complex answer.
-長官 實際上... -勃夫 我正想問題呢 - Actually, sir... - Please, Bough. My mind is at work.
你們必須明白 Now, what you must grasp, gentlemen, is that the master criminal...
主犯并非只有一次機會 而是許多次 sees not a room but a series of opportunities.
我會從窗戶進來嗎? Should I go in through the window?
很可能 Possibly.
或者從天花板下來? Should I drop down from the ceiling?
長官 事實上... Actually, sir...
有一點 我是確定一定以及肯定的 There's one thing I think we can be fairly confident about,
他們不會是從地下鉆出來的... that is that they didn't come up through the floor...
我抓住你了 長官 I've got you, sir.
沒事 到我這邊來 That's all right. Just come my way, Bough.
-長官 那樣我得跨過洞口的 -別慌 - That'll bring me right over the hole, sir. - There's no need to panic.
勃夫 到底了嗎 Can you see the bottom yet, Bough?
還沒 長官 洞變窄了 Notyet, sir. The shaft appears to be narrowing.
我擔心會被卡住 I'm just a little bit worried I might get stuck.
相信我 只要不停下 就不會卡住的 Trust me, Bough. You won't get stuck if you just keep moving.
明白 長官 Yes, sir.
我沒事 長官 I'm okay, sir.
勃夫 你現在到底了嗎? Are you at the bottom now, Bough?
沒有 長官 我被卡住了 No, I am in fact stuck now, sir.
勃夫 別動 我這就來 Oh, for God's sake, Bough. Stay there! I'm coming down.
長官 這樣做可不太好 Uh, I'm not especially sure that's a good idea, sir.
別擔心 Don't worry.
小心 長官 Be careful, sir!
慢一點 Gently does it.
長官 Sir?
長官 你沒事吧? Are you all right, sir?
沒事 我掉到一堆軟東西上了 Yes. I landed on something quite soft.
-那是我 長官. -很好 - That was me, sir. - Oh, good.
現在是怎樣? What now?
可以肯定的是 我們不能原路返回上面 There's no way back up there, that's for sure.
這里一定通往什么地方 But this must lead somewhere.
我有點怕黑 長官 I'm slightly uncomfortable in the dark, sir.
勃夫 不用害怕 There's nothing to worry about, Bough.
就算很黑我們也能看得見 It may be pitch black, but we can still see.
可以看到嗎? 怎么看? Can we, sir? How?
貝多因僧人 The Bedouin monks of the Al Maghreb mountains...
發明了一套聲納系統 developed a system of sonic chanting.
-長官 我明白了 -他們的歌聲... - I see, sir. - The sound of their chanting...
一遇到障礙物就會反彈回來 would bounce back off any obstacles,
然后靠他們靈敏的耳朵... and using their highly tuned ears...
他們就能在腦袋里繪制出前方的路線 they could paint a mental picture of the path ahead.
-真聰明 長官 -不過 一定要降E大調來唱 - Brilliant, sir. - However, you must always sing in E-flat.
降E,降E E-flat, E-flat, E-flat
感謝這首我現編的歌 Thank you for the music The songs I'm singing.
-長官 這能管用嗎 -非常管用 謝謝 - Is it working, sir? - Extremely well, thankyou, Bough.
快樂來自于... Thanks for all the joy that...
長官 你沒事吧? You all right, sir?
我覺得自己看到什么了 I think I can see something, sir.
是的 這邊 Oh,yeah. Come on.
這件 長一點的 Here is the long one.
長的 It is a long one.
小心 Careful.
-我知道 -長官 我們要請求增援嗎? - I knew it. - Shall we call for backup, sir?
什么? 讓那些大屁股警察來幫我們抓人 What? And watch some fat-bottomed bobby make our arrest for us?
想都別想 I don't think so.
早上好 先生們 軍情7處為你服務 Good morning, gentlemen. MI7 at your service.
顯然 這些罪犯都太笨了 Observe, Bough, the dull incompetence ofthe criminal mind.
他們哪能比得上我們呢 It can never hope to match our level of technical expertise.
-抓好了 -長官 我們該怎么辦 - You've got it. - What do we do now, sir?
學著點兒 Watch and learn, Bough.
他們甩掉我們了 They're too far ahead of us.
別泄氣 勃夫 他們往南跑了 Have faith, Bough. They're heading south.
-長官 在那邊 -不出我所料 - There they are, sir! - Just as I thought.
勃夫 抓穩 Hang on tight, Bough.
像這樣子永遠也追不到 We're never gonna catch them in this.
勃夫 把好方向盤 Take the wheel, Bough.
-我要回自己的車上去 -長官 - I'm getting in the Aston. - Sir?
勃夫 換個位置 我要從另一邊出去 Change places, Bough. I'm getting out the other side.
長官 Sir?
好了 勃夫 起吊 Set, Bough. Take me up.
勃夫 擺出去 Swing me out, Bough!
放下 Down.
升 升起來 Up! Up!
對不起 Sorry!
勃夫 擺出去 Bough, pull out!
那兩個傻瓜在后面 開快點 Those idiots are right behind us. Faster!
勃夫 放我下來 Drop me here, Bough!
不! 不對! 別走! No! No! No!
別 別 別 不要這樣 Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
他們拐進布蘭普頓公墓了 They're turning into the Brompton Cemetery.
我跟進去 你盡快趕來 Get here as soon as you can. I'm going in.
杰夫里在輪椅上克服了重重困難... In a wheelchair. But Geoffrey overcame these terrible disabilities...
如陽光一般樂觀... with that simple resilience and sunny optimism...
溫暖了身邊的人 that so warmed all of us who knew him,
他把剩下的日子都用來照顧著... spending the rest of his life in the service...
本教區的窮苦人 of the poor and disabled of this parish.
講得真好 It's very good. Really very good.
很抱歉打斷了你 請繼續 No, no, please go on. I'm sorry to interrupt.
-真有趣 -他是誰? - It's very entertaining. - Who's that?
