FROM COMEDY CENTRALS
WORLD NEWS HEADQUARTERS
IN NEW YORK, THIS IS "THE DAILY
SHOW" WITH JON STEWART!
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
♪
>> Jon: WELCOME TO "THE DAILY
SHOW."
I'M JON STEWART.
MAN, WE HAVE A GOOD SHOW
TONIGHT!
WE HAVE PREPARED A BEAUTIFUL
PROGRAM.
TONIGHT ON OUR PROGRAM, A YOUNG
FELLOW NAMED JON HAMM!
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
YOU'RE PROBABLY AWARE AS REGULAR
VIEWERS OF THIS PROGRAM THAT
LAST WEEK THE SUPREME COURT
COURT HELD DOWN RULINGS ON
HEALTH CARE AND MATRIMONY THAT
CAUSED SOME IN THE CONSERVATIVE COMMUNITY TO
REACT WITH CONSTERNATION.
>> THESE NINE SUPREME COURT
JUSTICES KNOW THEY'RE NOT DOING
WHAT THEY'RE COMPELLED TO DO BY
THE CONSTITUTION.
>> THE SUPREME COURT RULINGS ARE
HEARTBREAKING THEY'RE REWRITING
LAWS AT THE BENCH.
>> THESE LEGISLATORS IN ROBE.
MIGHT AS WELL GET RID OF THE
SUPREME COURT AND SAVE MONEY.
(LAUGHTER)
>> Jon: THEN WE WOULD HAVE
MONEY TO PAY FOR SOME LIGHTING.
(LAUGHTER)
STORAGE ROOM/FIGHT CLUB
FACILITY, THEY LET ME USE THE
PRESIDENTIAL CAMPAIGN.
I'M GONNA LOSE REAL BAD.
PEOPLE DON'T -- THEY'RE NOT
INTERESTED.
I DON'T -- I SHOULD HAVE --
SHOULD HAVE (BLEEP) TURNED THE
LIGHTS ON.
(LAUGHTER)
I SAY TO YOU, TAKE HEART, YOUNG
ROBERT JINDAL!
YOUR TIME IS ACOMING.
>> THE SUPREME COURT DEALING A
MAJOR BLOW TO PRESIDENT OBAMA.
>> AFTER A SERIES OF LOSSES,
CONSERVATIVES GET A VICTORY AT
THE U.S. SUPREME COURT!
>> Jon: OH!
WHAT DID THEY GET?
DID THE COURT REAFFIRM AMERICA
AS OFFICIALLY AWESOME!
DID THEY DECLARE REAGAN ON ALL
OUR CURRENCY?
OH, OH -- CAN THE EAGLES DRIVE
NOW WHAT CONSTITUTES THIS
CONSERVATIVE VICTORY?
>> TODAY THE UNITED STATES
SUPREME COURT RULED THAT A
CONTROVERSIAL DRUG USED IN
EXECUTIONS DOES NOT VIOLATE THE
CONSTITUTION.
>> THE SUPREME COURT TOSSING OUT
THE ENVIRONMENTAL PROTECTION
AGENCY'S FIRST-EVER RULES
REQUIRING POWER PLANTS TO CUT
EMISSIONS OF MERCURY AND OTHER
AIR POLLUTANTS.
(LAUGHTER)
>> Jon: CONGRATULATIONS.
(LAUGHTER)
WHAT A GREAT VICTORY.
(LAUGHTER)
SO, YES, GAY PEOPLE HAVE THE
RIGHT TO MARRY, AND POOR PEOPLE
HAVE THE RIGHT TO INSURANCE, BUT
ON THE BRIGHT SIDE, AMERICANS
CAN STILL KILL PRISONERS PAINFULLY
AND EVERYONE ELSE SLOWLY.
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
WHAT THE (BLEEP)!
WELL, I GUESS LET'S START WITH
THE STATE-SANCTIONED AGONY CASE.
>> SHORTLY AFTER OKLAHOMA BEGAN
PUMPING A LETHAL COMBINATION OF
DRUGS INTO THE ARM OF CONVICTED
MURDERER CLAYTON LOCKETT,
SOMETHING WENT WRONG.
DEATH PENALTY OPPONENTS SUED
SAYING THE FIRST OF THREE DRUGS
FAILED TO RENDER HIM
UNCONSCIOUS, EXPOSING HIM TO
INTENSE PAIN, CRUEL AND UNUSUAL
PUNISHMENT.
