small talk do know someone who can strike up a conversation with everybody
they meet their conversations look effortless they often get free drinks at
the bar and they make best friends anytime they go out how do these people
do it are they some type of social mutants or are they just some Naturals
when it comes to talking to people they may be gifted but they don't have some
coveted secret instead they've just mastered the art of small talk
that also elusive skill that many people claim to hate while a lot of small talk is based only on the fact that they're
standing next to someone they have to say something the real goal is to find
common ground to spark up a conversation first you need to realize that small
talk is not a pointless chitchat and claim to be only interested in a real conversation how do you get to the point
of having a deeper conversation with someone in the first place someone you
just met will be weirded out if you just walk up to them and ask what do you
think happens after you die conversation is a ladder with small talk serving as
the first few rungs you can't leapfrog up the ladder that
would be like trying to sprint before warming up or cooking a steak before
defrosting it now let's look at a few things you can do to get that
conversation rolling a little quicker sharing small details is a really good
way to spark interest in a subject and start up a real conversation instead of
responding to a simple question like how's it going with good what about you
expand your answer with details about your day for instance you might say good
I spend the morning playing basketball with friends and I'm feeling great
when you share that little piece of your story you'll get to one of the two
responses a question about how it was or disinterested oh cool
if they reciprocate your excitement you can head in you can continue the
conversation if they don't seem interested try revealing another detail until
something sticks you can also start with a small compliment just simple I love
your watch where did you get it can get you in a fun conversation about what
shopping even if the compliment doesn't lead anywhere it will still make the
person feel more appreciated before we start discussing other subjects you can
also use this move as a way to actually introduce yourself to someone learn to
ask relevant questions we're all hardwired to share information about
ourselves but in order to get to a point where we're having a real conversation
it's important to show interest in another person first too often when we
are meeting someone new we try to feel dead moments with chatter about
ourselves it's far better for you to listen first and talk second of course
someone have to start the conversation but if you and your companion actually
listen to each other and not to worry about what to say next things will flow
more naturally asking questions is a great way to turn a small talk into a
conversation just make sure your question is relevant to the topic at
hand and not a way to turn the conversation back to you when asking a question make sure it's not closed-ended
a closed-ended question is answered in a shorter single answer a few examples would be did you clean the house can be
answered with a simple no did you speak to John can be answered with a simple
yes closed-ended questions bring conversations to a halt they don't
invite people to elaborate talk about themselves or give the questioner any
information on the other hand an open-ended question
requires a full answer using the subjects own knowledge or feelings these
questions result in an answer with many words a few examples would be what
happened after I left how was your day at work what do you think about the new
season of this TV show the main reason to use open-ended questions is to obtain
deep meaningful and thoughtful answers asking questions in this way invites people to open up because you're showing
that you're interested in what they have to say so let's summarize what we just
learned small talk leads to a deeper conversation share small details about
yourself give a genuine compliment and learn to ask open-ended questions thanks
for watching if you have any more small talk tips you would like to share post
them in the comments below don't forget to Like and subscribe and become better
than yesterday
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