你們表演的這場牧師節目 會讓觀眾們樂上一會兒的 That priest act ofyours should keep the other prisoners entertained for hours.
對不起 我是英國特工 強尼·英格利西 Oh, I'm so sorry. Where are my manners? Johnny English,
英國特勤局 你們都被捕了 British Secret Service, and you are all under arrest.
我得承認 你們策劃得很不賴 I must say you've done this whole thing very well.
每個細節都注意到了 The attention to detail is excellent.
你 悲傷的老太太 演得不錯 You, the grieving granny, you're very convincing.
噢 是真的淚水 會不會能多得點兒錢 Oh, look. Real tears. Do you get paid extra for that?
我們在這兒干什么 Ahh, what we're all here for.
我知道 干嘛不打開看看 I know! Why don't we take a look inside?
噢 都釘死了 Oh, you've nailed it down!
為什么要這樣做 Why would you do that?
我知道 你們過兩個星期就會把它挖出來 I know you're gonna come back in two weeks and dig it up again.
你在這出戲里扮演誰? Now, what are you playing in this little vignette of deceit and villainy?
靈車司機 I'm the hearse driver.
-你是靈車司機? -是的 長官 - You're the hearse driver? - Yes, sir.
原來你在這兒呀... 根特 There you are... Gunther.
希望他沒有冒范你們 Uh, I do hope he hasn't made a nuisance of himself.
我是精神病醫院的醫生 I'm Doctor, um...
我叫勃夫 Bough, of the Lunatic Response Unit.
根據他的病情 他得在2028年后才能出院 I'm afraid Gunther here wasn't supposed to be released until 2028.
對吧 根特 Isn't that right, Gunther?
在這墓碑下 Yes,yes, there's been the most monumental cock-up.
請接受我深深的歉意 If you'll excuse me, with the deepest respect,
和無比的同情 utmost sympathy.
他沒有冒犯那位吧? He hasn't urinated on anyone, has he?
-沒有 -沒有 No. No, no.
那太好了 That's a blessing.
根特 把搶給我好嗎 Are you gonna give me the gun, Gunther?
看 一點兒也不難 對嗎? There. That wasn't too difficult, was it?
我們回家去 好嗎? Are you going to come home now?
啊... 上車 對 我們這就上車 Oh... in the van! Yes, we are going in the van.
對 Yes, yes.
噢 他在揮手告別 再見了 Yes. He's waving good-bye. Good-bye, everyone.
-再見 -再見 根特 Good-bye. Good-bye, Gunther.
這邊走 小心別踩到死者 Mind the nice dead people. There we go.
我們去那條小路 當心臺階 Oh, we'll just go to the path here. There. Big step.
這是墓地 是埋死人的地方 It's a graveyard. It's where they bring people...
行了 你可以打住了 Yes, all right. You can stop now.
-別讓人起疑 我來扶著你 -走快點 - For appearances, I'll just hold your arm. - Just keep walking.
不 跑 跑 趕緊跑! In fact, run, run, run!
真不敢相信我做了這件事 I can't believe I've done this.
真不敢相信我做了這件事! I mean, I really can not believe I've done this!
你們知道嗎 200年前 You see, 200 years ago,
我的家族應該繼承英格蘭的王位 my family should have inherited the throne of England,
但他們被廢黜了 but they were cast aside.
不過 幾天后 Well, in a few very short days,
它將回到原本屬于它的地方 it will be back where it belongs.
和我一起 With me.
我應該試試嗎? Shall I try it on?
好看 不好看 不知道 Yes? No? Maybe?
只有坎特伯雷大主教 才有權授予王位 To make you king, we need the archbishop of Canterbury to do that.
在此刻 我們談話時... The archbishop of Canterbury...
大主教正在被我們處理中 is being taken care of even as we speak.
獲取目標
鎖定目標
肢體特征掃描完成
老大 還有一件事 There's only one thing, sir.
怎樣處置英格利西? What are we going to do about English?
換成我 大可不用擔心他 If I were you, I wouldn't worry too much about English.
他毫無威脅 不堪一擊 He is no threat to us. I had his flat bugged.
顯然 他該取名為笨蛋 Clearly, the aptly named English is a fool.
但他是個甩不掉的笨蛋 He might be a fool, but he's a fool who keeps showing up.
那么下次他再出現時... Well, the next time he shows up,
干掉他 eliminate him.
謝謝 Thank you.
長官 這是迪亞特-克萊英和克勞斯-萬德 Dieter Klein and Klaus Vendetta, sir.
半年前出獄 共受到327項指控 Released from prison six months ago. 327 convictions between them.
持械行劫 蓄意滋事... Armed robbery, grievous bodily harm...
還有400多次違章停車... and combined parking fines of more than 400...
好 謝謝 勃夫 大家都記住照片了吧 Uh, yes, all right. Thankyou, Bough. I think we get the picture.
長官 重要的是 他倆... The point is, sir, that Vendetta and Klein...
都是沙維奇的手下 are both in the employ of Monsieur Sauvage.
-帕斯卡·沙維奇? -正是 長官 - Pascal Sauvage? - Precisely, sir.
你不是說 案子跟沙維奇有關吧 But you're not suggesting Sauvage is involved?
長官 不僅是有關 I think he's more than just involved, sir.
我相信他是主謀 I'm convinced he's up to his French neck in it.
太可笑了 沙維奇有數千名雇員 Don't be absurd. Sauvage employs thousands of people.
其中有兩個壞蛋并不能證明他就是壞人 Just because two of them are villains doesn't mean that he is.
馬上停止對他的調查 I want him discounted from this investigation immediately.
是 長官 Yes, sir.
今晚我要去參加沙維奇歡迎法國新大使的招待會 All right. Tonight I shall be at Sauvage's reception forthe new French ambassador.
有事就到那找我 Any developments, you can reach me there.
沒事的話 離他遠點 Apart from that, I don't want you within a hundred miles of the man.
是 長官 Absolutely, sir.