>> WHAT'S CRUEL AND UNUSUAL
ANYWAY?
I MEAN, FOR INSTANCE, KILLING A
MAN BY STARVATION, THAT'S CRUEL.
BUT IS IT UNUSUAL?
ON THE OTHER HAND, KILLING A
FELLOW WITH GREAT SEX UNTIL HE
DIES OF EXHAUSTION, VERY
UNUSUAL...
BUT NOT THAT CRUEL.
(APPLAUSE)
YOU REALLY HAVE TO CHECK THE
CRUEL AND UNUSUAL PUNISHMENT
MATRIX.
(LAUGHTER)
THE SWEET SPOT IS SOMEWHERE --
TORN APART BY CLOWNS?
THAT IS (BLEEP) UP.
(LAUGHTER)
YOU REALLY CAN'T BE TORN APART
BY CLOWNS.
BUT THE COURT ISN'T JUST THE
FAVOR OF AMERICANS BEING ABLE TO
POISON PRISONERS, THE COURT IS
IN FAVOR OF POISONING EVERYBODY.
>> THE REVERSAL LAST WEEK
DEALING A BLOW TO PRESIDENT
OBAMA.
>> THIS IS A VICTORY FOR PRIVATE
INDUSTRY.
>> IN GENERAL A RARE WIN FOR THE
COAL INDUSTRY.
>> WIN FOR THE ENERGY INDUSTRY.
A VICTORY FOR BUSINESS...
>> Jon: THEY SEEM REALLY GIDDY
ABOUT THE VICTORY.
YOU KNOW THE LOSING TEAM IN THAT
GAME WAS -- LUNGS.
YOU KNOW THAT, RIGHT?
I DON'T CARE IF IT (BLEEP)
LUNGS, BUSINESS RULES.
(LAUGHTER)
FOR MORE ON THE LATEST COURT
RULINGS WE GO TO JORDAN KLEPPER IN
WASHINGTON, D.C.!
JORDAN!
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
>> Jon: YEAH!
YEAH!
OH, MAN!
WE DID IT, JOHN!
HIGH FIVE ME, BRO!
>> Jon: JORDAN YOU'RE 200 MILES AWAY , I CAN'T HIGH FIVE YOU.
BUT YOU'RE STILL RIDING A HIGH
FROM THAT LAST WEEK'S MARRIAGE
RULING.
>> JORDAN: WHAT?
NO!
I'M CELEBRATING YESTERDAY'S HUGE
WINS FOR BIG ENERGY AND BIG
PAINFUL EXECUTION.
HEY, AMERICA, HOW ABOUT A LETHAL
INJECTION OF CONSTITUTION JUICE!
MY INSIDES ARE BURNING WITH
PRIDE.
CHEST BUMP ME, BRO!
I CAN'T I'M FAR AWAY FROM YOU.
>> Jon: I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S
WORSE, YOUR SENSE OF SPATIAL
RELATIONS OR YOUR IDEA OF
JUSTICE.
>> JORDAN: JOHN, AFTER A WEEK,
THE SUPREME COURT BROUGHT
JUSTICE BACK TO AMERICA.
THE PLACE WHERE BIG BUSINESS
WINS, HARD TO BREATHE AND WE GET
TO DECIDE HOW TO SUPER PINEFULLY
TO MAKE YOUR DEATH.
THAT'S THE COUNTRY I'M PROUD TO
FLY ME CONFEDERATE FLAG OVER.
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
>> Jon: C'MON, JORDAN, YOU
KNOW THAT'S NOT COOL ANYMORE.
>> JORDAN: OH, I'M SOWWY, DOES
MY PRO-SLAVERY, ANTI-AMERICAN
WACISM FLAG OFFEND YOUR DEWICATE
P.C. SENSIBIWITIES?
>> Jon: I DON'T KNOW IT'S P.C.
SENSIBILITIES!
>> YOU CAN'T SAY
"ALL MEXICANS ARE RAPISTS"
WITHOUT GETTING YOUR BEAUTY
PAGEANT PULLED FROM A MAJOR
NETWORK ANYMORE.
>> Jon: THEY'RE CLAMPING DOWN
ON FREE SPEECH WITH THAT ONE.
>> YEAH SEE YOU GET IT
YOU'RE NOT ONE OF THOSE
I DON'T GET IT JEWS.
JON, I'D ALL BUT LOST MY FAITH
IN THIS COUNTRY...
STORM CLOUDS WERE GATHERING.