請軍情七處立刻提供 Requisition order. MI7 quarter masters for immediate supply,
一架加滿油的軍用運輸機 one military transport plane, fully fueled,
并準許在市區上空夜航 with permission for nighttime city over flight;
兩個偽裝降落傘 另加兩個備用 two night camouflage parachutes, plus reserves,
兩件黑色皮緊身衣 plus neoprene bodysuits, twice, in black.
我不喜歡海軍藍 I've never liked the navy blue.
我的胸圍要40英寸 因為我需要長袖子 And a 40-inch chest for me 'cause I need the sleeve length.
-早上好 菲爾齊 -早上好 - Morning, Felch. - Morning.
還要兩個特效圖章指環 Oh, and two Special Forces signet rings,
要漂亮點的 primed and colour-coded.
-這些的用途是? -為了今晚的行動 - What's all this for? - For tonight's operation.
我們要潛進沙維奇的老窩 We're going to break into Sauvage's headquarters.
-但帕格索斯說... -你不用操心帕格索斯 - But Pegasus said... - Let me worry about Pegasus.
我知道沙維奇是幕后主謀 I know that Sauvage is behind all this,
今晚我們就去取證 and tonight we're going to get the evidence.
怎么了? 長官 Is something wrong, sir?
剛才的聲音是菲爾齊嗎? Did that sound like Felch to you?
勃夫 Bough.
你 上樓 You, upstairs.
勃夫 看到他了嗎? Can you see him, Bough?
他在上一層 長官 He's on the upper level, sir.
我看到了 Got him.
象條蓄勢待發的毒蛇... And like a coiled viper...
出擊 he strikes.
長官 你說他們有兩個人 So what you're saying, sir, is there must have been two of them?
唔 至少兩個 可能是四個 Oh, at least, Bough. Possibly four.
我怎么沒看到人 I wonder why I didn't see them.
你要承認自己的錯誤 You mustn't dwell on your mistakes.
-要從中吸取教訓 -是 長官 - You must learn from them, then move on. - Yes, sir.
-長官 你剛才在哪里 -勃夫 別再說這事兒了 - So where were you, sir? -Just drop it, Bough!
-長官 怎么了? -那輛摩托車 - Aah! What is it, sir? - That bike.
你去準備今晚的裝備 You get things sorted out for tonight.
嗨 我們又見面了 Well, well, we meet again.
英格利西先生 想不到在這里見到你 Mr English. What a pleasant surprise.
為什么你總是神出鬼沒 I wondered when you might show up again.
恰恰相反 羅拉小姐 On the contrary, Miss Campbell.
神出鬼沒的人不是我 而是你 It is not I who keeps showing up. It's you.
你喜歡壽司嗎? Do you like sushi?
什么? Hmm?
噢 壽司 我還是不碰為好 Oh, sushi! I practically live off the stuff.
我對東方的事情非常了解 You might say the mysteries of the Orient are no mystery to me.
-要清酒嗎? -啊 清酒 - Sake? - Ah. Sake.
干杯
祝你的女兒都有三個屁股
或許 你現在能解釋一下... Now then, perhaps you can explain how it is...
為什么兩次犯罪你都在現場... that I run into you at two crime scenes...
而我在政府的電腦上 卻查不到你的資料 and then can't find any record of you on a single government computer.
那你為什么不去問政府 Shouldn't you ask the government that?
我就是政府 現在我問你 I am the government and I'm asking you.
我幫你 Let me.
你真勇敢 You're brave.
人們說海膽是最難吃的了 They say that sea urchin's the ultimate acquired taste.
這是我的最愛 It's a personal favourite of mine.
人們受不了它 是因為它進食和排泄共用一個口 I think people are put off by how it feeds through its bottom.
我得離開會兒 Would you excuse me for a moment?
不好意思 我是軍情七處特工 Excuse me. Sorry. I'm from MI7. Sorry. I'm a secret agent.
-勃夫 全準備好了嗎 -長官 準備好了 - Everything set, Bough? - Just about, sir.
長官 你不介意我把計劃再復述一遍吧 Actually, sir, do you mind if I run through the plan one more time?
不介意 No, no.
那里有兩座大廈 These are the two buildings here.
我們的目標是沙維奇的總部 This one is our target, Sauvage's headquarters,
就在市立醫院旁 right next to the City Hospital.
我先跳 降落在屋頂南方 Ijump first and land on the south side of the roof,
然后降到14樓 劃開玻璃窗 abseil down 14 floors and cut through this window here.
然后我降落到東邊 滑到12樓 I then land on the east side and abseil down 12 floors.
我去切斷安全警報 你在那兒等我的信號 Where you wait for my signal that I've disabled the alarm system.
-對 -你就從這里的窗戶進去 - Yes. - You them break into this window here,
穿過保安走廊 潛入沙維奇的辦公室 workyour way along the secure corridor and penetrate Sauvage's office.
-對 -沒問題吧? 長官 - Yes, yes. - Is that okay, sir?
沒問題 這是我想出的計劃 It's been okay ever since I thought up the idea, Bough.
差點忘了 長官 給你激光導航器 Oh, I nearly forgot, sir. Your laser beacon.
-我的什么? -激光導航器 - My what? - Your laser beacon!
引導你去沙維奇的總部 It'll guide you onto Sauvage's building.
勃夫 你太依賴儀器了 真可笑 Your dependence on hardware really does amuse me, Bough.
有一次我降落到卡拉哈里沙漠時 I've been dropped into the Kalahari Desert...
身上只有一支牙刷和一包凍檸檬露 carrying nothing more than a toothbrush and a packet of sherbet lemons,
但我還是在齋月前到達了布拉瓦約 and I still found my way to Bulawayo before Ramadan.
勃夫 謝謝 但我不用 So thank you, Bough, but no thank you.
勃夫 出發 Bough, go!
我來咯! Geronimo!
我是不是太蠢啦 Fandango!
是這里了 Right.
長官 警報解除 Alarm's disabled, sir.
收到 勃夫 Roger that, Bough.
勃夫 情況比我想的更糟糕 This is worse than I thought, Bough.
沙維奇在這里設置了一些實驗室 Sauvage has got some kind of laboratory set up here.
天知道他在做什么變態的試驗 God knows what kind of sick operation he's running.
天啊 他們都對你干了些什么 My God, what have they done to you?
他們抽了我的血 They've taken some of my blood.
-混蛋 -只是去做試驗 - Bastards! - It's only for tests.
當然是了 來吧 朋友 Of course it is. Come on, my friend.
趁他們還沒拿走更多的東西 快離開這兒 Let's get you out of here before they take anything else.
晚上好 魔鬼斯坦醫生 Ah! Good evening, Dr Frankenstein.
請走這邊 Come on This way, please.
快點 我可沒那么多時間 Come on. I haven't got all night.
你們這些死亡天使 And you, you angels of death.
轉過去 快點 About turn. Come on, let's go.
快 快走 Come on, come on. Keep moving.
那邊的 我知道你在干什么 還有你 Come on. Over there. I know what you're doing here. And you.
過去 快點 那邊 Come on. Quicker. Quicker. Over there.
現在可以讓我見見你們的魔鬼老板了吧 Now then, perhaps you could direct me to your evil paymaster.
你在說什么 What are you talking about?
你很清楚我在說什么 You know exactly what I'm talking about.
帕斯卡·沙維奇的辦公室在哪 Where is the office of Pascal Sauvage?
長官 你能快點過來嗎 Are you coming over here in a minute, sir?
我是軍情七處特工 I'm from MI7.
我在測試你們對突發事件的反應能力 This has been a test ofyour emergency response systems,
不得不說你們做得很好 and I have to say you've all done extremely well.
我得走了 Right. Well, I'll leave you to it.
沒事了 And, uh, get well soon.
老天吶 Oh, God!
長官 長官 Sir. Sir.
你降錯地方了嗎? Did you just land on the wrong building?
我去察看了周邊環境 I did a precautionary sweep of the immediate environment.
挺好 Right.
-一切正常 -那就好 - And everything was fine. - Good.
好了 走 Okay, let's go.
我會到樓下接待處... I will be downstairs at the reception and...
就別再走了 That's far enough.
晚上好 Well, good evening.
-或許你會喜歡這個 -什么東西 - Perhaps you'd like this as well. - What is it?
給你看看 Let me show you.
干得好 勃夫 但多此一舉 Well executed, Bough, but completely redundant.
-長官 什么意思 -強力肌肉松弛劑 - How do you mean, sir? - Super-strength muscle relaxant.
待他醒來 他會像散了架一樣 When he wakes up, he'll be as floppy as a damp old sock.
這是什么 What's this?
是坎特伯雷大主教的臉 That's the face of the archbishop of Canterbury.
他們想干什么? What are they doing?
這跟王冠有什么關系 What's this got to do with the Crown Jewels?
勃夫 Bough.
英格利西 English.
一個曾經占有... A people whose empire once covered...
整個地球四分之一土地的帝國 one quarter of the surface of the earth.
哎呀 不再是了 Alas, no longer.
我的朋友問我 帕斯卡 是什么讓你... My friends ask me, "Pascal, how can you be so interested...
對這個倒退的小國感興趣 in such a backward, grotty little country?"
我的答案很簡單: 是女王 My answer is simple: the queen.
女王的白手套有著強大的力量... The queen has more power in her tiny white gloves...
世上沒有哪個國家的元首能與之抗衡 than any other head of state in the entire world.
她可以發起戰爭 也能帶來和平 She can declare war or make peace,
但最令人著迷的地方是... and most intriguingly...
只要她喜歡 她可以占領任何土地 she can seize any piece of land which takes her fancy.
當然 女王從沒有使用過... Of course, the queen never uses...
她被賦予的力量 the enormous power afforded to her.
但想象一下 如果有人能使用這份力量 But imagine someone who would use that power.
比如說 我 Imagine, say, me.
但是 長官 他怎么可能成為國王 But how could he do that, sir? How could he make himself king?
大主教 The archbishop.
舉起手來 Hands up.
半夜三更 全副武裝地到辦公室來 Heavily armed for a late night at the office.
英格利西 你這笨蛋 你別想活著離開這大廈 You fool, English. You'll never get out of the building alive.
我還是省省力氣留著審問你吧 I'd save your breath for my questioning.
我什么也不會告訴你 I'm not telling you anything.
錯 Incorrect.
泄密鈉 Sodium pentothal.
吃了這藥 你會知無不言的 I won't lie to you. It's a truth serum.
說吧 為什么沙維奇想成為國王 Now then, why does Sauvage want to have himself crowned?
你根本就不知道會出什么事吧 You have no idea what's going on here, do you?
真好笑 就好像... It would be funny if it wasn't so "pablibblit."
什么 What?
長官 他在胡言亂語 He's talking gibberish, sir.
我能聽到 I can hear that, Bough.
長官 他倒在我身上了 He's collapsed onto me, sir.
我能看到 I can see that, Bough.
你不會把藥搞混了吧? You don't think you could've got the syringes mixed up?
什么意思 What do you mean?
給外面的守衛用了泄密鈉 給他用了肌肉松弛劑 Given the guard outside truth serum and given Klein the muscle relaxant?
真好笑 勃夫 我還是能分清左右的 Don't be ridiculous, Bough. I think I know my right from my left.
長官 Sir?
糟糕 Oh, bugger it.
勃夫 拿... Bough, take "flodd."
-長官 拿什么 -...... Take what, sir? Flodd. "Schlage."
-長官 第二個字是? -...... - I'm not quite getting that second word, sir. - Schlaaaagh!
-長官 寫下來 -...... - Write it down, sir. - Schlaaaagh!
對 就是那個字... Yes! That is it, schlaaaagh!
C. C-A... C. C-A-Uh.
汽車 去取車 可我們是坐飛機來的 Car! Take the car! We came by plane.
走開 Bugger off!
呆在那不要動 Hold it right there.
他們怎么了? What's wrong with them?