UNTIL YESTERDAY, WHEN FIVE
SUPREME BEINGS SHOWED ME A
SILVER LINING, WHICH ACTUALLY
TURNED OUT TO BE A MERCURY-BASED
UNDERCOATING.
POINT IS, THE AMERICA I LOVE
ISN'T SLIPPING AWAY.
THERE'S PROOF EVERYWHERE YOU
LOOK.
>> McDONALD'S IS BEEFING UP
ONE OF ITS BURGERS.
THE FAST FOOD CHAIN IS COMING
OUT WITH A BIGGER QUARTER
POUNDER PATTY NEXT MONTH.
>> YOU REDEFINED MARRIAGE, (BLEEP) YOU!
WE'RE REDEFINING HOW MUCH A
QUARTER POUND WEIGHS!
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE WHAT WE
THINK OF NEXT!
HEY, WHAT'S AN OIL-RICH NATION
WE CAN START A WAR WITH?
>> Jon: NORWAY?
ORDAN: DONE.
WE'RE COMING FOR YOU, YOU PASTY,
FJORD-HAVING MOTHER (BLEEP)ERS!
YEE-HAW!
YEE --
(COUGHING VIOLENTLY)
>> Jon: JORDAN, ARE YOU OKAY?
JORDAN: IT'S JUST THE
MERCURY SHUTTING MY LUNGS DOWN.
JON, I NEED YOU TO GIVE ME CPR.
>> Jon: BUT I'M SO FAR AWAY!
CAN'T YOU FIND NINE ONE CLOSER?
>> JORDAN: IT CAN ONLY BE YOU!
I NEED THOSE TINY HANDS ON MY
CHEST AND THOSE SOFT JERSEY LIPS
ON MY MOUTH!
>> Jon: BECAUSE I LIKE YOU,
KID, I'M COMIN' FOR YA, BUDDY!
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
>> (DYING) JON, IT'S TOO LATE.
(SINGING)
♪ SWEET LAND OF MERCURY ♪
♪ AND LETHAL IN-.. ♪
>> Jon: DON'T LEAVE ME,
KLEPPER!
DON'T LEAVE ME, BOY!
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
YOU'RE GOING DOWN!
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
>> Jon: WELCOME BACK.
WE'VE SPENT A LOT OF TIME THIS
PAST WEEK ON ISSUES THAT DIVIDE
US.
BUT I'D LIKE TO TURN NOW TO
SOMETHING ESSENTIAL AND
PERMANENT THAT STANDS OUTSIDE
THE DAILY STRIFE AND JIGGERY POKERY,
OF OUR LIVES.
I'M REFERRING, OF COURSE, TO
TEA.
A HUMBLE HANDFUL OF LEAVES.
SOME BORING OLD WATER STRAIGHT
FROM THE TAP.
BUT PUT THEM TOGETHER, AND
SOMETHING MAGICAL HAPPENS.
SO IF YOU'RE WILLING, I'D LIKE
TO TAKE YOU ON A JOURNEY OF
APPRECIATION THROUGH THE WORLD
OF HIGH-END LOOSELEAF TEAS.
LET'S BEGIN WITH OOLONG TEA.
>> Hamm: JON, IF I COULD JUST--
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
HEY, YOU'RE THE ONLY OTHER
PERSON ON TV WHO SPELLS JON
CORRECTLY?
>> Hamm: UGH!
"JON" WITH AN H?
THAT'S AN ABOMINATION.
>> Jon: AN ABOMINATION.
YOU'RE A LITTLE EARLY,
BUT COME ON OVER.
LET ME JUST GET ANOTHER CUP!
>> Hamm: ACTUALLY, I'M NOT
HERE FOR TEA.
I HAVE BEEN WATCHING YOU FOR 16
LONG YEARS AND THERE'S ONE THING
NOBODY REALLY TALKS ABOUT.
>> Jon: WHAT'S THAT?
YOUR VOICE, JON.
YOUR GLORIOUS VOICE.
YOUR VOICE IS LIKE BETTE MIDLER,
BARBARA STREISAND AND LUCIANO
PAVAROTTI HAD A THREESOME, AND
THEN GAVE BIRTH TO THE PERFECT
SET OF VOCAL CORDS -- YOURS.
>> Jon: OH, STOP IT...
(CHEERING)
>> SO TONIGHT, WE CELEBRATE WHAT
YOU'VE LIKELY WANTED ALL ALONG,
TO TEACH THE WORLD TO SING.