哦 他們... 不告訴你 Oh, they got... I'm not telling you.
答錯 Wrong answer.
你們兩個是什么? What is it with you two?
我們走吧 Let's get outta here.
你到底是什么人 Sorry, but who are you, exactly?
巴黎國際刑警 羅拉特工 Special Agent Campbell. I'm attached to Interpol in Paris.
我們已經監視了沙維奇幾個月了 We've been watching Sauvage for months.
為什么 Why?
半年來 從他的監獄里放出來的犯人 Because every major convict released from a Sauvage prison...
都被他手下的一間公司雇用了 in the last six months has been employed by one of his companies.
我們相信一定有大陰謀 We believe he's recruiting them for a major criminal conspiracy.
但我們還沒查出是什么 We just don't know what yet.
-他說什么? -帕格索斯 - What did he say? - Pegasus!
我們要向帕格索斯報告 We have to report to Pegasus!
不要 長官 Oh, no, sir. No, no, no.
-我們怎么離開這里 -你們兩個 - How do we get out of here? - Hey, you two!
你們對我干什么了 真疼 What you did to me really hurt.
是 真抱歉 Yeah. Sorry about that.
怎樣才能不被發現的從這里出去 How do we get out of here without being seen?
聽我說 Okay.
走到噴泉向左 消防通道的右邊盡頭有電梯 Left by the fountain, right by the fire exit, to the elevator at the end.
-謝謝 -我說了? - Thank you. - Oh, my God.
勃夫 干得好 Nice job, Bough.
長官 左邊 Left, sir. Left!
長官 這種狀態下可別去沙維奇的招待會 Sir,you can't go to Sauvage's reception in this state.
藥效已經過去了 The effect of the drug has practically worn off.
我在費(飛） I'm "fline".
費 schline. uh, "gline".
-先生 -謝謝 - Monsieur. - Ah. Thank you.
再來一杯 Would you like another?
好的 Please.
謝謝 Thank you.
看在上帝的份上... What in God's name.
原來是外交 部 長 Foreign "Sebretarary."
跳只舞嗎? Shall we dance?
打擾一下 長官 我需要你... Excuse me, sir. I'm very sorry to interrupt. I need you...
帕斯卡 很高興再次見到你 Pascal, how nice to see you again.
-玩得開心嗎 -太好了 - Enjoying the party? - Oh, splendid affair.
我收到一個消息 I was until I was informed that your man English...
你們的英格利西先生和他這位好奇的朋友 and his curious boyfriend here have spent the evening...
剛才闖進我的辦公室并襲擊了我的職員 breaking into my office and assaulting my staff.
-勃夫 真的嗎 -是 我們... - Is this true, Bough? - Well, we... we...
你們在干什么? What do you think you're up to?
-長官 我能幫... -勃夫 回去 - Sir, if I could just offer. - Go home, Bough!
馬上 Now!
我已經命令你別糾纏沙維奇了 I gave you direct orders not to meddle with Sauvage.
你干了些什么 潛入他的辦公室 毆打他的職員 What do you do? Break into his office and assault two of his staff.
然后來到這里 侮辱了外交部長 Then you march in here, loaded with God knows what, and insult the foreign secretary.
我在白廳干了30年 還從沒見過這種事 I haven't encountered such behaviour in Whitehall in 30 years.
-可是... -沒什么可是 英格利西 - But. - There are no "buts", English.
你別再管這案子了 你的特工身份現在取消 You're off the case. Your security clearance is hereby cancelled.
休假三個月 回你原來的崗位 After a three-month leave of absence, you will return at your old grade.
我再也不想聽到你的名字 And I hope never to hear your name again.
英格利西看到太多的東西了 English has seen too much.
我們采用B計劃 We go to plan "B."
不要再用假大主教了 Get rid of the fake archbishop...
我們去探望一下女王陛下 and green-light the visit to Her Majesty.
我會正式登上王位 Then this pathetic country can humiliate itself...
并使這個國家屈服于我 by crowning me officially.
英女王桑德靈厄姆行宮
這是有退位詔書 That's a letter of abdication...
聲明你退位... renouncingyour claims to the throne...
并與王室斷絕關系 and the claims of your entire family.
簽字吧 Sign it.
休想 Never.
什么事 Yes?
首相 很抱歉這么晚打來 Prime Minister, sorry to call so late,
女王要宣布退位 but I'm afraid the queen is abdicating.
什么 What?
退位? Abdicated?
那不可能 But that's not possible.
我只希望那不是真的 I only wish that were true.
讓我跟她談 她可能... Let me talk to her. Maybe she just.
帕斯卡 她走了 Pascal, she's gone.
最近這10個小時里 我們在... My people have spent the last 10 hours...
尋找一個合適的王位繼承人... trying to track down the rightful heir to the throne...
經過再三研究 and they've come up with a name,
我們終于找到了一個 which they've double-checked.
誰 Who is it?
就是你 It's you.
不可能吧 No!
今早 罪犯將王冠... In the wake of the return ofthe Crown Jewels...
放到倫敦北警局門外 to a police station in North London,
帕斯卡·沙維奇要求他的加冕禮... Pascal Sauvage has requested that his coronation...
于周四舉行 take place this Thursday.
首相在議院表示他期待著這場加冕禮 In the House, the prime minister said he was looking forward to the ceremony...
同時他也相信沙先生會成為好國王 and he believed that Monsieur Sauvage will make a fine king...
并為英國傳統制度帶來現代歐洲的氣息 and will bring all that is best about modern Europe to our ancient institutions.
拿上車鑰匙 我們有事做了 Get your car keys. We've got work to do.
-羅拉小姐 -沙維奇回法國了 - Miss Campbell. - Sauvage is heading back to its shelter of France.
他邀請了全球最有錢的13個犯罪頭子在那兒見面 He's invited 13 of the richest criminal masterminds in the world to meet him there.
抱歉 羅拉小姐 我已不管這案件了 I'm sorry, Miss Campbell. I'm off the case.
我被解職了 It's been reassigned.