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
♪ WELCOME TO "THE DAILY SHOW" ♪
♪ I'M JON STEWART ♪
♪ DON'T GO CHASING WATER FOUND ON
MARS ♪
♪ IF YOU LIKE PINA COLADAS
SODOMY PARTY ♪
♪ AND THE HEALTH CARE REFORM ♪
♪ MY MOM'S AND DAD'S WENT ON THE VACATION ♪
♪ FROM THE WESTERN WINGS ♪
♪ AND THE CRAWFORD RANCH ♪
♪ KARL ROVE JUST DESTROYED
EXECUTIVE BRANCH ♪
♪ CAN'T A GIRL GET A WET WIPE
WHEN IT'S TIME TO CHANGE ♪
♪ KUMBAYA, MY LORD ♪
♪ SABOTAGE ♪
♪ I LIKE BIG BUTTS I CANNOT LIE ♪
♪ THE POPE ♪
♪ JUST A LITTLE BIT♪
♪ THE POPE IS ON ♪
♪ RICOLA ♪
(SCATTING)
♪ IN NEW YORK ♪
♪ THE HILLS ARE ALIVE ♪
♪ I JUST VOTED YES ♪
♪ WELL, HELLO...♪
PAPA, CAN YOU HEAR ME ♪
♪ BOOBIES ♪
♪ EVERYTHING'S COMING UP ROSES ♪
♪ LOOKS LIKE WE MADE IT ♪
♪ CLANG, CLANG, CLANG WITH THE
HEALTH CARE ♪
♪ LET'S TALK ABOUT SCABIES ♪
♪ FACTIOUS GAYS ♪
♪ VAGINAL ULTRASOUND...♪
♪ POOR IS OVER ♪
♪ TAKING CARE OF BUISNESS ♪
SOMETIMES WE SCREW UP ♪
♪ HOLD ON, IT WAS A VERY
GOOD -- ♪
♪ OW! ♪
(SINGING)
♪ I'M ALRIGHT ♪
♪ TURNING JAPANESE I REALLY THINK SO ♪
♪ DON'T WANNA WORRY ABOUT ME ♪
(SINGING)
♪ WE'VE GOT TO PLEASE HER TEASE HER ♪
♪ AMERICA ♪
♪ (BLEEP) ♪
♪ (BLEEP) ♪ ♪
(SCREAMING)
♪
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
>> Jon: WOW.
WOW.
>> JON, I CAN HONESTLY SAY
NOTHING ON THIS EARTH PRODUCES A
SOUND QUITE LIKE YOURS --
(TEAPOT SCREAMING)
>> I STAND CORRECTED.
THERE IT IS.
>> Jon: WE'LL BE BACK,
EVERYBODY.
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
>> Jon: THIS GUY HAS A FILM
COMING OUT CALLED "MINIONS."
>> LET'S DO THIS!
(SPEAKING MINION)
WHO'S THIS HANDSOME HERB
FELLOW?
NO, MY NAME IS BLURB.
I'M A DUNGEON MASTER.
PREPARE FOR TORTURE, WHICH I DO!
ALL RIGHT, ARE WE COMFY?
DOESN'T MATTER, THIS IS TORTURE!
(SCREAMING)
(SPEAKING MINION)
WOW, HARDER THAN I THOUGHT.
>> Jon: JOIN BACK TO THE
PROGRAM JON HAMM!
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
♪
HAVE A SEAT, YOUNG MAN!
THANK YOU, SIR!
>> Jon: NOW, HERE'S WHAT I
HOPE THIS MOVIE IS ABOUT --
>> OKAY.
>> Jon: NINE JEWISH MEN --
(LAUGHTER)
-- LOOKING FOR A TENT --
>> YES.
>> Jon: SO THEY MAY CELEBRATE SHABBOS.
AND YOU WOULD THINK
THEY WOULD HAVE SPELLED IT
CORRECTLY.
>> Jon: BUT THEY DIDN'T.
THEY WOULD HAVE BEEN M-I-N-Y-A-N.
>> WHERE'S THE "Y"?
THAT DON'T HAVE IT.
THE MINYAN'S
TELL ME THAT'S NOT A GOOD ROAD
MOVIE.
>> TELL ME.
>> Jon: "MINIONS"!
"MINIONS"!
NOT FOR NOTHING, YOU'RE GOING TO
HAVE FREE TIME ON YOUR HAND.
>> Jon: NOTHING BUT FREE TIME.
I WILL BE THE DESIGNATED
MINION-MAKER.