我知道 我來任命你 I know. Reassigned to me.
-我需要你和我一起 -別管我 - Look, I want you with me, Johnny. - Just leave me alone.
難道你就這樣坐在這兒顧影自憐 Are you gonna sit here in this grotty flat feeling sorry for yourself?
還是挺身而出 拯救國家 Or are you gonna get out there and save your country?
我還是顧影自憐吧 I'm gonna sit in the flat.
-強尼 你太可笑了 -我已盡力了 Johnny, this is ridiculous. I'm a spent force.
盡力個屁 Spent my ass.
你能停下嗎? Will... you... please... stop?
我馬上就過去 I'll just be a minute.
法國北部
還有一小時天就黑了 It'll be nightfall in an hour.
到時我們就能潛入城堡 Then we can strike out for the chateau.
如果沙維奇戴上了王冠 The fact is, the moment Sauvage gets that crown on his head,
他就能對我的國家為所欲為了 he'll be able to do whatever he likes with the country that I love,
所以我們才要一起阻止他 and that is why you and I have got to stop him.
在想什么 Relishing the thought?
在想一些事 Something like that.
強尼 我想你跟很多女人上過床 對嗎 I suppose you've made love to lots ofwomen, haven't you,Johnny?
如你所言 Well, you know,
能者多勞嘛 one does one's best.
我... It's just.
自從我的未婚夫離開了我 Well, it's been three years since my fiance left me,
我已經三年沒做愛了 and since then I haven't made love to anyone.
但當我見到你... But then I met you...
我感覺到... and I felt this...
饑渴 hunger...
內心里深深的渴望 deep down inside.
想向你傾訴 I wanted to say things to you,
想跟你做些什么... I wanted to do things to you...
做我已經很久很久沒做過的事 that I haven't wanted to do in a very, very, very long time.
什么... What, uh.
你說的是什么事情 What sort of things are we talking about?
比如迎面給你一老拳 Things like punching you in the face, things like...
對你的屁股揣上幾腳 你這個裝糊涂的家伙 kicking you in the backside for being such a pompous, know-nothing asshole.
不過后來我看清了這眾人眼里的傻瓜 But then I started to see beyond the idiot that everybody else saw.
我開始看清他的內在... I started to see the man on the inside...
他是個不畏險阻 一心完成任務的人 who was determined to do his duty, no matter what or who lay in his way.
我對他有了不一樣的看法了 And I began to feel other things for him,
我想為他做別的事情 to want to do other things for him.
別的事... Things...
包括使用塑膠玩具和軟奶酪 involving plastic toys and soft cheese?
-什么? -什么什么? - What? - What? What?
你跟我在這裝 You're toying with me.
你要我別再這么柔弱 You're telling me to stop in the gentlest way you know how.
不 不 No. N-N-No.
你真是個特別的人... You're such a special person, Johnny...
你不會對我乘虛而入 not to take advantage of me while I'm vulnerable.
-不... 是 -謝謝你... - No, no, well. - So thank you...
你是真正的紳士 for being such a gentleman.
不客氣 Not at all.
羅拉 我知道你在想什么 I know what you're thinking, Miss Campbell.
你在想 如果我們失敗 you thinking if we don't pull this off,
誰知道英格蘭要遭什么殃 God knows what might happen to England.
事實上 我在想一定有比這更好的路 Actually, I was thinking there must be a better way in than that pipe.
沒有了 Well, there isn't.
我已經到處察看過了 這是最佳選擇 I've analysed it from every angle, and this is the best option.
我先進去 如果安全的話我再叫你 I'll go in first, and if it's a clear way through, I'll call down, ok?
強尼 Johnny.
-小心點 -我一貫小心 - Be careful. - I'm always careful.
先生們 Gentlemen.
幾個小時后... In a few hours time...
我將成為英國的新任國王 I will become the next king of England.
不... Oh, no.
你怎么進來的? How did you get here?
爬梯子 Up the ladder.
冷靜點 不過有點兒臭罷了 Pull yourself together. It's only a bit of poo.
好涼! 真冷! Oh! Oh, it's cold! It's cold!
先生們 世界上... What is the one commodity...
什么東西是不會消失的? the world never seems to run out of?
是犯罪 Criminals, gentlemen.
違法 Lawbreakers.
世界上每個國家都面臨... Every nation in the world struggles...
罪犯過多的問題 with the issue of overcrowded prisons.
我們該怎樣處置這些罪犯 So, what do we do with all these villains?
只要能解決這個問題... Find the solution to that problem...
各國政府都會對你言聽計從 and the governments of the world would pay you through their nose.
幸運地 我找到解決辦法了 Fortunately, I have found a solution.
我們清空各國的監獄 We empty every prison on the entire planet,
我們把這些人渣集中起來... we take the resulting tidal wave of human scum...
統統放到這里 and we put it here.
只要我一戴上王冠 The moment I am crowned king,
我就會把英格蘭變成世界上有史以來... I will turn England into the largest prison...
最大的監獄 in the history of the world.
21萬平方英里... 210,000 square miles...
的土地... of prime real estate...
依靠20英里的海峽... conveniently separated from true civilization...
毫不費力地跟文明世界隔開 by 20 miles of ocean...
-很快就可以... -來 - and soon to be available... - Come on.
提供給世界各國傾倒人渣 for the entire world to dump its human waste in.
按照現在的計劃 According to current projections,
今后500年內都不會有監獄不足的問題 we will not run out ofprison space for the next 500 years.
今晚 你們當中只有一位... So, tonight one, and only one, of you...
可以帶著49%的... will leave here owning 49 percent...
股份離開這里 of this venture.
這就是他的把戲 So that's his little game.
我們要把那張DVD奪過來 We must get hold of that DVD.
強尼 怎樣做 我們只有兩個人 But how, Johnny? There's only two of us.
羅拉小姐 你太嫩了 經驗不足 You're young, Miss Campbell, and inexperienced.
你忘了一點... What you seem to have forgotten is that...
沒人知道我們在這 nobody knows we are here.