>> THERE YOU GO.
>> Jon: I WILL BE GOING AROUND
TO NINE GROUPS OF JEWISH PEOPLE
SAYING, YOU NEED A PEN?
YOU WANT TO PLAY?
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?
>> YOU HAVE A BRIEFCASE THAT
LIGHTS UP FROM THE INSIDE, HAS
ALL YOUR STUFF.
>> Jon: I'M THE MINION MAN.
I WOULD LIKE THAT VERY MUCH.
>> GREAT.
>> Jon: THERE ARE MANY THINGS
I WOULD LIKE TO DO.
LET ME ASK YOU, WHAT WOULD YOU
DO IF YOU WERE ME.
YOU'RE ALWAYS WORKING.
IF YOU HAVE NOTHING BUT TIME,
WHAT'S IN THE HAMM BUCKET LIST?
>> I WOULD GO PLACES.
>> Jon: OH, ALL RIGHT.
YOU DON'T WANT TO GO PLACES?
>> Jon: NO, SOMETIMES THE
FOOD, DIARRHEA, THE WHOLE
THING --
>> WHERE WOULD YOU GO IF YOU
COULD BRING FOOD?
>> Jon: WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE
TO GO?
>> ALL OF SCANDINAVIA, I'VE
NEVER BEEN.
AND I'VE NEVER BEEN NORTH OF THE
ARCTIC CIRCLE.
I WANT TO SEE THE NORTHERN
LIGHTS.
THE ICELAND.
>> Jon: YOU LIKE OUTDOORSY.
TAKE BEAR WITH YOU.
>> DO YOU THINK HE WOULD GO.
>> Jon: DOES THAT COUNT AS A
MINION?
>> I BELIEVE SO!
>> Jon: I'VE NEVER BEEN TO
SCANDINAVIA.
I'VE NEVER TRAVELED MUCH OF
ANYWHERE.
I HAVE BEEN TO BUFFALO.
>> ME, TOO.
SCANDINAVIA.
>> Jon: IS THERE A TIME OF
YEAR WHEN IT'S MORE TEMPERATE.
>> I'M THINKING NOW.
>> Jon: IT'S ALL LIGHTS NOW.
IT'S NEVER DARKNESS NOW, AND WE
WOULD ONLY HAVE TO REALLY DRIVE
OURSELVES MENTALLY INSANE
STAYING UP ALL NIGHT.
THAT WOULD BE FINE.
>> TWO JONS, HITTING THE ROAD,
GOING TO SCANDINAVIA.
>> Jon: TO FIND EIGHT JEWS AND
TO PRAY THAT'S WHAT WE'LL FIND OUT.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING NOW?
THE MINIONS THING, MY KIDS --
>> THEY'LL PROBABLY BE INTO IT.
>> Jon: THEY'RE BONKERS FOR
IT.
THEY'RE 19 AND 18.
>> THEN THEY'LL DEFINITELY GO
FOR IT.
>> Jon: SMOKE A LOT OF DOPE.
THAT'S WHERE IT'S AT.
>> Jon: THERE IS VERY FEW
THINGS THAT COME ON THAT GET
THEIR ATTENTION.
>> I THINK THESE LITTLE MINIONS
ARE SCIENTIFICALLY DESIGNED TO
BE APPEALING TO CHILDREN, AND
NOT ONLY CHILDREN BUT ADULTS.
I THINK THE REASON THEY'RE
APPEALING TO ADULTS IS BECAUSE
THEY LOOK LIKE CAPSULES, THEY
LOOK LIKE PILLS.
SO PEOPLE ARE LIKE, OH, I'M USED
TO THAT.
>> Jon: I GET THAT.
YOU KNOW WHAT MOVIE I WANT TO
SEE?
THE XANAX MOVIE.
>> XANAX, XANAX -- WHAT'S IT
CALLED -- OXYCONTIN.
THAT'S A GREAT MOVIE.
>> Jon: I BET THEY DESIGNED
THE (BLEEP) OUT OF THAT.
THEY TESTED, THAT'S TOO
POINTY --
>> NO, YOU WANT THEM ROUND,
MARGINALLY SQUISHY --
(LAUGHTER)
>> Jon: IN MANY WAYS, THEY DID
DESIGN IT LIKE CHILDREN'S CRACK,
LIKE IT'S SOMETHING THAT JUST
GOES --
>> I'M GOING TO GET IN SO MUCH
TROUBLE FROM UNIVERSAL FROM
THIS.
>> Jon: YOU KNOW WHAT THEY'RE
DOING AT UNIVERSAL WITH YOU
TALKING LIKE THAT?
YES...
(LAUGHTER)
>> TALK TO ME MORE ABOUT THIS
CHILDREN'S CRACK
(LAUGHTER)
WE WOULD LIKE TO WORK ON THE
OTHER MINIONS MOVIE ABOUT THE
JEWS.
NO, NO, LET'S GO WITH THAT
CHILDREN'S CRACK STORY.
>> Jon: YOU THINK IF THEY DID
THE MOVIE WE'RE TALKING ABOUT,
THEY'D REDESIGN THE JEWS SO THEY
WOULD BE MORE APPEALING?
>> THEY WOULD BE MORE ROUNDER,
MORE SQUISHY AND MARGINALLY MORE
YELLOW.
>> Jon: WE'D END UP LIKE
CARTOON KNISH'S --
(HUMMING)
(LAUGHTER)
DOES THAT WORK?
IS THAT THE APPLE THING?
>> YEAH.
WANT TO STAY WHAT HAPPENS?
>> Jon: DO YOU GET NEWS ON IT?
ROBERT SENT ME A TEXT.
>> Jon: DID HE KNOW YOU WERE
ON THE SHOW?
>> YEAH.
>> Jon: CAN YOU TEXT HIM BACK?
IS THAT LIKE A PERSONAL THING OR IS HE JUST CHECKING IN?
WE'RE GOING TO WATCH THE
WOMEN'S WORLD CUP GAME AFTER
THIS
(APPLAUSE)
>> Jon: HOW MUCH OF A CHANCE
DO YOU THINK THEY HAVE AGAINST
GERMANY?
BECAUSE THAT TEAM IS --
>> WE'RE GOING TO WIN!
>> Jon: DO YOU NEED ME TO
ANSWER THAT?
YOU NEED TO ANSWER IT.
I'M WORRIED IT'S GOING TO BLOW
UP.
ANSWER IT!
>> IT WON'T BLOW UP.
THE MORE IMPORTANT THING IS
WE'RE GOING TO BEAT GERMANY.
ARE YOU FOLLOWING FOR AMERICA?
THE YOUNG LADY UP THERE IS FROM
CHILE -- OH, FROM COLOMBIA.
HER BOYFRIEND IS FROM CHILE, AND
HE IS -- HE'S ROOTING FOR
COLOMBIA.
>> WE BEAT COLOMBIA IN THE
PREVIOUS ROUND.
COLOMBIA HAD A LOT OF BIG WORDS
FOR THE US TEAM.
>> Jon: THERE WAS A WOMEN'S.
THIS IS THE MEN'S.
NOW I'M JUST GETTING IN TROUBLE.
(LAUGHTER)
SO YOU BELIEVE GERMANY -- YOU
SAY THE U.S. CAN TAKE THEM.
>> YES.
>> Jon: THEY'RE VERY
DIFFICULT.
I BELIEVE IN THE U.S. WOMEN BUT
THAT'S GOING TO BE A TOUGH GAME.
>> YOU BELIEVE IN U.S. WOMEN IN
GENERAL OR JUST THE TEAM?
(CHEERING)
BECAUSE THE CORRECT ANSWER IS
BOTH.
>> Jon: I BELIEVE THE CORRECT
ANSWER IS MINIONS!
MINIONS IS OUT ON JULY 10, AND YOU
CAN SEE JON HAMM IN THE ARCTIC,
LOOKING FOR THE NORTHERN LIGHTS
WITH ME.
JON HAMM, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK!
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
>> Jon: THAT'S OUR SHOW!
JOIN US TOMORROW NIGHT AT 11:00.
TOMORROW NIGHT AT 11:00 BY, THE
WAY, I BELIEVE OUR GUEST SENATOR
GILLIBRAND WILL BE JOINING US.
RIGHT NOW, YOUR MOMENT OS ZEN.
>> WHEN I HEAR THE MEDIA SAY OUR
COUNTRY IS ANGRY, I KNOW THEY'RE
WRONG.
LAST YEAR I WENT TO 37 DIFFERENT
STATES ACROSS THIS COUNTRY IN
ONE YEAR.
I MET PEOPLE IN EVERY CORNER OF
AMERICA, AND THEY ARE NOT ANGRY.
AMERICANS ARE NOT ANGRY.
AMERICANS ARE FILLED WITH
ANXIETY.