我的計劃是 突襲 At our disposal we have the vital element of surprise.
這個計劃即簡單又有效 Now, my plan is simple but effective.
我從房間盡頭的畫廊跳下去 劫持沙維奇做人質 I shall drop from the gallery at this end ofthe room and take Sauvage prisoner.
然后你從那邊的門進入 防止他們逃跑 You will then enter from the far door, cutting off any means of escape.
只要劫持了沙維奇 我們就能離開 明白嗎 Then, using Sauvage as a hostage, we'll get the hell out ofhere. Clear?
站起來 你這法國佬 Get 'em up, you French ponce.
英格利西先生 我真是大吃一驚 But, Mr English, I'm gobsmacked!
真是太突然了 What an unexpected surprise.
沙維奇 突襲可是我的強項 Surprises are very much my speciality, Sauvage.
戲演夠了 I think we've seen enough of this.
我已知道你的計劃 我就是來阻止你的 I know exactly what you're planning, and I'm here to put a stop to it.
只要有我在 休想當英國國王 My bottom will be king of England before you are.
又錯了 Wrong again.
我想你最好看一下背后 Perhaps you'd care to look behind you.
別嚇我了 Oh, please.
羅拉 Lorna!
對不起 強尼 I'm sorry,Johnny.
今晚的表演... Well, I'm afraid that we'll have to...
該結束了 conclude the floor show for tonight.
沒那么容易 沙維奇 Not so fast, Sauvage.
你可以打敗我 但你絕不會打敗英國 You may have taken me, but you'll never take England.
只要我還有一口氣在... Not as long as I have breath in my body...
還剩一顆子彈 or a bullet in my gun.
英格利西先生 我真的會很想念你的 You know, Mr English, I'm going to miss you. Really.
你太有趣了 謝謝你 You're very entertaining. I thank you.
帶走 Take them away.
大家早上好 Good morning, everybody,
歡迎收聽早餐秀 and welcome to the breakfast show.
人們聚集在此 觀看自1066年以來... As the crowds are gathering here for the crowning of our first French king...
第一個法國藉英王的加冕禮 since the year 1066,
請撥本臺熱線 談談你最愛的十樣法國事物 call here at London FM with the top ten things you most love about the French.
我們暫時還沒接到聽眾電話 We haven 't had any calls yet, uh, at all,
我們的熱線在等待 號碼是... but the lines are still open and I'll give you that number again
0207... 0-2-0-7. Zero, deux, Zero, sept.
強尼 情形不妙 This is not good, Johnny.
我們得想個辦法 We've got to think of something.
等等 我有辦法了 Wait a minute. I've got an idea.
跳 Hop! Hop!
再跳 停 And hop! And hop! And stop!
你知道嗎 危地馬拉三角地帶的... Now, are you familiar...
薩滿教徒運用顫音唱歌 with the shaman throat warblers of the Guatemalan delta?
什么 What?
他們一直相信... It has long been their belief...
當口哨的頻率與鎖芯的頻率相同時... that a whistle pitched at the precise resonant frequency of a metal lock...
引起的共振會把鎖舌打開 will vibrate the levers in such a way that the door will simply swing open.
難以置信 Unbelievable.
跪下 And kneel.
好了 我開始了 Right. Here goes.
我什么也聽不到 I can't hear anything.
我在用超聲波 I'm into ultrasonic.
你就不能停下面對現實嗎? Johnny, will you just stop all this and face facts?
我們失敗了 We've failed.
能救我們的只有奇跡 The only thing that can save us now is a miracle.
成功了 It worked!
長官 Sir?
勃夫 真弄不懂你干嘛要從臭管子爬上來 I don't know why you hauled yourself up that dreadful poo tube, Bough,
不是有梯子嗎 when there was a perfectly good ladder right beside it.
沙維奇可能已經利用假的大主教 Now, Sauvage may have fooled the country...
騙了全國 with his fake archbishop and his secret agenda,
但他騙不了我 but he hasn't fooled me.
計劃是這樣的 So, here's the plan.
諸位 你們今天將在此見證 Sirs, you are hereby called to witness the anointing...
你們的主人和未來的國王—沙維奇接受洗禮 of your one true lord and future king Pascal.
帕斯卡 Pascal,
你同意宣誓嗎 are you willing to take the oath?
我愿意 I am willing.
我現以圣油... Then be thou anointed...
為你洗禮 with this holy oil.
英格蘭 蘇格蘭 威爾士推選出的主教們 And do you, the chosen bishops of England, Scotland and Wales,
你們同意洗禮嗎 ascent to this anointing?
蘇格蘭同意 For Scotland, I do.
威爾士同意 For Wales, I do.
英格蘭 不同意 For England, I do not!
英格利西!? English!?
這人不能接受加冕 因為他是... That man must not be crowned king because he is...
是可惡騙子 是賊 a fraudster, a charlatan and a thief.
別阻止他 讓他說完 No, please. Let him speak.
就是他 帕斯卡·沙維奇 It is this man, Pascal Sauvage,
偷走了王冠 who stole the Crown Jewels,
逼迫女王退位... who forced the queen to abdicate...
并殺死了所有阻擋他的人 and who would kill anyone who got in his way.
夠了 英格利西先生 It is the end, Herr English.
他欺騙了這個國家... He has cheated, conned and manipulated...
為了達到他自己的目的 this great country for his own ends.
他把你們都騙了 He's fooled you all!
還有 這個儀式也是假的... What's more, this whole ceremony is a sham...
因為站在你們面前的這個人... because that man standing in front of you...
不是坎特伯雷大主教 is not the archbishop of Canterbury.
英格利西 我勸你一句 別太過火了 English, a word ofadvice: Don't go there.
閉嘴 法國佬 我愛怎樣就怎樣 Shut it, Frenchy. I'll go wherever I damn well please.
-摘下來 -摘什么? - Now take it off. - What?
你的塑料面具 Your face is made of plastic.
現在就摘下來 Remove it at once.
我不知道你在說什么 I have no idea what you're talking about.
好吧 Right.
那我就親自動手了 Well, I'll just have to remove it myself.
下來 Come on!
可能是從前面拉 Maybe it pulls up from the front.
下來啊 Come on, you!
啊哈 非常感謝 Aaah! Thank you very much.
肯定有個接口 Must be a join here somewhere.
精彩的表演 英格利西先生 Fascinating performance as always, Monsieur English,
但我們必須繼續進行 but I'm afraid we must move on.
在我跟這個賤人了結前 Nobody's moving anywhere until I'm finished...
誰也不許動 with this piece of low-life.
你的屁股上是不是... Do you or do you not...
繡著紋身... have tattooed on your bottom the words,
耶酥來了 看上去挺忙 "Jesus is coming, look busy?"
你有病啊 Are you insane?
讓我秀給大家看 好吧? Well, let's find out, shall we?
轉過去 Go on, over.
來吧 讓我們看一看 Go on, let's have a look.
太精彩了 Excellent!
看來 All right,
我把大主教的屁股弄錯了 so I was wrong about the archbishop's bottom.
但 還有 But there's more.
恐怕今天什么都沒有了 But not, I'm afraid, today.
把這個人帶走 Sergeant, please take this man away.
-對他客氣點兒 -你以為這就完了 - But be gentle with him. - Do you think that's it?
你以為我就沒證據了 You think I don't have more evidence?
我的部下有一張DVD... My loyal subordinate is standing by with a DVD...
里面錄下了沙維奇的丑惡計劃 which shows Sauvage's hideous plans for this country.
弄出去 把他弄出去 Get him out! Get him out of here!
播 勃夫 播放碟片 Play it, Bough! Play the disk!
馬上播放 立刻 Play it! Now!
你是那么熱辣地戲弄我 You're so hot teasing me
你現在有點郁悶 So you're blue,
可我上哪找你這樣的姑娘 but I can't take a chance on a chick like you
有些事我不能做 It's something' I couldn't do
要是能讓你高興 咱們來跳個舞 Well, I can dance with you, honey if you think it's funny
你媽媽知道你出去了嗎 Does your mother know that you're out
跟你一起高呼 跟你打情罵俏 And I could shout with you, baby. Flirt a little, maybe
你媽媽知道你出去了嗎 Does your mother know that you're out
放松點 - Take it easy. - Take it easy
慢慢來 現在已無路可去 Better slow down, girl. That's no way to go
你媽媽知道你出去了嗎? Does your mother know
可以繼續了嗎 Well, shall we?
正如所羅門接受牧師沙都克和... Then as Solomon was anointed king...
先知內森之圣油被封為王 by Zadok the priest and Nathan the prophet,
圣油賜予汝... so be thou anointed...
眾人之... and consecrated king...
圣君... over all the peoples...
上帝賜予汝... whom the Lord thy God...
管治眾人之力量... hath given thee to govern...
及所有之財產 and of all your possessions,
無論在哪 wherever they may be.
現在 以圣父... And so, in the name of the Father...
圣子... and of the Son...
以及圣靈之名 and of the Holy Ghost,
我加冕你... I crown you.
該死 Damn it!
-還給我 -不 - Give it back! - No!
-那是我的王冠 -永遠不會 - That is my crown! - Never!
-還給我 -永遠別想 沙維奇 - Give it back! - Never in a million years, Sauvage!
-還給我 -別碰 - Give it to me! - Get off.
還給我 Give it back!
-停手 -閉嘴! - Stop! - Shut up!
這愚蠢的小國只要規規矩矩... All this stupid little country have to do is stand in line...
照我的說話做一天就行了 and do what it's told for one miserable day!
但它能做到嗎? But can it do that?
我那香噴噴的法國屁股說 它能 My fragrant French ass says: "it can!"
廢物 Merde!
交出王冠 戴上 快 Give it! The crown, eh? The crown! Go!
現在 以圣父... And so, in the name ofthe Father...
圣子 以及圣靈之名 and of the Son and of the Holy Ghost,
我加冕你... I crown you...
為王 king.
怎么是這樣 What.
逮捕那個人 Arrest that man...
關起來 and lock him away.
英國國歌 《天佑吾王》
天佑吾王 萬壽無疆 God save the king. Long live the king.
天佑吾王 God save the king.
阿門 Amen, amen...
阿門 哈利路亞 Amen, amen, hallelujah
阿門 Amen
天佑吾王 God save the king.
對你的所做的一切 言語無法表達出我的感激之情 Words can hardly express just how much we appreciate everything you've done.
陛下 這是我的職責 Nothing more than my duty, ma'am.
作為回報 女王和國家能為你做點什么嗎 And in return, is there anything that your queen and country can do for you?
那么 Well,
既然你開了金口 陛下... Since one is asking, ma'am.
為慶祝重登王位 The headlines again. In celebration of her return to the throne,
女王宣布8月5日為全國的節日... the queen has declared August 5th a national holiday...
并授予一位無名的軍情七處特工爵士稱號 and has conferred a knighthood on the unnamed MI7 agent...
獎勵其挫敗了法國奸商帕斯卡·沙維奇的陰謀 responsible for foiling the plot ofFrench businessman Pascal Sauvage.
沙維奇正等著以叛國罪被審訊 Mr Sauvage is now awaiting trial for high treason,
這是唯一會獲死刑的罪名 a crime which still carries the death penalty.
一旦罪名成立 他的大腦將會被用于醫學研究... If found guilty, he's asked that his brain be donated to medical science...
以進一步研究狂躁精神分裂癥的病因 to further research into the causes of hyper manic schizophrenia.
同時 那位無名的特工已離開了祖國... Meanwhile, the unnamed English agent has left the country...
開始他的下一項任務 and has already embarked on his next challenging mission.
法國南部某處
英格利西爵士 Sir Johnny English.
看來女王陛下對我很滿意 Her Majesty did seem very grateful.
對你滿意的可不止她一個 She's not the only one.
你總是讓人驚喜 You are full of surprises.
強尼 Johnny!